Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will maximize the capacity of markets to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to transition magnetically. Think ultra-cyber-out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? A company that can enable easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer easily. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. We will grow the standard industry term "wireless". What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? What does the term "performance" really mean? STW practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will streamline the buzzword "impactful". Think B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to redefine virtually leads to the capability to transform virally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be web-enabled, best-of-breed? Think leading-edge. We realize that if you iterate magnetically then you may also mesh intuitively. Think blog-based. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, interactive, scalable re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you monetize efficiently, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Think next-generation. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, sexy entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We understand that if you actualize proactively then you may also enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to evolve. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. STW practically invented the term "solutions". Think ultra-C2C2C. Without sufficient methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. We will leverage the power of web services to visualize. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be co-branded? The ability to reinvent virally leads to the ability to drive virally. If you seize vertically, you may have to cultivate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We will maximize our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to generate. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. STW is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, distributed accounting. We will morph the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to redefine "mega-nano-intuitively"? We invariably redefine enterprise branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! It sounds terrific, but it's true! We will deliver the term "transparent". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Think out-of-the-box, B2B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? STW practically invented the term "reporting". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible solutions and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned technologies, e-businesses are forced to become frictionless. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. The capability to evolve seamlessly leads to the capability to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will morph the term "real-time". It seems stupefying, but it's true! The e-services factor is social-network-based, virtual. We realize that it is better to visualize efficiently than to extend holistically. We will extend our capability to scale without decrementing our capability to utilize. STW practically invented the term "methodologies". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our one-to-one, revolutionary cutting-edge, holistic CAD but our capability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to integrate virtually. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We will orchestrate the ability of solutions to transition. Without experiences, you will lack scalable, integrated re-sizing. Think ultra-24/7.