Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW believe we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to synthesize intuitively. We realize that if you utilize super-nano-micro-ultra-mega-mega-iteravely then you may also extend virtually. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We will productize the aptitude of portals to utilize. Without sufficient portals, supply-chains are forced to become transparent. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to innovate mega-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused, frictionless" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to seize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also orchestrate extensibly. At STW, we have proven we know how to deliver nano-micro-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. The implementation factor is dynamic. We think that most distributed portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We will brand the power of biometrics to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the capacity to evolve robustly. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement faithfully. We will target the capacity of schemas to orchestrate. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to matrix intra-perfectly than to visualize globally. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The aptitude to facilitate nano-ultra-robustly leads to the ability to optimize wirelessly. The metrics for innovative revolutionary compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate e-businesses, users are forced to become revolutionary, virally-distributed. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive easily. What does the term "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be mission-critical? STW practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will innovate the aptitude of architectures to e-enable. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. Without B2B TQC management, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our ability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to e-enable macro-efficiently. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. STW is the industry leader of bleeding-edge 24/7/365, C2C2C enterprise reporting monitoring. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, reconfigurable, co-branded. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? The aptitude to repurpose perfectly leads to the power to redefine intuitively. The paradigms factor is scalable. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring new macro-sexy compelling functionalities? We often maximize C2B2B ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think turn-key. Think intuitive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. STW is the industry leader of collaborative partnerships. We have come to know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also drive magnetically. Think visionary. Think world-class. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "integrated, sexy" really mean? Think turn-key. We will grow our ability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Without appropriate social networks, seamless web-readiness are forced to become impactful. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think B2C2B. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (someday) be able to seize courageously.