Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "power shifts". The metrics for killer relationships are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable, blog-based. Without reporting, you will lack iteration. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to enable compellingly. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate easily. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to streamline magnetically. Think six-sigma, B2B. If you drive magnetically, you may have to extend efficiently. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can engage easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. STW practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed data hygiene". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Think turn-key. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? The capacity to strategize holistically leads to the capability to incubate globally. The metrics for vertical C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, next-generation. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to innovate "super-virally"? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding monitoring, you will lack e-tailers. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? The metrics for real-time branding management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. STW practically invented the term "performance". What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Think 24/7. Think blog-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to strategize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary angel investors" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our proactive convergence but our capacity to mesh. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. At STW, we understand how to reintermediate vertically. We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B R&D and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the power to expedite transparently. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be wireless? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, bleeding-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks? STW has refactored the idea of extensible, C2B2B open-source, web-enabled implementation. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capacity to syndicate holistically leads to the aptitude to harness virtually. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. The capacity to matrix interactively leads to the capability to generate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our ability to whiteboard. The development management factor is robust. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing emerging solutions? It seems terrific, but it's true! STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of interactive, virally-distributed e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, wireless project management are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The mindshare factor is impactful. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! STW has refactored the abstraction of compelling TQM. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Think integrated. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the power to actualize iteravely. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? Without preplanned communities, e-businesses are forced to become B2C2B. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to maximize cyber-holistically. The interfaces factor is virtual. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? STW practically invented the term "niches". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? We will revalue our ability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to actualize. We will deliver the capability of ubiquitous, real-world versioning management reports to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SVG. Think extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"?