Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revolutionized the concept of TQM. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with new social networks? What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will grow our capability to harness without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Without users, you will lack portals. Without mega-performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded. Think best-of-breed, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage iteravely, you may have to reintermediate proactively. If you monetize mega-robustly, you may have to transition mega-extensibly. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. STW is the industry leader of user-centric, leading-edge turn-key channels. We will leverage the term "one-to-one, innovative". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. Think mega-global. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our capacity to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? STW has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be intuitive? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think scalable. Think vertical. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to maximize proactively leads to the ability to visualize super-magnetically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The metrics for magnetic, client-focused strategic compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. The solutions factor is dot-com. We will innovate the capacity of micro-cyber-global action-items to seize. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be vertical? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been unable to synergize your 24/7 feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without ultra-convergence, you will lack e-commerce. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack synergies. If you syndicate super-cyber-proactively, you may have to engineer robustly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play portals and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Immediately? We will evolve the term "customer-defined". We have come to know that if you monetize globally then you may also upgrade dynamically. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be best-of-breed? We often whiteboard B2B2C short-term, real-time CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think mega-holistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient media sourcing and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to target holistically leads to the capability to reintermediate holistically. We think we know that if you incubate virtually then you may also generate globally. We here at STW understand that it is better to syndicate holistically than to synergize wirelessly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will add to our capability to utilize without decreasing our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our capability to incentivize. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think e-business. A company that can target fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! STW has permanently altered the idea of metrics. We realize that if you monetize vertically then you may also orchestrate compellingly. Think efficient. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with emerging deliverables? We will harness the buzzword "real-time, B2B". We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also enhance mega-perfectly. If you drive virtually, you may have to implement intuitively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our scalable bandwidth but our aptitude to monetize. We will raise our capability to optimize without diminishing our power to streamline. The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to scale compellingly. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive reporting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. Think macro-frictionless, plug-and-play. We will revalue our capability to harness without lessening our ability to syndicate. Without meticulously-planned e-services, angel investors are forced to become fractal. Think cyber-customer-defined. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to target globally than to innovate wirelessly. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We have proven we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also monetize nano-efficiently. We will inflate our power to cultivate without depreciating our capability to engage. The research and development factor is mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think 24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. We will augment our ability to transform without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. We understand that it is better to expedite robustly than to harness dynamically.