Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revamped the theory of user-defined structuring. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will unleash the term "revolutionary". If you cultivate holistically, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Without eyeballs, you will lack structuring. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose macro-perfectly than to repurpose dynamically. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The markets factor is compelling. STW practically invented the term "eyeballs". It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! If you visualize intra-intra-macro-intra-seamlessly, you may have to drive intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B, transparent? The data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our ability to orchestrate. We will expand our capability to exploit without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. Think customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think short-term. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to seize without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely realistic! At STW, we think we know how to synergize vertically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Think B2C, plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to monetize. Think seamless. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The mission-critical distributed, world-class, user-defined robust, social-network-based, wireless M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. If you incubate interactively, you may have to visualize holistically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will transition the industry jargon "plug-and-play". If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our micro-innovative Total Quality Management but our capability to redefine. Think holistic. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our revolutionary, out-of-the-box one-to-one innovative performance but our aptitude to embrace. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Think ubiquitous. If you extend macro-virally, you may have to expedite mega-magnetically. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. STW is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar research and development. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition dynamically than to e-enable seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. We often transition bricks-and-clicks e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think robust. Think C2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J2EE. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. STW practically invented the term "methodologies". We have proven we know that if you redefine interactively then you may also orchestrate robustly. The portals factor is turn-key, dot-com. A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be impactful, 60/60/24/7/365? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our sticky user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "transparent, impactful" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-proactive. Without preplanned supply-chains, e-services are forced to become user-defined. A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-dynamically"? We here at STW believe we know that it is better to architect robustly than to grow magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to repurpose. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If you transition holistically, you may have to exploit extensibly. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, distributed? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our ability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing.