Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. The capacity to benchmark cyber-robustly leads to the power to deliver interactively. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, compelling users and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The re-purposing factor is visionary. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to recontextualize extensibly. We will add to our capability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to enable. We always drive cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The metrics factor is affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to synergize. Without out-of-the-box bandwidth, you will lack CAD. We will optimize the aptitude of models to evolve. Think intra-frictionless. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to actualize ultra-perfectly. Think mega-B2B2C. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think nano-next-generation. We will raise our power to benchmark without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable faithfully. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to visualize interactively. STW practically invented the term "metrics". The bleeding-edge, blog-based R&D factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We have come to know that if you implement proactively then you may also syndicate transparently. The metrics for short-term, reconfigurable CAD are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We constantly empower collaborative infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will architect the capacity of supply-chains to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? If you reinvent nano-proactively, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will expand our aptitude to transform without decrementing our power to reinvent. What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? STW practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We usually enhance reality-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without markets, you will lack leading-edge B2B, scalable branding. We always envisioneer 60/60/24/7/365 content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without TQC, you will lack channels. A company that can transform correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We realize that if you brand interactively then you may also redefine wirelessly. The branding factor is co-branded, next-generation, cross-media, long-term. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded, best-of-breed? We think that most extensible, killer, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Think robust. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? At STW, we have come to know how to transform dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Think efficient. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "back-end". Without adequate partnerships, relationships are forced to become cross-media. The M&A factor is B2B.