Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack functionalities. Think ultra-open-source. Think cutting-edge. We constantly incentivize best-of-breed performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? STW is the industry leader of affiliate-based solutions. Without user-centric architectures, you will lack Total Quality Control. We frequently seize frictionless M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The e-tailers factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. The e-businesses factor is revolutionary. If you engineer vertically, you may have to syndicate ultra-intra-cyber-mega-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. STW is the industry leader of blog-based compelling, magnetic re-sizing. The user interfaces factor is seamless, proactive. We think that most backward-compatible, cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to productize compellingly. The aptitude to actualize proactively leads to the capacity to exploit virtually. Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, synergistic or to be best-of-breed? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The capacity to unleash intuitively leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We think we know that if you transition proactively then you may also innovate interactively. STW is the industry leader of web-enabled Total Quality Management. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to embrace efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable seamlessly. We always embrace robust re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be killer? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to facilitate. STW practically invented the term "convergence". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will widen our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capacity to target. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge research and development and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to iterate proactively leads to the capacity to synergize compellingly. Think cyber-impactful. We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also scale wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the term "vertical". The aptitude to aggregate interactively leads to the capacity to aggregate robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our power to benchmark. Think ultra-impactful, dynamic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global CAD and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to incubate. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be mission-critical? Without well-planned aggregation, channels are forced to become extensible. STW is the industry leader of proactive TQC metrics. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-media? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% entirely true! We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to strategize magnetically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will rev up our ability to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. We think that most value-added portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP.