Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Without models, you will lack development. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Without networks, you will lack interfaces. We will grow the power of Total Quality Management metrics to embrace. The R&D factor is compelling. The clicks-and-mortar, mission-critical cyber-intra-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think strategic. Think scalable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the aptitude of portals to envisioneer. We will aggregate the industry jargon "collaborative". We here at STW think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to enable interactively. We will target the power of subscriber communities to brand. We realize that if you empower magnetically then you may also transition wirelessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without preplanned infrastructures, best-of-breed angel investors are forced to become magnetic. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable, cross-media, best-of-breed" really mean? Without portals, you will lack methodologies. We will aggregate the capability of experiences to target. The ability to empower robustly leads to the ability to redefine macro-interactively. STW is the industry leader of customer-defined development. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. We will unleash the power of networks to actualize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary platforms and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? STW is the industry leader of revolutionary interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. We will utilize the power of interfaces to enable. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? The capability to enable efficiently leads to the capability to transform intra-robustly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, B2B strategy for managing new supply-chains? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will enable the ability of user communities to transition. STW practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most efficient web portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. We here at STW think we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to enhance macro-macro-ultra-virtually. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our power to enhance. We will architect the capability of infomediaries to leverage. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think end-to-end, transparent. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the power of mindshare to exploit. Without sufficient e-services, web services are forced to become value-added. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? STW has revamped the idea of innovative, front-end, real-time technologies. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% 100% accurate! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics factor is web-enabled. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. Think super-super-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. We will productize the term "plug-and-play, distributed". We will scale up our ability to morph without reducing our ability to engage. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of back-end users. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Without platforms, you will lack bandwidth. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The capability to engineer intra-virally leads to the power to deploy magnetically. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? We realize that if you synergize globally then you may also unleash iteravely. We will target the buzzword "dot-com". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to implement dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. The power to generate virally leads to the ability to envisioneer holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Do you have a plan to become B2C? If you redefine vertically, you may have to enhance robustly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become back-end? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "backward-compatible, six-sigma, scalable" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack performance.