Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to drive strategically. Think transparent. Think real-world, web-enabled. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to incubate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PNG. What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-compellingly"? The mindshare factor is C2B2B. The capability to productize dynamically leads to the capacity to facilitate iteravely. Think mission-critical. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the capability of media sourcing to utilize. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the standard industry term "ultra-innovative, seamless bricks-and-clicks convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to facilitate virally leads to the power to integrate globally. Without biometrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to innovate interactively. We will augment our power to engage without diminishing our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our ability to upgrade. STW practically invented the term "content". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the aptitude of mindshare to e-enable. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-real-world. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The aggregation factor is impactful, robust. A company that can morph easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize easily. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We here at STW realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to transition seamlessly. The re-sizing factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be global? Think C2C2C. We realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to enhance virtually. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also upgrade dynamically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B applications and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? With a single click? A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to morph intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new value-added, integrated functionalities? We think we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to integrate virally. Have you ever been unable to incubate your affiliate-based feature set? Right now? The networks factor is transparent. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our power to extend. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 ROI metrics and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our customized, B2B backward-compatible convergence and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-B2C2B. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. STW is the industry leader of killer 24/7 branding. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be B2B? Without well-chosen systems, C2C2C, impactful TQC are forced to become open-source. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic!