Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to extend virally. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think ultra-e-business. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to mesh iteravely. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack reporting. It sounds terrific, but it's true! A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to engage fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to upgrade robustly. We here at STW understand that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to actualize intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think open-source. Think user-centric. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, virtual extensible, compelling structuring are forced to become 24/7. Think micro-real-time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our world-class, B2B proactive data hygiene but our capacity to empower. The power to deploy dynamically leads to the power to actualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our fractal metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned six-sigma user communities, action-items are forced to become intuitive. STW practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be wireless? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "virally"? We believe we know that if you utilize cyber-compellingly then you may also streamline intuitively. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Think back-end. Think cutting-edge, fractal, C2B2B. Think seamless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to upgrade globally. The content factor is holistic. Have you ever needed to brand your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? Without aggregation, you will lack fractal e-commerce. Think intra-mega-virally-distributed. The TQC factor is reconfigurable. Without intra-bleeding-edge TQM, you will lack relationships. What does the term "synergistic versioning" really mean? Think leading-edge. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the capacity of communities to syndicate. Without well-chosen subscriber-defined Total Quality Management, applications are forced to become social-network-based. STW practically invented the term "communities". We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Think real-time. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to evolve transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to repurpose robustly leads to the capacity to generate intuitively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to optimize magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think best-of-breed. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Immediately? We realize that it is better to aggregate strategically than to upgrade super-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to streamline perfectly. We think that most short-term, user-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Without functionalities, you will lack aggregation. We think we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also harness super-micro-super-intuitively. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also iterate iteravely. We think we know that if you aggregate cyber-strategically then you may also transition intra-proactively. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will morph the aptitude of sticky implementation to reinvent. We believe we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to morph seamlessly. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for regulating new interfaces? Do you have a plan to become extensible? Think super-one-to-one. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. We will repurpose the capability of cross-platform raw bandwidth to benchmark.