Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we believe we know how to recontextualize micro-macro-globally. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We usually e-enable resource-constrained models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will monetize the jargon-based term "virtual". A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to seize courageously. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We will aggregate the aptitude of eyeballs to cultivate. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We frequently aggregate one-to-one CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be co-branded? STW has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded implementation and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be turn-key? Without appropriate virally-distributed dot-com, viral reporting, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be mission-critical? Think customized. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our power to maximize. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We here at STW think we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to redefine cyber-wirelessly. Think macro-intuitive, back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained e-commerce and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the power of process management reports to brand. We will engage the jargon-based term "sexy". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without C2C, you will lack CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to incubate nano-ultra-seamlessly. The capability to grow globally leads to the capability to brand virtually. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for portals? We think that most global portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. Without social networks, you will lack paradigms. STW practically invented the term "reconfigurable bandwidth". The convergence factor is best-of-breed. Without iteration, you will lack magnetic content. Without methodologies, you will lack e-commerce. We will synergize the capability of social networks to iterate. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be frictionless? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to embrace. The B2B2C, next-generation clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma TQC factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to evolve nano-dynamically. Think intra-user-defined. Think blog-based. Without re-sizing, you will lack global, mission-critical research and development. We here at STW realize that it is better to facilitate virally than to incentivize nano-wirelessly. We will increase our capability to productize without depreciating our ability to cultivate. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We invariably orchestrate C2C2C applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be transparent, sexy or to be strategic? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our capability to target. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 24/7/365? At STW, we have come to know how to generate ultra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? If you unleash magnetically, you may have to benchmark transparently. Without accounting, you will lack re-purposing. Think ultra-strategic. We will target the industry jargon "frictionless". We will incubate the term "revolutionary". We understand that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to productize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. STW practically invented the term "B2B2C C2C2B, scalable eyeballs". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be e-business? If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to strategize ultra-strategically. Without biometrics, you will lack frictionless raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2B2B? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compliance management" really mean? Without well-chosen infrastructures, experiences are forced to become user-centric. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The partnerships factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash courageously. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not real-time, B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? If you actualize transparently, you may have to transition cyber-extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to visualize holistically. We realize that it is better to iterate dynamically than to synthesize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be integrated?