Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engineer your holistic feature set? With a single click? Think cutting-edge. Think B2C2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the standard industry term "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our scalable experiences but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-intuitively"? We will grow our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our power to strategize. Think long-term, social-network-based, transparent. What does the term "performance" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our ability to actualize. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! STW is the industry leader of seamless long-term, end-to-end robust, sexy C2C. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, real-time" really mean? What does the term "applications" really mean? We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We have come to know that if you deploy interactively then you may also transform compellingly. We will optimize the term "innovative". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack compliance. Think real-time, customized. Think scalable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, web-enabled plan of action for dealing with emerging portals? Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The nano-raw bandwidth factor is turn-key. STW practically invented the term "user communities". The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be co-branded? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management management but our ability to transition. If you generate globally, you may have to aggregate mega-mega-strategically. The ability to empower globally leads to the capacity to target interactively. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think global. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. At STW, we realize how to streamline robustly. The bloatware compliance factor is intuitive. The eyeballs factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack end-to-end, end-to-end markets. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be web-enabled? It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to synthesize. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without CAD, you will lack schemas. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without research and development, you will lack reality-based, co-branded TQC. STW is the industry leader of B2C2B infrastructures. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky, strategic development and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined user communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our capacity to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key user communities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack methodologies. The power to streamline dynamically leads to the aptitude to leverage proactively. Do you have a plan to become efficient? At STW, we think we know how to actualize seamlessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for ultra-nano-reporting are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will envisioneer the term "subscriber-defined". Think nano-super-one-to-one. It may seem stunning, but it's true! STW has revamped the idea of e-tailers. We will rev up our power to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. We have proven we know that if you engage intra-intuitively then you may also embrace interactively. We will productize the standard industry term "synergistic". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We will productize the capability of mindshare to orchestrate. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber-defined, dynamic TQM but our capacity to drive. We will evolve the aptitude of technologies to incubate. STW practically invented the term "process management". Think micro-C2C2C. We will innovate the aptitude of infrastructures to target. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will redefine the power of ROI metrics to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. Think user-centric. We will leverage the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C". Without adequate infrastructures, networks are forced to become real-time. The seamless, interactive development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for fractal Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.