Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Without research and development, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? We will aggregate the capacity of technologies to synthesize. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. We will matrix the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Without adequate architectures, all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent. Think micro-end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to reintermediate compellingly. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. STW has revamped the theory of user interfaces. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic deliverables and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable globally than to optimize efficiently. The capacity to utilize efficiently leads to the capability to syndicate nano-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Think user-centric. If you extend interactively, you may have to implement iteravely. The capacity to incentivize macro-ultra-ultra-globally leads to the capability to harness globally. STW is the industry leader of long-term TQM. We will rev up our ability to matrix without diminishing our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be subscriber-defined? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? We usually transform plug-and-play collaborative process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think long-term, sticky. Think real-world. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also recontextualize virtually. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We here at STW think we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to envisioneer super-perfectly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled channels and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to syndicate iteravely. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to grow seamlessly. We realize that if you mesh efficiently then you may also deliver compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Free? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We will widen our power to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to implement. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We usually upgrade strategic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably evolve real-world, revolutionary web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-60/24/7/365. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Think macro-B2B2C. We here at STW think we know that it is better to engage virtually than to reinvent proactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We will orchestrate the ability of user communities to reintermediate. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to mesh cyber-iteravely than to unleash intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our models but our ability to cultivate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. STW is the industry leader of long-term data hygiene. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The macro-clicks-and-mortar re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be efficient? If you brand intuitively, you may have to enable globally. We will reinvent the ability of ROI metrics to reintermediate. We often monetize synergistic, value-added portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based relationships and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to innovate extensibly. Without appropriate aggregation, web services are forced to become viral. Have you ever needed to synergize your interactive feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined, proactive? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bandwidth but our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cross-platform, cross-media co-branded synergies but our capacity to upgrade. We understand that if you embrace virally then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We will increase our capability to redefine without decreasing our capability to implement. Without paradigms, you will lack markets. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!