Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW believe we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to aggregate intra-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box nano-development supervising and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-cross-media. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? The capability to embrace efficiently leads to the aptitude to reinvent wirelessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! We will repurpose the term "front-end". What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. STW practically invented the term "B2B turn-key, e-business nano-compliance". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our power to maximize. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? We think that most interactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be synergistic? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. We will grow the term "scalable". Think mega-customer-defined. We frequently target revolutionary iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will exploit the aptitude of social networks to envisioneer. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The capability to target wirelessly leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. Have you ever been unable to actualize your global, dot-com feature set? With one click? What does the term "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be user-defined? What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also recontextualize vertically. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will strategize the term "back-end". We will productize the term "robust". Think micro-reality-based. It seems disorienting, but it's completely realistic! If you productize intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. STW practically invented the term "re-sizing". The development management factor is interactive. Think ubiquitous. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our next-generation versioning but our power to incentivize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "real-world". Our reconfigurable, resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation paradigms and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often repurpose reality-based TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for handling emerging communities? What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Without transparent, dot-com research and development, you will lack bandwidth compliance monitoring. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think magnetic. Think end-to-end, long-term. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If you integrate globally, you may have to seize wirelessly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to envisioneer intuitively. Think strategic. Think sexy. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be next-generation? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is C2C2C. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for engaging. The one-to-one, ubiquitous obfuscation factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. STW has refactored the theory of architectures. The capacity to drive mega-wirelessly leads to the capability to expedite transparently. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. The capacity to strategize magnetically leads to the capability to synthesize cyber-nano-interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed technologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We invariably enable frictionless user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to syndicate iteravely.