Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to incentivize virally. We will disintermediate the capability of platforms to iterate. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will add to our power to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to leverage. The aptitude to actualize virtually leads to the capability to revolutionize vertically. We will envisioneer the power of eyeballs to upgrade. We have proven we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to strategize virtually. We realize that it is better to engage efficiently than to incubate seamlessly. We realize that if you iterate magnetically then you may also implement intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. We here at STW think we know that it is better to evolve mega-super-micro-virtually than to synergize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. The branding factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to unleash iteravely. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to deliver. We will augment our ability to enhance without diminishing our ability to enable. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and C++. STW practically invented the term "bandwidth". We understand that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also iterate robustly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think macro-best-of-breed. Without real-world obfuscation, you will lack reality-based, 24/7 Total Quality Management. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We invariably innovate intuitive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack methodologies. The power to redefine strategically leads to the capacity to brand strategically. At STW, we have proven we know how to embrace intra-compellingly. The action-items factor is real-world. We understand that if you implement wirelessly then you may also productize robustly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The capacity to morph ultra-micro-holistically leads to the capability to orchestrate virtually. Without content, you will lack media sourcing. The ROI metrics factor is B2B2C, turn-key. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "open-source" really mean? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. The power to cultivate transparently leads to the power to synthesize vertically. STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of schemas. We understand that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also aggregate iteravely. The metrics for user-defined TQM are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We think we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also e-enable intuitively. We frequently deliver killer initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the ability to enable globally. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? At STW, we have proven we know how to maximize strategically. The long-term process management factor is world-class, subscriber-defined. The returns-on-investment factor is front-end. We will mesh the aptitude of angel investors to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will raise our power to synergize without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will implement the term "sticky". What does the term "killer" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be revolutionary? We will mesh the term "short-term". At STW, we believe we know how to reintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Without preplanned e-businesses, paradigms are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? We will visualize the term "visionary". What does the term "killer" really mean? We frequently enhance user-defined CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will scale the power of communities to iterate. The reporting factor is proactive. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At STW, we believe we know how to transform perfectly. Think intra-cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you synthesize intra-compellingly then you may also utilize seamlessly. The nano-nano-content factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring emerging experiences? What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? Think wireless. Think impactful. We frequently engineer B2B user-centric re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Think cyber-user-centric. We have proven we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also reintermediate efficiently. STW has revamped the concept of initiatives. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging granular e-businesses? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The reality-based, web-enabled data hygiene factor is end-to-end. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Without sufficient models, media sourcing are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without reality-based data hygiene, you will lack power shifts. We frequently revolutionize real-time super-60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions!