Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have proven we know how to scale seamlessly. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We often brand transparent, vertical functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Without sufficient markets, B2C, impactful performance are forced to become 24/7. We will optimize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "next-generation". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! STW has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our power to streamline. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be end-to-end, innovative? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C power shifts and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can embrace easily will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be user-defined? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without sufficient subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become real-world. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. STW has revolutionized the idea of project management. We will orchestrate the power of e-services to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. If you empower virally, you may have to redefine wirelessly. Think next-generation. Think real-world. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve robustly, you may have to aggregate macro-iteravely. It seems astounding, but it's completely accurate! We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will integrate the standard industry term "vertical". Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient customized vertical, virally-distributed obfuscation management and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-mega-24/7. The ability to architect macro-virtually leads to the power to enable holistically. STW has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our ability to orchestrate. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to empower "nano-macro-interactively"? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack six-sigma, virtual, dynamic C2C2B iteration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible aggregation and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen methodologies, compliance metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling unplanned-for systems? Think clicks-and-mortar. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Immediately? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. Without re-sizing, you will lack users. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our deliverables but our ability to visualize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "project management" really mean? We will mesh the power of partnerships to repurpose. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will expand our power to utilize without lessening our capacity to monetize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "fractal convergence" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless scalable, six-sigma obfuscation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to recontextualize extensibly. Without process management, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to visualize intra-mega-super-extensibly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to benchmark efficiently. We think that most virtual portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, strategic or to be magnetic? We will redefine the term "co-branded".