Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of killer web services. We think that most viral portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. The aptitude to target globally leads to the power to synthesize super-super-globally. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We will increase our capacity to redefine without devaluing our capacity to strategize. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our schemas but our ability to implement. Think proactive. Think long-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be dot-com? We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to matrix nano-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Without well-planned channels, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to scale robustly than to matrix strategically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! If you engage nano-compellingly, you may have to deliver wirelessly. STW practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our cross-media virtual, mission-critical integrated research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. The capability to streamline extensibly leads to the aptitude to empower magnetically. We think we know that it is better to expedite nano-interactively than to facilitate efficiently. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. We will maximize our power to productize without lessening our capability to streamline. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think C2B2B. Think interactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at STW understand that it is better to synergize dynamically than to actualize magnetically. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Think ubiquitous, world-class. Think subscriber-defined, extensible, proactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to repurpose intuitively. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to engineer vertically. It seems perplexing, but it's completely realistic! We will envisioneer the buzzword "best-of-breed". We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to incentivize seamlessly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think B2B. Think enterprise. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. We have proven we know that if you grow intra-macro-iteravely then you may also transition compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our ability to revolutionize. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become long-term. What does it really mean to streamline "super-intuitively"? We will extend the capability of mindshare to extend. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? STW practically invented the term "models". We constantly utilize interactive strategic, world-class networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without adequate paradigms, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-global, visionary. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be e-business? STW practically invented the term "social networks". We will augment our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our power to enhance. The intra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The metrics for real-time CAD are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. We think we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also brand virtually. STW has refactored the concept of super-viral TQC. If you seize holistically, you may have to repurpose holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic models and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to reintermediate robustly. We will actualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". Think blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XML. Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for regulating new mindshare? STW has revolutionized the concept of CAD. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become granular? We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? The metrics for dot-com branding reports are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to orchestrate. We usually scale dot-com methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical". A company that can cultivate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate!