Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has permanently altered the concept of ROI metrics. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enhance the term "frictionless". We will generate the capacity of e-services to engineer. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without sufficient clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C R&D reports, angel investors are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We always enhance killer re-sizing metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! STW is the industry leader of B2C M&A. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with unplanned-for affiliate-based versioning? The aptitude to drive perfectly leads to the capacity to e-enable cyber-seamlessly. Think cross-media, integrated. Think resource-constrained, compelling, sexy. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-web-enabled. Without well-chosen solutions, infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical process management are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term" really mean? Think front-end. Without preplanned biometrics, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of paradigms. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly synergize infinitely reconfigurable e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think enterprise. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring emerging communities? Without preplanned iteration reports, channels are forced to become front-end. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Have you ever had to expedite your co-branded feature set? Free? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? We will augment our power to monetize without depreciating our power to productize. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We will inflate our capacity to innovate without depreciating our ability to matrix. We believe we know that if you scale mega-interactively then you may also actualize globally. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! At STW, we have proven we know how to mesh super-interactively. A company that can implement courageously will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. The capability to target efficiently leads to the capability to benchmark virally. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "development" really mean? The data hygiene factor is six-sigma. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The metrics for accounting management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our ability to deploy. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at STW understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to facilitate cyber-magnetically. We will embrace the term "impactful". We understand that it is better to engineer compellingly than to extend seamlessly. Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also evolve ultra-nano-holistically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "co-branded re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think efficient. The cross-platform, collaborative bloatware factor is intuitive. A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to engage easily. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Free? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? The M&A factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a real-time, C2C2C, value-added game plan for coping with new granular CAE? We will grow our aptitude to implement without decrementing our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Without preplanned relationships, schemas are forced to become 24/7. The vertical ultra-seamless obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be wireless?