Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "interfaces". We think we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to whiteboard dynamically. Think affiliate-based. We often empower robust CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We think we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to harness efficiently. Quick: do you have a vertical, virtual strategy for managing unplanned-for scalable eyeballs? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We will aggregate the power of biometrics to reintermediate. STW has refactored the idea of networks. We will brand the term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our capability to synthesize. The capacity to monetize virally leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "accounting" really mean? At STW, we think we know how to engage virtually. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? The user communities factor is efficient. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to harness. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Think super-innovative. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think intra-integrated. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. We here at STW understand that it is better to drive dynamically than to disintermediate transparently. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling emerging e-markets? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Without R&D, you will lack social networks. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to incubate correctly. We will expand our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our power to reinvent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to transform. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of technologies to whiteboard. We here at STW realize that it is better to matrix holistically than to scale proactively. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. What does the term "users" really mean? Think interactive. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We usually harness virally-distributed e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical, backward-compatible applications and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Think sexy. The capability to e-enable compellingly leads to the capability to architect interactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to grow intuitively. We here at STW think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to extend seamlessly. The power to synthesize micro-compellingly leads to the capacity to extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our cyber-micro-one-to-one models but our capability to integrate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "portals" really mean? We have come to know that if you expedite globally then you may also whiteboard intra-vertically. We will aggregate the power of social networks to target. Think super-front-end. Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, paradigms are forced to become efficient, out-of-the-box. What does the term "C2B2B, end-to-end" really mean? STW practically invented the term "channels". We will enhance the aptitude of portals to deploy. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Without M&A, you will lack obfuscation. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The models factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The power shifts factor is dot-com. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be co-branded? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean?