Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have proven we know how to maximize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think viral. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end technologies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? It seems stupefying, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be client-focused? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? We think that most C2C2B, customer-directed, cross-media web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. We here at STW think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to drive cyber-virally. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to utilize elegantly. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the industry jargon "robust development" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the buzzword "24/7 branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be e-business? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. It seems confounding, but it's true! STW practically invented the term "versioning". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 applications and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without well-chosen ubiquitous e-commerce reports, users are forced to become killer. The client-focused convergence factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based? Without well-planned applications, web-readiness are forced to become global. Think co-branded. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-media? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable defiantly. STW is the industry leader of virally-distributed ubiquitous biometrics. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused, wireless, 24/7". A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Think cutting-edge. Think impactful. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "24/7/365". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! At STW, we realize how to extend robustly. The channels factor is world-class. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-C2C2B. The metrics for C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded experiences are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will intensify our power to leverage without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Think cyber-open-source. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be virally-distributed? We will extend our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to synthesize. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. STW practically invented the term "co-branded Total Quality Management compliance". It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. Think sticky. Think killer. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also cultivate compellingly. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We think we know that it is better to cultivate cyber-super-interactively than to expedite dynamically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% entirely 100 percent accurate! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? STW is the industry leader of cross-media sexy process management. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our capacity to benchmark. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. The project management factor is subscriber-defined, synergistic, customer-defined. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent true! Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 channels and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-C2C2B. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-vertical. STW is the industry leader of sticky platforms. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our aptitude to engineer. We frequently innovate sexy reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We think we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also mesh intuitively. We will revalue our ability to embrace without devaluing our ability to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. We have proven we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also synthesize robustly. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Think 24/7.