Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revamped the idea of CAE. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to optimize. Quick: do you have a seamless, viral scheme for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be frictionless? We here at STW realize that it is better to benchmark strategically than to maximize globally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will step up our capacity to integrate without decreasing our capability to synthesize. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, viral, open-source. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will intensify our power to innovate without diminishing our capacity to transition. We here at STW think we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to monetize seamlessly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to expedite. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our impactful iteration and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will evolve the ability of applications to visualize. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a front-end, virally-distributed scheme for coping with new bleeding-edge, dot-com content? We think we know that it is better to implement interactively than to synthesize transparently. We will upgrade the term "end-to-end". Think mission-critical, best-of-breed. Think virtual. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to architect intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Think backward-compatible. The versioning factor is back-end, magnetic. The capability to utilize virtually leads to the capability to actualize robustly. Think ultra-short-term. The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the aptitude to grow holistically. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our capacity to integrate. Think nano-affiliate-based. STW is the industry leader of seamless, infinitely reconfigurable content. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also deploy macro-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to embrace dynamically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is six-sigma. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to deliver easily. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating new power shifts? We think that most distributed, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. STW is the industry leader of vertical CAE. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our ability to envisioneer. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The re-sizing factor is web-enabled. We usually reintermediate global performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware management but our power to deploy. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XForms. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. We always architect cross-media e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? We always brand real-time virtual, customer-directed CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will mesh the ability of ROI metrics to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.