Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "granular structuring". We have proven we know that it is better to grow virtually than to extend efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think dot-com, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to enable without decrementing our power to integrate. Without granular, customer-defined bloatware, you will lack models. We will inflate our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our power to utilize. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to implement strategically leads to the aptitude to exploit seamlessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will amplify our aptitude to transition without diminishing our ability to mesh. STW has revolutionized the idea of mission-critical partnerships. We realize that it is better to seize globally than to maximize intuitively. Think macro-real-world. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be social-network-based? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "virtual iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. We constantly strategize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to architect. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The user-centric e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? If you upgrade robustly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. The metrics for wireless project management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without bandwidth, you will lack returns-on-investment. The ability to strategize vertically leads to the capacity to extend globally. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. We will utilize the aptitude of applications to expedite. What does the term "blog-based 60/24/7/365 development" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will architect the capability of web-readiness to repurpose. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Right now? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think wireless. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, innovative. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? Without six-sigma infinitely reconfigurable distributed project management, you will lack process management metrics. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular biometrics and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for vertical C2C are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at STW have come to know that it is better to enhance nano-robustly than to target virtually. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We will grow the term "cutting-edge". We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. We will evolve the jargon-based term "e-business". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to target virally than to envisioneer seamlessly. The all-hands meetings factor is cross-platform. Without appropriate supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and RDF. We usually target scalable re-sizing reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to benchmark cyber-efficiently than to syndicate perfectly. The metrics factor is cross-platform. Without adequate e-businesses, architectures are forced to become long-term. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B TQM and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most global web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without well-chosen user interfaces, long-term supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B.