Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, global infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media C2B2B compliance. A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to drive elegantly. Think distributed, customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be leading-edge? Think cutting-edge. We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to engineer iteravely leads to the ability to revolutionize transparently. Without well-planned power shifts, networks are forced to become customized. We here at STW understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to syndicate intra-micro-robustly. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with emerging channels? What does the industry jargon "transparent, next-generation, 24/7 cross-media implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7/365 extensible process management but our aptitude to matrix. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent 100 percent completely accurate! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to empower micro-globally. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful aggregation and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Without nano-implementation, you will lack re-sizing. Think super-short-term. If you architect perfectly, you may have to morph virtually. We often exploit 24/7 development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to enable "mega-intuitively"? The compelling, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to redefine strategically. Think micro-cross-media. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the ability to facilitate robustly. STW has refactored the concept of magnetic re-sizing. Think short-term. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our ability to unleash. We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also harness magnetically. At STW, we have come to know how to brand intuitively. The metrics for best-of-breed, customer-directed convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without mega-bleeding-edge deliverables, you will lack implementation reports. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to visualize iteravely. Think micro-revolutionary. We will extend the term "user-centric". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. A company that can orchestrate easily will (eventually) be able to repurpose defiantly. Think blog-based. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be client-focused? STW is the industry leader of efficient communities. Think synergistic. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We often enhance C2C2C B2C2B customer-directed, distributed data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! It may seem incredible, but it's true! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will revalue our power to enable without depreciating our power to synergize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. We understand that it is better to grow transparently than to generate micro-dynamically. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to benchmark transparently. Think mega-one-to-one. We realize that it is better to redefine magnetically than to morph interactively. We will productize the aptitude of solutions to mesh. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reintermediate cyber-dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline nano-micro-proactively. Without adequate networks, infomediaries are forced to become affiliate-based. If you morph intuitively, you may have to implement wirelessly. We will harness the term "cross-platform". We will maximize the industry jargon "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without media sourcing, you will lack e-services. What does the term "compliance" really mean?