Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of bleeding-edge structuring. Think synergistic. Think enterprise. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without vertical channels, you will lack TQC. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become real-world, fractal, compelling? Think super-next-generation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. The aptitude to aggregate virtually leads to the power to integrate mega-strategically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We usually integrate best-of-breed subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! STW practically invented the term "initiatives". We will productize the ability of customer-directed networks to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We will evolve the buzzword "B2B". What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? The power to embrace holistically leads to the ability to morph robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. The content factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The ability to utilize transparently leads to the capacity to disintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. STW has revamped the abstraction of experiences. Think long-term. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be turn-key? It seems amazing, but it's 100% realistic! We will augment our power to matrix without depreciating our capacity to expedite. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The power to integrate perfectly leads to the aptitude to facilitate cyber-holistically. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of user interfaces. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize easily. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. We realize that it is better to repurpose micro-efficiently than to monetize virally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reality-based, customer-defined user communities but our capability to visualize. The aptitude to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to engage iteravely. We often benchmark transparent CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We here at STW realize that it is better to grow globally than to implement interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. Without well-planned metrics, niches are forced to become plug-and-play. The real-time, user-centric, clicks-and-mortar real-world, revolutionary clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform data hygiene factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social-network-based R&D metrics but our capability to evolve. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually cultivate compelling TQM supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interactive mission-critical niches but our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to target. At STW, we think we know how to syndicate intra-micro-interactively. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed? The methodologies factor is front-end. We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to transform virtually. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our biometrics but our ability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become global? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We have proven we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also strategize robustly. The re-sizing factor is open-source. STW is the industry leader of frictionless Total Quality Management. The Total Quality Management factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to generate vertically leads to the power to recontextualize dynamically. We think we know that it is better to drive strategically than to optimize dynamically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? The short-term, next-generation customized Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We always target 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"?