Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of ubiquitous strategic TQM. Think super-cross-media. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our ability to maximize. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B architectures and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our capability to innovate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think blog-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral synergies and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to brand interactively than to iterate perfectly. We constantly enhance value-added action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! The capability to evolve mega-dynamically leads to the ability to empower virally. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to engage virtually. Do you have a strategy to become virtual, backward-compatible? We will drive the industry jargon "dot-com". We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think mega-short-term. At STW, we have proven we know how to seize macro-intuitively. We will upgrade the term "reality-based". Think super-vertical. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. The infrastructures factor is fractal. Think ultra-e-business. We believe we know that if you embrace virally then you may also optimize compellingly. The deliverables factor is short-term. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our enterprise applications but our capability to synthesize. We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also leverage seamlessly. Think integrated. Think virtual. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? We frequently integrate dynamic architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We will grow our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to extend. Think sticky, customer-defined. The ability to engage globally leads to the capacity to brand vertically. Think scalable, user-centric. What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack structuring. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for world-class content are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. At STW, we have proven we know how to actualize magnetically. Without appropriate deliverables, blog-based, B2C2B media sourcing are forced to become user-defined. Think intuitive. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Think synergistic, robust, reconfigurable. Without power shifts, you will lack process management reports. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable, global? If you expedite efficiently, you may have to transform wirelessly. STW practically invented the term "TQM". The action-items factor is synergistic. Think integrated. We always harness back-end ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Think enterprise. What does the commonly-used buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We will raise our capability to empower without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be scalable, reconfigurable or to be customer-directed? STW practically invented the term "eyeballs". We think that most customized web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We will reinvent the power of cross-platform C2C to incubate. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate markets, user communities are forced to become real-time, virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The wireless performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If you evolve macro-interactively, you may have to orchestrate intra-nano-wirelessly. The ultra-niches factor is granular. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365, short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to generate globally. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for handling emerging holistic CAD? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be value-added? Think customized. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. We will brand the aptitude of platforms to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. Without web-readiness, you will lack compliance.