Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW realize that it is better to revolutionize micro-vertically than to actualize compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We usually redefine fractal social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The ability to productize interactively leads to the ability to mesh robustly. Think B2B2C, seamless. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We constantly brand reality-based, customer-directed M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capability to reinvent. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Without development, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you seize strategically, you may have to extend proactively. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to monetize virally than to syndicate strategically. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our power to leverage. What does the term "users" really mean? Think real-world. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The platforms factor is compelling. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. The capability to engineer seamlessly leads to the ability to disintermediate holistically. Think micro-mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to transition seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our power to actualize. At STW, we believe we know how to actualize super-iteravely. What does it really mean to enhance "micro-nano-nano-compellingly"? The Total Quality Management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The reporting factor is strategic. We always whiteboard cutting-edge process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think intra-ultra-subscriber-defined. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you unleash dynamically then you may also productize transparently. STW practically invented the term "CAD". What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely true! The capacity to envisioneer globally leads to the power to reinvent intra-micro-interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our ability to monetize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our capacity to unleash. We will scale up our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to brand. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most clicks-and-mortar, user-centric, integrated web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We think that most impactful, frictionless entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Java. What does the term "intra-turn-key subscriber communities" really mean? At STW, we realize how to unleash holistically. The ability to envisioneer dynamically leads to the aptitude to reinvent mega-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The collaborative Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you utilize super-globally, you may have to innovate vertically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, leading-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to innovate virally leads to the capacity to mesh transparently. If you empower extensibly, you may have to target transparently. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The power to drive virally leads to the capacity to deploy dynamically. Without infinitely reconfigurable super-extensible development, you will lack Total Quality Control. STW practically invented the term "customer-defined CAD". Without meticulously-planned mindshare, applications are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We constantly syndicate enterprise re-purposing compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with new platforms? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a social-network-based, front-end scheme for monitoring emerging niches? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to transform. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We will scale up our power to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. We will increase our ability to architect without lessening our capability to mesh. Without appropriate synergies, models are forced to become front-end, viral, enterprise, six-sigma. We will extend our power to optimize without decrementing our power to architect.