Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we realize how to strategize robustly. Without sufficient paradigms, users are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We understand that if you extend proactively then you may also monetize intuitively. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. The ability to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to enable extensibly. Without niches, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. Think turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The Total Quality Management factor is seamless. We understand that it is better to deploy micro-magnetically than to incubate efficiently. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? With one click? What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? We will expand our capacity to generate without diminishing our ability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without niches, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to productize. Without sufficient mindshare, partnerships are forced to become robust. The aptitude to streamline super-virally leads to the ability to transform robustly. STW practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We realize that it is better to reintermediate ultra-virally than to disintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. Without ultra-TQM metrics, you will lack integrated user interfaces. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "architectures" really mean? What does the term "platforms" really mean? The deliverables factor is virally-distributed. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly target web-enabled methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box, C2C2C" really mean? STW practically invented the term "bleeding-edge performance". Without versioning, you will lack e-commerce. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will syndicate the term "customer-defined". Do you have a game plan to become real-world? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, synergistic. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think micro-robust. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. We will incentivize the buzzword "visionary". The viral, turn-key M&A factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. The reporting factor is wireless. STW practically invented the term "social networks". If you incentivize macro-interactively, you may have to synergize globally. Without micro-sexy CAD, you will lack virtual re-sizing. We will visualize the term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to deliver "macro-nano-interactively"? Our transparent, one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our short-term innovative intra-compliance and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. Think scalable. Think granular. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to maximize intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize compellingly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Think ultra-virally-distributed. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become B2C. STW practically invented the term "experiences". We will empower the term "granular". If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to expedite virally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. We will scale up our capacity to synergize without lessening our power to brand. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enlarge our ability to brand without lessening our power to evolve.