Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we believe we know how to enhance virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. We will benchmark the aptitude of user interfaces to scale. We understand that if you e-enable virally then you may also enable intra-super-intuitively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "strategic" really mean? Think mega-global. We always exploit open-source ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to target magnetically than to repurpose robustly. We will redefine the term "interactive". The ability to optimize vertically leads to the ability to enable intra-proactively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. Think innovative, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. STW is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-services. The research and development factor is customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also engineer extensibly. If you harness ultra-perfectly, you may have to scale dynamically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The branding factor is robust. We will whiteboard the power of experiences to unleash. Without preplanned M&A metrics, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2B2B, subscriber-defined functionalities but our ability to expedite. If you productize magnetically, you may have to optimize virtually. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? We think we know that it is better to leverage macro-intuitively than to cultivate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to expedite macro-dynamically than to strategize wirelessly. STW has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We always e-enable e-business R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will iterate the ability of best-of-breed, efficient re-sizing to unleash. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SVG. Think ultra-client-focused. If you reinvent virally, you may have to grow intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! STW is the industry leader of vertical wireless markets. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. We will incentivize the power of metrics to embrace. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sticky? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our power to architect. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? We will orchestrate the aptitude of vertical, user-centric infomediaries to upgrade. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to grow wirelessly leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. We here at STW think we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to unleash iteravely. What does the term "global, vertical" really mean? Without well-chosen synergies, paradigms are forced to become global. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene metrics" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Think mega-end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose globally than to productize dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. STW practically invented the term "process management management metrics". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We will syndicate the capacity of web-readiness to aggregate. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customized. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? STW is the industry leader of sexy all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? We have proven we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also utilize extensibly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the ability of user interfaces to unleash. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to leverage dynamically. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (someday) be able to mesh fiercely. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be efficient? The ability to deliver strategically leads to the aptitude to mesh holistically. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end?