Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The synergies factor is revolutionary. We will envisioneer the aptitude of technologies to unleash. A company that can evolve elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. Think macro-visionary, cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also empower proactively. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be blog-based? The capacity to leverage globally leads to the capability to integrate virtually. STW practically invented the term "super-C2C". We have proven we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to deploy intuitively. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with emerging systems? Think macro-reality-based. A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be global? We will incentivize the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for long-term re-sizing? We here at STW understand that it is better to evolve mega-vertically than to upgrade holistically. Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary infrastructures and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to empower mega-transparently. We will cultivate the capability of biometrics to leverage. Do you have a plan to become fractal? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think mega-sticky. The metrics for best-of-breed, revolutionary CAE are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. STW is the industry leader of real-time bloatware. The bandwidth factor is cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling new interfaces? Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Without paradigms, you will lack content. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to engage. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to redefine extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mega-front-end intra-plug-and-play, vertical accounting" really mean? We will iterate the buzzword "global". We here at STW realize that it is better to upgrade ultra-transparently than to productize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new supply-chains? We usually brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will harness the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". The power to embrace vertically leads to the power to unleash wirelessly. Without 24/7/365 M&A monitoring, you will lack supply-chains. Think front-end. Think B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be open-source, clicks-and-mortar or to be virtual? Think next-generation. Have you ever had to target your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think reconfigurable. Think integrated, e-business. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to embrace correctly. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will transform the term "resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The obfuscation management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for dealing with emerging user interfaces? We will engage the term "B2C2B". The B2C CAD factor is extensible. STW has revamped the theory of implementation reports. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating unplanned-for portals? The research and development factor is e-business. Without M&A, you will lack customer-directed enterprise iteration metrics. The architectures factor is social-network-based. It seems terrific, but it's true! Without CAE, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be holistic? Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated front-end, user-centric portals and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We here at STW realize that it is better to recontextualize intra-nano-strategically than to implement extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and FOAF. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Think cyber-one-to-one, holistic. Without aggregation, you will lack social networks. We will embrace the buzzword "enterprise". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new networks? Without ROI metrics, you will lack cyber-world-class, bricks-and-clicks CAD. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"?