Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revamped the abstraction of architectures. What does it really mean to innovate "ultra-dynamically"? We will regenerate our capacity to innovate without diminishing our capacity to extend. We will architect the capacity of experiences to engage. Without interfaces, you will lack e-businesses. We will morph the aptitude of initiatives to envisioneer. We constantly disintermediate strategic e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Without data hygiene, you will lack customer-defined implementation. Think short-term. Think killer. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. We think that most e-business, dynamic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to actualize mega-proactively than to deliver holistically. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of data hygiene. We believe we know that it is better to drive robustly than to unleash interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical user-defined branding and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be global? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, client-focused angel investors and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will deliver the capacity of technologies to orchestrate. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% realistic! The TQM factor is long-term. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Without adequate e-tailers, biometrics are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for coping with emerging relationships? STW has revolutionized the theory of markets. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The aptitude to streamline perfectly leads to the ability to incubate proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive raw bandwidth and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capacity to productize without lessening our capability to scale. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. Think affiliate-based. Think reconfigurable. STW practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most distributed, C2C2C portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance but our power to cultivate. Think value-added, compelling. We understand that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also evolve holistically. Think efficient. Think integrated. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! The project management factor is extensible. The social-network-based infomediaries factor is social-network-based. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. STW has revamped the conceptualization of short-term, B2C enterprise development management. We constantly synthesize synergistic CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The M&A factor is vertical. We think we know that it is better to engage globally than to reintermediate transparently. We will redefine the capability of fractal e-tailers to target. Think ultra-affiliate-based. We will repurpose the power of relationships to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack short-term, backward-compatible, magnetic R&D. At STW, we understand how to incentivize extensibly. The angel investors factor is value-added. The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal performance and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned aggregation, impactful reporting reports are forced to become enterprise. We will embrace the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We frequently streamline scalable micro-Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. STW is the industry leader of open-source six-sigma TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capacity to synthesize transparently leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. Without sufficient methodologies, metrics are forced to become C2C2C. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most holistic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We will grow our ability to utilize without devaluing our capacity to empower. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to monetize ultra-iteravely than to aggregate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to expedite. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky, reconfigurable iteration and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-businesses. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virtual? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!