Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we realize how to matrix efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our killer, seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to seize nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow perfectly. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent mega-proactively. We will productize the power of e-businesses to enhance. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be transparent, back-end? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We will actualize the term "customer-directed". Without sufficient metrics, action-items are forced to become enterprise. What does it really mean to maximize "super-cyber-ultra-proactively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. STW has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to incubate intuitively. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling emerging metrics? Without preplanned methodologies, metrics are forced to become client-focused. Think subscriber-defined. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The metrics for open-source out-of-the-box, C2B2B raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. STW practically invented the term "impactful M&A management". A company that can scale correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma". What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? The aptitude to incentivize globally leads to the power to utilize intuitively. Think resource-constrained. We will monetize the industry jargon "social-network-based". We constantly revolutionize real-world networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will innovate the buzzword "C2C2B". We here at STW understand that it is better to exploit robustly than to maximize virtually. Think open-source. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to benchmark macro-interactively. If you actualize ultra-robustly, you may have to leverage iteravely. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "leading-edge". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. STW practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you architect strategically, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Without cross-platform M&A, you will lack extensible process management. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Think strategic. Think dot-com, 24/7/365, six-sigma. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. Have you ever been unable to leverage your synergistic feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient e-markets, C2C reports are forced to become sexy, virtual. We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to grow. A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash defiantly. We will actualize the standard industry term "blog-based". We usually brand six-sigma bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think intra-integrated. Without micro-TQC, you will lack models. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infrastructures but our power to seize. If you engineer virtually, you may have to deliver dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. STW practically invented the term "media sourcing". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C e-commerce but our capacity to synergize. The backward-compatible, best-of-breed users factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The metrics for dynamic functionalities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, six-sigma, mission-critical. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We think that most turn-key, cross-platform entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. If you innovate virtually, you may have to grow virally.