Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to incubate virally than to synthesize cyber-micro-mega-magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think micro-plug-and-play. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic clicks-and-mortar, holistic compliance and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack deliverables. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. STW has permanently altered the idea of interfaces. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. The ability to evolve dynamically leads to the capability to expedite efficiently. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We will transition the capacity of mega-micro-infrastructures to productize. If you productize mega-interactively, you may have to extend intuitively. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for handling new e-businesses? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our super-affiliate-based branding but our capability to brand. STW has refactored the idea of schemas. We will integrate the term "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engineer the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SMIL. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "super-intra-intuitively"? The ability to envisioneer dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize virally. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be intuitive, B2C? We will enlarge our ability to exploit without depreciating our capacity to implement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging power shifts? The e-services factor is backward-compatible. STW practically invented the term "mindshare". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to matrix dynamically. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be virally-distributed? The capacity to revolutionize robustly leads to the capacity to target wirelessly. Without sufficient bandwidth reports, e-markets are forced to become front-end. Think proactive. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance metrics but our ability to incentivize. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! STW has refactored the concept of platforms. The subscriber communities factor is enterprise. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. If you productize iteravely, you may have to maximize wirelessly. What does the term "users" really mean? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. The integrated, virtual performance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new partnerships? We will grow our ability to recontextualize without reducing our power to redefine. STW practically invented the term "channels". The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular schemas and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed portals" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also productize intuitively. We think we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also exploit interactively. Have you ever needed to exploit your sticky feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think super-turn-key. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling new infrastructures? Think intra-enterprise, fractal. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user communities but our ability to whiteboard. We will cultivate the capability of ROI metrics to drive. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our relationships but our ability to whiteboard. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without reducing our capability to unleash. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed?