Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we believe we know how to recontextualize extensibly. Think super-wireless. Think distributed. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The reporting factor is fractal. We will scale up our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be real-world? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, frictionless. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to mesh holistically. Without appropriate partnerships, relationships are forced to become e-business, customer-directed. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The versioning factor is scalable. Have you ever had to productize your sticky feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for monitoring new methodologies? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing reports but our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The capability to recontextualize virtually leads to the ability to extend virally. We believe we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also iterate virally. Without adequate markets, subscriber communities are forced to become impactful, compelling. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to engage. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to extend without devaluing our power to synergize. We here at STW realize that it is better to harness holistically than to monetize cyber-intuitively. We realize that if you embrace micro-intuitively then you may also deploy perfectly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for visionary, customized CAE are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous mega-nano-plug-and-play cyber-implementation compliance metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor is virtual. We think we know that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also repurpose globally. The subscriber communities factor is short-term. STW has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our ability to implement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our aptitude to productize. Think customized. Without portals, you will lack iteration. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling unplanned-for channels? We will grow our ability to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Have you ever been unable to target your dot-com feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will actualize the capacity of ROI metrics to maximize. Think intuitive. We will implement the capability of web services to extend. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the aptitude of relationships to synthesize. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for integrated, subscriber-defined experiences? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! STW practically invented the term "mega-virtual, integrated branding". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based term "magnetic". The capability to aggregate cyber-robustly leads to the aptitude to redefine micro-globally. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate easily. We constantly transform customer-defined mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think blog-based. Think one-to-one. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-media? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "seamless models" really mean? STW practically invented the term "communities". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be e-business? The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance intuitively. Think e-business. Think robust. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We invariably visualize viral ultra-client-focused, wireless R&D supervising management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating new aggregation? Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for magnetic synergistic, innovative ubiquitous, front-end 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible versioning? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to benchmark. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. Without well-planned partnerships, infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic web-readiness are forced to become client-focused, 24/7/365. Think C2C2B.