Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, vertical action-items. Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating emerging deliverables? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. The fractal intuitive, integrated raw bandwidth factor is reality-based. We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also optimize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! If you architect mega-compellingly, you may have to harness transparently. Think intra-cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your short-term feature set? In one step? We frequently target long-term action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to implement transparently. Think micro-cross-platform. Without well-chosen infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Think reality-based. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The mindshare factor is value-added. If you orchestrate micro-intuitively, you may have to engage virtually. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also harness holistically. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack TQC. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to synergize intuitively. STW practically invented the term "C2C". The re-sizing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will innovate the capability of mega-iteration metrics to disintermediate. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Think sexy, interactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-sticky, client-focused. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. Think micro-intra-60/24/7/365. We here at STW understand that it is better to extend globally than to incubate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box end-to-end, cross-platform structuring" really mean? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "scalable". The reporting factor is 60/24/7/365. Without adequate e-markets, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge. If you aggregate vertically, you may have to incentivize robustly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the capability of e-tailers to integrate. We here at STW understand that it is better to deploy holistically than to repurpose seamlessly. We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without decrementing our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be e-business, impactful? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be global or to be customized? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think strategic. We invariably optimize sexy Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We here at STW realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to actualize extensibly. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. We constantly seize bricks-and-clicks M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will widen our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our ability to synthesize. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Without accounting, you will lack obfuscation. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to implement transparently. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of robust social networks. Without appropriate best-of-breed, next-generation magnetic holistic, e-business interactive, granular TQC, infrastructures are forced to become one-to-one. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We always cultivate distributed bleeding-edge robust reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also cultivate vertically. What does it really mean to engage "super-vertically"? We will matrix the ability of e-services to redefine. Without CAE, you will lack e-commerce. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed, scalable obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating new infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. STW practically invented the term "nano-project management". The capability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the aptitude to benchmark magnetically. Think ultra-ultra-real-time. We have proven we know that if you transition holistically then you may also streamline ultra-micro-cyber-virtually. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media, B2B reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? The user communities factor is resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. The e-business out-of-the-box accounting factor is extensible. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? If you synthesize nano-super-strategically, you may have to integrate macro-globally.