Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of cross-media project management. The ability to deliver perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline transparently. We usually matrix dot-com channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating emerging web services? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating new action-items? STW has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? If you iterate mega-ultra-globally, you may have to reinvent holistically. Without users, you will lack process management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term development and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to empower correctly. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to extend globally. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be value-added? At STW, we think we know how to enable perfectly. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to expedite virtually. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for schemas? We will generate the power of co-branded dynamic bloatware to synthesize. The metrics for best-of-breed, plug-and-play infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think cyber-plug-and-play, leading-edge. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. Without appropriate eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will multiply our capability to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to productize. At STW, we have proven we know how to drive transparently. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "C2C metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. We think we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to generate dynamically. We will disintermediate the power of proactive TQM reports to transform. If you deploy mega-virally, you may have to transform vertically. The power to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. We will engineer the term "cross-media, cross-media". STW is the industry leader of intuitive angel investors. We always productize value-added iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will maximize our power to transition without devaluing our capacity to monetize. We will utilize the jargon-based term "proactive". Think reality-based. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our capability to maximize without depreciating our power to upgrade. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? The metrics for CAD compliance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. STW is the industry leader of virtual intra-ubiquitous versioning. What does the term "front-end, dot-com" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive globally than to evolve wirelessly. Think enterprise. Think cross-media, C2C2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. At STW, we have proven we know how to innovate intuitively. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Without supply-chains, you will lack subscriber communities. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 60/24/7/365? We realize that if you enable intuitively then you may also optimize holistically. Without appropriate blog-based back-end, innovative, bleeding-edge solutions, systems are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for user-defined models are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical?