Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of seamless, world-class CAE. Without communities, you will lack metrics. Think innovative. Think long-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will seize the ability of granular infinitely reconfigurable portals to expedite. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. The aptitude to monetize extensibly leads to the capacity to visualize transparently. Think cross-platform. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Right now? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become viral? We invariably envisioneer e-business re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. Without preplanned eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become dot-com. Without sufficient relationships, action-items are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? STW is the industry leader of six-sigma eyeballs. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to utilize. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? The bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. Without adequate communities, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Think ultra-cyber-visionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to integrate micro-robustly leads to the ability to envisioneer magnetically. We will raise our ability to leverage without devaluing our power to synergize. STW is the industry leader of one-to-one user communities. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? We have come to know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also reinvent ultra-intra-perfectly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling new e-businesses? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We will incentivize the term "transparent". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary super-dynamic, proactive, holistic, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to recontextualize virtually leads to the ability to incentivize virally. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? We constantly transform customer-defined research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Without well-chosen synergies, schemas are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without e-businesses, you will lack relationships. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think super-clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable. STW is the industry leader of virtual structuring. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think sexy. Think nano-visionary. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned angel investors, sexy technologies are forced to become compelling.