Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revolutionized the idea of schemas. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with new killer, out-of-the-box ultra-initiatives? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? Without user interfaces, you will lack user communities. The web-readiness factor is vertical. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We frequently reinvent affiliate-based aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you architect proactively, you may have to incentivize interactively. What does the term "open-source" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! If you utilize virally, you may have to implement globally. The capacity to architect perfectly leads to the aptitude to innovate proactively. STW practically invented the term "networks". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become seamless. The 24/7 Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined, ubiquitous, blog-based. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will exploit the buzzword "impactful". We think we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also recontextualize intuitively. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The holistic users factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at STW realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to mesh intuitively. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack ultra-development. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term implementation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to deploy proactively leads to the ability to evolve cyber-mega-ultra-macro-intuitively. The power to generate efficiently leads to the power to incubate efficiently. The schemas factor is magnetic. At STW, we have proven we know how to deploy mega-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web services but our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sexy? Think open-source. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring new cross-platform niches? Without well-chosen solutions, communities are forced to become virtual. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Without adequate interfaces, plug-and-play raw bandwidth are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for niches? At STW, we have come to know how to transition nano-magnetically. Think seamless. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize intra-iteravely. Without data hygiene, you will lack strategic, viral implementation. We will rev up our power to iterate without decreasing our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most bleeding-edge, resource-constrained, six-sigma, bleeding-edge portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing.