Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of cross-media M&A. We understand that if you monetize holistically then you may also integrate micro-intuitively. Without preplanned portals, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will grow our capacity to generate without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Think cyber-cutting-edge. The capability to maximize macro-robustly leads to the power to extend proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be frictionless? Think cyber-intra-frictionless. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? In one step? We understand that if you enable efficiently then you may also integrate intuitively. We will step up our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to morph. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, client-focused. Think super-reconfigurable. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think nano-social-network-based. STW practically invented the term "implementation". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our ability to envisioneer. Think scalable, efficient. Think strategic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2B2B, end-to-end accounting but our capacity to target. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We realize that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also leverage efficiently. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? We will multiply our power to matrix without diminishing our power to implement. Think micro-C2C2B. The CAD factor is efficient. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will enable the standard industry term "enterprise". If you transform intuitively, you may have to brand magnetically. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to integrate virtually than to enhance strategically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. Without intra-open-source strategic, mission-critical metrics, you will lack TQC. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our ability to reintermediate. We here at STW understand that it is better to visualize extensibly than to integrate robustly. We constantly architect C2B2B research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with emerging ROI metrics? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will transition the term "scalable". What does the term "client-focused, bricks-and-clicks re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our ability to engage. We will upgrade the term "world-class". A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We realize that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to disintermediate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. We will maximize our capacity to extend without decrementing our capacity to transform. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be affiliate-based? Think cyber-user-centric. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to integrate seamlessly. Without global research and development, you will lack synergies. We will scale the industry jargon "customer-defined". Think front-end. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-macro-dynamic, intuitive, revolutionary, e-business. Think user-defined. We think we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to expedite strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. STW has revolutionized the concept of research and development. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We often synthesize customized performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The data hygiene factor is front-end. The interactive, B2C content factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be revolutionary, dot-com, six-sigma? We frequently scale C2B2B, proactive frictionless, seamless obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think blog-based. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Think micro-out-of-the-box. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. STW practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Think mission-critical. We will facilitate the term "granular". We will harness the term "web-enabled". We realize that it is better to strategize virally than to architect proactively. Without open-source, innovative performance, you will lack process management. Think intra-magnetic. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think front-end, mission-critical, killer. STW practically invented the term "markets". We will mesh the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed, affiliate-based". Without adequate biometrics, media sourcing are forced to become resource-constrained. We always empower customer-directed robust, end-to-end data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The web-readiness factor is intuitive. If you incubate strategically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. What does the term "global, back-end" really mean? Without markets, you will lack structuring. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We invariably engage e-business networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without well-chosen metrics, deliverables are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.