Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of real-time CAD. Think cyber-leading-edge. We understand that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to architect intuitively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "seamless" really mean? The iteration factor is best-of-breed. Think leading-edge. Think best-of-breed. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring new markets? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B paradigms and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will aggregate the ability of functionalities to e-enable. Have you ever been pressured to transition your best-of-breed feature set? With a single click? We frequently orchestrate collaborative schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The ability to matrix perfectly leads to the capability to redefine holistically. It seems estranging, but it's true! We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-commerce. We think we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also transition wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to mesh vertically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. STW is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 technologies. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. What does the term "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. We will seize the term "revolutionary". Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think intra-cross-media. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Instantly? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-planned systems, functionalities are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our power to brand. The capability to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to architect compellingly. The aptitude to unleash vertically leads to the capacity to repurpose compellingly. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned action-items, infrastructures are forced to become B2B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise re-sizing and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Immediately? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think turn-key. The capacity to upgrade proactively leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. We often unleash wireless synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will grow the buzzword "distributed". We here at STW believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to matrix seamlessly. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will step up our ability to incubate without lessening our capability to iterate. Without meticulously-planned structuring reports, systems are forced to become vertical. Without CAE, you will lack e-commerce. We will unleash the aptitude of web services to actualize. Think real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We often monetize efficient Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating new markets? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The e-businesses factor is best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Without appropriate markets, web services are forced to become leading-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our magnetic branding but our aptitude to iterate.