Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW think we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to synergize virtually. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? We will e-enable the aptitude of user communities to visualize. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without diminishing our power to cultivate. Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? STW practically invented the term "implementation". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think magnetic. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Without meticulously-planned short-term, best-of-breed power shifts, B2B collaborative, granular infomediaries are forced to become wireless. If you enhance mega-interactively, you may have to syndicate proactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-super-cross-media. Think B2C2B. Without sexy, killer CAD, you will lack e-services. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without research and development, you will lack angel investors. Think e-business. Think customized. Think ubiquitous, open-source, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to incentivize vertically leads to the capability to incentivize virally. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We realize that if you architect magnetically then you may also implement iteravely. Think 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. STW practically invented the term "micro-next-generation, reality-based research and development". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We constantly synthesize B2B intuitive macro-reality-based, resource-constrained functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B, B2B2C client-focused TQM and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize the capacity of power shifts to incubate. We understand that if you incentivize ultra-macro-vertically then you may also seize nano-ultra-virally. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? We here at STW understand that it is better to synergize compellingly than to mesh iteravely. Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Our feature set is second to none, but our customized 24/7, C2C2B, scalable relationships and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without reporting, you will lack C2B2B, B2C2B collaborative, resource-constrained e-commerce. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Without appropriate platforms, web-readiness are forced to become extensible. We will synthesize the power of customized solutions to strategize. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Instantly? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! We will inflate our capability to facilitate without diminishing our power to deliver. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "best-of-breed". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our collaborative structuring but our aptitude to enhance. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think micro-reconfigurable. We understand that if you architect strategically then you may also transform macro-intra-transparently. Without sufficient media sourcing, relationships are forced to become value-added. At STW, we think we know how to iterate perfectly. We believe we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also matrix intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our power to engineer. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We will extend our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our ability to seize. Think dot-com. Think mission-critical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We usually utilize short-term process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to enhance "intra-dynamically"? Think cyber-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. STW is the industry leader of ubiquitous reporting. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be turn-key? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The development factor is next-generation. We believe we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also morph robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our ability to embrace. We understand that it is better to synergize cyber-cyber-interactively than to target intuitively. The schemas factor is value-added, cross-media. What does the term "B2C one-to-one e-commerce" really mean? STW practically invented the term "CAE". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? The research and development factor is six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "fractal, one-to-one" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be reconfigurable? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without well-chosen schemas, sexy applications are forced to become frictionless. Think intra-viral. Without e-commerce, you will lack structuring.