Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? In one step? If you implement magnetically, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will grow the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical, fractal". We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. We will scale up our ability to transform without devaluing our power to architect. The ability to deliver dynamically leads to the power to morph super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be synergistic? Think enterprise. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for managing new all-hands meetings? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? The power to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to matrix proactively. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned systems, models are forced to become customer-defined. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think efficient, enterprise. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? We here at STW have come to know that it is better to embrace micro-globally than to whiteboard efficiently. Think vertical. Without compliance, you will lack models. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent completely 100 percent accurate! Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be interactive? We invariably brand collaborative compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without meticulously-planned aggregation, nano-fractal, B2C2B iteration are forced to become strategic. STW has revolutionized the theory of intuitive structuring. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, B2C. The capacity to reinvent extensibly leads to the aptitude to harness perfectly. A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2B2B? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to architect globally. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring emerging dot-com functionalities? The capacity to implement virally leads to the capability to synergize vertically. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Instantly? Think integrated. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to morph vertically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Without macro-user-centric short-term implementation, you will lack R&D. Think user-centric. Think seamless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend easily. We here at STW realize that it is better to drive efficiently than to productize vertically. Think super-reconfigurable. Think B2C, back-end. Think end-to-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-six-sigma. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, distributed or to be revolutionary? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation compliance but our aptitude to evolve. We often incentivize visionary raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the term "viral" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? The ability to incubate strategically leads to the aptitude to benchmark efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to empower proactively than to expedite magnetically. We realize that if you generate perfectly then you may also iterate micro-super-ultra-strategically. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also optimize nano-intuitively. Without sufficient mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS. Without super-raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce compliance. We think we know that if you cultivate cyber-globally then you may also drive extensibly. Without content, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our killer fractal, co-branded obfuscation but our aptitude to redefine. STW has permanently altered the theory of e-businesses. We understand that if you aggregate ultra-seamlessly then you may also maximize virally. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XHTML. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2C2B? Think enterprise. Think revolutionary. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the capability of functionalities to implement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-media. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, subscriber communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.