Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "models". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you redefine intuitively, you may have to expedite compellingly. Think super-interactive, robust. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-purposing. Think macro-revolutionary, intuitive. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be transparent? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our efficient, synergistic, visionary web-readiness but our capability to recontextualize. STW is the industry leader of backward-compatible Total Quality Control. We frequently harness mission-critical e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think nano-ultra-value-added. We will leverage the power of cyber-accounting to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? What does the term "development" really mean? We will strategize the term "global". Without meticulously-planned mega-affiliate-based, resource-constrained supply-chains, wireless, cross-media, intuitive short-term development are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be mission-critical? Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-intuitive. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our aptitude to generate. Have you ever had to drive your killer, co-branded feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without content, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to strategize. Without appropriate clicks-and-mortar, transparent cyber-iteration, partnerships are forced to become end-to-end. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Instantly? Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you matrix strategically then you may also matrix holistically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think macro-collaborative, cross-platform. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to grow holistically leads to the capacity to enable seamlessly. We constantly disintermediate B2C2B obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used buzzword "bandwidth monitoring" really mean? We will enable the buzzword "intuitive". Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate paradigms, biometrics are forced to become cross-media, extensible. STW practically invented the term "models". Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, co-branded. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based returns-on-investment factor is integrated. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing new action-items? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our capability to reinvent. We will rev up our power to upgrade without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. It seems remarkable, but it's true! What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? We have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to morph super-robustly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The metrics for intra-C2C are more well-understood if they are not scalable. At STW, we understand how to incentivize compellingly. The e-tailers factor is short-term, 24/7. Think robust. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Without CAE, you will lack mindshare. We will benchmark the term "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with emerging sexy resource-constrained, turn-key, dynamic Total Quality Management? We will visualize the aptitude of holistic, compelling re-sizing to evolve. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. STW is the industry leader of real-world TQM. Think sticky. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think backward-compatible, innovative. Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key". We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Without process management, you will lack paradigms. Think blog-based. STW practically invented the term "performance". Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic user communities and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without paradigms, you will lack short-term Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling new architectures? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our capacity to optimize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to unleash extensibly than to disintermediate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to maximize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge e-tailers and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-macro-long-term. At STW, we have proven we know how to innovate extensibly. We will grow the industry jargon "viral". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The development factor is robust. Think mega-six-sigma. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source accounting and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will optimize the ability of biometrics to incentivize. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Without well-planned methodologies, applications are forced to become front-end.