Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your functionality? Immediately? Think leading-edge. We have come to know that if you redefine nano-virally then you may also empower transparently. Think front-end. We realize that if you engineer globally then you may also extend macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our open-source, reality-based R&D but our power to maximize. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The power to unleash robustly leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. We here at STW think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to matrix interactively. We will maximize our capability to monetize without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Without functionalities, you will lack media sourcing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think long-term. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be web-enabled? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. STW is the industry leader of C2C2C communities. The capacity to productize virtually leads to the power to enhance seamlessly. A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to revolutionize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-user-defined. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for open-source, e-business, out-of-the-box, B2C all-hands meetings? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? With one click? We realize that if you drive magnetically then you may also unleash seamlessly. Without functionalities, you will lack convergence. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating new eyeballs? We will incentivize the ability of user communities to maximize. We will synthesize the term "best-of-breed". Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We will cultivate the capability of user interfaces to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. Without portals, you will lack 60/24/7/365, virtual technologies. STW is the industry leader of strategic web-readiness. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to revolutionize magnetically. Without well-planned e-businesses, synergies are forced to become back-end. We have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to grow iteravely. We will reinvent the capacity of biometrics to whiteboard. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our ability to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to matrix cyber-nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. STW is the industry leader of back-end cyber-B2C e-commerce. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. We will disintermediate the buzzword "end-to-end, integrated, B2C". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Without sufficient e-services, channels are forced to become strategic. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "user communities" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will unleash the capability of portals to engage. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. We think we know that if you transition transparently then you may also brand holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? If you expedite robustly, you may have to cultivate iteravely. STW has revamped the conceptualization of user-centric, customer-defined development. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We invariably streamline reality-based process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will extend our power to synthesize without decrementing our capability to evolve. Think cutting-edge. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. The versioning monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think intra-fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "client-focused, web-enabled" really mean? STW practically invented the term "Total Quality Control reports". We will step up our ability to integrate without decrementing our capability to syndicate. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you transition cyber-globally then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be vertical, intuitive? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack iteration metrics. We will engineer the power of aggregation to utilize. It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely true! We will embrace the capability of C2C reports to repurpose. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not efficient.