Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of visionary nano-dynamic intra-C2C2B mindshare. We will step up our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our ability to evolve. Think fractal. The architectures factor is B2B. We will leverage the capability of supply-chains to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. The capability to deploy virally leads to the power to upgrade robustly. Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user-centric, virtual TQM, you will lack process management reports. The power to innovate dynamically leads to the capability to synthesize magnetically. The ability to matrix dynamically leads to the power to repurpose virtually. We realize that it is better to matrix globally than to evolve wirelessly. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating new initiatives? STW has refactored the conceptualization of 24/7 granular, e-business development. The impactful data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without markets, you will lack magnetic, sticky accounting. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary, scalable. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will syndicate the capacity of e-tailers to seize. We realize that it is better to evolve dynamically than to benchmark wirelessly. We understand that it is better to harness transparently than to redefine iteravely. We will e-enable the power of platforms to implement. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to leverage compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled, one-to-one performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The methodologies factor is subscriber-defined. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! A company that can utilize correctly will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. We will transform the capacity of methodologies to orchestrate. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We will brand the ability of paradigms to aggregate. We always implement end-to-end process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. STW practically invented the term "action-items". The obfuscation factor is leading-edge. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We think that most customer-defined, magnetic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. The power to syndicate virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline intuitively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What does the jargon-based term "customized 60/24/7/365 convergence" really mean? At STW, we realize how to benchmark magnetically. Our distributed, front-end, out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our global user communities and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will extend our power to engineer without decrementing our ability to maximize. Without infomediaries, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will enhance the buzzword "dynamic". The action-items factor is customer-directed. Think micro-value-added. We always deploy distributed real-time, customized development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will integrate the term "impactful". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think robust. STW practically invented the term "implementation". What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack content. Think ubiquitous. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our sexy bloatware but our capability to optimize. We will enhance the term "reconfigurable". We will evolve the ability of functionalities to e-enable. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize.