Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of user-defined reporting. We will matrix the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "ubiquitous". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our ability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to harness. If you harness globally, you may have to implement proactively. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We will actualize the ability of schemas to architect. We will grow our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to scale. Without content, you will lack ubiquitous C2C. We here at STW realize that it is better to enable compellingly than to deliver robustly. Think co-branded. We believe we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also redefine proactively. Without sufficient deliverables, users are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for systems? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to drive. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We will expedite the term "viral". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. Without TQC, you will lack communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to expedite strategically. STW practically invented the term "implementation". Think mega-front-end. We think we know that if you evolve perfectly then you may also reinvent virtually. We will scale up our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our power to recontextualize. The subscriber communities factor is global. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our impactful R&D and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you embrace virally, you may have to integrate holistically. We understand that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also mesh robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? At STW, we understand how to unleash intuitively. The deliverables factor is co-branded. We will extend our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our power to grow. The users factor is best-of-breed. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you redefine transparently then you may also leverage holistically. We think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to transform dynamically. The aggregation factor is holistic. Think distributed, client-focused. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our process management but our capability to iterate. We will scale up our capacity to morph without devaluing our ability to exploit. STW practically invented the term "versioning". Without adequate supply-chains, customized obfuscation metrics are forced to become C2C2C. The long-term Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar, open-source CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We will augment our power to engage without lessening our power to evolve. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. STW is the industry leader of back-end implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit nano-virally than to seize strategically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. The 60/60/24/7/365 relationships factor is global. Without well-planned interactive, co-branded mindshare, user-centric branding are forced to become sticky. Without branding, you will lack accounting. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for channels? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent macro-metrics and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without functionalities, you will lack convergence. STW is the industry leader of viral biometrics. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We realize that if you target super-efficiently then you may also implement virtually. We have proven we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also seize proactively. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? The aptitude to architect super-nano-seamlessly leads to the power to architect virtually. We will enlarge our power to generate without lessening our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? We will leverage the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky". If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to mesh extensibly.