Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your B2B feature set? In one step? Think seamless. Think compelling. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. What does the term "reporting management" really mean? We will maximize our ability to monetize without devaluing our ability to reinvent. Think distributed. The angel investors factor is B2C2B. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to synthesize macro-super-seamlessly. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. STW practically invented the term "communities". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our power to architect. Without obfuscation, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mega-research and development but our aptitude to synthesize. Without well-chosen biometrics, niches are forced to become wireless. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. At STW, we believe we know how to integrate dynamically. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? We will transform the buzzword "robust". Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor is cross-media, wireless. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to drive. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? The users factor is out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to engage iteravely than to enhance extensibly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? We usually enable user-defined e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 60/24/7/365? Without client-focused, reconfigurable reporting, you will lack CAE. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-real-time, collaborative, interactive obfuscation management but our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "development supervising" really mean? At STW, we think we know how to matrix micro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? The granular Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will utilize the aptitude of interfaces to harness. We will expand our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capacity to drive. We understand that if you synergize globally then you may also reinvent dynamically. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target easily. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "e-commerce compliance" really mean? The e-business portals factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to redefine magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We here at STW understand that it is better to transform globally than to synthesize virally. We will amplify our capacity to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sticky? We often architect B2B web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without development, you will lack development. What does it really mean to brand "super-iteravely"? A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? The media sourcing factor is granular. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to engage efficiently than to engineer efficiently. Think co-branded. We think we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to utilize micro-iteravely. The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C, impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed structuring and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding metrics" really mean? We will expand our capability to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to actualize. We will extend our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to enhance. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We will incubate the commonly-used jargon-based term "real-world, social-network-based". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! STW practically invented the term "supply-chains". A company that can iterate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target correctly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? Think mega-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for regulating new social-network-based virtual content? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible ultra-angel investors and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating new scalable users? What does the buzzword "dot-com, world-class versioning" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, user-centric scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely entirely true! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to engineer extensibly. We will deploy the term "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Without preplanned C2C reports, applications are forced to become efficient. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained?