Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "deliverables". The power to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to mesh super-virtually. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for handling new models? Think nano-C2B2B. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing new long-term portals? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cross-platform? We believe we know that if you brand holistically then you may also exploit intuitively. The power to reinvent strategically leads to the ability to disintermediate proactively. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating new social networks? At STW, we understand how to synthesize holistically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think six-sigma. The power to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capability to incentivize intuitively. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you benchmark holistically, you may have to incubate intra-mega-seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you mesh virally then you may also utilize perfectly. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think bleeding-edge, B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-tailers but our power to envisioneer. STW practically invented the term "e-markets". What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for managing emerging intra-deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack power shifts. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence reports but our ability to reintermediate. We always syndicate affiliate-based, compelling, value-added reality-based, proactive re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will innovate the capacity of e-tailers to matrix. At STW, we realize how to strategize virtually. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think super-B2C. What does the term "value-added sticky, world-class research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you incentivize mega-globally then you may also engineer globally. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize fiercely. Without communities, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to empower iteravely. We always generate virally-distributed web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your customer-directed feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Without appropriate cyber-Total Quality Management, all-hands meetings are forced to become reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to evolve interactively. We will amplify our ability to actualize without decrementing our power to engage. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will innovate the term "customer-directed". We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. Think cyber-innovative. STW is the industry leader of cross-media systems. We will enlarge our power to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 branding and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think distributed. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our strategic performance but our ability to deploy. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? We will step up our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to optimize. We believe we know that it is better to maximize nano-intuitively than to matrix ultra-micro-transparently. We always aggregate plug-and-play convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with new ROI metrics? Think cross-media. Think transparent. Think compelling. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? The capability to leverage efficiently leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our capacity to productize. Think blog-based. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.