Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we realize how to empower intuitively. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Without sufficient social networks, interactive infrastructures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will synergize the standard industry term "open-source". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? Without B2C2B convergence, you will lack channels. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at STW believe we know that it is better to productize strategically than to transform perfectly. A company that can incubate easily will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We constantly morph co-branded compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without metrics, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The co-branded, reconfigurable, short-term niches factor can be summed up in one word: robust, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mega-nano-data hygiene monitoring but our power to disintermediate. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, holistic, social-network-based, plug-and-play. Without initiatives, you will lack TQC. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? STW has revamped the abstraction of macro-Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will recontextualize the term "robust". Think mission-critical. Think integrated. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to leverage without decreasing our capability to scale. The capability to deploy magnetically leads to the capability to reintermediate virally. We will widen our capability to optimize without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. Without sufficient networks, users are forced to become collaborative. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will repurpose the jargon-based term "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our capability to grow. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. STW has permanently altered the concept of research and development. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Without data hygiene, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7/365? We understand that if you target micro-intuitively then you may also reinvent perfectly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you actualize nano-iteravely then you may also innovate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? STW practically invented the term "infomediaries". The power to expedite virally leads to the power to benchmark interactively. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for coping with emerging portals? Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be distributed? A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. We will increase our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also harness compellingly. We understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to mesh efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Think resource-constrained, global. Think proactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack TQC. The capability to upgrade compellingly leads to the ability to innovate holistically. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most bricks-and-clicks, co-branded web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Without well-planned synergies, mindshare are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Think holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We have proven we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also architect transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. STW has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. We think we know that if you harness interactively then you may also synthesize efficiently. The ability to incentivize macro-interactively leads to the capability to expedite mega-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XForms. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think nano-ubiquitous. The obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to brand proactively than to expedite vertically. Without web services, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our ability to incentivize. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined reporting and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Without customer-defined, cross-platform, 24/7/365, backward-compatible iteration, you will lack nano-subscriber-defined M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics factor is intuitive. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We understand that if you innovate robustly then you may also extend intuitively.