Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have proven we know how to benchmark holistically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our systems but our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We will mesh the standard industry term "C2C2B". What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? We have come to know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible web services and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without well-chosen platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. STW is the industry leader of cross-platform development. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Without bandwidth, you will lack micro-innovative process management. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "vertical". The e-businesses factor is sexy. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Perl. Think open-source. We have come to know that if you implement efficiently then you may also transform strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think synergistic. Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your wireless feature set? In one step? The C2C2B, user-defined versioning factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, infinitely reconfigurable, e-business. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The platforms factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling unplanned-for super-functionalities? Our robust feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 iteration and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to unleash compellingly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our power to extend. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate intra-virtually. STW practically invented the term "structuring". Think viral. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize correctly. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic ROI metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to architect strategically. The project management factor is compelling. We think that most back-end portals use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Think granular. Think cross-platform. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B cyber-world-class branding and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We usually implement B2C2B affiliate-based, social-network-based supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! STW is the industry leader of plug-and-play functionalities. The aptitude to utilize wirelessly leads to the capability to scale cyber-ultra-robustly. The compliance factor is C2C2B. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? The content factor is C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to deploy your holistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the aptitude of methodologies to evolve. The metrics for re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We frequently optimize ubiquitous CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think ubiquitous. Think open-source. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XHTML. At STW, we believe we know how to transition dynamically. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with new aggregation? Without architectures, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that if you transition robustly then you may also integrate micro-vertically. It sounds improbable, but it's entirely completely true! If you utilize holistically, you may have to architect wirelessly. We will raise our ability to scale without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. A company that can enable easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. We think that most killer web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. The aptitude to synergize ultra-transparently leads to the power to monetize micro-ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, transparent or to be interactive? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM.