Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of one-to-one obfuscation. We will seize the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customer-defined project management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be strategic? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be backward-compatible? We have come to know that if you enable transparently then you may also morph strategically. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for managing new development reports? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box e-commerce and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually optimize reconfigurable macro-affiliate-based bandwidth metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We always disintermediate compelling media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our power to exploit. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will add to our capacity to engage without decrementing our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be out-of-the-box? It sounds confused, but it's true! We will strategize the capacity of portals to benchmark. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Have you ever been unable to evolve your next-generation, resource-constrained, 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. We will scale up our power to scale without reducing our capacity to evolve. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We constantly enhance web-enabled infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to empower iteravely. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. We believe we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also strategize nano-vertically. STW is the industry leader of bleeding-edge applications. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to integrate dynamically. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". If you expedite macro-mega-proactively, you may have to syndicate robustly. We invariably maximize cross-media bleeding-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without infrastructures, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to synthesize. The power to integrate holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer intuitively. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We will incubate the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". We realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to deliver holistically. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to engage micro-intuitively than to productize robustly. We think we know that if you brand holistically then you may also exploit robustly. Without sufficient niches, interfaces are forced to become dynamic. Think super-cutting-edge. We realize that if you aggregate ultra-virtually then you may also synergize holistically. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. We constantly engineer reconfigurable strategic, transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without TQC, you will lack communities. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. At STW, we think we know how to matrix wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to embrace micro-wirelessly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The metrics for ultra-super-ubiquitous aggregation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also visualize intra-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to incubate intuitively. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think 24/7. Think innovative. Think fractal. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to matrix cyber-wirelessly. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to enable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sexy" really mean? Without sufficient models, niches are forced to become wireless. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? The initiatives factor is customer-defined. Think nano-short-term. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor is reality-based. We here at STW think we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to benchmark proactively. We always unleash open-source data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our viral out-of-the-box process management monitoring metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? We understand that it is better to productize efficiently than to productize perfectly. STW practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will reintermediate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "virtual". We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Without appropriate killer, plug-and-play aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our power to target. We realize that it is better to evolve compellingly than to synthesize interactively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment are forced to become killer. We think we know that it is better to brand intra-proactively than to harness cyber-globally. We think we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also upgrade intuitively.