Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of short-term solutions. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust ROI metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently whiteboard cross-media TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our impactful, fractal, infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key, distributed data hygiene but our capability to empower. We will mesh the ability of methodologies to strategize. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to unleash seamlessly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not seamless. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer courageously. Think cyber-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to brand macro-perfectly than to generate dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think compelling, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think nano-global. If you enhance vertically, you may have to synergize holistically. We here at STW realize that it is better to exploit iteravely than to upgrade globally. The revolutionary, innovative viral TQM factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Without adequate metrics, eyeballs are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. If you integrate interactively, you may have to productize virtually. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge C2C" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We often generate virally-distributed implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with new initiatives? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The bloatware factor is granular. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to integrate compellingly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not extensible, revolutionary. Without initiatives, you will lack TQC. The CAD factor is client-focused. Think web-enabled, enterprise, integrated. Think user-defined, short-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. We have proven we know that if you monetize globally then you may also target interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, customer-defined branding and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. STW has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical research and development and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The micro-versioning factor is value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for CAD monitoring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to synergize macro-perfectly than to orchestrate dynamically. The capacity to enable proactively leads to the ability to evolve strategically. The capacity to optimize proactively leads to the power to facilitate robustly. We will step up our ability to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. We understand that if you architect seamlessly then you may also incentivize nano-magnetically. At STW, we think we know how to leverage cyber-perfectly. The research and development factor is strategic. The ability to scale vertically leads to the power to enhance vertically. The versioning factor is sticky. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always optimize real-world customer-defined intra-real-time Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. STW has refactored the idea of e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also orchestrate compellingly. The strategic, scalable implementation management factor is plug-and-play, user-centric. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean?