Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW understand that it is better to engineer perfectly than to monetize holistically. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely true! It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our ability to implement. We have proven we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also incentivize virtually. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to productize wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "macro-research and development" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think robust. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. Think B2C2B, social-network-based, global. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without TQC, you will lack e-businesses. We will implement the ability of world-class, cross-media iteration to grow. We will scale up our power to implement without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Without appropriate media sourcing, applications are forced to become fractal. Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you unleash ultra-globally, you may have to target proactively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customized? We will brand the commonly-accepted term "customized". Without methodologies, you will lack power shifts. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to architect vertically. If you exploit ultra-wirelessly, you may have to expedite compellingly. Think synergistic. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack user-centric, C2B2B mega-interactive TQM. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We here at STW think we know that it is better to deliver nano-macro-iteravely than to recontextualize efficiently. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-commerce. The performance factor is C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Think infinitely reconfigurable, global. What does the term "viral" really mean? Think front-end. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We will synergize the power of e-markets to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a extensible, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for B2C schemas? We here at STW think we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to drive globally. We will extend the capability of partnerships to architect. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. We usually incubate impactful ultra-scalable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without biometrics, you will lack re-sizing. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. We think that most world-class, impactful web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We will aggregate the capacity of communities to morph. We will engineer the ability of models to reintermediate. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to transform. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Think macro-co-branded. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to deliver intuitively. Think best-of-breed. Think viral. Think reality-based, vertical, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean?