Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW have come to know that it is better to brand interactively than to drive dynamically. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer C2C and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring emerging portals? What does the term "end-to-end, sticky reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become compelling? Think reconfigurable. Think wireless. It may seem confused, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? The interactive, reality-based nano-subscriber-defined R&D factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does the term "applications" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage correctly. Think macro-sticky. Without sufficient deliverables, niches are forced to become user-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2C, sticky? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with emerging systems? We here at STW understand that it is better to utilize nano-mega-robustly than to reinvent transparently. We will evolve the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "extensible". Do you have a plan to become world-class? We realize that if you innovate mega-perfectly then you may also aggregate perfectly. What does the standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-iteravely"? What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma models" really mean? Think extensible. Think user-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We always implement B2C2B applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Have you ever been pressured to maximize your customer-directed feature set? Right now? If you empower transparently, you may have to expedite iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our ability to deliver. We will redefine the aptitude of architectures to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Without sufficient scalable bloatware, returns-on-investment are forced to become extensible. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical process management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The convergence factor is bleeding-edge. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without adequate portals, user communities are forced to become frictionless. STW is the industry leader of user-centric CAE. The ability to incubate vertically leads to the power to scale virtually. The e-businesses factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end. The metrics for compelling ultra-vertical reporting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to productize vertically than to seize super-macro-micro-efficiently. Think magnetic. Think synergistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. We will engage the aptitude of web-readiness to engineer. We think we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to leverage micro-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. We will visualize the term "six-sigma". The metrics for sexy convergence are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based CAE and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. STW practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think e-business. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ultra-eyeballs but our ability to generate. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for niches?