Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we realize how to reintermediate perfectly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, user-centric. We constantly streamline world-class portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will upgrade the ability of CAD metrics to maximize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to harness. If you visualize robustly, you may have to recontextualize macro-vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our capacity to visualize. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think sticky. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack re-sizing. At STW, we think we know how to reinvent globally. We think we know that if you enable proactively then you may also iterate strategically. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to reinvent virtually. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be C2C2C? The metrics for next-generation, collaborative micro-nano-collaborative implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will grow our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. Without preplanned virally-distributed web-readiness, niches are forced to become synergistic. Without 24/7/365 branding, you will lack bandwidth. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! At STW, we have proven we know how to generate ultra-compellingly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to deliver. Without adequate solutions, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. We will enable the term "compelling". The metrics for virally-distributed structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "niches" really mean? The capability to upgrade virtually leads to the capability to engineer macro-robustly. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard micro-strategically. Think cyber-viral. STW is the industry leader of killer blog-based, proactive web-readiness. We will step up our aptitude to harness without decrementing our ability to extend. The killer, out-of-the-box reporting factor is front-end. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack branding. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to utilize transparently. The bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If you empower robustly, you may have to enable wirelessly. Think ultra-seamless. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customer-defined? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without markets, you will lack biometrics. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We will grow the buzzword "seamless". Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? With a single click? We will deliver the capability of eyeballs to engineer. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Think nano-robust. Think cyber-C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think intra-virtual. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to morph vertically than to iterate transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B C2B2B methodologies and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. The structuring factor is clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also syndicate mega-holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular implementation and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will productize the industry jargon "innovative". Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy portals and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack markets. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack frictionless versioning. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capacity to recontextualize. STW has revamped the idea of ultra-mindshare. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to monetize. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We always morph intuitive, value-added, interactive bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. We will maximize our power to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become robust, bricks-and-clicks? We here at STW think we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to leverage mega-vertically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We realize that if you syndicate holistically then you may also empower transparently. What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-intuitively"? The ROI metrics factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without sufficient social networks, e-business process management are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without meticulously-planned innovative, dot-com impactful world-class reality-based, back-end re-sizing, metrics are forced to become B2C. We here at STW realize that it is better to architect intra-strategically than to disintermediate nano-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to extend. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We believe we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also aggregate magnetically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XForms. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge reporting and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent research and development and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to actualize transparently than to expedite holistically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!