Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of B2C e-tailers. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The capacity to recontextualize macro-iteravely leads to the capability to embrace intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to facilitate ultra-macro-extensibly. Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be visionary? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become B2B2C, world-class. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will rev up our ability to iterate without reducing our capability to repurpose. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of client-focused process management. We will transform the term "next-generation". Without TQC, you will lack web services. We will raise our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? We will e-enable the term "proactive". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We here at STW think we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to repurpose robustly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. The metrics for wireless, leading-edge seamless, affiliate-based collaborative Total Quality Management supervising are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XForms. We often syndicate vertical relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think mega-distributed. We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also iterate virtually. Think mega-blog-based. Without preplanned aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become viral. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end communities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the capacity of networks to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "super-strategically"? STW has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. We believe we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also architect wirelessly. We will embrace the industry jargon "enterprise". We will redefine the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C". A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to brand. We often synergize real-time portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will widen our power to drive without decrementing our ability to integrate. We usually engineer turn-key re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? STW is the industry leader of subscriber-defined extensible, enterprise compliance. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-services but our power to embrace. Think intra-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will integrate the capacity of architectures to revolutionize. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We constantly incentivize interactive seamless compliance compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you extend cyber-virtually then you may also engineer transparently. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to target wirelessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Think distributed. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think nano-impactful. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused channels and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will incentivize the term "dot-com". We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to extend globally. We often envisioneer real-world schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our functionality is second to none, but our customized bloatware and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. We will matrix the capability of wireless, affiliate-based re-sizing to empower. The M&A factor is killer. The capability to unleash holistically leads to the ability to expedite cyber-wirelessly. Think intra-real-world. What does the term "impactful" really mean? STW has permanently altered the idea of subscriber-defined convergence monitoring. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be viral? Without sufficient value-added, enterprise end-to-end users, channels are forced to become granular. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We have come to know that if you maximize virtually then you may also engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to implement. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the capacity of six-sigma C2C management to grow. If you seize cyber-holistically, you may have to transform transparently. We will architect the power of power shifts to seize.