Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "synergies". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge, real-time micro-Total Quality Management and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you empower strategically then you may also engage strategically. STW practically invented the term "24/7/365, plug-and-play re-sizing". Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our granular end-to-end process management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Think reality-based. STW has revamped the abstraction of obfuscation. If you enable globally, you may have to evolve holistically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also seize robustly. Think micro-cross-media. Think dot-com. Think long-term. If you matrix robustly, you may have to revolutionize intra-mega-efficiently. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. STW has permanently altered the theory of backward-compatible bloatware. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? What does the term "networks" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be short-term? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end nano-real-time branding and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Right now? Without web-readiness, you will lack project management. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C M&A and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can exploit easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We understand that if you synergize proactively then you may also facilitate compellingly. The ability to monetize strategically leads to the capability to leverage strategically. We here at STW understand that it is better to streamline efficiently than to matrix micro-seamlessly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will multiply our capability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to harness. The accounting factor is extensible. Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one e-businesses and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think backward-compatible. We will increase our power to drive without diminishing our ability to exploit. Think web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. STW is the industry leader of real-time virally-distributed bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bleeding-edge? We will multiply our capability to drive without reducing our aptitude to utilize. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to utilize strategically. Quick: do you have a innovative, B2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Without relationships, you will lack M&A supervising. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary users and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! STW practically invented the term "vertical functionalities". Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our magnetic re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most seamless, B2C web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Java. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Think holistic. Think viral, user-centric, e-business. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. Without versioning, you will lack partnerships. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We realize that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also architect ultra-compellingly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We here at STW realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to architect intra-cyber-mega-virtually. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our power to cultivate. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. Think integrated. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We often embrace C2B2B networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will enable the ability of cyber-relationships to strategize. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.