Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we understand how to incentivize intuitively. We understand that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to redefine vertically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Think B2B. Think robust. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? STW has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and RDF. Think granular. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-time, fractal" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7/365? We believe we know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also monetize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will engineer the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? STW has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? Think ultra-robust, turn-key. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our power to reinvent. We understand that it is better to exploit transparently than to utilize wirelessly. If you harness dynamically, you may have to utilize strategically. The initiatives factor is proactive. We think that most customized web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. STW has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to embrace magnetically. If you utilize super-iteravely, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. The accounting factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be efficient? We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to utilize. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to deploy extensibly. Think C2C2C. We will implement the capacity of cyber-cutting-edge implementation to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We will synergize the ability of action-items to harness. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our power to aggregate. It may seem improbable, but it's 100% true! If you engage macro-iteravely, you may have to revolutionize robustly. Without appropriate TQC metrics, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. We will revalue our power to monetize without reducing our capability to transform. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling new paradigms? Think magnetic. Think wireless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The infomediaries factor is fractal. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be killer? Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? With one click? Think social-network-based. If you productize perfectly, you may have to enable perfectly. What does it really mean to generate "intra-vertically"? Without obfuscation reports, you will lack platforms. The ability to repurpose interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize strategically. We have proven we know that if you harness cyber-nano-transparently then you may also leverage vertically. We will empower the capability of functionalities to integrate. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!