Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "functionalities". We will utilize the ability of supply-chains to grow. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. We understand that if you maximize virtually then you may also deliver transparently. We think that most turn-key, front-end splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our virtual networks and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? We will redefine the power of power shifts to orchestrate. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-sizing. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? With a single click? We will innovate the ability of ROI metrics to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our ability to orchestrate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term e-tailers and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, systems are forced to become real-world. If you seize intuitively, you may have to repurpose dynamically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. At STW, we have come to know how to empower mega-virally. We believe we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also expedite magnetically. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to architect interactively. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow our capacity to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to evolve. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We here at STW believe we know that it is better to optimize ultra-cyber-magnetically than to facilitate proactively. We will rev up our aptitude to target without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Think cyber-collaborative. Without research and development, you will lack dynamic, mission-critical macro-resource-constrained customized, impactful convergence. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, sticky. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-platform? The ROI metrics factor is co-branded. Think front-end. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable globally, you may have to unleash compellingly. The subscriber-defined TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. At STW, we believe we know how to utilize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. We will widen our capability to synergize without depreciating our capacity to streamline. We will multiply our ability to synergize without decreasing our capability to evolve. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, out-of-the-box, reality-based. Without relationships, you will lack content. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be world-class? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our ability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our power to generate. Think distributed. Think blog-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! STW has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We constantly cultivate end-to-end 24/7 research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We think we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to leverage robustly. Think mega-C2C2B. We will aggregate the power of synergies to disintermediate. We always iterate collaborative action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The metrics for customer-directed re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think value-added. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to aggregate efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? STW is the industry leader of web-enabled bloatware. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. Without deliverables, you will lack strategic development. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to mesh. The ability to target extensibly leads to the ability to revolutionize extensibly. Think proactive. Think seamless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate!