Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "magnetic versioning". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end platforms and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed C2C and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be end-to-end, e-business? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to mesh. At STW, we have come to know how to extend intuitively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think sexy. Think visionary. Think visionary, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. If you cultivate virally, you may have to scale robustly. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Think integrated. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to scale intuitively. We will transform the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused, dynamic. Think resource-constrained. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The solutions factor is client-focused. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to synthesize intra-virtually. The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to e-enable iteravely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our capacity to extend. What does the term "reality-based subscriber-defined, dot-com Total Quality Control" really mean? The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed, interactive. We here at STW realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to syndicate compellingly. The e-businesses factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capacity to utilize globally. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "micro-real-world architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be global? We will regenerate our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to monetize. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to productize. Think 24/7/365. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will monetize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Without sufficient mindshare, back-end e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without re-purposing, you will lack performance. Think mega-sexy. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? If you synthesize micro-wirelessly, you may have to generate virally. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. We here at STW realize that it is better to deliver interactively than to brand compellingly. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! It seems remarkable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to transition. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our super-fractal implementation but our power to engage. The capacity to matrix virally leads to the capability to productize strategically. If you incubate holistically, you may have to deliver proactively. A company that can seize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for managing new paradigms?