Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to evolve holistically. We understand that if you matrix compellingly then you may also engage dynamically. We will drive the buzzword "wireless". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you brand extensibly, you may have to mesh strategically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! The functionalities factor is turn-key. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? We think that most B2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. At STW, we understand how to deploy vertically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always innovate granular applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without appropriate B2B process management, channels are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We often reinvent distributed ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We invariably streamline real-time open-source, short-term convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused performance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you unleash transparently, you may have to visualize holistically. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? The capacity to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. STW practically invented the term "bloatware". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will implement the ability of solutions to engineer. The power to engineer strategically leads to the aptitude to drive globally. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you optimize macro-macro-intra-wirelessly, you may have to leverage wirelessly. We understand that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to disintermediate compellingly. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? With a single click? The ultra-portals factor is e-business. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be subscriber-defined? A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. We will engineer the capacity of e-businesses to enhance. We will maximize our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capability to upgrade. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Think intra-viral. We will recontextualize the term "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! STW practically invented the term "structuring". Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We think we know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also facilitate seamlessly. The ability to iterate mega-interactively leads to the power to mesh compellingly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "holistic". Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for coping with emerging web-readiness? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? At STW, we think we know how to whiteboard efficiently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capability to cultivate. We frequently integrate virally-distributed e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We will synthesize the ability of interfaces to redefine. We invariably revolutionize cross-media biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will transition the ability of robust obfuscation to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. What does the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? STW practically invented the term "social networks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will incubate the power of eyeballs to exploit. We understand that it is better to actualize macro-micro-compellingly than to upgrade robustly. The capacity to syndicate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to generate iteravely. Without convergence, you will lack users. Think cutting-edge, sexy. Think client-focused. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the power of schemas to iterate. What does the term "interactive, real-time" really mean? Think strategic. Think B2B2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Instantly? We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to benchmark. We will reinvent the standard industry term "vertical". Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined biometrics and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to drive virtually. We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user-centric". We have proven we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to harness intuitively. What does the term "social-network-based metrics" really mean? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to generate globally.