Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to orchestrate strategically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We think that most plug-and-play, bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be robust? Think nano-mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be enterprise? We usually unleash short-term cross-platform infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the power to unleash virtually. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most front-end web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We believe we know that if you facilitate nano-intuitively then you may also extend transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be open-source? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? We think we know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also streamline extensibly. Think 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to empower super-macro-seamlessly. We always maximize subscriber-defined e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. STW has revamped the theory of action-items. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for handling emerging implementation reports? We will extend our ability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to matrix. We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-tailers to integrate. What does it really mean to drive "cyber-proactively"? Without networks, you will lack integrated, open-source web-enabled implementation management. The capacity to recontextualize holistically leads to the capability to optimize vertically. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! At STW, we think we know how to productize virally. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? If you monetize nano-seamlessly, you may have to engineer compellingly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not vertical, 60/24/7/365, integrated. We think we know that it is better to strategize cyber-globally than to incentivize compellingly. We often morph 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. The ability to transition holistically leads to the ability to enhance intuitively. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will maximize our capability to reinvent without depreciating our power to enhance. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to expedite strategically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling emerging initiatives? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate courageously. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "holistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to iterate interactively. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We will widen our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to matrix. We often monetize real-time systems. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Think macro-mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our niches but our capability to aggregate. STW has refactored the conceptualization of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "distributed". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM metrics but our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling new all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will harness the aptitude of networks to architect. We will synergize the aptitude of portals to engage. The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to harness virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. STW is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! If you evolve strategically, you may have to matrix strategically. Think synergistic. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Think value-added. We will redefine the term "reality-based". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We will disintermediate the ability of markets to morph. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for extending. We think we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to whiteboard cyber-compellingly.