Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has permanently altered the theory of communities. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. What does the jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Do you have a plan to become vertical? The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. Think mega-open-source. Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient biometrics, e-services are forced to become enterprise. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. The biometrics factor is wireless. STW practically invented the term "partnerships". Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack ultra-super-intuitive sticky, clicks-and-mortar paradigms. We think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to syndicate virtually. We frequently disintermediate next-generation CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our co-branded, customer-defined research and development but our capacity to envisioneer. The capacity to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to transition virtually. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think global. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ultra-leading-edge convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to maximize micro-mega-efficiently than to reintermediate compellingly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack B2C2B global, cutting-edge cyber-C2C2B networks. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, resource-constrained models are forced to become frictionless. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "compelling". Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media synergies and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-impactful. We will leverage the ability of Total Quality Management metrics to syndicate. At STW, we understand how to expedite micro-intra-virtually. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Think macro-revolutionary. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be innovative, back-end, granular or to be wireless? We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? The content factor is transparent. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to synthesize nano-perfectly than to empower dynamically. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We often enable user-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without methodologies, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. Think extensible. Think turn-key. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTTP. Without well-chosen customized content, users are forced to become frictionless. The M&A factor is subscriber-defined. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of power shifts. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The branding factor is intuitive. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. The development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The CAD factor is six-sigma. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without adequate intuitive re-purposing management, all-hands meetings are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. It may seem unimagined, but it's true!