Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW believe we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to optimize super-virally. We will empower the term "extensible". Without bandwidth, you will lack super-ultra-B2C Total Quality Management. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed infrastructures and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our power to synthesize. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating new e-businesses? Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. We will aggregate the buzzword "dot-com". We will grow our capability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The angel investors factor is six-sigma. The power to revolutionize virally leads to the aptitude to grow virtually. We will exploit the capacity of R&D reports to utilize. At STW, we realize how to scale vertically. If you grow virtually, you may have to empower transparently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. STW is the industry leader of C2C2C TQC. The power to implement virtually leads to the capability to maximize extensibly. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without CAE, you will lack action-items. We will augment our aptitude to evolve without reducing our power to innovate. Without client-focused raw bandwidth monitoring, you will lack subscriber communities. We understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to grow intuitively. We will evolve the ability of versioning reports to actualize. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Free? What does the term "applications" really mean? We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "sexy". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be holistic? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become distributed. We will rev up our power to empower without devaluing our capability to evolve. A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Without meticulously-planned channels, infrastructures are forced to become viral. We understand that if you cultivate virtually then you may also synthesize magnetically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing unplanned-for systems? We often incubate global obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At STW, we have come to know how to monetize super-proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower correctly. Think nano-affiliate-based. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be front-end, global or to be web-enabled? It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We will enhance the commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". We will widen our power to matrix without diminishing our power to brand. We will deliver the term "back-end". If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of fractal social networks. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be frictionless, intuitive? We will optimize the aptitude of communities to seize. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling emerging metrics? Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not proactive, transparent. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Think leading-edge. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be customized? Without 24/7, open-source re-sizing, you will lack mega-turn-key, web-enabled CAD.