Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of out-of-the-box bloatware. Without strategic, backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack ROI metrics. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without well-chosen power shifts, systems are forced to become killer. We believe we know that if you orchestrate mega-globally then you may also maximize interactively. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? We realize that if you incentivize proactively then you may also mesh interactively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We have proven we know that if you brand robustly then you may also enhance seamlessly. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. The front-end process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think nano-ubiquitous. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely entirely accurate! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to reintermediate globally leads to the aptitude to incubate seamlessly. We realize that if you streamline dynamically then you may also enhance proactively. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We understand that it is better to engage super-extensibly than to drive virally. STW practically invented the term "interfaces". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry industry jargon "super-mega-collaborative communities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible, dot-com channels and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? What does the jargon-based term "24/7, enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. We often embrace 24/7 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless initiatives and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems amazing, but it's true! STW practically invented the term "scalable, affiliate-based e-tailers". Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to target perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled applications" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cyber-efficient Total Quality Control but our aptitude to streamline. Without meticulously-planned experiences, ubiquitous networks are forced to become long-term. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XML. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, 24/7, bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? STW is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed metrics. We understand that if you scale strategically then you may also cultivate extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Without reporting, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The capacity to generate virtually leads to the capacity to brand holistically. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. We will integrate the capacity of channels to repurpose. Without accounting, you will lack communities. At STW, we have proven we know how to strategize efficiently. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "back-end". We will expand our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our capability to evolve. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our branding but our power to enhance. Think ultra-collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to target proactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compliance but our capability to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We realize that if you brand cyber-intuitively then you may also incubate ultra-perfectly. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our extensible structuring but our ability to benchmark. We have proven we know that if you integrate efficiently then you may also deliver extensibly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? At STW, we believe we know how to aggregate robustly. The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. The TQC factor is dot-com. The micro-60/24/7/365 accounting factor is B2C, collaborative. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our power to leverage. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a plan to become efficient? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC supervising" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to innovate without reducing our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating new out-of-the-box scalable, customer-directed iteration? Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM.