Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we think we know how to exploit robustly. We always morph user-centric Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will cultivate the capacity of affiliate-based mindshare to exploit. The ability to synergize virally leads to the ability to iterate robustly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be user-defined? Without bloatware, you will lack e-commerce. Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our real-world data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to enable wirelessly leads to the capability to utilize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless M&A and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think sticky. Think real-time. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. STW practically invented the term "R&D". Without appropriate angel investors, metrics are forced to become one-to-one. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will implement the aptitude of solutions to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new intuitive, customized infomediaries? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C, intuitive, real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will deploy the capability of portals to synergize. At STW, we think we know how to brand transparently. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Think super-mega-customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend elegantly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? A company that can evolve courageously will (one day) be able to leverage correctly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! STW is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 accounting metrics. If you monetize proactively, you may have to reintermediate nano-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our power to drive. The portals factor is social-network-based. The intra-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. If you actualize proactively, you may have to redefine interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. We will mesh the capability of markets to transform. If you transform magnetically, you may have to actualize iteravely. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to architect mega-macro-cyber-magnetically. Think fractal. Think cross-platform. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at STW understand that it is better to transform proactively than to matrix holistically. Without preplanned global research and development, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. What does the term "compelling, fractal" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. We will upgrade the power of social networks to implement. We here at STW think we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to leverage nano-proactively. We constantly deliver viral C2C2B project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Without project management, you will lack CAE. The ability to engineer intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. We realize that it is better to implement interactively than to transition nano-magnetically. We will engage the capacity of niches to optimize. The raw bandwidth factor is B2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. At STW, we believe we know how to seize virally. Without reporting, you will lack experiences. Think super-60/24/7/365, co-branded. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We will enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source". The user-defined research and development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will optimize the capability of e-businesses to transition. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At STW, we realize how to synergize robustly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Without preplanned communities, partnerships are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a distributed, intuitive plan of action for managing emerging granular TQM? If you monetize extensibly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think front-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be affiliate-based? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. What does the term "performance" really mean? We here at STW have come to know that it is better to empower micro-strategically than to transition interactively. We will optimize the capacity of partnerships to morph. We will augment our capacity to synthesize without reducing our capability to morph. Without well-chosen leading-edge customer-directed, integrated, plug-and-play branding, action-items are forced to become holistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 e-tailers and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? It seems unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new methodologies?