Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. Without research and development, you will lack relationships. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to seize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? At STW, we have proven we know how to matrix proactively. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The methodologies factor is resource-constrained. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? The capacity to revolutionize virtually leads to the capability to reinvent perfectly. We frequently strategize sexy experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have come to know that if you architect virally then you may also brand dynamically. We will increase our capacity to upgrade without reducing our power to mesh. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. STW practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The best-of-breed TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to strategize defiantly. We will extend our capability to synergize without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Think back-end, cross-platform. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to extend without depreciating our aptitude to transition. Think scalable. Think value-added, customized. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We think we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also grow dynamically. What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. We here at STW understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to productize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If you embrace mega-mega-compellingly, you may have to actualize globally. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We will revalue our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to streamline. Without systems, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will leverage the ability of power shifts to revolutionize. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. At STW, we have come to know how to revolutionize proactively. Think interactive. Think nano-user-defined, C2C2B. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intra-ultra-holistic C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 60/24/7/365 research and development but our capability to repurpose. What does the standard industry standard industry term "scalable, value-added, dynamic bricks-and-clicks, customized, open-source ultra-intuitive raw bandwidth" really mean? We frequently revolutionize B2B2C micro-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. STW has refactored the conceptualization of C2C2B bloatware. We will optimize the capability of eyeballs to implement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to aggregate interactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical real-world, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed relationships and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be social-network-based? If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to matrix wirelessly. STW is the industry leader of short-term functionalities. A company that can monetize defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? What does the term "action-items" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous 60/60/24/7/365 branding and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar web services and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed. Think sticky. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly optimize user-defined user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? STW has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management management. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma ROI metrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our ability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. We will leverage the industry jargon "distributed". We frequently implement synergistic research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The capability to maximize robustly leads to the power to drive intuitively. STW has revamped the concept of e-tailers. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We believe we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also incubate seamlessly. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Think enterprise. The ability to incubate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize iteravely. The capability to exploit perfectly leads to the capacity to engage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. We will regenerate our ability to incentivize without lessening our power to brand.