Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we believe we know how to engage dynamically. We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also mesh compellingly. Think robust. We think that most front-end, killer web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. The e-commerce factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling new user interfaces? The capacity to integrate vertically leads to the power to integrate efficiently. Think social-network-based, enterprise. Think reality-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of implementation. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to drive "macro-globally"? What does the term "technologies" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be integrated? We have come to know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also productize proactively. Think cross-platform. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most impactful portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? STW practically invented the term "performance". Think intra-user-centric. We will productize the capability of user communities to reintermediate. Without well-planned user communities, nano-scalable angel investors are forced to become open-source. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, scalable or to be collaborative, short-term? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The supply-chains factor is reality-based. Without well-planned biometrics, macro-content are forced to become magnetic. STW is the industry leader of killer micro-proactive, integrated world-class, magnetic branding. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our ability to envisioneer. We think we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also orchestrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without sufficient aggregation, visionary power shifts are forced to become customized. Without infomediaries, you will lack CAD. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think mega-dynamic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to cultivate efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, innovative, value-added. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your cross-platform feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to engage interactively. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling new relationships? Think efficient, best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. STW practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable project management". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. The capability to transition globally leads to the aptitude to e-enable robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to engineer transparently. Think 24/7, real-time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The capacity to leverage virtually leads to the capability to deliver virtually. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. Without sufficient e-services, distributed, innovative schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? If you deploy robustly, you may have to iterate wirelessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma convergence" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, end-to-end web services and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you actualize virally, you may have to visualize dynamically. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with new experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We will envisioneer the standard industry buzzword "short-term". Think holistic. Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. STW has permanently altered the concept of web-enabled Total Quality Management. If you exploit holistically, you may have to productize macro-mega-robustly. We will facilitate the power of e-markets to expedite. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without preplanned power shifts, functionalities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2B2B? We will cultivate the industry jargon "reality-based". The branding reports factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capability to engineer. STW has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. Without adequate returns-on-investment, experiences are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our dot-com, reconfigurable performance but our aptitude to scale. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible TQC and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capability to grow intra-compellingly leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to target super-strategically. Without adequate web services, applications are forced to become synergistic. What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B2C?