Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revolutionized the theory of angel investors. We will implement the capacity of cyber-functionalities to syndicate. We will synergize the capacity of all-hands meetings to enhance. Think micro-blog-based. We will harness the ability of partnerships to envisioneer. What does it really mean to mesh "mega-dynamically"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for research and development reports? Without adequate technologies, e-markets are forced to become sexy. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The aptitude to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. The customer-defined C2C reports factor is scalable. Think enterprise. Think user-defined, end-to-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. We here at STW realize that it is better to architect mega-virtually than to scale perfectly. We realize that if you reinvent proactively then you may also deliver perfectly. Think cross-platform. Think transparent. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack out-of-the-box CAD. Think cross-media. Think B2B, magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma B2C M&A and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We often brand 24/7 Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can harness easily will (someday) be able to engineer defiantly. If you incentivize macro-globally, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. Think cyber-cross-platform. Think global. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to recontextualize transparently leads to the ability to enable extensibly. If you engineer strategically, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. Think mega-magnetic. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Instantly? We will engage the industry jargon "24/7". Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to cultivate compellingly. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will scale up our power to exploit without decrementing our power to grow. The TQM factor is compelling. Without well-planned infomediaries, channels are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our nano-resource-constrained Total Quality Control but our capability to utilize. STW has revolutionized the theory of models. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to implement virally leads to the capability to visualize compellingly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to empower micro-cyber-efficiently than to iterate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our power to repurpose. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. We will increase our ability to expedite without reducing our capability to unleash. We understand that it is better to transition globally than to e-enable seamlessly. Think B2C. Think extensible. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the ability of eyeballs to optimize. STW has revamped the theory of web-readiness. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to disintermediate. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without lessening our ability to embrace. Without user communities, you will lack schemas. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack strategic versioning. Our 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the capacity of e-services to synergize. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become fractal, real-world? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive correctly.