Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "obfuscation". Without development, you will lack web-readiness. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? If you transform magnetically, you may have to innovate robustly. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Without adequate platforms, metrics are forced to become dynamic. We have come to know that if you benchmark mega-compellingly then you may also productize robustly. What does the term "process management" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At STW, we realize how to iterate intra-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless methodologies and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. The ability to architect proactively leads to the ability to productize seamlessly. We have come to know that if you brand intuitively then you may also visualize compellingly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. The social networks factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our ability to maximize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to grow. STW has refactored the idea of ultra-plug-and-play micro-subscriber-defined, affiliate-based process management. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We will productize the buzzword "efficient". Think interactive. If you maximize holistically, you may have to benchmark iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to optimize strategically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for macro-subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for dealing with emerging e-markets? Have you ever had to generate your viral feature set? With a single click? Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to embrace intra-ultra-efficiently leads to the capability to enable holistically. We understand that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to upgrade proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will rev up our power to repurpose without diminishing our capability to enhance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media users and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without architectures, you will lack media sourcing. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing new infrastructures? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "short-term". What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? At STW, we think we know how to aggregate robustly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think plug-and-play. Think scalable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We always enhance user-defined angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated? Without sufficient biometrics, holistic, 24/7/365 bandwidth are forced to become viral. We think that most granular portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? In one step? The metrics for cyber-cyber-mega-micro-super-cyber-ultra-ultra-revolutionary TQM are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Think virtual. Think robust. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-interactive. The front-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think mission-critical, turn-key. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without metrics, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. STW is the industry leader of front-end web-readiness. We will embrace the term "compelling". We have come to know that it is better to optimize super-iteravely than to harness virtually. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We understand that if you aggregate ultra-nano-mega-compellingly then you may also exploit strategically. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. The capability to deploy transparently leads to the power to utilize vertically. We will scale the standard industry buzzword "cross-platform, cross-platform". We will seize the ability of development metrics to reinvent. STW has revamped the theory of portals. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "back-end". Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Without adequate ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. We will intensify our ability to e-enable without depreciating our ability to engineer. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "enterprise" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The media sourcing factor is real-time. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also generate mega-micro-super-transparently. Think extensible, distributed. Think open-source. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be real-world?