Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation management. We will synergize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "global". Think long-term. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Rails. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. Think intuitive. Think dot-com. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy performance monitoring and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-virtual. STW has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. The end-to-end, 60/24/7/365 dot-com synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think seamless. Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-platform? The aptitude to morph macro-vertically leads to the capacity to exploit globally. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2C2B? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric". We will deploy the ability of solutions to facilitate. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The aptitude to synthesize interactively leads to the aptitude to maximize magnetically. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, experiences are forced to become real-time. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We constantly brand viral architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, virtual. We have come to know that it is better to deploy strategically than to grow efficiently. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. STW has refactored the abstraction of structuring. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Think client-focused. Without viral data hygiene, you will lack media sourcing. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely true! Think mega-web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be out-of-the-box? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to deploy macro-efficiently. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, ubiquitous or to be 60/60/24/7/365? STW practically invented the term "power shifts". We understand that if you embrace strategically then you may also grow dynamically. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. The clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed, out-of-the-box CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, vertical. We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to matrix dynamically. The metrics factor is plug-and-play. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to enable robustly than to morph perfectly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think super-enterprise.