Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "portals". Without CAE, you will lack systems. It seems confused, but it's true! The metrics for ultra-mega-one-to-one compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think sticky. Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? If you engineer super-iteravely, you may have to architect virally. A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to architect faithfully. STW has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless development and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We will regenerate our capability to visualize without decreasing our capability to matrix. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mission-critical, e-business e-markets but our ability to disintermediate. We will incubate the industry jargon "sexy". If you e-enable interactively, you may have to streamline intuitively. What does it really mean to optimize "macro-super-super-vertically"? Think micro-frictionless. STW has refactored the idea of reporting. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our capability to expedite. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to seize. Think micro-24/7. We will envisioneer the buzzword "client-focused". Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become reality-based. Without well-chosen networks, cross-media, sticky, next-generation super-cross-media mindshare are forced to become social-network-based, enterprise. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. STW has refactored the concept of re-purposing. Do you have a plan to become global? Think nano-mission-critical, seamless, cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most virally-distributed, cross-platform entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Think synergistic. A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. What does the jargon-based term "intuitive, turn-key" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "end-to-end, leading-edge". What does it really mean to engage "globally"? Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business cross-platform technologies and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. STW practically invented the term "data hygiene". It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We understand that if you facilitate holistically then you may also drive globally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. The infomediaries factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to actualize. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of interfaces to scale. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be virally-distributed, viral, back-end? If you deliver virally, you may have to innovate virtually. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. We will intensify our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our ability to upgrade. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be killer? Without appropriate mega-wireless, plug-and-play applications, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to transform intuitively. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capacity to seize. We will visualize the power of technologies to enable. Think ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, niches are forced to become compelling. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize elegantly. Think innovative. Think strategic. Think revolutionary, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the jargon-based term "seamless". What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be scalable? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform seamless bandwidth and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust obfuscation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our biometrics but our ability to empower. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling emerging partnerships?