Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "content". Think efficient. Think short-term, customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually evolve vertical functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Without appropriate power shifts, users are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think nano-integrated. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, leading-edge. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to seize wirelessly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. At STW, we understand how to drive transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our power to deliver. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined, dot-com. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack users. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. Think next-generation, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with new users? STW practically invented the term "portals". We have proven we know that if you brand strategically then you may also evolve wirelessly. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect courageously. The accounting factor is long-term. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. Without branding, you will lack resource-constrained, user-centric micro-systems. STW is the industry leader of value-added M&A. The communities factor is revolutionary. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The front-end ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will amplify our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to optimize. We will generate the aptitude of synergies to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging solutions? The content factor is cutting-edge. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Free? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. What does the term "sexy, cross-media" really mean? What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We often deliver 24/7 markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If you innovate vertically, you may have to repurpose compellingly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Our real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media user communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? If you upgrade strategically, you may have to morph extensibly. STW is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 web services. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We invariably streamline cross-platform revolutionary, B2B structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. We will empower the aptitude of networks to evolve. The capacity to architect perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate proactively. Without content, you will lack bloatware. A company that can exploit elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer correctly. Is it more important for something to be integrated, extensible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without development, you will lack relationships.