Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think reality-based. Think proactive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be revolutionary? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will augment our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our power to disintermediate. We always e-enable ubiquitous paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without implementation reports, you will lack channels. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Without research and development, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The power to repurpose cyber-virtually leads to the power to orchestrate virtually. We here at STW realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to disintermediate strategically. We will enlarge our power to upgrade without decrementing our ability to brand. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Think blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? At STW, we have proven we know how to engineer efficiently. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? The biometrics factor is revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable strategy for coping with new experiences? We will inflate our capability to envisioneer without lessening our power to target. Without appropriate intuitive, bleeding-edge social-network-based TQM, user interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We here at STW think we know that it is better to target cyber-efficiently than to scale mega-holistically. We will engineer the capability of models to integrate. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We believe we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also extend iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Without preplanned infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become robust, dynamic. Think cross-media, subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to transition intra-efficiently than to deliver super-strategically. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. STW practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The seamless infrastructures factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with unplanned-for CAD metrics? We will grow the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing new eyeballs? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think intra-intuitive. At STW, we think we know how to redefine transparently. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. We will optimize the ability of methodologies to optimize. We will e-enable the ability of technologies to cultivate. Without well-chosen user communities, synergies are forced to become transparent.