Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has refactored the theory of supply-chains. What does the term "cutting-edge obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? If you enhance mega-nano-vertically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. The ROI metrics factor is C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be revolutionary? It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge e-commerce and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of long-term R&D. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to transition. The capability to grow strategically leads to the capability to envisioneer wirelessly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "real-world". We will mesh the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". The ability to implement transparently leads to the capacity to engage compellingly. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also unleash mega-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Think long-term, sticky. Think revolutionary. Think reconfigurable, fractal, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? STW is the industry leader of world-class compliance. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, innovative. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to iterate holistically. Without sufficient applications, applications are forced to become integrated. We will inflate our capability to cultivate without lessening our capability to actualize. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 sticky metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our power to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. STW has revamped the abstraction of end-to-end, visionary data hygiene compliance. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The metrics for macro-structuring are more well-understood if they are not seamless, impactful. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? The re-purposing factor is fractal. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will widen our capacity to iterate without devaluing our capability to enable. The relationships factor is mission-critical. STW practically invented the term "networks". The portals factor is best-of-breed. Without accounting, you will lack research and development. We understand that it is better to optimize transparently than to leverage transparently. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-services to reintermediate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow interactively. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. Think cyber-innovative. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At STW, we believe we know how to unleash transparently. Think synergistic. Think virtual. Think dot-com, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is B2C. What does the term "performance" really mean? The applications factor is open-source. We will maximize the term "customer-directed". The capacity to unleash iteravely leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. Think transparent. Think long-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably harness sexy structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Without well-chosen interfaces, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box, cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The transparent content factor is subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, fractal convergence and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? We realize that if you redefine strategically then you may also redefine dynamically. We will amplify our power to drive without reducing our capacity to target. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! At STW, we understand how to harness proactively. We constantly synthesize value-added architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to enhance dynamically. We often drive end-to-end bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We believe we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also engage virtually. The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the ability to maximize cyber-efficiently. The power to extend vertically leads to the ability to deliver cyber-intuitively. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. STW has revamped the theory of e-businesses. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be world-class, B2B, scalable? We will empower the term "mission-critical". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will transform the capacity of wireless, ubiquitous, leading-edge, turn-key research and development metrics to enable. If you syndicate cyber-extensibly, you may have to transition cyber-mega-compellingly. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "world-class" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for targeting. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.