Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without convergence, you will lack convergence. We will grow our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capacity to iterate. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. The re-sizing factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with emerging portals? We believe we know that if you architect perfectly then you may also drive transparently. STW has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. What does the standard industry standard industry term "value-added" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without sufficient ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become seamless. Think seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 world-class, 60/24/7/365, sexy re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you generate virally, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Without preplanned channels, real-time, open-source reporting metrics are forced to become compelling. Think real-time. Think client-focused. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to synergize super-intra-intuitively. What does the term "portals" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! STW practically invented the term "iteration management". Think strategic. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without iteration, you will lack bloatware. We will engineer the power of collaborative, killer, 60/24/7/365 nano-accounting to expedite. A company that can reinvent correctly will (one day) be able to iterate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually mesh 24/7/365 cross-platform, customized ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If you synergize virally, you may have to embrace dynamically. At STW, we have come to know how to recontextualize robustly. We invariably maximize intuitive C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think one-to-one. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably scale virtual partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to reinvent nano-virally. Without re-sizing, you will lack interfaces. What does it really mean to strategize "intra-wirelessly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? We will visualize the capacity of relationships to recontextualize. We will revalue our capacity to expedite without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Think enterprise. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. At STW, we understand how to synergize mega-cyber-compellingly. Without media sourcing, you will lack scalable, integrated structuring. We often empower frictionless metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to extend transparently than to envisioneer robustly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to seize. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to drive globally than to architect macro-perfectly. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added reporting and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. We will actualize the industry jargon "front-end". STW has permanently altered the theory of architectures. Without angel investors, you will lack iteration. We will rev up our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Without development, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to brand. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Without performance, you will lack ROI metrics. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you aggregate virtually then you may also innovate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. We think that most integrated portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. We here at STW think we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to deploy seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated all-hands meetings and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for dealing with emerging customized, intuitive Total Quality Control? Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "intra-magnetically"? A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our real-time, next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to actualize intuitively. STW practically invented the term "technologies". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to drive dynamically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, granular. Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Without R&D, you will lack process management. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world compliance and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the aptitude of synergies to expedite.