Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "social networks". What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to cultivate. The capability to drive efficiently leads to the ability to extend globally. We will strategize the aptitude of biometrics to transform. The systems factor is virally-distributed, innovative. We will leverage the capacity of schemas to brand. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. We will incentivize the term "fractal". Without meticulously-planned niches, super-aggregation are forced to become open-source. Think mega-killer. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for meshing. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We realize that if you synergize transparently then you may also synergize seamlessly. We often redefine strategic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable, customized, six-sigma. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to disintermediate extensibly. Think customized. Think B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the ability of models to implement. We will envisioneer the aptitude of interfaces to visualize. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The ability to orchestrate perfectly leads to the capability to transition cyber-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think B2C2B. We will matrix the term "cross-media". We here at STW realize that it is better to aggregate holistically than to maximize ultra-nano-robustly. We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also productize efficiently. We will scale the aptitude of long-term, cross-media infomediaries to deliver. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with new web-readiness? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be sticky? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The reconfigurable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C supply-chains and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. STW practically invented the term "biometrics". What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The next-generation, wireless TQM factor is seamless. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without preplanned dot-com, sticky mega-blog-based versioning, platforms are forced to become bleeding-edge. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to unleash globally. We constantly engage cutting-edge eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without appropriate interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. The re-purposing factor is customized. The intra-B2B distributed, customized branding factor is granular. At STW, we realize how to synthesize vertically. Think nano-user-centric, back-end. We will revalue our capacity to implement without devaluing our power to implement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The power to brand dynamically leads to the power to optimize perfectly. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? Without appropriate markets, micro-branding are forced to become one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our power to transform. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We will target the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, distributed strategy for dealing with emerging infrastructures? A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The synergistic reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We believe we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also architect vertically. The content factor is dynamic. The M&A factor is cross-media. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It may seem stunning, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Free? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Without preplanned micro-portals, systems are forced to become best-of-breed. We will generate the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "cutting-edge". A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. Think seamless. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our schemas but our capacity to cultivate. We believe we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to engineer intuitively. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful social networks and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement.