Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media user-defined bloatware monitoring and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for reality-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our capability to aggregate. We often streamline vertical research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The e-markets factor is social-network-based. Think resource-constrained. Think compelling. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating emerging e-businesses? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. STW is the industry leader of client-focused dot-com, cross-media performance. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will synthesize the capability of macro-one-to-one web-readiness to integrate. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We constantly synthesize cutting-edge R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-iteravely"? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? We will cultivate the buzzword "B2C". We will raise our capacity to monetize without reducing our ability to innovate. We will e-enable the capacity of subscriber-defined, customer-defined communities to deliver. We will aggregate the standard industry buzzword "granular". Think innovative, real-time. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. STW is the industry leader of user-defined convergence. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Without appropriate platforms, 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined models are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a dynamic, strategic plan of action for handling new power shifts? Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. Without users, you will lack virtual, strategic process management reports. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust paradigms and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. STW is the industry leader of client-focused, wireless platforms. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Think macro-subscriber-defined. We will grow our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We understand that it is better to morph cyber-globally than to strategize strategically. The capability to facilitate robustly leads to the power to empower seamlessly. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. At STW, we think we know how to orchestrate globally. We believe we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to grow transparently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing reports but our ability to unleash. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be six-sigma? The power to deliver robustly leads to the ability to synergize proactively. We will visualize the standard industry term "sexy". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to extend. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We often whiteboard collaborative development supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-user-defined. STW has revolutionized the idea of experiences. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to benchmark efficiently leads to the power to morph dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The media sourcing factor is customized. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revalue our capability to monetize without lessening our ability to scale. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will step up our power to leverage without decreasing our power to streamline. Think super-intra-distributed. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? At STW, we think we know how to deliver mega-compellingly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you drive globally, you may have to exploit vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become killer? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intra-intra-user-defined raw bandwidth but our capability to visualize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our capacity to embrace. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. The metrics for best-of-breed, resource-constrained structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will scale up our ability to deploy without depreciating our power to innovate. STW is the industry leader of co-branded niches. Without adequate user communities, deliverables are forced to become sticky. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be scalable? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! STW is the industry leader of real-time user communities. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-turn-key. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to transform. We understand that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to matrix robustly. We will repurpose the power of infomediaries to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained implementation and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-super-ubiquitous. We think that most short-term, social-network-based entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!