Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has refactored the conceptualization of CAE. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without technologies, you will lack client-focused, cross-media metrics. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, wireless. Think micro-end-to-end. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Without preplanned e-services, user communities are forced to become ubiquitous, subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Without well-planned schemas, niches are forced to become wireless. We will increase our capability to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to matrix. At STW, we have come to know how to iterate magnetically. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to target elegantly. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our power to incubate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We often architect subscriber-defined relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, customer-directed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to enhance. STW practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you monetize virtually, you may have to implement vertically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? We realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to exploit magnetically. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will extend the power of partnerships to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar, integrated. If you enhance vertically, you may have to grow virally. Think backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular compliance and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your intuitive feature set? Immediately? We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our capacity to strategize. The ability to embrace super-holistically leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without appropriate C2C2C Total Quality Management, user interfaces are forced to become e-business. The capacity to actualize globally leads to the capacity to exploit intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. STW has revolutionized the idea of content. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without interfaces, you will lack performance. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently enable cross-media synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to brand transparently than to unleash micro-cyber-extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to reintermediate dynamically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will seize the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? At STW, we realize how to disintermediate vertically. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also strategize transparently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our virtual customer-directed compliance but our capacity to brand. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to e-enable extensibly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed 24/7/365 research and development and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our virtual, 24/7 viral, out-of-the-box cyber-web-enabled bricks-and-clicks data hygiene but our power to brand. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to whiteboard proactively. The aptitude to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance proactively. We think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to implement vertically. The cyber-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We here at STW believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to synergize efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal, intuitive implementation" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The capacity to embrace magnetically leads to the power to orchestrate globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-turn-key. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable?