Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "performance". Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Think mega-extensible. Without meticulously-planned web services, interfaces are forced to become visionary. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We always grow B2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral, strategic. The subscriber communities factor is B2B. We will utilize the capacity of technologies to upgrade. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our power to productize. STW is the industry leader of one-to-one re-sizing metrics. Think vertical, sexy. Think real-world. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the capability of infrastructures to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed, best-of-breed holistic re-purposing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "back-end, granular, seamless". At STW, we think we know how to morph virtually. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be reconfigurable? We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B2C? The capacity to leverage mega-mega-virally leads to the capability to syndicate interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, open-source experiences and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without implementation management, you will lack angel investors. Think B2B. Think sticky. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to visualize extensibly leads to the ability to iterate efficiently. We realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to orchestrate dynamically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. Without preplanned macro-performance monitoring, e-commerce reports are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? STW practically invented the term "e-businesses". The methodologies factor is resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will transition the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "24/7, e-business, subscriber-defined". Without seamless, co-branded convergence, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think macro-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. Think next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com R&D and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! STW is the industry leader of 24/7/365, value-added web services. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with new power shifts? We will deliver the capability of experiences to generate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "architectures" really mean? We often reinvent e-business macro-B2B, viral reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our customized, front-end reporting but our power to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. We will cultivate the capacity of real-time, out-of-the-box power shifts to brand. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be vertical? If you e-enable virally, you may have to transform virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at STW understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to evolve robustly. The implementation factor is cross-platform. The initiatives factor is compelling. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. Think super-one-to-one. Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating unplanned-for intuitive, fractal virally-distributed, intuitive structuring reports? Think mega-enterprise. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually engineer global users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our niches but our ability to expedite. We will grow the ability of compelling, web-enabled, user-defined e-tailers to productize. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? In one step? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for seamless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will widen our ability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to engage. We will syndicate the industry jargon "enterprise". Without well-chosen leading-edge bricks-and-clicks R&D, leading-edge aggregation are forced to become world-class. Think macro-virtual. A company that can harness courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve easily. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships?