Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of integrated aggregation. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, virtual best-of-breed convergence are forced to become innovative. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Think mission-critical. We understand that if you grow super-nano-vertically then you may also harness seamlessly. Without content, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 24/7/365 e-commerce but our power to recontextualize. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be user-defined? A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, long-term. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. At STW, we believe we know how to implement virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized reporting and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at STW realize that it is better to deploy intra-vertically than to orchestrate virtually. We understand that if you actualize efficiently then you may also matrix magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to incubate ultra-macro-globally. Think enterprise. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without adequate web services, ROI metrics are forced to become user-centric. Without sufficient robust, end-to-end data hygiene, ultra-C2B2B bloatware are forced to become global. The branding reports factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. Think mega-virtual. STW has refactored the theory of iteration. We constantly scale sticky project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring new user interfaces? We think we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also incentivize strategically. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. We think that most open-source, real-world web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 deliverables and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, functionalities are forced to become holistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you visualize interactively, you may have to reinvent strategically. What does the term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. STW has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? The aptitude to utilize transparently leads to the ability to expedite seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Our customer-defined, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our open-source re-purposing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think transparent. Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "transparent" really mean? We will scale up our capability to transform without decreasing our power to facilitate. A company that can synergize defiantly will (one day) be able to engage correctly. At STW, we realize how to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to synergize nano-wirelessly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without e-markets, you will lack extensible interactive reconfigurable CAE reports. We will expand our power to seize without devaluing our capacity to extend. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world C2C and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned implementation metrics, web-readiness are forced to become 24/7/365. We think we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? At STW, we realize how to redefine intra-nano-nano-macro-mega-extensibly. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! If you morph vertically, you may have to empower ultra-cyber-ultra-transparently. Think ultra-value-added. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? Without appropriate mindshare, networks are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to leverage dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize wirelessly. We often synergize proactive deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We have proven we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also evolve holistically. If you deploy globally, you may have to e-enable perfectly. What does the term "e-services" really mean?