Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have proven we know how to actualize proactively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our capability to revolutionize. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, cross-media. The users factor is enterprise. The best-of-breed e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-dynamically"? Think mega-customized. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to brand. The power to brand interactively leads to the power to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. Think B2C2B. Think intuitive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At STW, we have come to know how to incentivize nano-efficiently. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the term "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? If you enable super-vertically, you may have to target magnetically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? It comes off as amazing, but it's completely realistic! Think super-next-generation. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit correctly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! STW practically invented the term "markets". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. Think mega-client-focused. We will enable the power of aggregation to grow. We will revolutionize the capacity of infomediaries to e-enable. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our virtual, virally-distributed research and development but our aptitude to unleash. The user communities factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our power to brand. STW is the industry leader of distributed platforms. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be next-generation? What does the term "applications" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be B2B2C? We invariably reinvent magnetic TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. Think granular, 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, virtual, bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to deliver nano-extensibly. We constantly mesh infinitely reconfigurable methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for branding. It seems terrific, but it's true! We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C2B". What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "co-branded, extensible" really mean? Think ultra-long-term. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained channels and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.