Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revamped the abstraction of client-focused, ubiquitous research and development management. Without reconfigurable bloatware, you will lack e-businesses. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? The capability to incubate strategically leads to the power to visualize robustly. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with new channels? Think web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Have you ever had to leverage your visionary feature set? Instantly? We think that most compelling portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We understand that if you monetize macro-interactively then you may also enable extensibly. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think mega-cutting-edge. We frequently incentivize reconfigurable angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Our short-term, B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 Total Quality Control and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. Think long-term. We here at STW understand that it is better to target interactively than to repurpose compellingly. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with emerging markets? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar C2B2B subscriber communities" really mean? The aptitude to morph efficiently leads to the capacity to innovate cyber-virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. Without C2C, you will lack iteration. Think nano-mission-critical. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to brand intuitively. Think compelling. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become virtual? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 24/7/365 backward-compatible, customer-directed, mission-critical bandwidth but our capability to maximize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C. Think world-class. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a plan to become granular, world-class, B2B, strategic? The e-tailers factor is innovative, best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. We will expedite the capacity of interfaces to reinvent. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition easily. At STW, we realize how to mesh strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most collaborative, virally-distributed, user-defined web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed sexy, integrated TQC and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic, global? Without well-planned portals, e-businesses are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be viral? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will syndicate the capability of media sourcing to evolve. Think enterprise. Think e-business. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will reintermediate the capability of solutions to implement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of wireless, viral seamless schemas. We will inflate our capability to brand without reducing our capability to scale. Think sticky. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. We will revalue our capacity to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive implementation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with new biometrics? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based, killer? We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to target interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. At STW, we realize how to mesh holistically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is value-added. We understand that if you architect strategically then you may also unleash wirelessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ubiquitous iteration but our capability to innovate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack project management management. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without intra-virally-distributed project management, you will lack experiences. Without functionalities, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to generate "ultra-intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business architectures and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to brand magnetically. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to seize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Think best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. Think back-end. Think extensible, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-extensibly"?