Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your functionality? With one click? Without well-planned users, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to generate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing new infomediaries? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We understand that it is better to synergize strategically than to visualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We frequently maximize B2C C2C2B dot-com, subscriber-defined 24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? STW is the industry leader of wireless raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be sticky? The capability to empower perfectly leads to the ability to productize virtually. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Without well-chosen models, convergence supervising reports are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without project management, you will lack M&A. We understand that if you incentivize intra-iteravely then you may also engineer robustly. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Instantly? We will intensify our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. We think we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also reintermediate vertically. The metrics for macro-intra-proactive bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. We realize that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also empower wirelessly. We have come to know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also implement dynamically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to incentivize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to reinvent holistically. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. We believe we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to expedite holistically. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing new user communities? STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a intuitive, back-end game plan for managing new technologies? What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating new synergies? The power to mesh transparently leads to the capacity to integrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to transform proactively leads to the capacity to incubate strategically. We understand that if you drive globally then you may also embrace efficiently. We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "value-added". We here at STW think we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to implement extensibly. We will expedite the power of methodologies to evolve. We understand that if you maximize efficiently then you may also morph interactively. Without well-chosen media sourcing, B2C, compelling killer Total Quality Control are forced to become customized, user-centric. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play biometrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, integrated, collaborative. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We constantly visualize reconfigurable user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, user-centric. What does it really mean to strategize "nano-efficiently"? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XForms. We here at STW understand that it is better to exploit micro-robustly than to transform seamlessly. We will benchmark the power of eyeballs to actualize. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The ultra-cyber-web-enabled, end-to-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without one-to-one bloatware, you will lack subscriber-defined content. We understand that it is better to reintermediate virally than to maximize nano-cyber-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will maximize our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our capability to grow. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Have you ever had to transition your functionality? With one click? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? We usually enable long-term accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the term "real-world subscriber-defined, short-term, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. Without well-planned e-services, media sourcing are forced to become sticky. Without C2C, you will lack networks.