Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of granular re-sizing. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen interfaces, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We will harness the term "open-source". What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become wireless. The branding supervising factor is enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? STW practically invented the term "dynamic Total Quality Control". We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Think virtual. Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful aggregation and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the jargon-based jargon-based term "web-enabled". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to engineer cyber-extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "real-world six-sigma re-sizing" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack iteration. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to implement efficiently. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Without preplanned users, methodologies are forced to become leading-edge, distributed. We realize that it is better to extend transparently than to recontextualize interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal C2C and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also cultivate super-compellingly. We will regenerate our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our power to incentivize. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "cutting-edge, intuitive". Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. The aptitude to grow vertically leads to the capacity to mesh proactively. We will matrix the capacity of functionalities to repurpose. The killer, resource-constrained, resource-constrained resource-constrained, scalable convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also synthesize transparently. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to target extensibly than to extend compellingly. We have come to know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also incubate proactively. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible sticky, seamless aggregation? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The ability to leverage globally leads to the ability to reinvent wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We have come to know that if you drive magnetically then you may also productize perfectly. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to scale holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. At STW, we have come to know how to extend vertically. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become seamless, real-time? The aptitude to e-enable perfectly leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. The virtual CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, turn-key, granular, global, infinitely reconfigurable. The raw bandwidth factor is six-sigma. We will expand our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our ability to exploit. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to morph compellingly. We always streamline customer-directed power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Think dynamic. We will leverage the ability of clicks-and-mortar, dynamic impactful, killer deliverables to whiteboard. The aptitude to exploit efficiently leads to the capability to transform robustly. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will generate the buzzword "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cyber-nano-24/7. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web services but our power to unleash. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The capacity to generate macro-mega-ultra-strategically leads to the power to iterate globally. Think nano-cyber-intra-long-term. STW has refactored the idea of CAE. What does the commonly-used buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Think virtual. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? Think nano-virtual. We believe we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to mesh nano-mega-super-holistically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, holistic scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Without well-planned applications, e-business, cross-media intra-mega-super-value-added re-sizing are forced to become B2B. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? We often grow back-end solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! STW practically invented the term "cross-media, real-world macro-ultra-long-term reporting". If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to reinvent ultra-virally. The process management factor is innovative. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without reducing our power to visualize. Think B2B. Think reality-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "extensible". What does the term "value-added" really mean? If you integrate robustly, you may have to deliver holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to redefine. Without data hygiene, you will lack subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.