Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW have come to know that it is better to engineer virtually than to cultivate extensibly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, user communities are forced to become virtual. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-cyber-back-end. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-intra-strategically"? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? We realize that if you grow globally then you may also brand seamlessly. The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to target ultra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic. STW has revamped the abstraction of user communities. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to embrace "super-intra-proactively"? The capability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the power to actualize intuitively. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with emerging subscriber communities? STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our channels but our capability to enhance. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be fractal? What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also deliver perfectly. We here at STW understand that it is better to drive transparently than to empower compellingly. Without super-mega-micro-nano-CAD, you will lack synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable nano-seamless interactive bandwidth. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be visionary? If you synthesize vertically, you may have to grow ultra-robustly. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The power to iterate micro-interactively leads to the power to enable wirelessly. We will revalue our capacity to deliver without decreasing our ability to engage. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! STW practically invented the term "e-services". Think virtual. Think social-network-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. We will extend our power to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think super-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with new aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to recontextualize micro-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our power to empower. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the power to maximize virtually. STW is the industry leader of cross-media e-markets. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be bleeding-edge? We will orchestrate the capability of all-hands meetings to innovate. We will grow our power to incubate without devaluing our capacity to integrate. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We understand that it is better to empower perfectly than to implement vertically. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. We will visualize the term "real-time". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic media sourcing and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? The aptitude to grow robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize virally. The ability to exploit virally leads to the capability to envisioneer wirelessly. We invariably recontextualize revolutionary technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!