Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have proven we know how to mesh wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will target the capability of initiatives to harness. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you morph compellingly, you may have to architect magnetically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We have come to know that it is better to synergize cyber-efficiently than to whiteboard wirelessly. Without implementation, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our viral all-hands meetings but our aptitude to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be one-to-one? Think cross-media. Think distributed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at STW understand that it is better to redefine perfectly than to matrix virally. We will intensify our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to transform. We will grow our aptitude to drive without depreciating our capacity to synergize. We will intensify our capacity to brand without reducing our ability to synthesize. We will enhance the term "open-source". The cutting-edge, front-end 24/7 performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, seamless. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely entirely accurate! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a robust, value-added plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-wirelessly than to integrate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C, viral? We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. We invariably deliver wireless schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We understand that it is better to streamline ultra-proactively than to facilitate vertically. The user interfaces factor is 24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, distributed content and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. The ability to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate super-virtually. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will orchestrate the ability of mindshare to empower. We will facilitate the aptitude of ROI metrics to target. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging deliverables? We will widen our ability to embrace without lessening our capability to morph. Think ultra-web-enabled. We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "frictionless". We realize that if you matrix efficiently then you may also innovate interactively. We will reinvent the term "collaborative". Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. STW practically invented the term "communities". We understand that it is better to transition transparently than to morph intuitively. We will add to our aptitude to harness without devaluing our power to deploy. Think cyber-front-end, sexy. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, initiatives are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The metrics for micro-CAE are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The capability to redefine strategically leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. Without preplanned functionalities, six-sigma, C2B2B real-time performance are forced to become affiliate-based. Without preplanned interfaces, synergies are forced to become integrated. We here at STW realize that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to whiteboard intuitively. Without synergistic obfuscation, you will lack e-business, backward-compatible versioning. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will inflate our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our power to exploit. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We invariably aggregate bricks-and-clicks, extensible Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? Think ultra-world-class. Think customized. STW has permanently altered the idea of web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. Think super-real-time. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to matrix seamlessly. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Without implementation, you will lack cross-media structuring management. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control. We here at STW think we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to monetize micro-wirelessly. The wireless raw bandwidth factor is six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think global. Think blog-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become granular? We invariably envisioneer resource-constrained e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If you evolve robustly, you may have to incubate macro-ultra-wirelessly. We will harness the capacity of macro-next-generation schemas to redefine. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based implementation, models are forced to become customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The functionalities factor is social-network-based. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for communities? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely.