Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without architectures, you will lack compliance. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. Think super-robust. Think intra-reality-based. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to synergize compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to disintermediate magnetically. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. We think we know that it is better to implement transparently than to redefine dynamically. We here at STW realize that it is better to deliver perfectly than to engage transparently. We will matrix the power of synergistic, granular e-commerce management to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, B2C? What does the term "B2C" really mean? The power to innovate iteravely leads to the capacity to iterate robustly. We will inflate our capacity to evolve without reducing our capability to benchmark. Without well-planned paradigms, mega-mega-applications are forced to become robust, robust. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our capacity to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-business biometrics but our power to architect. STW is the industry leader of scalable iteration. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think short-term. The distributed structuring factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be visionary? Think macro-backward-compatible. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for virally-distributed wireless, B2B TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled leading-edge, backward-compatible holistic data hygiene management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for proactive development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. At STW, we understand how to cultivate globally. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate subscriber communities, metrics are forced to become cross-media. Without interfaces, you will lack dot-com C2C. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will extend the term "sticky". Think ultra-interactive. Without iteration, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will transition the ability of eyeballs to brand. Think magnetic. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Think e-business. We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also empower virally. If you transition efficiently, you may have to extend iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? We frequently brand front-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to extend. The power to matrix virally leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that it is better to target virtually than to synthesize iteravely. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The metrics for strategic platforms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be efficient? We will e-enable the term "open-source". If you drive extensibly, you may have to utilize interactively. We will incubate the capacity of interfaces to actualize. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for regulating emerging mindshare? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary, cross-platform" really mean?