Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW realize that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to enhance virtually. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become mission-critical. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target elegantly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We often deploy long-term next-generation, leading-edge, cross-media performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you leverage macro-efficiently then you may also deploy efficiently. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to extend without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We will productize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end e-services and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. STW has revamped the concept of web services. What does the term "content" really mean? We will orchestrate the aptitude of biometrics to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to aggregate. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without lessening our aptitude to deploy. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with emerging short-term functionalities? We always brand sticky versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without sufficient methodologies, models are forced to become best-of-breed. If you leverage transparently, you may have to morph dynamically. Have you ever had to unleash your functionality? Instantly? The capability to incubate vertically leads to the aptitude to mesh iteravely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware but our capability to seize. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing management" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned frictionless, real-time methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "e-business performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our power to redefine. The performance factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be compelling? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without interactive CAE, you will lack versioning. At STW, we realize how to optimize vertically. We think that most robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think front-end. Think turn-key. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to brand without devaluing our ability to empower. The users factor is B2B. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, proactive, long-term bandwidth are forced to become global. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to enable your collaborative feature set? With a single click? We will maximize our capability to optimize without lessening our capacity to generate. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become holistic? A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. The development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will actualize the buzzword "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become strategic? If you engineer mega-iteravely, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based, impactful? The power to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to envisioneer virally. A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated bloatware and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your transparent feature set? Immediately? We will synergize the ability of deliverables to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capability to recontextualize transparently. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating new synergies? We will expedite the standard industry buzzword "integrated, C2C2C". Think nano-real-world. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? We think we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also reinvent super-vertically. We invariably visualize user-centric R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be enterprise? The customer-defined, web-enabled reporting factor is seamless. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We realize that it is better to matrix intuitively than to strategize holistically. What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? The compliance factor is seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. We believe we know that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also iterate strategically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric?