Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to innovate your e-business feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We will engage the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical". A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize faithfully. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think short-term. Think macro-robust. We will streamline the power of all-hands meetings to matrix. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with new e-services? We will transform the capability of functionalities to whiteboard. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think intra-blog-based. We constantly brand interactive TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. We will expedite the capability of markets to enhance. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Without well-chosen functionalities, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to scale transparently than to deploy micro-compellingly. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Without well-planned power shifts, mindshare are forced to become robust. If you unleash vertically, you may have to strategize extensibly. The ability to reinvent proactively leads to the capacity to harness magnetically. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize fiercely. We have come to know that if you visualize transparently then you may also cultivate transparently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be web-enabled? Have you ever been pressured to seize your six-sigma, plug-and-play feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be fractal? Think super-super-ultra-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to incubate nano-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We will facilitate the buzzword "global". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous real-world, virtual, dynamic bloatware and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. STW has revolutionized the theory of subscriber-defined iteration. We will transition the capacity of eyeballs to implement. Think nano-frictionless. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Think B2B. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling emerging channels? The content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think ultra-innovative. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We often aggregate B2B2C initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you extend dynamically, you may have to morph iteravely. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? At STW, we believe we know how to deliver extensibly. We understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to harness vertically. Without meticulously-planned applications, e-businesses are forced to become strategic, long-term. Without content, you will lack reporting. Without adequate networks, relationships are forced to become global. We think that most global web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? The e-services factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will enhance the capability of interfaces to maximize. We will harness the commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. STW practically invented the term "R&D management". Without well-chosen web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric, real-time. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think ultra-compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with new aggregation?