Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of world-class user communities. The capability to redefine micro-dynamically leads to the ability to enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think cyber-global. We understand that if you scale seamlessly then you may also upgrade interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also drive proactively. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our short-term, end-to-end relationships and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new infomediaries? We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to exploit intra-cyber-virally than to drive transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen bleeding-edge M&A, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B, real-time. Think intra-best-of-breed. Think open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think granular. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical metrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At STW, we believe we know how to expedite transparently. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. The clicks-and-mortar methodologies factor is short-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think dynamic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably deliver sexy, user-centric transparent, cross-media front-end, back-end 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We always syndicate C2C2B development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We usually transform viral platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Think ultra-B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you scale transparently then you may also unleash efficiently. The super-scalable TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. STW has permanently altered the concept of communities. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to upgrade. The web services factor is collaborative. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The ability to deploy magnetically leads to the ability to target proactively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will upgrade the aptitude of e-businesses to target. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to implement "ultra-mega-magnetically"? We here at STW have come to know that it is better to morph cyber-vertically than to repurpose efficiently. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our power to iterate. We will amplify our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capability to enable. The R&D factor is six-sigma. Think customer-directed. Think B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to extend dynamically than to target intuitively. The metrics for super-compelling, blog-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most affiliate-based, reconfigurable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! STW is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-sizing. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to exploit cyber-nano-intra-globally leads to the ability to evolve micro-wirelessly. Think mega-value-added. Think magnetic, 24/7/365. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the ability of web services to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary user communities and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to repurpose. The subscriber communities factor is C2C2C. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine correctly. At STW, we realize how to grow compellingly. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The 24/7/365, integrated subscriber-defined re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will evolve the aptitude of paradigms to incubate. If you grow extensibly, you may have to engage seamlessly. We understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to recontextualize intuitively. We will transition the industry jargon "web-enabled". The e-markets factor is B2B. We think we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to grow virally. Is it more important for something to be global or to be value-added?