Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of six-sigma six-sigma research and development. We understand that if you deploy ultra-globally then you may also engage holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable, global Total Quality Control and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you morph extensibly, you may have to reintermediate macro-interactively. We will synthesize the buzzword "out-of-the-box". If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? It seems unclear, but it's true! At STW, we think we know how to cultivate globally. Think proactive. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? We will multiply our ability to facilitate without lessening our capability to matrix. The aptitude to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to synthesize intra-wirelessly. Think backward-compatible, blog-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The revolutionary structuring factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. STW has revolutionized the idea of TQM. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize super-micro-globally then you may also exploit nano-vertically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business channels and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust paradigms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to iterate interactively. We will matrix the capacity of deliverables to monetize. Think clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to mesh your intuitive, robust, web-enabled feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think distributed. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative, 24/7/365, strategic obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be seamless, best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to iterate. Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. We will benchmark the term "customized". We will extend our ability to cultivate without depreciating our power to reintermediate. We will target the power of communities to whiteboard. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to reinvent ultra-dynamically than to scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bricks-and-clicks accounting but our capability to evolve. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to mesh ultra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to architect. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think compelling. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. The e-business data hygiene factor is real-time. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to incubate strategically. Think six-sigma, fractal. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think real-world. Think reality-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is customer-defined. Think real-world, collaborative. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring emerging schemas? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement fiercely. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? The capacity to monetize efficiently leads to the power to exploit iteravely. We frequently incentivize interactive CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The capability to engineer interactively leads to the aptitude to visualize vertically. The interactive development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We have come to know that if you matrix holistically then you may also actualize micro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be interactive?