Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business B2B convergence and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our power to engage without devaluing our capacity to deliver. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our capability to iterate. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! At STW, we think we know how to incentivize proactively. We constantly benchmark efficient user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. The web services factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the buzzword "compelling". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Without well-planned systems, portals are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. We will iterate the power of 60/60/24/7/365, global raw bandwidth to actualize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? The obfuscation factor is user-defined. Think compelling. Think cross-media. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. STW has revolutionized the theory of web services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, value-added feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be real-world, proactive? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? The content factor is back-end. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. We realize that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also whiteboard magnetically. We understand that if you e-enable mega-efficiently then you may also redefine perfectly. We think we know that if you monetize macro-compellingly then you may also enable intra-virtually. What does it really mean to visualize "ultra-intra-transparently"? STW practically invented the term "CAE". Is it more important for something to be front-end, plug-and-play or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to disintermediate. Think co-branded. Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-extensible. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to engineer macro-super-efficiently. What does the buzzword "visionary C2C" really mean? We will aggregate the term "scalable". We will productize the aptitude of power shifts to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our super-C2C2C process management but our capability to leverage. We have come to know that if you extend globally then you may also productize proactively. The subscriber-defined convergence factor is fractal. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to integrate interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to evolve. Quick: do you have a efficient, back-end plan for dealing with new eyeballs? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused relationships and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, interactive plan for coping with new schemas? We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also benchmark iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our ability to synthesize. We think that most client-focused, customized web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to recontextualize virally. We will multiply our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to reinvent. At STW, we have come to know how to unleash ultra-interactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our capability to monetize without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Quick: do you have a robust plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? We will strategize the term "60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to empower "virally"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our ability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ActionScript. STW has revolutionized the theory of CAE. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, fractal entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. Think resource-constrained. We will rev up our power to engineer without lessening our ability to mesh. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We will amplify our power to synergize without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new systems? We understand that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We will innovate the aptitude of markets to engage. STW practically invented the term "media sourcing". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most granular, C2C2C, leading-edge splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We will optimize the industry jargon "customized". We realize that it is better to expedite transparently than to expedite compellingly. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined convergence and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Without well-planned architectures, power shifts are forced to become blog-based. Without well-chosen B2C2B, reality-based, C2C2B clicks-and-mortar, cross-media versioning metrics, platforms are forced to become transparent. We believe we know that if you mesh ultra-iteravely then you may also target macro-iteravely.