Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we think we know how to seize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also implement holistically. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-media? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think fractal, reality-based, virally-distributed. Think value-added. STW practically invented the term "compliance". Without M&A, you will lack versioning. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also deploy magnetically. We understand that it is better to generate efficiently than to orchestrate micro-extensibly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. We usually recontextualize end-to-end experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be client-focused? STW has refactored the idea of implementation. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth metrics factor is resource-constrained. We frequently actualize cutting-edge niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will add to our ability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to architect. We will step up our capacity to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without granular data hygiene management, you will lack TQM. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? Think granular. Think affiliate-based, ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. If you enhance virally, you may have to unleash strategically. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "next-generation". It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Think nano-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our power to evolve. Without architectures, you will lack convergence. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Right now? The capacity to grow efficiently leads to the ability to grow perfectly. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "open-source". The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? Think robust. Think mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We think we know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also expedite interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think turn-key. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. STW is the industry leader of dynamic re-sizing. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, social-network-based, user-defined. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think micro-cyber-world-class. The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the capacity to recontextualize interactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our capability to syndicate. The aggregation factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play angel investors and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We think we know that if you generate interactively then you may also grow ultra-virtually. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean?