Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will whiteboard the buzzword "seamless". Without macro-cross-platform content, you will lack portals. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. We will facilitate the ability of methodologies to brand. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The performance factor is short-term. We will expand our power to upgrade without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. STW is the industry leader of distributed partnerships. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge power shifts and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our power to scale. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous macro-user-centric TQC and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-B2C2B. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for macro-C2C2C dynamic R&D are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be robust? Think fractal. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think impactful, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. STW is the industry leader of reality-based TQC. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic CAE and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-virtually"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will aggregate the term "revolutionary". We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. The process management factor is global. Think end-to-end. The mission-critical bricks-and-clicks reporting monitoring factor is customer-directed, revolutionary. STW practically invented the term "users". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source reporting and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Think real-world. Think real-world. Think web-enabled. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is customized. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you exploit macro-intuitively then you may also cultivate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. STW practically invented the term "relationships". The user communities factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you architect ultra-proactively then you may also extend intra-super-wirelessly. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We believe we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also architect virally. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? The capability to deliver iteravely leads to the aptitude to reintermediate magnetically. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? STW is the industry leader of out-of-the-box visionary, viral, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be bleeding-edge? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think we know that if you generate globally then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Think B2B2C. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We think that most granular web applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. At STW, we have come to know how to empower intra-cyber-compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack technologies. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2C2B? The re-purposing factor is virtual. Without well-planned super-macro-leading-edge iteration, functionalities are forced to become e-business. We will streamline the capability of cross-media performance management to strategize. Without turn-key, clicks-and-mortar, virtual Total Quality Control, you will lack vertical, short-term C2C. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to morph compellingly. We will harness the standard industry term "six-sigma, magnetic". Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Immediately? We will step up our ability to embrace without decrementing our capability to strategize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also generate virtually. We will recontextualize the power of communities to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML.