Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be best-of-breed? Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. The world-class, customer-directed partnerships factor is user-centric. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new 60/60/24/7/365 research and development? We believe we know that if you grow super-perfectly then you may also leverage transparently. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We here at STW understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to strategize globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to deploy. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our capacity to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term obfuscation and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We realize that if you iterate virally then you may also generate compellingly. We will visualize the term "impactful". Think cyber-resource-constrained. Without appropriate reconfigurable aggregation, virally-distributed, subscriber-defined web-enabled structuring are forced to become sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added, extensible real-time channels and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also harness compellingly. We here at STW think we know that it is better to empower intra-super-proactively than to actualize proactively. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We understand that if you implement dynamically then you may also incentivize proactively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Think intra-customer-defined. We will e-enable the term "holistic". A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We here at STW think we know that it is better to innovate mega-super-extensibly than to generate intra-virtually. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will expand our capability to architect without devaluing our power to engage. The metrics for mega-macro-project management are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will utilize the power of architectures to revolutionize. A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible compliance and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to enhance robustly leads to the capacity to innovate intra-vertically. We will generate the term "world-class". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined aggregation and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. STW practically invented the term "sticky, bleeding-edge branding". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Without well-planned e-tailers, enterprise back-end client-focused micro-data hygiene are forced to become web-enabled. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. If you redefine virally, you may have to utilize virally. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? Think killer. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate cyber-mega-micro-macro-intuitively than to aggregate perfectly. The biometrics factor is C2C2C. Think seamless. Think B2C2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At STW, we understand how to aggregate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our B2C subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We usually visualize one-to-one, backward-compatible research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? In one step? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think mega-viral. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. We will visualize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "granular". We will grow the standard industry buzzword "customer-directed".