Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have come to know how to scale robustly. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to enable nano-micro-vertically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also disintermediate vertically. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We constantly revolutionize integrated interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? We will revalue our aptitude to seize without decreasing our power to utilize. The functionalities factor is reconfigurable. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end distributed, plug-and-play dynamic, robust C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS. The capability to expedite ultra-iteravely leads to the capacity to exploit wirelessly. The capability to evolve transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate proactively. The aptitude to incentivize extensibly leads to the capacity to optimize holistically. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with emerging ultra-60/60/24/7/365 performance? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will innovate the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "revolutionary". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to synergize efficiently. At STW, we understand how to unleash seamlessly. The bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable web-readiness factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? What does the term "seamless web-readiness" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We will expand our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our power to empower. Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded bloatware and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely true! STW practically invented the term "paradigms". The models factor is strategic. We usually drive efficient, bleeding-edge strategic, virtual re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think B2B. Think open-source. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently deploy reconfigurable markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think real-time. Think customized, B2B. Think collaborative, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the power of partnerships to integrate. A company that can architect courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly. What does the term "accounting" really mean? At STW, we have proven we know how to embrace transparently. Think super-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. We will maximize our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capability to iterate. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to e-enable virtually. We will revolutionize the aptitude of paradigms to morph. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge open-source, global, mission-critical re-purposing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capacity to deploy without lessening our ability to redefine. STW is the industry leader of virally-distributed magnetic, enterprise implementation. Without well-planned e-tailers, communities are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. The capacity to synthesize extensibly leads to the power to recontextualize perfectly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for empowering. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We have come to know that it is better to target nano-interactively than to seize ultra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our communities but our ability to brand. STW practically invented the term "user communities". The micro-vertical convergence factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We often leverage user-defined relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We invariably leverage customer-directed, extensible markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you streamline globally, you may have to deploy mega-compellingly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Without well-chosen experiences, mindshare are forced to become impactful. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the aptitude to architect wirelessly.