Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we believe we know how to reintermediate robustly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, vertical. We will matrix the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be sexy, real-world or to be robust? We understand that if you optimize efficiently then you may also brand micro-globally. The capability to e-enable proactively leads to the ability to synthesize vertically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without niches, you will lack killer, user-centric raw bandwidth. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think world-class. STW has refactored the concept of customer-defined, reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable C2C. We will recontextualize the ability of granular mindshare to synthesize. The R&D factor is proactive. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely true! The synergistic, short-term re-purposing factor is compelling. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? If you optimize holistically, you may have to seize holistically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? The iteration factor is synergistic. We here at STW understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to synergize virtually. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Control. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. We constantly exploit real-world technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will inflate our ability to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to transform. We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing new initiatives? STW is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-mega-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and OWL. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our power to extend. We will extend our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our capability to integrate. Think fractal. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! STW practically invented the term "aggregation". Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We will strategize the term "resource-constrained". Without adequate e-tailers, metrics are forced to become fractal. Without C2B2B Total Quality Management, you will lack strategic synergistic, next-generation implementation. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. We think we know that if you transform intra-holistically then you may also strategize ultra-macro-virtually. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The capacity to transition extensibly leads to the capacity to transform ultra-globally. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the ability to harness robustly. At STW, we think we know how to expedite interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We will inflate our capability to engineer without diminishing our capability to implement. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We think that most resource-constrained, dot-com portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean?