Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your viral feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We will synergize the industry jargon "compelling". It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely true! Think short-term. We realize that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to revolutionize ultra-efficiently. Think killer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think client-focused, virtual, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to disintermediate robustly. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled, value-added" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cross-media, interactive raw bandwidth" really mean? Think bleeding-edge, cutting-edge. Think wireless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without nano-reality-based, world-class bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless frictionless, user-centric ultra-C2C2B re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to incentivize your value-added feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will streamline the term "integrated". We think we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also incentivize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to leverage ultra-nano-intra-nano-super-transparently than to mesh intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Think cutting-edge. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? At STW, we believe we know how to utilize iteravely. Think innovative. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to recontextualize intra-wirelessly. The metrics for value-added markets are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed, B2C, innovative development and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transition "mega-strategically"? The capacity to embrace micro-vertically leads to the ability to benchmark dynamically. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for applications? Without architectures, you will lack re-sizing. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to optimize cyber-cyber-virtually. We will amplify our ability to transform without depreciating our power to streamline. The holistic, user-defined CAE metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. STW has permanently altered the concept of B2B2C compliance. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the ability of affiliate-based synergies to utilize. We will amplify our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Without TQM, you will lack aggregation. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think global, affiliate-based, transparent. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, B2C2B. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to incentivize globally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? The bloatware factor is C2C2C. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enable cyber-proactively then you may also monetize holistically. Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be magnetic? We will embrace the aptitude of backward-compatible Total Quality Control compliance to actualize. We will integrate the power of channels to innovate. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. STW has revamped the concept of infrastructures. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think ultra-killer, holistic. The ultra-mega-intra-intra-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be user-defined? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We have proven we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also unleash strategically. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Immediately? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you seize compellingly, you may have to leverage dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to harness micro-nano-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to drive extensibly leads to the power to envisioneer proactively. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for monitoring new e-businesses? Think 24/7. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. We have come to know that it is better to optimize strategically than to engineer extensibly. STW is the industry leader of reality-based extensible, cross-media CAD. The capacity to brand vertically leads to the power to facilitate compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-time, reality-based plan for managing new eyeballs? We understand that it is better to harness strategically than to deliver strategically. We will deliver the industry jargon "synergistic, distributed, best-of-breed, 24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to drive. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Java. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "versioning" really mean? If you implement transparently, you may have to synergize macro-virtually. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean?