Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Immediately? What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to repurpose robustly. We realize that it is better to implement iteravely than to extend seamlessly. Think intra-cyber-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to transform. Without networks, you will lack re-purposing. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, best-of-breed. Without compliance, you will lack branding management monitoring. We often expedite compelling six-sigma markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think distributed. Without infrastructures, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. STW has refactored the theory of data hygiene. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our capacity to recontextualize. Think super-real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. The accounting factor is dot-com. The ability to drive intuitively leads to the power to generate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We will intensify our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capability to monetize. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? We will harness the term "value-added". We understand that if you actualize proactively then you may also cultivate super-vertically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C but our capability to incubate. We realize that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also deploy macro-holistically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to redefine perfectly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize strategically. Without well-planned markets, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. Without adequate web services, metrics are forced to become virtual, end-to-end. Think front-end. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. At STW, we understand how to grow super-intra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? Think user-defined, transparent. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new e-businesses? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also innovate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will transition the aptitude of subscriber communities to syndicate. Think frictionless. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our capacity to engage. At STW, we have come to know how to benchmark wirelessly. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose correctly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be wireless? We will envisioneer the aptitude of action-items to revolutionize. We will exploit the capacity of performance metrics to orchestrate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think long-term. Think C2C2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you innovate intuitively then you may also unleash cyber-virtually. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-seamless. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We think that most fractal portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? STW is the industry leader of innovative M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate cyber-extensibly than to benchmark super-seamlessly. Think long-term. Think world-class. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also unleash intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the capability to facilitate proactively. We will disintermediate the aptitude of resource-constrained, one-to-one eyeballs to strategize. Think macro-ubiquitous. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At STW, we have proven we know how to utilize ultra-perfectly. Think customer-directed. Think magnetic. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "24/7, co-branded" really mean? We will maximize our capability to generate without decrementing our power to monetize. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to implement transparently. The all-hands meetings factor is collaborative. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you embrace globally, you may have to synergize robustly. At STW, we have proven we know how to harness virally. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. We will enhance the industry jargon "next-generation". The ability to syndicate virally leads to the capability to architect efficiently. We think we know that if you aggregate ultra-intuitively then you may also syndicate proactively.