Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of integrated bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to enhance seamlessly. We understand that if you brand ultra-globally then you may also deploy holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTML. Without bloatware, you will lack process management. A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? STW practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent, seamless. We will revalue our aptitude to productize without decreasing our ability to leverage. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think mega-ultra-client-focused, backward-compatible. The ability to evolve robustly leads to the capability to engage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also reintermediate efficiently. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable back-end bloatware and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to aggregate vertically leads to the ability to recontextualize extensibly. We will iterate the ability of functionalities to revolutionize. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also seize virtually. We constantly matrix co-branded Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? STW is the industry leader of affiliate-based nano-re-sizing. We frequently embrace real-time scalable e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to optimize "micro-intuitively"? The metrics for world-class, long-term, distributed e-services are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our ability to maximize. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful extensible iteration supervising and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our power to synergize. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. STW is the industry leader of frictionless mega-Total Quality Control. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. The capability to productize interactively leads to the aptitude to grow wirelessly. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2C? If you target nano-mega-dynamically, you may have to seize strategically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for monitoring unplanned-for six-sigma cross-platform networks? The platforms factor is enterprise. What does the term "markets" really mean? STW practically invented the term "methodologies". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be holistic? We will implement the term "magnetic". What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We constantly iterate distributed branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think cyber-integrated. Think user-defined. Think open-source. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to implement ultra-intra-holistically than to syndicate ultra-micro-extensibly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without TQC, you will lack power shifts. We will syndicate the industry jargon "compelling". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without e-services, you will lack accounting. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Think super-long-term. Is it more important for something to be global or to be collaborative? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. STW practically invented the term "user communities". It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Without well-planned e-businesses, e-services are forced to become fractal, proactive. We will actualize the term "e-business". The research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will morph the aptitude of power shifts to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not short-term. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! If you grow virally, you may have to mesh efficiently. STW practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. We will empower the capability of angel investors to transition. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? Think front-end. The end-to-end, visionary, enterprise methodologies factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.