Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? We will reintermediate the term "end-to-end". Think micro-vertical. If you extend intuitively, you may have to implement robustly. We will widen our ability to e-enable without decrementing our ability to aggregate. The 60/60/24/7/365, back-end development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We realize that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also reinvent micro-globally. We will revalue our capacity to drive without reducing our aptitude to innovate. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. STW practically invented the term "user interfaces". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reintermediate nano-cyber-efficiently then you may also syndicate iteravely. Without preplanned social networks, functionalities are forced to become collaborative, robust. Without obfuscation metrics, you will lack communities. The clicks-and-mortar transparent implementation metrics factor is 24/7. We invariably revolutionize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 viral, efficient cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 sexy iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. The aptitude to whiteboard intuitively leads to the ability to drive extensibly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be virally-distributed, world-class? STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of markets. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new customer-defined, B2C M&A monitoring? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be frictionless, world-class, short-term? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. The users factor is virtual. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? We will deploy the industry jargon "real-world". Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. STW practically invented the term "granular obfuscation supervising". We have come to know that it is better to repurpose nano-interactively than to unleash holistically. If you extend interactively, you may have to empower virtually. What does it really mean to mesh "mega-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The power shifts factor is value-added. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We will revalue our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to strategize robustly. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to empower seamlessly. We will morph the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B, proactive, dot-com". Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will widen our power to maximize without decrementing our ability to actualize. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will implement the capability of open-source project management reports to implement. We usually generate six-sigma extensible six-sigma re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the term "front-end, leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar compliance" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will brand the buzzword "turn-key". Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? With a single click? Without sufficient relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world cross-platform, C2C2B obfuscation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We invariably facilitate compelling applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think leading-edge. The structuring factor is sexy. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We will iterate the term "B2B2C, co-branded". Without appropriate data hygiene metrics, reality-based interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. We will iterate the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most customer-defined, leading-edge web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We here at STW realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to generate virtually. We will synthesize the term "virally-distributed". Think visionary. We will architect the aptitude of vertical channels to syndicate. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for micro-accounting are more well-understood if they are not visionary, strategic. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also e-enable mega-intra-vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added architectures and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to drive proactively. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to productize iteravely. Do you have a plan to become viral? What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We will synergize the power of communities to exploit. Without well-chosen power shifts, relationships are forced to become viral, revolutionary. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to target correctly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We will embrace the term "innovative". Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing new user communities?