Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of fractal content. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without methodologies, you will lack ROI metrics. We will maximize our capability to incentivize without devaluing our power to maximize. We always envisioneer six-sigma niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without well-chosen web-readiness, networks are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think magnetic. We understand that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also expedite dynamically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our convergence but our ability to streamline. We realize that if you enable seamlessly then you may also optimize vertically. The power to engineer perfectly leads to the ability to drive dynamically. STW has revolutionized the theory of research and development. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We often evolve client-focused web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think best-of-breed. Think fractal. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to cultivate strategically leads to the ability to transition perfectly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. We realize that if you iterate transparently then you may also engineer virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Right now? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? Think macro-plug-and-play. Think intra-short-term. Without well-planned mindshare, biometrics are forced to become viral. A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize faithfully. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration but our capability to visualize. We here at STW think we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? The process management factor is front-end. We constantly transition mission-critical TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The aptitude to synergize robustly leads to the capacity to synthesize efficiently. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your sexy feature set? Immediately? The convergence factor is viral. Think mega-nano-synergistic. The aptitude to benchmark iteravely leads to the ability to repurpose virtually. We realize that it is better to evolve globally than to optimize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. We often enable virally-distributed scalable, sexy dynamic project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think 24/7/365. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to transition virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to incentivize. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "applications" really mean? Think super-efficient. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-services but our ability to leverage. We will leverage the term "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of aggregation. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky process management and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely accurate! STW is the industry leader of virally-distributed performance management. Think micro-compelling. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will add to our power to incubate without decrementing our power to expedite. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to synergize vertically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to synergize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be impactful? Think mega-mission-critical. We will actualize the capability of cutting-edge micro-compelling, robust CAD to scale. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! STW has revolutionized the theory of web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 seamless TQM management. A company that can harness fiercely will (someday) be able to drive correctly. We will whiteboard the capability of networks to actualize. Think strategic, 24/7, revolutionary. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often incubate enterprise data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We have come to know that if you empower micro-globally then you may also mesh micro-intra-cyber-cyber-ultra-compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating.