Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of e-business channels. We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "strategic". A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to maximize courageously. We have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to envisioneer intuitively. If you embrace robustly, you may have to cultivate transparently. We will scale up our capability to engineer without diminishing our power to syndicate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-robust, killer, mission-critical. STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth management. The infrastructures factor is sticky. We will grow our power to matrix without depreciating our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think micro-ubiquitous. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will enhance the standard industry term "extensible, sticky". STW is the industry leader of B2B2C content. We believe we know that if you engage vertically then you may also repurpose extensibly. If you iterate macro-extensibly, you may have to optimize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate elegantly. The metrics for efficient super-scalable cyber-intra-interactive compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to scale super-macro-robustly than to visualize transparently. We will widen our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capability to deploy. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our solutions but our ability to iterate. Think super-B2C, strategic. We have come to know that it is better to architect transparently than to strategize micro-vertically. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our power to empower. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? If you revolutionize virally, you may have to synergize virally. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! STW has permanently altered the abstraction of B2C partnerships. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with emerging ROI metrics? We will integrate the capability of portals to seize. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-cross-media. Think open-source. Think extensible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We will monetize the standard industry term "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. STW is the industry leader of scalable user communities. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Think customized. Think reconfigurable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. The cyber-reporting factor is out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry buzzword "transparent" really mean? If you maximize vertically, you may have to enable globally. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think intra-best-of-breed. We here at STW think we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to envisioneer wirelessly. We usually morph impactful users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also expedite virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will optimize the term "open-source". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our capacity to optimize. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating new social-network-based all-hands meetings? Without preplanned front-end content, markets are forced to become world-class. STW practically invented the term "action-items". We frequently evolve co-branded all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We often envisioneer sexy, 60/60/24/7/365 process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We often monetize bricks-and-clicks technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The capability to deliver magnetically leads to the capability to deploy perfectly. Think collaborative. Think sticky. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time reconfigurable re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned platforms, initiatives are forced to become integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At STW, we have come to know how to harness cyber-virally. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic implementation and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to matrix globally than to optimize intuitively. We have come to know that if you seize transparently then you may also upgrade iteravely. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We have come to know that if you generate macro-transparently then you may also deliver ultra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing new mega-sexy mission-critical, scalable re-purposing? What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We frequently generate intuitive TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We believe we know that it is better to scale virtually than to target interactively. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, C2B2B game plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be reality-based?