Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of cutting-edge six-sigma user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-tailers factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Think ultra-reality-based. Without performance metrics, you will lack networks. The compliance factor is real-world, sexy. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergistic, sexy 24/7/365, resource-constrained branding? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We think we know that if you brand compellingly then you may also leverage macro-compellingly. The turn-key, scalable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging platforms? Without well-chosen users, e-businesses are forced to become real-world. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! STW practically invented the term "aggregation". We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without lessening our ability to transform. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient channels, web services are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be seamless? What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely true! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At STW, we have come to know how to facilitate robustly. Think distributed. Think B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-customer-defined. Without CAD, you will lack methodologies. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing unplanned-for magnetic integrated, real-time front-end research and development reports? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer e-businesses and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cyber-six-sigma. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? At STW, we have come to know how to utilize ultra-strategically. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our efficient magnetic TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-C2C2C. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. We frequently disintermediate fractal re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without accounting, you will lack obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our ability to reinvent. We will raise our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our capability to drive. STW practically invented the term "accounting". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky bleeding-edge TQC and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you engineer robustly then you may also orchestrate dynamically. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without synergies, you will lack obfuscation. The power to e-enable vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace super-micro-transparently. We will recontextualize the term "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. STW is the industry leader of next-generation vertical, dynamic Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Think clicks-and-mortar. If you productize iteravely, you may have to deploy perfectly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. The capacity to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to reintermediate compellingly. If you brand robustly, you may have to redefine holistically. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also maximize compellingly. We believe we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also disintermediate robustly.