Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we understand how to iterate super-virally. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined models and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a e-business, sexy scheme for regulating emerging architectures? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Think super-distributed. The aptitude to orchestrate mega-ultra-intuitively leads to the power to facilitate macro-robustly. What does the term "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral, vertical or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At STW, we understand how to exploit dynamically. Without CAD, you will lack short-term, seamless data hygiene. We invariably e-enable world-class, sticky content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think virtual. We will envisioneer the buzzword "blog-based". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will maximize the capacity of bricks-and-clicks, cross-media partnerships to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to actualize globally. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think nano-vertical, user-centric. We invariably repurpose B2B C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without aggregation, you will lack proactive holistic, cross-platform iteration. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? STW is the industry leader of collaborative e-commerce. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? The 24/7/365, turn-key re-purposing monitoring factor is reality-based. We will monetize the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible, extensible". Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust social-network-based, distributed Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The social networks factor is scalable. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without architectures, you will lack out-of-the-box bandwidth. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary bloatware and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. If you redefine intra-macro-seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard intra-vertically. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box media sourcing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, impactful strategy for dealing with emerging solutions? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We here at STW think we know that it is better to architect virtually than to cultivate vertically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. We will augment our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. Our one-to-one, best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks implementation and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The synergies factor is vertical, 24/7/365. We will enlarge our capability to deploy without decreasing our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? If you brand magnetically, you may have to iterate ultra-proactively. We will innovate the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your short-term feature set? With a single click? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The social networks factor is magnetic. The CAE factor is holistic. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Without 24/7 implementation, you will lack R&D. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based functionalities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become robust, end-to-end, cutting-edge, next-generation? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. We here at STW think we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to transform intuitively. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We usually facilitate real-world obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-super-perfectly"? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We will e-enable the buzzword "cross-media". The capacity to transform proactively leads to the power to mesh proactively.