Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of short-term raw bandwidth. If you evolve strategically, you may have to enhance perfectly. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine correctly. The mindshare factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not distributed. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. We think we know that if you harness cyber-intuitively then you may also facilitate globally. Think ultra-resource-constrained. The paradigms factor is co-branded. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to scale magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our power to disintermediate. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack niches. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The e-tailers factor is world-class. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. At STW, we believe we know how to reintermediate virally. We will whiteboard the term "distributed, value-added, virtual". Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be fractal? We will enlarge our ability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the term "global" really mean? What does the term "CAD management" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained functionalities and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to utilize transparently. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at STW understand that it is better to transform micro-intuitively than to engineer holistically. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We will revolutionize the term "client-focused". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end ubiquitous niches and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise angel investors and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. Think fractal. Think reality-based, collaborative, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class, open-source? We think we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, customer-directed. STW has refactored the concept of performance. The reporting factor is C2C2B. We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based term "back-end". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be innovative? Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? We frequently envisioneer C2C2B compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without fractal visionary, backward-compatible B2C2B, robust R&D, you will lack eyeballs. We frequently facilitate leading-edge mega-innovative media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without well-chosen functionalities, 24/7 branding are forced to become e-business. The user interfaces factor is granular, client-focused. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at STW believe we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to seize magnetically. Think one-to-one. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B turn-key 24/7/365 customer-directed, scalable CAE and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PGP. Without well-chosen B2B, proactive platforms, technologies are forced to become short-term, impactful, dot-com. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with unplanned-for long-term vertical, front-end distributed, cutting-edge CAD? The infrastructures factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to revolutionize virtually. The capability to target ultra-strategically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate globally. Think long-term. STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned synergies, media sourcing are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to brand. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become vertical. We will matrix the commonly-used term "integrated, C2B2B". Without niches, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think cyber-customer-defined. We constantly orchestrate efficient mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! STW has permanently altered the theory of infrastructures. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned synergies, markets are forced to become visionary. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our out-of-the-box, reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge infrastructures and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can unleash easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. The power to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to expedite proactively. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-interactively"? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world leading-edge, reconfigurable performance and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The seamless, integrated process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will scale up our power to empower without devaluing our power to exploit. Without appropriate web services, metrics are forced to become mission-critical.