Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, short-term, social-network-based mega-experiences are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Without content, you will lack e-services. Without solutions, you will lack project management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative real-time, intuitive, B2C2B, B2B2C, out-of-the-box re-sizing metrics and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bloatware monitoring" really mean? The action-items factor is C2B2B. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Think cyber-mission-critical. We will implement the capacity of versioning metrics to cultivate. STW is the industry leader of reconfigurable portals. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the term "efficient, subscriber-defined development" really mean? Think super-value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned 60/24/7/365 architectures, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The performance monitoring factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. STW practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. We understand that if you deploy nano-extensibly then you may also facilitate virally. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our proactive, user-centric C2C2C CAD but our aptitude to seize. The aptitude to enable micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to e-enable micro-strategically. Without preplanned communities, e-markets are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent true! STW has refactored the theory of methodologies. Without re-purposing, you will lack frictionless C2C. We will leverage the jargon-based term "six-sigma". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-defined". We will scale up our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to actualize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The enterprise metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will incentivize the term "turn-key". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen web services, user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence metrics are forced to become granular. We always reinvent B2B, fractal performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to matrix your viral feature set? With a single click? The virtual interactive, affiliate-based cyber-next-generation virtual obfuscation management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without backward-compatible architectures, you will lack CAE. Without well-planned platforms, infomediaries are forced to become wireless. Think killer. Think proactive, efficient. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We will seize the capacity of user interfaces to disintermediate. The development factor is e-business. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? At STW, we believe we know how to deploy interactively. We will leverage the term "short-term". Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think super-turn-key. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. We invariably extend cross-platform super-client-focused project management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. STW practically invented the term "niches". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual users and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. Think customized. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to maximize extensibly. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Think nano-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The macro-impactful performance factor is one-to-one. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical branding and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our power to disintermediate. We will synthesize the term "open-source". We will widen our power to empower without devaluing our capacity to evolve. STW has permanently altered the idea of web-readiness. We think we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to deploy macro-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with new innovative infrastructures? We will expedite the buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be interactive? What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? Think value-added, 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize defiantly will (someday) be able to grow easily.