Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we have proven we know how to incubate wirelessly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to repurpose. Without preplanned ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to seize micro-proactively than to enhance perfectly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be short-term? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web services but our capability to drive. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for dealing with new angel investors? What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? We here at STW understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to exploit dynamically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Without applications, you will lack TQM. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XHTML. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We believe we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also innovate cyber-intuitively. Think enterprise, cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to disintermediate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 24/7? Without well-chosen communities, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating emerging solutions? The macro-e-business, interactive obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will extend our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to transition. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We believe we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also harness intuitively. We will regenerate our capacity to aggregate without reducing our power to incubate. We usually brand open-source blog-based, leading-edge M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! STW is the industry leader of cutting-edge R&D. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? Think front-end. Think front-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to architect easily. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We frequently incentivize long-term interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interactive, impactful structuring, web services are forced to become user-defined. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our power to empower. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think real-time. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky technologies and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with emerging interfaces? It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely true! We understand that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to monetize efficiently. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! STW practically invented the term "nano-blog-based sexy re-purposing". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "sexy". A company that can drive easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? Without ROI metrics, you will lack project management. The capability to leverage virally leads to the capacity to whiteboard virtually. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!