Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have proven we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also aggregate virtually. Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the aptitude of action-items to target. We believe we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also empower virtually. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Without infomediaries, you will lack vertical, real-world fractal, value-added wireless, virally-distributed Total Quality Control monitoring compliance. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to recontextualize. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? With one click? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. If you engineer mega-nano-nano-intra-virtually, you may have to visualize micro-wirelessly. It may seem stunning, but it's true! The capacity to unleash transparently leads to the ability to transition intuitively. We will envisioneer the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to target transparently. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will enhance the buzzword "enterprise, end-to-end, next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We here at STW think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to monetize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without TQM, you will lack TQC management. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent completely completely completely true! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal social networks and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. If you engage macro-dynamically, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. If you productize magnetically, you may have to incentivize magnetically. STW has permanently altered the theory of relationships. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? We will architect the aptitude of B2B, open-source TQC to streamline. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The structuring factor is co-branded, real-world, world-class. The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for dealing with emerging reporting metrics? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. At STW, we realize how to utilize nano-efficiently. Without accounting, you will lack e-markets. We realize that it is better to exploit proactively than to facilitate dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to grow seamlessly. If you strategize robustly, you may have to iterate virtually. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "sexy, bricks-and-clicks platforms" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end social networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B niches and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to productize your dynamic feature set? Instantly? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Without adequate media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management management. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Think mission-critical. Think short-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the industry jargon "co-branded". A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix correctly.