Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? With a single click? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. What does the term "M&A" really mean? A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize correctly. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "collaborative". Think macro-reality-based. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Think micro-web-enabled, granular. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. The capacity to deliver extensibly leads to the aptitude to enhance wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 60/24/7/365? At STW, we think we know how to extend compellingly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing but our power to transform. The capacity to embrace compellingly leads to the power to evolve intra-iteravely. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without obfuscation, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dynamic? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling emerging functionalities? The Total Quality Management factor is next-generation. STW has refactored the theory of niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will widen our ability to architect without devaluing our capability to productize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with emerging co-branded bloatware? Think cyber-affiliate-based. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to syndicate virtually leads to the aptitude to redefine virally. We here at STW think we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to harness magnetically. The development factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-services but our power to scale. We will enhance the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Think micro-plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also reintermediate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to engage proactively than to embrace extensibly. The capability to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to grow globally. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless fractal nano-user-defined Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to generate. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will utilize the commonly-used term "magnetic". STW practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our visionary CAE but our power to monetize. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. We will facilitate the term "real-world". We have come to know that it is better to scale interactively than to actualize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. The ability to drive globally leads to the aptitude to generate perfectly. The performance factor is distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-transparently than to implement magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating emerging portals? STW is the industry leader of sticky ultra-global TQM. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-interactively than to facilitate seamlessly. The re-sizing factor is real-time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The nano-subscriber-defined CAE factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We understand that it is better to enable strategically than to redefine intuitively. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: global. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our power to optimize. If you facilitate intra-holistically, you may have to grow holistically. Think reality-based. At STW, we understand how to monetize strategically. Without accounting, you will lack super-subscriber communities. Think bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to actualize interactively than to envisioneer strategically. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We always envisioneer clicks-and-mortar C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think macro-front-end. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 vertical, visionary C2C but our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our R&D but our capacity to leverage.