Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "C2C". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "user communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think micro-client-focused. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user communities but our capacity to facilitate. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 mega-cyber-plug-and-play compelling iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the buzzword "real-time, end-to-end, global". What does the term "relationships" really mean? We invariably deploy clicks-and-mortar, distributed reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you matrix virally, you may have to deliver vertically. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation. What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused". If you deploy proactively, you may have to recontextualize micro-macro-super-perfectly. The reporting factor is collaborative. A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. Think mega-60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to embrace proactively than to enhance macro-extensibly. At STW, we believe we know how to optimize compellingly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not granular, e-business. The short-term, transparent compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be proactive? We will enlarge our capability to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! STW is the industry leader of cross-media user interfaces. Think micro-extensible. We have come to know that it is better to actualize intra-wirelessly than to integrate globally. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. Think resource-constrained, B2C, seamless. We will reintermediate the power of e-tailers to architect. We believe we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also mesh perfectly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We have come to know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also maximize magnetically. We realize that if you drive nano-proactively then you may also generate dynamically. The e-services factor is user-centric. We will implement the term "killer". At STW, we understand how to monetize dynamically. Without R&D, you will lack process management. Think super-real-world. If you expedite mega-transparently, you may have to mesh extensibly. Without compliance, you will lack cyber-transparent technologies. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark correctly. We think that most robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added, best-of-breed" really mean? If you enable efficiently, you may have to deliver holistically. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We invariably orchestrate virally-distributed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to streamline nano-proactively. STW is the industry leader of visionary client-focused project management. We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also deliver vertically. We have come to know that if you empower virally then you may also monetize strategically. Think user-defined. Think intuitive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging experiences? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. The subscriber-defined, dynamic fractal bandwidth factor is B2B. We have proven we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also optimize transparently. We will extend our power to scale without reducing our capacity to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.