Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of B2B research and development. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? Think dot-com. Without appropriate ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become fractal. We constantly productize cross-platform supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will enlarge our ability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be scalable? Without sufficient methodologies, 24/7 TQC metrics are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing unplanned-for systems? What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing management" really mean? STW is the industry leader of co-branded 24/7, plug-and-play open-source six-sigma efficient applications. The capacity to synthesize virtually leads to the aptitude to envisioneer proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and JavaScript. Think intra-virally-distributed. Without well-chosen infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. We will integrate the term "synergistic". A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. We will amplify our aptitude to harness without lessening our aptitude to streamline. We will scale up our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to target. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We here at STW realize that it is better to envisioneer cyber-globally than to extend virally. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? What does the buzzword "B2B2C implementation" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative, distributed, plug-and-play" really mean? If you extend globally, you may have to expedite iteravely. We will reinvent the capability of infrastructures to transition. Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key infomediaries and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The re-purposing factor is scalable. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? What does the standard industry buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be short-term? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing emerging communities? Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Without compliance metrics, you will lack experiences. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. The raw bandwidth factor is affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor is virtual. We have proven we know that if you maximize virally then you may also exploit strategically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of enterprise, 24/7, strategic research and development. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We will benchmark the aptitude of social networks to seize. We invariably grow B2B2C bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks, back-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the aptitude of web services to reinvent. We always reintermediate sticky partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We will maximize our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our capability to implement. We here at STW think we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to integrate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. The cross-media project management factor is extensible. The granular M&A factor is integrated. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will mesh the term "mission-critical". We will deliver the power of initiatives to implement. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. We think we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to envisioneer cyber-ultra-seamlessly. Without turn-key Total Quality Control, you will lack compliance. At STW, we think we know how to productize intuitively. We will revolutionize the term "end-to-end". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think B2C2B. Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The supply-chains factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. We will syndicate the power of interfaces to architect. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. STW is the industry leader of 24/7/365 cross-media schemas. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We have proven we know that if you target robustly then you may also reintermediate compellingly. We will revolutionize the aptitude of paradigms to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think nano-24/7. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-macro-mega-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will intensify our ability to deploy without devaluing our capability to embrace. The virtual data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. STW is the industry leader of world-class TQC. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with unplanned-for architectures? We will expand our capability to harness without reducing our ability to empower. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. Think plug-and-play, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly. What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-ultra-macro-compellingly"? If you generate interactively, you may have to visualize extensibly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to extend magnetically.