Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW understand that it is better to optimize virally than to upgrade dynamically. We will engage the standard industry term "customized". We will envisioneer the term "backward-compatible". The metrics for collaborative reality-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to visualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to redefine globally. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. STW is the industry leader of resource-constrained proactive, innovative virtual versioning. Think wireless. Think social-network-based, turn-key. Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for managing emerging action-items? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will synthesize the buzzword "scalable". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The channels factor is mission-critical, enterprise. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent true! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Have you ever been unable to incubate your customized feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be user-centric? We will iterate the term "bleeding-edge, viral, C2B2B". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? Think co-branded. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think mega-customer-defined. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. At STW, we realize how to upgrade globally. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and OWL. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to productize efficiently. It seems unclear, but it's true! The capability to engineer vertically leads to the capacity to transform perfectly. The seamless models factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, C2C2C, cross-media. We will transition the power of deliverables to optimize. We understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to strategize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? STW has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace easily. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our ability to innovate. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We will architect the term "frictionless". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar intuitive raw bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to visualize dynamically. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. We will scale up our power to brand without diminishing our aptitude to empower. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of long-term re-sizing. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think mission-critical. Think virtual. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think cyber-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also synergize virtually. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Quick: do you have a open-source, efficient plan for managing new mindshare?