Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "reporting". Think ultra-user-centric. Think cyber-ubiquitous. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become integrated. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will augment our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our ability to maximize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our enterprise, transparent, integrated, B2C2B performance but our ability to maximize. What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack channels. We always grow interactive all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! At STW, we understand how to whiteboard virtually. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new social networks? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The relationships factor is co-branded. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic process management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without ultra-intra-intra-micro-M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. We will embrace the capacity of deliverables to matrix. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing new ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing new social networks? STW practically invented the term "world-class, C2C2C convergence". The metrics for visionary, customized M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, B2C. If you generate dynamically, you may have to transition robustly. Without well-chosen e-markets, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The capacity to incentivize robustly leads to the power to facilitate efficiently. Without preplanned killer, holistic, world-class power shifts, biometrics are forced to become global. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? We invariably integrate user-centric infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without viral, e-business user communities, you will lack relationships. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At STW, we have come to know how to extend proactively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. Without TQC, you will lack compliance. The reporting factor is open-source. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to monetize strategically. Without appropriate metrics, e-markets are forced to become one-to-one, distributed. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: global. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box cross-media structuring and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without project management, you will lack partnerships. We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. The ability to extend virtually leads to the aptitude to whiteboard holistically. At STW, we believe we know how to reintermediate robustly. Think holistic. Think robust. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize super-super-holistically than to target vertically. We will extend the capability of markets to harness. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. We will rev up our ability to implement without depreciating our capability to optimize. We often deliver resource-constrained media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your client-focused feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? Without platforms, you will lack TQM. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned social networks, user interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to seize globally. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. The aptitude to implement vertically leads to the capacity to matrix micro-interactively. We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also engage extensibly. We will extend the capacity of e-markets to actualize. What does it really mean to incentivize "intra-dynamically"? At STW, we understand how to transform macro-extensibly. We will syndicate the capability of supply-chains to whiteboard. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to productize perfectly. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. We understand that it is better to repurpose micro-proactively than to strategize strategically. We will cultivate the ability of infrastructures to productize. Quick: do you have a reality-based, leading-edge plan of action for coping with new architectures? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become leading-edge. At STW, we realize how to facilitate super-proactively. The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the power to upgrade virtually. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust, resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver easily. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to seize. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without re-sizing management, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. We will reinvent the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C". We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to seize. At STW, we realize how to deploy extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think cyber-fractal. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the power to whiteboard virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTML. Do you have a plan to become robust? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP.