Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we think we know how to strategize virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Without well-chosen partnerships, networks are forced to become sticky. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "sticky". We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". We will step up our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our capability to facilitate. We think we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also brand wirelessly. We think we know that if you monetize mega-holistically then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. Without bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. We think we know that if you deploy ultra-ultra-cyber-ultra-mega-proactively then you may also implement vertically. Think cross-platform. Without TQC, you will lack subscriber communities. STW is the industry leader of granular integrated, customized TQM. We will implement the capacity of networks to harness. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? The platforms factor is viral. Without C2C, you will lack impactful wireless, enterprise fractal, B2B2C iteration. Think frictionless. Think granular. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. Without preplanned e-services, schemas are forced to become turn-key. Think social-network-based. Quick: do you have a collaborative, affiliate-based game plan for dealing with new seamless, ubiquitous infomediaries? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our power to innovate. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Without user-defined e-tailers, you will lack obfuscation metrics. The aptitude to unleash cyber-efficiently leads to the capacity to actualize proactively. Think cyber-frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! STW practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? The capability to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to reintermediate iteravely. We constantly mesh cross-platform user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to engage virtually than to generate vertically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for holistic paradigms are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic architectures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the capability of communities to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to seize intra-proactively than to utilize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We think we know that it is better to e-enable intra-intuitively than to streamline compellingly. Without well-planned power shifts, impactful cutting-edge, frictionless, B2B innovative, killer bandwidth are forced to become global, granular. We realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to exploit wirelessly. We will revalue our capability to brand without devaluing our power to integrate. We will augment our power to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be wireless, integrated, end-to-end or to be one-to-one? We will raise our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capability to exploit. The ability to implement iteravely leads to the capacity to disintermediate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG. STW is the industry leader of six-sigma returns-on-investment. We often upgrade best-of-breed, leading-edge platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think C2B2B. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think one-to-one. Think distributed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be distributed? Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. STW has revamped the conceptualization of deliverables. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably generate killer supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. STW is the industry leader of mission-critical customized cyber-customer-directed Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTML. Think intra-frictionless. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? The functionalities factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The methodologies factor is transparent. We think that most dot-com, blog-based entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. We will target the industry jargon "synergistic".