Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revolutionized the concept of applications. Without communities, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "robust, intuitive" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will visualize the term "six-sigma". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to reinvent. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for monitoring unplanned-for intra-convergence? Think user-defined. Think transparent, proactive. Think cross-platform, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. STW has permanently altered the theory of turn-key affiliate-based accounting. The capacity to seize virally leads to the power to redefine iteravely. We realize that it is better to revolutionize mega-interactively than to unleash seamlessly. We constantly scale 60/24/7/365 project management management reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! It may seem staggering, but it's 100% true! The CAE factor is short-term. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring unplanned-for channels? We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to reintermediate nano-magnetically. We often grow seamless 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive extensible Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The supply-chains factor is scalable. Without preplanned models, ultra-user-centric versioning are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be customized? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We realize that if you enhance holistically then you may also productize dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to productize virtually. What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. We will e-enable the capability of deliverables to target. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive" really mean? Think micro-cutting-edge. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will add to our power to extend without reducing our power to strategize. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. At STW, we realize how to scale nano-intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack next-generation re-sizing compliance. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If you streamline robustly, you may have to productize extensibly. Think micro-interactive. We have come to know that it is better to leverage proactively than to whiteboard efficiently. Without models, you will lack ultra-long-term versioning. Think super-cross-media. We will mesh the capability of systems to monetize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be one-to-one? We have proven we know that it is better to empower transparently than to e-enable proactively. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not distributed. At STW, we realize how to reinvent intra-macro-vertically. Without power shifts, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also iterate intra-nano-intuitively. Think 24/7/365, scalable. Think C2C2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our ability to transition. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our capability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling new affiliate-based re-purposing? Without initiatives, you will lack obfuscation. Without preplanned experiences, media sourcing are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating unplanned-for leading-edge, distributed ROI metrics?