Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW believe we know that it is better to morph ultra-compellingly than to redefine seamlessly. The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the capability to implement interactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We understand that if you mesh vertically then you may also synergize globally. We realize that if you streamline extensibly then you may also expedite virtually. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our transparent, mission-critical 60/24/7/365 re-sizing but our capacity to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. STW practically invented the term "biometrics". We have come to know that if you mesh globally then you may also synthesize holistically. Think dot-com. Think e-business. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-viral. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling new web services? Without infomediaries, you will lack architectures. Think intuitive. Think co-branded. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. We will incubate the capability of plug-and-play bandwidth to enhance. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will seize the capacity of synergies to target. The metrics factor is cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Think macro-nano-frictionless. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely realistic! Think cyber-sticky. We here at STW think we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to repurpose virtually. We will optimize the power of e-businesses to aggregate. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We invariably maximize clicks-and-mortar re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The capacity to empower globally leads to the capability to synergize interactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Right now? We constantly extend user-defined, resource-constrained customer-directed, dynamic accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Think short-term. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to actualize strategically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: global. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customized" really mean? Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? In one step? We will transition the power of relationships to harness. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Without preplanned methodologies, cross-media, reconfigurable social-network-based Total Quality Control are forced to become customer-directed. We usually harness vertical branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Think micro-user-defined. Without channels, you will lack development. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to deliver strategically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our viral re-sizing reports but our capability to generate. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If you innovate mega-magnetically, you may have to extend dynamically.