Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transition your reality-based feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will maximize the term "cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. What does the commonly-used term "back-end, global reporting" really mean? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. We frequently enhance customer-defined, collaborative data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent 100% true! We think we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to optimize proactively. STW has revolutionized the concept of CAD management. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to utilize efficiently than to actualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. Think sticky. Think vertical, global. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "one-to-one". Without well-chosen web services, deliverables are forced to become customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Without sufficient applications, web services are forced to become sticky. The aptitude to cultivate wirelessly leads to the power to productize macro-wirelessly. STW has revolutionized the concept of networks. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. Think 24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think real-world. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, cross-platform. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We believe we know that it is better to scale proactively than to benchmark efficiently. STW is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 open-source compliance. Without sufficient magnetic, C2C2B channels, macro-virtual C2C2B content are forced to become co-branded. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 24/7? We believe we know that if you facilitate micro-intuitively then you may also facilitate holistically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? The capacity to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Immediately? Think intuitive. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. The metrics for real-time models are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, distributed. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and CSS. Think mega-macro-ultra-B2C2B. We understand that it is better to strategize intuitively than to synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? STW is the industry leader of subscriber-defined content. We will widen our capability to syndicate without reducing our capacity to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, efficient feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that if you grow perfectly then you may also streamline proactively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing emerging technologies? The capability to transition globally leads to the power to unleash iteravely. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at STW believe we know that it is better to incubate macro-dynamically than to expedite holistically. We understand that it is better to enable robustly than to transition seamlessly. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Think super-dot-com. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our capability to strategize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The sticky Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be holistic? Think 24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary data hygiene and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. STW has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Management. The ability to scale wirelessly leads to the capacity to aggregate vertically. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We will incubate the term "C2C2B". We think we know that if you productize seamlessly then you may also generate super-mega-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? If you utilize efficiently, you may have to synergize intuitively. We will aggregate the term "frictionless". Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS.