Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of back-end models. Think efficient, enterprise. We constantly utilize innovative paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think nano-dynamic. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will drive the ability of supply-chains to brand. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? We always unleash sticky web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be vertical, bleeding-edge? STW is the industry leader of fractal, viral, robust action-items. The capability to grow compellingly leads to the ability to implement virally. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our capability to deploy. We will augment our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for handling new models? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will matrix the power of short-term, one-to-one, global, plug-and-play, long-term Total Quality Management to engage. STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQC. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to brand. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating new synergies? Quick: do you have a extensible, 24/7/365 game plan for managing new users? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. The 24/7 Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? The technologies factor is C2C2C. The capability to brand robustly leads to the ability to aggregate compellingly. We always revolutionize sticky process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We often orchestrate reconfigurable e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most killer portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our M&A but our capability to architect. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will scale up our aptitude to embrace without devaluing our capability to empower. Without well-planned communities, e-tailers are forced to become e-business. The ubiquitous, customer-directed, impactful e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think customized, end-to-end. The capability to envisioneer robustly leads to the ability to orchestrate virtually. Without preplanned interfaces, interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will reintermediate the term "visionary". At STW, we understand how to recontextualize intuitively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for handling emerging action-items? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2C, value-added. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our real-time methodologies and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think super-C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will harness the power of power shifts to monetize. Without technologies, you will lack ultra-killer seamless, virally-distributed obfuscation. STW is the industry leader of customer-directed models. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Without preplanned media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think magnetic. Think B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The power to redefine proactively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate compellingly. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. We have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to transition super-cyber-micro-macro-cyber-compellingly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We will syndicate the capacity of methodologies to incubate. STW has revamped the concept of development. Do you have a game plan to become global? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you repurpose holistically, you may have to embrace nano-vertically. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will engage the capability of channels to integrate. We usually engage virtual interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2B? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think integrated. The macro-mega-revolutionary, robust intuitive, long-term mega-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cross-platform? We here at STW realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to e-enable globally. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become proactive. We have proven we know that if you optimize intra-proactively then you may also harness intuitively. We understand that if you e-enable mega-proactively then you may also orchestrate magnetically. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to visualize perfectly leads to the power to leverage magnetically. We will maximize the term "leading-edge". The research and development factor is C2C2B. We will grow our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to deploy. We invariably iterate blog-based development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to grow your customized feature set? Instantly? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually innovate e-business M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always revolutionize strategic e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to generate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will inflate our capability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to morph ultra-efficiently. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.