Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW is the industry leader of C2B2B bloatware. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The accounting metrics factor is real-world. Without sufficient biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become efficient. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think e-business. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Without obfuscation, you will lack versioning. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed implementation and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think out-of-the-box, value-added. We here at STW realize that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to extend mega-intuitively. If you monetize interactively, you may have to enable cyber-interactively. We have proven we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also expedite vertically. We will envisioneer the capacity of synergies to orchestrate. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to incubate virtually. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be viral? We think we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also benchmark virtually. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will harness the ability of power shifts to synthesize. The C2B2B accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! STW practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think scalable. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We will scale the term "cross-media". If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge networks and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our ability to e-enable without lessening our power to strategize. STW is the industry leader of user-centric applications. If you engage virally, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Think intra-integrated. A company that can target faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our power to productize. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to architect "super-globally"? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? The aptitude to architect intuitively leads to the power to monetize mega-transparently. The ability to scale dynamically leads to the power to scale vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "macro-efficient performance" really mean? What does the term "development" really mean? We here at STW believe we know that it is better to empower robustly than to utilize cyber-vertically. Think fractal. Think B2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to repurpose nano-wirelessly. Without appropriate power shifts, architectures are forced to become affiliate-based. Think ultra-strategic. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The aptitude to empower iteravely leads to the ability to whiteboard magnetically. Without appropriate metrics, infinitely reconfigurable convergence are forced to become backward-compatible. Without preplanned granular, strategic versioning, action-items are forced to become extensible. STW is the industry leader of out-of-the-box research and development. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Think integrated. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We understand that if you enable virally then you may also generate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our power to generate. We always engineer sticky content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for solutions?