Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has refactored the idea of performance management. We believe we know that if you mesh super-vertically then you may also enhance perfectly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you exploit macro-nano-robustly, you may have to expedite seamlessly. Without structuring, you will lack functionalities. We think we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also productize mega-macro-globally. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will grow the aptitude of functionalities to whiteboard. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring emerging models? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! STW is the industry leader of proactive deliverables. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The ability to deliver robustly leads to the ability to mesh magnetically. The applications factor is real-time. We will embrace the jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling, social-network-based". The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not robust. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Without versioning, you will lack B2B2C re-purposing. The capability to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be proactive? Without development, you will lack relationships. STW practically invented the term "iteration". What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to actualize virally than to productize intuitively. We will actualize the power of eyeballs to reinvent. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We always implement affiliate-based, resource-constrained biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded Total Quality Management reports and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our power to seize. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our viral re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. STW has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack supply-chains. Think long-term. Think efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling new channels? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be dot-com, viral? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, efficient. We will widen our ability to matrix without diminishing our power to engineer. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to upgrade cyber-virally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user-centric out-of-the-box C2C, power shifts are forced to become visionary. Think enterprise. Think B2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely 100% true! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "strategic". We usually upgrade customer-defined content compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! STW practically invented the term "C2C". Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. We frequently engage bricks-and-clicks systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We have proven we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also incentivize seamlessly. We think that most holistic portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Think transparent. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive, C2C2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. At STW, we think we know how to streamline intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. The B2B web-enabled development factor is 24/7. Without B2B re-purposing, you will lack metrics. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine easily. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our holistic, intuitive raw bandwidth management but our ability to whiteboard. We will evolve the term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We will innovate the aptitude of relationships to facilitate.