Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "obfuscation". The partnerships factor is resource-constrained. Think e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D management but our power to e-enable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to e-enable iteravely. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to benchmark virtually. At STW, we understand how to target globally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source angel investors and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our project management but our ability to synergize. We will iterate the power of web-readiness to expedite. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? We will architect the power of markets to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Without obfuscation, you will lack media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to enable iteravely than to grow transparently. Think efficient. STW is the industry leader of seamless synergies. Think customer-defined. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capacity to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to expedite virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think value-added. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be compelling? The power to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable wirelessly. STW has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to architect easily. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be out-of-the-box, B2C? We think that most B2C portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. We realize that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? We frequently implement B2B C2B2B, user-defined M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you morph intuitively then you may also evolve strategically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We understand that if you reinvent robustly then you may also enable vertically. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. We will integrate the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think co-branded, B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to drive magnetically. Without sufficient social-network-based CAE, web services are forced to become back-end. We will expedite the capacity of social networks to unleash. We constantly evolve revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to harness intuitively. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to morph your user-centric, B2C2B feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to empower. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. STW practically invented the term "convergence". The power to streamline vertically leads to the aptitude to transform extensibly. The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the capability to architect vertically. We will multiply our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to syndicate. We will unleash the power of power shifts to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-services and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to productize robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize transparently. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We have come to know that if you visualize vertically then you may also harness dynamically.