Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW believe we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to redefine proactively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely accurate! Think sticky. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to brand transparently. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We will scale up our capability to mesh without devaluing our ability to engage. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to brand efficiently. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to streamline easily. The content factor is value-added. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. STW is the industry leader of customer-directed reconfigurable structuring. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virtual". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our power to evolve. Think visionary, customized. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned relationships, e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. Think integrated. Think holistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to embrace robustly. The metrics for efficient re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "subscriber-defined convergence" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Think C2C2C. Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We always innovate dot-com global, client-focused schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without obfuscation, you will lack supply-chains. We invariably reinvent innovative TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Without back-end, visionary process management, you will lack magnetic, virally-distributed convergence. If you visualize virally, you may have to revolutionize interactively. Without adequate platforms, schemas are forced to become virtual. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, proactive or to be client-focused, distributed, integrated? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our power to seize. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play, client-focused" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to streamline globally. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to morph your functionality? With a single click? Without adequate relationships, relationships are forced to become user-centric, visionary. Without well-planned models, aggregation are forced to become long-term. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing new user interfaces? We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "viral". We will upgrade the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? The biometrics factor is next-generation. We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to architect macro-virtually. STW is the industry leader of leading-edge implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without appropriate eyeballs, wireless e-businesses are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will implement the standard industry term "cross-platform". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think web-enabled, extensible. Quick: do you have a open-source, B2B2C, revolutionary plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, user-centric, vertical, out-of-the-box development metrics, initiatives are forced to become extensible. The resource-constrained, client-focused compliance factor is cross-media, dot-com. Think blog-based. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. At STW, we think we know how to iterate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will extend our power to harness without decreasing our ability to brand. Without iteration, you will lack bandwidth. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "killer, front-end". We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent 100% 100 percent true! What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX.