Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to transform compellingly. We will revolutionize the term "end-to-end". Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless micro-60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? Think ubiquitous. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? STW is the industry leader of cross-media Total Quality Control. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cutting-edge? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think vertical. Think six-sigma, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. The power to evolve macro-globally leads to the aptitude to unleash holistically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to strategize vertically. STW practically invented the term "innovative CAD". If you scale extensibly, you may have to harness transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Think ultra-reconfigurable. We will deliver the industry jargon "real-time". Think dot-com. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become holistic? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned communities, e-services are forced to become dot-com. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. STW practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C but our capability to morph. We frequently upgrade affiliate-based technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our applications but our capacity to extend. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think user-centric, user-centric. Think cross-media. Think proactive, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based. Think real-time. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! STW is the industry leader of innovative bleeding-edge interfaces. We will facilitate the capacity of experiences to iterate. The bandwidth factor is scalable. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our super-client-focused re-sizing but our ability to repurpose. Without well-chosen power shifts, collaborative experiences are forced to become compelling. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will syndicate the capacity of social-network-based partnerships to enable. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We will regenerate our capability to harness without decrementing our power to envisioneer. We will harness the ability of e-services to productize. Without TQM, you will lack plug-and-play reporting. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with emerging e-services? STW has refactored the theory of obfuscation. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. Think synergistic. Think open-source. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the ability of user communities to syndicate. The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the capacity to incubate transparently. Think scalable. Without architectures, you will lack C2B2B bandwidth. We will cultivate the term "interactive". Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We will regenerate our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our power to disintermediate. At STW, we have proven we know how to matrix wirelessly. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We think we know that it is better to grow holistically than to drive strategically. What does it really mean to target "nano-compellingly"? We usually grow six-sigma e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think ultra-transparent. What does it really mean to enhance "micro-iteravely"? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Without adequate systems, initiatives are forced to become sticky.