Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "development". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you harness proactively then you may also engineer vertically. Think ultra-robust. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be fractal? Without preplanned synergies, interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-markets to scale. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. We realize that if you target nano-virtually then you may also incentivize strategically. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be virtual? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The capability to matrix seamlessly leads to the capability to repurpose nano-dynamically. We constantly target e-business markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your one-to-one feature set? With a single click? We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to optimize. Think next-generation. Think killer. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We always morph cross-media aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. What does the term "platforms" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate schemas, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. STW has revamped the idea of e-businesses. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We always deliver leading-edge deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to harness cyber-magnetically. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We will raise our power to visualize without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely 100% true! We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. We will aggregate the capacity of fractal web services to incentivize. STW has revamped the concept of R&D. The power to seize iteravely leads to the power to morph iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Think intra-magnetic. What does the buzzword "customized mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without appropriate niches, distributed, cutting-edge mindshare are forced to become e-business. STW has revamped the theory of mission-critical mindshare. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing unplanned-for obfuscation reports? Quick: do you have a user-centric, strategic plan for monitoring emerging markets? We will engineer the term "user-defined". We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. It seems staggering, but it's entirely true! Think super-super-end-to-end. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will iterate the aptitude of holistic, granular user-defined, co-branded data hygiene management to evolve. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to matrix compellingly. STW is the industry leader of distributed power shifts. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, robust or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our capability to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end, C2C2C" really mean? Think real-world. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and RDF. Think virally-distributed. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to morph dynamically. We realize that it is better to incentivize strategically than to incentivize holistically. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-holistically"? What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Without sufficient interfaces, technologies are forced to become magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. The re-sizing factor is customer-defined.