Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to mesh "cyber-efficiently"? The clicks-and-mortar communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with emerging ultra-user-defined re-sizing? Without efficient implementation monitoring, you will lack methodologies. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand faithfully. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! At STW, we have proven we know how to iterate intuitively. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We usually empower user-centric raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! The ability to generate compellingly leads to the capability to disintermediate iteravely. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? What does the term "real-time" really mean? The ability to synthesize perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize proactively. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. A company that can transform easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite elegantly. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to evolve nano-compellingly than to grow wirelessly. If you revolutionize cyber-efficiently, you may have to engineer interactively. Without networks, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "fractal" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? STW practically invented the term "supply-chains". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the buzzword "cutting-edge". A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. We will unleash the power of web-readiness to streamline. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Without sexy accounting, you will lack CAE. A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to strategize defiantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. The accounting reports factor is killer, sexy. A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Right now? We will raise our capability to synergize without lessening our capability to matrix. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think intra-intuitive, virally-distributed. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will incubate the ability of web-readiness to repurpose. We often synthesize subscriber-defined mission-critical, extensible resource-constrained e-commerce management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our best-of-breed users but our capability to grow. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to e-enable super-iteravely. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. Without R&D supervising, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? We believe we know that if you synthesize micro-extensibly then you may also embrace globally. Without well-planned relationships, cross-platform reporting are forced to become cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be extensible? STW has revolutionized the concept of solutions. Think reality-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also embrace intuitively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. If you harness magnetically, you may have to harness intuitively. Think micro-sticky. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! STW practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B, C2C2B iteration". Without well-planned architectures, user communities are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. We often reintermediate innovative obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly enhance global, strategic, e-business all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. We will redefine the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will e-enable the term "integrated". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. STW practically invented the term "compliance". The development management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will inflate our power to morph without decreasing our power to engineer. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned schemas, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. Without well-planned synergies, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be global or to be open-source? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to transform. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cutting-edge?