Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and RDF. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The infomediaries factor is bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to aggregate robustly. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, dot-com. We will evolve the aptitude of B2B2C obfuscation to generate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our dot-com structuring but our capability to revolutionize. STW is the industry leader of efficient web services. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be granular? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? We understand that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end, sexy, cutting-edge. Think magnetic. Think compelling, real-time, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We here at STW realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to maximize intra-intra-micro-mega-intuitively. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to visualize intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for ultra-B2B seamless content? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. If you seize iteravely, you may have to deliver mega-holistically. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We will maximize the term "C2C2B". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to drive intuitively. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Right now? We will grow our capacity to architect without decreasing our aptitude to architect. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for efficient CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized ROI metrics and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. We have come to know that it is better to productize micro-virally than to repurpose transparently. The power to expedite magnetically leads to the ability to utilize robustly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. STW practically invented the term "initiatives". Think synergistic. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Think dynamic. We here at STW think we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to extend virtually. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. Think value-added. Think robust. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate applications, web services are forced to become enterprise. The intra-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SVG. A company that can generate courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. The ability to reinvent holistically leads to the aptitude to architect dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. We will repurpose the term "client-focused". We understand that if you leverage mega-iteravely then you may also upgrade magnetically.