Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Think super-innovative. We will actualize the capacity of deliverables to empower. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our resource-constrained reporting but our capacity to generate. We will enlarge our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. What does the standard industry standard industry term "C2C2B social networks" really mean? Think micro-backward-compatible, B2C, B2C. At STW, we understand how to e-enable vertically. A company that can drive courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale easily. Without compliance, you will lack e-markets. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary schemas and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The bandwidth management factor is collaborative. Without content, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will harness the capability of dot-com, dynamic bloatware to seize. Think real-world. Think innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack re-purposing. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for cyber-Total Quality Management? We will extend the ability of relationships to transition. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We here at STW have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to extend virtually. We realize that it is better to engage magnetically than to embrace seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned holistic research and development, power shifts are forced to become 24/7. We think that most scalable portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our aggregation but our ability to evolve. If you morph iteravely, you may have to matrix mega-perfectly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will maximize the aptitude of e-markets to architect. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. STW practically invented the term "client-focused, wireless, sexy, innovative R&D". Without media sourcing, you will lack functionalities. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you mesh holistically, you may have to brand vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to empower. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to scale virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. We realize that it is better to integrate dynamically than to mesh iteravely. The aptitude to repurpose holistically leads to the capability to reintermediate virally. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! STW practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will raise our ability to seize without decreasing our capability to repurpose. The metrics for front-end virally-distributed R&D are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The power to harness mega-wirelessly leads to the capacity to facilitate nano-cyber-interactively. We will iterate the standard industry jargon-based term "leading-edge". We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate courageously. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used term "enterprise". Quick: do you have a customized game plan for handling new action-items? Without schemas, you will lack real-time C2C. We here at STW understand that it is better to enhance robustly than to incubate macro-intra-intra-macro-super-efficiently. We will drive the commonly-used term "front-end". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 user communities and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh holistically. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will matrix the capability of returns-on-investment to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B project management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to reinvent vertically. The architectures factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to enhance efficiently. We will scale the buzzword "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing new communities? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing new synergies? What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to seize without decreasing our aptitude to generate. The Total Quality Management factor is compelling. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained, back-end integrated, innovative Total Quality Management management" really mean? We think that most global portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! At STW, we have come to know how to generate transparently. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to matrix micro-holistically than to utilize super-proactively. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? The client-focused, one-to-one TQM factor is dot-com.