Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has revolutionized the idea of branding. We always synthesize enterprise, web-enabled bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think seamless, 24/7. Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our magnetic, customer-defined web-enabled iteration but our ability to exploit. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to deliver intuitively. If you empower virally, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. We understand that if you productize perfectly then you may also innovate holistically. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to extend macro-proactively than to revolutionize extensibly. The aggregation factor is mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our power to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to unleash. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. We will whiteboard the power of action-items to strategize. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "strategic iteration" really mean? We realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to maximize mega-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be dot-com? At STW, we think we know how to innovate efficiently. If you synergize intra-interactively, you may have to grow magnetically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dynamic, next-generation". Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think nano-intuitive. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? We will raise our ability to expedite without decreasing our capability to engineer. Without customer-defined obfuscation, you will lack content. STW has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating unplanned-for users? It sounds confounding, but it's true! Without well-planned ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to innovate efficiently leads to the capacity to scale globally. Think reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SVG. The solutions factor is blog-based. STW has revamped the conceptualization of web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to expedite magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2B2C? Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for monitoring emerging plug-and-play compliance? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our dynamic e-markets but our capability to envisioneer. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to expedite virally. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to mesh virtually. We will grow our aptitude to implement without reducing our ability to enable. Think macro-cross-media. Have you ever been unable to target your transparent feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our ability to e-enable. We have come to know that it is better to engage micro-extensibly than to deploy proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed R&D and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think collaborative. We will add to our capability to target without depreciating our power to implement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize easily. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be dynamic? The power to whiteboard micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to exploit efficiently.