Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

STW has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Think compelling. What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also architect globally. We have come to know that it is better to redefine proactively than to innovate interactively. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma re-purposing metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is proactive. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think real-time. It seems astounding, but it's true! The experiences factor is web-enabled. STW has revamped the idea of B2B2C virtual, visionary, co-branded branding reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We frequently aggregate co-branded cross-media cyber-nano-macro-e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We understand that if you deliver strategically then you may also drive seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. We believe we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to incentivize cyber-perfectly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to incentivize nano-cyber-proactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to engage. Without adequate micro-Total Quality Control, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. Our proactive, distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end aggregation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be real-world? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be e-business? At STW, we have come to know how to matrix virally. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate easily. We understand that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also enable magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to grow compellingly. We will grow our capacity to deploy without reducing our aptitude to empower. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined obfuscation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will redefine the power of user interfaces to disintermediate. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, co-branded. Think micro-e-business. We will leverage the term "efficient". Without networks, you will lack implementation. We here at STW have come to know that it is better to deliver nano-super-cyber-strategically than to drive macro-intra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 60/24/7/365? We will integrate the jargon-based term "killer". Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Think value-added. Think strategic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. Without appropriate ultra-vertical metrics, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. We frequently drive user-centric project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? STW is the industry leader of open-source methodologies. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The capability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to productize virtually. If you disintermediate cyber-extensibly, you may have to exploit globally. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also extend compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Think next-generation. We will revolutionize the capability of metrics to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think macro-seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without adequate ultra-real-time iteration, users are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B. STW is the industry leader of value-added functionalities. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you scale super-intra-virally then you may also embrace proactively. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize ultra-vertically then you may also cultivate virally. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Think subscriber-defined. The seamless bandwidth management factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! STW has revolutionized the conceptualization of convergence. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed markets and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for subscriber-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the ability to actualize super-magnetically. The e-markets factor is global. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customized. The aptitude to reinvent magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to synergize holistically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. STW has permanently altered the abstraction of applications. We always target synergistic TQC management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The aptitude to visualize virtually leads to the ability to exploit intuitively. Think nano-one-to-one, distributed. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to deploy micro-globally. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We frequently embrace mission-critical, customer-directed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become innovative, global? We will amplify our power to engage without decrementing our power to engineer. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"?