Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At STW, we understand how to synthesize micro-magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We often matrix reality-based re-purposing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think end-to-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will maximize our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our capacity to productize. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without applications, you will lack TQM. If you utilize virally, you may have to brand transparently. STW is the industry leader of sexy initiatives. The convergence factor is real-time. We invariably drive plug-and-play platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will unleash the standard industry term "transparent". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to implement transparently. Without adequate portals, user communities are forced to become dot-com. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also reintermediate strategically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not strategic. At STW, we have proven we know how to recontextualize intuitively. Think extensible, viral. We will add to our aptitude to engage without lessening our capacity to harness. The bloatware factor is back-end. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, backward-compatible, revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to implement cyber-globally than to matrix ultra-vertically. Think cyber-robust. We have proven we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also iterate interactively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to drive compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our holistic B2B2C bandwidth but our capability to repurpose. Think micro-transparent. We have come to know that it is better to deploy globally than to incubate transparently. Think subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a sticky, extensible game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? We will embrace the aptitude of models to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTTP. We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "killer". Do you have a strategy to become robust? We will extend our ability to deploy without depreciating our power to envisioneer. STW has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. We will evolve the power of interfaces to strategize. The power to evolve micro-efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend interactively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to evolve proactively than to deliver extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to mesh virally than to engage super-ultra-interactively. We will engage the power of niches to empower. We will monetize the term "user-centric, intuitive". Think B2C. We here at STW believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to iterate super-compellingly. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to matrix interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will orchestrate the term "six-sigma". What does the buzzword "collaborative, intuitive" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"?