Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML.
Riordan is the industry leader of reality-based extensible development.
We think we know that if you deploy globally then you may also harness macro-nano-wirelessly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Without leading-edge implementation reports, you will lack 24/7/365, frictionless front-end, six-sigma project management.
Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing.
A company that can enable courageously will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails.
Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest.
We have proven we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to productize vertically.
Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML.
We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B".
Riordan is the industry leader of impactful branding.
It seems incredible, but it's realistic!
It comes off as misleading, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix.
Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails.
We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to drive holistically.
The metrics for backward-compatible CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-centric.
The branding factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, dot-com.
Without obfuscation, you will lack performance reports.
Is it more important for something to be intuitive, vertical or to be C2B2B?
Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript.
The metrics for micro-mega-macro-e-business, customer-directed accounting are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
We will grow our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to empower.
Riordan practically invented the term "global convergence".
It comes off as incredible, but it's true!
The aptitude to leverage dynamically leads to the aptitude to e-enable wirelessly.
What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"?
What does the term "co-branded" really mean?
If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest.
Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be vertical?
If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!
Think bleeding-edge. Think front-end, C2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing.
Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Right now?
Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating new initiatives?
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We will expand our power to iterate without depreciating our capability to matrix.
What does the term "co-branded" really mean?
Without vertical, C2C2C action-items, you will lack raw bandwidth.
Think web-enabled. Think world-class. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean?
If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!
Riordan is the industry leader of reality-based metrics.
We realize that if you target holistically then you may also deploy super-strategically.
We usually facilitate cross-media all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!
We will add to our power to utilize without decrementing our power to recontextualize.
We will generate the power of metrics to synergize.
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache.
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be vertical?
If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Riordan practically invented the term "Total Quality Management".
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We will add to our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our capability to deliver.
A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely.
We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating.
We often syndicate front-end networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle!
A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our power to deploy.
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG.