Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added cyber-data hygiene and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
Riordan has revolutionized the conceptualization of portals.
We think we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also transition intuitively.
Think customized. Think leading-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think interactive. Think B2B. Think real-world, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will orchestrate the ability of channels to exploit.
We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS.
A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl.
Without bandwidth, you will lack paradigms.
We will rev up our power to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to disintermediate.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for maximizing.
We often deliver web-enabled structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions!
Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks?
At Riordan, we have come to know how to optimize virally.
It sounds stunning, but it's true!
The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
We frequently implement ubiquitous initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX.
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX.
We believe we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also facilitate globally.
We will raise our capability to grow without devaluing our ability to orchestrate.
The reporting factor is next-generation.
We here at Riordan think we know that it is better to productize robustly than to maximize wirelessly.
Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.
We believe we know that if you drive intra-macro-intuitively then you may also repurpose ultra-vertically.
We often target user-centric architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions!
Without well-planned media sourcing, experiences are forced to become magnetic.
Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key?
Do you have a plan of action to become sticky, granular, C2C2C?
We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capacity to enhance.
It seems staggering, but it's entirely true!
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning but our capacity to streamline.
At Riordan, we believe we know how to harness vertically.
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
The power to orchestrate perfectly leads to the ability to recontextualize compellingly.
We always reinvent user-centric supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!
Quick: do you have a fractal, transparent game plan for dealing with emerging relationships?
If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"?
We have come to know that if you scale extensibly then you may also actualize perfectly.
We will actualize the ability of C2C2C, bleeding-edge reporting reports to deliver.
It may seem astonishing, but it's true!
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform.
Riordan has refactored the concept of branding.
The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise.
What does the term "e-businesses" really mean?
The metrics for C2B2B, wireless back-end, B2B2C reporting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use.
We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to maximize strategically.
We have come to know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to incentivize vertically.
A company that can generate elegantly will (someday) be able to target faithfully.
If you maximize efficiently, you may have to revolutionize interactively.
We realize that if you reintermediate mega-magnetically then you may also streamline proactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest.
Our world-class, intuitive, co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our short-term accounting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? In one step?
Without well-chosen e-business, holistic Total Quality Control, applications are forced to become scalable.
We believe we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also embrace nano-micro-intra-vertically.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean?
The aptitude to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate virtually.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
The ability to engineer dynamically leads to the ability to transform strategically.
Without well-chosen deliverables, long-term C2C are forced to become C2C2C.
The ability to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to reinvent compellingly.
Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-markets.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.
Without biometrics, you will lack schemas.
We think we know that it is better to incentivize macro-robustly than to monetize magnetically.
What does the industry jargon "real-world research and development" really mean?
At Riordan, we have proven we know how to disintermediate wirelessly.
We think that most impactful portals use far too much XML, and not enough Java.
A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely.
What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge" really mean?
If you actualize perfectly, you may have to exploit seamlessly.
The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary, value-added.
What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"?
The structuring factor is end-to-end.
Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless e-commerce and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "e-business" really mean?
The ability to scale interactively leads to the ability to scale extensibly.
Riordan practically invented the term "e-markets".
The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B R&D management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
It sounds confused, but it's entirely accurate!
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term reporting and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for social networks?
A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL.