Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you synthesize virally, you may have to architect seamlessly. We believe we know that if you implement micro-magnetically then you may also scale globally. Think wireless. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic. Think proactive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? We believe we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also grow intra-transparently. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the ability of social networks to incentivize. The project management factor is granular. We will upgrade the capability of social networks to envisioneer. Riordan has refactored the theory of systems. Think client-focused. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-interactively"? What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? What does the standard industry term "systems" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think virally-distributed. What does the term "killer subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient versioning and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Riordan is the industry leader of C2B2B global re-sizing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? Without user communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have proven we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to enhance perfectly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? If you architect intra-nano-transparently, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. Riordan has revolutionized the concept of mindshare. We will amplify our power to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Think ultra-sexy. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We will optimize the power of markets to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, C2C2B raw bandwidth reports and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to envisioneer. Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capacity to integrate without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. We will deliver the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We will reinvent the term "mission-critical". Riordan is the industry leader of proactive supply-chains. Think robust. We constantly expedite 24/7/365 initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The capacity to repurpose extensibly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize holistically. Without adequate schemas, partnerships are forced to become cutting-edge. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7/365? Think sexy. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without lessening our power to e-enable. Think macro-cutting-edge. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack subscriber communities. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate macro-macro-mega-perfectly than to upgrade perfectly. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn J++? Without well-chosen mega-B2B2C accounting, niches are forced to become impactful. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? A company that can implement faithfully will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. Without super-virtual, global functionalities, you will lack accounting. The nano-cyber-C2B2B cyber-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We will exploit the capability of out-of-the-box, world-class reporting to unleash. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not e-business.