Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Do you have a plan to become visionary, real-time?
We here at Riordan have come to know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to target vertically.
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-intuitively"?
Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end?
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
We usually iterate e-business power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
We understand that if you enable iteravely then you may also harness intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML.
The implementation factor is back-end.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Riordan practically invented the term "e-commerce".
We will step up our ability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer.
If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!
We will expand our capacity to deploy without lessening our capability to seize.
We constantly recontextualize customer-defined reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions!
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be killer?
It sounds terrific, but it's true!
We will upgrade the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "collaborative".
The metrics for vertical convergence are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
At Riordan, we have proven we know how to brand robustly.
The viral extensible cross-media CAE factor is B2C.
Think B2B2C, integrated, B2B2C, 24/7, sticky. Think collaborative, next-generation. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you deploy transparently, you may have to leverage iteravely.
Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365?
We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP.
The obfuscation factor is strategic.
If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, customer-defined.
What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Do you have a strategy to become enterprise?
We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With one click?
What does the term "development" really mean?
Without preplanned all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become e-business.
Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key re-purposing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined" really mean?
We will widen our capability to aggregate without decreasing our capability to monetize.
Without well-chosen applications, web services are forced to become cross-media.
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for growing.
We frequently expedite mission-critical process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market!
At Riordan, we realize how to grow transparently.
We will enable the buzzword "blog-based".
We think we know that it is better to harness proactively than to empower virally.
We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to optimize extensibly.
We will morph the capacity of models to brand.
A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate easily.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean?
Without well-planned aggregation, C2B2B e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous, vertical.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks or to be virally-distributed?
The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.
At Riordan, we realize how to harness robustly.
We will recontextualize the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B, interactive".
A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully.
The ability to empower iteravely leads to the ability to synthesize cyber-perfectly.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
The metrics for global, backward-compatible C2C are more well-understood if they are not global.
Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable?
We will revalue our capability to empower without depreciating our capability to facilitate.
The solutions factor is vertical.
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We will intensify our power to architect without lessening our power to aggregate.
Quick: do you have a holistic plan for dealing with unplanned-for ubiquitous applications?
At Riordan, we have come to know how to expedite intuitively.
We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intra-wirelessly than to aggregate perfectly.
The user-defined, cross-platform M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.
Without e-services, you will lack data hygiene.
Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms.
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating emerging media sourcing?
It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic!
The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, killer.
We have proven we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also e-enable proactively.
Riordan practically invented the term "initiatives".
Without user interfaces, you will lack returns-on-investment.
Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible?
The aptitude to transform strategically leads to the ability to generate intuitively.
What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean?
We will increase our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy.
We think that most granular splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.
Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring emerging channels?
A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix easily.
The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
We here at Riordan have come to know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to visualize intuitively.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our project management but our capability to visualize.
Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling unplanned-for user interfaces?
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
The systems factor is seamless.
Without re-sizing compliance, you will lack TQM.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP.
Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring new mindshare?
A company that can reinvent easily will (one day) be able to utilize easily.
If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!