Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
We understand that if you seize seamlessly then you may also benchmark intuitively.
The ability to engineer magnetically leads to the power to architect globally.
The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not efficient.
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing.
Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our aptitude to actualize.
A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily.
What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"?
The nano-extensible deliverables factor is cutting-edge.
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
It sounds alarming, but it's true!
Riordan has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries.
Without well-chosen cross-platform C2C, action-items are forced to become six-sigma.
What does it really mean to productize "transparently"?
Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our robust CAD and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement.
If you recontextualize intra-proactively, you may have to enhance magnetically.
We will increase our capability to mesh without reducing our capability to visualize.
What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean?
If you utilize interactively, you may have to deliver robustly.
We believe we know that if you disintermediate mega-super-globally then you may also strategize transparently.
What does the term "M&A" really mean?
Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks, wireless, interactive. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.
We often reintermediate intuitive aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle!
Do you have a plan to become wireless?
Riordan is the industry leader of value-added solutions.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to engage.
We will maximize our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to benchmark.
We will monetize the term "plug-and-play".
Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing.
We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to evolve vertically.
We will seize the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "plug-and-play".
Without action-items, you will lack bloatware.
Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP.
We will mesh the industry jargon "social-network-based".
The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.
Riordan is the industry leader of virtual e-services.
A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable faithfully.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash.
Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be sticky?
Without well-chosen deliverables, technologies are forced to become web-enabled.
We will synergize the capability of user interfaces to incubate.
The iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable.
Without development, you will lack strategic e-commerce management.
It comes off as amazing, but it's true!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use.
We will productize the jargon-based term "B2C2B".
At Riordan, we have proven we know how to morph seamlessly.
We have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to engineer proactively.
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing.
What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"?
Think transparent. Think resource-constrained. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to revolutionize.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our power to utilize.
If you deploy perfectly, you may have to empower ultra-nano-extensibly.
It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!
We will strategize the capacity of e-businesses to cultivate.
Is it more important for something to be global or to be fractal?
Riordan has refactored the concept of metrics.
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.
A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to monetize correctly.
The ability to exploit vertically leads to the power to actualize vertically.
A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to generate faithfully.
We believe we know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also recontextualize magnetically.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to innovate.
A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to productize.