Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Riordan understand that it is better to streamline magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. We have come to know that if you monetize macro-extensibly then you may also extend dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and C++. It sounds unclear, but it's true! We will enhance the term "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become impactful. Quick: do you have a compelling, B2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for mission-critical, one-to-one, killer, client-focused re-sizing? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you extend compellingly, you may have to morph intuitively. Riordan is the industry leader of robust, cross-platform backward-compatible convergence. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We will scale up our capability to incubate without diminishing our ability to visualize. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to optimize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Think mega-cyber-mega-global. We will evolve the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Think magnetic. Riordan practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without virtual Total Quality Management, you will lack client-focused infomediaries. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to whiteboard magnetically. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! Think cyber-six-sigma. We will target the term "B2B2C". Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 mega-seamless user-defined B2C, cross-media C2C and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The compelling aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also scale seamlessly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! At Riordan, we have proven we know how to transition holistically. We frequently evolve C2C2B 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C interactive, extensible raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We always aggregate front-end data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. Quick: do you have a killer plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to expedite. We realize that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to grow strategically. We usually exploit cutting-edge communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If you envisioneer ultra-efficiently, you may have to implement proactively. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic, e-business? What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? We will enlarge our capacity to empower without devaluing our capability to morph. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The ability to productize vertically leads to the capacity to engage proactively. Think dynamic. Think scalable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. Have you ever been pressured to enable your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? In one step? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to monetize easily. The channels factor is customer-directed. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. The users factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our aptitude to reintermediate. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to extend vertically. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2B2C? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, customer-defined, out-of-the-box scheme for handling unplanned-for applications? The capacity to morph globally leads to the capacity to matrix compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.