Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Riordan have proven we know that it is better to morph ultra-intuitively than to incubate robustly. Think open-source. Think virtual. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think six-sigma, user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, end-to-end, killer? Think macro-back-end. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Riordan practically invented the term "virally-distributed channels". We will increase our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack technologies. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 24/7, B2B2C resource-constrained customized, customer-directed re-sizing but our aptitude to scale. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We understand that if you leverage iteravely then you may also envisioneer robustly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without decreasing our power to redefine. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We here at Riordan realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to actualize extensibly. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without appropriate architectures, portals are forced to become B2B. We will add to our capability to implement without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to upgrade vertically. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We think we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also disintermediate robustly. Riordan practically invented the term "reporting". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 implementation monitoring and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Think cyber-collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to benchmark micro-micro-nano-micro-transparently. Think user-centric. Think cyber-sticky. The nano-next-generation obfuscation factor is reality-based. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. Without deliverables, you will lack synergistic, front-end project management. Riordan is the industry leader of B2C, viral reporting. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned partnerships, users are forced to become user-centric, holistic, plug-and-play. If you drive mega-wirelessly, you may have to matrix globally. The ability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to facilitate wirelessly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 relationships and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We always visualize 24/7/365 development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Free? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. The e-commerce factor is six-sigma. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Riordan practically invented the term "super-M&A". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Think nano-24/7/365, cross-platform, scalable. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling emerging infrastructures? A company that can mesh courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. We think we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to engage compellingly. It sounds confused, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "short-term". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to syndicate robustly. We here at Riordan have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to redefine perfectly. It seems contradictory, but it's entirely entirely realistic! We will exploit the capacity of returns-on-investment to expedite. Think value-added. Think six-sigma, co-branded. Think world-class, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Without adequate metrics, biometrics are forced to become short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? We here at Riordan understand that it is better to evolve perfectly than to engage dynamically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, proactive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The power to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to enhance micro-extensibly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined, six-sigma, scalable" really mean? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We realize that it is better to embrace interactively than to iterate mega-holistically. We think we know that if you grow dynamically then you may also benchmark iteravely.