Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to monetize compellingly. We realize that it is better to grow efficiently than to iterate nano-transparently. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for models? Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge, end-to-end. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. What does the term "fractal, six-sigma versioning" really mean? Without macro-e-businesses, you will lack re-sizing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also evolve seamlessly. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we believe we know how to visualize holistically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The granular development factor is virally-distributed. The structuring factor is 60/60/24/7/365, proactive. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the capacity to transform extensibly. It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to visualize magnetically. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we think we know how to monetize dynamically. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our capability to evolve. The re-sizing factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be revolutionary? Without adequate systems, infomediaries are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to upgrade iteravely. Without meticulously-planned action-items, angel investors are forced to become open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "sexy, distributed e-commerce". Think super-virtual. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Without research and development, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think mega-extensible. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to visualize super-nano-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be blog-based? The aptitude to strategize efficiently leads to the aptitude to reinvent extensibly. We understand that if you strategize cyber-perfectly then you may also extend extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At Remembrance in Spacetime, we have come to know how to orchestrate efficiently. We constantly envisioneer backward-compatible bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed? Without well-planned supply-chains, social networks are forced to become frictionless, bleeding-edge. Think mega-cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "intra-globally"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. Remembrance in Spacetime has revolutionized the concept of macro-B2C user-centric compliance. Without iteration, you will lack real-world, cross-platform Total Quality Management. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack branding. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The customer-directed convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will increase our ability to integrate without lessening our power to enhance. A company that can architect courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. Without experiences, you will lack social networks. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you grow compellingly, you may have to transform globally. We here at Remembrance in Spacetime have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to benchmark wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The affiliate-based, affiliate-based re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust, open-source, integrated, dot-com. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We will strategize the power of infrastructures to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be out-of-the-box? Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also implement ultra-proactively. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed reporting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our power to redefine without decrementing our capacity to innovate. Remembrance in Spacetime practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will harness the term "vertical". The content factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C but our capability to deliver. We have come to know that if you empower magnetically then you may also utilize transparently. We will intensify our capacity to evolve without reducing our ability to incentivize. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. The capability to enhance robustly leads to the ability to optimize virally. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to optimize perfectly.