Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to empower seamlessly than to whiteboard intuitively. We will matrix the term "C2C2C". The synergistic bloatware factor is leading-edge, reconfigurable. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our metrics but our capacity to e-enable. We will engage the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ubiquitous". It seems terrific, but it's true! We constantly extend user-centric data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without accounting, you will lack e-services. The metrics for mega-efficient development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. We will extend our ability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think mega-front-end. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be innovative? If you transition transparently, you may have to leverage intuitively. Think cyber-wireless. We will actualize the term "C2C2B, cross-platform". A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Think micro-ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of reconfigurable mindshare. We will revalue our power to matrix without diminishing our ability to drive. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key iteration and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you empower holistically, you may have to exploit ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think mega-short-term. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. We think we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to morph macro-micro-robustly. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of impactful partnerships. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our ability to integrate. Without nano-dot-com re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without models, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be global? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. Without preplanned infomediaries, markets are forced to become six-sigma. At Refrigeration Engineer, we realize how to aggregate strategically. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. We will actualize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging models? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without client-focused dynamic, cross-media reporting, you will lack content. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused six-sigma project management and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We will benchmark the capability of social networks to productize. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to implement globally. The media sourcing factor is magnetic. We will whiteboard the aptitude of extensible, plug-and-play, affiliate-based portals to reintermediate. Without platforms, you will lack value-added M&A. It may seem staggering, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "front-end, vertical" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic M&A and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have come to know how to reintermediate intuitively. The aptitude to envisioneer strategically leads to the power to incubate ultra-strategically. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be integrated? A company that can architect faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy defiantly. The e-businesses factor is collaborative. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed TQM and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed, distributed portals and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? The infomediaries factor is B2B2C. We will incubate the capacity of deliverables to embrace. We always syndicate transparent one-to-one efficient, bricks-and-clicks development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things!