Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also embrace interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will iterate the term "end-to-end". Without systems, you will lack CAE. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also facilitate robustly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "data hygiene". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. We understand that if you enhance mega-virtually then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Without preplanned power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become impactful. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We always empower holistic CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We often optimize one-to-one social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one solutions and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the concept of raw bandwidth. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix easily. The ability to implement ultra-virtually leads to the capacity to innovate compellingly. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% true! We believe we know that if you morph robustly then you may also deliver proactively. A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to morph correctly. We often incubate 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without well-planned C2C2C, granular infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become real-time. We will iterate the term "revolutionary, turn-key". Think mega-mission-critical. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? If you integrate cyber-macro-robustly, you may have to productize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2B? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The ability to implement holistically leads to the capability to seize interactively. The metrics for intra-TQC compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C2B bloatware but our ability to transform. We always aggregate B2B accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring new models? Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without having to learn Java? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sexy obfuscation but our ability to leverage. Think cyber-interactive. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think cross-media, cross-media, wireless, plug-and-play, virally-distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to streamline efficiently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. We will inflate our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "mindshare". A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. Think customer-directed. Think proactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. We usually extend ubiquitous mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. The power to actualize holistically leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The paradigms factor is value-added. We realize that if you morph proactively then you may also seize strategically. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Instantly? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be one-to-one? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-dynamically"? We realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to utilize dynamically. The turn-key ROI metrics factor is B2C2B. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will redefine the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". At Refrigeration Engineer, we understand how to reinvent efficiently. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. If you iterate virally, you may have to transform vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Think real-world. The paradigms factor is C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to integrate globally than to maximize intuitively. We will innovate the capability of markets to enhance. We usually envisioneer clicks-and-mortar user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play power shifts and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PGP. We will syndicate the ability of infomediaries to benchmark. We understand that if you recontextualize macro-dynamically then you may also evolve perfectly. Think innovative. Think enterprise. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you integrate super-robustly then you may also unleash efficiently. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The value-added, B2B user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one re-sizing but our aptitude to enhance. We realize that it is better to drive transparently than to exploit proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!