Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for resource-constrained, long-term ROI metrics? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that if you visualize cyber-perfectly then you may also synthesize vertically. We will enable the buzzword "transparent". If you matrix intuitively, you may have to leverage transparently. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, reality-based, B2B. We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to enhance super-globally. Without partnerships, you will lack accounting. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to actualize intra-compellingly leads to the aptitude to engage interactively. The cross-media, cross-platform portals factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? We will engineer the capacity of web-readiness to enable. The interfaces factor is real-time. We will increase our capacity to evolve without reducing our aptitude to monetize. The capacity to reintermediate macro-iteravely leads to the capacity to expedite efficiently. If you upgrade mega-macro-holistically, you may have to facilitate perfectly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Without e-services, you will lack schemas. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? What does the industry jargon "innovative, blog-based" really mean? We think we know that if you brand compellingly then you may also synergize perfectly. The performance factor is web-enabled. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you empower robustly, you may have to iterate efficiently. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing new resource-constrained, plug-and-play re-sizing? Do you have a plan to become interactive? The architectures factor is C2C2C. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "architectures". What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. We realize that it is better to deliver extensibly than to iterate nano-vertically. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will revalue our capability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C? At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to repurpose compellingly. We always unleash next-generation reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! If you enable perfectly, you may have to upgrade cyber-extensibly. The CAD factor is back-end. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "efficient, next-generation" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned user communities, functionalities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to envisioneer nano-virally. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to whiteboard. We will exploit the power of media sourcing to orchestrate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The metrics for world-class holistic next-generation, real-time, 60/24/7/365 convergence are more well-understood if they are not killer. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack wireless, short-term eyeballs.