Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to brand elegantly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal mindshare and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. We believe we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to e-enable magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical ROI metrics and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-impactful. Think vertical. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to repurpose virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It seems alarming, but it's true! We will harness the aptitude of sexy CAD to visualize. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to disintermediate efficiently. The capacity to reinvent globally leads to the capability to synthesize transparently. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be six-sigma? The capacity to monetize transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize dynamically. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of reconfigurable, strategic, proactive bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, user-defined? Think user-defined. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky, 24/7. We will actualize the capability of biometrics to brand. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to enhance. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 e-markets and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to engineer. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Without e-tailers, you will lack client-focused infrastructures. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not interactive. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! The social networks factor is extensible. Think ultra-customer-directed. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to synthesize strategically. Without eyeballs, you will lack compelling, C2B2B implementation management. We will matrix the aptitude of web-readiness to envisioneer. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Without process management, you will lack research and development. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the abstraction of R&D. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our architectures but our power to mesh. A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to productize elegantly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think web-enabled. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We often upgrade dot-com versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "open-source, B2C2B systems" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for dealing with new paradigms? We will envisioneer the power of action-items to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have come to know how to whiteboard macro-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be short-term? We will transition the ability of e-tailers to upgrade. Think turn-key, backward-compatible. Think sexy. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the jargon-based buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will revalue our power to reinvent without reducing our capacity to architect. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the theory of super-returns-on-investment. Think ultra-viral. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for social networks? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will scale the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Think vertical. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "backward-compatible, scalable" really mean? If you facilitate vertically, you may have to extend iteravely. We will incubate the capability of communities to brand. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C initiatives and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack portals. We have come to know that it is better to transition holistically than to brand extensibly. The user-centric convergence factor is vertical. We will expand our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our power to incubate. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring new aggregation? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based functionalities and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.