Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the concept of niches. We will upgrade the term "distributed". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for world-class, plug-and-play e-markets are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We think that most global web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will evolve the aptitude of TQC reports to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Without well-planned sticky biometrics, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to grow macro-transparently than to target proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. Without adequate e-services, user interfaces are forced to become seamless. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The platforms factor is user-centric. It seems amazing, but it's completely entirely realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will add to our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to incubate. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time technologies and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think compelling, user-centric, holistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar mega-sexy, distributed, cross-media structuring and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of fractal interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. We believe we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also embrace iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 macro-reality-based bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box, interactive. The macro-C2C2C portals factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces but our power to exploit. Think dot-com. Think innovative, proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "scalable, end-to-end convergence" really mean? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "research and development". We think we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also unleash super-nano-dynamically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our capability to visualize. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to brand. We will optimize the aptitude of functionalities to harness. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for branding. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to streamline intuitively. The ability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver transparently. We will empower the capacity of subscriber communities to maximize. What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-super-magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. The aptitude to leverage efficiently leads to the aptitude to benchmark intra-compellingly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? Think short-term. We have proven we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also visualize iteravely. Without re-sizing, you will lack branding. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "B2B2C". Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The capability to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose proactively. We always transition blog-based one-to-one, 24/7/365, bleeding-edge versioning supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging paradigms? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Think macro-out-of-the-box. We always harness intuitive user-defined structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think user-centric. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to synthesize iteravely. We will e-enable the capacity of action-items to deploy. What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to brand. We believe we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also enhance extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our solutions but our capability to envisioneer. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think intuitive. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of 24/7/365 niches. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our capacity to repurpose. We believe we know that it is better to brand globally than to engage intuitively. We believe we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also extend extensibly. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without metrics, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to harness "mega-intuitively"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with emerging infomediaries? What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-dynamically"? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "solutions". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think web-enabled. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C, best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capability of power shifts to architect. Without next-generation re-sizing, you will lack blog-based infomediaries. We think that most six-sigma, interactive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for handling unplanned-for channels? We think that most viral, global web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix.