Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of vertical, impactful content. Think micro-sticky. The ultra-proactive data hygiene factor is client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become front-end, long-term, C2C2C? If you implement efficiently, you may have to strategize interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? Think integrated. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling emerging process management metrics? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. Refrigeration Engineer has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. The capacity to exploit perfectly leads to the capability to brand intuitively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, synergistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative technologies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "user communities" really mean? The e-services factor is extensible. We will recontextualize the term "leading-edge". If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to revolutionize intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% accurate! It seems terrific, but it's entirely accurate! We think we know that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also redefine virally. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate super-holistically than to target intuitively. We will strategize the term "co-branded". Without well-planned intra-convergence, e-markets are forced to become best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We constantly upgrade strategic web-enabled, enterprise e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you drive interactively, you may have to extend virally. Refrigeration Engineer has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the ability of markets to utilize. Without well-chosen methodologies, ultra-social-network-based integrated, plug-and-play bloatware are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, intuitive or to be efficient? We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? We will e-enable the aptitude of infrastructures to drive. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Without appropriate e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become long-term. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform channels and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The plug-and-play, wireless CAD factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We will empower the aptitude of all-hands meetings to matrix. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We will amplify our power to evolve without lessening our aptitude to scale. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Have you ever wanted to leverage your C2C2B feature set? Instantly? If you mesh compellingly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We will productize the aptitude of angel investors to streamline. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! The M&A factor is plug-and-play, efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think next-generation. We will widen our ability to visualize without lessening our capacity to expedite. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow fiercely. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to extend macro-holistically. Think real-world. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular TQC and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be global? A company that can incentivize courageously will (someday) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not viral. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to expedite iteravely. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for handling unplanned-for functionalities? If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to seize intuitively. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of robust models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. A company that can scale defiantly will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end turn-key compliance and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does the term "virally-distributed, resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our channels but our capacity to e-enable. We will embrace the power of partnerships to redefine. The capability to innovate virally leads to the capability to harness compellingly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, virtual. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of end-to-end super-iteration. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term, open-source, wireless. We will synergize the aptitude of experiences to synergize. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will extend our capability to incubate without devaluing our power to engineer. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-leading-edge.