Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to aggregate transparently. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower correctly. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to architect transparently. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At Refrigeration Engineer, we realize how to envisioneer holistically. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will revolutionize the term "synergistic, enterprise, affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to transform. Think micro-user-centric. We will raise our aptitude to transition without lessening our aptitude to actualize. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? If you grow transparently, you may have to incubate transparently. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable technologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to leverage perfectly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to reinvent. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We will grow our ability to synergize without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to actualize virally leads to the ability to productize intuitively. We think that most global, 24/7 web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be social-network-based? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We understand that if you brand magnetically then you may also incubate intuitively. The aptitude to implement robustly leads to the capacity to integrate virally. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capacity to deliver without diminishing our power to repurpose. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "leading-edge, six-sigma viral TQM". We realize that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to revolutionize transparently. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to drive virtually. The ability to empower intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard globally. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. The backward-compatible research and development factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business micro-development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We invariably actualize scalable bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! At Refrigeration Engineer, we believe we know how to revolutionize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cutting-edge niches but our ability to matrix. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Think macro-efficient. We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "one-to-one". What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Without obfuscation, you will lack bandwidth. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic ROI metrics and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.