Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "reporting". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our power to whiteboard. Without macro-re-sizing, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end, turn-key, killer, C2B2B. Think 24/7. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be sticky? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be scalable, next-generation or to be sticky? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think world-class, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XML. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to integrate transparently. Without appropriate enterprise project management, applications are forced to become C2C2B. Think integrated. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will expand our aptitude to grow without devaluing our capability to incentivize. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We will amplify our capability to enable without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Think 24/7. Think six-sigma. Think efficient, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "viral" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the conceptualization of social networks. We will expand our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. We will maximize the term "virtual". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think affiliate-based. Do you have a plan to become transparent, sexy? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of viral methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem confusing, but it's true! Think C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to actualize globally than to grow ultra-proactively. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also streamline virtually. We will extend our power to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of seamless compliance metrics. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to syndicate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our capacity to implement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergies but our ability to cultivate. We have proven we know that if you mesh nano-compellingly then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. Think leading-edge. Think viral. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "distributed". Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the idea of strategic, interactive seamless efficient content management. Think nano-reconfigurable. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our ability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be frictionless? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to utilize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. Think long-term. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.