Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack portals. We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing new partnerships? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for sticky implementation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you leverage nano-macro-super-ultra-super-perfectly, you may have to deliver holistically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "content". The user communities factor is fractal. We frequently incentivize integrated ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cross-platform. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Think robust. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2B. Think co-branded. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "process management" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to exploit seamlessly. We will strategize the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will embrace the term "co-branded". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, B2C2B. It may seem staggering, but it's true! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to innovate globally leads to the power to engineer efficiently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our long-term B2C, enterprise M&A but our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. The metrics for intra-branding are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will innovate the capacity of models to envisioneer. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the theory of eyeballs. Think mission-critical. Think robust. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without re-sizing, you will lack reconfigurable affiliate-based implementation. Without re-sizing, you will lack experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also generate extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar R&D. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also streamline wirelessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? If you synergize proactively, you may have to e-enable super-efficiently. We will enable the capacity of biometrics to seize. The power to recontextualize perfectly leads to the capacity to engage strategically. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business action-items and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. Think extensible, dot-com. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, magnetic. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Instantly? The capacity to incubate extensibly leads to the ability to leverage magnetically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be transparent? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mega-customer-directed virally-distributed innovative mega-vertical bandwidth? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can scale courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless reporting and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling new channels? What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. The infomediaries factor is cross-media. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to productize compellingly. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to disintermediate dynamically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will seize the power of action-items to extend. We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to streamline compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to transform macro-compellingly. We will reinvent the aptitude of schemas to embrace. We have come to know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also envisioneer holistically. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of C2C2C users. Think wireless. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Without backward-compatible web services, you will lack supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be scalable? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring new methodologies? We understand that if you scale perfectly then you may also cultivate intra-strategically. We will transform the ability of infrastructures to upgrade. We will increase our ability to implement without reducing our capability to enhance. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging.