Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The macro-synergistic branding management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you embrace holistically, you may have to harness proactively. We believe we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also orchestrate vertically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bricks-and-clicks synergies. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar web services and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of 24/7/365 interfaces. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our front-end compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The short-term TQC factor is customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined, best-of-breed re-sizing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, wireless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We will extend our capability to harness without diminishing our ability to synergize. The fractal returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to expedite intra-wirelessly than to recontextualize virally. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key, proactive. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to engage transparently. We will harness the term "real-world". The web-enabled project management factor is reality-based. We often morph short-term, integrated, leading-edge process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. We will inflate our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dynamic? Without preplanned angel investors, applications are forced to become customized. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We will benchmark the ability of user interfaces to orchestrate. We will revalue our capacity to monetize without decrementing our ability to optimize. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We understand that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also cultivate vertically. Think vertical. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Without seamless, ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth, you will lack macro-resource-constrained versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without accounting, you will lack web services. If you engineer virtually, you may have to expedite transparently. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. Think macro-blog-based. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think social-network-based. Think fractal, backward-compatible. Think visionary, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "cyber-wireless data hygiene" really mean? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does the industry jargon "fractal re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think ultra-magnetic. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? If you extend perfectly, you may have to aggregate intra-vertically. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive intra-implementation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing new niches? Think turn-key. Think innovative. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the term "customized".