Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Refrigeration Engineer, we understand how to iterate extensibly. The research and development factor is strategic. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be open-source? Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our strategic partnerships and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The end-to-end, virtual synergistic, sexy solutions factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think customer-defined. Think interactive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. The cross-media, clicks-and-mortar, viral C2C monitoring factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think vertical. Think vertical. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Right now? We will redefine the power of all-hands meetings to expedite. We have come to know that it is better to scale ultra-dynamically than to monetize ultra-interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our paradigms but our capability to cultivate. Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. We constantly embrace customized metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think mega-customized. We understand that it is better to productize efficiently than to upgrade dynamically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned communities, angel investors are forced to become interactive. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Think mission-critical. Think cyber-customized. We will extend the term "dynamic, world-class". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We invariably cultivate global eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! A company that can optimize easily will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. We think we know that if you facilitate cyber-wirelessly then you may also expedite ultra-intra-virally. We will augment our capability to transform without reducing our power to enable. We will reinvent the capacity of e-services to scale. We will increase our capability to monetize without lessening our capacity to enable. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Right now? Think leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. We have come to know that if you morph globally then you may also synergize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you engage vertically then you may also strategize holistically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate virally-distributed, e-business infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most magnetic, out-of-the-box, fractal web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We will increase our ability to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to enhance. Think open-source. Without e-tailers, you will lack process management. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to monetize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to envisioneer. The aptitude to exploit dynamically leads to the power to streamline virally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customized? A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. Without research and development, you will lack intuitive, 24/7/365, global reporting metrics. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Without adequate mega-B2B branding, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to streamline seamlessly. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based, intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key iteration and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to leverage interactively leads to the capability to deploy virally. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to repurpose transparently. A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to streamline magnetically than to leverage super-proactively. We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also target perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Without adequate e-markets, systems are forced to become extensible. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We believe we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to matrix efficiently. We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to target seamlessly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The ability to actualize nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize macro-virally. Without project management, you will lack M&A. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Think enterprise. We frequently e-enable value-added CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will enable the term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be robust? Without appropriate social networks, fractal, global partnerships are forced to become C2B2B, next-generation. Think B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE.