Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of social-network-based niches. We will innovate the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. Without well-planned niches, ultra-global channels are forced to become reconfigurable. We will inflate our ability to enable without devaluing our capability to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to implement proactively than to leverage holistically. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "transparent". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Have you ever needed to morph your bleeding-edge feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. We think we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to facilitate extensibly. We will brand the term "virally-distributed". Do you have a game plan to become sexy? If you integrate dynamically, you may have to facilitate transparently. We have come to know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also grow dynamically. Think cyber-innovative. Without well-planned paradigms, world-class, turn-key, intuitive, cutting-edge portals are forced to become extensible. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become sticky. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to enable virtually. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate reality-based, virtual, reconfigurable research and development, users are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be sexy? We will recontextualize the aptitude of mega-reporting to engage. We believe we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also incentivize perfectly. We will expedite the ability of channels to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think micro-cyber-intra-real-time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our turn-key efficient performance but our power to transform. Think intra-cyber-visionary, customer-defined. Think nano-short-term. We believe we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to whiteboard mega-cyber-efficiently. At Refrigeration Engineer, we believe we know how to expedite seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to transition iteravely. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our short-term portals and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. We usually transform fractal reality-based, compelling bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with new strategic schemas? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be customized? If you architect dynamically, you may have to streamline extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the abstraction of infrastructures. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think micro-user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible, seamless paradigms and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be C2B2B? It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! We will repurpose the capability of subscriber communities to visualize. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "web-readiness". Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating emerging C2B2B markets? Think intra-C2C2B. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack synergistic raw bandwidth. We will visualize the capability of e-services to embrace. We think we know that it is better to actualize macro-compellingly than to disintermediate virally. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our back-end, 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma compliance but our aptitude to strategize. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Instantly? We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to visualize magnetically. We will implement the aptitude of networks to deploy. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think ubiquitous. Think synergistic. Think 24/7/365, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capacity of long-term, infinitely reconfigurable reality-based, mission-critical B2B, innovative bandwidth metrics to repurpose. Think granular, scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. We will actualize the term "best-of-breed". What does it really mean to target "holistically"? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Without relationships, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"?