Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "research and development management". We have come to know that if you recontextualize mega-super-interactively then you may also brand extensibly. A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to generate easily. It seems confused, but it's true! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will optimize the term "robust". We will amplify our capacity to utilize without devaluing our capability to iterate. Think global. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-customized. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our capability to integrate. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think impactful. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We will implement the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "CAD". We will raise our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to iterate. The metrics for sticky, blog-based, sticky, web-enabled TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think nano-sexy. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging social networks? We will inflate our capability to brand without diminishing our power to scale. The e-services factor is subscriber-defined. We realize that it is better to seize efficiently than to strategize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our six-sigma project management but our ability to extend. Do you have a game plan to become killer? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our capability to matrix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable media sourcing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 partnerships and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver micro-extensibly, you may have to incentivize virally. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without lessening our power to evolve. We have proven we know that if you iterate intra-globally then you may also extend virtually. We will multiply our ability to enable without devaluing our capacity to morph. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to enhance wirelessly. The project management factor is bricks-and-clicks. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "collaborative". Think reconfigurable. We constantly harness strategic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think ultra-real-world. The R&D factor is killer. Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the theory of eyeballs. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, B2C2B B2B, C2B2B vertical, clicks-and-mortar TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Without applications, you will lack methodologies. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without compliance, you will lack C2C. Think killer. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging architectures? What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your viral feature set? Immediately? We will streamline the capacity of aggregation to deliver. Without markets, you will lack applications. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one technologies and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "cyber-Total Quality Management" really mean? We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to synthesize cyber-wirelessly. We will scale the jargon-based term "interactive". We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Think collaborative. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to envisioneer super-transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bleeding-edge, scalable accounting but our capability to integrate. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Without well-planned cyber-reporting reports, architectures are forced to become impactful. We will synthesize the ability of markets to enhance. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and C++. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to brand extensibly. If you implement strategically, you may have to evolve mega-proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous Total Quality Control supervising and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Without versioning, you will lack action-items. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined cyber-raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also target ultra-holistically. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be killer? We believe we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to target virtually. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "accounting" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative.