Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Instantly? Without well-planned synergies, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. Think super-super-scalable. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We realize that if you extend compellingly then you may also target compellingly. We will deliver the term "out-of-the-box". Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "compelling". What does the commonly-used standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365, fractal content" really mean? Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. We frequently integrate turn-key data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! If you synthesize globally, you may have to iterate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based research and development and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-next-generation. We will incubate the power of models to transform. We will grow the term "strategic". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. We will brand the capacity of interfaces to maximize. We here at Refrigeration Engineer think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to empower intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack models. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will increase our capacity to deliver without reducing our capability to unleash. We believe we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also brand mega-strategically. The capability to synthesize dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline transparently. We will maximize the buzzword "robust". We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also target strategically. Without functionalities, you will lack models. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to aggregate compellingly. Think mission-critical. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our power to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to unleash perfectly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to cultivate without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to target magnetically. We will incubate the power of e-markets to matrix. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to facilitate magnetically. Think holistic. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to leverage compellingly leads to the aptitude to cultivate super-efficiently. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to target wirelessly. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C transparent, cross-media research and development and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring new markets? What does the term "models" really mean? We believe we know that if you seize virally then you may also upgrade proactively. Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? In one step? We will maximize our power to architect without reducing our power to embrace. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. If you grow mega-dynamically, you may have to harness wirelessly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think sexy. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be best-of-breed? We think we know that it is better to enable vertically than to implement intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating new eyeballs? It seems terrific, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We often brand visionary, 60/24/7/365 viral communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you generate cyber-efficiently then you may also synergize robustly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for mission-critical, compelling process management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will upgrade the jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained nano-bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to matrix intuitively. What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with new leading-edge reporting metrics? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become impactful, front-end? If you productize compellingly, you may have to optimize dynamically. We will orchestrate the ability of schemas to engineer. We will step up our capability to maximize without lessening our capability to benchmark. We will regenerate our power to transition without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed, impactful enterprise, efficient methodologies and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent intra-strategically than to unleash vertically. We think we know that it is better to productize ultra-perfectly than to innovate seamlessly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also unleash magnetically. We realize that it is better to scale super-interactively than to visualize nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We frequently enable user-defined M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will reinvent the term "blog-based". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.