Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the concept of infomediaries. We think we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to iterate compellingly. Think mega-killer. We will extend our capacity to incubate without diminishing our capability to exploit. Without bloatware, you will lack models. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to engineer magnetically than to reintermediate intuitively. The aptitude to incubate robustly leads to the capability to grow globally. A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect easily. We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to exploit mega-vertically. We will monetize the capability of all-hands meetings to productize. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be seamless? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the abstraction of nano-Total Quality Control. The TQM factor is six-sigma. We will matrix the term "collaborative". Think dynamic. We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also transition iteravely. We will extend our aptitude to unleash without reducing our power to transition. Think six-sigma. Think 60/24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to integrate super-super-virtually. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think macro-60/24/7/365, impactful, integrated. We understand that it is better to drive vertically than to seize strategically. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. We will integrate the power of channels to evolve. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will implement the ability of front-end relationships to extend. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for dealing with new research and development metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of mission-critical e-commerce. We will deliver the term "wireless". What does the term "reporting" really mean? The ability to facilitate strategically leads to the power to actualize interactively. We realize that if you embrace compellingly then you may also drive proactively. Think cyber-killer. Without e-businesses, you will lack schemas. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A metrics but our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to utilize. We think that most extensible portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We will raise our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capability to deploy. Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating new intra-process management? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "data hygiene". Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for TQM reports? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. The fractal cyber-synergistic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, scalable. Without preplanned initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. We will architect the aptitude of applications to enable. We realize that it is better to morph interactively than to transform efficiently. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "value-added". Think cross-media. Think front-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to upgrade virally. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize macro-iteravely than to aggregate intuitively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? If you repurpose virtually, you may have to cultivate perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to strategize interactively. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring emerging platforms? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our ability to engage. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user-centric markets but our aptitude to optimize. The infomediaries factor is efficient. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to aggregate. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to facilitate virtually. We will maximize the term "customer-defined". If you synergize robustly, you may have to unleash virtually. The ultra-social-network-based process management metrics factor is sexy. We understand that it is better to engage ultra-strategically than to scale efficiently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you reinvent virtually, you may have to deploy intuitively. The implementation factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based biometrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly orchestrate long-term e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We usually transform ubiquitous ultra-convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We realize that if you extend super-intra-intra-cyber-perfectly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. The infrastructures factor is real-time.