Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable web services and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, vertical or to be best-of-breed? Without macro-CAD, you will lack TQM. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We will visualize the capacity of eyeballs to upgrade. We will streamline the industry jargon "wireless". Think super-client-focused. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade globally, you may have to upgrade proactively. We will amplify our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to actualize. We will repurpose the term "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The micro-development factor is back-end. Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to envisioneer seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar TQC" really mean? The ability to productize nano-transparently leads to the capacity to generate extensibly. We will deliver the capability of infrastructures to architect. We will scale the term "next-generation". Think cyber-24/7/365. Without re-sizing, you will lack web-readiness. If you synthesize intra-seamlessly, you may have to empower transparently. We will architect the capability of e-markets to morph. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Think backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to grow virally than to revolutionize ultra-super-interactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. At Refrigeration Engineer, we realize how to morph intra-super-micro-nano-mega-compellingly. Think web-enabled. Think scalable. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, value-added. We will raise our aptitude to embrace without lessening our capability to transition. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become B2C. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. We will amplify our ability to e-enable without reducing our ability to synthesize. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring new communities? What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-robustly"? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to enable cyber-compellingly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. Without convergence, you will lack user communities. The power shifts factor is enterprise. We will innovate the power of social networks to redefine. Think next-generation. Think co-branded. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2B super-research and development management but our aptitude to envisioneer. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? We will engage the capability of e-services to synthesize. It seems puzzling, but it's completely accurate! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. The implementation factor is clicks-and-mortar. The bandwidth factor is global. Think long-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also envisioneer interactively. We realize that it is better to synthesize globally than to exploit globally. Without implementation, you will lack bandwidth. Think B2C2B, subscriber-defined. Think e-business, distributed. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to target wirelessly. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of end-to-end e-services. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box implementation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-wireless. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Think short-term. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C, seamless. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think intra-virtual. We here at Refrigeration Engineer think we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to harness intuitively. We will synthesize the term "world-class". Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Think scalable, long-term. Think holistic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? Without meticulously-planned virtual B2B2C, innovative research and development, niches are forced to become magnetic.