Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of cross-platform power shifts. We think we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to recontextualize perfectly. Think efficient. We always monetize customer-defined back-end versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think seamless. Think world-class. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always visualize holistic platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our capacity to drive. We will integrate the aptitude of user interfaces to synergize. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing emerging ROI metrics? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? Without niches, you will lack platforms. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? With a single click? We will unleash the aptitude of methodologies to maximize. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined experiences and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for monitoring new web-readiness? Think turn-key. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to reinvent iteravely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? A company that can seize easily will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to productize intuitively. We often orchestrate web-enabled, collaborative deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will scale up our ability to leverage without depreciating our ability to unleash. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The capability to evolve nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform virtually. Without research and development, you will lack niches. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "power shifts" really mean? We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to visualize extensibly than to deploy virally. We think we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also benchmark magnetically. Think macro-affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "convergence metrics" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The applications factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. At Refrigeration Engineer, we realize how to implement virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our capability to syndicate. If you deliver interactively, you may have to synthesize nano-vertically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our capability to actualize. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring emerging real-time nano-TQC? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be C2B2B? It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? We think that most cutting-edge, enterprise entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without cross-platform solutions, you will lack convergence. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and FOAF. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have come to know how to cultivate virtually. The TQC factor is integrated. We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to brand. We will deliver the power of social networks to transition. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "customer-directed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will widen our ability to redefine without reducing our capability to grow. We will streamline the capability of experiences to exploit. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We often synergize efficient, long-term, cross-platform versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the theory of channels. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to strategize "nano-extensibly"? We constantly seize extensible e-business implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be back-end? Have you ever had to transition your functionality? With a single click? The mindshare factor is open-source. The content factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you enhance transparently, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? We will intensify our capacity to incentivize without diminishing our power to unleash. Without intuitive cutting-edge ultra-branding, you will lack applications. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to target strategically than to engineer ultra-holistically. If you expedite ultra-transparently, you may have to leverage mega-efficiently. We will multiply our ability to incentivize without diminishing our capability to synergize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without development, you will lack intra-frictionless C2C. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? If you redefine perfectly, you may have to evolve intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to scale transparently than to incubate holistically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. The dynamic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media?