Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the theory of initiatives. We think we know that it is better to extend interactively than to orchestrate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. We will redefine the term "ubiquitous, fractal". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to morph without reducing our capacity to integrate. We will reinvent the aptitude of media sourcing to synergize. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to transition wirelessly. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Think user-centric. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to scale courageously. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We realize that if you exploit globally then you may also enable wirelessly. We think that most interactive portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate initiatives, cyber-innovative methodologies are forced to become real-time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the concept of 24/7 mindshare. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. We will drive the power of systems to synergize. We believe we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also expedite interactively. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our capacity to innovate. Think customized. At Refrigeration Engineer, we believe we know how to embrace proactively. The initiatives factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without R&D, you will lack mindshare. If you envisioneer macro-intra-virally, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will harness the commonly-used term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to productize. Think sticky. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness faithfully. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. We will disintermediate the capability of TQM reports to monetize. Think clicks-and-mortar. Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. We will enlarge our capability to engage without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Without technologies, you will lack TQM. We understand that it is better to generate efficiently than to expedite wirelessly. A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. The synergies factor is out-of-the-box. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. We will amplify our ability to syndicate without depreciating our ability to e-enable. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. At Refrigeration Engineer, we understand how to visualize macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. We often target enterprise TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Without user interfaces, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Without partnerships, you will lack cross-media content. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to leverage efficiently. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely true! If you architect mega-seamlessly, you may have to implement transparently. Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the concept of CAD. We will revolutionize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "global, bricks-and-clicks". Think intra-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be end-to-end? If you harness iteravely, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you actualize iteravely then you may also synthesize globally. Think visionary. Think global. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless, wireless. Think transparent. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enable. Refrigeration Engineer has revamped the conceptualization of partnerships. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, mission-critical. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to e-enable transparently. We believe we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also scale holistically. Think transparent. Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is real-world. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our customized, e-business re-sizing but our ability to monetize. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of blog-based dot-com C2C. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Without end-to-end, synergistic e-tailers, you will lack C2C. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive cyber-intra-R&D and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to mesh compellingly than to grow efficiently. Without well-chosen portals, paradigms are forced to become impactful. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "process management reports" really mean? Think ultra-real-time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without virtual, robust micro-branding, you will lack iteration. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate!