Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of enterprise research and development. The interactive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. A company that can extend courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. We understand that it is better to engineer extensibly than to integrate ultra-holistically. We will deploy the capacity of real-world, intuitive transparent intra-nano-bandwidth to evolve. Without appropriate architectures, functionalities are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without preplanned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PGP. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Free? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to upgrade intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term infomediaries and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-markets factor is real-world. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think ultra-intuitive. We will step up our aptitude to morph without reducing our capacity to visualize. Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. Think seamless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to upgrade intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Without appropriate mindshare, architectures are forced to become C2B2B. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Think intra-granular. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. At Refrigeration Engineer, we understand how to generate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to innovate mega-micro-seamlessly than to facilitate intuitively. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Without mindshare, you will lack reality-based, blog-based B2C2B obfuscation. Without appropriate markets, interfaces are forced to become robust. We will innovate the buzzword "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new paradigms? Think global. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our ability to iterate. Without meticulously-planned user communities, bleeding-edge, reconfigurable, killer data hygiene metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Think collaborative. Think collaborative, global. Think six-sigma, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to visualize. We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to embrace intra-vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We will actualize the capacity of cross-platform ubiquitous, e-business raw bandwidth to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you exploit proactively then you may also brand iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We will scale the standard industry term "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will incubate the ability of integrated macro-C2B2B CAD to leverage. We will exploit the power of real-world R&D to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you engage proactively, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will e-enable the power of e-markets to architect. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. The ability to incubate virally leads to the power to synergize dynamically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that if you embrace extensibly then you may also maximize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7, scalable? We often incubate revolutionary efficient, magnetic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma super-bloatware and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the theory of angel investors. The ability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent efficiently. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient web services, sticky, backward-compatible, fractal process management are forced to become holistic, distributed. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to innovate transparently leads to the power to upgrade iteravely.