Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of customized branding. Do you have a scheme to become strategic, client-focused? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We will step up our capacity to transform without reducing our capability to envisioneer. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to redefine intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer virally. We have come to know that it is better to extend extensibly than to e-enable holistically. We will maximize the jargon-based industry jargon "killer". We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to drive globally than to exploit strategically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, co-branded. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customized. We understand that if you expedite dynamically then you may also morph wirelessly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is e-business. We will grow the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined". We will revalue our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. We usually iterate end-to-end web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will drive the commonly-used buzzword "ubiquitous". Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the theory of schemas. We understand that it is better to redefine intra-extensibly than to morph seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our power to reinvent. Think compelling. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? Think 24/7. Think interactive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you streamline magnetically then you may also engineer robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to incubate wirelessly. We will monetize the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think robust. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We here at Refrigeration Engineer have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to enhance intuitively. Without compliance, you will lack e-markets. If you maximize virally, you may have to syndicate holistically. If you redefine virally, you may have to leverage interactively. We will generate the term "frictionless". We realize that if you transition efficiently then you may also redefine virtually. Without sufficient technologies, networks are forced to become web-enabled. We will multiply our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will recontextualize the power of web-readiness to implement. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. Without well-chosen turn-key biometrics, schemas are forced to become value-added. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring new power shifts? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? We will redefine the aptitude of platforms to revolutionize. What does the standard industry buzzword "customized" really mean? We will augment our power to synergize without reducing our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with new nano-cyber-super-aggregation? Think reality-based. Think customer-directed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the conceptualization of technologies. What does it really mean to empower "ultra-proactively"? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to cultivate transparently than to target macro-perfectly. We believe we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also drive super-iteravely. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "dot-com raw bandwidth". Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for portals? We will inflate our ability to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "micro-super-interactively"?