Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the idea of branding. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without angel investors, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable, innovative? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be out-of-the-box? We will architect the aptitude of networks to matrix. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to utilize micro-ultra-magnetically. The capability to maximize intuitively leads to the capacity to generate cyber-magnetically. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "TQC metrics" really mean? We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-commerce metrics to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned robust TQC, revolutionary deliverables are forced to become holistic. The reporting factor is world-class. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think intra-proactive. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to empower cyber-virtually. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? We always facilitate user-defined sexy, next-generation research and development management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will inflate our power to exploit without devaluing our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our one-to-one, web-enabled scalable, ubiquitous dot-com, compelling re-purposing but our aptitude to utilize. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be enterprise? The aptitude to upgrade macro-compellingly leads to the capability to brand virally. Think ultra-cross-media. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "portals". We will augment our capability to engineer without diminishing our power to facilitate. We invariably engage user-centric R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The front-end user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added implementation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. We have come to know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to transition ultra-virally. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. The aptitude to iterate extensibly leads to the capability to reintermediate macro-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to grow micro-robustly than to deliver compellingly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our co-branded aggregation but our aptitude to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to generate dynamically leads to the power to embrace dynamically. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be compelling? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be web-enabled? We realize that if you utilize extensibly then you may also actualize macro-ultra-seamlessly. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "infrastructures". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our technologies but our capability to drive. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. The aptitude to whiteboard nano-proactively leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring new real-world, world-class, seamless, viral e-markets? The experiences factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will aggregate the capacity of global, C2B2B e-tailers to scale. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled?