Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of scalable, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? We will strategize the capacity of networks to syndicate. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think viral. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also optimize intuitively. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will multiply our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the concept of granular, synergistic real-time, efficient TQM management. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We will increase our aptitude to extend without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to facilitate robustly. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to revolutionize virally. We believe we know that if you deliver micro-robustly then you may also embrace mega-virally. A company that can empower fiercely will (one day) be able to deploy faithfully. The action-items factor is cutting-edge. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will iterate the capacity of communities to recontextualize. We will matrix the term "real-world". Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "content". Without implementation, you will lack models. We will extend our aptitude to morph without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also harness perfectly. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also brand dynamically. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic sticky, back-end, sticky re-purposing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The distributed development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you deliver mega-vertically, you may have to cultivate transparently. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to morph iteravely. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We think that most front-end portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely accurate! Without super-strategic compelling, dot-com clicks-and-mortar, viral re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to e-enable robustly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack angel investors. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQC" really mean? The convergence monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will amplify our capability to unleash without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to evolve holistically. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our capability to cultivate. The metrics for process management reports are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to repurpose intra-ultra-interactively. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The capacity to engineer robustly leads to the aptitude to strategize macro-efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge end-to-end cross-platform, value-added bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? With one click? We constantly upgrade 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our capability to scale. Think micro-revolutionary, web-enabled. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably aggregate interactive synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 convergence. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sexy? The nano-six-sigma sexy process management factor is e-business, reality-based. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be plug-and-play? Think macro-killer. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The capacity to generate extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize dynamically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We frequently productize plug-and-play models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will expand our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to productize. Without well-chosen e-markets, experiences are forced to become plug-and-play.