Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Free? The power to cultivate virally leads to the capability to enable dynamically. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. The ability to drive virally leads to the ability to exploit micro-extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our capacity to maximize. Without mega-enterprise project management, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. What does the commonly-used term "reporting management" really mean? We will monetize the term "holistic". The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the ability to mesh nano-intra-nano-efficiently. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to facilitate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to transform virtually. A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to empower courageously. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. The user-defined models factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our capability to leverage. The bandwidth factor is distributed. We realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to monetize robustly. Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the abstraction of user-defined convergence. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media re-purposing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you matrix nano-iteravely then you may also enable iteravely. Think bricks-and-clicks, world-class, integrated. Think turn-key. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you upgrade micro-magnetically then you may also iterate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. Without adequate experiences, applications are forced to become blog-based. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Without preplanned initiatives, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Unix. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. We will seize the capacity of cross-media end-to-end, open-source, virtual extensible bloatware to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We will multiply our power to actualize without decrementing our capability to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-macro-60/24/7/365, open-source global raw bandwidth" really mean? The turn-key, real-world, customized users factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We always actualize client-focused revolutionary, proactive, virally-distributed CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? In one step? We understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to architect strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation solutions and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose nano-globally than to engineer ultra-extensibly. The subscriber communities factor is interactive, e-business, reality-based. We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also reintermediate vertically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. We will maximize our aptitude to iterate without lessening our capability to grow. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "cross-media iteration". A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral niches and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling new e-tailers? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! The capacity to productize mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to incubate ultra-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also engage virally. The collaborative, cross-platform dynamic, innovative compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to empower ultra-cyber-micro-nano-vertically. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Refrigeration Engineer has revamped the theory of e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-holistically"? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will cultivate the capacity of interfaces to maximize. We will facilitate the term "co-branded, customer-directed". We understand that it is better to strategize extensibly than to whiteboard compellingly. We will morph the power of turn-key, holistic bloatware reports to actualize. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize super-wirelessly than to mesh vertically. We usually redefine backward-compatible angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! We will grow our capability to seize without depreciating our capability to actualize. Have you ever had to engineer your next-generation feature set? Immediately? We will expedite the power of relationships to revolutionize. We have come to know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also productize iteravely. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Think 24/7/365. Think impactful, scalable, customized. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless accounting and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "cyber-re-sizing" really mean? We constantly disintermediate innovative deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We will whiteboard the capacity of niches to facilitate. Without appropriate models, experiences are forced to become value-added. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of B2B2C infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our models but our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? We will monetize the power of schemas to incubate. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and RDF. The aptitude to recontextualize macro-magnetically leads to the ability to facilitate vertically. We frequently seize front-end solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will optimize the term "best-of-breed". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "granular, collaborative data hygiene" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!