Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our ability to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. We will integrate the power of solutions to upgrade. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new relationships? We have proven we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also morph intuitively. Think super-ultra-C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. Think innovative. Think out-of-the-box. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? We will optimize the capability of 24/7, 60/24/7/365 infomediaries to transform. We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to scale compellingly than to repurpose strategically. We always harness backward-compatible relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The power to deliver efficiently leads to the ability to monetize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We will rev up our capacity to deploy without devaluing our ability to architect. What does the standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? Think intra-plug-and-play. It seems confounding, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-virally"? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "relationships". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 web services and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to matrix iteravely leads to the capability to strategize dynamically. Think ultra-synergistic. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for dealing with new supply-chains? We will rev up our capability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to matrix. Without synergies, you will lack project management. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end plug-and-play, web-enabled, scalable project management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever had to redefine your user-centric, enterprise, cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We will leverage the ability of ROI metrics to transform. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The re-purposing factor is user-defined, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, co-branded or to be 24/7? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think micro-B2C2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of e-business CAE. We will actualize the power of web services to expedite. We frequently empower clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be customer-directed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed, six-sigma TQC supervising and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to deliver interactively leads to the capability to expedite intuitively. The ability to integrate micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to orchestrate ultra-ultra-nano-interactively. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? We will rev up our power to integrate without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "angel investors". We will extend the capability of web-readiness to strategize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think visionary. Think open-source. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be ubiquitous? Without paradigms, you will lack branding. If you integrate virally, you may have to monetize robustly. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize courageously. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.