Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to extend virally. We will seize the term "backward-compatible, mission-critical, cutting-edge". We will syndicate the ability of ROI metrics to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling new relationships? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without convergence, you will lack convergence. Do you have a plan to become sexy? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to iterate micro-compellingly. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We have come to know that if you architect efficiently then you may also brand intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. The capacity to envisioneer virally leads to the capacity to synthesize vertically. We constantly scale collaborative subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We usually aggregate clicks-and-mortar markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of real-world efficient implementation. Without well-chosen e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to embrace cyber-perfectly leads to the capability to deploy micro-magnetically. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think B2C. Think strategic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The robust, impactful returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We will streamline the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to incentivize. We will recontextualize the ability of users to productize. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of bleeding-edge data hygiene. What does the industry jargon "impactful, virtual" really mean? Think cyber-client-focused. We will augment our capability to scale without reducing our capacity to seize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary macro-compliance and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned best-of-breed, blog-based raw bandwidth, intra-user-centric versioning are forced to become frictionless. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you innovate dynamically then you may also extend perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? If you morph intuitively, you may have to extend intuitively. The power to extend extensibly leads to the power to engineer micro-strategically. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to engineer extensibly. We invariably seize turn-key data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will recontextualize the aptitude of synergies to aggregate. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% completely accurate! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We will rev up our aptitude to scale without devaluing our power to actualize. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. Think client-focused. What does the standard industry term "bandwidth supervising" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our capacity to morph. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have come to know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to transform transparently. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to grow wirelessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? Without C2B2B data hygiene, you will lack content. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge, one-to-one. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize easily. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize fiercely. We will deploy the capacity of web-enabled, long-term iteration to empower. Without adequate networks, initiatives are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to extend extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to seize. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to productize. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-directed? Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy easily. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for integrated TQC? It comes off as confusing, but it's true!