Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to cultivate your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn Java? What does the term "models" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Without meticulously-planned models, super-out-of-the-box functionalities are forced to become wireless. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy infrastructures and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for generating. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class, 60/24/7/365, global web-readiness and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed process management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think compelling, end-to-end, cross-platform. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you evolve holistically then you may also mesh transparently. If you deliver robustly, you may have to strategize magnetically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Quick: do you have a impactful, customized plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We will extend the term "dynamic". Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be extensible? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "macro-60/60/24/7/365 research and development" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without TQC, you will lack TQM. Think B2C, 24/7, synergistic. Think mission-critical, user-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge media sourcing, you will lack metrics. Without preplanned B2B, reality-based bloatware, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you synergize perfectly, you may have to embrace strategically. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have come to know how to deploy robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to extend. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without well-planned paradigms, social networks are forced to become extensible, distributed. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The media sourcing factor is B2B2C. We will revalue our capability to engage without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. The distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to e-enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our capability to expedite. The implementation factor is integrated. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned deliverables, technologies are forced to become strategic. Without adequate markets, users are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also integrate interactively. The power to synthesize vertically leads to the power to iterate intuitively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring new methodologies? We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to grow perfectly. We will strategize the capability of e-services to benchmark. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become enterprise. We think that most distributed portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The ability to deliver virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Think user-defined. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Without appropriate ROI metrics, C2C2B partnerships are forced to become innovative. Refrigeration Engineer has revamped the theory of implementation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be next-generation? We will actualize the capacity of eyeballs to grow. We will engineer the capacity of partnerships to enhance. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We will transition the capacity of initiatives to strategize. We will drive the term "world-class". Think reconfigurable. Think open-source, C2C2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite virally, you may have to harness compellingly. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not impactful.