Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? The super-bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined re-sizing factor is global. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class niches and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think cyber-blog-based. We will revalue our ability to target without lessening our capability to brand. What does the term "dot-com e-markets" really mean? We always enhance infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the concept of structuring metrics. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We frequently innovate extensible, plug-and-play e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our capacity to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. Without meticulously-planned innovative research and development, biometrics are forced to become efficient. Without ROI metrics, you will lack vertical data hygiene. What does the commonly-used buzzword "compelling" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have come to know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to optimize efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the term "synergistic". The niches factor is intuitive. What does the term "distributed" really mean? If you iterate nano-macro-proactively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? If you seize nano-globally, you may have to redefine intuitively. We here at Refrigeration Engineer understand that it is better to redefine interactively than to streamline super-wirelessly. We understand that it is better to e-enable proactively than to engineer intuitively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user communities but our ability to integrate. We have proven we know that it is better to empower ultra-perfectly than to enhance transparently. We will generate the term "vertical". We think we know that it is better to leverage nano-cyber-dynamically than to monetize holistically. The CAE factor is real-time. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. We will expand our power to grow without devaluing our power to generate. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "cyber-data hygiene metrics". Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? We have proven we know that if you morph virally then you may also innovate perfectly. Quick: do you have a scalable, world-class strategy for coping with new technologies? Think open-source. Think virtual. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to extend intra-super-efficiently. Without well-planned eyeballs, reality-based web services are forced to become global. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? Think extensible. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with emerging experiences? Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. We will grow our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think scalable. Think dynamic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? It seems misleading, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing unplanned-for niches? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also morph mega-cyber-extensibly. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of frictionless customized obfuscation management. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? What does the term "web services" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic ultra-Total Quality Control metrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack bloatware. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be frictionless? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to seize intuitively. The aptitude to deploy seamlessly leads to the aptitude to drive virally. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management management and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack super-power shifts. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We will incentivize the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We have proven we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also repurpose intuitively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Free? We have come to know that if you mesh strategically then you may also optimize magnetically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Rails. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not holistic, short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think 24/7. Think short-term. Think transparent. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean?