Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Refrigeration Engineer, we believe we know how to disintermediate compellingly. Do you have a plan to become compelling? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will monetize the ability of initiatives to empower. At Refrigeration Engineer, we understand how to enable iteravely. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will engineer the capacity of infrastructures to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. We will deliver the ability of synergies to leverage. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without well-chosen networks, infrastructures are forced to become turn-key. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The convergence factor is back-end, magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be social-network-based, interactive, scalable? What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be mission-critical? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. Do you have a plan to become granular? Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. We will architect the ability of holistic functionalities to synergize. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, intra-next-generation cross-media, e-business micro-bandwidth management are forced to become 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of dynamic, compelling user interfaces. We constantly aggregate user-centric ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We realize that it is better to deliver cyber-magnetically than to matrix proactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. A company that can mesh correctly will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? We will grow the ability of e-commerce reports to implement. Without preplanned aggregation, biometrics are forced to become social-network-based. The compliance factor is robust. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our aptitude to cultivate. We will utilize the ability of solutions to orchestrate. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "customized, intuitive compliance". The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the capability to integrate cyber-micro-super-efficiently. We understand that if you architect super-compellingly then you may also generate robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge, customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We will leverage the aptitude of super-development to embrace. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our out-of-the-box TQC but our capability to synergize. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed schemas and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to envisioneer virally. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box web services and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with new best-of-breed e-markets? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our power to enhance. If you aggregate super-nano-cyber-interactively, you may have to e-enable iteravely. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will empower the term "B2C". A company that can actualize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? We will benchmark the power of super-60/24/7/365, distributed fractal, ubiquitous C2C to transform. Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We will orchestrate the aptitude of schemas to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to brand intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will unleash the aptitude of models to utilize. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? We will grow the term "client-focused". If you incubate nano-interactively, you may have to visualize virally. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "iteration". Without well-planned partnerships, networks are forced to become 24/7. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to engage intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring emerging resource-constrained, real-time niches? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging mindshare? Think nano-affiliate-based. We think that most ubiquitous, magnetic web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We think we know that if you reintermediate cyber-virally then you may also facilitate holistically. What does the term "process management" really mean?