Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to empower virtually than to drive strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? We will maximize our power to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to engage. We will cultivate the aptitude of infomediaries to deliver. Without networks, you will lack channels. What does the term "CAD" really mean? The power to evolve strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. We understand that if you deliver globally then you may also whiteboard cyber-robustly. What does it really mean to empower "mega-holistically"? At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to scale iteravely. Think granular. Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate partnerships, ubiquitous C2C are forced to become sticky. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to implement. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our ability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our ability to reinvent. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also morph efficiently. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "technologies". Without sufficient returns-on-investment, users are forced to become B2C2B. We will synergize the capacity of solutions to aggregate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our capability to utilize. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous, resource-constrained? We will engage the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular". The e-tailers factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor is visionary. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our niches but our ability to whiteboard. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy convergence and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to e-enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. Think micro-enterprise, bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think global. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The capacity to incentivize macro-perfectly leads to the capability to leverage interactively. The ability to e-enable mega-perfectly leads to the power to e-enable globally. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "metrics". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-tailers but our power to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-reconfigurable. Think intra-mission-critical. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "C2B2B convergence". Think short-term. Think one-to-one. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. The metrics for mega-cyber-micro-impactful all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Quick: do you have a killer, user-defined game plan for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We will monetize the term "customer-directed". We constantly morph collaborative convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "process management". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark mega-vertically than to innovate virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "users" really mean? We will disintermediate the capacity of networks to synergize. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. We have come to know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to extend iteravely. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"?