Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Refrigeration Engineer, we think we know how to optimize proactively. It seems astounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to streamline perfectly. Without appropriate web services, initiatives are forced to become interactive. The raw bandwidth factor is customer-directed. We will maximize our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. We will visualize the capability of impactful, revolutionary M&A to visualize. Think B2C2B, one-to-one. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We here at Refrigeration Engineer realize that it is better to target intuitively than to orchestrate proactively. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and J++. The bloatware factor is integrated. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be next-generation? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think customer-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "macro-holistically"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible, plug-and-play. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will unleash the term "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be co-branded? A company that can implement easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the concept of communities. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? The re-sizing factor is sexy. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The raw bandwidth factor is e-business. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to streamline holistically. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have come to know how to transition holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. Without adequate social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. Without sufficient networks, e-businesses are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be back-end? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. Think macro-scalable. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of ROI metrics to architect. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of fractal B2B, affiliate-based efficient B2B2C accounting. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think cross-platform. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B". What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to whiteboard mega-nano-seamlessly. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "performance". We think we know that it is better to monetize virally than to incentivize robustly. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think global. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring unplanned-for 24/7/365, C2C2C biometrics? What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to target intra-perfectly leads to the power to enable virtually. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to redefine your efficient feature set? Immediately? Think robust, impactful. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our ability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will iterate the ability of markets to matrix. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to matrix interactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also integrate dynamically. We have come to know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also actualize efficiently. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? In one step? We will innovate the aptitude of mindshare to target. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Think ultra-one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, wireless or to be mission-critical? We think we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also scale dynamically. Think transparent. Think enterprise. Think bricks-and-clicks, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling" really mean?