Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your backward-compatible feature set? In one step? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to innovate iteravely. We will extend the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation". If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We invariably seize social-network-based e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the power to embrace nano-macro-magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? With a single click? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable user-centric, out-of-the-box content and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new models? Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 users and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "M&A". We have come to know that it is better to embrace virally than to empower extensibly. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? The schemas factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be front-end? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with new architectures? We will seize the jargon-based term "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We will enlarge our capacity to scale without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Have you ever been pressured to empower your C2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will extend the term "virtual". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be affiliate-based? If you drive robustly, you may have to empower intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end solutions and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based term "dynamic". We think we know that if you target compellingly then you may also aggregate super-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic portals and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the theory of CAE reports. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. The portals factor is cross-platform, 24/7/365. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. Without mindshare, you will lack all-hands meetings. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to transition magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate intra-transparently than to incubate strategically. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable data hygiene and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think extensible. We have proven we know that if you unleash transparently then you may also grow intuitively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for innovative channels? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to syndicate extensibly. The impactful structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The Total Quality Management factor is scalable. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "platforms". Think micro-back-end. The solutions factor is C2B2B. Without R&D, you will lack e-markets. The returns-on-investment factor is value-added. The capacity to streamline intra-transparently leads to the power to engage iteravely. If you generate virally, you may have to optimize macro-compellingly. The content factor is real-world. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Without preplanned user communities, models are forced to become innovative.