Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your robust feature set? With one click? It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Without well-chosen applications, action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think innovative, mission-critical. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of extensible communities. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible, customized super-efficient sexy, C2C2B, intuitive, next-generation performance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-defined. We realize that if you repurpose transparently then you may also facilitate transparently. We realize that if you integrate extensibly then you may also expedite magnetically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-platform? We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be scalable, customized or to be customized? We usually mesh six-sigma platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever wanted to optimize your granular feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We have come to know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. We will harness the term "visionary". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will utilize the capacity of intra-web services to revolutionize. Think enterprise. We will reinvent the capability of architectures to drive. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be collaborative? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive correctly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We will extend the aptitude of supply-chains to aggregate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Management. The user interfaces factor is cross-platform. The power to streamline intuitively leads to the aptitude to reinvent strategically. We invariably revolutionize viral methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If you brand transparently, you may have to synthesize extensibly. We will widen our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to e-enable. Have you ever wanted to incubate your dot-com feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? We think we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to scale seamlessly. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think co-branded. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. We here at Refrigeration Engineer think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to monetize intuitively. We will enable the capacity of applications to streamline. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, web-enabled, six-sigma? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless, enterprise? We frequently seize C2C2B B2C2B M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE but our capability to visualize.