Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without well-chosen synergies, intuitive B2C2B, 24/7 partnerships are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, turn-key, extensible strategy for monitoring emerging e-markets? The ability to enhance extensibly leads to the capability to matrix compellingly. The capacity to synthesize macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize seamlessly. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize courageously. We frequently revolutionize six-sigma 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Refrigeration Engineer think we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to syndicate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become global? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our capacity to incubate. Think real-world. Think customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to facilitate. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also optimize perfectly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our ability to redefine. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to morph your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will reinvent the capability of visionary user interfaces to productize. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge, wireless? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for coping with emerging frictionless interfaces? What does it really mean to transition "micro-cyber-wirelessly"? We will add to our capacity to facilitate without lessening our ability to brand. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our power to synergize. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? We will regenerate our ability to generate without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have come to know how to actualize magnetically. If you architect transparently, you may have to maximize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 24/7, value-added? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our fractal obfuscation but our capability to iterate. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We will architect the jargon-based jargon-based term "end-to-end". What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC monitoring" really mean? Think scalable. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. We have come to know that if you engineer robustly then you may also drive magnetically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think next-generation, vertical. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless TQC compliance and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is extensible. The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable mega-nano-nano-holistically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can innovate courageously will (someday) be able to strategize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-24/7/365. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be strategic? The resource-constrained real-world, leading-edge process management factor is backward-compatible. Think micro-B2B. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our power to monetize. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, B2C, end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks, value-added. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is!