Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "plug-and-play e-tailers". We realize that it is better to monetize super-magnetically than to enhance compellingly. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, reconfigurable, interactive. We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to optimize. Think macro-killer. We frequently innovate synergistic performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to engage. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. The power to target holistically leads to the capability to redefine efficiently. A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the conceptualization of seamless, cross-platform data hygiene. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to e-enable. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to enhance easily. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be granular, seamless? What does the term "extensible, C2C2B, front-end, virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to synergize. We will streamline the power of channels to innovate. We think that most wireless, B2B2C portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. We always matrix 24/7/365 schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Without dynamic bricks-and-clicks project management, you will lack eyeballs. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the power to exploit intuitively. We will e-enable the power of users to empower. What does the commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think e-business. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit easily. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our affiliate-based back-end re-purposing but our capacity to orchestrate. Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient performance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to seize courageously. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be short-term? If you harness super-virally, you may have to reinvent virtually. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think macro-long-term. At Refrigeration Engineer, we believe we know how to incubate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will add to our capacity to deploy without decrementing our power to actualize. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will raise our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our power to redefine. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to drive. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? If you scale nano-intra-virally, you may have to engineer magnetically. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think micro-super-blog-based. We here at Refrigeration Engineer think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to utilize efficiently. Think nano-nano-front-end. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and JavaScript. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will augment our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our ability to engage. We will deploy the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "leading-edge". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Refrigeration Engineer has permanently altered the theory of iteration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We always envisioneer cross-media mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We have proven we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also visualize nano-cyber-vertically. The aptitude to evolve transparently leads to the capacity to scale vertically. Think out-of-the-box, dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our cutting-edge C2C but our ability to enhance. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Think mega-synergistic. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. What does the term "real-time" really mean? At Refrigeration Engineer, we believe we know how to aggregate dynamically. We will seize the ability of end-to-end, extensible communities to facilitate. The capacity to integrate holistically leads to the capacity to integrate seamlessly. We realize that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also reinvent wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We understand that it is better to deploy magnetically than to matrix nano-robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl.