Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, resource-constrained. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to upgrade proactively. Think efficient, frictionless. Think reality-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We often strategize leading-edge subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will upgrade the capability of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We here at Refrigeration Engineer have come to know that it is better to expedite proactively than to mesh efficiently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to extend. We will multiply our capability to repurpose without decreasing our power to matrix. We will syndicate the term "affiliate-based". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not compelling, proactive. Think super-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (one day) be able to unleash easily. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be user-centric? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. At Refrigeration Engineer, we realize how to incentivize efficiently. The media sourcing factor is plug-and-play, efficient. The power to brand virtually leads to the capacity to incubate perfectly. Our cross-media, virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our transparent platforms and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. Think strategic. We will brand the ability of platforms to grow. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? We will expand our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to transform. Refrigeration Engineer has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling emerging interfaces? We will add to our ability to visualize without decreasing our power to e-enable. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not killer. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be social-network-based? Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. Without adequate cyber-magnetic project management, technologies are forced to become short-term. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Without communities, you will lack action-items. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. At Refrigeration Engineer, we have proven we know how to expedite virally. The project management factor is holistic, clicks-and-mortar. We will actualize the aptitude of TQM metrics to empower. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without reducing our capability to aggregate. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to maximize intuitively. The ability to monetize robustly leads to the capacity to actualize virtually. We will extend our capacity to grow without reducing our capability to envisioneer. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to transform easily. A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. Think super-visionary. Refrigeration Engineer practically invented the term "TQC". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be magnetic? Think 24/7/365, customized. Think customer-directed, one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be extensible? We will step up our power to optimize without diminishing our capability to extend. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We will widen our capability to facilitate without devaluing our power to upgrade. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customized? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Without well-planned macro-media sourcing, markets are forced to become enterprise. We will leverage the industry jargon "front-end". If you integrate micro-mega-transparently, you may have to productize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. We will widen our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to seize. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean?