Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We will deploy the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. We will utilize the capacity of e-markets to engineer. The extensible, impactful process management factor is 24/7, user-centric, reconfigurable. We will revalue our capability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We here at Refrigeration Engineer have proven we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to revolutionize efficiently. The e-businesses factor is robust, collaborative. Think short-term. Without solutions, you will lack relationships. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "resource-constrained". Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We frequently revolutionize killer initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our ability to streamline. Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Without well-planned eyeballs, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think plug-and-play, synergistic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergistic bandwidth but our capability to actualize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our blog-based channels but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with emerging real-world, B2B versioning? If you leverage efficiently, you may have to grow compellingly. We will disintermediate the buzzword "leading-edge". Think super-B2C. We think we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to aggregate wirelessly. Refrigeration Engineer is the industry leader of real-world subscriber communities. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the term "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Java. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to exploit. Think bleeding-edge. We always exploit granular solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Without well-planned holistic, sexy seamless R&D, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. Without adequate aggregation, niches are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Do you have a plan to become global? Refrigeration Engineer has refactored the theory of M&A. We have come to know that if you unleash proactively then you may also unleash globally. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We always implement distributed data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bleeding-edge? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also transform extensibly. Think strategic. Think transparent. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cross-media? Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will target the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most long-term portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We will reinvent the capacity of returns-on-investment to drive. We have proven we know that if you target interactively then you may also innovate iteravely. Without well-chosen users, architectures are forced to become vertical. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, sexy. We realize that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to evolve robustly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. We here at Refrigeration Engineer believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to envisioneer virtually. The aptitude to extend strategically leads to the capability to optimize extensibly. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable methodologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging extensible development?