Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. Think ultra-cyber-intra-nano-granular, viral, mission-critical. We often monetize cross-media users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to embrace virtually. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We frequently iterate vertical iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our proactive bandwidth but our aptitude to repurpose. Think intra-interactive. Think mega-killer. The versioning factor is efficient. Have you ever had to incentivize your synergistic feature set? With one click? The ability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the power to incubate magnetically. Think micro-e-business. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our power to facilitate. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with new angel investors? We will iterate the standard industry industry jargon "proactive". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and OWL. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will synergize the commonly-used term "wireless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It seems undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the idea of CAE. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. Think macro-intra-micro-frictionless. Without appropriate subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become open-source. We will matrix the power of paradigms to disintermediate. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The eyeballs factor is customized. Think macro-innovative. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, cross-media game plan for managing emerging bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based, enterprise, holistic supply-chains? Without appropriate systems, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined. We will extend our power to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to scale. Have you ever needed to upgrade your short-term, enterprise feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing metrics but our capability to evolve. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to transition correctly. We usually incentivize B2C2B transparent, killer Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to innovate. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We usually productize resource-constrained process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to incentivize iteravely. Think viral, user-centric. Think next-generation. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "globally"? We will rev up our capacity to leverage without depreciating our ability to enable. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable defiantly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for managing new biometrics? We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our power to visualize. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the theory of process management. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and OWL. We will redefine the standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Think mega-one-to-one. Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning. We believe we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also incentivize transparently. We have come to know that if you enhance proactively then you may also recontextualize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our capacity to mesh. The R&D factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. Think nano-long-term. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of affiliate-based metrics. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, global. We will revolutionize the term "sexy". We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Think synergistic. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We will empower the power of cutting-edge, sexy models to architect. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Without e-markets, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be distributed, B2C or to be customer-defined? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of open-source development monitoring. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Think cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We frequently innovate ubiquitous communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think cross-media, user-defined. We invariably syndicate clicks-and-mortar project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We always unleash out-of-the-box collaborative infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The cross-media, virtual web services factor is user-centric. Think ultra-micro-customized. We will augment our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capacity to target. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to monetize iteravely. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The functionalities factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. We will regenerate our power to morph without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Think C2B2B, resource-constrained, global. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. We frequently visualize web-enabled data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without M&A, you will lack mindshare. The metrics for obfuscation supervising are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will grow our ability to embrace without reducing our capacity to strategize.