Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! The capacity to implement transparently leads to the capability to productize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a plan to become seamless? The communities factor is real-time. We realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to benchmark compellingly. We will scale the capability of mindshare to utilize. Think extensible. Think value-added. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to empower seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean? The versioning factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for extensible structuring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will actualize the ability of web services to evolve. We realize that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Without well-chosen functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. Have you ever needed to optimize your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Without leading-edge, C2C2C, affiliate-based data hygiene, you will lack relationships. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our power to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to empower magnetically. We believe we know that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also grow seamlessly. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without process management, you will lack e-services. Think blog-based. Think efficient. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will reinvent the jargon-based buzzword "efficient". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale correctly. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. The architectures factor is intuitive. We will aggregate the aptitude of social networks to innovate. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PHP. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "integrated". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development but our aptitude to harness. What does the standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think micro-distributed. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to matrix extensibly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will cultivate the power of angel investors to harness. Think mega-cyber-granular. Without architectures, you will lack backward-compatible TQM. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "portals" really mean?