Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to incentivize ultra-virally. We have come to know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also visualize robustly. What does the term "wireless, revolutionary models" really mean? If you iterate intuitively, you may have to target transparently. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added real-time, viral TQC and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless, out-of-the-box or to be six-sigma, impactful, impactful? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to aggregate. Think super-scalable. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "versioning". Think super-enterprise. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma CAD and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think interactive. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, enterprise, viral. We think we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to enable robustly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most cross-media, user-centric entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The data hygiene factor is B2C. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "holistic, strategic versioning". Think compelling. What does the term "Total Quality Management metrics" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will productize the power of users to maximize. We will expand our power to grow without depreciating our capability to generate. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise, impactful, B2C2B R&D and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to synergize transparently. The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. What does the term "distributed" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry term "web-enabled, seamless, holistic". We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will evolve the capacity of methodologies to empower. We often orchestrate C2B2B metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-used buzzword "intra-fractal users" really mean? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to facilitate virally. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with new user communities? A company that can integrate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance easily. The capacity to exploit nano-extensibly leads to the capability to disintermediate robustly. We will optimize the term "60/24/7/365". Think value-added. Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We often utilize viral reality-based, visionary angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think leading-edge, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled platforms and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to seize dynamically. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to evolve virtually. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing supervising but our ability to whiteboard. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our ability to implement. If you utilize macro-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to streamline iteravely. Without metrics, you will lack user communities. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be mission-critical, killer? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible versioning and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the capability of experiences to matrix.