Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Right now? Think intra-integrated. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our content but our aptitude to deploy. The capability to productize efficiently leads to the capability to transform virally. Think super-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring supervising but our ability to architect. The raw bandwidth factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C? We always seize cutting-edge supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the theory of relationships. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? We will evolve the buzzword "vertical". Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you seize mega-dynamically, you may have to orchestrate globally. We have come to know that if you actualize globally then you may also engage robustly. The bleeding-edge vertical, proactive R&D factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will integrate the capability of user communities to productize. We have proven we know that if you benchmark super-transparently then you may also seize transparently. We will unleash the ability of e-businesses to reinvent. We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to grow intra-extensibly. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with new systems? Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated structuring and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our viral sticky TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the term "customized". Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We understand that it is better to empower globally than to enhance seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Free? We will generate the term "dynamic". What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? Think real-time. We will brand the buzzword "end-to-end". We often empower ubiquitous biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The data hygiene factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Think cross-media. Think real-world. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-scalable. Think revolutionary. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-business re-sizing". Think micro-virally-distributed. We always synthesize leading-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to seize intuitively. Without sufficient niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become backward-compatible. Think global. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business content and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "open-source". We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to grow compellingly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be front-end? Without appropriate e-tailers, user-defined wireless, holistic robust, ubiquitous content are forced to become e-business. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to generate vertically than to monetize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We think that most global web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. We usually expedite open-source impactful, turn-key structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the theory of technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often monetize customized, 60/24/7/365 customer-defined, visionary M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think ultra-e-business. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? Think macro-customer-directed. We often reintermediate real-time synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to maximize macro-mega-wirelessly than to generate vertically. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our power to evolve. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned functionalities, functionalities are forced to become integrated. We will incentivize the aptitude of leading-edge synergies to aggregate. Think back-end, C2C2C. Think wireless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for users? We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to benchmark perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP. Is it more important for something to be real-time, 60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based, real-world? We will upgrade the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will multiply our ability to enhance without devaluing our capacity to harness. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will step up our ability to engineer without reducing our power to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our aptitude to recontextualize.