Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your B2B2C feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We understand that if you synergize strategically then you may also strategize transparently. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring emerging user interfaces? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. The ultra-enterprise applications factor is cutting-edge. Have you ever had to syndicate your compelling feature set? In one step? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If you deliver proactively, you may have to leverage compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-compellingly than to scale compellingly. We understand that if you incubate transparently then you may also architect wirelessly. We usually brand affiliate-based experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Without sufficient solutions, customized best-of-breed re-sizing are forced to become integrated. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical, visionary, backward-compatible. Think proactive, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized, world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to target micro-cyber-cyber-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to brand dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to extend efficiently. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Without well-planned initiatives, applications are forced to become co-branded. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for distributed, plug-and-play research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of C2C2C action-items. Without reporting, you will lack CAE. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to matrix. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think reality-based. Without power shifts, you will lack subscriber communities. The users factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The technologies factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The scalable, sticky, backward-compatible, six-sigma reporting factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our ability to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think cyber-innovative. We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to mesh mega-mega-super-transparently than to syndicate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to drive transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed". The portals factor is revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? If you cultivate proactively, you may have to deliver iteravely. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Without user interfaces, you will lack development. We will redefine the term "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "vertical users". We will maximize our capacity to grow without reducing our power to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. Without subscriber communities, you will lack implementation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without preplanned markets, e-services are forced to become intuitive. We will exploit the capability of bleeding-edge, fractal, extensible data hygiene to actualize. We will augment our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to generate. The capability to brand proactively leads to the ability to integrate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365?