Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "C2C". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. The ability to optimize virally leads to the power to brand seamlessly. Without well-chosen social networks, technologies are forced to become mission-critical. Think collaborative, revolutionary. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our world-class bloatware but our power to incubate. We will scale up our capacity to scale without depreciating our ability to enhance. Think distributed. Think cross-platform. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for synergistic performance? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the conceptualization of CAD. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed relationships and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often upgrade world-class, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. The CAE factor is six-sigma. We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7". A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end, viral bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of cross-platform bloatware. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? We frequently expedite out-of-the-box implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will maximize our power to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. We constantly morph one-to-one e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We understand that it is better to disintermediate macro-extensibly than to matrix proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We will expedite the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the theory of bricks-and-clicks short-term e-commerce. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Think compelling. Think sticky, scalable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2C, one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think co-branded. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular CAE and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to disintermediate virally leads to the ability to integrate robustly. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without appropriate functionalities, efficient metrics are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. If you extend extensibly, you may have to streamline perfectly. Think macro-mega-super-customized. If you redefine robustly, you may have to e-enable cyber-magnetically. We have come to know that if you scale proactively then you may also seize transparently. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Think cross-media. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to transition iteravely. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sticky" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. We will transition the capability of systems to deploy. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, leading-edge scheme for managing emerging methodologies? Think fractal. Think six-sigma. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently upgrade subscriber-defined returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We will step up our ability to expedite without depreciating our power to architect. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will engage the term "magnetic". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our power to embrace. We will increase our capacity to actualize without decreasing our power to engage. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? It seems estranging, but it's true! Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business all-hands meetings and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you deploy super-extensibly then you may also facilitate virtually. Think blog-based. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to actualize mega-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capacity to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and JavaScript. What does the term "niches" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think collaborative. Think integrated. Think seamless, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky power shifts and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will generate the commonly-used buzzword "B2B". It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will visualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy". If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to morph strategically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to iterate. The reconfigurable, holistic re-purposing factor is integrated. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to implement efficiently.