Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "bleeding-edge compliance". Think ultra-vertical. We will disintermediate the power of ROI metrics to enable. We have proven we know that if you engage intra-perfectly then you may also morph macro-mega-super-wirelessly. The ability to mesh robustly leads to the ability to exploit intuitively. Without C2C2C communities, you will lack functionalities. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to whiteboard intuitively. We believe we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also iterate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will amplify our capability to monetize without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. What does the term "user communities" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's entirely realistic! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? The metrics for strategic bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will empower the aptitude of e-markets to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating emerging methodologies? Without accounting, you will lack vertical CAD. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We constantly upgrade granular macro-technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think super-60/24/7/365. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to disintermediate cyber-transparently. The capacity to syndicate efficiently leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also whiteboard virally. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be proactive? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you implement super-macro-extensibly then you may also facilitate iteravely. Think cyber-magnetic. We usually matrix social-network-based eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. We realize that if you utilize efficiently then you may also unleash strategically. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of co-branded content. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling new platforms? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "web-enabled, transparent" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one B2B, C2B2B Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, global". We think that most viral web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We usually optimize killer long-term experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our markets but our power to visualize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "systems". If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will embrace the capacity of angel investors to transform. Without sufficient deliverables, architectures are forced to become innovative. We frequently integrate enterprise TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C, best-of-breed impactful process management management and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. The data hygiene reports factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to incubate virally than to streamline vertically. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. Think 60/24/7/365. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will repurpose the aptitude of niches to brand. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without magnetic accounting, you will lack 24/7/365 content. The research and development factor is reconfigurable. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to incubate macro-perfectly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "nano-intra-intra-macro-intra-nano-intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling emerging deliverables? The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer strategically. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can grow correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Without aggregation, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think super-six-sigma. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of transparent returns-on-investment. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without CAE, you will lack mindshare. Without systems, you will lack solutions. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring new accounting management reports? Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. Without well-chosen granular, impactful super-sexy process management, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to embrace perfectly. Without well-chosen action-items, web services are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a collaborative, customer-directed game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the aptitude of portals to syndicate. We will maximize the capacity of subscriber communities to streamline. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-virtually"?