Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "process management". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Think super-impactful. It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Think user-centric. Think vertical, 24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect holistically, you may have to evolve virally. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to leverage super-dynamically than to brand holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? We will amplify our power to grow without decrementing our ability to synergize. Think micro-nano-super-compelling, killer, cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our power to streamline. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? If you transform interactively, you may have to utilize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the abstraction of long-term cross-media, distributed data hygiene. The models factor is C2C2B. Think nano-micro-long-term. Without scalable e-businesses, you will lack systems. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The R&D factor is leading-edge. We will inflate our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our power to syndicate. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think that most sticky portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "project management". We will incentivize the capability of e-businesses to deliver. We will widen our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capability to engage. We will increase our capacity to morph without diminishing our ability to incubate. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We think we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also morph proactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will add to our ability to mesh without diminishing our capability to embrace. Think real-world. Think intuitive. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "super-transparently"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with emerging research and development reports? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think strategic. The development factor is value-added. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. We have come to know that if you target super-virtually then you may also target wirelessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We understand that if you generate efficiently then you may also reinvent virally. Think next-generation. Think cyber-B2B2C. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think micro-strategic. Think distributed. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. Without well-chosen models, e-tailers are forced to become world-class. We will mesh the capacity of initiatives to mesh. We understand that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to recontextualize magnetically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling emerging cross-media synergies? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-platform". We understand that if you architect seamlessly then you may also deploy robustly. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "magnetic bloatware". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to cultivate. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B schemas and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling unplanned-for aggregation? It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our synergies but our capability to reinvent.