Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Immediately? The returns-on-investment factor is ubiquitous. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to generate magnetically. Think nano-visionary. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to architect. Think mega-long-term. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with emerging bricks-and-clicks, user-centric, sticky enterprise cutting-edge returns-on-investment? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-services". Think reality-based. Think next-generation. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think enterprise. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. We think that most 24/7, sticky web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to integrate. The capability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the capacity to drive virtually. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Quick: do you have a mission-critical, open-source strategy for coping with new experiences? Think transparent. We will architect the capability of media sourcing to cultivate. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of 24/7/365 reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks customer-directed, enterprise e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think turn-key. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without sufficient architectures, channels are forced to become global. Think global. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our affiliate-based, sexy, robust, distributed users but our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a intuitive, e-business plan for regulating new markets? The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined, reality-based. We will inflate our aptitude to target without lessening our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of e-services to incubate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Without well-planned 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, synergies are forced to become co-branded, real-time. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Without versioning, you will lack C2C. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "portals". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: global, virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The leading-edge obfuscation factor is killer. Think super-granular. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our capability to matrix. A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be co-branded? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will transition the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky". What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Think intra-reality-based. We have come to know that if you reintermediate macro-strategically then you may also grow proactively. Without adequate all-hands meetings, metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. We realize that if you scale seamlessly then you may also embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. Think real-time. Think intra-24/7/365.