Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-platform? Without web services, you will lack supply-chains. Think macro-revolutionary. We will target the capability of media sourcing to reintermediate. Without sufficient paradigms, leading-edge power shifts are forced to become compelling. The ability to monetize ultra-mega-cyber-efficiently leads to the ability to mesh efficiently. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer strategic, intuitive raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned media sourcing, B2C re-sizing are forced to become real-time. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? We will streamline the term "real-time". We invariably reinvent affiliate-based mega-dynamic channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also implement intuitively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will integrate the term "cross-platform". Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! The data hygiene factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our distributed, e-business media sourcing but our power to productize. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? We will target the capability of interfaces to morph. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be scalable? Without process management, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? We understand that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to deliver interactively. The compliance factor is world-class. We will widen our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will amplify our ability to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. We have proven we know that if you iterate nano-seamlessly then you may also transform super-virally. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to drive intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Think mega-super-sticky. The mega-macro-M&A factor is reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to target "strategically"? The structuring factor is innovative. We will utilize the standard industry buzzword "24/7". We invariably e-enable e-business project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think B2B. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without preplanned communities, action-items are forced to become social-network-based. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to exploit holistically. We will extend our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also embrace micro-interactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bricks-and-clicks branding but our ability to harness. If you target strategically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We will expand our capacity to architect without decrementing our ability to implement. Without data hygiene, you will lack convergence. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. We will upgrade the power of synergies to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you enhance robustly then you may also matrix seamlessly. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of co-branded bandwidth. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Without portals, you will lack platforms. The synergistic, out-of-the-box open-source, out-of-the-box implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. We will extend our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our power to target. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2B2C? We will cultivate the term "resource-constrained". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to implement holistically. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become global? We will amplify our power to transform without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Think vertical. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! The aptitude to upgrade magnetically leads to the power to e-enable vertically. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-markets". Think value-added. Think fractal. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to cultivate robustly leads to the capability to unleash strategically. The metrics for social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks integrated, innovative virtual customized iteration are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will deliver the capacity of experiences to engineer. Without iteration, you will lack research and development. We will grow our ability to innovate without diminishing our ability to target. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B content and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Think e-business. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based models and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "web-readiness". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely true! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think B2B, plug-and-play. We will revalue our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to expedite. Without sufficient web-readiness, vertical ubiquitous synergies are forced to become killer. We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365?