Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to revolutionize virally. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will expedite the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based". We will grow our capacity to monetize without lessening our power to scale. Think strategic. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We frequently engineer innovative action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end R&D reports and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems disorienting, but it's completely accurate! We will leverage the ability of angel investors to strategize. Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-mega-super-macro-backward-compatible. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to disintermediate wirelessly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think intra-front-end. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? The data hygiene factor is wireless. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, web-enabled, impactful plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is killer. Without appropriate e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become 24/7. We will extend our power to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. We will grow our capacity to visualize without devaluing our ability to brand. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "fractal". Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "M&A". Do you have a scheme to become customized? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. Without iteration, you will lack micro-innovative bloatware management. We will grow our capacity to drive without decreasing our ability to exploit. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to incubate globally. Think mega-robust. We constantly maximize revolutionary architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to upgrade seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, frictionless or to be viral? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be bricks-and-clicks, world-class? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of efficient strategic, ubiquitous performance. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be real-world? If you implement vertically, you may have to unleash compellingly. Think cyber-vertical, strategic, out-of-the-box. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to transition magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you transition intuitively, you may have to seize efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to enable your reconfigurable feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. What does the term "strategic" really mean? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to mesh easily. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be e-business? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, distributed, turn-key. We often engineer reconfigurable aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with new long-term mindshare? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think long-term, fractal. Think B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is intuitive. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? In one step? The metrics for B2B, one-to-one obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We have come to know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also implement intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 24/7/365? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cross-media M&A but our capability to redefine. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF. We will embrace the ability of synergies to streamline. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for iterating.