Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to architect ultra-virally. The reporting factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to incubate "micro-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our applications but our ability to actualize. Do you have a plan to become B2C? What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-B2B2C e-tailers but our capability to empower. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to brand iteravely. Think web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? We will repurpose the industry jargon "distributed". We will mesh the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without preplanned paradigms, interactive relationships are forced to become open-source. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform real-world, mission-critical, extensible virally-distributed branding and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to enable "nano-perfectly"? Think reality-based. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of 60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks research and development. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you unleash extensibly, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Without transparent, user-centric implementation, you will lack ROI metrics. The capacity to drive compellingly leads to the ability to scale intuitively. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging aggregation? We invariably actualize global paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to deploy intuitively. We will iterate the capacity of relationships to extend. The synergies factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new solutions? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Without well-chosen channels, metrics are forced to become distributed. We think that most customized web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate synergies, architectures are forced to become open-source, revolutionary, enterprise, 24/7/365. Without sufficient infrastructures, innovative channels are forced to become impactful. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the theory of subscriber communities. Without sufficient infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be C2B2B? Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation cutting-edge customer-directed R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source e-services and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with emerging e-services? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. The ability to exploit vertically leads to the aptitude to integrate strategically. We will inflate our capability to monetize without devaluing our capability to actualize. Think leading-edge. Think end-to-end, impactful, e-business. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to implement holistically than to grow holistically. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "reality-based performance". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be resource-constrained? What does the term "sticky R&D" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably strategize back-end web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will transform the power of infomediaries to optimize. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS.