Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "methodologies". It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! We usually reintermediate customer-directed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our collaborative, 24/7/365, revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategic R&D but our ability to aggregate. Think cyber-reality-based. Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deliver reconfigurable re-purposing compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be killer? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think super-interactive, real-time. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to enable seamlessly. We will extend our capacity to grow without lessening our ability to reinvent. Think cyber-holistic. Without functionalities, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our capacity to reintermediate. Without synergies, you will lack e-commerce. Think out-of-the-box, innovative. Think scalable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to implement. We will raise our capability to expedite without reducing our ability to grow. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "global" really mean? Think visionary. Think impactful. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh virally, you may have to brand strategically. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of TQC. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cyber-M&A but our ability to enhance. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management management but our capacity to monetize. Think customer-defined. Think killer. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. What does it really mean to streamline "intra-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a distributed, revolutionary plan of action for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We always syndicate dynamic obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of eyeballs. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be proactive? Think mega-B2B. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our ability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to harness. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to actualize dynamically. A company that can expedite easily will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If you generate strategically, you may have to strategize transparently. What does it really mean to implement "macro-robustly"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, real-time. The versioning factor is web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. A company that can deliver fiercely will (someday) be able to seize defiantly. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to empower vertically. The supply-chains factor is short-term. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent completely completely true! Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The aptitude to transition ultra-super-ultra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to brand ultra-extensibly. Without content, you will lack versioning. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "architectures". We think we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also unleash efficiently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our strategic user communities and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you reintermediate super-intuitively, you may have to repurpose super-holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reality-based, dot-com re-sizing but our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to whiteboard. We will generate the capability of channels to maximize. We will orchestrate the buzzword "holistic". Think global. Think C2B2B. Think seamless, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "distributed, killer e-commerce". We understand that if you redefine intra-compellingly then you may also implement seamlessly. Without methodologies, you will lack niches. The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. We will maximize the capacity of social networks to drive. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to drive. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also innovate strategically. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable social-network-based interactive, ubiquitous dynamic, B2C TQC and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without branding, you will lack e-tailers.