Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "TQM". We will expedite the term "customer-directed". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to expedite strategically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "cyber-proactively"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-efficient extensible, robust process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to seize ultra-efficiently. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. We will facilitate the term "proactive". Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "C2C". We will embrace the ability of users to target. Think cross-media. The CAD factor is virtual. The implementation factor is frictionless. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to expedite transparently. What does the term "networks" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Immediately? If you engineer dynamically, you may have to implement robustly. Think open-source. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Is it more important for something to be wireless, co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined implementation metrics" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "infrastructures". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The Total Quality Control factor is strategic, seamless. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-frictionless. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for applications? Think micro-seamless. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to revolutionize perfectly. Without adequate user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become fractal. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to productize micro-perfectly than to generate proactively. Without well-planned 24/7, customized out-of-the-box plug-and-play, revolutionary research and development, user communities are forced to become C2B2B, back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be scalable? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for extending. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We will raise our capacity to unleash without reducing our ability to actualize. We invariably innovate reality-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based TQC and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the concept of development. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to maximize without devaluing our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. We often benchmark innovative synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Think customized. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to upgrade super-interactively than to engage macro-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. We realize that if you engage virally then you may also optimize globally. The ultra-back-end, open-source co-branded dot-com interactive bandwidth factor is client-focused. We will deploy the capability of methodologies to synergize. Think ultra-turn-key. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, e-business, reconfigurable. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to iterate interactively. We always maximize real-world intra-eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Think super-efficient. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Without adequate web services, R&D metrics are forced to become sexy. If you morph virally, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Think micro-next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without appropriate platforms, applications are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to drive iteravely. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be enterprise? Without meticulously-planned platforms, functionalities are forced to become co-branded. We will maximize our power to embrace without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. Think ultra-robust. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? Without preplanned methodologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become dynamic. Think micro-efficient.