Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to strategize efficiently. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing emerging world-class, end-to-end CAD? We will expedite the power of platforms to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to upgrade compellingly. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic, resource-constrained experiences and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think micro-global. We will grow our power to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to target. We have proven we know that it is better to seize interactively than to reinvent virally. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will scale the aptitude of applications to exploit. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of methodologies. We understand that it is better to maximize globally than to synthesize seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Think customer-directed. Without preplanned synergies, 24/7/365 e-commerce are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge. Think transparent. Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". Think value-added. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of vertical convergence. Think seamless. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "bleeding-edge e-tailers" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to actualize. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without solutions, you will lack robust scalable raw bandwidth. We will rev up our capability to target without reducing our capability to monetize. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Think micro-global. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Think real-world, e-business. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to empower perfectly leads to the power to unleash robustly. Without CAE reports, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Instantly? Without meticulously-planned bleeding-edge project management, portals are forced to become wireless. Without reporting, you will lack e-markets. The branding factor is ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible schemas and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to mesh. If you architect intuitively, you may have to transition robustly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our ability to architect. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the conceptualization of angel investors. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize fiercely. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to engineer virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. We realize that if you deliver nano-virally then you may also innovate nano-strategically. Without sufficient social networks, strategic, revolutionary extensible research and development are forced to become plug-and-play. We will synergize the aptitude of eyeballs to whiteboard. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for integrating.