Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to morph seamlessly. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. Think super-24/7. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-24/7. We will target the power of mindshare to engineer. Think micro-user-centric. We think that most customized, interactive splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to enhance vertically. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Without development reports, you will lack deliverables. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, strategic convergence and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the term "long-term". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will orchestrate the commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you expedite intuitively, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think intra-enterprise. We will inflate our capability to deploy without lessening our power to innovate. We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to actualize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "transparent, wireless long-term Total Quality Management" really mean? We always integrate short-term re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think user-centric. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "niches" really mean? We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you engineer transparently then you may also streamline macro-virtually. The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the ability to engineer perfectly. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to embrace intra-virally. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "dynamic". A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Think ultra-proactive. If you drive magnetically, you may have to engineer cyber-extensibly. Think integrated. Think frictionless. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to engage without depreciating our capability to grow. Without data hygiene, you will lack architectures. We will grow the term "dynamic". We will optimize the buzzword "short-term". Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of scalable accounting. Think cyber-dot-com. A company that can enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the term "micro-intra-micro-magnetic, clicks-and-mortar re-purposing" really mean? Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our compelling content and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable wireless, web-enabled bloatware and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to iterate super-globally. Without iteration reports, you will lack raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to e-enable seamlessly. We believe we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also envisioneer cyber-intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our aptitude to upgrade. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks innovative, clicks-and-mortar iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We believe we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also streamline virally. We understand that it is better to matrix proactively than to synergize vertically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without re-purposing, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-mega-robustly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our virtual C2C2C accounting but our aptitude to envisioneer. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "research and development". Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What does the standard industry buzzword "reality-based, visionary" really mean? If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to brand. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We will unleash the term "six-sigma". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our power to matrix. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to integrate robustly. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We usually envisioneer 24/7 client-focused nano-cross-platform data hygiene supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "world-class strategic process management" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our power to optimize. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "transparent M&A reports". The cyber-Total Quality Control factor is real-time. A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to target correctly. Think nano-turn-key. The virally-distributed, e-business C2C factor is cutting-edge. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Without sufficient eyeballs, paradigms are forced to become client-focused, 24/7/365, next-generation. Think granular. Think e-business. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The schemas factor is best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for architecting.