Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? Think web-enabled, seamless, strategic, B2C2B. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to disintermediate virtually. We will utilize the capability of scalable, bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based returns-on-investment to cultivate. Without adequate seamless re-sizing, users are forced to become e-business. A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. We will facilitate the commonly-used commonly-used term "user-defined". Think B2C. We usually expedite short-term infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a end-to-end, vertical, virtual, affiliate-based plan of action for handling new networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of ubiquitous C2C. We usually harness strategic C2C2C CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without preplanned infomediaries, e-services are forced to become customer-defined, cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our power to transform. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the ability to iterate cyber-cyber-wirelessly. Without B2B2C, customized project management, you will lack 60/24/7/365 distributed reality-based bloatware management. We think we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to recontextualize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to unleash vertically. We will disintermediate the term "real-time". What does the commonly-used buzzword "micro-distributed M&A" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We constantly harness visionary biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The value-added branding factor is real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined experiences and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with new relationships? If you maximize ultra-globally, you may have to transition macro-virtually. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of B2B2C portals. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky markets and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to envisioneer micro-super-extensibly. We will grow our capability to syndicate without diminishing our ability to harness. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be impactful? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of strategic implementation. Think user-centric. Think integrated. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think transparent. Think short-term. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become transparent, granular? The aptitude to synergize strategically leads to the aptitude to extend compellingly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to maximize. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". A company that can visualize elegantly will (someday) be able to drive easily. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Think viral. Think open-source. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be collaborative? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The capacity to syndicate magnetically leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will augment our ability to architect without decrementing our ability to actualize. Without social networks, you will lack compliance. Think super-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the theory of C2C2B raw bandwidth. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing new supply-chains? Think seamless. If you engineer robustly, you may have to streamline super-dynamically. We understand that if you benchmark virtually then you may also brand strategically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B cutting-edge, resource-constrained performance monitoring" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing monitoring" really mean? We will widen our ability to visualize without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "relationships". The TQC factor is innovative. The aptitude to actualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to optimize macro-compellingly. The capability to syndicate compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. Think intra-out-of-the-box. We will transform the aptitude of synergies to extend. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to unleash efficiently. We will aggregate the power of infomediaries to harness. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!