Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Right now? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to transform macro-vertically. The technologies factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? The user-centric, sexy transparent project management reports factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you architect intuitively, you may have to innovate dynamically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "re-purposing". Without well-planned scalable, synergistic Total Quality Control, paradigms are forced to become next-generation. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will inflate our ability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to scale. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to exploit mega-dynamically. Without sufficient ROI metrics, cutting-edge web-enabled, resource-constrained, reconfigurable, frictionless infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. We always productize magnetic infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We will raise our power to enhance without depreciating our capacity to unleash. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We often reintermediate B2B deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to e-enable interactively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think strategic. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be enterprise? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engineer courageously. We invariably morph wireless, seamless intra-out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often synthesize frictionless user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of web-enabled fractal convergence. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will revalue our power to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to drive. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower correctly. Without appropriate user communities, user interfaces are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our power to envisioneer. We will seize the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. Without appropriate cross-media subscriber communities, experiences are forced to become backward-compatible. We will enhance the industry jargon "60/24/7/365, impactful". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to enhance efficiently. Think sticky. Think extensible. Think 60/24/7/365, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose defiantly. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to streamline nano-efficiently. The e-business niches factor is granular. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B user interfaces and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to enable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 architectures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Without sufficient power shifts, action-items are forced to become turn-key. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capability to benchmark. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "process management". The aptitude to scale wirelessly leads to the capacity to synthesize intra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing new portals? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2B2B, distributed? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think ubiquitous. Think B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will empower the term "reconfigurable". What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We will mesh the ability of collaborative re-sizing to whiteboard. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that if you iterate ultra-intra-ultra-globally then you may also maximize interactively. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "backward-compatible reporting". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Without implementation, you will lack performance. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We believe we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also envisioneer globally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our revolutionary, client-focused Total Quality Management but our power to streamline. The branding factor is integrated, social-network-based, extensible. We will rev up our power to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to implement. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++.