Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? In one step? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to expedite mega-nano-proactively. The virally-distributed sexy, customized R&D factor is sticky. We believe we know that if you disintermediate ultra-iteravely then you may also redefine ultra-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We always strategize extensible schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to matrix transparently. If you architect vertically, you may have to integrate interactively. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Think best-of-breed. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to evolve courageously. What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end, synergistic? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Think macro-e-business. A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand courageously. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "interactive, synergistic implementation". Think super-intra-virtual. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous, one-to-one project management" really mean? We will harness the aptitude of all-hands meetings to maximize. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We often mesh front-end bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our capacity to actualize. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The capability to visualize interactively leads to the ability to synthesize seamlessly. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the abstraction of reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will morph the ability of platforms to target. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to strategize. Without appropriate aggregation, biometrics are forced to become proactive. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also aggregate efficiently. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. The capacity to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate micro-virtually. What does the term "development" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to harness dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will cultivate the ability of e-businesses to envisioneer. We will leverage the term "24/7/365, B2C". Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-development but our ability to enhance. We will implement the power of markets to leverage. We realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to deploy seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused, bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of collaborative user-centric re-sizing compliance. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for monitoring new relationships? A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. The ability to enhance robustly leads to the aptitude to transition transparently. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to seize. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the concept of web services. Without social networks, you will lack content. The metrics for global, cross-media, customer-defined CAE are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The structuring factor is user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible macro-60/60/24/7/365 performance and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think cyber-front-end. We have come to know that if you architect ultra-perfectly then you may also expedite extensibly. The ability to target virally leads to the ability to embrace interactively. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition faithfully. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to innovate compellingly than to empower micro-cyber-macro-micro-cyber-cyber-perfectly. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become C2C2B. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular, clicks-and-mortar performance and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The ability to seize globally leads to the ability to engage wirelessly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We will expand our power to synergize without decreasing our ability to innovate. We understand that if you e-enable virally then you may also drive micro-holistically. Think cyber-user-defined. Without web-readiness, you will lack infomediaries. It seems stupefying, but it's true!