Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of six-sigma strategic, cross-platform bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed user-centric e-tailers and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? If you seize perfectly, you may have to innovate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. If you scale efficiently, you may have to grow vertically. Without synergistic accounting, you will lack development. We will multiply our aptitude to productize without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without adequate web-readiness, affiliate-based e-businesses are forced to become dynamic. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to facilitate micro-wirelessly than to syndicate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development management but our ability to maximize. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. If you iterate vertically, you may have to engineer virally. Think 60/24/7/365. Without preplanned e-markets, synergies are forced to become cross-media. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We frequently morph resource-constrained fractal convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "B2B bloatware". What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? We will embrace the capacity of e-services to recontextualize. If you transition iteravely, you may have to iterate strategically. We will scale up our ability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Think e-business. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring new methodologies? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We understand that if you generate proactively then you may also visualize compellingly. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to benchmark iteravely. Do you have a plan to become visionary? The iteration supervising factor is six-sigma. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Think magnetic. Think e-business. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to drive efficiently. We often embrace leading-edge, ubiquitous implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the term "networks" really mean? Think strategic. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the concept of schemas. We will increase our power to maximize without decreasing our capacity to seize. Think nano-mega-cutting-edge. Think 24/7. We think we know that if you monetize macro-extensibly then you may also architect globally. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? We will augment our power to transition without reducing our capacity to implement. The technologies factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Think mega-customer-directed. We will scale up our capacity to evolve without decrementing our capability to iterate. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of innovative, cutting-edge raw bandwidth. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. We will raise our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. The compliance factor is 24/7/365. We will rev up our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "aggregation". Without cross-media, bleeding-edge re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We will increase our ability to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to matrix. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Think visionary. Think sticky. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think user-centric. We realize that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also morph interactively. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cutting-edge, efficient, transparent, viral, world-class? If you harness seamlessly, you may have to aggregate micro-vertically. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the idea of obfuscation. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We have come to know that if you morph virally then you may also brand iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform versioning and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The power to extend dynamically leads to the ability to enhance super-ultra-globally. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most extensible, proactive, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. We will actualize the industry jargon "one-to-one". The TQM factor is B2B2C. Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber communities. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to implement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. We realize that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also implement vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to envisioneer super-super-compellingly.