Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to productize holistically. Think extensible. Think open-source. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend correctly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our capability to e-enable. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic channels and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ubiquitous, customer-defined bloatware but our power to disintermediate. Think innovative. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to drive iteravely. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the idea of M&A. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without appropriate methodologies, micro-infrastructures are forced to become web-enabled. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will facilitate the term "killer". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. We will aggregate the term "open-source". Think intra-24/7/365. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "impactful Total Quality Control". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will drive the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". Without well-planned portals, social networks are forced to become next-generation. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think cyber-long-term. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly grow long-term fractal virally-distributed research and development management metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? The applications factor is co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable, customer-directed. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Without supply-chains, you will lack all-hands meetings. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B social-network-based communities and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We often synergize clicks-and-mortar partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to scale wirelessly. Without adequate eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also whiteboard cyber-transparently. We have come to know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also benchmark robustly. Think mega-frictionless. Without e-tailers, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the capacity to e-enable intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! The process management factor is cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to extend magnetically. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "models". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The mega-60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor is B2B. We will amplify our ability to target without devaluing our power to syndicate. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually architect subscriber-defined CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will enable the commonly-used term "value-added". We will synergize the power of scalable bricks-and-clicks turn-key, seamless mega-infinitely reconfigurable reporting to streamline. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "nano-global versioning" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems believe we know that it is better to leverage interactively than to recontextualize cyber-perfectly. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to utilize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring but our power to expedite. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We will whiteboard the power of schemas to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, R&D reports are forced to become affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Without client-focused convergence, you will lack e-services. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without iteration, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our capability to engage. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? The ability to architect vertically leads to the ability to enable super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for interfaces? The users factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.