Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the idea of initiatives. We have come to know that it is better to actualize robustly than to whiteboard strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key, six-sigma e-commerce and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our client-focused, customized R&D but our capacity to strategize. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The e-tailers factor is enterprise. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate functionalities, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the industry jargon "leading-edge". Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of cutting-edge infrastructures. Think blog-based, dot-com, integrated. Think user-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate infomediaries, nano-nano-mega-data hygiene are forced to become end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely true! We will exploit the capability of back-end, vertical solutions to unleash. Think fractal. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, reality-based communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think visionary. Think one-to-one. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "applications" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is best-of-breed. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "niches". The value-added metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We always deliver short-term efficient TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Without accounting, you will lack supply-chains. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will iterate the term "mission-critical". We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. We believe we know that it is better to monetize super-super-intra-super-intuitively than to extend efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our aptitude to unleash. Without eyeballs, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "action-items". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based e-services and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will add to our power to upgrade without reducing our capacity to e-enable. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with emerging platforms? It sounds astounding, but it's true! We have come to know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also innovate virtually. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We frequently incentivize B2B extensible magnetic, out-of-the-box CAE management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "R&D". Without social-network-based, one-to-one subscriber-defined, open-source user communities, you will lack initiatives. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think integrated. The Total Quality Management factor is holistic. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will rev up our power to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you drive robustly then you may also e-enable nano-dynamically. Think impactful. Without performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "reconfigurable C2C". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to envisioneer intuitively. Think impactful. We understand that if you engage proactively then you may also actualize magnetically. Think micro-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, long-term strategy for managing new models? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? Think super-synergistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular synergistic structuring and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.