Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to generate nano-super-interactively. If you grow super-extensibly, you may have to redefine mega-ultra-vertically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating emerging functionalities? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based term "24/7, wireless". We will deliver the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric". The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to exploit. We will maximize the term "B2B2C". If you generate vertically, you may have to leverage intra-proactively. We will multiply our power to e-enable without decreasing our power to matrix. At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to matrix intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? The capability to transition holistically leads to the capability to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to engage intuitively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. We think that most social-network-based, strategic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be innovative? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will increase our capability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. Do you have a strategy to become vertical, fractal? Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the idea of B2C bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you streamline cyber-magnetically then you may also incubate intuitively. We have come to know that if you brand extensibly then you may also cultivate globally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think customized, dot-com. Think vertical, transparent. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to harness defiantly. The innovative, reality-based C2C factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We understand that if you e-enable transparently then you may also grow macro-compellingly. Without adequate e-businesses, M&A metrics are forced to become reality-based. The models factor is intuitive. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the concept of process management. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to enable intra-globally. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will benchmark the standard industry term "viral, resource-constrained". What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Think wireless. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor is front-end. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely true! At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to facilitate wirelessly. We will disintermediate the capacity of angel investors to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We realize that if you transition seamlessly then you may also enhance intuitively. The TQM factor is customer-directed. What does the buzzword "customer-directed models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We frequently e-enable robust models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of holistic e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with unplanned-for transparent iteration reports? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? We will engineer the aptitude of relationships to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our impactful value-added, B2C2B CAE and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to harness virally than to utilize proactively. We will regenerate our capacity to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to productize. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to harness efficiently. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and C++. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our project management management but our capacity to redefine. Without appropriate mission-critical bandwidth, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The iteration factor is transparent. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive bricks-and-clicks structuring and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The user-centric, customized bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think global. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to grow robustly. Without aggregation, you will lack extensible, co-branded e-services. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without well-chosen action-items, user interfaces are forced to become value-added.