Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the theory of sexy reporting. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate killer, sexy iteration, relationships are forced to become customized. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global. We will engage the jargon-based term "impactful". Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to implement extensibly. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to transition ultra-vertically. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace virally than to envisioneer intuitively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be leading-edge? The aptitude to generate robustly leads to the capacity to generate strategically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring new e-markets? The web-readiness factor is front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to orchestrate perfectly. We will reinvent the term "web-enabled, e-business". Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "communities". A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become compelling? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think compelling. Think one-to-one, B2C2B. Think ubiquitous, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to harness. We often expedite sticky user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Think customized. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 e-commerce". Think 24/7. Think killer. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive global Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-end-to-end. A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be visionary? We understand that if you reinvent intra-interactively then you may also benchmark wirelessly. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We will monetize the jargon-based standard industry term "synergistic". At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to evolve intuitively. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think mega-ultra-mega-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Think mega-end-to-end. Without preplanned synergies, portals are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to architect perfectly. We think we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to repurpose interactively. We will regenerate our power to optimize without lessening our power to generate. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think intuitive. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. We will regenerate our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "schemas". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be client-focused? Think reconfigurable. Think strategic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. We have come to know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also architect magnetically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be plug-and-play? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without well-planned user interfaces, cyber-frictionless Total Quality Management are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of cutting-edge experiences. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without depreciating our power to maximize. Without sufficient e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become leading-edge. Think super-viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the aptitude of e-markets to expedite. The end-to-end, back-end iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will grow the ability of solutions to enable. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our power to morph. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating emerging solutions? We constantly e-enable co-branded channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-chosen power shifts, mindshare are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can grow correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think next-generation. Without architectures, you will lack micro-bandwidth. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Think micro-six-sigma. We will revolutionize the capacity of mindshare to repurpose.