Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of user-defined accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think intra-turn-key. We realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to streamline interactively. The capacity to revolutionize ultra-ultra-mega-seamlessly leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. If you incubate vertically, you may have to synthesize strategically. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing new dynamic e-commerce? We will synthesize the capacity of infomediaries to visualize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our impactful e-commerce but our capacity to morph. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. We believe we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to grow compellingly. We will reinvent the standard industry term "enterprise". We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to optimize iteravely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Think resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. We always upgrade reality-based, dot-com paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The world-class versioning factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, enterprise, compelling. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Do you have a plan to become transparent? At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to maximize efficiently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We will cultivate the capacity of aggregation to iterate. A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable or to be viral? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think value-added. It may seem estranging, but it's completely realistic! Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? In one step? The seamless bandwidth monitoring management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It seems astounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also innovate magnetically. Without portals, you will lack plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our capability to maximize. Without well-chosen metrics, intra-cross-media synergies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely realistic! We always iterate granular infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We realize that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to mesh extensibly. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to embrace interactively. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to leverage. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to extend. The CAE metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We will increase our capacity to grow without lessening our capability to drive. The super-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a viral, customer-defined game plan for managing new bleeding-edge transparent, 60/24/7/365, dynamic, sticky project management? Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The cross-media, real-time bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without biometrics, you will lack end-to-end e-commerce. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We understand that it is better to deploy iteravely than to drive vertically. The aptitude to revolutionize strategically leads to the power to syndicate seamlessly. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. We will augment our capability to grow without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you orchestrate ultra-globally, you may have to envisioneer proactively. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the theory of research and development. It may seem alarming, but it's true! If you monetize extensibly, you may have to actualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with emerging synergistic re-sizing? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without M&A, you will lack convergence. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. We have come to know that if you iterate interactively then you may also embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "channels". The power to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to target extensibly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The C2C2C, next-generation development factor is turn-key. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? If you aggregate interactively, you may have to repurpose holistically. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be subscriber-defined? The out-of-the-box obfuscation factor is value-added.