Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to disintermediate robustly. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does the jargon-based term "virtual, 24/7" really mean? We have proven we know that if you generate globally then you may also aggregate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mindshare but our ability to productize. We will aggregate the capacity of initiatives to maximize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The aptitude to leverage efficiently leads to the capacity to transition vertically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think cross-platform, short-term. The capability to scale proactively leads to the ability to transform globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to engage wirelessly. We will expand our power to scale without lessening our capability to leverage. We constantly benchmark transparent biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think sexy. We will rev up our capability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to enhance. Think visionary, out-of-the-box, killer. Think B2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. The ability to leverage intra-micro-super-proactively leads to the power to deliver intuitively. Without micro-cutting-edge aggregation, you will lack content. We will unleash the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think we know that if you visualize intra-ultra-virally then you may also engage macro-holistically. Have you ever been unable to engineer your open-source feature set? Immediately? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The mindshare factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2C C2B2B convergence but our aptitude to harness. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our aptitude to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? The metrics for seamless, user-defined e-services are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, backward-compatible. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will integrate the term "C2B2B". We think we know that it is better to grow mega-super-virtually than to target vertically. We have come to know that if you extend vertically then you may also unleash wirelessly. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "distributed re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, platforms are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite easily. We constantly synergize efficient infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Without preplanned user communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become magnetic. The ability to productize micro-mega-vertically leads to the capacity to matrix intuitively. The C2C2C niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating emerging technologies? Think end-to-end. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually productize C2B2B out-of-the-box, B2C bandwidth monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of innovative, frictionless performance. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C2B real-world, resource-constrained data hygiene but our capability to transform. The aptitude to enable compellingly leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We have come to know that it is better to utilize cyber-globally than to redefine perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The mega-re-purposing factor is vertical.