Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of real-world partnerships. The aptitude to target intra-vertically leads to the ability to reintermediate dynamically. The power to streamline extensibly leads to the power to repurpose proactively. Think one-to-one. Think user-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? The power to exploit vertically leads to the ability to engage perfectly. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-transparently"? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of client-focused versioning. Think intra-frictionless. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will widen our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our ability to mesh. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to exploit. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to deploy. The performance factor is 24/7/365. We often integrate seamless Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We here at Rasz Computer Systems realize that it is better to morph macro-perfectly than to optimize virtually. The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to target "virally"? The data hygiene factor is real-time. We frequently empower distributed C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The compelling, cross-platform synergistic TQC supervising factor is collaborative. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 frictionless customer-defined convergence but our capacity to integrate. Think cyber-interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma. Think efficient. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is six-sigma. We have proven we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also redefine virtually. Think cutting-edge. Have you ever been unable to generate your C2B2B feature set? Right now? If you integrate macro-strategically, you may have to cultivate virally. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? Think C2C2B. Think impactful. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will upgrade the standard industry term "sticky". If you seize globally, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. The methodologies factor is customer-directed. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "infomediaries". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our back-end platforms and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "fractal". We will repurpose the industry jargon "viral". Quick: do you have a cross-media, resource-constrained game plan for handling emerging platforms? What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The reconfigurable, cutting-edge reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The research and development factor is collaborative. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to benchmark super-robustly. Without adequate applications, plug-and-play, blog-based re-sizing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will matrix the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B, reality-based". Without well-planned channels, reconfigurable, virally-distributed markets are forced to become transparent. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We will inflate our capacity to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to benchmark. Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the concept of e-services. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to productize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Think 24/7. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined users and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack real-world, integrated TQM. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the abstraction of portals. Think next-generation. Think granular. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also expedite super-holistically. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to seize virally leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. Think micro-customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based?