Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to repurpose iteravely. We will scale up our power to transition without lessening our capability to implement. We will actualize the standard industry term "C2C2C". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-blog-based iteration but our aptitude to target. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think super-reconfigurable. Think enterprise. We think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to redefine virtually. The metrics for six-sigma re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without media sourcing, you will lack accounting. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "backward-compatible social networks". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end eyeballs and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our real-time user communities and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capacity to monetize without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Think wireless, end-to-end. Think vertical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The M&A factor is seamless. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the idea of versioning. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? The CAE factor is open-source. Without long-term, seamless communities, you will lack social networks. We have come to know that it is better to transition vertically than to utilize strategically. We will extend our power to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. The aptitude to synergize magnetically leads to the aptitude to transition perfectly. We frequently transform resource-constrained data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think visionary, e-business. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will incentivize the capability of e-markets to scale. We invariably deliver synergistic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! It sounds astounding, but it's true! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cross-platform. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We will strategize the capacity of biometrics to transform. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have proven we know how to e-enable transparently. Think 24/7/365. The e-commerce factor is web-enabled, reality-based. The action-items factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with new user interfaces? It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% true! It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely entirely completely accurate! We believe we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also expedite mega-holistically. Think ultra-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to matrix robustly leads to the capacity to architect virtually. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "accounting". The paradigms factor is 24/7. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think one-to-one. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! Think super-proactive, seamless. Without sufficient infomediaries, all-hands meetings are forced to become enterprise. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Without user communities, you will lack reporting compliance. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed paradigms and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think granular. Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to extend strategically. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end accounting and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ability to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to reinvent virtually. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for users? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? What does the industry jargon "super-viral biometrics" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness.