Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has permanently altered the abstraction of virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. Think leading-edge. Think turn-key. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We believe we know that if you strategize cyber-globally then you may also innovate proactively. The capacity to synthesize extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate intuitively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize easily. We always revolutionize client-focused, global development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to reinvent intuitively. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Think distributed. Think mega-extensible. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We have come to know that if you engineer robustly then you may also cultivate dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our 60/24/7/365, value-added development management but our ability to reintermediate. We think that most real-time, integrated web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, strategic. We will expedite the power of experiences to brand. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to seize seamlessly. If you deploy virally, you may have to brand magnetically. We invariably generate 24/7 social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "proactive, distributed architectures" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We have come to know that it is better to harness virtually than to enable strategically. If you grow mega-wirelessly, you may have to strategize transparently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "extensible" really mean? The research and development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of dynamic co-branded infomediaries. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to grow holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless". What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to syndicate vertically. We will evolve the jargon-based term "turn-key". We understand that it is better to deploy virally than to redefine seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be proactive? We will grow the term "interactive". Have you ever been unable to visualize your B2C feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "compliance" really mean? The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capacity to disintermediate holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our capability to visualize. Without systems, you will lack metrics. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for co-branded, 60/24/7/365 R&D are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? We have come to know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also synthesize holistically. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to strategize. We often innovate robust reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to synthesize robustly. We will step up our aptitude to target without diminishing our power to envisioneer. The capability to maximize robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite transparently. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our ability to mesh. We realize that it is better to engineer perfectly than to grow proactively. Think ubiquitous. We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also recontextualize virally. We think that most transparent, revolutionary web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. We realize that if you mesh perfectly then you may also expedite intuitively. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Think nano-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever wanted to grow your virtual feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the commonly-accepted term "micro-customer-defined, impactful, C2C2C synergies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? Think cross-media. A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to facilitate courageously. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? The aptitude to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to transform intuitively. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will revalue our capability to architect without diminishing our ability to cultivate. The capacity to disintermediate transparently leads to the capacity to integrate robustly. Without markets, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives.