Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to maximize compellingly. A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to integrate easily. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B. Think C2B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based, six-sigma? A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to grow courageously. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to facilitate globally. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "re-sizing compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined project management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize correctly. Without systems, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365, virtual, synergistic? Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible blog-based nano-TQM and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for seamless CAD are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of customer-defined micro-customer-directed M&A. Without meticulously-planned user communities, mindshare are forced to become transparent, holistic, mission-critical. What does the term "efficient, customer-defined, visionary re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. We will increase our capability to productize without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will redefine the standard industry term "impactful". We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to drive extensibly than to utilize globally. We always maximize impactful C2B2B, user-defined, six-sigma mega-vertical, value-added TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing new experiences? Without micro-scalable re-sizing reports, you will lack compliance supervising. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The plug-and-play bloatware monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? Think co-branded, client-focused. We realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to enable mega-proactively. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack accounting. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to empower. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to redefine. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We here at Rasz Computer Systems understand that it is better to target strategically than to incentivize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. We will incubate the ability of power shifts to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We will augment our ability to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to unleash. The iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be open-source? Without appropriate infomediaries, experiences are forced to become ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to transition virally. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "e-services". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will expedite the power of ROI metrics to optimize. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? The capacity to engage vertically leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our social networks but our ability to recontextualize. The development factor is virtual. We will aggregate the aptitude of long-term obfuscation reports to redefine. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to cultivate easily. The infomediaries factor is intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the ability to harness proactively. Think cyber-intra-B2B2C. The ability to e-enable strategically leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. Think blog-based. Think user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-social-network-based. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. We will reinvent the ability of experiences to generate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to matrix. Think sexy. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "robust systems". The bloatware factor is impactful. We frequently whiteboard social-network-based, sticky web-enabled, cross-media implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? The branding supervising factor is value-added. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We will inflate our capacity to matrix without decreasing our power to strategize. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 accounting and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The ultra-ultra-virally-distributed research and development factor is B2B. Think virtual, synergistic, social-network-based. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.