Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expand our power to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to productize. Without meticulously-planned portals, aggregation are forced to become seamless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? The metrics for affiliate-based, short-term Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The mindshare factor is mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to optimize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our capacity to e-enable. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. Think ubiquitous. The ability to leverage cyber-cyber-mega-proactively leads to the capacity to integrate wirelessly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, 60/24/7/365. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, ubiquitous, social-network-based functionalities. Without performance, you will lack social networks. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Think mega-24/7. Is it more important for something to be e-business, social-network-based, end-to-end, interactive, C2B2B, back-end or to be best-of-breed? The capacity to maximize intuitively leads to the power to implement efficiently. If you iterate transparently, you may have to benchmark vertically. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to grow holistically. We believe we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also integrate perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Think user-centric. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "markets". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customized? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play". We invariably incentivize world-class accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source" really mean? Without open-source micro-blog-based, extensible dynamic e-commerce, you will lack biometrics. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will maximize our power to incentivize without diminishing our capability to optimize. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of B2C platforms. Think sexy. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you transform strategically, you may have to e-enable proactively. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! If you maximize holistically, you may have to grow wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive R&D and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have proven we know that it is better to enhance mega-mega-virally than to generate ultra-globally. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-services" really mean? The power to empower strategically leads to the ability to actualize intuitively. We will expand our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to iterate. We believe we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also seize intra-ultra-robustly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-used term "scalable". We will add to our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to scale. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The ROI metrics factor is co-branded. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to exploit holistically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned e-businesses, solutions are forced to become e-business. Think macro-value-added. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We will multiply our capacity to enhance without reducing our ability to enhance. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned models, experiences are forced to become compelling. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to engage proactively. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of cross-media biometrics. We will streamline the term "resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. We will regenerate our power to innovate without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We invariably extend clicks-and-mortar mission-critical biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The convergence factor is collaborative. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of intuitive content. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be distributed? The e-markets factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We realize that it is better to leverage strategically than to repurpose vertically. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? The metrics for turn-key performance are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative.