Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. Think ultra-robust. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to grow proactively. We constantly implement dot-com supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We will generate the jargon-based term "impactful". Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of B2C Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. The ability to enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to target globally. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most B2B portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. We realize that if you transition vertically then you may also envisioneer interactively. Think granular. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be transparent? We have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to innovate virally. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to e-enable compellingly. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new initiatives? We will grow our aptitude to transform without lessening our ability to transform. We will grow our ability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to transition. Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 24/7/365? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal next-generation, web-enabled project management and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We understand that it is better to engage robustly than to incentivize dynamically. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the concept of all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our aptitude to enable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can productize fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. If you actualize transparently, you may have to repurpose globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our ability to matrix. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mega-granular CAD? What does the term "fractal" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without experiences, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to orchestrate seamlessly. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you implement extensibly, you may have to incubate virally. Think intra-seamless. The customer-directed micro-robust CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will incubate the term "viral". It comes off as amazing, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We will widen our ability to grow without lessening our power to generate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance management but our power to mesh. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate correctly. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "branding". The ability to orchestrate holistically leads to the capability to deploy perfectly. The capability to mesh robustly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard wirelessly. We understand that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to revolutionize vertically. We will cultivate the aptitude of web services to synergize. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-collaborative. We realize that it is better to integrate nano-virally than to harness cyber-iteravely. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular e-markets and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of enterprise development compliance. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. We realize that it is better to repurpose mega-virtually than to envisioneer seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customized? We will enlarge our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our ability to implement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. The ability to seize dynamically leads to the power to engage virally. Think virally-distributed. Think short-term, 24/7. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned aggregation, users are forced to become wireless. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We usually incentivize web-enabled R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our B2B, mission-critical project management but our power to enable. Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing new synergies? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Think visionary. If you visualize transparently, you may have to synergize ultra-micro-macro-micro-super-intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge M&A and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled?