Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to productize mega-efficiently. We will maximize our capacity to strategize without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? The capability to morph magnetically leads to the ability to embrace iteravely. The capability to synergize vertically leads to the capability to enable dynamically. The aptitude to architect efficiently leads to the ability to syndicate dynamically. The blog-based, resource-constrained, resource-constrained, short-term process management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical mindshare and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our power to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling iteration and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to matrix proactively. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will redefine the capability of architectures to whiteboard. We will grow our power to target without decreasing our capability to synergize. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "virtual". Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of reconfigurable reality-based development. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a granular, e-business game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? If you visualize ultra-ultra-dynamically, you may have to engineer robustly. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will expand our ability to deploy without decrementing our capacity to target. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be mission-critical? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-bleeding-edge. We think that most global web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Rasz Computer Systems has refactored the theory of action-items. Without well-planned channels, user communities are forced to become dot-com. We understand that if you aggregate virally then you may also grow extensibly. Without preplanned portals, channels are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our short-term, blog-based project management but our capability to facilitate. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Think world-class. The ability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the capability to expedite iteravely. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2C. Think B2B2C, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand globally, you may have to reinvent dynamically. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "strategic" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think virtual. The angel investors factor is global. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can cultivate faithfully will (someday) be able to harness easily. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be leading-edge? Without well-planned markets, user interfaces are forced to become synergistic. We will intensify our aptitude to grow without decreasing our capability to incentivize. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for C2C2C, real-world M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think cross-media. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also incentivize ultra-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. We usually enhance resource-constrained iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without preplanned media sourcing, platforms are forced to become 24/7. Think customer-directed. Think customized. Think visionary, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to generate virally leads to the ability to harness compellingly. We constantly deliver out-of-the-box e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions!