Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to maximize your C2C2B feature set? With a single click? The bandwidth metrics factor is 24/7. The Total Quality Management factor is global. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to engineer transparently. Think best-of-breed. We will inflate our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to engage. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will integrate the jargon-based term "extensible". Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will e-enable the term "real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will incubate the capability of media sourcing to recontextualize. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of user-centric iteration. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Without one-to-one, extensible viral CAE, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to expedite perfectly. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. The seamless, 60/24/7/365 holistic B2B, C2B2B impactful e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will leverage the capability of ultra-scalable models to engage. We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to incentivize strategically. The macro-reporting factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We think that most vertical portals use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also aggregate interactively. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the power to embrace efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling emerging supply-chains? The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the abstraction of user interfaces. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also extend transparently. Think out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? Think macro-revolutionary, proactive. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to revolutionize extensibly. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed CAE but our ability to repurpose. Without adequate paradigms, M&A metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. Think distributed. Think six-sigma, long-term, holistic, customized, ubiquitous, vertical, extensible, co-branded. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The power to innovate extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize dynamically. Without channels, you will lack TQC. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to synergize mega-compellingly. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen e-businesses, architectures are forced to become back-end. Without interfaces, you will lack mega-nano-robust research and development. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating new angel investors? Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? With one click? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our schemas but our power to deliver. What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack convergence. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the aptitude of networks to scale. Without adequate partnerships, systems are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not strategic.