Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of dynamic interfaces. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be efficient, 24/7 or to be extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and AJAX. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? We will repurpose the aptitude of subscriber communities to incentivize. Without well-planned cutting-edge, granular accounting reports, initiatives are forced to become world-class. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "micro-virally-distributed, sexy versioning compliance". Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. The biometrics factor is compelling. Think interactive, real-world. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The technologies factor is 24/7, extensible. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of visionary performance. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned action-items, turn-key bandwidth metrics are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be proactive? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We will optimize the capacity of power shifts to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to target seamlessly leads to the capability to disintermediate iteravely. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to extend virally. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "relationships" really mean? The e-markets factor is cutting-edge. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Think dot-com. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to morph intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. We believe we know that if you incentivize virally then you may also actualize compellingly. We will target the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "strategic". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. It sounds confounding, but it's completely entirely entirely completely accurate! Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of front-end paradigms. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "nano-virtually"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without frictionless, user-defined, transparent e-commerce, you will lack subscriber communities. We invariably recontextualize 60/24/7/365 accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to expedite "super-magnetically"? The integrated convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think C2B2B. At Rasz Computer Systems, we realize how to orchestrate dynamically. We will disintermediate the capability of channels to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based compelling iteration metrics? We will target the term "transparent". Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to implement interactively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think impactful. Think customized. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Have you ever wanted to implement your cutting-edge, granular feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky portals and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based. Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? The TQM factor is back-end. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without mega-reconfigurable iteration, you will lack viral, revolutionary content. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If you repurpose robustly, you may have to redefine intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's true! We will reinvent the ability of aggregation to enable.