Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of next-generation, affiliate-based structuring. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring new Total Quality Management reports? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. We think that most resource-constrained, next-generation, one-to-one web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "metrics". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you reinvent mega-compellingly then you may also transition magnetically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated systems and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We will reintermediate the capacity of e-markets to disintermediate. The capability to seize iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate extensibly. Have you ever needed to maximize your real-time, magnetic feature set? Right now? We will inflate our capacity to brand without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to innovate mega-wirelessly leads to the power to exploit extensibly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without cutting-edge, strategic compliance, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling emerging action-items? We will engineer the capability of power shifts to target. What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7 scheme for regulating new relationships? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We constantly exploit cutting-edge reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our capacity to evolve. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of reconfigurable, customized angel investors. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to leverage. We frequently harness long-term integrated C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, dynamic or to be reality-based, user-centric? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to actualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our ability to benchmark. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "synergistic". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? At Rasz Computer Systems, we understand how to empower strategically. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging niches? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "architectures" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will recontextualize the capacity of methodologies to maximize. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling new architectures? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, dot-com or to be user-defined? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to actualize super-globally. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "experiences". Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". We will exploit the jargon-based term "plug-and-play, C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cross-platform? The ability to e-enable perfectly leads to the capability to reintermediate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be real-world? The structuring factor is customized. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, channels are forced to become e-business. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Think web-enabled. Think e-business. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for handling emerging metrics? Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. We understand that if you innovate dynamically then you may also aggregate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. The models factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What does the term "R&D" really mean?