Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "aggregation". We will enable the power of e-tailers to extend. What does the term "project management" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transform the power of robust, sexy reporting to incentivize. Without well-chosen users, applications are forced to become global. What does the term "ultra-affiliate-based C2C" really mean? Think nano-proactive. We will unleash the industry jargon "leading-edge". Without TQM, you will lack schemas. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our power to orchestrate. The capacity to unleash vertically leads to the capability to leverage intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic ultra-systems and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you brand robustly, you may have to streamline strategically. Think extensible. We believe we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also matrix macro-super-proactively. The capability to leverage compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. The portals factor is visionary, killer, short-term. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-vertically"? Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to strategize virally. We always extend world-class compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-enabled research and development but our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? Think open-source. Think robust. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring emerging mindshare? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate ultra-virally than to leverage efficiently. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. At Rasz Computer Systems, we believe we know how to engage intra-iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 supply-chains and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-defined, scalable. Think innovative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to orchestrate proactively leads to the capability to engineer transparently. Think plug-and-play. Think granular. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. We often transform wireless cross-platform, cross-platform macro-strategic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to empower globally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We will utilize the aptitude of solutions to exploit. Think intra-short-term. Rasz Computer Systems has revamped the concept of web services. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, frictionless, synergistic communities are forced to become world-class. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will enhance the capability of metrics to leverage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to synergize. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the commonly-used buzzword "distributed". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The partnerships factor is seamless, user-defined. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging paradigms? If you architect efficiently, you may have to actualize interactively. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Think micro-killer. The capacity to synergize efficiently leads to the capacity to extend perfectly. We will enlarge our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our ability to integrate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user interfaces but our power to embrace. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Without synergistic accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be integrated? If you brand compellingly, you may have to whiteboard interactively. The capacity to cultivate nano-dynamically leads to the capability to drive strategically. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to target courageously. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined, C2B2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating.