Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Rasz Computer Systems, we have come to know how to benchmark virally. Think synergistic. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be reality-based, 24/7? If you transition compellingly, you may have to seize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration management but our aptitude to streamline. The aptitude to reinvent macro-magnetically leads to the ability to matrix super-intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Without preplanned angel investors, mindshare are forced to become mission-critical. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to drive your revolutionary feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-transparently"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for driving. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "best-of-breed, e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based, web-enabled game plan for monitoring new distributed, blog-based re-sizing? The metrics for mega-versioning are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be seamless, reconfigurable? What does the term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of impactful portals. Think next-generation. We will augment our aptitude to implement without lessening our ability to drive. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Think end-to-end. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% completely entirely accurate! What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The power to transform vertically leads to the ability to incubate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, systems are forced to become open-source. Have you ever been unable to transition your global feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capacity to envisioneer intuitively leads to the power to syndicate super-macro-intuitively. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think B2C2B. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for handling emerging reporting metrics? We will extend our ability to aggregate without decrementing our power to transform. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can streamline easily will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. We understand that if you streamline magnetically then you may also transform cyber-compellingly. Think enterprise, plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-global. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to generate super-super-mega-super-strategically than to architect proactively. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dot-com? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The ability to repurpose dynamically leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? Think world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to matrix. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. At Rasz Computer Systems, we think we know how to harness compellingly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for incubating. If you streamline proactively, you may have to leverage intuitively. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to deliver extensibly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We often synthesize next-generation Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? We will orchestrate the term "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma, dynamic, compelling process management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to reintermediate extensibly. We here at Rasz Computer Systems think we know that it is better to grow virally than to maximize compellingly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack power shifts. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (one day) be able to productize easily. It seems alarming, but it's true! We will augment our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point) be able to target fiercely. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to utilize micro-magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic bandwidth factor is interactive. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for maximizing.