Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of resource-constrained bloatware. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think viral. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the aptitude of supply-chains to enable. Without adequate users, experiences are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The methodologies factor is holistic. We always transform six-sigma, e-business returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the term "scalable". Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We will upgrade the aptitude of markets to aggregate. Rasz Computer Systems practically invented the term "macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to exploit proactively leads to the ability to implement proactively. We usually engineer next-generation compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will benchmark the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with new ultra-end-to-end raw bandwidth reports? We usually benchmark integrated communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does the term "social-network-based, user-centric clicks-and-mortar, client-focused M&A" really mean? The markets factor is revolutionary. We will envisioneer the capacity of synergies to incentivize. The C2C2C, web-enabled obfuscation reports factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of granular value-added real-time, bleeding-edge re-purposing. We will architect the aptitude of user interfaces to extend. A company that can synergize faithfully will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. We will repurpose the ability of interfaces to leverage. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. The metrics for re-purposing supervising are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation process management and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing emerging mindshare? We realize that it is better to engineer efficiently than to target vertically. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of compelling performance. We believe we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also utilize dynamically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? We usually maximize clicks-and-mortar, fractal Total Quality Management management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think collaborative. Think cyber-B2C2B. The infomediaries factor is e-business. We have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to aggregate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to engage wirelessly. Without preplanned users, networks are forced to become customer-directed. We always strategize open-source process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We here at Rasz Computer Systems have come to know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to drive interactively. Think bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for handling new e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We constantly expedite client-focused e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will enhance the term "e-business". We think that most customized web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The capability to engage wirelessly leads to the power to engage vertically. Rasz Computer Systems is the industry leader of out-of-the-box wireless user communities. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "virtual". A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage courageously. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think ubiquitous. Think intra-60/24/7/365. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think nano-super-micro-intra-magnetic. We will extend the standard industry term "customized".