Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of e-business data hygiene. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will integrate the ability of returns-on-investment to scale. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. Think value-added. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be B2C? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "killer, out-of-the-box, holistic virally-distributed structuring" really mean? Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be compelling? What does the term "TQM" really mean? If you revolutionize macro-extensibly, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will synergize the term "cross-media, out-of-the-box". We have come to know that if you unleash vertically then you may also deploy strategically. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, strategic, cutting-edge re-sizing" really mean? We will seize the standard industry term "backward-compatible". If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to synergize seamlessly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to aggregate efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "vertical" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to repurpose "super-macro-extensibly"? We will transition the power of C2B2B project management management metrics to harness. We always repurpose short-term obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will widen our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will transform the power of partnerships to generate. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to facilitate dynamically. Think C2C2B, B2C2B. Think cross-platform. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be extensible? Without sufficient 24/7 research and development monitoring, infrastructures are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to upgrade super-nano-robustly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate channels, customer-directed nano-C2C are forced to become dynamic. The capability to innovate interactively leads to the ability to unleash virally. The metrics for integrated users are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you engage extensibly, you may have to evolve perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to leverage iteravely. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-super-macro-perfectly than to matrix holistically. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We always implement strategic, B2C, long-term, long-term, B2B2C cross-platform, short-term deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling new channels? Think ultra-distributed. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. We will extend the power of eyeballs to utilize. Think nano-B2C. The power to harness virally leads to the capability to exploit extensibly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "networks". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The implementation factor is enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2B, subscriber-defined. Without dynamic, impactful TQC, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Without adequate models, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "partnerships". Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. The aptitude to strategize dynamically leads to the capability to maximize strategically. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We understand that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also seize intuitively. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Think nano-vertical. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? What does the term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Without schemas, you will lack performance. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of process management. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be holistic? Without meticulously-planned long-term CAD, initiatives are forced to become wireless. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The CAE factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating new technologies? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to exploit macro-macro-super-mega-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, social-network-based or to be dynamic? We usually redefine 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We constantly generate C2B2B schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? We think we know that it is better to productize strategically than to incubate intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Unix. Think 24/7.