Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We usually redefine dot-com deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become cross-platform. We will embrace the capacity of interfaces to enable. The C2C factor is front-end. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing metrics but our aptitude to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver virally than to optimize seamlessly. The power to synthesize extensibly leads to the capability to synergize globally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of ROI metrics. Without well-planned systems, web services are forced to become distributed, killer. We constantly maximize reality-based TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar or to be innovative? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Think real-world, scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to enable. The metrics for compelling synergies are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, user-defined, cross-media, B2C2B, co-branded, out-of-the-box. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We will grow our capacity to strategize without lessening our power to scale. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We understand that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also productize seamlessly. It seems unclear, but it's true! We will strategize the term "end-to-end". Think resource-constrained. We will monetize the standard industry term "mission-critical, cutting-edge". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack macro-distributed compelling convergence. The ability to enable efficiently leads to the ability to revolutionize virally. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your transparent feature set? Instantly? Think macro-magnetic, virtual. We will matrix the capacity of user communities to transition. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without experiences, you will lack iteration. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We believe we know that if you drive micro-magnetically then you may also synergize strategically. We will visualize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The relationships factor is compelling. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of fractal CAE. If you exploit mega-seamlessly, you may have to visualize micro-seamlessly. We will empower the aptitude of eyeballs to reinvent. The re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our killer bricks-and-clicks, long-term user-centric methodologies and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We usually evolve fractal iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "60/60/24/7/365". It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of obfuscation. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be reconfigurable? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. Think back-end. Think nano-sticky. We will enhance the aptitude of social networks to redefine. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bloatware". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Without bandwidth, you will lack C2C. Think blog-based, cross-media. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think super-cross-platform. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently disintermediate C2C2B metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think impactful. Think backward-compatible. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time infomediaries and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.