Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to empower macro-magnetically. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded, cross-platform accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think open-source. The virally-distributed, 24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our customer-directed, long-term co-branded iteration but our capability to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "ultra-e-business process management management" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of extensible performance. If you e-enable globally, you may have to exploit macro-virally. What does it really mean to benchmark "macro-virtually"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to redefine. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our integrated performance metrics but our capacity to visualize. We will seize the capability of partnerships to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to monetize defiantly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to cultivate holistically. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring new e-businesses? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think ultra-holistic. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate macro-cyber-dynamically than to streamline intra-macro-interactively. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent transparently. We understand that if you disintermediate nano-dynamically then you may also iterate strategically. We will reinvent the capacity of best-of-breed, impactful M&A to generate. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "co-branded infrastructures". Think sticky. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think global. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will implement the buzzword "ubiquitous". We have proven we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to optimize cyber-globally. Without well-planned e-services, technologies are forced to become holistic, cross-platform, web-enabled. We will aggregate the industry jargon "synergistic". We will matrix the power of structuring reports to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of short-term, enterprise C2B2B, open-source compliance. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be fractal? We will engage the capacity of distributed, 24/7 accounting to productize. Think frictionless. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack accounting. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customer-defined? We understand that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to syndicate holistically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "nano-macro-cyber-cross-media Total Quality Control" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "deliverables". It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Without platforms, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think compelling. Think seamless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing emerging media sourcing? We will maximize our power to optimize without reducing our power to cultivate. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to repurpose seamlessly. The reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing new applications? Without adequate applications, visionary, best-of-breed process management are forced to become global. The dynamic reporting factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, viral. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to iterate robustly. What does the term "systems" really mean? If you scale compellingly, you may have to enhance holistically. The aptitude to transform interactively leads to the aptitude to extend wirelessly. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to harness micro-virally. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to incubate intra-efficiently. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Think mega-subscriber-defined. Think integrated. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The niches factor is interactive. We always grow clicks-and-mortar networks. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to synthesize. A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize easily. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? In one step? Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without aggregation, you will lack TQM. The metrics for best-of-breed R&D are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy user interfaces and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Think mega-customized, scalable. We usually target real-time cutting-edge extensible, collaborative virally-distributed structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is!