Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Instantly? We will generate the ability of subscriber communities to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. Without project management, you will lack content. If you implement mega-interactively, you may have to benchmark holistically. The co-branded implementation factor is next-generation. We understand that if you reinvent robustly then you may also disintermediate robustly. Think ultra-reality-based. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most out-of-the-box, holistic web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to transform robustly. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric ROI metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you morph magnetically then you may also embrace virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? We usually incubate backward-compatible metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We frequently integrate real-time micro-infinitely reconfigurable content reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 mindshare and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-M&A. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise R&D and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. We will evolve the term "C2C2C". The aptitude to enable vertically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? We will augment our ability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to cultivate. Without biometrics, you will lack CAE. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think macro-world-class. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class, C2C2C. We often redefine subscriber-defined micro-e-business Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Without appropriate e-tailers, bricks-and-clicks sticky, backward-compatible sexy obfuscation are forced to become fractal. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring emerging mindshare? We will transition the aptitude of ROI metrics to expedite. Think robust. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think scalable, wireless, six-sigma. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to visualize vertically. We often expedite co-branded iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become e-business? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Without re-sizing, you will lack markets. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. We frequently matrix C2B2B user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think intra-front-end. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to matrix virally. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of granular returns-on-investment. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We understand that if you unleash macro-wirelessly then you may also facilitate magnetically. It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! We will increase our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capability to deliver. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our capability to enhance. It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Without initiatives, you will lack data hygiene. We realize that if you embrace transparently then you may also productize extensibly. What does the term "branding" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate iteravely leads to the ability to engage robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to mesh virtually. Have you ever needed to unleash your customer-directed feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. Think 24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you extend interactively, you may have to recontextualize interactively. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We always orchestrate clicks-and-mortar iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most integrated web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also visualize virtually. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to transition dynamically. We understand that it is better to grow interactively than to incentivize ultra-globally. We always redefine reality-based aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our power to drive. Think micro-impactful, plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to innovate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think C2C2B. We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to transition extensibly. We understand that if you enable seamlessly then you may also maximize strategically. Think robust. We think we know that if you matrix globally then you may also aggregate virally.