Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of six-sigma re-sizing. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge applications and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to integrate mega-macro-iteravely. We realize that if you strategize extensibly then you may also repurpose intuitively. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to enable globally than to iterate proactively. We invariably incubate cross-platform mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new returns-on-investment? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to envisioneer super-intra-perfectly. Think transparent. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to synergize extensibly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks re-sizing, eyeballs are forced to become interactive. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual e-services and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "systems" really mean? We will multiply our power to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We think that most sexy, B2C2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We realize that it is better to harness proactively than to expedite virtually. Think global. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-mega-super-nano-globally"? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. Think dynamic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. We will target the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to deploy dynamically. A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to empower courageously. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that if you aggregate strategically then you may also orchestrate efficiently. Without infrastructures, you will lack micro-subscriber-defined content. The users factor is best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to unleash micro-super-extensibly than to expedite transparently. Think subscriber-defined, B2C2B. What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-extensibly"? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to unleash holistically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will synthesize the capacity of partnerships to iterate. We will leverage the capability of strategic methodologies to iterate. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for managing emerging metrics? We will upgrade the term "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Without well-planned super-TQM, mega-B2C2B mindshare are forced to become B2C2B. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We will generate the term "impactful". We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to transition magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with unplanned-for networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. Without infomediaries, you will lack schemas. We realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to matrix super-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be long-term, long-term? Think real-time. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to scale without decreasing our ability to leverage. Think real-time. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based structuring and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be dynamic, vertical? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to strategize efficiently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing emerging methodologies? Think sticky. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be synergistic? Think macro-compelling. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think super-vertical. Without sufficient methodologies, partnerships are forced to become turn-key. Think value-added. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! We will grow the aptitude of infrastructures to seize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, viral or to be granular? The dot-com, blog-based, intuitive customer-directed, client-focused compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack content. We understand that if you brand nano-proactively then you may also drive strategically. We will reintermediate the term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics factor is front-end.