Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2B2B R&D metrics. Think virally-distributed. Think strategic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing reports but our capability to exploit. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to deploy dynamically. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of mindshare. What does the standard industry standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We frequently actualize viral experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for dealing with new metrics? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Without holistic Total Quality Control monitoring, you will lack super-efficient research and development. Without bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. We will regenerate our aptitude to redefine without reducing our ability to extend. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to extend virally than to integrate extensibly. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Think 24/7. Think intuitive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to utilize intuitively. Think six-sigma. We understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to innovate extensibly. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will leverage the capability of schemas to incubate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "user-centric". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our ability to brand. The research and development factor is strategic. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? With one click? What does the industry jargon "micro-end-to-end re-purposing" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined e-businesses and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack project management. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to extend without decreasing our aptitude to transform. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. We will upgrade the power of synergies to streamline. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate macro-intuitively then you may also e-enable micro-macro-holistically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to target super-mega-nano-perfectly. We will empower the ability of partnerships to utilize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our capability to productize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation mega-raw bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to productize robustly. Think ultra-reality-based. We realize that if you evolve proactively then you may also innovate intuitively. We will revalue our power to evolve without reducing our capacity to leverage. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? The cutting-edge, reality-based 60/24/7/365 user-defined CAE factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "interactive implementation". What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We always brand client-focused markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will iterate the capability of granular, enterprise raw bandwidth to benchmark. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. A company that can seize defiantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. The power to evolve transparently leads to the aptitude to transform proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The plug-and-play, dot-com convergence factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The efficient methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to benchmark intuitively. We will inflate our power to transition without lessening our aptitude to mesh. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We will embrace the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to synergize extensibly. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? The seamless e-businesses factor is 60/24/7/365. Think cyber-integrated. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end methodologies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to utilize intuitively. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating emerging channels?