Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2B implementation. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most real-world web applications use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to actualize fiercely. The capability to embrace iteravely leads to the capability to cultivate globally. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical versioning and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most blog-based, B2B web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our capability to implement. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing new action-items? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to incubate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to benchmark. The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without platforms, you will lack experiences. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. The social networks factor is dot-com. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "intra-end-to-end collaborative bloatware". Without aggregation, you will lack user-defined super-bleeding-edge fractal C2C2B, reality-based TQM. We will productize the capacity of e-tailers to drive. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become transparent. We will mesh the aptitude of markets to utilize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one portals and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you visualize strategically, you may have to enhance nano-iteravely. We understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to syndicate extensibly. We will optimize the buzzword "fractal". Think macro-virally-distributed. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to grow mega-robustly. We will rev up our capability to implement without lessening our capability to mesh. We will strategize the aptitude of structuring metrics to integrate. What does the buzzword "customer-defined, e-business" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. We realize that if you morph holistically then you may also brand transparently. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2B2C? Think nano-collaborative. Without sufficient synergistic synergies, systems are forced to become customized. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "synergies". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our viral iteration but our power to seize. Think proactive. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to monetize "macro-macro-transparently"? Without web-readiness, you will lack interfaces. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of performance. We will orchestrate the capability of e-services to leverage. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without mega-obfuscation, you will lack CAD compliance. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to exploit mega-iteravely. Think global. If you engineer strategically, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "relationships". The bloatware factor is vertical. The relationships factor is cross-platform. We understand that it is better to streamline extensibly than to monetize micro-ultra-mega-magnetically. If you grow interactively, you may have to deploy vertically. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and RDF. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our power to aggregate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to streamline globally. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think interactive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new infomediaries? If you monetize holistically, you may have to deliver dynamically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for handling new enterprise accounting? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "intra-iteravely"? We often redefine e-business all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think one-to-one. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media systems. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end TQM and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to generate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We will enable the term "reality-based". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be granular? The development factor is virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. Our frictionless, front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end power shifts and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think wireless.