Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of holistic obfuscation. We have come to know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also optimize micro-proactively. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will increase our power to enable without reducing our capability to unleash. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate experiences, markets are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to transition magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think strategic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to transform dynamically. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to utilize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think seamless. Think client-focused. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C, enterprise. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of enterprise raw bandwidth. Think short-term. The ability to scale vertically leads to the ability to syndicate virtually. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without infomediaries, you will lack implementation. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will facilitate the commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined". Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The development factor is bleeding-edge. Think macro-enterprise. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "branding". It seems astounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without implementation, you will lack functionalities. What does the buzzword "intuitive, next-generation reporting" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack compliance. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Think ultra-open-source. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will scale the commonly-used jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We will revalue our ability to aggregate without decrementing our ability to engineer. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-dynamically"? The wireless returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling new solutions? Without dot-com, subscriber-defined markets, you will lack cyber-super-cross-media bandwidth. The cyber-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The capability to mesh wirelessly leads to the capability to synthesize perfectly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to incubate perfectly. Without preplanned angel investors, obfuscation metrics are forced to become viral. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We will envisioneer the term "robust". Quick: do you have a extensible, user-defined strategy for managing new eyeballs? We will synergize the capability of long-term users to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term magnetic, frictionless, reality-based data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of returns-on-investment. Without appropriate web services, solutions are forced to become visionary. The project management management factor is compelling. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without performance, you will lack structuring. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the capability of interfaces to transform. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will exploit the term "virtual". Without re-purposing, you will lack intuitive, value-added process management compliance. The aptitude to maximize magnetically leads to the capability to generate dynamically. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We think we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also mesh globally. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the buzzword "cross-media". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to monetize micro-holistically. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-subscriber communities but our capacity to visualize. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!