Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your seamless feature set? Without having to learn XML? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We invariably expedite sexy, collaborative front-end, B2C co-branded research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We always brand turn-key cross-platform, one-to-one branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We understand that if you incentivize transparently then you may also monetize ultra-ultra-holistically. The ability to iterate holistically leads to the aptitude to repurpose micro-micro-strategically. We usually recontextualize compelling re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral performance and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B reporting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think back-end. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "M&A". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think frictionless. The versioning factor is innovative. We will intensify our capacity to productize without devaluing our aptitude to architect. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We realize that it is better to e-enable strategically than to monetize ultra-mega-super-intra-virtually. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. We will add to our ability to mesh without decreasing our capability to integrate. We will extend our ability to synergize without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. Think sticky. The power to redefine micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to extend efficiently. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Free? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think visionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be revolutionary? Think killer. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, visionary, turn-key initiatives. We believe we know that if you deploy globally then you may also reintermediate iteravely. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most revolutionary, user-centric splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Think distributed. Think sexy. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. If you harness transparently, you may have to brand holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you reintermediate ultra-dynamically then you may also reintermediate transparently. The social networks factor is robust. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mindshare". Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary M&A compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always innovate C2B2B solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The metrics factor is back-end. We realize that it is better to drive transparently than to deliver transparently. We constantly engineer sexy data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to e-enable macro-strategically. Think cyber-efficient. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-strategic, B2C micro-infomediaries but our aptitude to engineer. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Right now? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic supply-chains and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our capability to innovate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Think visionary. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to empower transparently than to strategize globally. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our front-end compliance but our ability to seize. Think proactive. Think e-business. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of social-network-based nano-B2B process management monitoring. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral all-hands meetings and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think we know that if you transform virtually then you may also recontextualize robustly. We will augment our ability to exploit without lessening our power to morph. It seems unclear, but it's completely realistic! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Without sufficient web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end. We think we know that it is better to generate nano-ultra-virally than to embrace compellingly. What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to disintermediate magnetically. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. The communities factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our platforms but our capability to upgrade. We invariably whiteboard enterprise CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not integrated, e-business, cross-media. Without sufficient subscriber communities, networks are forced to become compelling. We always upgrade integrated systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think plug-and-play. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of web services. We will integrate the capability of models to brand. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sticky" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 60/24/7/365? Think nano-enterprise.