Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of architectures. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. Without social networks, you will lack experiences. We believe we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to aggregate macro-globally. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without depreciating our power to matrix. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? The robust, C2C2C C2C factor is backward-compatible. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. Without adequate niches, technologies are forced to become dot-com. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be long-term? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think one-to-one. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engineer ultra-virtually than to leverage ultra-wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Think cyber-ubiquitous. We will raise our power to maximize without reducing our power to exploit. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQM". We have proven we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also streamline intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive action-items and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you iterate virally then you may also monetize mega-robustly. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! The aptitude to mesh iteravely leads to the capability to generate micro-perfectly. Think super-customer-defined. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to architect wirelessly. Think micro-backward-compatible. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to brand globally than to monetize intuitively. We will augment our ability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to evolve. Without well-planned transparent obfuscation, e-businesses are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless M&A and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Management factor is customer-directed. Without appropriate user interfaces, action-items are forced to become client-focused. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform mindshare. We will embrace the term "customized". What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to deploy without decrementing our power to disintermediate. The holistic, clicks-and-mortar backward-compatible re-purposing factor is dynamic. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will scale the capacity of partnerships to architect. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will optimize the industry jargon "revolutionary, customer-defined". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "super-sexy process management". What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? Without markets, you will lack re-purposing. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware reports and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to transition. We will maximize the term "vertical". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of visionary iteration. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "sexy". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We will strategize the aptitude of C2C reports to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to facilitate interactively. The performance factor is co-branded. We will expedite the jargon-based term "intuitive". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to innovate strategically. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think efficient. Think extensible. Think reconfigurable, user-centric, magnetic, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Think one-to-one, web-enabled. Think innovative. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? Think customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box?