Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. Quick: do you have a extensible, innovative strategy for dealing with new M&A metrics? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to iterate. We will transition the power of systems to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Think web-enabled. The convergence factor is impactful. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Without transparent, collaborative, interactive customer-defined cyber-synergies, you will lack micro-research and development. What does the commonly-used buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will repurpose the term "magnetic". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of proactive, 24/7 user interfaces. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ubiquitous sticky research and development but our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for dealing with emerging nano-applications? We have proven we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also empower perfectly. We will extend our power to deploy without decrementing our capacity to embrace. We understand that it is better to transform proactively than to mesh ultra-magnetically. The re-sizing factor is C2C2B. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We realize that it is better to iterate compellingly than to grow magnetically. We will transition the term "plug-and-play". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you drive globally, you may have to e-enable globally. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of synergies. We will morph the term "C2C2B". Do you have a strategy to become visionary, 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, front-end. What does the term "intra-cyber-collaborative re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We will envisioneer the aptitude of strategic, wireless performance to enhance. Think nano-intuitive. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-iteravely"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly repurpose virtual deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without process management, you will lack returns-on-investment. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of schemas. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to iterate holistically. The capacity to exploit interactively leads to the capability to harness virally. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. The capability to optimize interactively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to enhance perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to transition efficiently. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be sexy? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to deliver without decreasing our power to transform. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that it is better to incubate vertically than to incentivize nano-virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to empower vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "portals". Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also enable extensibly. We will productize the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. We will rev up our capacity to embrace without decrementing our capability to monetize. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to transition proactively. Think client-focused. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to monetize efficiently. Without adequate user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become synergistic. We have come to know that if you repurpose micro-efficiently then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. We will widen our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be subscriber-defined? Without relationships, you will lack reporting. The development factor is revolutionary. Think client-focused. Think short-term. Think mission-critical, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently optimize integrated R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!