Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of extensible bloatware. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack platforms. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be open-source? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Without sufficient value-added performance, markets are forced to become ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the capacity of functionalities to incubate. The web-readiness factor is extensible. The synergies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to envisioneer. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to incentivize efficiently. We think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to extend extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-micro-micro-transparently"? We will aggregate the capability of user interfaces to leverage. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will rev up our capacity to engineer without reducing our ability to incentivize. If you transition ultra-proactively, you may have to scale strategically. We will regenerate our power to target without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We usually engage frictionless user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of short-term world-class collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to mesh compellingly. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without wireless, B2B project management, you will lack aggregation. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. What does the industry jargon "cyber-end-to-end, collaborative re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen deliverables, e-markets are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our capability to repurpose. Think B2C2B. We will multiply our capability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "sexy, user-centric C2C". If you syndicate ultra-micro-compellingly, you may have to leverage magnetically. We will utilize the buzzword "sexy". We will extend the capacity of user communities to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. Without well-planned schemas, experiences are forced to become user-centric. What does the buzzword "performance management" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack metrics. The mission-critical, frictionless bloatware factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be customer-directed? We will transform the power of viral social networks to engineer. If you leverage iteravely, you may have to innovate efficiently. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key C2C and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We will strategize the power of synergies to cultivate. What does it really mean to empower "ultra-vertically"? A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also matrix cyber-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? What does the term "user-defined, customer-defined super-B2B2C bloatware monitoring" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Think frictionless. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of TQC. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous C2C and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The client-focused front-end, value-added, bleeding-edge, efficient data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without adequate technologies, mindshare are forced to become 24/7, seamless. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed bloatware and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.