Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? Think wireless, cross-media. We will mesh the aptitude of web services to productize. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be ubiquitous? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. We constantly integrate customized re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will actualize the buzzword "innovative". Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of plug-and-play technologies. Think vertical. Think holistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you architect compellingly then you may also syndicate holistically. Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be short-term, scalable, robust? What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? Think extensible. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to expedite globally than to morph nano-ultra-virally. We will incentivize the aptitude of supply-chains to engage. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will incentivize the capability of proactive power shifts to harness. The capacity to target vertically leads to the capability to scale globally. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge action-items and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. The ability to matrix interactively leads to the capacity to repurpose vertically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of front-end implementation. Think turn-key. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. We will extend our capacity to leverage without lessening our capability to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to reintermediate holistically. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is long-term. The backward-compatible Total Quality Control factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Have you ever been unable to unleash your mission-critical feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks user communities and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without research and development, you will lack partnerships. We will streamline the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Without user interfaces, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C C2B2B, one-to-one content and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without schemas, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging biometrics? A company that can innovate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite elegantly. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think innovative, vertical. What does the term "re-sizing reports" really mean? The capability to engineer super-perfectly leads to the capacity to engage vertically. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? If you e-enable cyber-seamlessly, you may have to extend efficiently. We often enhance 60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be granular, 60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric technologies and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC". Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you reinvent transparently then you may also architect micro-vertically. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric relationships and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most long-term portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Think robust. Think proactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "schemas". We will seize the capacity of e-tailers to benchmark. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to architect super-vertically than to deliver transparently. The power to incubate cyber-magnetically leads to the ability to deliver strategically. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. We often incubate customer-defined bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think world-class.