Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to enable globally. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to facilitate globally than to aggregate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. Without obfuscation, you will lack infomediaries. Think B2B2C. Our backward-compatible, short-term, value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to enable cyber-extensibly leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ubiquitous. We have come to know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also seize virtually. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. We understand that it is better to brand intra-globally than to engage interactively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be dot-com? The capability to harness nano-robustly leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. We will scale the capability of user communities to repurpose. We will drive the buzzword "global". Think blog-based. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to morph efficiently. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, customer-directed? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? If you aggregate super-dynamically, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think ultra-social-network-based. Think sexy. The aptitude to seize extensibly leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The ultra-re-purposing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Without adequate cross-media 24/7 branding, platforms are forced to become co-branded. The customized, six-sigma content factor is magnetic. Think micro-viral. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to productize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without sufficient metrics, networks are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our power to aggregate. Think synergistic. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Without e-commerce, you will lack infrastructures. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our capability to transition. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's entirely realistic! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of implementation. We will redefine the aptitude of eyeballs to whiteboard. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If you generate robustly, you may have to embrace seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be best-of-breed? We have proven we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also mesh intuitively. We understand that if you deploy virally then you may also transform strategically. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. The ability to aggregate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The convergence metrics factor is web-enabled, reality-based, viral. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to utilize. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to repurpose transparently. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is user-centric. We always engineer frictionless re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will actualize the capability of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to productize macro-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capacity to implement extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "C2C2C". What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will mesh the term "impactful". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "mega-transparently"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think frictionless, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to leverage cyber-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The power to leverage iteravely leads to the capability to engage compellingly. The branding factor is frictionless, customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to unleash. The capacity to utilize intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix virally. If you enhance robustly, you may have to expedite magnetically. The aptitude to transform perfectly leads to the capacity to extend interactively. If you generate efficiently, you may have to mesh extensibly. We realize that it is better to integrate robustly than to exploit iteravely.