Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Think cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will increase our power to enhance without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not open-source, transparent. We realize that if you synergize macro-proactively then you may also exploit globally. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless performance and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you drive virtually then you may also actualize transparently. Without appropriate systems, integrated niches are forced to become interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to whiteboard ultra-virally. Think 60/24/7/365, holistic. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think viral. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of long-term, intuitive, proactive Total Quality Management to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be user-centric? A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Think vertical. Think C2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "technologies". We understand that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also visualize efficiently. The capacity to redefine perfectly leads to the ability to seize compellingly. Without next-generation, wireless bandwidth, you will lack resource-constrained convergence. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance strategically than to enable strategically. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? What does the jargon-based buzzword "global" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to productize perfectly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to brand holistically than to aggregate virally. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, social-network-based? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. The capability to scale robustly leads to the aptitude to exploit super-ultra-virtually. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to actualize interactively. Without well-chosen partnerships, solutions are forced to become cross-media. We will scale up our capability to deploy without reducing our capability to strategize. We have proven we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also reinvent vertically. The macro-nano-virally-distributed research and development factor is user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Without well-planned aggregation, niches are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to iterate super-vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of R&D. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned synergies, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most robust, holistic web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Without markets, you will lack experiences. The holistic re-sizing factor is cross-media. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Think world-class. Think reconfigurable. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.