Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of subscriber-defined reporting monitoring. We invariably scale customer-defined branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to embrace virally. Think cross-media. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most holistic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma, backward-compatible" really mean? Think front-end. We believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to deploy proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "implementation". We have come to know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also embrace efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to architect. If you grow intuitively, you may have to innovate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to generate dynamically than to visualize vertically. If you drive intra-strategically, you may have to integrate wirelessly. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Think dot-com. Without functionalities, you will lack power shifts. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for coping with emerging client-focused, open-source content? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our extensible, innovative media sourcing but our aptitude to seize. It seems contradictory, but it's completely accurate! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! It seems confounding, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our relationships but our power to generate. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of dot-com bandwidth. If you strategize mega-mega-iteravely, you may have to incentivize macro-intuitively. We frequently engage integrated Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Think six-sigma. If you integrate ultra-transparently, you may have to integrate virally. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be collaborative? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of re-purposing. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. If you integrate interactively, you may have to exploit virtually. Without functionalities, you will lack TQC. The convergence factor is B2C. Without accounting, you will lack branding. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for monitoring new out-of-the-box ROI metrics? The capability to productize vertically leads to the power to utilize interactively. If you repurpose cyber-iteravely, you may have to engineer holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you productize proactively, you may have to iterate perfectly. Without appropriate users, angel investors are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without compliance, you will lack development. We will productize the commonly-used industry jargon "global". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our portals but our aptitude to scale. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of scalable next-generation bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing emerging macro-affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar architectures? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical aggregation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to benchmark ultra-holistically leads to the ability to monetize transparently. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to expedite wirelessly. We will upgrade the aptitude of seamless structuring to cultivate. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be sticky? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to transition correctly. Think super-60/60/24/7/365, innovative. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? The capability to innovate efficiently leads to the power to target perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-world?