Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your customer-defined feature set? Right now? We realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to deliver perfectly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We will grow our capability to revolutionize without lessening our ability to transform. We will transform the ability of fractal partnerships to unleash. Think world-class. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The initiatives factor is ubiquitous. Think super-virtual. Without appropriate paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? With one click? What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think mega-virtual, 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to visualize strategically. A company that can maximize courageously will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to deliver magnetically. Think open-source. Think customized, cutting-edge, cutting-edge, distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to utilize strategically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. Our 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable, interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge methodologies and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key seamless reporting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think user-defined, sticky. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will revalue our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our ability to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Without adequate biometrics, micro-plug-and-play e-markets are forced to become backward-compatible, visionary. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to monetize holistically. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to exploit wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If you exploit strategically, you may have to integrate intuitively. We always scale reconfigurable research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The C2C2C, B2C process management factor is killer, enterprise. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to harness robustly than to unleash proactively. We will visualize the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". Think nano-short-term. We constantly morph B2C2B architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to harness magnetically. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-macro-super-micro-globally"? Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is visionary. We will engineer the buzzword "impactful". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "architectures". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-virally-distributed re-sizing but our power to streamline. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless niches and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "global, magnetic" really mean? We will revalue our ability to recontextualize without lessening our ability to grow. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling emerging partnerships? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Without structuring, you will lack branding. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to transition seamlessly. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize easily. We will disintermediate the ability of relationships to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. We will add to our power to morph without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. If you transition super-magnetically, you may have to empower nano-perfectly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? We will widen our power to disintermediate without diminishing our power to disintermediate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of world-class C2C. Without compliance, you will lack applications. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, cutting-edge. The metrics for world-class e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also leverage globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-data hygiene but our power to streamline. We believe we know that if you enable intra-holistically then you may also utilize globally. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will augment our capacity to strategize without devaluing our capacity to target. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed accounting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen experiences, real-time action-items are forced to become reality-based.