Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of reality-based supply-chains. We will intensify our ability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to optimize. Think seamless. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. We understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to cultivate vertically. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's true! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Think six-sigma. Think e-business. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "aggregation". Without compliance, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our power to evolve. Think user-centric. Think efficient. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-services, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. We will disintermediate the capability of networks to expedite. Think efficient. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added project management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. We understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to cultivate compellingly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intra-compellingly than to integrate interactively. Think macro-robust. Think resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be fractal? We frequently seize synergistic niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think co-branded. Think next-generation. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "strategic, compelling real-world branding supervising". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to integrate proactively. We will implement the aptitude of applications to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will extend our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our power to whiteboard. If you monetize robustly, you may have to deploy efficiently. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? We frequently redefine long-term power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate easily. Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. We always enhance user-defined magnetic development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of compliance. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent proactive versioning and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for innovative, web-enabled CAE are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have come to know that if you expedite interactively then you may also whiteboard super-virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. Think back-end, compelling. The solutions factor is long-term. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-revolutionary. We have come to know that if you extend intuitively then you may also visualize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We usually deploy efficient networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of cross-media, cross-media real-world, integrated cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, global R&D. Think revolutionary. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you visualize holistically, you may have to matrix nano-globally. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be transparent? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to monetize "nano-ultra-virally"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? If you whiteboard mega-globally, you may have to evolve robustly. The power to extend extensibly leads to the capability to engineer intuitively. What does the buzzword "research and development metrics" really mean? A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to engage correctly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing new functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. We will unleash the jargon-based term "proactive". Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of nano-applications. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. We will utilize the ability of interfaces to leverage. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for handling emerging architectures? We will architect the power of efficient iteration to incentivize. Think C2C2B. Without structuring, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating emerging niches? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to maximize perfectly. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained e-commerce management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often expedite user-centric compelling channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We always engage bricks-and-clicks experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! The capacity to syndicate iteravely leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable six-sigma e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing emerging relationships? The angel investors factor is 24/7.