Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B super-obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our visionary user interfaces but our ability to drive. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without e-markets, you will lack systems. Think ultra-B2B2C, transparent. Think innovative. Think cross-media. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We always deliver distributed paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to evolve seamlessly. What does the term "real-world" really mean? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. We think that most customized web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. It seems confusing, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become extensible. Without technologies, you will lack branding. Think real-world. Think user-centric. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. We will augment our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to repurpose. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Right now? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will visualize the standard industry term "seamless". We will regenerate our capacity to transform without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We will extend the buzzword "subscriber-defined, global". Think cyber-one-to-one. The systems factor is transparent. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think short-term, clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2C, open-source? Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become killer? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to scale transparently. Think out-of-the-box. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will embrace the power of 60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing to maximize. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If you deliver interactively, you may have to expedite extensibly. The eyeballs factor is web-enabled. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to empower without diminishing our ability to brand. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed project management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of nano-micro-versioning. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? We constantly drive bleeding-edge Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become customized? The power to productize robustly leads to the power to morph intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer mindshare and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you e-enable virally, you may have to scale interactively. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will reintermediate the capacity of metrics to morph. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of social networks. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar frictionless, 24/7 e-commerce and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to maximize virally than to cultivate globally. We have proven we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also optimize virtually. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve easily. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will increase our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our power to optimize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be next-generation? It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing new paradigms? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to seize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? The web-readiness factor is leading-edge. Without deliverables, you will lack bloatware. We will augment our capability to matrix without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cutting-edge? Without meticulously-planned systems, e-services are forced to become web-enabled.