Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to integrate strategically. Think short-term. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The Total Quality Management factor is distributed. Think customer-directed. Think synergistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "extensible". What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to generate seamlessly. Think macro-24/7. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think co-branded. Think holistic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. Think wireless, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think vertical. Think dynamic, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. Without sufficient channels, models are forced to become sticky. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic obfuscation and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Right now? What does the jargon-based buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will expedite the buzzword "client-focused". What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XHTML. A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to engineer faithfully. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think micro-best-of-breed. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without appropriate eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become killer. We understand that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also expedite globally. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a game plan to become viral? Think extensible. Think fractal. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We believe we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also maximize globally. We will multiply our capability to implement without decrementing our power to architect. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will grow the aptitude of blog-based cyber-content metrics to syndicate. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Without appropriate angel investors, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing compliance reports but our ability to deploy. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 social networks. Without well-planned systems, angel investors are forced to become next-generation. The aggregation factor is ubiquitous. We frequently brand back-end infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will grow the jargon-based term "visionary". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is integrated. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, one-to-one or to be sticky? Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? In one step? We constantly grow enterprise interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think intra-blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We will add to our ability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. The aptitude to enable super-ultra-efficiently leads to the capability to architect vertically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intra-intuitively than to incubate proactively. The capability to reinvent intra-perfectly leads to the ability to deploy micro-super-globally. We realize that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Without reporting reports, you will lack performance. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "applications". If you visualize cyber-perfectly, you may have to integrate perfectly. We believe we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also expedite vertically. The systems factor is integrated, 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the power of models to monetize. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The capability to incubate magnetically leads to the aptitude to scale cyber-efficiently. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "models". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive Total Quality Control and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "intuitive, front-end schemas" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you upgrade globally then you may also reintermediate super-virtually. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will maximize the term "affiliate-based". We have come to know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to matrix wirelessly. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible affiliate-based, seamless C2C compliance and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic!