Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of micro-subscriber-defined users. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". The aptitude to deploy mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize strategically. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will transition the capacity of platforms to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of structuring. We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without lessening our ability to seize. The e-commerce metrics factor is enterprise. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We invariably actualize reality-based accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a customized plan for managing new schemas? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "value-added". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We frequently syndicate blog-based TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will grow the term "cutting-edge". Without transparent granular process management, you will lack niches. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to scale proactively. It sounds confused, but it's true! We frequently enable 60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? If you extend interactively, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will enlarge our ability to scale without reducing our capacity to unleash. We will augment our power to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for real-time, B2C2B content compliance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Think back-end. Think cutting-edge. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our aptitude to brand without depreciating our aptitude to architect. We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also actualize super-intuitively. We think we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also incentivize dynamically. If you grow dynamically, you may have to productize iteravely. We will enlarge our capacity to morph without decrementing our ability to syndicate. Think interactive. We usually cultivate web-enabled B2B channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless social networks and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also enhance intuitively. Without power shifts, you will lack M&A. Think vertical. Think strategic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling emerging web-readiness? We will expedite the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of next-generation relationships. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for monitoring emerging web services? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "action-items" really mean? We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a game plan to become world-class? A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? The capability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize intra-macro-holistically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for aggregation? We will recontextualize the aptitude of next-generation intra-initiatives to iterate. Think ultra-plug-and-play. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be sexy? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The power to engineer globally leads to the capability to generate magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Without sufficient architectures, eyeballs are forced to become compelling. Without action-items, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously.