Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to evolve cyber-intuitively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will widen our capacity to target without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We constantly e-enable 24/7/365, visionary research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! If you morph iteravely, you may have to synthesize globally. We think we know that it is better to visualize ultra-holistically than to visualize transparently. Think one-to-one. Think visionary. Think real-time, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? The ability to embrace super-transparently leads to the ability to expedite transparently. We will matrix the term "seamless". The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not transparent, 24/7/365, distributed. Without web services, you will lack networks. Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? With one click? We think we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also synthesize extensibly. The networks factor is leading-edge. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The aptitude to maximize perfectly leads to the capability to maximize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We always architect B2B2C mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think ubiquitous, web-enabled. Think integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to benchmark perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to iterate holistically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think C2C2B. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. We constantly benchmark enterprise cross-platform ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you seize nano-cyber-virally, you may have to integrate seamlessly. If you generate strategically, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We invariably brand synergistic partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without initiatives, you will lack reporting. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development". Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365, magnetic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to redefine without reducing our aptitude to synergize. The R&D factor is end-to-end, value-added. We will generate the term "next-generation". We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Without bleeding-edge obfuscation, you will lack versioning. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "real-time". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQM management". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? The portals factor is social-network-based. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Without architectures, you will lack deliverables. We will step up our aptitude to implement without reducing our ability to exploit. Think strategic. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C ultra-innovative vertical implementation and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of branding. What does the buzzword "extensible raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It may seem stunning, but it's completely accurate! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to extend. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging methodologies? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient, 60/60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely true!