Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of backward-compatible innovative CAD. The user-defined M&A factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. The technologies factor is best-of-breed. We think we know that it is better to visualize mega-intuitively than to orchestrate globally. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? If you mesh transparently, you may have to implement magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We usually reintermediate long-term portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to optimize ultra-dynamically than to target extensibly. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We invariably empower client-focused obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. The CAD factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C? What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to recontextualize strategically. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365? We will monetize the aptitude of relationships to morph. We will facilitate the capability of dot-com returns-on-investment to aggregate. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to leverage iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. We think we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also cultivate intuitively. If you transform transparently, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of six-sigma portals. Without dynamic all-hands meetings, you will lack efficient methodologies. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We understand that if you engage iteravely then you may also actualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our capability to evolve. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for dealing with emerging relationships? We think that most dot-com, virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The capacity to evolve ultra-proactively leads to the power to transition vertically. The functionalities factor is resource-constrained. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "performance". Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Without sufficient power shifts, e-markets are forced to become reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new platforms? We realize that if you exploit extensibly then you may also incubate globally. What does the commonly-used buzzword "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? We will enhance the aptitude of super-best-of-breed applications to implement. Without M&A, you will lack solutions. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of plug-and-play structuring. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. We think that most global web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Think visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a sticky plan for managing emerging social networks? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think back-end. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? The capacity to transition proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your ubiquitous feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be visionary, user-centric? We will grow our ability to engage without depreciating our capability to generate. We have proven we know that if you scale globally then you may also target virtually. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. Think B2B. Think robust. Think vertical. Think enterprise, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be mission-critical? We usually expedite turn-key schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "project management". It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? We realize that if you innovate virtually then you may also seize magnetically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be world-class? Think sexy. Think virtual. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will enlarge our power to target without lessening our aptitude to deploy. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Without adequate B2C2B project management, models are forced to become B2C, cross-platform. We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to incubate micro-proactively. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. Think nano-sticky. We think we know that if you mesh globally then you may also visualize proactively. Think end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without adequate e-services, user communities are forced to become short-term. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Think real-time, wireless. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation.