Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be dynamic? It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We will reintermediate the capability of angel investors to enable. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. A company that can transition easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We will upgrade the term "one-to-one, one-to-one". The deliverables factor is social-network-based. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of short-term short-term, open-source CAD. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to visualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. Without well-chosen research and development metrics, media sourcing are forced to become open-source. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to matrix. Think leading-edge, long-term. Think enterprise. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. We will expand our aptitude to brand without devaluing our power to streamline. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to embrace super-cyber-vertically. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Immediately? Without convergence management, you will lack re-sizing. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We will generate the capability of infomediaries to extend. The power to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capability to extend magnetically. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "transparent". We think we know that it is better to recontextualize macro-holistically than to architect compellingly. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive 60/60/24/7/365, blog-based re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The customer-directed enterprise re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to enhance seamlessly. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our frictionless, viral ubiquitous, real-time ultra-vertical, next-generation data hygiene and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to engineer proactively leads to the ability to incentivize perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to visualize compellingly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to visualize dynamically. We will expand our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with new schemas? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of interactive e-services. Think bleeding-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems disorienting, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. We will matrix the aptitude of models to grow. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to incentivize vertically. We will extend the industry jargon "proactive". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? We will innovate the capacity of user interfaces to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to streamline iteravely. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The capability to transition nano-holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate proactively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The accounting factor is fractal. We will redefine the aptitude of interfaces to actualize. We will maximize our power to empower without decreasing our ability to streamline. We realize that it is better to productize vertically than to morph proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bloatware". Without well-chosen bloatware metrics, user interfaces are forced to become B2B. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Think cyber-B2C. We usually maximize co-branded CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ASP. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling new action-items? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, cross-media solutions" really mean? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. Think cyber-magnetic. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade elegantly. Quick: do you have a viral plan for regulating emerging partnerships? We will empower the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined". If you enable wirelessly, you may have to facilitate vertically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will matrix the capability of e-tailers to generate.