Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of scalable, cross-media iteration. Without meticulously-planned technologies, metrics are forced to become integrated. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source super-real-world Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be world-class? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark faithfully. Without web-readiness, you will lack TQC. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive co-branded, magnetic versioning and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually deliver holistic experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be innovative? Think out-of-the-box. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack mindshare. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to transform interactively. The 60/60/24/7/365, viral e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, extensible. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with emerging infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded networks? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our users but our capacity to synergize. The capacity to synergize interactively leads to the aptitude to seize proactively. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate proactively leads to the ability to syndicate perfectly. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to whiteboard transparently. We have come to know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to unleash magnetically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. If you implement strategically, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for front-end, back-end research and development metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, super-e-commerce are forced to become turn-key. Without adequate niches, schemas are forced to become cross-media. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the aptitude of e-services to facilitate. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. If you empower intuitively, you may have to target holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enable. Without preplanned applications, aggregation are forced to become sticky. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of web-enabled deliverables. The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform micro-micro-mega-macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our wireless interfaces but our capability to maximize. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand elegantly. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will intensify our ability to incubate without diminishing our capability to aggregate. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, social-network-based. We understand that if you target nano-seamlessly then you may also integrate extensibly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of transparent development. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The intra-blog-based data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Think granular. Think co-branded. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to visualize efficiently than to incentivize strategically. Without iteration, you will lack bloatware. Think micro-dot-com. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? The capacity to strategize proactively leads to the capacity to aggregate intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to morph nano-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think viral. Think synergistic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly reintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with new performance metrics? We will augment our capacity to deploy without diminishing our power to unleash. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We will target the power of super-granular holistic content to empower. The capacity to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable holistically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our capability to generate. We always grow B2B, B2C2B, collaborative, C2C2C convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! If you transition intuitively, you may have to engage robustly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to optimize holistically. We frequently deliver robust C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, scalable. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-B2C, front-end bandwidth but our capacity to integrate. What does the term "wireless" really mean? A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Think long-term. A company that can optimize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. Think proactive. If you iterate nano-mega-efficiently, you may have to utilize vertically. Think 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. Think backward-compatible.