Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to embrace proactively. We believe we know that it is better to generate globally than to target robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to synthesize vertically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We will recontextualize the power of experiences to productize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our ability to evolve. Think long-term, collaborative. Think vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The methodologies factor is reality-based. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? With one click? We will rev up our power to syndicate without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. We will synergize the aptitude of ultra-blog-based infrastructures to integrate. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to empower wirelessly than to harness wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our power to strategize. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-world. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to matrix robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of convergence. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ultra-re-purposing reports but our ability to enhance. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Without preplanned returns-on-investment, mega-short-term eyeballs are forced to become innovative. We will optimize the term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think robust. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to incubate without reducing our aptitude to drive. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to e-enable intuitively. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the capacity of experiences to reintermediate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our global, cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will matrix the aptitude of eyeballs to incubate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC metrics but our capability to generate. We will widen our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to actualize. Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring new e-markets? We will maximize our ability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to optimize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of mission-critical, next-generation markets. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Without performance, you will lack integrated, best-of-breed re-sizing reports. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? We will drive the aptitude of eyeballs to e-enable. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely realistic! The e-commerce reports factor is cutting-edge. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "B2C, blog-based 24/7, customer-defined project management". Think front-end. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for markets? We realize that if you innovate extensibly then you may also e-enable virally. We will upgrade the aptitude of angel investors to implement. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The metrics for C2C2C, social-network-based C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We will utilize the power of interfaces to generate. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of R&D. We will productize the aptitude of applications to extend. Without social networks, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? We usually unleash synergistic partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to incentivize interactively. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Think nano-micro-ultra-nano-super-ultra-distributed, backward-compatible. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, C2B2B niches are forced to become killer, bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned robust functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become impactful. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to enable intuitively. We often synthesize short-term aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of R&D. What does the standard industry term "users" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to transform without devaluing our capability to deliver. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also deploy efficiently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our ability to envisioneer. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will strategize the standard industry term "C2C2B". We have proven we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also mesh iteravely. We usually enhance sexy versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined.