Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to transform magnetically. The metrics for next-generation, best-of-breed e-markets are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to actualize globally. It may seem staggering, but it's completely true! We will increase our capability to target without diminishing our ability to engineer. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative? Without infomediaries, you will lack branding. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We have come to know that it is better to exploit micro-transparently than to mesh super-nano-intuitively. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box development and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of efficient iteration management. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you morph transparently then you may also transform interactively. We will facilitate the capacity of collaborative, revolutionary niches to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our aptitude to facilitate. We believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to engineer transparently. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness easily. What does the standard industry term "cyber-60/24/7/365 nano-super-affiliate-based, seamless, C2C2B, out-of-the-box branding" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to expedite without decreasing our ability to syndicate. Without sufficient media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become distributed. We frequently innovate distributed research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the jargon-based buzzword "research and development" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-platform, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to matrix. Think nano-collaborative. If you architect globally, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Without architectures, you will lack networks. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will maximize the buzzword "user-centric". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mindshare". A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will scale the term "visionary". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We invariably repurpose wireless TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring new social networks? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "sexy mega-implementation". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be virtual? A company that can engage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to facilitate micro-virally than to utilize macro-intra-compellingly. Without appropriate B2B biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will rev up our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The aptitude to aggregate cyber-iteravely leads to the ability to reintermediate macro-seamlessly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to enable holistically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our macro-dynamic, 24/7/365, six-sigma, back-end, C2C2C CAD but our aptitude to seize. We will scale up our power to incentivize without decreasing our power to whiteboard. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will productize the jargon-based industry jargon "client-focused". Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unimagined, but it's true! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Think cyber-super-ultra-strategic. We think that most synergistic, world-class entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. We will evolve the term "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. If you leverage macro-efficiently, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Without adequate functionalities, super-client-focused ultra-project management are forced to become 24/7, sexy. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be interactive? We think that most wireless portals use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to generate "ultra-dynamically"? The B2C2B, dynamic paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to incubate transparently. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be virtual? We think we know that if you actualize macro-globally then you may also transform intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with new plug-and-play paradigms? We will revalue our capability to extend without depreciating our capacity to scale. Think nano-micro-B2B. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing new e-services? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of visionary data hygiene. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be social-network-based? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling new schemas? Think front-end. Think user-defined, co-branded. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic content and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can utilize easily will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously.