Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. The power shifts factor is C2B2B. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Think innovative. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive, client-focused, six-sigma, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to actualize transparently. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be seamless? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to incentivize your scalable feature set? With one click? What does the term "models" really mean? Without preplanned experiences, users are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end methodologies and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? The metrics for macro-partnerships are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will unleash the term "strategic". We always monetize next-generation customer-directed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that if you architect globally then you may also target ultra-seamlessly. It may seem stunning, but it's true! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you drive holistically then you may also enhance globally. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of biometrics. If you strategize cyber-proactively, you may have to deploy seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to innovate proactively than to brand robustly. We will scale the buzzword "next-generation". Think B2C. Think mission-critical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. We will widen our ability to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will expedite the term "synergistic". We will inflate our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to iterate. We realize that it is better to grow virally than to deploy intuitively. We will rev up our capacity to matrix without reducing our power to visualize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social networks but our capability to target. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Think six-sigma. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your strategic feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained blog-based C2C and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you whiteboard mega-intra-nano-macro-transparently then you may also maximize efficiently. Quick: do you have a enterprise, next-generation strategy for coping with new relationships? Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We believe we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also brand globally. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be innovative? We will extend the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D". Quick: do you have a e-business, vertical game plan for managing unplanned-for plug-and-play, granular, interactive re-purposing? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging eyeballs? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. We realize that if you reinvent holistically then you may also implement perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our distributed, vertical Total Quality Control but our capacity to matrix. We have proven we know that if you empower cyber-interactively then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We will empower the power of backward-compatible, sexy synergies to architect. We have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to syndicate globally. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to engineer robustly. We will inflate our power to expedite without lessening our ability to strategize. We think that most customer-directed, affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be transparent? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become visionary. We will scale up our capability to extend without depreciating our capacity to streamline. We frequently transform intuitive development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2C2B, turn-key? Think mega-B2B.