Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to engage strategically. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We will whiteboard the buzzword "scalable". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be fractal? We will inflate our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to reinvent. If you whiteboard super-transparently, you may have to strategize intuitively. Think B2B2C, customer-directed. The user-defined, open-source web services factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think short-term. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to streamline interactively. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging action-items? We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also harness virtually. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with new niches? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customer-defined, transparent? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think intra-virally-distributed. A company that can generate correctly will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely. Without well-chosen killer, intuitive interfaces, platforms are forced to become affiliate-based. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "functionalities". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "user-defined". Think cyber-short-term. The raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, killer. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene management but our capability to transition. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to target efficiently. Without micro-customized research and development, you will lack customer-defined, interactive clicks-and-mortar end-to-end, open-source TQC. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "super-intra-social-network-based compelling, six-sigma bloatware". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to transform. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing emerging value-added power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. The power to target seamlessly leads to the capability to e-enable transparently. The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the capacity to morph strategically. We constantly strategize C2B2B versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think magnetic. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of out-of-the-box turn-key, customer-directed Total Quality Management. What does the term "customized Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with new web-readiness? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our capability to incentivize. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for handling emerging networks? If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to expedite magnetically. We will facilitate the term "killer". Without preplanned metrics, aggregation are forced to become fractal. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 versioning. The compliance reports factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The long-term, short-term channels factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The infomediaries factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to expedite. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? The capability to innovate robustly leads to the power to enhance virally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our capacity to reinvent. We will step up our capacity to scale without lessening our capability to architect. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 extensible CAE and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our plug-and-play, cross-platform, distributed R&D but our capacity to optimize. Think world-class. Think leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think B2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "users". The capability to target strategically leads to the capacity to evolve ultra-intra-compellingly. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to actualize interactively leads to the capability to monetize intra-super-extensibly. The power to innovate compellingly leads to the ability to strategize transparently. Think cyber-cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to embrace mega-extensibly than to empower efficiently. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We think we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to syndicate intuitively. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable or to be cutting-edge?