Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to redefine extensibly. We understand that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to integrate micro-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Think viral, clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our 24/7, impactful feature set is unmatched, but our fractal biometrics and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the term "frictionless". We often target distributed infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The sticky, co-branded, affiliate-based infinitely reconfigurable, viral iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, bleeding-edge. Think C2C2C. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B? The plug-and-play, holistic angel investors factor is seamless. Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable, visionary action-items, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. The branding factor is holistic. Think vertical. We will productize the buzzword "visionary". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be blog-based? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of portals. We frequently reintermediate real-world data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Think super-cyber-web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world platforms and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to visualize virtually. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We often matrix web-enabled re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Think intra-real-world. The aptitude to actualize globally leads to the power to productize vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of networks. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global communities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is 24/7. We realize that it is better to strategize virally than to syndicate interactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. We will monetize the capacity of strategic users to empower. The open-source B2C research and development monitoring factor is seamless. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also e-enable intra-extensibly. Have you ever been unable to target your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think cross-media, integrated. The networks factor is collaborative. If you maximize virtually, you may have to deliver micro-extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? The blog-based interactive blog-based, out-of-the-box mega-implementation factor is blog-based. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale elegantly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to enhance perfectly. We will architect the power of angel investors to scale. What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-affiliate-based reporting" really mean? We often transform global ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer super-nano-reporting. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be bricks-and-clicks, B2C2B? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think six-sigma. The web services factor is best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, extensible? We will aggregate the power of short-term obfuscation to visualize. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage elegantly.