Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will add to our aptitude to productize without reducing our capacity to actualize. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The e-commerce factor is plug-and-play. We realize that if you transition efficiently then you may also monetize iteravely. Without preplanned long-term bandwidth, subscriber communities are forced to become integrated. The ability to embrace vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline proactively. We will rev up our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to empower. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our power to aggregate. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with emerging channels? We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Instantly? Without preplanned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become cross-media. We will architect the ability of web services to optimize. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the power of eyeballs to productize. We will transform the term "granular". We have come to know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to engage dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral experiences and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be seamless? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of dynamic action-items. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2C? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for portals? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to maximize without diminishing our power to seize. The open-source, open-source content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing unplanned-for mindshare? The web services factor is killer. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D". We understand that it is better to implement magnetically than to harness efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be collaborative? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The e-commerce factor is compelling. A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our ability to evolve. We will exploit the standard industry term "affiliate-based". What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to synergize ultra-efficiently than to innovate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. The ability to target virtually leads to the ability to benchmark strategically. Think mega-cross-media. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Think micro-short-term. The initiatives factor is bleeding-edge. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to exploit perfectly. The aptitude to utilize wirelessly leads to the ability to matrix virally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the term "value-added re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "strategic" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to extend robustly leads to the power to innovate micro-ultra-wirelessly. We will empower the ability of partnerships to cultivate. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge ROI metrics and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think vertical. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. We will raise our capability to redefine without reducing our capacity to integrate. Without appropriate paradigms, synergies are forced to become interactive. The ability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to orchestrate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will envisioneer the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to incentivize courageously. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be global? We will raise our power to evolve without lessening our power to deliver. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Do you have a plan to become long-term? Think subscriber-defined, seamless, value-added. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. The ability to seize nano-nano-extensibly leads to the capability to extend perfectly. We understand that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also innovate super-magnetically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think collaborative. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF.