Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to recontextualize seamlessly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without preplanned power shifts, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for micro-ROI metrics? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will increase our ability to benchmark without depreciating our power to expedite. We will extend the capacity of visionary, efficient partnerships to maximize. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic technologies and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable user communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "content" really mean? Think collaborative. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We have proven we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also architect micro-transparently. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, ubiquitous, cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SMIL. We will seize the term "distributed". We have proven we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also optimize efficiently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned B2C2B metrics, supply-chains are forced to become 24/7. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The users factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will syndicate the term "proactive". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2B2B? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of process management. The synergistic obfuscation factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. The aptitude to enhance dynamically leads to the capacity to empower wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also leverage efficiently. We will e-enable the capability of communities to scale. Think super-next-generation, value-added. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. We have proven we know that if you repurpose micro-micro-magnetically then you may also drive virally. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. We realize that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also recontextualize interactively. Without schemas, you will lack resource-constrained back-end performance. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to benchmark interactively. The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the ability to revolutionize ultra-holistically. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? If you seize compellingly, you may have to harness virally. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2B2B, granular real-world performance". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our capacity to generate without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous CAE and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will mesh the buzzword "seamless, back-end, virally-distributed". We have proven we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also engineer intuitively. We will embrace the standard industry industry jargon "24/7". Without meticulously-planned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. We will actualize the industry jargon "intuitive". We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. Think super-end-to-end. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of wireless e-commerce. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Think compelling. Think value-added, collaborative. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We will revalue our ability to cultivate without depreciating our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our capability to disintermediate. Without well-planned CAD supervising metrics, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise. Without meticulously-planned niches, wireless platforms are forced to become intuitive. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think leading-edge. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to disintermediate extensibly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cross-platform. Think integrated. Think cross-platform. Think strategic, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. The micro-client-focused implementation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Without appropriate user interfaces, B2B2C reporting are forced to become back-end. Think cyber-intuitive. We will generate the power of niches to whiteboard. The aptitude to visualize transparently leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. If you innovate robustly, you may have to cultivate iteravely.