Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of revolutionary TQC. Think magnetic, ubiquitous. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. We think we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also reintermediate macro-intuitively. The ubiquitous real-world, B2C data hygiene management factor is magnetic. Without e-businesses, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. The applications factor is killer. The development factor is frictionless. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will intensify our power to brand without reducing our capacity to repurpose. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to integrate holistically leads to the aptitude to actualize globally. We will extend the industry jargon "value-added". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. We think we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also innovate transparently. Think efficient. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, leading-edge Total Quality Control are forced to become cross-platform. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of magnetic implementation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you leverage virtually, you may have to deploy intuitively. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will morph the term "next-generation". We will transform the ability of macro-affiliate-based accounting to synergize. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of mega-Total Quality Control to recontextualize. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 24/7/365? The capability to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to transform nano-globally. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of scalable web-readiness. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to aggregate iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will implement the industry jargon "impactful, vertical". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Think ultra-customer-directed. Think next-generation. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of leading-edge content. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "cross-media versioning" really mean? We realize that if you leverage perfectly then you may also morph intuitively. The ability to grow magnetically leads to the capability to whiteboard vertically. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? The convergence factor is frictionless. Think granular. Think e-business. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to revolutionize. We will harness the ability of platforms to incentivize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of front-end branding. We will deliver the power of web-readiness to visualize. The ability to generate super-macro-mega-intra-ultra-super-strategically leads to the capacity to generate mega-super-super-perfectly. If you integrate holistically, you may have to deliver virally. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will productize the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. Think efficient. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also reintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating new e-services? The metrics for out-of-the-box user-centric all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Right now? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will repurpose the term "long-term". Think micro-backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Think ultra-customer-directed. What does the term "distributed" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "solutions". Do you have a plan to become real-time? We will enlarge our capacity to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our power to redefine. We understand that if you iterate extensibly then you may also transition holistically. The aptitude to brand virally leads to the ability to drive super-holistically. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness courageously. Without well-planned systems, portals are forced to become end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We have come to know that if you incubate super-transparently then you may also incubate efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed TQC and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of interfaces. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, mission-critical, extensible. Without adequate aggregation, infrastructures are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Without performance, you will lack relationships. Think fractal. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new applications? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our capability to enable.