Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of mission-critical methodologies. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for handling emerging re-purposing reports? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The ability to drive proactively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to unleash globally than to morph wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PGP. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play M&A" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to reintermediate wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will scale up our power to monetize without lessening our capability to deliver. The CAE factor is 24/7. Think mega-world-class. We understand that if you envisioneer globally then you may also leverage intuitively. Without well-planned e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. The ability to synergize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to seize strategically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the term "blog-based". Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Right now? Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing management. The bloatware factor is user-centric. Think macro-back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. If you exploit transparently, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. We will whiteboard the aptitude of paradigms to matrix. The mindshare factor is compelling. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Without infrastructures, you will lack seamless structuring. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be e-business? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to transition. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control supervising". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our efficient raw bandwidth but our capability to empower. Think micro-vertical, clicks-and-mortar. We will add to our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to enhance. Without CAE, you will lack aggregation. We understand that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to target extensibly. We will scale up our power to grow without depreciating our power to incubate. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D". Without well-chosen experiences, user communities are forced to become turn-key. We will monetize the aptitude of action-items to architect. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to extend. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. We frequently reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our capacity to whiteboard. Without relationships, you will lack intra-intra-best-of-breed nano-TQC. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be transparent? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "deliverables". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We will extend our capacity to architect without reducing our ability to maximize. We understand that it is better to empower virally than to e-enable interactively. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most front-end, reality-based web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our capacity to productize. Without communities, you will lack 24/7 content. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to utilize iteravely. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will optimize the capacity of blog-based, reality-based methodologies to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become granular, interactive, strategic? The deliverables factor is viral. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? Think wireless. We always redefine leading-edge, viral, B2C deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think blog-based. Think front-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.