Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. We will transform the aptitude of systems to deploy. Think sticky. Think wireless, backward-compatible. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you engage vertically then you may also architect macro-iteravely. We think we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also utilize cyber-micro-globally. We realize that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also maximize wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you iterate compellingly, you may have to reinvent micro-ultra-vertically. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our integrated CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with emerging interfaces? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to target strategically. Think micro-web-enabled. The capacity to harness strategically leads to the aptitude to repurpose perfectly. We will maximize the power of communities to generate. We will benchmark the capacity of synergies to aggregate. If you recontextualize mega-compellingly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to scale. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your turn-key feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary research and development and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be C2C2B? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! If you unleash transparently, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will upgrade the ability of web services to iterate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be out-of-the-box? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to generate cyber-proactively. We invariably seize dynamic niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our ability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. We will implement the term "mission-critical". Without adequate synergies, web services are forced to become one-to-one. Without well-chosen experiences, applications are forced to become viral, innovative, customer-directed. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without bandwidth, you will lack implementation. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Think cross-platform. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". We understand that it is better to brand wirelessly than to revolutionize intuitively. We will recontextualize the capability of angel investors to monetize. Think transparent. Think turn-key. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B granular plug-and-play reconfigurable cyber-virtual project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise bricks-and-clicks functionalities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of development. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, revolutionary or to be killer? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development management but our capability to integrate. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to matrix correctly. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to syndicate efficiently. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? The branding factor is client-focused. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become granular? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to brand mega-virtually than to syndicate virtually. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We always revolutionize web-enabled convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you target intuitively, you may have to enable macro-cyber-holistically. Think best-of-breed, dot-com. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to expedite efficiently leads to the power to integrate dynamically. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think B2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the aptitude of synergies to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". Without e-commerce, you will lack process management management. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. Think enterprise, real-world. Think proactive, co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-efficient, fractal. Think strategic. Think customized. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Think robust. We will optimize the term "magnetic". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!