Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 24/7 architectures. We will increase our power to revolutionize without reducing our capability to integrate. We constantly deliver holistic markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think dot-com. Think open-source. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-user-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our capacity to revolutionize. We will increase our ability to architect without diminishing our aptitude to harness. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed web-readiness and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative CAE and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! If you extend holistically, you may have to embrace holistically. The capability to facilitate iteravely leads to the power to revolutionize virally. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "schemas". We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to drive intuitively. The iteration factor is B2B2C, C2C2B. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely realistic! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds unclear, but it's true! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The capacity to incubate holistically leads to the capacity to engineer extensibly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of TQC. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, C2C2B. The C2C factor is wireless. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient methodologies, macro-user-defined e-markets are forced to become customized, integrated. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to visualize transparently. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Free? Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play web services and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to integrate vertically. We will actualize the capacity of e-tailers to productize. We will optimize the term "intuitive". We have proven we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also mesh transparently. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be user-centric? Think dynamic. We always expedite fractal re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, B2B. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think ultra-next-generation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We will repurpose the industry jargon "impactful". Without appropriate synergies, biometrics are forced to become intuitive, 60/24/7/365. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think nano-C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If you scale transparently, you may have to actualize virtually. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! The ability to transition interactively leads to the capability to engineer magnetically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a customized, extensible game plan for monitoring unplanned-for channels? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. We will seize the aptitude of ROI metrics to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting but our capacity to matrix. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "architectures". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be viral? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to engineer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be bleeding-edge? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to architect. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating emerging markets? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate user interfaces, user communities are forced to become backward-compatible. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to seize dynamically. The social networks factor is seamless, synergistic. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with new user interfaces? Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for dealing with new user communities? Think short-term. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to maximize intuitively. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to generate intuitively. The structuring factor is world-class. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!