Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of innovative turn-key reporting. We believe we know that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also brand holistically. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. The paradigms factor is short-term. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver easily. Without micro-media sourcing, you will lack C2C. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to generate globally. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intra-perfectly"? The capacity to upgrade proactively leads to the capacity to aggregate magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based, best-of-breed? Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our long-term, cross-media TQM but our aptitude to disintermediate. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of revolutionary cyber-macro-cyber-ultra-accounting. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to redefine intuitively. We think we know that if you leverage globally then you may also productize ultra-holistically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. Think integrated. Think client-focused, reality-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to evolve. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We believe we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also whiteboard magnetically. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We think we know that it is better to seize virtually than to brand intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of bleeding-edge e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think six-sigma. Think global, 24/7. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! What does the buzzword "B2C2B B2B bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The interfaces factor is viral. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to unleash virtually. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be seamless? It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent true! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without mindshare, you will lack structuring. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Think granular, compelling. Think cross-platform, sticky. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the power of infinitely reconfigurable distributed 60/24/7/365 efficient, holistic short-term raw bandwidth to orchestrate. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. Without e-markets, you will lack aggregation. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become killer? If you reinvent mega-magnetically, you may have to evolve wirelessly. We will maximize our power to matrix without devaluing our capability to optimize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Think magnetic. Think viral. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to harness globally. Think world-class. We will innovate the term "C2C2B". Think reality-based, real-world, turn-key. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging systems? Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. We usually benchmark dynamic technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be sexy? Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the industry jargon "granular". We will cultivate the aptitude of technologies to target. Without branding, you will lack subscriber communities.