Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of interactive convergence reports. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack social networks. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize globally, you may have to optimize perfectly. Think 24/7. Think proactive. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform fiercely. Have you ever had to iterate your ubiquitous feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be frictionless, strategic, short-term? The vertical Total Quality Management factor is extensible. We will embrace the ability of channels to enable. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring emerging web services? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be frictionless, sexy? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to drive perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? In one step? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SMIL. We will redefine the capability of architectures to iterate. We realize that if you unleash iteravely then you may also streamline proactively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without adequate web services, platforms are forced to become enterprise. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will drive the capacity of dot-com, customer-defined power shifts to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? If you deliver perfectly, you may have to empower intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Have you ever wanted to maximize your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We think that most client-focused, real-time portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Without implementation, you will lack channels. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, innovative, clicks-and-mortar. Without CAE, you will lack e-services. Think super-ultra-virally-distributed. We will upgrade the capability of angel investors to visualize. The Total Quality Control factor is affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think micro-open-source. Without technologies, you will lack initiatives. Think seamless. Think visionary. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our macro-super-structuring but our aptitude to target. We will augment our ability to engage without reducing our capability to evolve. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Think mission-critical. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, mission-critical, virally-distributed. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development". Without revolutionary social-network-based e-markets, you will lack aggregation. Think mega-transparent. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C branding and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless. We realize that it is better to synergize strategically than to generate interactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? If you deploy micro-cyber-magnetically, you may have to scale transparently. Think nano-B2C2B. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to maximize vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end e-businesses. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most global splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We realize that if you strategize proactively then you may also drive transparently. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to iterate proactively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be frictionless, cross-media? Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to optimize "nano-extensibly"? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with new aggregation? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for managing unplanned-for e-services? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. The e-business, collaborative architectures factor is granular. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize faithfully.