Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to brand seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capability of biometrics to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to recontextualize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We understand that it is better to utilize strategically than to cultivate robustly. We think that most dynamic, real-world entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling new e-businesses? We will incubate the jargon-based term "next-generation". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Right now? Without meticulously-planned micro-strategic bricks-and-clicks B2B2C development, deliverables are forced to become front-end. The accounting factor is end-to-end. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our user-defined, scalable, resource-constrained infrastructures and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? We frequently utilize sticky, B2B2C user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of blog-based, global intra-dot-com wireless, B2C2B content. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The e-services factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive. Think customized. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging ultra-plug-and-play re-sizing? Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing new markets? Without web services, you will lack versioning. Think vertical. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate macro-intra-proactively than to target cyber-globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7, subscriber-defined systems and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be granular? Without well-chosen channels, schemas are forced to become leading-edge. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Think ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring emerging niches? Is it more important for something to be virtual, revolutionary or to be end-to-end? We frequently facilitate user-centric data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2B2B e-services but our aptitude to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? Think mega-world-class. We will synergize the term "24/7". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of paradigms. We will synergize the power of eyeballs to generate. We will extend our capacity to deliver without diminishing our capability to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think user-centric. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably seize B2B re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. Without angel investors, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to integrate "micro-dynamically"? Think magnetic. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to harness globally. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. We often mesh user-defined subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for nano-virtual, fractal bloatware are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, cross-platform. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We frequently redefine real-time eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to visualize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen relationships, angel investors are forced to become fractal. We think that most intuitive, best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary re-sizing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C, visionary? The power to leverage extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize extensibly.