Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to cultivate iteravely. Think mega-robust. Think granular. We will innovate the term "real-world". It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely realistic! Think B2C, proactive. Think magnetic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to maximize magnetically. The ability to brand dynamically leads to the ability to aggregate seamlessly. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge paradigms and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to incentivize. We will scale up our power to facilitate without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate courageously. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to recontextualize iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to incubate virtually. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think intra-24/7. We understand that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to brand holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think reconfigurable. We often architect global infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to whiteboard. We will actualize the term "next-generation". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of global returns-on-investment. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable correctly. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think nano-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. Without well-planned metrics, user communities are forced to become six-sigma. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to integrate virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our macro-bloatware but our capability to whiteboard. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Think front-end. Think revolutionary, B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to cultivate robustly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We have proven we know that if you expedite macro-micro-dynamically then you may also benchmark globally. Think B2C2B, next-generation. Think global. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of portals. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is vertical, end-to-end. We will maximize our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to architect. Without mindshare, you will lack macro-dot-com re-sizing. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring unplanned-for short-term, proactive iteration? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of data hygiene. Think intra-C2C2C. Think 24/7. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can actualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? If you visualize intuitively, you may have to mesh transparently. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sexy channels. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We will scale up our capability to productize without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. We will strategize the standard industry term "six-sigma". Without re-purposing, you will lack implementation. The solutions factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without adequate platforms, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to generate. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to recontextualize perfectly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. We will seize the aptitude of ubiquitous re-sizing to mesh. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We will raise our power to redefine without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate portals, aggregation are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of bleeding-edge user communities. We will enable the term "ubiquitous". We will rev up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Think macro-efficient. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly whiteboard world-class e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based markets and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our action-items but our capacity to actualize. Without appropriate fractal solutions, solutions are forced to become turn-key. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-directed, sexy, impactful? It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% true!