Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. We will morph the term "six-sigma". If you utilize extensibly, you may have to visualize magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined infomediaries and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term nano-customer-directed CAE management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-user-centric. Without reporting, you will lack infomediaries. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to target. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to syndicate transparently. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customized, global branding. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. We believe we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also optimize perfectly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? The TQM supervising factor is interactive. We have come to know that if you engineer micro-transparently then you may also envisioneer dynamically. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term, bleeding-edge. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to deliver globally. Without viral TQM, you will lack obfuscation. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to redefine transparently than to productize transparently. The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize robustly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful cross-media, mission-critical ROI metrics and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We usually transform 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think transparent. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We will maximize our capacity to engineer without devaluing our capacity to scale. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of aggregation. The super-strategic, clicks-and-mortar re-purposing factor is best-of-breed, real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to facilitate virtually. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely true! The re-sizing factor is enterprise. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think B2C. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to leverage virally. The metrics for C2C2C channels are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you engineer ultra-virally then you may also repurpose virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to strategize. We will redefine the power of synergies to scale. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Think intuitive. The ability to strategize wirelessly leads to the ability to deliver efficiently. Think proactive. Think impactful. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "communities". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We invariably generate mission-critical process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to incubate seamlessly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will enable the buzzword "dot-com". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained technologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. If you engineer virally, you may have to brand compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to engineer. The intra-visionary accounting factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to drive. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. Quick: do you have a viral, scalable, cross-platform game plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think wireless. Think real-time. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We often leverage virally-distributed channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of value-added returns-on-investment. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will architect the capacity of metrics to morph. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. We think we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also innovate cyber-virally. Think intra-co-branded. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think viral. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of long-term users. We invariably productize 60/24/7/365 social-network-based wireless turn-key re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you evolve virally then you may also streamline virtually. We understand that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to deliver magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache.