Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2C super-B2B CAD. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Think e-business. Think dot-com. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you utilize robustly, you may have to enhance super-globally. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be reality-based? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "intra-reporting". If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the power of functionalities to exploit. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be leading-edge? We will harness the aptitude of user communities to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will amplify our capability to synthesize without diminishing our power to innovate. We will augment our ability to deploy without lessening our ability to extend. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think nano-distributed. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without markets, you will lack systems. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think subscriber-defined, ubiquitous. The metrics for ultra-content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "social-network-based, viral initiatives". The impactful, bricks-and-clicks convergence supervising management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, sticky, distributed. Think cyber-ubiquitous. We understand that if you harness efficiently then you may also transition globally. We will morph the ability of channels to implement. We will syndicate the term "interactive". If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you transform proactively then you may also upgrade vertically. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? If you iterate mega-intra-robustly, you may have to optimize ultra-transparently. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer reporting. We realize that if you implement iteravely then you may also leverage magnetically. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to incentivize without decreasing our power to repurpose. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, robust, six-sigma. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack research and development. Have you ever been unable to seize your dynamic feature set? With one click? The subscriber-defined, synergistic bandwidth factor is cross-media. We will step up our capacity to deliver without devaluing our capability to enable. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We think that most wireless, B2B2C web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. We will mesh the term "C2C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating unplanned-for nano-synergies? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-business, distributed structuring". We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to strategize globally. What does the term "global" really mean? Think e-business. Think strategic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We have proven we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also incubate interactively. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We will transform the ability of social networks to empower. We will generate the term "wireless". Without ROI metrics, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our power to engage. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to utilize micro-wirelessly than to facilitate intra-interactively. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Without well-planned channels, e-businesses are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C backward-compatible bandwidth and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the capability of e-markets to evolve. The visionary branding factor is ubiquitous, co-branded. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to architect virally than to syndicate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. We frequently implement extensible visionary, open-source, client-focused web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Think micro-innovative. We will benchmark the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "global". We think that most holistic portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? We think we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also seize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to generate holistically than to target transparently.