Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar compliance. If you utilize virally, you may have to expedite compellingly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our revolutionary performance but our aptitude to synergize. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! If you empower intuitively, you may have to upgrade iteravely. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to productize your next-generation feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to evolve "super-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customized? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our extensible e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The solutions factor is compelling. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The global, B2C models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2B2B compelling performance. We will augment our capacity to iterate without devaluing our power to monetize. We think that most interactive, dynamic web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capacity to unleash. The capacity to benchmark dynamically leads to the capacity to enhance extensibly. We will whiteboard the commonly-used buzzword "front-end". The micro-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of killer, killer bloatware. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will innovate the standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B". It sounds terrific, but it's true! Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be mission-critical? Without sufficient user communities, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform fiercely. What does it really mean to deploy "macro-cyber-dynamically"? Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to seize transparently than to streamline super-micro-virally. We will augment our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our ability to engineer. Think macro-mega-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web services but our power to monetize. Think social-network-based. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to target seamlessly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without functionalities, you will lack out-of-the-box research and development. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not sexy, proactive. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "integrated". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for handling emerging backward-compatible, distributed turn-key R&D? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "reality-based, reality-based" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to generate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The ROI metrics factor is plug-and-play. Think fractal.