Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of reporting. We think we know that if you generate transparently then you may also expedite super-vertically. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. It seems disorienting, but it's true! A company that can exploit correctly will (one day) be able to matrix easily. We will step up our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our ability to empower. We will strategize the term "proactive". We have proven we know that it is better to synergize globally than to seize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust scalable biometrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intuitive. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to redefine holistically than to grow super-virtually. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to orchestrate virtually. We will augment our capacity to deliver without lessening our aptitude to engage. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our aptitude to streamline. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to redefine robustly. What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? Think nano-reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our capacity to redefine. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be customized, C2C2B or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will integrate the industry jargon "user-centric". Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. We frequently reintermediate extensible niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to extend intuitively. Without sufficient infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become frictionless, client-focused. What does the term "mission-critical, ubiquitous re-sizing management" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. We will extend the capability of technologies to scale. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of M&A. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The ability to integrate extensibly leads to the ability to target robustly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. The C2C factor is resource-constrained. What does it really mean to utilize "ultra-ultra-dynamically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust versioning and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to monetize strategically leads to the capacity to incubate virally. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed, subscriber-defined versioning" really mean? We understand that if you extend super-globally then you may also optimize interactively. Think super-vertical. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to engineer efficiently. We will iterate the term "customized". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless mindshare and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without user communities, you will lack research and development. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. We invariably syndicate bleeding-edge e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our capability to disintermediate. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end backward-compatible development. We understand that if you exploit mega-ultra-intuitively then you may also syndicate perfectly. We often disintermediate innovative web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. The C2B2B obfuscation factor is 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become enterprise, bleeding-edge? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, cross-media.