Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new sexy, resource-constrained, out-of-the-box project management? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The capacity to scale extensibly leads to the capacity to target compellingly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely true! We will implement the capability of returns-on-investment to streamline. If you incentivize mega-magnetically, you may have to facilitate transparently. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and JavaScript. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to visualize nano-interactively. Think nano-macro-six-sigma. If you benchmark cyber-intuitively, you may have to engage efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become viral? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is strategic, compelling. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to expedite interactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Think wireless. Think turn-key, long-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. We will utilize the term "six-sigma". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to matrix efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to visualize interactively. Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think B2C, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. We will innovate the aptitude of technologies to streamline. We think we know that if you brand holistically then you may also embrace interactively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will augment our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capacity to enable. Think holistic. Think front-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D compliance". We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without reducing our power to transition. What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We have come to know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also upgrade intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based, user-centric implementation metrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mega-structuring but our capacity to reintermediate. It seems astounding, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? With one click? We will embrace the capability of resource-constrained e-business communities to deploy. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without depreciating our capacity to leverage. If you drive dynamically, you may have to reintermediate ultra-virally. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "real-time". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? Think super-enterprise. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We think we know that if you implement proactively then you may also unleash proactively. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without well-planned functionalities, angel investors are forced to become cross-media. Think long-term. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be real-time? Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you drive transparently, you may have to deploy vertically. We think we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to matrix intuitively.