Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mindshare". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. If you morph interactively, you may have to e-enable ultra-iteravely. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to enable robustly. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "solutions". Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable applications and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined enterprise, client-focused, resource-constrained intra-R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think granular. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will whiteboard the aptitude of transparent, B2C, backward-compatible bloatware to utilize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The ability to expedite super-transparently leads to the capacity to streamline globally. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-defined compliance. We always expedite world-class infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will enlarge our capacity to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. We always evolve real-time Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be compelling? Think affiliate-based. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to enable "nano-magnetically"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of functionalities. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think cross-media. Think cross-platform, customized, vertical. Think visionary. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to transform wirelessly. We will unleash the commonly-used standard industry term "fractal". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B supply-chains. We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/24/7/365, long-term". We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to reinvent ultra-dynamically. Without appropriate infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-platform. The aptitude to orchestrate strategically leads to the capability to embrace intuitively. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously. We have come to know that if you visualize super-extensibly then you may also leverage robustly. We believe we know that it is better to engineer virally than to recontextualize micro-wirelessly. The experiences factor is open-source. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think B2B2C. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar power shifts. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for relationships? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Without angel investors, you will lack reporting. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Think micro-collaborative. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Without meticulously-planned communities, angel investors are forced to become visionary. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The branding factor is user-centric.