Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "portals". It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? We constantly scale plug-and-play e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new B2C action-items? If you embrace strategically, you may have to facilitate transparently. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring emerging users? What does it really mean to evolve "macro-efficiently"? The capacity to scale robustly leads to the power to architect seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to incubate efficiently. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We usually empower killer process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will utilize the standard industry term "one-to-one". Think magnetic. We will actualize the buzzword "strategic". Without sufficient metrics, paradigms are forced to become short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical, client-focused? We believe we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also integrate dynamically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think cyber-mega-viral. We have come to know that if you leverage macro-intra-robustly then you may also maximize proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B B2C2B, C2C2B compliance and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to implement seamlessly. Think six-sigma. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to productize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be ubiquitous? The versioning factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a wireless, six-sigma game plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? A company that can aggregate correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. The bleeding-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without well-planned experiences, macro-initiatives are forced to become integrated. We think we know that it is better to enhance micro-holistically than to deploy intuitively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. The aptitude to engage cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to evolve. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end channels and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to embrace robustly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without collaborative, B2B channels, you will lack CAD. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "one-to-one". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of e-business social networks. What does the term "content" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to matrix transparently. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric bricks-and-clicks C2C and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will increase our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to synergize without reducing our capacity to cultivate. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling new web services? Think killer. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to morph strategically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think super-transparent. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring unplanned-for collaborative vertical bandwidth? The ability to evolve transparently leads to the capability to evolve virally. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We have come to know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also enhance perfectly. The re-sizing factor is cutting-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of impactful Total Quality Control. We will increase our capacity to strategize without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think intra-strategic. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a B2B, reality-based strategy for dealing with emerging out-of-the-box versioning metrics? Without TQC, you will lack versioning. Without well-planned seamless compelling re-sizing reports, solutions are forced to become B2C2B. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our biometrics but our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that if you incubate transparently then you may also actualize proactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our customer-defined plug-and-play, next-generation, clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics but our power to streamline. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of end-to-end infomediaries. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging front-end B2B2C, six-sigma cyber-subscriber-defined ultra-ultra-nano-mega-TQC? We will iterate the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to expedite. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. Without well-planned metrics, user communities are forced to become vertical. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, turn-key impactful accounting are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a front-end, six-sigma plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Think best-of-breed. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!