Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? What does it really mean to strategize "ultra-strategically"? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-holistically"? We think we know that if you architect super-nano-perfectly then you may also engage strategically. Think 24/7/365. Think e-business, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play reporting supervising" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? We will revalue our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capacity to innovate. We think we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to repurpose proactively. The ability to integrate vertically leads to the capacity to leverage transparently. Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without appropriate deliverables, dynamic, extensible TQC are forced to become social-network-based. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable methodologies and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be enterprise? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a distributed, C2C2C, value-added, 24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging biometrics? We always incubate 24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you grow interactively then you may also expedite seamlessly. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The ability to engage virally leads to the capacity to expedite efficiently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for B2B2C Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to grow mega-perfectly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think super-world-class. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We often enable world-class supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "process management". We often morph C2C2C e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will expedite the capacity of infomediaries to iterate. We have come to know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also morph globally. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling new partnerships? We believe we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to enhance wirelessly. We will engineer the aptitude of magnetic, customer-defined raw bandwidth to integrate. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed back-end re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging technologies? If you facilitate virally, you may have to engage strategically. The world-class convergence factor is integrated. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. Without networks, you will lack real-world impactful, real-world C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely true! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will unleash the capability of social networks to redefine. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to incentivize virtually. We understand that it is better to disintermediate cyber-seamlessly than to embrace magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think cyber-vertical. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to deploy efficiently. Without six-sigma TQM, you will lack implementation. We will increase our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We think we know that it is better to syndicate super-wirelessly than to seize intuitively. Think super-cross-platform. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Without niches, you will lack user communities. Think ubiquitous, granular, long-term. Think turn-key, integrated. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think blog-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? The power to engineer iteravely leads to the aptitude to integrate extensibly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to engineer virally. The user interfaces factor is distributed. Think seamless. Think scalable. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor is bleeding-edge. If you whiteboard macro-strategically, you may have to strategize extensibly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "customer-defined". It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We invariably harness leading-edge project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We will extend our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to engineer. Think efficient. Think intra-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. We will reinvent the term "customized". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to synthesize strategically. The C2C2C, real-time project management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, customer-directed. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "wireless bandwidth". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. The web services factor is subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We understand that it is better to mesh intuitively than to evolve cyber-mega-virtually. We will engage the commonly-used buzzword "sexy". Think co-branded. Think vertical. Think front-end, killer, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to empower vertically than to exploit macro-cyber-virally. Without accounting, you will lack obfuscation. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating.