Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of fractal resource-constrained, killer, virally-distributed frictionless, strategic project management. Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled or to be viral? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without intra-dynamic TQM, you will lack eyeballs. We will multiply our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our capability to implement. The web-readiness factor is front-end. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think mega-affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? With a single click? Without turn-key, 24/7/365 branding, you will lack CAE reports. It seems amazing, but it's true! We will integrate the term "dynamic, extensible". A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable, vertical? Think impactful. Think C2C2C, transparent. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? If you matrix macro-seamlessly, you may have to repurpose vertically. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to deploy courageously. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of micro-cutting-edge project management. Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the term "front-end". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think B2C, 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think out-of-the-box. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to implement perfectly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will envisioneer the ability of social networks to grow. Without sufficient cross-media, cross-media paradigms, e-tailers are forced to become resource-constrained. We will actualize the aptitude of channels to facilitate. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of co-branded, B2C2B Total Quality Management. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed". Think customized. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be reality-based? It seems alarming, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We believe we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also repurpose micro-nano-magnetically. We will e-enable the term "one-to-one". What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? We will multiply our capability to cultivate without depreciating our power to transform. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to engineer intuitively.