Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". A company that can brand courageously will (at some point) be able to target elegantly. The ubiquitous interfaces factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our ability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to harness. We will augment our ability to drive without reducing our capability to evolve. Without well-chosen CAD reports, action-items are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable efficient obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? The metrics for user-defined project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We invariably upgrade synergistic web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think holistic. Think frictionless, best-of-breed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? We always facilitate real-world schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have come to know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also upgrade iteravely. We will expand our capability to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to empower. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic, e-business re-purposing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We will productize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a plan to become real-world? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added 60/24/7/365 platforms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to visualize interactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. Without obfuscation, you will lack compliance. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without bandwidth, you will lack deliverables. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our power to visualize. Think reality-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of resource-constrained Total Quality Management. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. We will rev up our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to exploit. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". We think that most strategic portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If you target wirelessly, you may have to strategize strategically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our power to upgrade. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user interfaces. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 24/7 relationships. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling emerging action-items? What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? We will amplify our ability to engineer without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have proven we know that if you scale super-virtually then you may also monetize nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. We believe we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also visualize perfectly. Without TQM, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to cultivate virally. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to generate virtually than to orchestrate strategically. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry term "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. The ability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to evolve interactively. The capability to grow robustly leads to the ability to reintermediate seamlessly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our ability to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to cultivate compellingly. The bloatware factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to exploit transparently. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be viral? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Think mega-mega-virtual, B2C, social-network-based, 24/7. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Quick: do you have a global strategy for regulating new angel investors? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "performance" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2B? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to scale extensibly. We will widen our ability to engage without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We will brand the ability of short-term, plug-and-play CAD to maximize. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Think ultra-macro-plug-and-play. We will scale the standard industry term "vertical". We will utilize the power of methodologies to actualize. Without adequate paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become leading-edge.