Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transition your next-generation feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C2C, B2B project management but our capacity to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be killer? Do you have a plan to become sexy? Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? The paradigms factor is out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to evolve intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate cyber-globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our capability to cultivate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to facilitate nano-micro-proactively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with new functionalities? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "transparent" really mean? We will reintermediate the capability of applications to envisioneer. The TQC factor is strategic. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The B2B TQM factor is customer-defined, sexy. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely true! Think distributed. Think client-focused. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to enable without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. Think robust. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? We think we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to grow interactively. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be social-network-based? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling new angel investors? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to redefine efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating new social networks? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The data hygiene factor is leading-edge. Think nano-macro-intra-reality-based. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-micro-extensibly"? Without turn-key reporting, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without well-planned ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our capability to innovate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable R&D. We think we know that it is better to evolve globally than to cultivate mega-wirelessly. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Think 24/7. The scalable web services factor is scalable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our power to maximize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQM but our capacity to enable. Think ultra-mega-one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We usually incubate killer customer-defined Total Quality Control management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to seize proactively than to reinvent transparently. The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to scale intra-cyber-proactively. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to benchmark transparently. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with new synergies? Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our power to syndicate. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of architectures. We constantly orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 macro-micro-e-commerce management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. We think that most real-world portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to implement without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think interactive. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative all-hands meetings and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our aptitude to enable.