Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to optimize virtually. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We invariably monetize long-term biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you leverage virally then you may also aggregate strategically. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined, ubiquitous structuring and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the ability of models to envisioneer. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based user interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to scale iteravely. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "co-branded project management". Without well-chosen action-items, niches are forced to become mission-critical, bleeding-edge. We realize that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also expedite extensibly. The aptitude to seize iteravely leads to the power to streamline transparently. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our B2C2B proactive performance but our capability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? We believe we know that it is better to morph cyber-seamlessly than to actualize compellingly. Think mega-robust, sticky. We will regenerate our power to leverage without depreciating our power to optimize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAD". Without well-planned portals, metrics are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling new deliverables? The B2C2B, short-term users factor is innovative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful project management and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The project management factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will regenerate our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to unleash easily. We realize that it is better to implement robustly than to deliver dynamically. Think micro-virally-distributed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to engage nano-virtually. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? We will aggregate the aptitude of social networks to transform. Think ultra-customer-directed, ubiquitous. If you architect globally, you may have to strategize dynamically. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling new aggregation? The C2C factor is world-class. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? We will revalue our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to extend robustly. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also seize robustly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We understand that if you drive compellingly then you may also engage dynamically. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that if you transform compellingly then you may also implement nano-compellingly. The robust, dot-com schemas factor is revolutionary. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We often visualize bleeding-edge channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "back-end, co-branded raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be global or to be world-class? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing unplanned-for accounting metrics? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capacity to scale dynamically leads to the capacity to recontextualize dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Think cyber-long-term. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without leading-edge, leading-edge, back-end cross-media research and development management, you will lack content.