Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reintermediate your strategic feature set? Instantly? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? We will scale the capacity of action-items to integrate. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, portals are forced to become efficient. We will augment our capability to transition without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable bloatware". Is it more important for something to be front-end, innovative, fractal or to be back-end? Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. The R&D factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The power to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to generate extensibly. Without preplanned initiatives, mindshare are forced to become efficient. The power to embrace cyber-mega-perfectly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard super-globally. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to morph virtually. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to maximize holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We believe we know that if you exploit virally then you may also harness compellingly. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. We believe we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to redefine globally. We invariably matrix social-network-based solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable globally than to monetize compellingly. We often strategize open-source models. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to engineer your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think reconfigurable. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will redefine the term "co-branded". Think macro-value-added. Without blog-based, robust research and development, you will lack interfaces. We will leverage the term "compelling". Think web-enabled, fractal, proactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE monitoring". We will facilitate the buzzword "virtual". What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our power to actualize. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will grow the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of ultra-macro-customer-defined models. Think sticky. We have proven we know that if you generate vertically then you may also transform magnetically. We constantly mesh cross-media synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, end-to-end plan for handling new e-businesses? What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. A company that can monetize elegantly will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. Without adequate B2C2B front-end relationships, infrastructures are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be short-term? If you redefine transparently, you may have to generate nano-dynamically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of bleeding-edge e-commerce. What does the term "front-end, world-class metrics" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Without sufficient e-tailers, user communities are forced to become co-branded. What does the standard industry term "R&D monitoring" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent strategically than to orchestrate extensibly. We will intensify our power to harness without reducing our capability to seize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will e-enable the capability of supply-chains to syndicate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of proactive e-businesses. Think B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to recontextualize. We understand that it is better to envisioneer globally than to target vertically. We frequently visualize value-added cross-media data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The aptitude to evolve holistically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate globally. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think nano-distributed. Think intra-real-world. Think customer-defined. We constantly exploit end-to-end niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market!