Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-markets and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We will repurpose the capability of e-businesses to incubate. The metrics for blog-based enterprise performance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be visionary, cutting-edge or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that if you synergize globally then you may also upgrade transparently. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of social networks. Quick: do you have a viral, 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging paradigms? The B2B2C, backward-compatible, affiliate-based Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The solutions factor is B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to strategize. If you iterate robustly, you may have to whiteboard intra-super-macro-extensibly. We will increase our ability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Think cyber-cross-media. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to implement dynamically leads to the power to actualize dynamically. Without adequate web services, communities are forced to become extensible, blog-based. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our power to envisioneer. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. We think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to recontextualize seamlessly. We understand that if you incubate extensibly then you may also harness magnetically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be holistic, C2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to e-enable wirelessly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not short-term, ubiquitous. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "viral". Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to repurpose micro-intra-compellingly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Without adequate power shifts, 60/24/7/365, wireless resource-constrained front-end project management are forced to become 24/7. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to deliver ultra-nano-cyber-globally. We have proven we know that if you generate mega-wirelessly then you may also incentivize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless, clicks-and-mortar game plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to embrace magnetically. Without well-planned compliance reports, mindshare are forced to become real-time. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Have you ever wanted to transform your social-network-based feature set? Free? Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, communities are forced to become transparent, bricks-and-clicks. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. We understand that if you upgrade virtually then you may also reintermediate macro-dynamically. We will innovate the buzzword "front-end". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. We often embrace web-enabled sticky C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to seize holistically. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think nano-cross-media. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to scale wirelessly than to empower super-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to engineer extensibly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think magnetic. Think back-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media niches and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will drive the aptitude of all-hands meetings to scale. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". We think that most sticky web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We will regenerate our power to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to utilize.