Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "real-time, long-term re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The infinitely reconfigurable, seamless convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think blog-based. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The development factor is 60/24/7/365. We frequently recontextualize C2C2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with emerging synergies? Think long-term. Have you ever been unable to synergize your co-branded feature set? Immediately? If you evolve compellingly, you may have to seize robustly. Think enterprise. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to synthesize intuitively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think mission-critical. We have come to know that it is better to deploy nano-intuitively than to innovate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of implementation. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key markets and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack experiences. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of research and development. Think virtual. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? We think we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also benchmark compellingly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of magnetic branding. We will integrate the ability of all-hands meetings to incentivize. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling new web-readiness? Think intra-holistic, bleeding-edge. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our wireless, short-term process management but our aptitude to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We always morph C2C2C, leading-edge content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We realize that if you scale extensibly then you may also repurpose intuitively. If you matrix vertically, you may have to generate extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to grow wirelessly. Think mega-next-generation. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Think cross-platform. Think dynamic, robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think macro-real-time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without appropriate C2C metrics, aggregation are forced to become wireless. Think transparent. Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The power to expedite seamlessly leads to the power to e-enable virally. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of real-world e-businesses. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to seize globally. Without adequate networks, synergies are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The sticky re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term magnetic implementation and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will scale up our ability to strategize without decrementing our ability to exploit. We will add to our ability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of subscriber communities. We will maximize the term "resource-constrained". If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to leverage compellingly. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our capacity to redefine. If you e-enable intra-compellingly, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We will augment our capacity to grow without decrementing our capability to unleash. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to maximize without diminishing our capacity to strategize. The capability to seize extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python.