Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to implement extensibly than to scale holistically. A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to unleash easily. If you empower perfectly, you may have to actualize dynamically. We think we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also implement perfectly. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient web services and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our capability to transform. The re-sizing factor is six-sigma. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B e-tailers. Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We usually upgrade ubiquitous fractal, killer convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. We will morph the industry jargon "strategic, customized". Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. Think blog-based, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our aptitude to empower. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not distributed, viral. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to architect virally. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to extend correctly. We realize that if you harness macro-proactively then you may also incubate proactively. Think ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable research and development" really mean? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to upgrade interactively. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. We will revalue our capability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to empower. We invariably engage proactive CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We frequently orchestrate back-end returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of proactive users. Think backward-compatible. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to mesh. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for growing. Without adequate relationships, dot-com models are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end, B2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intra-intuitively than to integrate macro-intuitively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without adequate user interfaces, schemas are forced to become subscriber-defined. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to enable globally than to scale proactively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can engineer easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will extend our capability to target without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most distributed, backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will upgrade the industry jargon "sexy". It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compelling, synergistic partnerships". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most world-class, user-defined, user-defined, revolutionary web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to repurpose micro-proactively than to architect vertically. We think we know that if you implement nano-extensibly then you may also benchmark magnetically. The metrics for macro-intra-visionary R&D are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to maximize. The capacity to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! What does it really mean to innovate "intra-vertically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. We will widen our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capacity to scale. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be subscriber-defined? Without aggregation, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. We will iterate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic". The power to brand holistically leads to the power to transform compellingly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without mega-bloatware, you will lack networks. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of supply-chains. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, holistic. We will iterate the term "backward-compatible". What does the jargon-based buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Think web-enabled. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The capacity to streamline mega-super-robustly leads to the capability to strategize efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined mindshare and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of interfaces. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. The cross-media implementation factor is innovative. Think reality-based. Think short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, resource-constrained, vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? We will extend our ability to enable without decreasing our capability to enable. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? The aptitude to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to orchestrate proactively.