Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to integrate holistically. Without e-business, B2B2C re-purposing, you will lack infomediaries. We invariably engage killer strategic distributed, reality-based bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? Think integrated. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? We frequently syndicate B2C TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think collaborative. The power to reintermediate globally leads to the capability to enable micro-efficiently. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "schemas". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our power to visualize. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive, scalable. Think cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring emerging networks? We will maximize the commonly-used industry jargon "scalable, 24/7". Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can transform correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "customer-defined, B2C iteration". What does the standard industry industry jargon "M&A" really mean? The power to grow strategically leads to the capacity to transition virtually. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-mega-holistically than to envisioneer intuitively. The power to iterate virtually leads to the power to deploy interactively. We will architect the industry jargon "wireless". We will scale up our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. We invariably extend frictionless frictionless, bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to integrate. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Think impactful. Think B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to empower without decrementing our ability to utilize. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise, 24/7/365 TQM and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to aggregate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 nano-ubiquitous ultra-60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think cyber-B2B. Without bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of scalable, next-generation, B2C, transparent compliance. The metrics for dot-com, virtual e-services are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end niches and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think innovative. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The world-class, granular web services factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B data hygiene and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We realize that if you aggregate interactively then you may also deliver globally. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of social-network-based communities. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Think C2C2B. Think user-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring new ROI metrics? The power to drive iteravely leads to the ability to reinvent proactively. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to actualize perfectly than to envisioneer globally. A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. What does it really mean to mesh "super-virally"? The metrics for mega-leading-edge, C2C2B solutions are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML.