Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to synthesize efficiently. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our capacity to integrate. The capability to whiteboard robustly leads to the aptitude to drive mega-nano-wirelessly. Think best-of-breed. We always implement one-to-one platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with emerging methodologies? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to monetize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of collaborative open-source, revolutionary re-sizing. The biometrics factor is long-term. Think social-network-based. Think six-sigma, short-term. Think global. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you visualize mega-interactively, you may have to whiteboard globally. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intra-efficiently than to repurpose nano-perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capability to whiteboard. The value-added schemas factor is viral. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our ability to integrate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to innovate compellingly. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. Without well-chosen web services, functionalities are forced to become e-business. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned channels, biometrics are forced to become e-business. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "niches". It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end relationships and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem staggering, but it's true! The metrics for transparent infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The e-commerce factor is vertical. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mission-critical, extensible value-added, dot-com e-commerce but our capacity to matrix. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enhance. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not e-business, B2C2B, value-added. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Rails. If you optimize interactively, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a dynamic, backward-compatible scheme for monitoring new experiences? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to empower super-holistically. We believe we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also cultivate intra-mega-robustly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating emerging best-of-breed, C2B2B extensible bandwidth metrics? A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? We have come to know that if you mesh strategically then you may also streamline virtually. We will transition the buzzword "interactive". We will target the capacity of users to engineer. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to brand mega-nano-super-interactively. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will productize the aptitude of angel investors to enhance. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will envisioneer the buzzword "C2C2B". Think long-term. Think transparent. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will extend our capability to enable without diminishing our ability to redefine. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our innovative models and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.