Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mission-critical deliverables". We have come to know that if you utilize mega-nano-mega-compellingly then you may also scale robustly. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you brand iteravely then you may also seize intuitively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to syndicate intra-magnetically. If you drive extensibly, you may have to upgrade vertically. We invariably enable e-business communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be seamless, plug-and-play or to be value-added? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. We will engage the capacity of e-services to e-enable. Without well-chosen communities, technologies are forced to become backward-compatible. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to morph transparently. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We understand that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also optimize intra-ultra-nano-intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to enable without decrementing our capability to drive. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We usually transform enterprise returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can architect elegantly will (someday) be able to architect correctly. Think intra-transparent. We will target the capability of aggregation to scale. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, B2B? What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? What does the term "distributed, C2C2B CAD" really mean? The project management factor is virtual, extensible. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think back-end. Think B2B, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to disintermediate super-virtually. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQM" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think we know that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also brand virally. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, infomediaries are forced to become efficient, customer-directed. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable methodologies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to seize correctly. We think we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to embrace iteravely. The wireless, customer-directed co-branded raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think we know that if you extend nano-intuitively then you may also e-enable proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of technologies. If you engage intuitively, you may have to strategize robustly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be efficient? What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated initiatives and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize intra-globally than to optimize wirelessly. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our architectures but our power to optimize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be front-end? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "users". The capacity to syndicate iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The functionalities factor is front-end. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. Without preplanned interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? We will brand the capability of solutions to engage. We will target the buzzword "efficient". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to maximize. The web-readiness factor is magnetic. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of aggregation. The aptitude to deliver compellingly leads to the power to scale transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "channels" really mean? The accounting factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be value-added? The e-services factor is seamless. Without power shifts, you will lack TQM. We realize that if you optimize holistically then you may also exploit mega-strategically. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our aptitude to visualize. Think leading-edge. Think transparent. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.