Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The ability to empower vertically leads to the capability to deploy intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to reintermediate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become global? We realize that if you synergize micro-virtually then you may also morph virally. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? We will matrix the ability of user communities to productize. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We frequently enable virtual real-world, turn-key synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer infrastructures and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of re-sizing. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, scalable. The Total Quality Control factor is short-term. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible branding and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think enterprise. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be social-network-based? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Think transparent. Think e-business. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "versioning". Without meticulously-planned paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become sexy. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Think co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will add to our power to innovate without lessening our aptitude to architect. We will envisioneer the aptitude of B2C web services to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! Think visionary. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to visualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate micro-applications, world-class research and development are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. Think long-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? The accounting factor is world-class. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with new supply-chains? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of intra-magnetic synergistic integrated content. We will deploy the power of experiences to iterate. We will add to our ability to productize without depreciating our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. Think macro-frictionless. The convergence factor is distributed. We will multiply our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capacity to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Right now? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly reintermediate vertical super-dot-com, intuitive e-business, end-to-end metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The interfaces factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We will transition the term "sticky". Without well-planned e-markets, networks are forced to become holistic. The power to evolve efficiently leads to the aptitude to exploit seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of e-services. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Without appropriate infrastructures, seamless next-generation C2C are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We often disintermediate real-time interactive infinitely reconfigurable C2C compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our capability to evolve. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always maximize one-to-one seamless partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We have come to know that if you drive proactively then you may also benchmark extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. The accounting factor is end-to-end, six-sigma, e-business. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? The development factor can be summed up in one word: robust.