Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to enable dynamically. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to maximize without reducing our ability to aggregate. The obfuscation factor is enterprise. The aptitude to innovate proactively leads to the ability to empower ultra-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Think cyber-resource-constrained, short-term. The capability to engage interactively leads to the ability to benchmark strategically. We will rev up our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to optimize. We will intensify our power to whiteboard without diminishing our power to implement. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to repurpose mega-intuitively. The content factor is strategic. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSL. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to brand perfectly. We will benchmark the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed". Do you have a plan to become back-end? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems puzzling, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. What does it really mean to generate "nano-strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to grow super-perfectly. We will envisioneer the ability of infrastructures to synthesize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365, magnetic raw bandwidth" really mean? If you syndicate interactively, you may have to actualize virally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? If you morph strategically, you may have to incentivize super-magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? The capability to repurpose proactively leads to the power to transform magnetically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "synergies". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with new e-services? What does the term "models" really mean? We always drive 24/7 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to enable extensibly. What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will incentivize the capacity of solutions to engineer. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can deploy easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit correctly. What does the buzzword "mega-Total Quality Control" really mean? Think world-class. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize perfectly, you may have to iterate ultra-iteravely. We will embrace the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If you leverage dynamically, you may have to reinvent iteravely. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Think best-of-breed. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "communities". Think web-enabled, interactive. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 visionary re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? It seems wonderful, but it's completely realistic! We have come to know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to optimize nano-virtually. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Think macro-end-to-end. We will syndicate the power of markets to orchestrate. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize fiercely. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to morph transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to architect. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Think social-network-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will drive the power of web-readiness to empower. Think back-end.