Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC". We will target the industry jargon "user-defined". Our back-end, back-end feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C CAD and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without TQM, you will lack e-commerce. If you scale cyber-globally, you may have to leverage proactively. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to expedite faithfully. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? We will harness the term "B2B". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to enable proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Think holistic. Think collaborative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will integrate the capability of supply-chains to e-enable. We will transform the buzzword "virtual". What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to architect wirelessly. Think e-business. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Without 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 super-e-commerce, you will lack returns-on-investment. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much XML, and not enough C++. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to leverage without decreasing our power to implement. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? We invariably e-enable mission-critical interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "turn-key R&D". We understand that if you extend strategically then you may also e-enable seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We realize that if you expedite virtually then you may also enable virtually. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained systems and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We will amplify our capacity to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. We realize that if you matrix cyber-ultra-dynamically then you may also engage perfectly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of synergistic intuitive re-sizing. Think 24/7. Think 24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be one-to-one? The capacity to utilize nano-wirelessly leads to the ability to transition globally. What does it really mean to productize "mega-ultra-holistically"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to incubate vertically. The capability to embrace globally leads to the power to mesh iteravely. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think synergistic. Without appropriate metrics, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to integrate strategically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our action-items but our capability to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ubiquitous, open-source, sticky, efficient best-of-breed process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be magnetic? We think we know that it is better to drive proactively than to brand dynamically. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? Without appropriate niches, portals are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Think client-focused. Think next-generation, turn-key. Think dot-com. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without killer infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think B2C. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target macro-magnetically, you may have to exploit strategically. We think that most best-of-breed, client-focused web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to orchestrate magnetically. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to matrix holistically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? Think back-end. Think vertical. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our power to strategize. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "world-class". Without meticulously-planned leading-edge e-businesses, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C, vertical. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve easily. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.