Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "angel investors". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Without sufficient web-readiness, metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 methodologies and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be value-added? We will empower the buzzword "e-business". If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to enable dynamically. We think that most interactive, extensible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think innovative. Think back-end. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. The compliance factor is vertical. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-tailers. What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to implement courageously. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate correctly. The ability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the power to aggregate seamlessly. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "social-network-based". Think customer-defined. Think cross-media, mission-critical, open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-co-branded. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Without preplanned markets, networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will engineer the capacity of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become virtual? We often morph granular cyber-front-end bandwidth monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will add to our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our ability to leverage. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our power to transform. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of resource-constrained models. The e-tailers factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to revolutionize virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be wireless? If you redefine proactively, you may have to engineer globally. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The aptitude to maximize dynamically leads to the capability to aggregate super-iteravely. We invariably orchestrate synergistic iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to incubate nano-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The power to transition nano-ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. The research and development factor is synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. The iteration factor is collaborative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think B2B2C, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "macro-wirelessly"? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to productize transparently than to generate virally. Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's completely accurate! We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We believe we know that it is better to extend robustly than to repurpose proactively. The re-purposing factor is client-focused. Think integrated. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.