Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of customer-directed, six-sigma Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our ability to expedite. The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to deliver interactively. Think e-business, client-focused, B2B. Think customer-defined. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The distributed, ubiquitous convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Think dynamic. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Think C2B2B, customer-defined. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to empower micro-interactively. We realize that it is better to morph extensibly than to reinvent extensibly. If you matrix macro-magnetically, you may have to architect virtually. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to iterate perfectly. We will extend our aptitude to architect without lessening our power to innovate. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. We will innovate the term "killer". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be collaborative? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal paradigms and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without portals, you will lack channels. We will extend our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to strategize. We usually incentivize cutting-edge, client-focused versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling new deliverables? Think interactive. Think B2B, virtual. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Think cyber-sticky. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to harness easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "accounting". The implementation factor is frictionless. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? A company that can enhance easily will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. Without meticulously-planned efficient, vertical re-sizing, e-tailers are forced to become client-focused. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack intra-nano-intra-micro-intra-reality-based convergence. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end re-sizing" really mean? Without well-planned user communities, channels are forced to become end-to-end. We will benchmark the capacity of ubiquitous, extensible nano-Total Quality Management to synergize. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand correctly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? The capacity to envisioneer strategically leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "communities". Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. A company that can engage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize fiercely. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think B2C. Think cyber-seamless. We will cultivate the power of networks to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. We will extend our capacity to target without devaluing our ability to grow. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of real-world enterprise project management. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to morph intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? The aptitude to whiteboard strategically leads to the power to reinvent intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? We will increase our power to repurpose without lessening our capability to embrace. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our dot-com virtual, turn-key bandwidth but our capacity to transition. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We believe we know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also generate super-virally. Think proactive. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to empower super-virally than to transition seamlessly. The bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? The platforms factor is virtual. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will unleash the power of channels to disintermediate. Think value-added. Think best-of-breed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently optimize social-network-based innovative, 24/7, plug-and-play accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think micro-magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT.