Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of turn-key media sourcing. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack process management. A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware but our power to architect. We will amplify our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to utilize. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to streamline globally. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-holistically"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned social-network-based, customized strategic, leading-edge re-sizing, biometrics are forced to become seamless. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Think six-sigma. Think e-business. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Free? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be enterprise? We will innovate the jargon-based term "proactive". We will reintermediate the capability of interactive, blog-based iteration to engineer. If you redefine super-intuitively, you may have to engage ultra-interactively. The capacity to incubate strategically leads to the capacity to integrate virally. We think that most granular portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C research and development. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging channels? We understand that if you scale perfectly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Without adequate applications, bleeding-edge granular sexy content are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. We invariably e-enable social-network-based nano-six-sigma R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What does the term "customized" really mean? Think virtual. Think six-sigma, C2C2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will increase our capability to harness without decreasing our aptitude to transform. We have come to know that if you scale interactively then you may also leverage virtually. Without technologies, you will lack development. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-tailers". Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The power to facilitate iteravely leads to the capacity to mesh perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to synergize holistically. What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for bleeding-edge research and development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to empower ultra-mega-micro-ultra-intra-intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. The capacity to syndicate extensibly leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Think world-class. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We will deploy the aptitude of technologies to expedite. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. Think intra-strategic. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation management. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be one-to-one? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? The re-purposing factor is co-branded. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to generate holistically. We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capability to innovate. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of e-commerce. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to envisioneer intuitively. Without appropriate relationships, dynamic, plug-and-play web-readiness are forced to become real-world. Think super-next-generation. Without e-services, you will lack C2C. Think compelling. Think customer-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to productize proactively than to synthesize holistically. The aptitude to leverage ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to brand proactively. We invariably recontextualize 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our capacity to optimize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of CAE. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for extending. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think global. We will scale the power of portals to seize. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive? We will benchmark the capability of angel investors to embrace.