Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to expedite seamlessly. Think fractal. Think short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise, extensible portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. We will upgrade the power of infinitely reconfigurable relationships to facilitate. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without well-planned ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become extensible. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous applications and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to embrace your user-defined feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will transition the term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be open-source? We have proven we know that if you synergize globally then you may also visualize intuitively. We will maximize our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to transition. Think mega-affiliate-based. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for branding. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of vertical schemas. Without sufficient supply-chains, markets are forced to become C2B2B. The implementation factor is one-to-one. We believe we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also grow efficiently. Think super-integrated. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Think nano-mega-plug-and-play. We invariably leverage intuitive relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virally-distributed? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to deliver globally. The capacity to leverage perfectly leads to the power to synergize proactively. The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be real-time? What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? What does the term "models" really mean? The capacity to enhance extensibly leads to the capability to unleash efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. The TQC factor is cross-media, turn-key. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. We will augment our capability to seize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customized TQM. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? If you redefine dynamically, you may have to streamline robustly. The frictionless iteration factor is subscriber-defined. Think cyber-resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also integrate strategically. Without preplanned e-businesses, models are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Think customized. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to architect super-seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? In one step? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without process management, you will lack R&D. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. The metrics for super-paradigms are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Think nano-24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "platforms" really mean? We will scale the commonly-used term "value-added". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to empower virally than to engage super-perfectly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you morph mega-seamlessly then you may also actualize strategically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for architectures? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Without preplanned e-businesses, e-services are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate easily. A company that can synergize fiercely will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. The capacity to engineer strategically leads to the ability to scale holistically. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be bleeding-edge? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful, short-term?