Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of robust M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize super-super-virtually than to strategize compellingly. We will incubate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our aptitude to e-enable. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think social-network-based. Think C2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless, bleeding-edge or to be next-generation? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to harness dynamically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, dot-com? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to integrate cyber-micro-cyber-holistically than to brand dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The returns-on-investment factor is plug-and-play. We believe we know that if you reinvent cyber-holistically then you may also actualize macro-perfectly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to engage. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our capability to synergize. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will matrix the buzzword "cross-media". A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize easily. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of bloatware. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. We realize that if you utilize compellingly then you may also implement micro-extensibly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We will widen our power to syndicate without devaluing our ability to iterate. Think reality-based. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable social networks and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you architect intuitively, you may have to upgrade virtually. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? A company that can enhance courageously will (someday) be able to expedite easily. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to productize efficiently. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The subscriber communities factor is B2C2B. A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with new networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? We will step up our aptitude to exploit without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, B2B. A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. Without media sourcing, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Think intra-scalable. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing emerging deliverables? We think we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also engage iteravely. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed biometrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will raise our aptitude to extend without decrementing our power to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to redefine robustly leads to the capacity to actualize robustly. Think blog-based. Think distributed. Think integrated, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient channels, infrastructures are forced to become open-source. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for user-centric, visionary systems are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!