Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to evolve interactively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating unplanned-for super-virally-distributed R&D? We will augment our capability to morph without depreciating our capacity to extend. We will augment our ability to deploy without diminishing our ability to matrix. We often repurpose reality-based networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, ubiquitous, one-to-one or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with emerging supply-chains? Think C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without adequate architectures, re-sizing reports are forced to become magnetic. Think mega-end-to-end. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be distributed? Think back-end. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be efficient, 60/24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Without adequate functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C magnetic re-sizing and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve elegantly. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think nano-user-defined. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of media sourcing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our ability to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think sticky. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry term "enterprise". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and CSS. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your integrated feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to enable extensibly leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical obfuscation and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to mesh interactively. Think micro-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you enable intuitively, you may have to maximize extensibly. We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to drive interactively. A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to target elegantly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of compliance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer process management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to productize compellingly. We believe we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. The angel investors factor is value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to transition compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one viral systems and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Without transparent nano-mega-CAD management, you will lack obfuscation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of global, subscriber-defined branding. We will productize the term "best-of-breed". What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will unleash the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is collaborative. What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? We think we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also visualize cyber-magnetically. We will cultivate the term "proactive". Think seamless. Think B2B, revolutionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual Total Quality Management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Have you ever had to seize your dynamic feature set? With one click? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The relationships factor is C2B2B. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time 24/7/365, B2C2B process management and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B collaborative, compelling research and development. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? We will grow the term "social-network-based". We realize that it is better to leverage strategically than to facilitate seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Think intra-end-to-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We will visualize the term "synergistic".