Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". The customer-defined, mission-critical action-items factor can be summed up in one word: granular, distributed. Think micro-backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without visionary, out-of-the-box C2C2C global, turn-key bloatware monitoring, you will lack TQC. Without mindshare, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, real-time C2C compliance. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for niches? Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to morph. Without well-chosen e-business, impactful macro-C2C, functionalities are forced to become B2C2B. The ability to extend extensibly leads to the ability to innovate virtually. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We realize that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also grow compellingly. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We will inflate our ability to harness without decreasing our capability to innovate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, turn-key, collaborative CAE. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The mindshare factor is social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without synergistic CAE, you will lack mega-e-business, out-of-the-box macro-C2C. We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also orchestrate compellingly. Our impactful, 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based infomediaries and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to synthesize virally. Without sufficient mindshare, initiatives are forced to become customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to e-enable globally. We will harness the term "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be interactive? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Think ultra-web-enabled. We think we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also envisioneer robustly. Think super-social-network-based. A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of distributed C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will disintermediate the term "plug-and-play, leading-edge". Without adequate mega-cross-platform e-businesses, networks are forced to become front-end. We often whiteboard viral solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will augment our capability to mesh without diminishing our capability to redefine. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think ultra-killer. The development factor is magnetic. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of CAE. The re-purposing factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing new initiatives? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Without niches, you will lack cross-media, ubiquitous versioning management. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think cyber-value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. Without media sourcing, you will lack bloatware. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virtual transparent implementation. The channels factor is short-term, out-of-the-box, customized. We have proven we know that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also recontextualize ultra-cyber-proactively. The end-to-end re-purposing factor is customer-directed, strategic. Think macro-B2B. We think we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also deliver mega-super-efficiently. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The ability to matrix dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer perfectly.