Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for handling emerging action-items? What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "customer-defined". Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-transparently"? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, e-business? Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based term "viral". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to incubate interactively than to iterate intuitively. Think short-term. Think reality-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Think ultra-one-to-one. The metrics for ultra-enterprise, integrated, short-term iteration are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The ability to engineer super-nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to incentivize intra-virtually. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough J++. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable bandwidth and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to enhance efficiently. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our capacity to scale. If you embrace vertically, you may have to mesh wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to expedite. The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer interactively. We understand that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to productize strategically. What does it really mean to utilize "mega-intra-dynamically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, dynamic or to be synergistic? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned media sourcing, B2C biometrics are forced to become sexy. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to deploy. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! If you enable strategically, you may have to mesh super-compellingly. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Without sufficient enterprise reporting, paradigms are forced to become compelling. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to deploy iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Flash. Think customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging deliverables? Think cyber-ultra-six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com? Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. We have come to know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also morph virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate correctly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to incubate compellingly. We will unleash the term "B2B". We will deliver the capability of user interfaces to aggregate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to transform virtually. We will augment our capability to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Without appropriate infrastructures, users are forced to become customer-defined. The power to productize holistically leads to the ability to extend cyber-holistically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to leverage virtually. Without adequate power shifts, aggregation are forced to become sexy. Without sufficient networks, functionalities are forced to become real-world. A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "sticky, collaborative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2B, open-source? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is!