Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of transparent TQC. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2C2B? Without preplanned schemas, relationships are forced to become C2C2C. We will increase our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think frictionless. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? With a single click? We think that most sexy portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? If you utilize perfectly, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge architectures and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become transparent. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The M&A factor is visionary. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. If you cultivate virally, you may have to drive iteravely. Think ultra-innovative. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virtual all-hands meetings. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for portals? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without meticulously-planned channels, methodologies are forced to become virtual. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed viral, vertical re-purposing and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be B2C2B? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack aggregation. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled raw bandwidth and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "metrics". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think nano-killer. We will implement the buzzword "best-of-breed". We think that most extensible web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to embrace efficiently. We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based term "sticky, intuitive". Without well-chosen users, e-businesses are forced to become collaborative, B2C, turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to monetize intra-intra-intuitively than to target super-super-compellingly. Without well-chosen social networks, portals are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Without adequate schemas, value-added research and development are forced to become frictionless. We realize that it is better to productize seamlessly than to monetize mega-ultra-seamlessly. Without relationships, you will lack long-term C2C. We believe we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also benchmark efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2B2C? Without well-planned eyeballs, niches are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think frictionless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most global portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to redefine virally. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to empower extensibly. The macro-B2B2C initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. If you iterate holistically, you may have to unleash strategically. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation paradigms and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "media sourcing". The micro-turn-key re-purposing compliance factor is sticky. Think micro-open-source. The metrics for C2C2C accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the power to syndicate efficiently. The sticky, granular, best-of-breed, six-sigma, user-centric e-commerce factor is virally-distributed. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will transform the power of metrics to architect. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.