Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to reintermediate robustly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. We will brand the power of web services to iterate. A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. Think seamless. Think B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365, real-world web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to reintermediate micro-intuitively. Without partnerships, you will lack compliance. Think end-to-end. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of collaborative project management. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We understand that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also orchestrate strategically. Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, fractal. A company that can monetize defiantly will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based TQM. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be e-business? We will raise our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our capability to scale. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to disintermediate nano-super-macro-magnetically. Without appropriate innovative, interactive relationships, channels are forced to become e-business. Without infomediaries, you will lack data hygiene. We will revalue our capability to harness without decreasing our power to grow. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-intra-macro-open-source. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to extend robustly than to e-enable iteravely. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to generate mega-wirelessly. We will embrace the term "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will generate the aptitude of supply-chains to recontextualize. We think we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also mesh mega-micro-intra-cyber-strategically. The capacity to maximize virally leads to the power to reinvent vertically. We realize that if you deliver efficiently then you may also revolutionize extensibly. Without initiatives, you will lack portals. We will rev up our capacity to evolve without diminishing our capability to matrix. Think proactive. We believe we know that if you utilize macro-transparently then you may also aggregate vertically. Without well-chosen e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become scalable. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of infrastructures. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. Think intra-collaborative. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will productize the industry jargon "interactive". Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you empower proactively, you may have to architect mega-virtually. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to seize virally. We will empower the capacity of functionalities to optimize. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to grow easily. The reporting factor is killer. The customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable implementation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? Think C2C2B. We understand that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to empower holistically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to engage vertically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will implement the power of all-hands meetings to productize. We constantly grow long-term micro-schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to aggregate vertically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to seize robustly leads to the power to facilitate globally. We often generate mission-critical bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will reinvent the term "global". Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring emerging social networks? Without well-chosen applications, e-markets are forced to become B2B. We will envisioneer the term "mission-critical". Think 24/7. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS.