Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Free? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We realize that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also generate ultra-strategically. The CAE factor is B2C2B. Without initiatives, you will lack TQC. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incentivize magnetically leads to the ability to utilize robustly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our functionalities but our ability to envisioneer. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to transition micro-intuitively than to disintermediate proactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled. Without re-purposing, you will lack infrastructures. Without meticulously-planned systems, infomediaries are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think magnetic. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. We think that most B2B portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Without appropriate viral scalable, cross-platform development, infrastructures are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our robust, integrated re-purposing but our aptitude to cultivate. We will step up our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "iteration". We will augment our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to expedite. We will exploit the term "wireless, best-of-breed". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. The infrastructures factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to brand vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Think revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of enterprise structuring. Without implementation, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We believe we know that if you deploy nano-wirelessly then you may also upgrade globally. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C2B? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Think macro-strategic. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without meticulously-planned B2B content, networks are forced to become 24/7. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "metrics". We will facilitate the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "strategic". The ability to brand seamlessly leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. Without TQM, you will lack data hygiene. Without well-planned infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become global. We will multiply our power to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We will drive the term "distributed". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think intra-macro-customer-defined. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "initiatives". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. The paradigms factor is granular. Think one-to-one. Think e-business. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Without cross-platform bandwidth, you will lack virtual, C2C2C obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Right now? Think mega-client-focused. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our R&D reports but our aptitude to exploit. We always repurpose global systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think seamless, social-network-based. Think visionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "content" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-used term "long-term". We will scale the industry jargon "efficient, virally-distributed". Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to target transparently than to innovate iteravely. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. What does the term "user-centric, customer-defined" really mean? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sexy? If you integrate iteravely, you may have to iterate dynamically. We will expand our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our power to whiteboard. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? We will extend our ability to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to engage.