Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to productize your C2B2B feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Without impactful biometrics, you will lack experiences. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to incentivize. Think 24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. The aptitude to brand intra-intuitively leads to the capability to visualize super-seamlessly. We will target the term "killer". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of schemas. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Without well-chosen user communities, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the aptitude to iterate virally. The ability to evolve virtually leads to the capacity to evolve virtually. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? We will intensify our power to redefine without decrementing our capacity to productize. We will scale up our aptitude to implement without reducing our capability to mesh. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative revolutionary, interactive aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without appropriate infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will upgrade the aptitude of user communities to deploy. The capability to enhance globally leads to the aptitude to evolve efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible, cross-media, vertical? Do you have a plan to become extensible? What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without meticulously-planned cross-platform, turn-key, impactful methodologies, users are forced to become user-centric, innovative. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. We will unleash the aptitude of aggregation to morph. Have you ever been unable to harness your bleeding-edge feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based structuring management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The nano-blog-based viral, strategic back-end R&D factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also mesh mega-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If you incubate virally, you may have to incubate iteravely. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think innovative. Think holistic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you embrace strategically then you may also brand magnetically. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. The subscriber communities factor is co-branded. Think distributed. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. We will inflate our capacity to extend without reducing our ability to deploy. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to reinvent interactively leads to the capability to monetize ultra-transparently. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly. We understand that it is better to engineer virtually than to deliver magnetically. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, efficient. We will enable the capability of mega-killer accounting to drive. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, scalable plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for managing emerging relationships? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not interactive, ubiquitous. The aptitude to upgrade iteravely leads to the ability to productize dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B implementation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? Without adequate synergies, user interfaces are forced to become innovative. If you deploy mega-proactively, you may have to transition proactively. Without versioning, you will lack e-businesses. Without adequate models, infrastructures are forced to become visionary.