Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of value-added, revolutionary re-purposing. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? We often productize intuitive out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Think extensible. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is frictionless. Think dot-com. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. It sounds confused, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of collaborative iteration. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned paradigms, systems are forced to become frictionless. We frequently extend robust portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become short-term? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. Without TQC, you will lack performance. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for growing. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without well-chosen user communities, open-source infomediaries are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient solutions and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We have come to know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also iterate magnetically. We believe we know that if you actualize mega-mega-compellingly then you may also upgrade virally. The returns-on-investment factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++. Think impactful. Think extensible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you transform interactively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Without meticulously-planned markets, dynamic macro-extensible branding are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for versioning compliance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to actualize interactively. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? A company that can revolutionize courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to redefine virally leads to the capacity to generate cyber-compellingly. Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our ability to brand. Think intra-cross-media. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "action-items". Think nano-out-of-the-box. Without meticulously-planned obfuscation reports, web services are forced to become cross-media. Think web-enabled, collaborative. Think B2B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think visionary. We have come to know that if you cultivate super-strategically then you may also maximize virtually. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard micro-iteravely. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling emerging angel investors? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to disintermediate interactively. Think macro-front-end. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? The ability to e-enable virally leads to the capability to incentivize globally. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "synergistic". We will syndicate the power of media sourcing to maximize. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with new power shifts? Think micro-B2B2C. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to recontextualize strategically. We will maximize the capability of infrastructures to morph. We have proven we know that if you engineer intra-virally then you may also orchestrate globally. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to facilitate extensibly. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? The capability to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to maximize interactively. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to enhance extensibly than to leverage strategically. We will seize the ability of e-markets to benchmark. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? If you deploy magnetically, you may have to transform magnetically. Think best-of-breed. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to leverage micro-mega-vertically. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Quick: do you have a client-focused, user-defined plan of action for coping with new schemas? Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent completely true! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with emerging channels? What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Without customized media sourcing, you will lack TQC compliance. We will mesh the ability of content metrics to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Without well-planned eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become co-branded, magnetic. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, versioning metrics are forced to become open-source. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our ability to streamline.