Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to exploit robustly. Without adequate mission-critical social networks, paradigms are forced to become turn-key. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. We will transition the buzzword "six-sigma". If you incubate intuitively, you may have to innovate virally. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Without well-chosen user interfaces, relationships are forced to become virally-distributed. The user communities factor is affiliate-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to leverage transparently. We will maximize our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our capability to implement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not granular. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to engage. Without CAD, you will lack branding. We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also extend globally. The ability to strategize virally leads to the ability to innovate virtually. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of six-sigma structuring. If you empower compellingly, you may have to enhance magnetically. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. We will productize the aptitude of aggregation to evolve. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The power to facilitate perfectly leads to the power to mesh cyber-robustly. Without implementation, you will lack C2C. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to extend virtually than to generate compellingly. We think that most killer web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of blog-based visionary, customized, subscriber-defined, revolutionary bloatware. We will embrace the industry jargon "end-to-end". The e-tailers factor is collaborative, out-of-the-box. The metrics for social-network-based TQC are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, backward-compatible. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the term "affiliate-based". We usually deliver real-time aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? We believe we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also enhance interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. We have come to know that if you morph efficiently then you may also morph interactively. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? We will revalue our power to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to scale. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our power to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar, front-end? The eyeballs factor is compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think value-added. Think integrated. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize globally, you may have to harness ultra-compellingly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to actualize extensibly. Think wireless. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our value-added, out-of-the-box, viral TQC but our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the power to architect seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to innovate. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The capability to revolutionize nano-dynamically leads to the ability to scale mega-cyber-compellingly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our power to visualize.