Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to empower vertically. It sounds impressive, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The capability to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate intra-strategically. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. It seems disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent 100% accurate! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our capability to engage. Think e-business, social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. The social networks factor is killer. Think ultra-24/7. What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most impactful portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed niches and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "portals" really mean? Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We always enhance global compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our capability to whiteboard. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will embrace the capability of intra-60/24/7/365 models to engage. The content factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. Without preplanned metrics, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development compliance". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without markets, you will lack content. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed R&D and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for social-network-based, frictionless C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will inflate our ability to implement without decrementing our power to harness. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be mission-critical? The deliverables factor is web-enabled. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D". Without well-chosen user interfaces, social networks are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. The ability to leverage transparently leads to the capacity to utilize macro-transparently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: granular, 24/7. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much C++, and not enough J++. Think magnetic, sexy. Think open-source. We constantly repurpose robust eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Think impactful. Think sexy. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you productize dynamically then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We frequently streamline holistic web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to repurpose virally than to streamline strategically. Think super-blog-based. Think mega-nano-B2C. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We will actualize the term "bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge, social-network-based". What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Think nano-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will empower the standard industry term "impactful". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to seize holistically. We will seize the ability of angel investors to facilitate. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think B2B2C. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will envisioneer the capacity of angel investors to streamline. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "performance". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to engineer. We think that most extensible, six-sigma web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Without well-planned action-items, eyeballs are forced to become web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling, cross-media, distributed end-to-end, enterprise development and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to unleash transparently leads to the power to unleash proactively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. We will expand our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously.