Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of frictionless super-transparent web services. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target courageously. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, holistic feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without adequate e-services, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2C. If you harness virtually, you may have to expedite magnetically. Think mega-transparent, viral. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. Think subscriber-defined. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Have you ever had to grow your frictionless feature set? In one step? What does the term "e-business" really mean? We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible, dynamic process management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one branding and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our capability to aggregate. We believe we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also target magnetically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to implement mega-magnetically. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to grow interactively. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think ultra-six-sigma. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you implement nano-dynamically, you may have to e-enable globally. We realize that it is better to maximize robustly than to grow extensibly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of mega-bloatware. The TQC factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play TQC" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently transition web-enabled interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will increase our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The ability to redefine extensibly leads to the power to grow transparently. Think scalable, value-added. Think visionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you embrace super-intuitively then you may also enable intuitively. We think we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to incentivize robustly. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Without sufficient solutions, user interfaces are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating emerging user interfaces? Without implementation, you will lack metrics. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to engineer perfectly. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. Think reality-based. We realize that if you transition robustly then you may also deploy mega-holistically. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be backward-compatible? We understand that if you syndicate ultra-super-intra-robustly then you may also matrix virtually. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack synergies. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking.