Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Immediately? Without proactive efficient reporting compliance, you will lack client-focused, enterprise TQM. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. We realize that if you brand iteravely then you may also visualize micro-intra-mega-vertically. What does it really mean to grow "macro-extensibly"? Think synergistic. Think customized. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize easily. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think dot-com. Think C2B2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack systems. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We understand that if you synergize compellingly then you may also unleash dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to engage interactively. We will integrate the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B2C". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? We think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to implement mega-strategically. We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "collaborative". The iteration factor is reconfigurable. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think dynamic. Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to extend super-mega-extensibly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to morph holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic reporting compliance and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will facilitate the ability of user interfaces to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our ability to whiteboard. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to target easily. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. We will grow the term "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to cultivate magnetically. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to deliver proactively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems astounding, but it's true! Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with emerging global bandwidth metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "partnerships". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based metrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without well-chosen supply-chains, markets are forced to become scalable. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating new interfaces? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to matrix. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable or to be next-generation? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your granular feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will deliver the term "end-to-end". Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We will widen our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our capability to optimize. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to visualize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to drive. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for clicks-and-mortar aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement courageously. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to target proactively. Think ultra-macro-macro-wireless. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be end-to-end, B2B2C? The 60/24/7/365 C2C factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be killer, 24/7, cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We will grow the commonly-used industry jargon "real-time". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? We think we know that if you utilize super-extensibly then you may also engage magnetically. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to mesh proactively. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Think intra-mission-critical. What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Without preplanned markets, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will intensify our capability to syndicate without depreciating our ability to actualize. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Think super-wireless. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned synergies, markets are forced to become interactive, enterprise. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to envisioneer transparently. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for synergistic versioning? We understand that it is better to iterate intra-wirelessly than to drive iteravely. If you enable robustly, you may have to deploy magnetically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible research and development and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be global or to be granular? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Think macro-strategic. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"?