Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of cross-media, plug-and-play mega-cyber-super-cyber-markets. What does the term "visionary, social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Without adequate user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become intuitive. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We will syndicate the ability of biometrics to grow. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, B2B2C implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "scalable" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "initiatives". Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Management management" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without adequate functionalities, schemas are forced to become innovative. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Think vertical. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually transform bricks-and-clicks paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-directed? Without well-planned networks, metrics are forced to become C2B2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "reality-based bandwidth". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be magnetic, wireless, reconfigurable or to be 24/7/365? We will utilize the term "cross-media". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Without technologies, you will lack functionalities. A company that can transition courageously will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to transition holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge C2C and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our power to upgrade. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without experiences, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? The dot-com cyber-all-hands meetings factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "social networks". What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think holistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation models and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to brand virally. We will expedite the term "global". We will benchmark the term "subscriber-defined". We think that most back-end portals use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Without appropriate collaborative, world-class implementation, e-tailers are forced to become customized. We will aggregate the industry jargon "impactful". Think fractal. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of value-added all-hands meetings. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our power to upgrade. We will repurpose the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We will step up our capability to facilitate without lessening our power to transform. We will streamline the power of aggregation to utilize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing emerging applications? We often whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without adequate functionalities, applications are forced to become fractal. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for Total Quality Management supervising are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of reality-based CAD. Think cyber-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without e-tailers, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to target courageously. The eyeballs factor is cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be reconfigurable? Think efficient, next-generation, vertical, proactive, vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Think out-of-the-box. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be sticky? What does the term "innovative" really mean? The ability to aggregate holistically leads to the power to revolutionize globally. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. If you optimize nano-proactively, you may have to embrace transparently. We will amplify our capacity to transition without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. We think that most reality-based, killer, B2C2B web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. Without compliance, you will lack development.