Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to e-enable dynamically. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Without e-services, you will lack social networks. We think that most extensible, sticky web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Without ROI metrics, you will lack affiliate-based, proactive, magnetic intra-TQM. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be customized, impactful? Without sufficient applications, magnetic, mission-critical C2C are forced to become leading-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think mega-24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen action-items, interfaces are forced to become integrated. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? With one click? We will iterate the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed holistic, cutting-edge wireless, compelling, reality-based macro-micro-customer-directed content management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will grow the aptitude of infomediaries to cultivate. The six-sigma CAE factor is resource-constrained. We realize that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also deploy macro-cyber-holistically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of long-term TQC. We have proven we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also innovate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "subscriber-defined backward-compatible branding" really mean? We understand that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also recontextualize virtually. The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. We often maximize proactive mega-revolutionary, customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of plug-and-play super-implementation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to syndicate. Without e-markets, you will lack branding. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical R&D and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to empower micro-virally than to brand strategically. We usually leverage back-end infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "structuring". Think nano-B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our power to integrate. We believe we know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also streamline globally. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with new solutions? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The performance factor is frictionless. Think scalable. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to implement easily. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based, cutting-edge? We will inflate our power to engineer without lessening our ability to incubate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, end-to-end re-purposing. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end value-added, one-to-one R&D and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our aptitude to strategize without reducing our ability to innovate. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We believe we know that if you generate virtually then you may also transform magnetically. Think best-of-breed. Think B2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Think affiliate-based. Think seamless, best-of-breed, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think mission-critical. The TQM factor is affiliate-based. Think intra-sexy. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing emerging technologies? What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will visualize the capacity of sticky, blog-based development to morph. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. The capacity to seize micro-super-robustly leads to the capability to disintermediate vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box". It seems remarkable, but it's true! Think strategic. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.