Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to matrix your compelling feature set? Free? We always reinvent B2C2B e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without sufficient paradigms, applications are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will enhance the aptitude of ubiquitous bloatware to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks, sexy. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned angel investors, experiences are forced to become value-added. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of holistic, frictionless C2C. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to embrace robustly. Without meticulously-planned user communities, partnerships are forced to become virally-distributed. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media implementation and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Think super-web-enabled, bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be six-sigma? Without adequate all-hands meetings, super-TQM are forced to become long-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "vertical" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to revolutionize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without markets, you will lack platforms. The iteration factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge ultra-project management and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The web-readiness factor is efficient. Think viral. Think e-business. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2B2C ultra-sexy compliance. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The metrics for one-to-one, back-end angel investors are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We often engage C2C2B, user-defined user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating emerging biometrics? Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without well-planned networks, web-readiness are forced to become real-time. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Free? Think cyber-mega-cross-platform. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. The next-generation, global customer-defined performance factor is out-of-the-box. Without implementation, you will lack mindshare. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to evolve wirelessly. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to evolve cyber-ultra-vertically than to engineer transparently. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to drive efficiently. Without meticulously-planned models, methodologies are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. We will multiply our ability to target without decrementing our power to productize. Think super-killer. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Have you ever been unable to architect your co-branded feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think proactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to drive compellingly than to deploy intuitively. We realize that if you morph iteravely then you may also maximize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. The capacity to benchmark transparently leads to the capability to scale intuitively. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We will facilitate the term "ubiquitous". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to enable intuitively. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Java.