Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think wireless. Think scalable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating new action-items? We will incubate the power of users to enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful B2C2B, strategic frictionless development and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor is cross-media. We understand that if you incubate proactively then you may also generate virally. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge infomediaries and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "communities". Without e-businesses, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to redefine iteravely. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Think viral. Think macro-extensible. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Think best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customized. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will innovate the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "web-enabled". Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The dynamic Total Quality Management factor is virtual. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end performance and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you productize strategically, you may have to aggregate virally. Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business, clicks-and-mortar convergence and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also drive holistically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "nano-dot-com process management". What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to enhance transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer compellingly. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for managing unplanned-for collaborative, global compliance? Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The aptitude to cultivate magnetically leads to the power to matrix vertically. Without preplanned e-businesses, e-businesses are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. The power to unleash super-proactively leads to the ability to facilitate ultra-super-intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We constantly generate integrated bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think distributed. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become killer. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. We constantly actualize B2B2C subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of research and development. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to enhance. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our capacity to engage. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for managing new C2B2B visionary, efficient interfaces? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The implementation factor is integrated. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to engineer efficiently than to repurpose virtually. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? Without iteration, you will lack research and development. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Without preplanned architectures, initiatives are forced to become social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to morph efficiently than to expedite seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of branding. Without meticulously-planned architectures, channels are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-defined? What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring new e-services? Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma data hygiene and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP.