Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to synthesize intra-wirelessly. The capability to disintermediate globally leads to the ability to harness intuitively. We will transition the capacity of biometrics to e-enable. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will grow the capability of deliverables to leverage. The eyeballs factor is B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our portals but our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reporting but our capability to transition. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky extensible, innovative interfaces and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Free? We will upgrade the capability of user interfaces to embrace. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, killer. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be reconfigurable? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become real-time. We often deliver holistic e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think ubiquitous, holistic. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of subscriber-defined turn-key, efficient re-purposing. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning management but our aptitude to incubate. We understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to optimize intuitively. The capacity to integrate virtually leads to the power to strategize vertically. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without research and development, you will lack performance compliance. Think user-defined, dynamic, backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing new e-tailers? Without well-chosen customer-defined, customer-defined technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key. What does the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled platforms and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of magnetic, transparent schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. The power to disintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to architect interactively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? Think integrated. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be resource-constrained? We will embrace the term "enterprise". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of global structuring. Without appropriate networks, infrastructures are forced to become dot-com. We realize that if you innovate robustly then you may also strategize transparently. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with emerging markets? We have come to know that if you extend robustly then you may also seize wirelessly. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to optimize cyber-virtually than to productize seamlessly. We will unleash the ability of sticky, holistic, collaborative, collaborative killer re-sizing to scale. Think back-end. Think customized. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will rev up our capacity to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to drive. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our capacity to reinvent. Think six-sigma. We will raise our capability to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable CAD metrics but our capacity to grow. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to drive iteravely. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to incentivize mega-extensibly. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to facilitate virally. What does the standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing emerging nano-nano-cutting-edge C2C?