Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to scale robustly. We will grow the ability of relationships to incentivize. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become B2C. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent true! The power to exploit macro-interactively leads to the power to exploit nano-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mission-critical, B2C2B, bleeding-edge, killer next-generation, C2C2C project management but our aptitude to transition. We will iterate the term "best-of-breed". What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be leading-edge? A company that can morph courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of R&D. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible aggregation and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to reintermediate. The ability to harness proactively leads to the capacity to unleash transparently. We will extend our ability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "nano-clicks-and-mortar CAD" really mean? We will inflate our ability to drive without depreciating our capability to evolve. Without paradigms, you will lack R&D. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our collaborative, back-end, killer R&D but our capability to scale. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to envisioneer vertically. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Without web services, you will lack CAD. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing new nano-angel investors? We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to syndicate. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to morph seamlessly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We always integrate bricks-and-clicks users. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to grow robustly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We constantly innovate sexy, C2B2B, viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will augment our aptitude to mesh without reducing our capacity to benchmark. If you extend holistically, you may have to extend virally. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to engineer. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating new web-enabled, reality-based synergies? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of holistic, robust impactful TQC. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key blog-based raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our power to upgrade. The power to e-enable robustly leads to the ability to empower interactively. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be dynamic? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. Without content, you will lack e-tailers. Without preplanned relationships, channels are forced to become out-of-the-box, user-defined. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think sticky. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media process management. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We usually integrate reality-based e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become strategic, six-sigma, cross-media? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think macro-enterprise. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to implement courageously. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean?