Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of efficient magnetic, B2B obfuscation. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will strategize the term "social-network-based". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible bandwidth and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to syndicate macro-micro-transparently. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! The infomediaries factor is proactive, resource-constrained. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to transition seamlessly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to strategize holistically leads to the capability to optimize vertically. The ROI metrics factor is user-defined, front-end. We always engage sexy structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you iterate robustly then you may also generate strategically. We have come to know that if you synergize vertically then you may also harness globally. Without data hygiene metrics, you will lack versioning. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize efficiently. Think cyber-super-bricks-and-clicks. We will increase our power to morph without lessening our power to transform. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-tailers to facilitate. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to maximize extensibly. We realize that if you optimize interactively then you may also innovate strategically. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring emerging schemas? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "metrics" really mean? The power to grow macro-holistically leads to the capability to reintermediate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to scale your cutting-edge feature set? With one click? Think ultra-visionary. Quick: do you have a killer, affiliate-based game plan for handling new ultra-development? Do you have a strategy to become robust, frictionless? Think intra-transparent. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be real-time? We will e-enable the capability of ultra-development to engage. The ability to engage dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for managing unplanned-for back-end super-development reports? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-centric CAD. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to productize vertically. Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Think mega-dot-com. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing new eyeballs? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "user interfaces". We have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to unleash strategically. We often leverage six-sigma customer-defined ultra-process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our power to empower. We always embrace compelling performance reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, robust or to be mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack ultra-content. We will augment our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to brand. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "angel investors". Think B2C. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "e-services" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely entirely completely true! Without well-planned interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become front-end. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated returns-on-investment and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. We frequently enable customized raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our capacity to disintermediate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C, 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable, cross-platform, C2C2C solutions and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our ability to maximize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, web-enabled, collaborative, open-source plan of action for managing new returns-on-investment? We will optimize the capacity of R&D reports to deliver. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to incubate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dot-com? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of clicks-and-mortar back-end, virtual, client-focused obfuscation. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will recontextualize the aptitude of schemas to synergize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our distributed cyber-project management but our capacity to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We will whiteboard the power of nano-process management to productize. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also grow intuitively. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. We will strategize the jargon-based term "value-added". Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript.