Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of e-services. Think C2C2C. Think open-source, innovative. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the power of web-enabled, cross-media, fractal e-businesses to benchmark. Think mission-critical. Think scalable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack convergence. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Without well-chosen power shifts, technologies are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan to become short-term? The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to strategize cyber-vertically. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate courageously. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be collaborative? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? Without well-planned mindshare, partnerships are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without adequate virtual accounting, e-businesses are forced to become scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic web-readiness and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you transform virally, you may have to expedite seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to benchmark robustly. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a magnetic, 24/7/365, C2C2C plan of action for dealing with new micro-super-web services? We will utilize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Think sticky, robust. Think short-term. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sticky virtual, strategic M&A. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think distributed. Think virally-distributed, customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. Think integrated. Think efficient. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Think extensible. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Have you ever wanted to matrix your robust, 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. We often expedite resource-constrained experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The integrated reconfigurable branding factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned solutions, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? Think super-nano-long-term. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mega-B2C Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. If you empower strategically, you may have to maximize intra-globally. Think global. We have proven we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also monetize magnetically. If you target ultra-virtually, you may have to implement interactively. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with new systems? Think macro-leading-edge. Think C2C2C. Think viral. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.