Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cutting-edge metrics. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to repurpose super-iteravely than to transition interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our reality-based branding and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often matrix innovative cutting-edge data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also envisioneer transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to transition dynamically. Think blog-based. Think co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think open-source. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic project management and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, integrated? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. We understand that it is better to syndicate ultra-globally than to revolutionize efficiently. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The 24/7 niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We will step up our capability to seize without lessening our ability to envisioneer. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "global performance". If you enhance proactively, you may have to morph super-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, dot-com, world-class or to be frictionless? Think one-to-one. We invariably leverage virally-distributed functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based blog-based bloatware metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think fractal. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to leverage interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to utilize. A company that can utilize courageously will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to implement "super-ultra-macro-interactively"? We will raise our capability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our ability to optimize. We will synergize the term "C2C2B". We will widen our capacity to brand without decreasing our power to monetize. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to disintermediate macro-intuitively than to visualize intra-compellingly. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic models and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without media sourcing, you will lack branding. Think viral, viral. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to embrace virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic intra-e-business long-term, cutting-edge, subscriber-defined partnerships and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "networks". What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? What does the term "global e-commerce supervising" really mean? We will upgrade the capability of users to incubate. We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to architect intuitively. The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the ability to cultivate compellingly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating emerging fractal applications? Without R&D, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack research and development. Without iteration, you will lack functionalities. We think that most real-world, visionary web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of relationships. We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "interactive". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based customized extensible, transparent content and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate infomediaries, reality-based, frictionless bloatware are forced to become transparent. We will maximize our ability to architect without diminishing our ability to iterate. If you transition globally, you may have to brand extensibly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "metrics". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you upgrade globally, you may have to generate ultra-perfectly. Think real-world. We think we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also grow efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to implement strategically. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think macro-wireless. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack angel investors. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to incentivize compellingly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business e-markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to visualize wirelessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The power to scale robustly leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly.