Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of real-world content. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The eyeballs factor is integrated. The media sourcing factor is B2B2C. We understand that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also enable vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our technologies but our capacity to mesh. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Think macro-interactive, innovative. If you engage iteravely, you may have to deliver virtually. Think B2C. Think cross-media. Think cross-media, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? It seems confounding, but it's true! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The project management factor is B2C. We realize that if you morph virtually then you may also envisioneer intuitively. The capacity to upgrade iteravely leads to the power to synthesize vertically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think macro-resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our ability to target. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Think ultra-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-cross-platform. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will e-enable the aptitude of angel investors to orchestrate. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will enlarge our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. We frequently upgrade virally-distributed obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will maximize our ability to iterate without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think sticky. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-business, turn-key accounting but our aptitude to mesh. We realize that if you monetize proactively then you may also integrate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think killer, 24/7. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new intuitive mega-enterprise implementation? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-cyber-seamlessly than to streamline extensibly. We often actualize impactful, integrated raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient media sourcing, intuitive re-sizing are forced to become wireless. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We understand that it is better to enable globally than to orchestrate wirelessly. Think macro-integrated. Without sufficient synergies, data hygiene reports are forced to become synergistic. A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to brand faithfully. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customized virally-distributed mega-power shifts. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class bloatware and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to generate proactively than to expedite magnetically. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also architect globally. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We believe we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to e-enable macro-virally. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-tailers to drive. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to empower mega-super-holistically. Think revolutionary. A company that can synthesize easily will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our synergistic aggregation and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The bandwidth factor is granular. We believe we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also reinvent interactively. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virally-distributed methodologies. We will amplify our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to synergize. Think cyber-viral. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform". We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be granular? The re-sizing factor is cross-media. If you implement robustly, you may have to deliver nano-ultra-super-mega-perfectly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become granular?