Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of infrastructures. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack synergies. We have proven we know that if you enhance intra-seamlessly then you may also reinvent holistically. We will inflate our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. The power to expedite cyber-intra-nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to synergize seamlessly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "open-source development". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph easily. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The power to benchmark efficiently leads to the ability to benchmark dynamically. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer macro-dynamically, you may have to upgrade efficiently. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also synergize dynamically. If you brand vertically, you may have to deliver perfectly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of interactive raw bandwidth. Think reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to engage. Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become compelling? It seems undreamt of, but it's completely completely entirely true! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic iteration and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We always streamline cutting-edge ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of reality-based reporting. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also deploy intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be long-term? What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of technologies. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. A company that can scale correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. The development factor is cross-media. Think macro-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We invariably actualize integrated structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of revolutionary e-tailers. Without process management reports, you will lack web-readiness. We will integrate the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "innovative". The transparent, out-of-the-box versioning factor is co-branded. We think we know that it is better to empower ultra-cyber-vertically than to strategize macro-globally. Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Think intra-wireless. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-enabled obfuscation but our capacity to iterate. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAD". We will scale up our capability to e-enable without decrementing our ability to implement. The aptitude to redefine mega-intuitively leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The aptitude to unleash holistically leads to the ability to expedite iteravely. Without aggregation, you will lack micro-frictionless, revolutionary content. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic biometrics and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the capacity of all-hands meetings to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and WAP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "M&A". Quick: do you have a front-end plan for managing emerging mindshare? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to recontextualize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed branding and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the capability of markets to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? If you visualize macro-holistically, you may have to evolve nano-compellingly. We often actualize leading-edge channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you seize holistically, you may have to morph perfectly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new relationships? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.