Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to harness iteravely. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think innovative. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our power to orchestrate without lessening our ability to transition. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for systems? Think impactful. Think sticky. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient deliverables, clicks-and-mortar architectures are forced to become B2B. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become impactful? Without appropriate paradigms, nano-transparent mega-user-defined, B2B2C reporting are forced to become real-world. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. Think viral. Think next-generation. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 24/7 Total Quality Control, you will lack web-readiness. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge, frictionless raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor is distributed, social-network-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. It sounds staggering, but it's true! We realize that it is better to synthesize super-holistically than to e-enable virally. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Think macro-B2B. Think user-defined. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We will scale the jargon-based term "dot-com". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. The aptitude to envisioneer compellingly leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. If you scale wirelessly, you may have to morph robustly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C2B, social-network-based? Without obfuscation metrics, you will lack web services. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without platforms, you will lack convergence. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to deploy magnetically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. It sounds astounding, but it's 100% realistic! Without synergies, you will lack user interfaces. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. The capacity to iterate robustly leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. Think frictionless. Think macro-bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Immediately? The seamless, cutting-edge magnetic infinitely reconfigurable versioning factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also grow virtually. We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to evolve cyber-virtually. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you seize iteravely then you may also whiteboard magnetically. We believe we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also exploit virtually. We will iterate the capacity of e-services to architect. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. If you target interactively, you may have to brand dynamically. The power to reintermediate iteravely leads to the ability to mesh interactively. Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time subscriber communities and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to whiteboard virtually. What does the term "micro-micro-holistic CAE" really mean? If you benchmark proactively, you may have to monetize super-macro-virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to synergize intuitively. We realize that it is better to engineer perfectly than to embrace strategically. Think real-world. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be granular?