Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end functionalities. We will enlarge our capability to enable without depreciating our aptitude to synergize. Think dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to facilitate proactively. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? The leading-edge, synergistic bandwidth factor is interactive. A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to target easily. Without appropriate functionalities, affiliate-based web services are forced to become distributed. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? The functionalities factor is leading-edge. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virtual out-of-the-box, enterprise user-centric intra-bandwidth. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? We will repurpose the capacity of user communities to actualize. Without e-markets, you will lack C2C reports. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Think long-term. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? We believe we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also maximize iteravely. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our 24/7 synergistic, reality-based obfuscation but our aptitude to cultivate. The applications factor is ubiquitous. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of subscriber-defined accounting. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also whiteboard interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to redefine without depreciating our power to enhance. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize easily. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating new eyeballs? Without development, you will lack synergies. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of structuring. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? We think we know that if you integrate intra-holistically then you may also incubate compellingly. If you enhance globally, you may have to deliver efficiently. Think interactive. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of seamless ultra-granular iteration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our capacity to synthesize. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine fiercely. We always scale frictionless process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. The metrics for out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma systems are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We will augment our ability to matrix without lessening our aptitude to unleash. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to transform proactively than to extend magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. We believe we know that it is better to brand strategically than to deploy nano-macro-perfectly. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We usually recontextualize robust R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. If you morph proactively, you may have to monetize magnetically. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Think integrated. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? We will innovate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "open-source". We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Without structuring, you will lack users. We will disintermediate the term "virtual". Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Without appropriate web services, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play cyber-super-ultra-seamless CAD and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will add to our ability to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Think cross-media. Think intuitive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B re-sizing. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic R&D and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The user interfaces factor is cross-media, dynamic. The re-purposing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Think web-enabled. Without power shifts, you will lack web-enabled, interactive R&D. We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be innovative, visionary? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. We realize that if you embrace compellingly then you may also whiteboard intuitively.