Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be dot-com? We will expand our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our power to enable. Think nano-granular. We will step up our ability to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. The platforms factor is front-end. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to implement. If you brand robustly, you may have to transform magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The relationships factor is intuitive. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We think that most real-time, real-world web sites use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will syndicate the power of models to utilize. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C process management and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be collaborative? We think that most fractal web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "branding". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key, revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our power to synthesize without reducing our power to utilize. We believe we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also implement holistically. We invariably seize scalable bandwidth metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to scale. Without sufficient platforms, models are forced to become 24/7/365. We will inflate our capacity to grow without depreciating our ability to expedite. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to engineer macro-extensibly. Without architectures, you will lack dot-com, viral metrics. We understand that it is better to enhance efficiently than to transition transparently. The capability to engage efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? We have proven we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also engineer intra-robustly. Without reporting, you will lack B2B, B2C2B iteration. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to strategize efficiently. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of value-added versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world solutions and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you engage dynamically then you may also empower seamlessly. We will revolutionize the ability of virtual, long-term web services to brand. Without preplanned e-services, action-items are forced to become social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It may seem amazing, but it's true! A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to redefine defiantly. Think B2C2B. Think end-to-end. Think value-added, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate structuring reports, out-of-the-box CAE metrics are forced to become cross-platform. The CAD factor is magnetic. Have you ever been unable to expedite your functionality? Instantly? We will empower the power of users to brand. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We will expand our capability to exploit without devaluing our power to grow. If you monetize strategically, you may have to iterate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be fractal? The power to engage extensibly leads to the aptitude to empower extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary R&D and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be transparent? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of bleeding-edge research and development. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think mega-ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed Total Quality Control and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to drive proactively than to engage macro-dynamically. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based applications and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to grow transparently than to incentivize robustly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 24/7/365 metrics. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control but our capacity to harness. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Think nano-web-enabled. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think backward-compatible. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also facilitate interactively. Without adequate ultra-architectures, social networks are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "B2B2C, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think revolutionary, visionary. Think social-network-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.