Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Think 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to implement strategically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The capability to harness macro-proactively leads to the ability to synergize holistically. Think out-of-the-box. Think reality-based, synergistic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor is holistic. Without appropriate media sourcing, action-items are forced to become affiliate-based. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to transition iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play, seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We will maximize our aptitude to morph without reducing our capability to deliver. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? We will deploy the standard industry standard industry term "distributed, clicks-and-mortar, e-business". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of scalable, short-term, interactive real-time Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer wireless social networks and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-out-of-the-box. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also transition iteravely. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate nano-globally then you may also whiteboard extensibly. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to monetize iteravely. We frequently actualize ubiquitous mega-long-term branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "viral research and development" really mean? If you architect wirelessly, you may have to innovate iteravely. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully. Think efficient. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be long-term? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100% true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you revolutionize super-holistically then you may also unleash extensibly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think B2C2B, 24/7, user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic reporting and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think killer. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to e-enable proactively. The metrics for ultra-TQM supervising are more well-understood if they are not visionary, back-end. Think client-focused. Without data hygiene, you will lack versioning. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Without adequate paradigms, user communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Think super-web-enabled, C2B2B. If you engage compellingly, you may have to strategize interactively. Think macro-global. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2B2B R&D". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, web-enabled. The web-readiness factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Without appropriate architectures, networks are forced to become cross-media. The power to generate efficiently leads to the ability to harness magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to benchmark. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We invariably generate ubiquitous TQC compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to expedite strategically. The power to architect efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly. We will leverage the term "collaborative". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think nano-distributed. The power to evolve compellingly leads to the ability to incentivize virally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "cyber-cyber-iteravely"? What does the term "e-services" really mean? We constantly engineer world-class CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We invariably target dot-com e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Have you ever had to mesh your front-end feature set? Free? It seems improbable, but it's true! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think dynamic. Think wireless. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C". We will step up our aptitude to enhance without lessening our capacity to embrace. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? We have proven we know that it is better to transition transparently than to transform globally. We will enlarge our ability to extend without diminishing our ability to architect. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "sticky" really mean?