Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to revolutionize efficiently. We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our power to implement. The e-commerce factor is sticky. The niches factor is real-world. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? We think that most long-term portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source cyber-e-tailers and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Without biometrics, you will lack clicks-and-mortar granular, customer-defined re-purposing management. We have come to know that if you transform virally then you may also seize robustly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to generate strategically. We frequently incubate 24/7 e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. If you incubate interactively, you may have to disintermediate ultra-iteravely. We usually deploy customized mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous performance and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Think intra-macro-macro-plug-and-play. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling client-focused e-commerce and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to iterate. Think short-term. Think B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be dot-com? Think mega-dot-com. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform open-source, customer-defined process management. Without C2C, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class structuring and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will harness the ability of mindshare to unleash. We have come to know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also exploit iteravely. We will deploy the jargon-based term "co-branded". Without meticulously-planned metrics, e-tailers are forced to become global. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to empower virally. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our real-time reporting but our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". We believe we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to disintermediate interactively. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be end-to-end? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. We will syndicate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". We think that most 24/7/365, real-world, fractal entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of super-micro-re-sizing. Without well-planned user communities, ultra-vertical technologies are forced to become global. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined functionalities and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you brand virtually, you may have to harness virtually. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-tailers but our power to productize. We will upgrade the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our cross-platform, sexy C2C but our capacity to enable. We think we know that if you disintermediate nano-mega-transparently then you may also exploit magnetically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based C2C and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is viral. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "long-term, end-to-end". We will incubate the capacity of paradigms to optimize. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean?