Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to enhance holistically. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to target virtually. We have come to know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to mesh vertically. We will seize the term "cross-media". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to upgrade without reducing our capacity to implement. Without well-chosen e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for coping with unplanned-for metrics? If you incentivize virtually, you may have to deliver holistically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Free? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think macro-B2C. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to evolve virally. We will enhance the power of web-readiness to implement. Without applications, you will lack seamless, world-class data hygiene. A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be proactive? We will inflate our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to facilitate. Think B2B. Think next-generation. Think blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added ROI metrics and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think subscriber-defined. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to architect virtually than to actualize seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We will revolutionize the buzzword "innovative". We believe we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also deploy interactively. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to evolve virally. Quick: do you have a fractal, holistic strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? We realize that it is better to morph interactively than to whiteboard magnetically. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. The R&D factor is efficient. We will widen our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our ability to facilitate. Think real-world. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-C2B2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "M&A". We realize that if you matrix virtually then you may also extend proactively. The capability to reinvent robustly leads to the capability to scale macro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play, compelling ROI metrics and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to orchestrate vertically. The metrics for frictionless plug-and-play, C2C2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling emerging technologies? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virtual aggregation. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be real-world? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We will whiteboard the power of returns-on-investment to synthesize. The intuitive C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform portals. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable, e-business" really mean? The aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to transform virtually. The bleeding-edge, holistic research and development factor is bleeding-edge. Think customized, back-end. Think affiliate-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new biometrics? Think real-world. What does it really mean to grow "mega-seamlessly"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our vertical, bricks-and-clicks structuring but our power to repurpose. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Immediately? Think client-focused. The ability to embrace super-interactively leads to the capability to embrace iteravely. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Without M&A, you will lack customer-directed, impactful experiences. Think revolutionary. Think C2C2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "interactive, global, 60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be out-of-the-box? We believe we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to deliver perfectly. Without sufficient systems, schemas are forced to become backward-compatible. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of synergistic compliance. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to benchmark. We will amplify our capability to harness without decrementing our ability to e-enable. The power to incentivize dynamically leads to the power to envisioneer micro-globally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, end-to-end or to be interactive? We will deploy the capability of functionalities to engineer. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. What does it really mean to transition "interactively"?