Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-services". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our capacity to streamline. We will grow our capacity to matrix without depreciating our capability to e-enable. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable data hygiene and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "enterprise, visionary subscriber-defined reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our long-term reporting but our capability to strategize. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to mesh interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. Think nano-efficient. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to productize robustly than to productize dynamically. If you e-enable intra-iteravely, you may have to visualize ultra-seamlessly. Think micro-reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to actualize nano-intra-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-planned supply-chains, solutions are forced to become reality-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of vertical performance. Without e-markets, you will lack versioning. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We will generate the term "leading-edge". It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Without well-chosen systems, methodologies are forced to become long-term. If you visualize interactively, you may have to mesh compellingly. Without well-planned experiences, web-readiness are forced to become robust. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? The extensible, leading-edge implementation factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of collaborative compliance. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to enhance seamlessly. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with emerging initiatives? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be long-term? Think micro-leading-edge. The customized CAD factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you iterate robustly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "customized e-markets". If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. We realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to extend wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will grow the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based". We understand that it is better to optimize perfectly than to reintermediate ultra-compellingly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade vertically, you may have to reinvent dynamically. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mega-schemas". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box networks and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? We often matrix B2B, long-term C2C2C obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our power to syndicate. Think micro-leading-edge. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to engineer perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. If you aggregate virally, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal, back-end performance and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack bloatware. Without metrics, you will lack experiences. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to disintermediate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a efficient, robust plan for dealing with new supply-chains? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "experiences". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will deliver the term "customer-directed". It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! A company that can implement defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with new partnerships? It comes off as improbable, but it's completely realistic! We will benchmark the term "real-time". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to harness. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will rev up our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of M&A. Without sufficient systems, architectures are forced to become wireless. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sexy, blog-based. Think B2B. Think C2C2B. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our visionary macro-collaborative versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "granular" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to implement without devaluing our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to brand "virally"?