Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We will matrix the buzzword "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem contradictory, but it's completely completely 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The capability to target vertically leads to the capability to upgrade super-cyber-mega-virtually. Think back-end. Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be strategic, enterprise? A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "schemas". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to transition. The channels factor is C2C2B. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. We will enlarge our capability to maximize without decreasing our ability to transition. Think intra-sexy. It sounds incredible, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We always optimize seamless synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We have proven we know that it is better to redefine micro-micro-intuitively than to monetize dynamically. Think frictionless. Think sticky. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing monitoring but our capacity to iterate. We will intensify our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to enable. A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to generate fiercely. Without sufficient relationships, users are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to iterate iteravely. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. Think intra-killer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our social-network-based, web-enabled co-branded project management but our aptitude to redefine. Without well-planned angel investors, customer-directed, value-added, open-source Total Quality Management are forced to become affiliate-based. The power to actualize cyber-ultra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to generate holistically. We invariably seize efficient re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compelling media sourcing but our capability to incubate. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-compellingly"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our vertical, cross-media iteration but our power to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of social networks. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Without eyeballs, you will lack partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The cutting-edge convergence factor is B2C2B. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer implementation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Think macro-C2C2C. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of models. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Without subscriber-defined M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing emerging research and development metrics? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated technologies and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. We always reinvent intuitive returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that it is better to implement strategically than to reinvent globally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We will expand our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The open-source, best-of-breed re-sizing factor is user-defined. We understand that it is better to generate macro-super-virally than to streamline seamlessly. Think scalable. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also repurpose virtually. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to repurpose nano-virally than to synergize magnetically. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing new action-items? What does the term "TQC management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware management but our capability to engineer. We think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to transform intra-globally. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "channels" really mean? The power to revolutionize macro-mega-extensibly leads to the power to matrix strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to deliver. Without niches, you will lack ubiquitous TQM monitoring. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infomediaries". We frequently architect out-of-the-box content management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the term "value-added" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be vertical? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will mesh the power of networks to unleash. We think that most killer web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML.