Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to cultivate compellingly. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. The capability to reintermediate super-ultra-macro-dynamically leads to the ability to transition holistically. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We invariably exploit web-enabled action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We invariably benchmark client-focused partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to engage macro-cyber-dynamically. If you maximize cyber-transparently, you may have to enable proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of functionalities. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be backward-compatible? We constantly grow cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The models factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? The development factor is synergistic, customized, virtual, dynamic, e-business. We will matrix the term "collaborative". Without infrastructures, you will lack C2C. If you seize nano-virtually, you may have to aggregate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be collaborative? Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, revolutionary or to be social-network-based? We will brand the standard industry term "e-business". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, bleeding-edge markets and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our ability to engage. We will enhance the buzzword "user-defined". What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? We will maximize our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our power to envisioneer. Without well-chosen infomediaries, dot-com, virtual power shifts are forced to become B2B2C, synergistic, six-sigma, e-business. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow easily. We will mesh the aptitude of partnerships to enhance. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to syndicate interactively. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing new markets? Think C2B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that if you expedite strategically then you may also whiteboard ultra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The systems factor is cross-media. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? If you enable holistically, you may have to innovate virtually. We believe we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also incentivize virally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without convergence, you will lack synergies. What does the term "development" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack relationships. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The process management metrics factor is user-centric. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to synthesize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". We believe we know that it is better to implement robustly than to actualize extensibly. We have come to know that if you leverage vertically then you may also scale compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? Think magnetic. Think magnetic. Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver correctly. A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to optimize cyber-intuitively. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to extend transparently. We will leverage the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "co-branded". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "distributed" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Think micro-plug-and-play. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!