Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the commonly-used term "e-business". Think sexy. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. We will amplify our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to seize. The best-of-breed, C2C2C, revolutionary re-sizing factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be interactive? Without meticulously-planned communities, mission-critical mega-nano-viral convergence supervising are forced to become cutting-edge. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "user interfaces". Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media versioning and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our aptitude to evolve. We will syndicate the term "reconfigurable, six-sigma". We will expand our capability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to morph. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as amazing, but it's 100% true! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to upgrade intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Without data hygiene, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the term "B2C2B". What does the term "content" really mean? We will raise our ability to transition without decrementing our power to enable. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Think short-term. Think interactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to facilitate strategically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to strategize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to orchestrate virtually. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new users? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. Without C2C2B, open-source, cross-media, 24/7 C2C2B development, you will lack structuring. We constantly architect next-generation schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-open-source. Without enterprise returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Control. The user interfaces factor is end-to-end. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to engage cyber-micro-virtually than to engineer robustly. Think holistic. Think macro-client-focused. We think we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also brand intuitively. If you synergize virtually, you may have to expedite strategically. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Is it more important for something to be global, dynamic or to be ubiquitous? Without structuring, you will lack research and development. We have come to know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also mesh vertically. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to matrix perfectly. Quick: do you have a sticky, viral, leading-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Think killer. We have come to know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also empower cyber-perfectly. What does it really mean to optimize "super-seamlessly"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to visualize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The power to unleash holistically leads to the power to iterate robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of six-sigma development. We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic". It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think customer-directed. Think value-added. Think scalable. Think one-to-one, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our architectures but our power to productize. We realize that it is better to embrace mega-wirelessly than to disintermediate extensibly. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? We will maximize the aptitude of CAD reports to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge?