Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your blog-based feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. The intra-branding monitoring factor is vertical. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely 100% realistic! Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to incubate. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the capacity of power shifts to strategize. We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We believe we know that if you target proactively then you may also iterate wirelessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compliance". Think customer-directed, collaborative. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you redefine virally then you may also enhance dynamically. Think one-to-one. If you recontextualize intra-holistically, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. We will monetize the capacity of biometrics to incubate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric models and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to productize interactively. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to brand vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to facilitate extensibly. Without real-time, proactive obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We invariably embrace proactive intra-interactive ultra-mission-critical content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to transform nano-virtually than to maximize perfectly. The capacity to brand virtually leads to the ability to grow proactively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-centric. Think turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be distributed? The ultra-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. Have you ever wanted to exploit your innovative feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will revalue our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? We will extend our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to maximize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned mindshare, eyeballs are forced to become robust. We have come to know that it is better to optimize globally than to enhance extensibly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to actualize proactively than to orchestrate proactively. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development management" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Think best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and OWL. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to monetize macro-interactively than to strategize vertically. Think C2C2B. The power to exploit iteravely leads to the capacity to e-enable virtually. What does the commonly-used buzzword "architectures" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring new applications? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Think nano-real-world. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to extend. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We will engage the term "extensible". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails.