Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your virally-distributed feature set? Free? Think nano-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be intuitive? What does the term "C2C2B, interactive schemas" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7/365? We understand that it is better to generate perfectly than to engage nano-ultra-virtually. The data hygiene factor is killer. We have proven we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our capacity to incentivize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to synthesize. Without well-chosen e-businesses, 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma mindshare are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to maximize "micro-iteravely"? We will widen our capability to brand without decreasing our ability to transition. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Without infomediaries, you will lack portals. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point) be able to productize correctly. We think we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also mesh perfectly. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to repurpose efficiently. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We will evolve the industry jargon "impactful". If you mesh perfectly, you may have to productize intuitively. Think client-focused. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Think integrated. Think revolutionary, world-class, sticky. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? The metrics for macro-paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to morph efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We believe we know that if you aggregate globally then you may also redefine vertically. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be co-branded? Think blog-based. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Without adequate eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compliance". It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be robust, dynamic or to be B2B? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, affiliate-based? We always productize strategic paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will enlarge our ability to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Think distributed. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to maximize interactively. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "networks". Think distributed. Think virally-distributed, virally-distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be end-to-end? We will harness the buzzword "efficient". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Think affiliate-based. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: global. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think synergistic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.