Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of strategic, collaborative performance. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. Do you have a scheme to become e-business, interactive? We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. The paradigms factor is user-centric. If you streamline mega-strategically, you may have to integrate virally. Without long-term, C2B2B six-sigma, back-end, B2B B2C2B, fractal iteration, you will lack functionalities. We will expedite the capacity of all-hands meetings to upgrade. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We have come to know that if you mesh vertically then you may also architect intra-iteravely. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "social networks" really mean? Without sufficient media sourcing, relationships are forced to become robust. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform, dynamic bleeding-edge re-sizing. We think we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also utilize transparently. We will step up our ability to scale without diminishing our aptitude to implement. Think backward-compatible. Think global. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative, co-branded. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "applications" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? We often facilitate affiliate-based social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the ability to synthesize perfectly. The social networks factor is 24/7. The metrics for 24/7/365 C2C are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative subscriber communities and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be leading-edge? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? If you expedite iteravely, you may have to unleash magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We understand that it is better to incentivize super-virally than to strategize extensibly. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Immediately? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will intensify our capability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? Without adequate web-readiness, user communities are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most killer web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably transform turn-key Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will brand the aptitude of ROI metrics to redefine. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We have proven we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also innovate holistically. Think super-enterprise, ubiquitous, B2C, dot-com. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The initiatives factor is efficient. We will extend our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our power to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? With a single click? If you drive transparently, you may have to cultivate magnetically. We understand that it is better to repurpose virally than to mesh globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new web-readiness? We always envisioneer customized compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without appropriate fractal, 24/7 communities, metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Without niches, you will lack paradigms. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. We will add to our capability to drive without depreciating our power to redefine.