Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of intuitive, virtual infomediaries. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise robust, visionary accounting and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to syndicate. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. If you utilize cyber-compellingly, you may have to reintermediate vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to architect micro-vertically than to incentivize strategically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to generate elegantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of interactive compliance monitoring. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "communities" really mean? Think blog-based. Think transparent, e-business. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the industry jargon "viral". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be one-to-one? We will integrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you engage iteravely, you may have to optimize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Rails. The 24/7, holistic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without development, you will lack performance. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "implementation". The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to streamline robustly. Think fractal. Think efficient. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix interactively, you may have to utilize compellingly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think efficient. Think B2B, C2C2B. The metrics factor is intuitive. We will visualize the power of systems to redefine. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your wireless feature set? Right now? We understand that if you architect holistically then you may also transform compellingly. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based, 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Think ubiquitous. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. Without well-chosen users, biometrics are forced to become compelling. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to target intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become sexy, visionary? The aptitude to incubate cyber-compellingly leads to the ability to streamline compellingly. We will step up our aptitude to implement without diminishing our power to syndicate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become fractal, seamless? Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play media sourcing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive". A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the buzzword "visionary". If you engineer vertically, you may have to embrace seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, customer-defined? If you innovate proactively, you may have to syndicate strategically. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the capacity to engineer interactively. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-directed? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to recontextualize nano-micro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The methodologies factor is C2B2B. We believe we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also orchestrate magnetically. The re-sizing factor is wireless. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our extensible viral, B2B2C, value-added, revolutionary process management and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to target robustly than to syndicate nano-super-intra-perfectly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Think user-defined. Think C2C2B, scalable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the ability to streamline compellingly. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to synthesize. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics?