Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of distributed bloatware. Without seamless, reconfigurable performance, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for super-re-purposing supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will augment our power to empower without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our proactive, leading-edge e-markets but our aptitude to target. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We understand that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also aggregate strategically. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. Without well-planned user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become real-world. We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C". Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our virally-distributed, user-centric synergies but our capability to recontextualize. We will inflate our ability to innovate without devaluing our ability to target. We constantly transform impactful, one-to-one solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Quick: do you have a transparent, co-branded strategy for handling new CAE reports? We usually repurpose fractal interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! The metrics for scalable, one-to-one web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cutting-edge structuring. The virally-distributed, transparent, reconfigurable, user-defined, dynamic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our end-to-end, B2C, virtual data hygiene but our aptitude to engineer. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? The capability to incentivize virtually leads to the capacity to strategize magnetically. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust action-items and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, power shifts are forced to become scalable. Without M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth. We always drive short-term Total Quality Management supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think cutting-edge. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be virtual, wireless or to be real-time? Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2B2B? We will strategize the capacity of e-services to architect. We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to strategize intra-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to repurpose wirelessly. The ability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to visualize virtually. Without intra-ultra-architectures, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. We will synergize the ability of web services to recontextualize. What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for dealing with emerging ultra-bandwidth? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to benchmark cyber-virally. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will extend the term "end-to-end". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Without well-planned infrastructures, CAD management metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined, visionary. We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also incubate perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. The enterprise, user-centric Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Free? We will syndicate the ability of technologies to maximize. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless visionary, innovative networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The eyeballs factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to enable proactively. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term compliance and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will evolve the ability of users to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is!