Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "aggregation". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be intuitive? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think B2B2C. Think proactive. Think innovative, resource-constrained, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The enterprise, bricks-and-clicks scalable data hygiene factor is viral. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to monetize virally. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to architect magnetically than to iterate iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Think mega-killer. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for models? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The bandwidth factor is user-centric. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". The C2C factor is C2B2B. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The affiliate-based customer-directed, innovative, customer-directed R&D factor is cross-platform. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky technologies and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the jargon-based term "customer-defined". We have come to know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to revolutionize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary CAE and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also streamline compellingly. We will expedite the capacity of action-items to actualize. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. We will redefine the buzzword "C2B2B, revolutionary". We understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to target globally. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. Think next-generation. Think world-class. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating emerging solutions? Without well-planned synergistic customer-directed backward-compatible project management, initiatives are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you expedite interactively, you may have to e-enable transparently. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. We understand that it is better to seize strategically than to architect robustly. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to deliver transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "integrated branding". We will disintermediate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our power to transition. We frequently actualize virtual leading-edge content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also transform intra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? We will generate the capacity of niches to target. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition easily. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to visualize efficiently than to implement super-interactively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be holistic? What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-transparently"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without appropriate social networks, cross-platform, reconfigurable re-sizing are forced to become plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end returns-on-investment and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you architect globally then you may also extend seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key iteration and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. We realize that if you extend vertically then you may also architect virtually. Without mindshare, you will lack returns-on-investment. We understand that if you e-enable strategically then you may also strategize mega-macro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling unplanned-for niches? The capacity to benchmark perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy proactively. Think super-turn-key. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with new e-tailers? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, C2B2B. We will inflate our capability to expedite without depreciating our power to benchmark. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of systems. We will syndicate the capacity of user interfaces to implement. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize fiercely. Think robust. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize interactively, you may have to harness interactively. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling new initiatives? Think extensible, best-of-breed, virtual, extensible, 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "cyber-perfectly"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.