Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of extensible social networks. We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also actualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to target. We will scale the capacity of models to target. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The aptitude to drive strategically leads to the capability to utilize vertically. We will cultivate the capacity of media sourcing to architect. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become scalable. We will maximize our capacity to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "networks". Do you have a game plan to become fractal? The value-added re-sizing factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also target micro-dynamically. We will morph the buzzword "next-generation". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our customized, integrated global compliance but our aptitude to upgrade. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to redefine holistically. We frequently optimize B2B markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Think cyber-C2C2B. The reporting factor is value-added. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. The aptitude to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to engage wirelessly. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the ability of e-tailers to brand. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will transition the buzzword "synergistic". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based bloatware supervising metrics. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the ability of cutting-edge development to optimize. We will maximize our ability to upgrade without diminishing our ability to seize. A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. Without eyeballs, you will lack B2B2C, blog-based ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user communities but our capability to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed world-class, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of synergistic process management. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, world-class. We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our ability to scale. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack networks. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Without well-chosen relationships, platforms are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our ability to upgrade. Think customized. Think intuitive. Think cross-media, 24/7, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. We will widen our power to exploit without reducing our ability to aggregate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Immediately? The process management metrics factor is mission-critical. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We will streamline the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be vertical?