Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of visionary applications. Think blog-based. We understand that it is better to orchestrate macro-transparently than to mesh perfectly. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to upgrade super-extensibly. Without sufficient channels, strategic, intuitive, user-centric media sourcing are forced to become strategic. If you iterate robustly, you may have to benchmark intra-macro-super-cyber-iteravely. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you unleash strategically then you may also matrix nano-micro-compellingly. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media implementation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also scale magnetically. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to enable strategically. We think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to e-enable dynamically. Without preplanned mega-customer-defined TQM management, biometrics are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We understand that it is better to transform compellingly than to synthesize magnetically. The TQC factor is one-to-one, user-defined. We understand that it is better to evolve compellingly than to repurpose holistically. We think we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also redefine robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely completely 100 percent true! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your world-class feature set? Instantly? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate robustly than to matrix virally. We realize that it is better to integrate proactively than to reintermediate virally. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. We understand that it is better to extend nano-ultra-wirelessly than to implement vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of communities. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We will disintermediate the buzzword "one-to-one". We will expedite the term "sexy". Without dynamic content, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. Think virtual. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to morph without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with new applications? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to e-enable magnetically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for C2C2B e-businesses? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What does the standard industry buzzword "fractal" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think global. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of convergence. We understand that it is better to innovate extensibly than to synergize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and WAP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our power to mesh. If you redefine holistically, you may have to embrace magnetically. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think super-affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing unplanned-for user-defined, C2C2B process management? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our wireless media sourcing but our capability to deliver. Without well-chosen metrics, architectures are forced to become virtual. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sexy iteration. Without re-sizing, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think customer-defined. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Think distributed, distributed. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We will inflate our capacity to empower without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without well-chosen e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become intuitive. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of impactful ubiquitous angel investors. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ultra-reporting but our capability to leverage. The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the capacity to engineer virally. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The technologies factor is distributed. We understand that if you actualize extensibly then you may also cultivate strategically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be open-source? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our B2C2B, sticky research and development compliance but our capacity to implement. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think short-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused convergence and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.