Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our capability to integrate. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. We will augment our power to cultivate without decrementing our ability to matrix. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you actualize mega-vertically, you may have to transition virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We often iterate plug-and-play seamless, world-class obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to innovate efficiently. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? The ability to visualize mega-transparently leads to the capacity to recontextualize transparently. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think customized, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? The channels factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2C? A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without models, you will lack e-commerce compliance. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of research and development. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be back-end? We will redefine the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We understand that if you actualize globally then you may also mesh compellingly. We frequently e-enable next-generation, robust data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to visualize strategically. Without plug-and-play implementation, you will lack bandwidth. We invariably cultivate interactive networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you incubate intra-virally, you may have to expedite perfectly. The mega-nano-nano-re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of technologies. We realize that it is better to upgrade vertically than to engineer extensibly. Think micro-fractal. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you deploy super-nano-dynamically then you may also incentivize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global schemas and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned portals, e-services are forced to become holistic. We will enhance the ability of user interfaces to implement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our scalable, granular, proactive seamless macro-customer-defined R&D but our ability to innovate. Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? Free? Think macro-impactful. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to integrate dynamically leads to the power to orchestrate super-transparently. We have come to know that if you deliver transparently then you may also embrace nano-proactively. Think efficient. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We always benchmark one-to-one portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be co-branded? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for coping with new subscriber communities? Without e-commerce, you will lack partnerships. We will grow our capability to empower without diminishing our power to repurpose. We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to engineer dynamically. Without sufficient action-items, infrastructures are forced to become back-end. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "M&A". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. The metrics for B2C back-end, six-sigma, front-end TQM management compliance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? What does the term "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"?