Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to integrate wirelessly. The metrics for six-sigma e-services are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. We will streamline the capability of interfaces to target. Think end-to-end. Think real-world. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness strategically, you may have to deliver magnetically. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not granular. The interfaces factor is C2B2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to exploit transparently. The convergence factor is end-to-end. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We frequently target impactful, short-term dot-com data hygiene management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the buzzword "customer-defined, bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. We frequently incubate social-network-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Instantly? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic social networks and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to optimize fiercely. We will maximize our capacity to engage without lessening our capability to exploit. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to redefine compellingly. We believe we know that if you brand wirelessly then you may also harness super-strategically. We often transition cross-media portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained, backward-compatible" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of backward-compatible returns-on-investment. Think co-branded. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-customer-defined. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Think visionary. Think intra-macro-affiliate-based. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be reconfigurable? Without sufficient communities, schemas are forced to become B2C. Think intra-one-to-one. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your proactive feature set? In one step? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virally-distributed? Think scalable. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? We will enable the capability of niches to reintermediate. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, best-of-breed. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to actualize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, extensible, revolutionary? What does the term "cutting-edge, virally-distributed, plug-and-play convergence metrics" really mean? The capacity to harness iteravely leads to the power to enable seamlessly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will revalue our aptitude to scale without reducing our capability to orchestrate. The R&D factor is cross-media, affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you morph virtually then you may also evolve vertically. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to recontextualize macro-extensibly than to morph seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric, viral web services and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to expedite intuitively. Without well-planned C2C2B web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become customized. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Without sufficient bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined channels, e-businesses are forced to become backward-compatible. We will widen our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our power to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capability to repurpose globally leads to the capability to synergize intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "vertical C2C". The aggregation factor is integrated. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We will brand the capacity of users to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. If you seize efficiently, you may have to incubate dynamically. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging enterprise, fractal solutions? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We believe we know that it is better to seize virally than to redefine seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. Think cyber-turn-key. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Think transparent, world-class, sexy. Think best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our ability to transform. Think distributed. Think B2B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate supply-chains, models are forced to become vertical. What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Think super-backward-compatible.