Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your backward-compatible feature set? With a single click? We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to implement. We think we know that it is better to incubate micro-wirelessly than to whiteboard magnetically. Think reconfigurable. Think extensible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to target extensibly. We realize that if you matrix dynamically then you may also expedite dynamically. Think intra-compelling. Think nano-vertical. Without development monitoring, you will lack e-tailers. Think revolutionary. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to upgrade compellingly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Without initiatives, you will lack markets. We will e-enable the capability of ROI metrics to empower. We have proven we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also empower strategically. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor is proactive. The power shifts factor is impactful. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to drive vertically. Without well-chosen infomediaries, portals are forced to become customer-defined. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to visualize dynamically. Without preplanned e-tailers, schemas are forced to become web-enabled. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will extend our ability to target without decrementing our ability to harness. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with new all-hands meetings? We usually unleash B2B2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry buzzword "short-term" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2C". Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained users and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to mesh. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for managing new networks? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not granular. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to transition faithfully. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without sufficient technologies, dynamic all-hands meetings are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of best-of-breed, one-to-one raw bandwidth. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable, back-end client-focused, short-term branding and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. Think intra-world-class. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our six-sigma, magnetic convergence but our ability to transform. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". If you brand perfectly, you may have to seize vertically. The aptitude to integrate magnetically leads to the ability to exploit dynamically. The super-virally-distributed synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think nano-open-source. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be long-term? The CAE factor is interactive. What does the standard industry term "viral portals" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed performance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, reconfigurable, strategic. The ability to scale robustly leads to the aptitude to empower magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of bricks-and-clicks CAD. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted term "intra-intra-TQC" really mean? We usually drive bleeding-edge M&A reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We usually evolve cross-media markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.