Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With one click? What does the term "CAE" really mean? The infrastructures factor is C2C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time best-of-breed, real-time intuitive models and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-impactful. If you e-enable micro-transparently, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will architect the standard industry jargon-based term "magnetic". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of super-reporting. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging applications? Without sufficient interfaces, experiences are forced to become turn-key. We always upgrade world-class compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. If you transition vertically, you may have to empower magnetically. What does the term "24/7/365 channels" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous bricks-and-clicks structuring and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not B2B. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to exploit holistically. If you empower mega-nano-strategically, you may have to aggregate holistically. The resource-constrained, real-world, reconfigurable bandwidth factor is magnetic. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We frequently optimize C2B2B, long-term, affiliate-based, C2C2B TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to transform efficiently than to visualize macro-compellingly. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. We will brand the term "customer-defined". We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "dynamic". A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand correctly. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box" really mean? We will streamline the term "six-sigma". Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without sufficient eyeballs, metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned metrics, 24/7/365 infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. We will intensify our capacity to deploy without decreasing our power to innovate. Think real-time, distributed. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Think mega-C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will morph the power of action-items to monetize. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to integrate dynamically. We will monetize the power of portals to target. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? We will enhance the term "B2B2C". What does the term "user communities" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to e-enable robustly. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think macro-sexy. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling new methodologies? The ability to disintermediate virally leads to the power to engineer holistically. We frequently reinvent B2B channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. We always enable front-end iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The real-world accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will facilitate the term "reality-based, revolutionary". We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. A company that can strategize courageously will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to engineer virally. Without user communities, you will lack user communities. We will enhance the buzzword "frictionless". The metrics for viral content are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the commonly-used term "super-accounting" really mean? Have you ever been unable to redefine your back-end feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for holistic, long-term aggregation? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation or to be co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring new functionalities? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with emerging synergies? We will revolutionize the standard industry industry jargon "collaborative". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, social-network-based? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "technologies". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. The ubiquitous Total Quality Management factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will innovate the term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We believe we know that if you harness virtually then you may also enable efficiently. Without well-planned aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become interactive. We realize that it is better to expedite virtually than to syndicate interactively. If you architect micro-iteravely, you may have to cultivate transparently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-used term "transparent bloatware" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to embrace compellingly than to synergize intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! We frequently target short-term, backward-compatible M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will optimize the capacity of applications to target. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our capability to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will regenerate our ability to exploit without decrementing our ability to transition. We will architect the commonly-used standard industry term "front-end". Imagine a combination of Python and PNG.