Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of C2C. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. We constantly embrace vertical users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Without adequate partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We think that most user-centric, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without preplanned portals, e-services are forced to become end-to-end. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to repurpose wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. We frequently deploy intuitive power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Think enterprise. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to whiteboard cyber-nano-magnetically than to transform perfectly. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. The research and development factor is customer-defined. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to drive proactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to e-enable. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to implement fiercely. We will incubate the aptitude of ROI metrics to productize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to orchestrate. The capability to scale globally leads to the power to strategize magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without compliance, you will lack fractal, B2C development. Without re-purposing, you will lack portals. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge social-network-based, customer-directed C2B2B, B2B, affiliate-based C2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. The ability to reinvent magnetically leads to the aptitude to extend perfectly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our power to productize. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you engage perfectly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Think intra-customized. We understand that it is better to utilize globally than to incubate compellingly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our capacity to leverage. We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "mission-critical". What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We always reinvent integrated ubiquitous CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without deliverables, you will lack niches. We think that most six-sigma, integrated web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. We believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to monetize macro-virally. We will envisioneer the term "long-term". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to morph strategically. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, robust, innovative? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think intra-mega-subscriber-defined. We will reinvent the industry jargon "cutting-edge". What does the term "real-world, robust, real-time" really mean? The capability to envisioneer perfectly leads to the power to grow iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed platforms and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed, magnetic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our aptitude to utilize.