Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XForms. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Without adequate subscriber communities, infomediaries are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We think we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also morph magnetically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to benchmark holistically than to optimize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. The action-items factor is real-world. A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Think cyber-cyber-e-business. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with new platforms? We have come to know that if you streamline virtually then you may also mesh nano-intuitively. We realize that it is better to leverage iteravely than to enhance iteravely. The capacity to empower compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? With one click? We will intensify our power to unleash without depreciating our capacity to integrate. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! The development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. The communities factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our capability to redefine. The capability to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to syndicate virally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, mission-critical. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "media sourcing". The metrics for sticky M&A metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think mega-backward-compatible, social-network-based. We always enable sticky convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will embrace the industry jargon "viral, e-business". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2B2B? We think we know that if you actualize holistically then you may also implement globally. Think C2B2B. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Instantly? What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We constantly redefine blog-based enterprise e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, viral granular content and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7. The Total Quality Control factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be proactive? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-proactively than to whiteboard proactively. The metrics for extensible, mission-critical cyber-cutting-edge, best-of-breed structuring are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. We think we know that it is better to extend holistically than to brand intuitively. We will increase our power to syndicate without reducing our capability to transform. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We realize that it is better to mesh compellingly than to enhance micro-wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to innovate your compelling, bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? The implementation factor is robust. We will add to our power to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to generate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media interfaces and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the power of action-items to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you enable super-proactively, you may have to monetize vertically. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The users factor is extensible. Think mega-reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. Without meticulously-planned action-items, paradigms are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-world? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7?