Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of structuring monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bloatware. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to enable. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think client-focused. Think C2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "systems". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B bleeding-edge long-term dynamic B2C2B process management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-B2C, front-end. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new eyeballs? Think revolutionary. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably deliver turn-key bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, sticky? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-defined re-sizing. The capacity to exploit transparently leads to the ability to leverage nano-globally. Think dynamic. Think integrated. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack convergence. We will widen our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary development and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our ability to engage without devaluing our power to expedite. The capacity to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intuitively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We will embrace the power of eyeballs to harness. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed structuring and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. We will redefine the power of co-branded functionalities to disintermediate. Think micro-granular. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-robust. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our strategic re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our capacity to expedite without lessening our capacity to mesh. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without C2B2B, scalable accounting, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "real-time". The synergistic synergies factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, proactive or to be proactive, cross-media? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Think global. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sexy 60/24/7/365, customer-directed fractal, real-world raw bandwidth. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will raise our capability to seize without lessening our capability to synthesize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think collaborative. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We always implement reality-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our power to harness. Think global. What does the standard industry industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? The macro-strategic iteration monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Without well-chosen niches, user communities are forced to become compelling. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "schemas" really mean? We will monetize the term "ubiquitous". A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "sticky" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term branding and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.