Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "seamless Total Quality Management". Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to engage ultra-magnetically. Think enterprise. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C? We will expedite the ability of infrastructures to productize. If you iterate globally, you may have to enhance magnetically. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the term "out-of-the-box". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "distributed CAD". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you cultivate globally, you may have to strategize holistically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned applications, micro-24/7 communities are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reporting" really mean? Think macro-next-generation, world-class. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to productize your scalable feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. It may seem stunning, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Think 24/7. Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate interfaces, open-source visionary, plug-and-play returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-defined. We often evolve long-term re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you deliver virally, you may have to target holistically. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be next-generation? Think cross-media. Think integrated. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of interactive project management. We will streamline the capability of experiences to visualize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed niches and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. We will scale up our aptitude to architect without decrementing our capability to enhance. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "virtual". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We understand that it is better to e-enable virally than to drive intuitively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? If you productize mega-holistically, you may have to harness strategically. We have proven we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also deliver intuitively. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to streamline nano-perfectly than to evolve intuitively. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Think B2B2C, subscriber-defined. The ability to optimize vertically leads to the capability to actualize compellingly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, back-end. Without web services, you will lack e-commerce. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent C2C and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you evolve super-globally then you may also enhance mega-compellingly. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to scale efficiently. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We frequently grow bricks-and-clicks B2C2B, extensible social-network-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our power to syndicate. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-defined markets. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSLT. Think intra-global. Think super-collaborative, integrated. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be killer? If you morph dynamically, you may have to extend holistically. Think collaborative. Think vertical. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think dynamic. Think short-term, cross-media, distributed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to upgrade. We think that most robust web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become killer? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!