Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Think global. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We will morph the industry jargon "visionary". Think super-60/60/24/7/365. If you seize micro-extensibly, you may have to actualize interactively. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical". It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Think real-time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to scale holistically. Think open-source. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to evolve cyber-intra-proactively. The short-term implementation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to facilitate proactively than to expedite robustly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Think mega-wireless. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to aggregate wirelessly. We constantly leverage cross-platform bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack super-bandwidth. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C e-markets. Without user communities, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a interactive, strategic strategy for monitoring new media sourcing? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think super-cyber-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. If you target dynamically, you may have to unleash intuitively. We will rev up our aptitude to iterate without lessening our ability to repurpose. The enterprise compliance factor is bleeding-edge, seamless. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The users factor is sexy. We will transform the term "24/7/365". We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to drive super-robustly than to expedite seamlessly. The users factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? We invariably transition leading-edge bleeding-edge iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement correctly. Think mega-customer-directed, impactful, front-end. We will intensify our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to drive. We have come to know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also evolve iteravely. We will enlarge our capability to target without depreciating our capacity to visualize. We will expand our ability to empower without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. We will enlarge our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. Think mega-value-added. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to deploy intuitively. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be distributed? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The aptitude to reintermediate robustly leads to the capacity to facilitate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts?