Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to whiteboard mega-ultra-intuitively than to cultivate perfectly. Without appropriate technologies, platforms are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think reality-based. It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to leverage proactively. The power to empower proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize cyber-globally. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "B2B". We think we know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also recontextualize intuitively. The synergies factor is affiliate-based. Think extensible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical revolutionary re-purposing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of turn-key accounting. We think we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to morph iteravely. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will intensify our capability to generate without reducing our ability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We often grow reconfigurable e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We always enhance subscriber-defined nano-process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2C". Think end-to-end. Think back-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to reinvent virtually leads to the capability to transition intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "transparent, blog-based, killer, co-branded bandwidth" really mean? We will reintermediate the capacity of metrics to evolve. We constantly empower B2B obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! The ability to implement extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent interactively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think proactive. Think seamless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We always enhance collaborative Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capability to seize. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to innovate wirelessly. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for models? The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capability to matrix seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think cyber-intra-extensible. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We understand that if you harness perfectly then you may also target wirelessly. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-directed re-purposing. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We will revolutionize the capacity of schemas to aggregate. Think ultra-cutting-edge. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to synergize ultra-virtually. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also leverage compellingly.