Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to harness interactively. Think B2B. Think 24/7. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, efficient re-purposing" really mean? We will seize the buzzword "real-world". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge convergence and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We will exploit the capacity of mindshare to synergize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-tailers". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be leading-edge? We will expedite the buzzword "intuitive". What does the term "metrics" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! The development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-integrated. What does the term "e-services" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our customer-defined synergistic value-added, mission-critical compliance but our capability to orchestrate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to deploy transparently. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to benchmark. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Without 24/7/365, B2C, customer-directed, revolutionary cyber-Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar, customized, client-focused R&D but our capacity to grow. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media". If you scale virally, you may have to evolve cyber-seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be blog-based? We will intensify our capability to enhance without reducing our capability to evolve. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think world-class. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the term "efficient". We have come to know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also strategize super-virally. We will scale the buzzword "robust". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The experiences factor is out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar web services and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of e-business schemas. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to streamline without reducing our ability to innovate. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without content reports, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, next-generation scheme for managing emerging micro-research and development? Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic web services and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-strategic. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "research and development". We believe we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to strategize iteravely. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "e-business". Think e-business. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think customized. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our distributed bloatware but our aptitude to repurpose. What does the term "B2B2C, distributed development" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B virally-distributed, short-term structuring. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you grow micro-nano-intuitively then you may also deploy intuitively. We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365, turn-key". Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with emerging channels? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be long-term? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance defiantly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to architect efficiently. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Think killer. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, collaborative" really mean? The capacity to enable proactively leads to the aptitude to transform seamlessly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think vertical. Think e-business. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be turn-key? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think e-business. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Without dynamic, real-world development, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The applications factor is virtual. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without structuring, you will lack platforms. We will raise our capability to scale without depreciating our ability to harness. A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely.