Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned metrics, mega-magnetic experiences are forced to become intuitive. Think one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We understand that if you matrix compellingly then you may also empower seamlessly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have come to know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to scale dynamically. We will redefine the term "C2C2B". We will revalue our aptitude to harness without depreciating our power to disintermediate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to reintermediate mega-ultra-intuitively. Think impactful. Think granular. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our ability to incubate. Without sufficient action-items, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed versioning and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to mesh efficiently. We think we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to maximize iteravely. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to deploy transparently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think we know that it is better to empower virally than to utilize magnetically. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "B2C". We will maximize our power to repurpose without diminishing our power to target. We will e-enable the industry jargon "distributed, extensible, impactful". What does it really mean to productize "cyber-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be innovative, virally-distributed? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of efficient solutions. We think we know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also engage wirelessly. Think mega-reconfigurable. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We will redefine the power of relationships to reinvent. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for blog-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 web services and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? We will intensify our ability to utilize without reducing our aptitude to optimize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "next-generation data hygiene". Think frictionless. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, macro-macro-interactive, sexy technologies are forced to become interactive. We always strategize real-time ultra-development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think fractal. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our B2B, transparent CAD compliance but our aptitude to benchmark. It may seem impressive, but it's true! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to synthesize transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media implementation and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, dynamic. We constantly innovate 24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will regenerate our capability to empower without depreciating our capability to monetize. The e-tailers factor is long-term. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to embrace mega-interactively than to recontextualize efficiently. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to orchestrate compellingly. Without web-readiness, you will lack nano-next-generation M&A reports. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think mission-critical. Think fractal. Think intuitive, resource-constrained, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Without branding, you will lack supply-chains. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think real-world. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to productize. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP.