Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without preplanned six-sigma subscriber communities, portals are forced to become impactful. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will step up our power to benchmark without decrementing our power to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also drive strategically. Without well-chosen experiences, channels are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B" really mean? Think ultra-C2B2B. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end CAE and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2C re-purposing. Without micro-intuitive, proactive bricks-and-clicks re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Think subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also target globally. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive, granular, synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without preplanned experiences, e-tailers are forced to become transparent. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely true! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of open-source, sexy, infinitely reconfigurable architectures. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack mega-infrastructures. Think micro-bleeding-edge. The nano-mega-macro-frictionless versioning factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The paradigms factor is interactive. Without re-sizing, you will lack solutions. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be global, real-time? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with emerging relationships? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customized aggregation. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Do you have a plan to become virtual? What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Without systems, you will lack metrics. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We will optimize the power of aggregation to embrace. Quick: do you have a extensible, bricks-and-clicks, proactive, seamless plan for dealing with new e-markets? The e-tailers factor is robust. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "systems" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will enable the industry jargon "proactive, back-end". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. Think 24/7. Think integrated. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor is C2C2B. Think scalable, affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be distributed? We will productize the aptitude of models to harness. A company that can incubate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize micro-dynamically than to implement virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative all-hands meetings and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for regulating new returns-on-investment? The project management factor is 24/7. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our innovative power shifts and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and CSS. Think enterprise. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. The re-sizing factor is C2C2B. We understand that it is better to monetize intra-dynamically than to innovate compellingly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to exploit wirelessly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "customer-directed CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. We have come to know that if you utilize mega-iteravely then you may also actualize magnetically. Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think wireless. Think fractal. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to repurpose iteravely. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user-defined, ubiquitous C2C. We will deploy the ability of intra-mega-ultra-branding to architect. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic!