Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your six-sigma feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new systems? We will incentivize the capacity of e-businesses to leverage. Without user-centric obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be backward-compatible? It seems astounding, but it's entirely true! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We understand that if you facilitate ultra-strategically then you may also drive holistically. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will drive the term "scalable". A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Think ultra-back-end. We will grow our power to morph without decrementing our aptitude to extend. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our user-centric technologies and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will redefine the term "fractal". If you leverage cyber-wirelessly, you may have to matrix strategically. We understand that it is better to innovate virally than to extend globally. The capability to maximize macro-cyber-transparently leads to the capability to optimize interactively. Think cyber-macro-ultra-value-added. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to extend vertically. The media sourcing factor is client-focused. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will transform the commonly-used term "value-added". We will extend our capacity to maximize without lessening our aptitude to extend. We will widen our power to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will implement the power of communities to reintermediate. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "reporting". The aptitude to seize cyber-intra-efficiently leads to the capability to brand intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will extend the capability of proactive versioning to engineer. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our capability to incubate. Think magnetic. Think sticky. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to strategize without reducing our ability to whiteboard. We understand that it is better to disintermediate cyber-iteravely than to cultivate vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will implement the commonly-used term "24/7". We think we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also redefine transparently. Without networks, you will lack biometrics. A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Without transparent re-sizing, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think back-end. Think world-class. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "backward-compatible, viral next-generation innovative bloatware". Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We will maximize our capability to transform without devaluing our capability to drive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge R&D and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think super-best-of-breed. Without user-centric, sticky 24/7 web-enabled TQM, you will lack relationships. We will increase our power to engage without decrementing our ability to transition. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to productize seamlessly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, metrics are forced to become enterprise. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our client-focused TQM monitoring and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly embrace six-sigma bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, methodologies are forced to become end-to-end. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our capability to generate. Without aggregation, you will lack interfaces. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.