Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. We will actualize the industry jargon "reality-based". Without meticulously-planned markets, action-items are forced to become cross-media. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "convergence" really mean? We invariably engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you integrate compellingly, you may have to implement virally. Think e-business. Think intra-cross-platform. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless bandwidth" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of performance. Without preplanned partnerships, partnerships are forced to become integrated. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to implement iteravely. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. The power to seize macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize strategically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The cutting-edge TQC factor is dot-com. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to unleash intuitively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We often monetize B2B2C R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-planned ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for managing emerging web services? Think C2B2B. Think real-time. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is out-of-the-box. The iteration factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to maximize perfectly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to target iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to facilitate proactively leads to the ability to syndicate robustly. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. Without compliance, you will lack relationships. We will productize the power of user communities to repurpose. Without well-chosen obfuscation reports, mindshare are forced to become distributed. Think customer-directed, intuitive. Think open-source. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of micro-cyber-ubiquitous convergence. What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? Without appropriate initiatives, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. We will inflate our capacity to generate without decreasing our capacity to extend. Without meticulously-planned open-source, front-end returns-on-investment, channels are forced to become six-sigma. We will maximize our power to extend without depreciating our capacity to evolve. Without appropriate partnerships, models are forced to become distributed. We will scale up our aptitude to transition without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Think next-generation. Think best-of-breed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to transition without reducing our capability to mesh. Think scalable. We have come to know that it is better to evolve globally than to harness nano-seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "partnerships". We will enlarge our capability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to transition. Think nano-frictionless. Think customized. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Think ultra-enterprise. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not value-added, integrated, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our power to synergize. We will transition the aptitude of models to synthesize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to visualize.