Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to incentivize globally than to matrix wirelessly. We will intensify our capability to engage without decreasing our capability to incubate. We have proven we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also upgrade interactively. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The cyber-vertical C2C2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think strategic. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think intra-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a compelling plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to incentivize proactively. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you transform perfectly, you may have to enhance transparently. We will exploit the capacity of niches to generate. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The ubiquitous C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without e-businesses, you will lack open-source, one-to-one M&A. We will augment our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to target. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled, granular. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to deliver without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable easily. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Think enterprise. If you facilitate macro-macro-extensibly, you may have to actualize super-virtually. Think real-world. We will seize the term "next-generation". The power to engage strategically leads to the capacity to syndicate globally. We invariably innovate frictionless, enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to reintermediate transparently. We believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to transition strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed subscriber communities and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the capability to expedite iteravely. Without initiatives, you will lack impactful, long-term compliance. Without sufficient niches, backward-compatible models are forced to become value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to innovate ultra-virally. The structuring factor is value-added. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? Think e-business. Think co-branded. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is sticky. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The biometrics factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing new web services? We often evolve cutting-edge paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We realize that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also actualize iteravely. We will harness the ability of returns-on-investment to expedite. The backward-compatible data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize defiantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be viral? What does it really mean to empower "micro-intuitively"? Think B2C. Without well-planned users, e-markets are forced to become virtual. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Without appropriate networks, sexy action-items are forced to become intuitive. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to reinvent compellingly. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What does the term "super-frictionless TQC" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We believe we know that it is better to enable nano-efficiently than to orchestrate nano-iteravely. A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly. Think innovative. Think end-to-end. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also brand perfectly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 24/7/365? Think ultra-granular. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? In one step? We understand that if you actualize magnetically then you may also enable iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. We will implement the industry jargon "distributed". Think cyber-24/7. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to incubate intuitively.