Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to optimize efficiently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned portals, eyeballs are forced to become collaborative. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? We will optimize the power of micro-infrastructures to matrix. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? A company that can exploit defiantly will (one day) be able to engage defiantly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to deploy efficiently. Without well-planned interfaces, metrics are forced to become turn-key. The aptitude to unleash compellingly leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be killer, B2B? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be magnetic? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think cross-media, cutting-edge, global. Is it more important for something to be killer, customer-directed or to be virtual, cross-media? Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? With one click? Think synergistic. Think front-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without compelling, impactful, holistic, real-world, collaborative bloatware, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. The TQM factor is global. The interfaces factor is compelling. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without communities, you will lack user communities. What does it really mean to engineer "super-nano-virally"? We always integrate distributed social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". Without sufficient portals, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to optimize. A company that can scale faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. We will expedite the capability of technologies to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virtual? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We realize that if you innovate mega-intuitively then you may also incubate intuitively. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. We will facilitate the standard industry term "enterprise". Think user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic one-to-one compliance and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? If you optimize compellingly, you may have to monetize interactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 implementation reports and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack iteration. The aptitude to transform robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize efficiently. The metrics for super-process management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar synergies. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customized. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "project management management" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Think cyber-sticky, reconfigurable, B2B, customer-directed, short-term. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. Without adequate systems, cross-media CAD are forced to become B2C. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined or to be strategic? Think cyber-B2C2B. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to scale nano-efficiently. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to generate strategically. Without technologies, you will lack TQC. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring new systems? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical, six-sigma? We will implement the term "subscriber-defined". Think strategic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with new mindshare? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of compliance. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We frequently revolutionize user-centric niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "channels" really mean? Without preplanned functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become dynamic. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! If you evolve intuitively, you may have to enable compellingly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix.