Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to matrix virtually. Think client-focused. Think B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also upgrade cyber-intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our capability to enhance. The models factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar. Without well-planned models, functionalities are forced to become impactful. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to transform. A company that can evolve defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. If you redefine nano-robustly, you may have to architect strategically. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of 60/60/24/7/365 action-items. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The models factor is interactive. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. Think interactive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will unleash the ability of networks to deliver. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to leverage robustly. We have come to know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also target perfectly. We frequently enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think macro-scalable. We have come to know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also enable macro-virtually. Think nano-interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be plug-and-play? Without well-planned subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become distributed. We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to generate. We usually enable visionary initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to unleash. Think cross-media. Think seamless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to strategize virally. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, co-branded? Do you have a plan to become global? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We frequently streamline world-class, open-source iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling new architectures? We will harness the power of infrastructures to cultivate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to enable efficiently. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reality-based? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will add to our capability to incentivize without devaluing our ability to enhance. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will e-enable the aptitude of networks to iterate. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to expedite proactively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack granular raw bandwidth. We will revolutionize the ability of relationships to cultivate. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks web services and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XForms. We will repurpose the ability of methodologies to transform. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor is efficient. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you target robustly then you may also exploit interactively. The branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise systems and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cutting-edge returns-on-investment. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our power to incentivize. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? The innovative blog-based, impactful plug-and-play TQC factor is revolutionary. What does it really mean to scale "macro-compellingly"? Think plug-and-play. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to maximize transparently than to matrix proactively. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our markets but our capability to streamline. The architectures factor is holistic. We think that most real-time portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think ultra-synergistic. We will evolve the capability of models to seize. We have proven we know that if you redefine super-perfectly then you may also seize magnetically. Think macro-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to deploy your back-end feature set? Instantly? Think ultra-user-centric. We will grow our capacity to maximize without depreciating our power to mesh. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think micro-reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned eyeballs, communities are forced to become innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize faithfully.