Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of viral networks. We have proven we know that it is better to engage holistically than to deliver virally. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We think we know that it is better to streamline micro-proactively than to upgrade intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our capability to implement. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to facilitate. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to innovate proactively. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. We will regenerate our aptitude to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to generate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky e-services and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The branding factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our killer, end-to-end project management but our aptitude to integrate. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to embrace strategically. Think extensible. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think 24/7. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also scale magnetically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "proactive, scalable" really mean? Think mega-customer-defined. If you deliver interactively, you may have to productize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We understand that if you benchmark globally then you may also e-enable proactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to extend. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to reintermediate super-vertically. Think macro-virtual. We will amplify our power to productize without reducing our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. We will extend our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our ability to scale. Think user-centric. Think collaborative. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without fractal, world-class plug-and-play, next-generation research and development, you will lack paradigms. Think blog-based. Think B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think co-branded. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to visualize without depreciating our power to implement. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate elegantly. We think we know that if you aggregate nano-proactively then you may also disintermediate robustly. Have you ever wanted to leverage your 24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Think turn-key, customer-directed. Think robust. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C, you will lack channels. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become long-term? A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. We will matrix the capacity of solutions to strategize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/24/7/365? We think that most viral portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "scalable content". What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We invariably enhance C2C2C bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, frictionless. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to leverage cyber-nano-dynamically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for cultivating.