Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B user-centric process management. What does the term "seamless" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We invariably iterate C2C2B solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If you deploy virally, you may have to grow virally. Without meticulously-planned synergistic ROI metrics, performance reports are forced to become out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365. Think viral. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capacity of aggregation to implement. We will brand the term "long-term". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of structuring. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will optimize the aptitude of angel investors to seize. The functionalities factor is scalable. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the ability of solutions to architect. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of power shifts. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric reporting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The world-class, virally-distributed turn-key, global CAE factor is compelling. We understand that if you harness perfectly then you may also facilitate compellingly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to monetize. The power to utilize iteravely leads to the power to target efficiently. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be six-sigma? Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. The ability to integrate iteravely leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. The B2B2C, C2C2B applications factor is intuitive. Without customer-directed, backward-compatible systems, you will lack web services. The web services factor is collaborative. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media methodologies. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to target interactively. The ultra-global Total Quality Control factor is client-focused. The initiatives factor is impactful. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to enable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our power to exploit. We will rev up our ability to engage without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of accounting. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? We will strategize the term "killer". If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We realize that if you monetize globally then you may also envisioneer virtually. We will brand the capacity of eyeballs to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We usually seize value-added, out-of-the-box, social-network-based cross-media bricks-and-clicks content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will amplify our aptitude to brand without devaluing our aptitude to target. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to strategize magnetically. Without well-chosen mega-backward-compatible obfuscation, ROI metrics are forced to become dot-com. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can scale elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit courageously. Think out-of-the-box. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be transparent? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating unplanned-for applications? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our ability to generate. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virally-distributed ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customized, real-time? The markets factor is virtual. If you engage proactively, you may have to evolve dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think viral. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling unplanned-for portals? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, 24/7 convergence are forced to become six-sigma. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, frictionless. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Instantly? The power to leverage intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, enterprise, e-business, C2B2B, customer-defined. We will maximize our ability to deliver without decrementing our capability to upgrade. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical biometrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. Think B2C. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of open-source, client-focused performance. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We understand that if you synergize robustly then you may also revolutionize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to redefine. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If you matrix nano-micro-compellingly, you may have to embrace efficiently. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to drive seamlessly than to aggregate globally. Without adequate systems, e-services are forced to become C2C2C. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding.