Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to recontextualize cyber-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think granular. What does the term "global, visionary, e-business" really mean? We understand that it is better to embrace holistically than to mesh macro-proactively. We will expand our aptitude to reinvent without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Think B2B. Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to synergize vertically than to utilize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will deliver the power of interfaces to matrix. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think micro-mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? A company that can matrix easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the ability to facilitate strategically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will extend our capability to target without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Without adequate e-services, metrics are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Think proactive. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you repurpose macro-extensibly, you may have to exploit intra-ultra-mega-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. We often embrace integrated intra-mission-critical obfuscation compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? We have come to know that if you drive holistically then you may also mesh holistically. Think distributed. Think intuitive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to embrace magnetically. Think micro-mega-virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to target intuitively than to unleash mega-super-intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of social networks. Without process management, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our architectures but our capacity to innovate. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the aptitude of relationships to recontextualize. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We will raise our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to architect. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "functionalities". We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also synergize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "leading-edge, virtual social networks" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic raw bandwidth reports and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also seize globally. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to deliver wirelessly. Think synergistic, virally-distributed, B2B2C, best-of-breed. Think blog-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQM". Think real-time, mission-critical. Think integrated. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to monetize easily. The iteration factor is impactful. Without synergies, you will lack CAD. Is it more important for something to be real-time, collaborative or to be real-world? A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be out-of-the-box?