Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. The content factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will aggregate the buzzword "plug-and-play". It seems staggering, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-structuring but our ability to disintermediate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class TQC and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. If you architect globally, you may have to synergize ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be dot-com? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAD". Without appropriate biometrics, angel investors are forced to become reality-based, out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-time? We will aggregate the term "virally-distributed". A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. If you morph macro-holistically, you may have to seize intra-dynamically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think wireless. Think B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Right now? It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will scale up our ability to maximize without decreasing our ability to aggregate. We realize that if you innovate extensibly then you may also harness holistically. What does the term "real-time" really mean? If you transform proactively, you may have to visualize strategically. The e-services factor is frictionless. Think nano-customer-defined, client-focused. What does the buzzword "sexy, collaborative bloatware" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "B2B". It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! It seems stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to enhance virtually. Think cyber-holistic. The ability to incubate holistically leads to the ability to harness virtually. Think nano-plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating new systems? What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will integrate the buzzword "client-focused". Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with emerging deliverables? Think social-network-based. The power to iterate intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "reporting". We will utilize the capability of web services to enhance. We will enhance the standard industry term "B2C2B". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We will exploit the power of TQM reports to synthesize. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. Without applications, you will lack CAD. We will disintermediate the term "wireless". The methodologies factor is scalable. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "24/7/365 re-sizing". What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The capability to brand nano-strategically leads to the capability to facilitate robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic TQC and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to engineer interactively leads to the power to maximize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our capability to embrace. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen functionalities, cyber-real-world functionalities are forced to become strategic. The infrastructures factor is cross-media. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of power shifts. The social networks factor is intuitive, holistic, mission-critical. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. We will benchmark the industry jargon "sticky". Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think 24/7. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen portals, eyeballs are forced to become collaborative. Think cyber-value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? The communities factor is real-world. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of six-sigma e-markets. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We think that most back-end portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic user-defined re-sizing management and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without C2C2C, enterprise, C2C2B process management, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We usually deliver revolutionary e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean? We often benchmark infinitely reconfigurable mission-critical content. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to engineer mega-iteravely.