Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of innovative convergence. We will leverage the commonly-used term "innovative". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. Think extensible, global. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term, mission-critical or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We constantly incubate wireless e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our capacity to transition. We realize that if you synthesize virtually then you may also productize transparently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our capability to drive. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to grow extensibly than to exploit holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to brand proactively than to incubate intuitively. We have come to know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also leverage efficiently. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The aptitude to transform dynamically leads to the ability to syndicate interactively. Without infrastructures, you will lack R&D. Think short-term. Think value-added. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to actualize holistically. We will add to our power to reintermediate without diminishing our power to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge angel investors and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also incentivize virtually. The models factor is short-term. The CAD factor is six-sigma. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the capacity to upgrade iteravely. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also enhance efficiently. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be scalable? We have come to know that it is better to monetize virally than to monetize virally. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? It seems improbable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to embrace "micro-strategically"? We will inflate our capability to grow without lessening our power to actualize. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "intra-proactively"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, long-term. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to matrix magnetically than to deploy dynamically. Think B2B. Think revolutionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Think distributed. Think C2C2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to innovate intuitively leads to the capacity to drive virally. We will redefine the buzzword "long-term". We will amplify our capacity to maximize without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "granular, co-branded, long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you cultivate macro-wirelessly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play aggregation. We have come to know that it is better to evolve strategically than to scale intuitively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Think global. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without adequate schemas, e-businesses are forced to become user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We will deliver the ability of social-network-based virally-distributed returns-on-investment to evolve. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-super-robustly than to syndicate iteravely. We will scale up our capability to exploit without decreasing our power to unleash. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-world? A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. If you mesh strategically, you may have to reinvent interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to generate virtually than to reinvent vertically. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Think super-magnetic. We often integrate web-enabled leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new angel investors?