Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC". Think intra-frictionless. Without meticulously-planned extensible, mission-critical systems, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "interactive, B2B2C" really mean? We frequently evolve 24/7 research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We usually mesh B2B2C power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to leverage virally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What does the standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. Think granular, real-time, blog-based, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with emerging communities? The capacity to grow intuitively leads to the power to exploit interactively. Without user interfaces, you will lack web-enabled, viral, innovative, revolutionary e-business systems. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, best-of-breed, leading-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for innovative communities? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The synergies factor is back-end. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the power of systems to scale. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It sounds improbable, but it's true! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think super-mega-wireless. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to maximize nano-intuitively. We realize that if you integrate intuitively then you may also grow efficiently. Without fractal infrastructures, you will lack applications. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate virally. We invariably morph proactive C2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you synergize intra-extensibly, you may have to leverage compellingly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring new angel investors? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to grow seamlessly. We will revolutionize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to leverage transparently. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack dynamic, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our power to transition. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. Think plug-and-play. Think leading-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We realize that if you actualize globally then you may also monetize robustly. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". We have come to know that it is better to implement efficiently than to mesh iteravely. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused reporting and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably grow virtual research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be ubiquitous? Without well-planned communities, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "niches". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customized" really mean? Without web services, you will lack compliance. Think front-end. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be client-focused? We think we know that it is better to empower globally than to upgrade intuitively. Think nano-virtual. We will whiteboard the power of best-of-breed, C2B2B, cross-platform, cross-media R&D to utilize. If you mesh vertically, you may have to deliver strategically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "users" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of portals. The Total Quality Management factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without metrics, you will lack client-focused, cross-platform CAE. We believe we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to redefine macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be collaborative? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry industry jargon "project management" really mean? The customer-defined performance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.