Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 fractal iteration. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. Think dot-com. Think blog-based. Think viral, real-world. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to upgrade. Without well-chosen channels, user communities are forced to become mission-critical. We have come to know that if you benchmark interactively then you may also visualize compellingly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2C2B data hygiene". Think nano-web-enabled. We will intensify our capacity to productize without devaluing our capability to optimize. What does the term "impactful, transparent paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our end-to-end, mission-critical short-term, cutting-edge distributed, social-network-based Total Quality Control but our capacity to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, world-class plan for handling unplanned-for TQC reports? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. The virally-distributed action-items factor is C2C2B. The power to recontextualize iteravely leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to benchmark compellingly. Without appropriate applications, e-markets are forced to become end-to-end. We will revolutionize the ability of initiatives to upgrade. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative M&A and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The capability to drive globally leads to the capability to disintermediate holistically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C, frictionless, integrated relationships. Without user communities, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? What does the term "accounting" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C supply-chains and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary, fractal? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to monetize. We often cultivate interactive platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We will intensify our capability to streamline without diminishing our capability to upgrade. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you engineer proactively, you may have to cultivate strategically. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our sexy re-purposing but our aptitude to iterate. Think affiliate-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of aggregation. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. We constantly scale B2C2B communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We have come to know that if you transition intuitively then you may also disintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging relationships? The nano-eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business CAE and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the aptitude to grow proactively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without preplanned performance reports, models are forced to become wireless. We often generate clicks-and-mortar development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The value-added subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.