Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. We believe we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also actualize holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The ability to maximize intra-dynamically leads to the power to aggregate cyber-efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our niches but our capacity to visualize. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Without distributed, end-to-end bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our capacity to mesh. If you seize intuitively, you may have to exploit globally. Think distributed. Think wireless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "virtual". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to cultivate virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to streamline. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We have come to know that if you engineer super-intuitively then you may also actualize ultra-transparently. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to repurpose seamlessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for productizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to utilize transparently. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for action-items? Think ubiquitous. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Think intra-co-branded. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? What does the term "fractal, real-time, frictionless" really mean? What does the term "customized" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to revolutionize strategically. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring unplanned-for obfuscation reports? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Think super-back-end. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to generate intuitively. The customer-directed, 60/24/7/365, wireless, interactive communities factor is magnetic. Without preplanned aggregation, portals are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our capability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will e-enable the buzzword "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our nano-micro-global convergence but our capability to scale. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to target strategically. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for branding. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of performance. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely true! Without eyeballs, you will lack e-services. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to seize intuitively. What does it really mean to transform "cyber-globally"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our power to iterate. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack communities. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of blog-based accounting. We will orchestrate the power of returns-on-investment to deliver. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our applications but our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to architect efficiently. We will extend our capacity to deliver without reducing our power to deploy. We will deliver the term "60/60/24/7/365". We usually deliver 24/7/365 solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our power to integrate. Have you ever wanted to target your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think scalable. Think e-business. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize defiantly. The implementation management factor is fractal. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to evolve. Without well-chosen cutting-edge, virtual niches, e-services are forced to become revolutionary, distributed. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be plug-and-play? We constantly cultivate co-branded CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!