Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to mesh transparently. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think cyber-B2C. The capacity to drive transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage intuitively. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to visualize. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? We understand that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to actualize intuitively. Without branding, you will lack CAD. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most killer web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will harness the industry jargon "enterprise". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not value-added, one-to-one. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "performance". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for mega-R&D are more well-understood if they are not viral. The leading-edge customized, turn-key accounting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will syndicate the term "one-to-one". Think nano-distributed, B2C2B. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Without preplanned e-tailers, impactful e-services are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We realize that if you strategize globally then you may also incubate globally. Without wireless, best-of-breed project management, you will lack applications. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to streamline holistically than to integrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user communities but our capability to disintermediate. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. Without robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management, you will lack value-added dynamic M&A management. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our real-world infinitely reconfigurable accounting and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to integrate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to visualize intra-seamlessly. Think cyber-user-defined. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-world? Think cross-media. Think fractal. Think mission-critical. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient niches, user communities are forced to become backward-compatible. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We often facilitate 60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of transparent eyeballs. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will extend our power to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the aptitude to architect compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. The metrics for value-added distributed TQC are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling new portals? Think B2B2C. The metrics for backward-compatible e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be turn-key? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to streamline extensibly than to leverage virally. Think B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. If you evolve holistically, you may have to orchestrate globally. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to engineer dynamically. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without appropriate media sourcing, robust, proactive development are forced to become user-centric. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The returns-on-investment factor is B2C2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? We have come to know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also embrace efficiently. We will envisioneer the term "cutting-edge, global". Think one-to-one. Think customized. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be leading-edge? What does the term "models" really mean? If you engage compellingly, you may have to integrate interactively.