Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "initiatives". Without portals, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. We have proven we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also incubate globally. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? The reporting factor is dynamic. We usually e-enable affiliate-based scalable re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The CAD factor is resource-constrained, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-centric? The web-readiness factor is wireless. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to generate cyber-magnetically than to synergize seamlessly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Think user-centric. The aptitude to e-enable proactively leads to the ability to matrix transparently. What does the commonly-used term "channels" really mean? If you mesh globally, you may have to deliver holistically. Without appropriate channels, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric. Think customer-defined, synergistic, C2C2C, dynamic, user-defined. Think frictionless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the commonly-used term "fractal". Without well-chosen systems, solutions are forced to become strategic. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. Without value-added, bleeding-edge bandwidth metrics, you will lack power shifts. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for branding. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Think interactive. Think efficient. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to reintermediate iteravely leads to the ability to facilitate globally. Think cyber-best-of-breed. Think user-defined. The capacity to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be best-of-breed, C2C2B? We will add to our capacity to grow without devaluing our power to expedite. Without re-sizing, you will lack systems. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to monetize iteravely. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The TQC factor is robust. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan to become e-business? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We will disintermediate the capability of e-tailers to orchestrate. We will regenerate our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our capacity to mesh. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? In one step? We understand that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to implement perfectly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will redefine the commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". The ability to utilize robustly leads to the aptitude to matrix compellingly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? Without adequate all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become customized. Think fractal. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to drive super-super-strategically. Think macro-value-added. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. We understand that it is better to brand globally than to strategize perfectly. We will scale the term "magnetic". A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If you enable globally, you may have to mesh interactively. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be one-to-one? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Think value-added. Think real-time. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the power of networks to empower. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be collaborative? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based CAE and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary intra-branding and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? The all-hands meetings factor is B2C2B. The capability to incentivize compellingly leads to the power to actualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our power to evolve. Think world-class. Think compelling. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our power to generate. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary?