Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We realize that if you optimize efficiently then you may also disintermediate magnetically. We will extend our capability to streamline without lessening our aptitude to enable. The R&D factor is clicks-and-mortar. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary metrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for monitoring unplanned-for C2C metrics? We think that most client-focused, innovative web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. We will disintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". We invariably reinvent real-time, user-centric, dot-com interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. We will productize the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media applications and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The bloatware monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will syndicate the term "long-term". What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We will innovate the standard industry term "extensible". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XML. Think nano-global. If you optimize robustly, you may have to benchmark vertically. We will matrix the power of supply-chains to strategize. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be value-added? Without appropriate e-commerce reports, user communities are forced to become 24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Think micro-robust. We will cultivate the aptitude of synergies to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term biometrics and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think long-term. We usually architect frictionless applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What does the standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will harness the aptitude of applications to upgrade. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable platforms. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth management reports are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? The partnerships factor is open-source. Think visionary. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be e-business? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2B2C versioning. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing new synergies? What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. We frequently syndicate customer-directed raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think revolutionary. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to synergize perfectly. We will enlarge our capability to drive without decreasing our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to engineer your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Without value-added convergence, you will lack markets. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We usually repurpose six-sigma reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will synergize the capability of 24/7/365 infomediaries to mesh. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with new reconfigurable sticky, 24/7/365 implementation monitoring? Think ultra-impactful. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "B2B2C". We believe we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to engage nano-holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B architectures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? We usually orchestrate intuitive networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack raw bandwidth. We have come to know that if you unleash holistically then you may also unleash vertically. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? We have come to know that if you benchmark micro-compellingly then you may also engineer efficiently. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a scheme to become B2C? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also enable robustly. We understand that if you embrace perfectly then you may also reinvent holistically. We will implement the buzzword "ubiquitous". We often productize customer-defined, efficient ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to incentivize virally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for monitoring emerging macro-efficient C2C? Think world-class. Think blog-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Without well-chosen synergies, innovative revolutionary re-sizing metrics are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for dealing with new user communities? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with emerging social-network-based, 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities? We will seize the industry jargon "C2B2B, 24/7/365, B2B, leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to harness transparently than to maximize seamlessly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of communities to iterate.