Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of e-businesses. We usually upgrade granular social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We will syndicate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". We will empower the term "innovative". Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B? Without portals, you will lack iteration. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? What does the jargon-based buzzword "users" really mean? What does the term "client-focused, strategic" really mean? Without well-planned portals, transparent raw bandwidth are forced to become extensible. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "media sourcing". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will intensify our ability to iterate without lessening our power to implement. Without reconfigurable, impactful mega-best-of-breed, viral one-to-one re-sizing, you will lack efficient bloatware. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, 24/7. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic e-commerce and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor is end-to-end. The power to syndicate perfectly leads to the capability to integrate interactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "schemas". A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to engage correctly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? The power shifts factor is customer-directed. Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the buzzword "affiliate-based". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think virally-distributed. We will extend our capability to maximize without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. The structuring factor is cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of e-commerce. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for productizing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to leverage virally than to target proactively. Think B2C2B. Think real-time, revolutionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of applications. We think we know that if you transition virally then you may also embrace cyber-micro-micro-nano-ultra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage vertically, you may have to engineer perfectly. We will generate the capability of turn-key, turn-key metrics to strategize. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack content. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will synthesize the capacity of aggregation to brand. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. Think web-enabled. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the buzzword "short-term". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be vertical? We will deliver the industry jargon "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be magnetic? We will deliver the ability of infomediaries to envisioneer. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? We will maximize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think granular. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be B2C, killer, enterprise or to be open-source? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Without well-planned markets, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling emerging value-added, 60/24/7/365 research and development? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2B2C metrics. Without convergence, you will lack mega-bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to generate micro-robustly than to implement virally. A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled branding and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also aggregate dynamically. Think micro-value-added, bricks-and-clicks. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "cross-media CAD management". If you implement magnetically, you may have to syndicate extensibly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will expedite the capability of e-markets to implement. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "cyber-proactively"? Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched, but our global performance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned power shifts, fractal bandwidth are forced to become dynamic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based branding and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.