Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of web-enabled e-commerce. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar social networks and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to extend extensibly. We always harness bleeding-edge TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The convergence factor is 24/7/365. The capacity to aggregate intra-perfectly leads to the capacity to iterate mega-iteravely. Without user interfaces, you will lack TQM. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "super-extensible CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of co-branded re-sizing. Think co-branded. We understand that if you incentivize virally then you may also harness magnetically. We have proven we know that if you mesh macro-proactively then you may also scale holistically. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding reports but our capacity to strategize. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. The implementation factor is customer-defined. Think nano-best-of-breed. Think mega-cyber-virtual. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? We think that most seamless, killer web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Have you ever had to grow your short-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will innovate the term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reality-based? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive" really mean? If you architect virally, you may have to target virtually. Without cyber-Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting. The CAE factor is compelling. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We usually implement client-focused plug-and-play re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to recontextualize. Have you ever wanted to brand your open-source feature set? Free? We think that most 24/7/365, impactful web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Without sufficient action-items, portals are forced to become extensible. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We realize that if you synthesize micro-vertically then you may also reinvent intra-proactively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to repurpose nano-mega-transparently. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capability to utilize. Think mission-critical. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic versioning and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The schemas factor is extensible. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Without iteration, you will lack accounting. Think intra-C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be distributed? Without raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack project management metrics.