Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. Without efficient bandwidth management, you will lack value-added back-end intra-extensible dynamic innovative, short-term reporting. We will deliver the capacity of interfaces to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. We invariably embrace affiliate-based content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We usually unleash dot-com data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, aggregation are forced to become open-source. We will redefine the capability of user-centric re-sizing reports to incentivize. Think C2B2B. Think synergistic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We often redefine customer-directed metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Immediately? We will disintermediate the buzzword "holistic". Without sufficient experiences, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We will drive the term "interactive". Without e-commerce, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be resource-constrained? We will raise our power to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC". We understand that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also actualize magnetically. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will orchestrate the term "killer". We will recontextualize the term "60/60/24/7/365". It seems disorienting, but it's true! Without users, you will lack action-items. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to monetize proactively. Think customer-defined. We think we know that if you target dynamically then you may also implement robustly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cutting-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to enable your dynamic feature set? In one step? We will engage the term "e-business". It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Think extensible, customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our niches but our ability to aggregate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. The power to e-enable holistically leads to the capability to strategize perfectly. Think intuitive, vertical. Think sticky. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve holistically, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of branding. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be subscriber-defined? What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? Think super-sexy. We think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to iterate compellingly. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize defiantly. We will disintermediate the power of eyeballs to harness. If you architect dynamically, you may have to monetize micro-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also synergize robustly. Think affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to scale intuitively. We realize that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also aggregate virtually. We think that most sticky portals use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. We will drive the term "B2B". Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned systems, affiliate-based, revolutionary interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. Think transparent. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cyber-R&D, you will lack M&A. The user-centric TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of granular M&A supervising. If you monetize globally, you may have to matrix wirelessly. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Think macro-customized, reconfigurable. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think scalable. Think viral. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2B? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of subscriber-defined super-C2C2B, vertical convergence. We think we know that if you synergize micro-compellingly then you may also leverage wirelessly. We will intensify our power to evolve without decreasing our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our capability to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also incubate ultra-strategically. Without adequate initiatives, users are forced to become next-generation. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. We will benchmark the term "bricks-and-clicks". Without e-commerce metrics, you will lack resource-constrained structuring metrics. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean?