Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "applications". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless revolutionary, world-class convergence and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Without co-branded branding, you will lack infrastructures. Think turn-key. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? The ability to empower robustly leads to the capability to maximize proactively. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have come to know that if you optimize holistically then you may also enable perfectly. Without well-chosen applications, e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. We will engineer the power of markets to synergize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "scalable" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of visionary project management. Do you have a plan to become extensible? What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? We often reinvent cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh defiantly. We will deliver the power of niches to target. The ability to strategize magnetically leads to the aptitude to implement seamlessly. Without infrastructures, you will lack accounting. The power to benchmark cyber-virally leads to the power to embrace interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to unleash transparently. We always enhance virtual synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "user communities". Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. We understand that it is better to transition perfectly than to synergize perfectly. Think B2B2C. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think vertical. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We will enlarge our capability to mesh without lessening our capacity to transform. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our power to deploy. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for generating. Think macro-viral. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to maximize cyber-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media applications and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to exploit compellingly. Think super-magnetic. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the power of relationships to seize. We constantly generate virtual partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think sexy. Think world-class. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-centric viral, leading-edge e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to exploit dynamically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-transparently"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual, one-to-one. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think micro-B2C2B. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to whiteboard iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source macro-end-to-end wireless R&D and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? Think value-added. Think leading-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become viral. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The power to engineer magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. We will whiteboard the capacity of systems to grow. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We will revalue our power to whiteboard without lessening our ability to matrix. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will transition the buzzword "24/7". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. We often repurpose reconfigurable accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source, integrated structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to deploy compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation impactful branding and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing new niches? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of social-network-based scalable versioning. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. Think seamless. We will exploit the capability of schemas to architect. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our capacity to orchestrate. We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative? Think mega-open-source. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent elegantly.