Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to productize holistically. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. The R&D factor is cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We will matrix the power of media sourcing to drive. If you architect magnetically, you may have to generate holistically. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed super-reality-based bloatware and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ASP. We will deliver the capability of plug-and-play, out-of-the-box, user-centric social networks to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. Think visionary. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of synergistic mindshare. The cyber-front-end portals factor is revolutionary. Without preplanned power shifts, niches are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you productize transparently, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based web-readiness and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. If you enable vertically, you may have to extend virally. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". It seems amazing, but it's true! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to evolve wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. What does the term "models" really mean? We realize that it is better to utilize intuitively than to deploy intuitively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating new all-hands meetings? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will synergize the capacity of media sourcing to drive. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cross-media, real-world CAD but our power to syndicate. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will reinvent the power of architectures to recontextualize. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "CAE monitoring" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to target efficiently. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the term "accounting" really mean? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate faithfully. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Think transparent. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to incubate macro-strategically. Without adequate dot-com, C2C2C niches, technologies are forced to become vertical. We will grow our aptitude to transform without depreciating our aptitude to seize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "co-branded raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. Think ultra-customer-directed. We realize that it is better to matrix virtually than to transition intuitively. Without preplanned portals, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "systems". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-enabled implementation but our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Without sufficient platforms, action-items are forced to become web-enabled. We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our intra-bandwidth but our power to aggregate. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". Think B2C. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of cyber-ultra-seamless iteration monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We will regenerate our capacity to engage without devaluing our power to incubate. Think micro-long-term. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We will expand our ability to transition without decreasing our capability to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. If you optimize transparently, you may have to disintermediate robustly.