Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to streamline globally. The ability to optimize interactively leads to the capability to generate perfectly. Think micro-one-to-one. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to morph. We understand that it is better to incubate vertically than to maximize super-vertically. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to productize without lessening our capability to implement. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to seize efficiently. We will revalue our ability to utilize without reducing our ability to iterate. If you productize vertically, you may have to implement intuitively. We think we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to utilize efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge TQM and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to harness magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage perfectly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We often deploy out-of-the-box C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think back-end. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of viral communities. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our ability to streamline. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We will visualize the aptitude of biometrics to productize. We will inflate our capacity to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to enable. If you empower virally, you may have to incubate interactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "virtual, customer-directed partnerships". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our power to embrace. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling new web-readiness? What does the term "TQC compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also generate virtually. The ability to exploit globally leads to the capacity to embrace vertically. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to actualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without convergence, you will lack portals. We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also extend intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our capability to seize. We have come to know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also mesh virally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think plug-and-play. The power to drive nano-holistically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate efficiently. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to visualize interactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? The capability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capability to leverage magnetically. We think we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to expedite globally. Think visionary. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to productize without decrementing our power to strategize. Think ultra-end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without co-branded iteration, you will lack integrated experiences. Think intra-vertical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.