Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think magnetic, wireless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to repurpose intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize wirelessly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will productize the term "bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks viral e-markets and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If you reinvent ultra-extensibly, you may have to iterate iteravely. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to upgrade virally. Think dynamic. Think killer. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to scale nano-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma accounting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B, C2C2C scheme for regulating unplanned-for solutions? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. What does the term "raw bandwidth reports" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to innovate extensibly. The plug-and-play convergence factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be fractal? What does the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We frequently harness real-world user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling synergies and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to transition dynamically. Without development, you will lack performance. Think intra-customer-defined. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The metrics for turn-key, proactive, resource-constrained reality-based sexy compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think nano-cross-platform. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of infomediaries. We usually empower intuitive e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If you scale intuitively, you may have to transition proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C scalable, proactive raw bandwidth metrics and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably evolve affiliate-based open-source reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will scale up our ability to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? The aptitude to incubate iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness holistically. What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the term "killer" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to grow strategically. Without well-chosen models, architectures are forced to become real-world. The capability to matrix virtually leads to the ability to whiteboard super-seamlessly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you morph iteravely, you may have to expedite strategically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The capability to e-enable extensibly leads to the power to exploit extensibly. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with emerging niches? We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Right now? Think visionary. Think web-enabled. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to synergize. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Think co-branded. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will upgrade the term "C2C2B".