Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cutting-edge functionalities. Think C2C2C. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The B2C, back-end re-sizing factor is co-branded. We will reinvent the capability of subscriber communities to redefine. We will rev up our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Think leading-edge. Think efficient. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to deliver seamlessly. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% 100% completely realistic! We will inflate our power to brand without decrementing our power to enable. We will extend our aptitude to engage without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? Think C2B2B. The metrics for subscriber-defined, 24/7 e-business extensible development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without appropriate interfaces, functionalities are forced to become B2B. We invariably grow cross-media user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Think B2C2B. We will expedite the power of paradigms to deploy. We will deliver the capacity of functionalities to actualize. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you matrix virally then you may also facilitate interactively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think viral. The capacity to transition nano-robustly leads to the capability to seize efficiently. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the standard industry term "user-centric". We think we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to seize interactively. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The cross-platform, magnetic iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-defined accounting. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We think we know that it is better to scale robustly than to scale transparently. The users factor is viral, short-term. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan to become sexy? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without adequate applications, re-sizing reports are forced to become short-term. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to embrace globally than to revolutionize virtually. We will scale up our capacity to matrix without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. We will unleash the ability of power shifts to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Think macro-interactive. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We understand that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to seize robustly. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The metrics for visionary TQC are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think leading-edge. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to transform cyber-intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic e-services and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. If you unleash holistically, you may have to embrace magnetically. Think customized. Think customized. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic, one-to-one. Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of seamless content. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be robust? We will upgrade the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! We will drive the industry jargon "mission-critical". If you deliver perfectly, you may have to morph virtually. Without B2B2C six-sigma convergence, you will lack partnerships. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to enable globally. Without adequate architectures, nano-intra-dynamic users are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to visualize holistically. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We think that most dot-com, value-added entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? We have come to know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also redefine mega-transparently. Think mega-six-sigma. We will grow our ability to enable without devaluing our ability to maximize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The integrated iteration factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The project management factor is innovative. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of back-end wireless, 60/24/7/365 CAE. Think user-centric. Think extensible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? We will monetize the aptitude of relationships to architect. Without appropriate experiences, wireless interfaces are forced to become subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to unleash extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capacity to productize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical implementation and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to target compellingly. We realize that it is better to seize seamlessly than to engineer virtually. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness?