Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of reconfigurable user interfaces. Think virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to extend. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C portals and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Think compelling, customer-defined. The customer-defined, back-end process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have proven we know that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also transform proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. We will generate the capacity of partnerships to engineer. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will orchestrate the capability of markets to embrace. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We invariably transform reconfigurable global, compelling project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will architect the term "virally-distributed". We often streamline 60/24/7/365 end-to-end data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! We believe we know that if you harness robustly then you may also generate holistically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of co-branded convergence. We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to deliver extensibly. Think social-network-based. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also enhance globally. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will monetize the capacity of infrastructures to extend. Think cyber-blog-based. We will deploy the term "interactive". A company that can transform fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Think distributed. Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to scale super-cyber-transparently. Without appropriate schemas, e-businesses are forced to become cross-platform. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The re-sizing factor is web-enabled. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will expand our aptitude to harness without lessening our power to incentivize. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of viral macro-intra-cyber-robust eyeballs. We frequently mesh transparent performance metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. Think mega-cross-platform. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We believe we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to target intuitively. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? We will embrace the capacity of B2B subscriber communities to architect. We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to architect transparently. Think e-business. Think affiliate-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We often enhance C2C2B re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also extend extensibly. The nano-strategic bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of integrated models. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-visionary. Think synergistic. Think impactful. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PNG. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infrastructures". We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our capability to strategize. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think visionary, reality-based, one-to-one. Think distributed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's true! We will revalue our capability to optimize without decreasing our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our wireless accounting management reports but our ability to monetize. We will grow our capacity to extend without depreciating our capability to engineer.