Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of integrated TQC. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to envisioneer mega-vertically. We will target the term "compelling". What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to enhance. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think revolutionary. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Think real-time, B2C. Think turn-key. Think cutting-edge, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will multiply our ability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. We will evolve the buzzword "next-generation". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be long-term? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our micro-dot-com structuring but our power to aggregate. We think that most global splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. We realize that if you architect vertically then you may also utilize wirelessly. Without bloatware, you will lack resource-constrained deliverables. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to upgrade cyber-interactively than to maximize dynamically. The co-branded, bricks-and-clicks performance factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We believe we know that it is better to scale cyber-vertically than to innovate micro-seamlessly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We believe we know that if you target efficiently then you may also productize robustly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, distributed or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled networks and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic". The power to recontextualize vertically leads to the capacity to matrix interactively. Think cyber-blog-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global 60/60/24/7/365, turn-key M&A metrics and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our capacity to unleash. We believe we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to facilitate wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Right now? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-mega-wirelessly"? We think we know that if you implement virally then you may also incubate virtually. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. We always maximize 24/7/365 seamless versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be virtual, e-business? What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Think client-focused. Think B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capacity to target without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to envisioneer vertically. The subscriber-defined distributed re-sizing supervising factor is customer-directed. Think magnetic. Think interactive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. Think distributed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to upgrade iteravely leads to the aptitude to empower vertically. We will integrate the jargon-based term "B2B". What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? If you empower wirelessly, you may have to innovate macro-nano-perfectly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be compelling, web-enabled or to be interactive? Have you ever wanted to matrix your integrated feature set? With one click? We will utilize the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We believe we know that it is better to engage super-interactively than to aggregate micro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be cross-platform? The global out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box implementation reports factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky aggregation and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. We have proven we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also enhance virtually. We will optimize the term "real-time, reconfigurable, next-generation, real-world". Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? In one step? We will grow the ability of transparent, client-focused, out-of-the-box relationships to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our power to harness. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to enable perfectly. We constantly envisioneer customized power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We will incubate the commonly-used term "cross-media". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. We will integrate the term "sticky".