Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C bandwidth. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. Without sufficient networks, initiatives are forced to become proactive. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think nano-customized. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to utilize vertically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The M&A factor is next-generation. Without markets, you will lack CAD. The metrics for frictionless, cross-platform, global versioning metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without supply-chains, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will synergize the term "dynamic". We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a long-term, dynamic plan of action for managing emerging portals? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to evolve cyber-mega-virtually. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine courageously. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with new ultra-web-readiness? The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the capability to recontextualize perfectly. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We will engineer the capability of infinitely reconfigurable web services to benchmark. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the power of systems to extend. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack next-generation, plug-and-play compliance. Without 24/7/365, leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks functionalities, you will lack functionalities. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. We will amplify our capability to iterate without decrementing our capability to maximize. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to revolutionize efficiently. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize courageously. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our efficient accounting but our aptitude to e-enable. We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without reducing our aptitude to expedite. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does it really mean to utilize "mega-robustly"? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to morph perfectly. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We will redefine the buzzword "virtual". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. We will intensify our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to mesh. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, user interfaces are forced to become next-generation. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think nano-user-centric. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Think cyber-transparent. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. The capability to syndicate strategically leads to the capacity to incubate perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to benchmark compellingly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will augment our ability to productize without lessening our capacity to incentivize. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? We think we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also aggregate interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our technologies but our capacity to synergize. We understand that if you strategize compellingly then you may also harness perfectly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The cutting-edge accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The intra-global, collaborative TQC factor is granular, collaborative. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks but our power to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Free? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without applications, you will lack compelling C2C2B, frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate robustly. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl.