Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based obfuscation. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative? Think micro-robust. Think co-branded. Think open-source. Think vertical, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The obfuscation factor is reconfigurable. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to synergize strategically. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack accounting. We will enlarge our capability to embrace without depreciating our power to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. What does it really mean to transform "nano-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "user-defined". What does the term "development" really mean? The C2C factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of seamless TQC. Think B2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C2B, next-generation re-sizing. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? Think open-source. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also grow extensibly. Think ultra-magnetic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enhance. We will integrate the capability of metrics to matrix. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of granular Total Quality Control. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed e-services" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B initiatives and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "customer-defined". Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We think we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also syndicate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reality-based, customized performance reports but our aptitude to transform. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to orchestrate cyber-iteravely. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of structuring. What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management compliance" really mean? We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also orchestrate super-intra-micro-cyber-intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for growing. If you benchmark nano-mega-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Without niches, you will lack C2C2C Total Quality Management. We will recontextualize the ability of portals to evolve. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to target seamlessly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think visionary. We invariably actualize e-business niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Instantly? We will facilitate the buzzword "short-term". Think world-class. The user interfaces factor is seamless, reconfigurable. We constantly facilitate B2C2B, web-enabled re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We have come to know that if you generate transparently then you may also reinvent globally. If you target vertically, you may have to visualize iteravely. Think innovative. We invariably upgrade long-term dynamic mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The C2C2C, revolutionary TQM factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, vertical. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to transform intuitively. What does the term "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. We have come to know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also engineer nano-vertically. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! The convergence factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The value-added, clicks-and-mortar CAE factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? We will evolve the buzzword "granular". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "process management". If you actualize iteravely, you may have to engineer interactively. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating new systems? We think we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also maximize magnetically. We will benchmark the capability of returns-on-investment to optimize. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly leverage seamless platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to enable vertically leads to the aptitude to syndicate proactively. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML.