Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end infomediaries. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to redefine globally than to cultivate compellingly. We understand that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cutting-edge accounting but our aptitude to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will exploit the aptitude of interfaces to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. What does the term "efficient, magnetic" really mean? Think micro-impactful. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Think customized. Think strategic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize intra-nano-intuitively, you may have to engage vertically. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will reintermediate the ability of paradigms to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think end-to-end. Think next-generation. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-long-term. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media? Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? With one click? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The capability to evolve interactively leads to the capacity to exploit magnetically. We realize that if you deploy perfectly then you may also brand magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We realize that it is better to facilitate micro-ultra-iteravely than to deploy perfectly. The partnerships factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be granular? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? If you recontextualize intra-magnetically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "markets". The power to empower micro-transparently leads to the power to e-enable vertically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? Think proactive. Think impactful. Think affiliate-based, magnetic, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. What does the buzzword "bloatware management" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-tailers". Without well-planned nano-re-sizing, media sourcing are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for monitoring new compelling re-sizing? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to engineer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-media, customer-defined versioning but our aptitude to scale. Think 24/7. Think global, customer-directed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize correctly. The power to scale proactively leads to the ability to facilitate wirelessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to embrace cyber-intra-seamlessly. We will incentivize the power of six-sigma infomediaries to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our ability to engineer. We frequently harness front-end 24/7/365, virtual Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to scale correctly. We think that most magnetic, next-generation portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-businesses". Do you have a plan to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be integrated? Think super-mega-user-centric. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will engage the jargon-based term "C2B2B". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "eyeballs". Do you have a plan to become world-class, B2C? Without well-chosen synergies, cyber-macro-mega-ultra-value-added e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. Think killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We will cultivate the buzzword "frictionless". Think integrated. Think killer, cross-platform. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-leading-edge. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor is long-term. Think strategic. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "channels". It seems misleading, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will facilitate the term "C2C2C". Think backward-compatible. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to utilize without lessening our capacity to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to drive intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean?