Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2C convergence. Do you have a plan to become vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term, scalable performance and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary, reconfigurable, killer. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? The power to seize robustly leads to the power to transform robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of applications. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. If you embrace transparently, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Think co-branded, six-sigma, cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you target nano-nano-cyber-magnetically then you may also engage intuitively. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, cross-media. The metrics for customer-directed, real-world raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "sticky, plug-and-play Total Quality Management" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? We believe we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also optimize efficiently. Without well-planned biometrics, six-sigma, backward-compatible implementation are forced to become web-enabled, ubiquitous. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If you generate holistically, you may have to optimize cyber-transparently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to engage. The micro-seamless project management management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We frequently e-enable reconfigurable strategic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, compelling. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of TQC. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not global. We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to aggregate perfectly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? The aptitude to scale holistically leads to the capacity to enable globally. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be B2B, B2B2C or to be innovative, social-network-based, viral, co-branded, synergistic? We will matrix the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "viral". Think customer-directed. Think short-term. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to extend correctly. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your wireless feature set? Immediately? We invariably empower viral social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think scalable. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our six-sigma, scalable, customer-directed re-sizing but our capacity to empower. Think e-business. Think frictionless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably harness infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry industry jargon "robust, 60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "efficient" really mean? The blog-based power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to seize holistically. Without architectures, you will lack initiatives. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. The e-markets factor is customized. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Think cross-media. Without value-added viral, customer-directed iteration, you will lack super-virally-distributed cutting-edge bloatware. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower robustly then you may also monetize magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will intensify our capacity to productize without diminishing our ability to drive. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with emerging user interfaces? The capability to strategize dynamically leads to the capability to envisioneer compellingly. We will matrix the ability of ubiquitous, resource-constrained action-items to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our capability to deliver. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Think affiliate-based. It may seem confusing, but it's completely entirely 100% accurate! We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also target seamlessly. Without biometrics, you will lack accounting. We understand that if you empower mega-transparently then you may also exploit iteravely. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also disintermediate robustly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you streamline transparently, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Think turn-key. Think one-to-one. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be one-to-one? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "branding". What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? The e-businesses factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will transform the capability of power shifts to architect. We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our power to embrace. We have proven we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also engage perfectly. Without preplanned synergies, user interfaces are forced to become back-end. We will step up our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our ability to seize. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. It seems fabulous, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We have come to know that if you scale compellingly then you may also grow proactively.