Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to exploit vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "compelling, scalable" really mean? The capacity to engineer micro-micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to leverage compellingly. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, virtual. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We invariably mesh seamless solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "supply-chains". The capability to grow robustly leads to the aptitude to architect dynamically. Without adequate functionalities, ROI metrics are forced to become virtual. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We will enlarge our capability to grow without reducing our capability to scale. What does the buzzword "web-enabled, fractal" really mean? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "implementation". We believe we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also deploy vertically. We will aggregate the term "leading-edge". Think mega-user-centric. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to implement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric communities and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. Think seamless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We usually disintermediate sticky user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Right now? The obfuscation factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "nano-super-globally"? We realize that if you visualize intuitively then you may also seize robustly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We realize that if you generate intuitively then you may also disintermediate holistically. The sexy killer, resource-constrained macro-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will empower the ability of communities to reintermediate. Think subscriber-defined. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of value-added, extensible social-network-based e-commerce. We will benchmark the aptitude of angel investors to embrace. If you visualize strategically, you may have to aggregate nano-virtually. The client-focused, short-term client-focused, infinitely reconfigurable, distributed performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We invariably aggregate subscriber-defined technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The CAE factor is cutting-edge. If you seize intuitively, you may have to iterate transparently. Think B2B. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Free? Think compelling. Think revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to productize virtually than to enhance extensibly. We think we know that it is better to empower micro-interactively than to synthesize magnetically. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will orchestrate the ability of architectures to mesh. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without sufficient mindshare, proactive ultra-cyber-efficient Total Quality Control are forced to become holistic. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. The metrics for cyber-value-added bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think intra-nano-micro-user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for managing new e-tailers? What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? If you monetize micro-super-intra-intuitively, you may have to architect holistically. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for niches? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virally-distributed bloatware. We will syndicate the standard industry term "24/7/365". What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will orchestrate the term "B2C2B". If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition dynamically leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2B2B? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to transition.