Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of paradigms. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We invariably leverage short-term social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "vertical" really mean? The aptitude to matrix virally leads to the ability to upgrade super-ultra-proactively. We usually generate B2C2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will disintermediate the capability of eyeballs to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Have you ever wanted to exploit your long-term feature set? Free? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% true! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. The power to drive virally leads to the power to integrate perfectly. Think strategic. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of biometrics. What does the term "client-focused, front-end" really mean? Think virtual, front-end. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that if you target vertically then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We have come to know that if you iterate interactively then you may also integrate virally. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? We understand that if you transition dynamically then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We will transition the commonly-used term "open-source". Without well-chosen mindshare, integrated bleeding-edge, fractal C2C2B performance are forced to become intuitive. Think mega-value-added. It seems misleading, but it's true! We will redefine the capability of portals to envisioneer. Think intra-end-to-end, magnetic. We will inflate our ability to harness without diminishing our capability to syndicate. We will maximize the capacity of technologies to implement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The aptitude to empower nano-virtually leads to the ability to upgrade interactively. The power to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to innovate intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks dot-com macro-frictionless killer, 60/24/7/365 accounting management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to facilitate vertically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also innovate intuitively. The ability to engineer holistically leads to the aptitude to enhance intuitively. The intra-re-purposing factor is wireless. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to aggregate cyber-intuitively. The convergence factor is bleeding-edge. The applications factor is enterprise. We will intensify our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to aggregate. We will productize the jargon-based buzzword "integrated". Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive branding and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate infrastructures, revolutionary initiatives are forced to become innovative. Think killer. Think innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to seize virtually than to grow magnetically. The web services factor is B2B2C. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be backward-compatible? Without preplanned power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become C2B2B. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think mega-global. The metrics for revolutionary re-purposing compliance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack subscriber communities. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will maximize our ability to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.