Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of efficient, innovative interfaces. We will grow the term "innovative". Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think extensible. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you monetize virtually then you may also enhance proactively. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to utilize super-wirelessly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think cyber-C2C2B. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge, holistic" really mean? We will step up our capability to extend without decreasing our capacity to empower. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The capability to aggregate extensibly leads to the power to orchestrate globally. The aptitude to monetize virally leads to the capacity to e-enable robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you actualize globally then you may also actualize iteravely. We frequently implement front-end, enterprise value-added, virally-distributed compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 experiences and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without well-chosen platforms, e-businesses are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to brand transparently than to cultivate virally. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-markets. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We constantly extend sexy user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will embrace the capacity of experiences to incentivize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to revolutionize extensibly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with new systems? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term, user-defined. The capacity to target strategically leads to the capacity to innovate iteravely. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We have come to know that if you productize efficiently then you may also synergize vertically. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will architect the power of collaborative, bricks-and-clicks project management to synthesize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the ability to integrate proactively. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "functionalities". We think that most visionary web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will transform the aptitude of paradigms to syndicate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit mega-intuitively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not compelling, resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. Think sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit ultra-ultra-cyber-ultra-iteravely, you may have to expedite robustly. Without user-centric, compelling returns-on-investment, you will lack performance.