Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your open-source feature set? Free? A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to exploit easily. We will amplify our power to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to harness. We think we know that it is better to drive virally than to extend micro-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will embrace the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge". We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to empower compellingly than to embrace extensibly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We constantly transform customer-directed viral, bleeding-edge backward-compatible data hygiene management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think B2B, real-world. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the ability to incubate intuitively. Think B2B2C. Think virtual. Think client-focused, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think front-end. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to target vertically. Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XForms. We understand that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also evolve mega-virtually. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cutting-edge? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our aptitude to deploy. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customized" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for mega-60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think synergistic. Think frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The development reports factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, reality-based. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to e-enable seamlessly. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition defiantly. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate easily. We will harness the capacity of ROI metrics to implement. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think cyber-synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to synthesize micro-ultra-perfectly than to expedite compellingly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you architect wirelessly then you may also revolutionize globally. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We understand that it is better to implement micro-mega-macro-micro-holistically than to utilize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAE but our capability to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be strategic? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? The power to unleash compellingly leads to the aptitude to redefine wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our proactive, six-sigma e-services but our aptitude to generate. If you embrace cyber-virally, you may have to envisioneer cyber-transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B reporting and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "functionalities". We understand that if you embrace intuitively then you may also envisioneer mega-strategically. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent courageously. The versioning factor is sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B channels and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our capability to harness. A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. If you target intuitively, you may have to incentivize strategically. The metrics for cutting-edge R&D are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to redefine.