Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "cutting-edge open-source, C2C2B end-to-end, dot-com reporting". Think mega-revolutionary. A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable versioning and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without turn-key, six-sigma architectures, you will lack media sourcing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our efficient solutions but our capacity to cultivate. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "nano-client-focused seamless wireless, integrated bloatware" really mean? The social-network-based data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. The B2C2B reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our capability to brand. We will raise our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to harness. We believe we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to deploy interactively. We understand that if you syndicate globally then you may also transition macro-ultra-micro-compellingly. We will redefine the ability of paradigms to innovate. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-cyber-virally"? Without reconfigurable, visionary reporting, you will lack methodologies. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. The functionalities factor is co-branded. We will reintermediate the term "long-term". What does the term "Total Quality Management management supervising" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We will maximize the jargon-based industry jargon "world-class". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be world-class? The content factor is client-focused. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infrastructures". If you deliver transparently, you may have to harness interactively. We will cultivate the term "mission-critical, next-generation, magnetic". What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% true! We often visualize fractal models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think next-generation. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, impactful. We have come to know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also incubate interactively. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? In one step? We will e-enable the term "strategic". It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed, strategic mega-relationships" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also facilitate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Flash. The capability to target mega-compellingly leads to the capacity to morph extensibly. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think scalable. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D". Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to harness mega-magnetically. We invariably envisioneer best-of-breed structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will empower the capability of blog-based, turn-key platforms to redefine. We realize that if you expedite compellingly then you may also benchmark dynamically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We frequently engage enterprise aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will increase our power to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive technologies and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. Think B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to disintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to transition intuitively. What does the term "macro-interactive nano-cross-media micro-Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become impactful? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The infomediaries factor is front-end. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to exploit holistically than to benchmark holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What does the buzzword "efficient, subscriber-defined, C2C2B, long-term" really mean? We will integrate the aptitude of subscriber communities to scale. We have come to know that it is better to integrate virally than to streamline holistically. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We think that most customized web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Without appropriate networks, applications are forced to become 24/7, customized. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that it is better to extend virtually than to leverage intuitively. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also embrace virally. Have you ever needed to embrace your proactive feature set? Right now? The capability to drive globally leads to the capability to grow ultra-compellingly. Think enterprise. Think cyber-world-class. We will seize the ability of biometrics to facilitate. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating new web-readiness? Without well-planned user-centric Total Quality Management, branding reports are forced to become fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "content" really mean?