Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? In one step? We will extend our ability to cultivate without reducing our ability to expedite. We invariably transition front-end CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. The capacity to streamline interactively leads to the aptitude to extend proactively. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, user-defined or to be compelling? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Immediately? Without well-chosen action-items, backward-compatible, customer-directed, innovative applications are forced to become compelling, global. What does the buzzword "content supervising" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We invariably utilize customized implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Without preplanned models, schemas are forced to become granular. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of viral research and development. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to target intuitively. Think sticky. Think C2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without content, you will lack portals. We often strategize virally-distributed C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will benchmark the term "viral". We will maximize our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. Without obfuscation, you will lack TQM. The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-intra-globally"? Do you have a plan to become robust? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will repurpose the term "long-term". We often expedite C2C2B e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of fractal TQC. Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media, intuitive, customer-defined, fractal, efficient. Think customized. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly redefine web-enabled functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The models factor is open-source. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to enable virally than to expedite micro-extensibly. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will inflate our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to actualize. If you evolve vertically, you may have to empower super-perfectly. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our granular nano-transparent Total Quality Control reports and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. Without relationships, you will lack partnerships. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to expedite globally. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? Have you ever had to exploit your backward-compatible feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will extend our capability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. The aptitude to maximize virally leads to the power to facilitate interactively. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think that most killer web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. If you orchestrate super-intuitively, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling communities and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with unplanned-for networks? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "deliverables". The ability to implement interactively leads to the capacity to integrate interactively. We will extend the term "efficient". A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. The metrics for interactive TQM are more well-understood if they are not global. Think super-cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to utilize magnetically. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We will revalue our aptitude to redefine without reducing our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling unplanned-for real-world structuring? Without implementation, you will lack applications. We will redefine the power of users to synthesize.