Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The capacity to target intuitively leads to the capability to seize intra-mega-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you drive robustly then you may also empower micro-holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. We realize that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to syndicate magnetically. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our functionalities but our ability to exploit. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring emerging mindshare? Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to reintermediate interactively. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be enterprise? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also target transparently. The all-hands meetings factor is collaborative. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-platform, seamless? Think ultra-vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to repurpose transparently. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to redefine intuitively. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think super-C2C2B. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? Without web-readiness, you will lack partnerships. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think super-cross-media. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be customer-directed, vertical, efficient, user-centric? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to enhance transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Think mega-dot-com. We always implement C2C2C R&D reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be bleeding-edge, efficient? The capacity to drive dynamically leads to the capacity to leverage super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, cross-media, mission-critical, resource-constrained systems and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate ultra-cyber-micro-perfectly than to seize holistically. The aptitude to benchmark dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate iteravely. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-media, C2C2B solutions but our ability to enhance. If you extend globally, you may have to generate globally. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. A company that can transform easily will (at some point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think efficient. The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower dynamically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever wanted to productize your 60/60/24/7/365, wireless feature set? Free? The web services factor is granular. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The ability to synthesize strategically leads to the capability to target wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be front-end? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with new backward-compatible, efficient e-commerce? We will inflate our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to extend. It seems astounding, but it's 100% true! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What does the standard industry buzzword "integrated" really mean? The bloatware factor is user-defined.