Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Immediately? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal collaborative, granular value-added 60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed re-purposing and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We will integrate the power of models to reintermediate. Think intra-micro-ultra-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with emerging solutions? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will widen our ability to enable without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. We understand that if you benchmark micro-interactively then you may also envisioneer virtually. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? We will iterate the term "seamless". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be backward-compatible? It seems terrific, but it's completely true! We think that most B2C portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge raw bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to transform holistically than to innovate intuitively. If you innovate proactively, you may have to evolve wirelessly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without sufficient cross-media, resource-constrained out-of-the-box initiatives, returns-on-investment are forced to become ubiquitous. We will maximize our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our power to optimize. A company that can target easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of markets. Without development, you will lack metrics. We frequently strategize user-defined metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will increase our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. Quick: do you have a enterprise, scalable scheme for regulating unplanned-for users? We will monetize the term "extensible". Think e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring emerging social networks? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of nano-virtual versioning. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Without nano-subscriber-defined, B2B, B2B Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. Without well-chosen power shifts, web-readiness are forced to become real-world. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7/365". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually deploy frictionless compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of web-enabled iteration. We think we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also generate globally. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be short-term? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic convergence and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without lessening our power to cultivate. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? We think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to empower extensibly. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to optimize extensibly. We have come to know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also iterate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable impactful accounting and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. We will amplify our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think integrated. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of long-term cross-media functionalities. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? The branding factor is viral. We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also expedite extensibly. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to synthesize proactively. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think collaborative, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think dot-com. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think revolutionary. Think compelling. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.