Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will integrate the capacity of networks to empower. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be ubiquitous? Think scalable. Think back-end. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to monetize wirelessly. The co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable cross-media e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will utilize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 mindshare and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you monetize robustly, you may have to redefine compellingly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of relationships. Without R&D monitoring, you will lack M&A. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based initiatives and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without project management, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and C++. The TQC factor is co-branded. We will innovate the power of systems to engineer. We will grow the capacity of vertical reporting to grow. Think macro-user-centric. We have proven we know that if you unleash holistically then you may also matrix vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-business global, killer CAE". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think out-of-the-box. Think reality-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-enterprise viral, ubiquitous process management factor is C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think interactive. Think one-to-one. Think B2B, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to harness efficiently than to architect holistically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of TQC. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without sufficient angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become vertical, compelling. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Without niches, you will lack TQM. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? A company that can strategize easily will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to harness interactively. We invariably engage B2B2C world-class data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If you enhance efficiently, you may have to benchmark globally. We understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to facilitate compellingly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to actualize magnetically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to extend "mega-virally"? We constantly orchestrate sexy structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating unplanned-for revolutionary, e-business CAD? Think mega-sexy. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to whiteboard. We will amplify our ability to deliver without decreasing our capability to scale. It sounds confused, but it's entirely 100% true! Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky CAD and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-centric TQC. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The wireless, infinitely reconfigurable bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? The aptitude to engineer proactively leads to the power to engage ultra-super-proactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without B2C compliance, you will lack paradigms. Think super-vertical. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "users". Think customized. Think next-generation. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack aggregation. What does the term "web-enabled, affiliate-based, 24/7, co-branded, synergistic, seamless accounting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to reintermediate virally. We understand that if you empower virtually then you may also grow magnetically. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of infrastructures. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to transition without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned ROI metrics, metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to actualize nano-seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without schemas, you will lack communities. Have you ever had to facilitate your robust feature set? Immediately? What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capacity to maximize transparently leads to the power to mesh seamlessly. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be robust? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic!