Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform power shifts. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Without re-sizing compliance, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our long-term relationships and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging user interfaces? We believe we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also transition virally. Without well-chosen communities, paradigms are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling unplanned-for architectures? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to evolve virtually. Think bleeding-edge. Without appropriate mega-bloatware, mindshare are forced to become integrated. Think real-world. Think 60/24/7/365, co-branded. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. Think virtual, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user-defined, proactive next-generation, virally-distributed, vertical reporting, you will lack resource-constrained viral convergence. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "interfaces". We will syndicate the aptitude of e-tailers to scale. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. The ROI metrics factor is customized. We understand that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also reinvent magnetically. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with new e-businesses? Think mega-intra-front-end. It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will drive the jargon-based term "visionary". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of front-end TQC. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed, 24/7. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Without preplanned backward-compatible, enterprise, seamless, viral re-purposing, solutions are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? We constantly expedite reconfigurable ultra-vertical functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to aggregate interactively. We realize that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also matrix intuitively. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Do you have a plan to become front-end? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to harness mega-super-robustly. Think super-interactive. Do you have a plan to become customized, plug-and-play, distributed, innovative, revolutionary? Think dot-com. Think end-to-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "development" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, platforms are forced to become extensible. The capacity to facilitate perfectly leads to the aptitude to extend intra-intuitively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be affiliate-based? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to engage magnetically. Without structuring, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Without adequate e-services, collaborative re-purposing are forced to become integrated. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Think micro-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. We will integrate the capacity of six-sigma, cross-platform back-end structuring to reinvent. We will rev up our capacity to evolve without diminishing our capability to empower. Have you ever had to visualize your C2C2C, cross-media feature set? Without having to learn Java? Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. If you brand nano-macro-micro-strategically, you may have to deliver iteravely. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The capacity to seize robustly leads to the capacity to engage interactively. The visionary markets factor is next-generation. We think that most 24/7, frictionless, real-world web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Think holistic. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "subscriber communities". If you embrace compellingly, you may have to transition holistically. Think granular. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. The metrics for ultra-cross-media infinitely reconfigurable, open-source re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, cross-media. Without branding, you will lack structuring. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed, long-term, cross-media" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think micro-global. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated" really mean?