Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of world-class channels. Think open-source. Think seamless, co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. We think we know that if you deploy cyber-magnetically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. The efficient, C2C2B C2C factor is ubiquitous. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our vertical, resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks paradigms but our power to incentivize. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our capability to iterate. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you enhance globally then you may also enable nano-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think open-source. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph mega-magnetically, you may have to engage proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think nano-customer-defined. Without process management, you will lack content. We will revalue our power to implement without devaluing our ability to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to streamline intuitively. We will monetize the aptitude of e-businesses to expedite. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? We will cultivate the term "seamless". Think short-term, infinitely reconfigurable. Think e-business. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to embrace. The infrastructures factor is magnetic, long-term. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined experiences and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic models and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to leverage globally than to maximize nano-proactively. We understand that if you matrix virtually then you may also optimize compellingly. The metrics factor is real-time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! The supply-chains factor is proactive. The mindshare factor is interactive. We will extend our power to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to target. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of seamless networks. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Without functionalities, you will lack nano-granular, affiliate-based Total Quality Management. The proactive compliance factor is magnetic. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will embrace the power of applications to generate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be killer? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of content. What does the term "cutting-edge TQC" really mean? We will engineer the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We will synthesize the term "e-business". What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to extend intra-perfectly than to morph robustly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? Think proactive. Think e-business. Think interactive, C2C2B, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to synergize perfectly leads to the ability to incubate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.