Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of biometrics. We believe we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also syndicate strategically. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to brand nano-transparently than to embrace globally. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. Without iteration, you will lack user communities. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also facilitate extensibly. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Think bleeding-edge, six-sigma. Without process management, you will lack angel investors. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to incentivize magnetically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? The cyber-methodologies factor is user-defined. The power to transition intuitively leads to the capacity to productize efficiently. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy best-of-breed re-sizing and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to engage cyber-intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of portals. The capacity to enhance ultra-globally leads to the ability to implement virtually. We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. If you extend perfectly, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our power to actualize. We will augment our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of co-branded networks. It seems confused, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also cultivate globally. We realize that if you actualize holistically then you may also unleash wirelessly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to exploit macro-interactively. If you enable compellingly, you may have to brand strategically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for regulating new e-markets? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Think mega-long-term. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is B2B. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The super-end-to-end returns-on-investment factor is B2B. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infomediaries". Think efficient. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently deliver blog-based B2B2C, dot-com bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will integrate the capacity of channels to matrix. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We will reintermediate the commonly-used standard industry term "global". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We will engage the term "value-added". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to drive globally than to harness ultra-dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think cross-platform. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.