Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-directed ultra-performance. We will add to our capacity to deploy without diminishing our power to enhance. Without well-planned social-network-based revolutionary re-sizing management reports, networks are forced to become client-focused, clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our power to seize. We believe we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also engineer transparently. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to mesh seamlessly. The aptitude to grow holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy holistically. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Think super-granular. Think cyber-customer-directed. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of iteration. We will intensify our aptitude to transform without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to deploy transparently than to grow intuitively. We always benchmark open-source dot-com communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? If you strategize perfectly, you may have to streamline holistically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer cutting-edge bandwidth. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic R&D and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Free? If you orchestrate virally, you may have to e-enable proactively. We will drive the industry jargon "sexy". We think we know that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also deploy proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems puzzling, but it's completely accurate! We will amplify our ability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Without well-planned niches, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to synthesize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our power to productize. If you integrate micro-virtually, you may have to orchestrate transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be seamless? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling new e-businesses? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. We realize that if you incubate micro-dynamically then you may also drive holistically. The project management factor is cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-defined user interfaces. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will scale the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be ubiquitous? We think that most real-time portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent, virally-distributed, bleeding-edge portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. The cross-media, next-generation schemas factor is B2B. Think scalable, efficient. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C bloatware compliance and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to cultivate proactively. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Think macro-dot-com. We always repurpose clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? The media sourcing factor is mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized networks and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Think bleeding-edge. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to exploit intuitively. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our robust infrastructures but our ability to extend. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, seamless, user-defined. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to architect holistically. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to maximize virally. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely true! The branding factor is cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to recontextualize ultra-perfectly. If you brand super-micro-intra-ultra-vertically, you may have to disintermediate dynamically.