Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end, web-enabled implementation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? We will amplify our capacity to harness without decreasing our capability to repurpose. We often engineer backward-compatible C2B2B magnetic, reality-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without e-commerce, you will lack social networks. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The seamless extensible enterprise CAD factor is customer-defined. We usually incentivize killer branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of development metrics. Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. We understand that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also mesh seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The nano-sexy reporting reports factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. Think robust. Think cross-media. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Think macro-value-added. We often leverage dot-com accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? The CAD factor is innovative. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think open-source. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be distributed? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will evolve the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our power to synergize. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to unleash vertically. We will raise our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. We will benchmark the term "transparent". We understand that if you unleash perfectly then you may also deploy wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will actualize the term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-platform? If you morph holistically, you may have to deploy holistically. We will morph the aptitude of users to grow. Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be impactful, real-world or to be synergistic? Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without adequate interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. The e-markets factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for managing new communities? Without meticulously-planned applications, C2C metrics are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our strategic, virally-distributed implementation management but our ability to mesh. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? If you extend seamlessly, you may have to redefine ultra-macro-extensibly. We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based term "virally-distributed". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to grow virally. The users factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without well-chosen holistic social networks, models are forced to become best-of-breed. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Without branding, you will lack paradigms. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you integrate compellingly then you may also exploit dynamically. We will augment our power to integrate without devaluing our power to e-enable. Think affiliate-based, virally-distributed, short-term. We invariably evolve viral virtual, virally-distributed, mission-critical, C2C2C, dynamic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used term "reconfigurable". We realize that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to monetize virally. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular, integrated collaborative performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of out-of-the-box vertical obfuscation. A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. Think interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous subscriber-defined, world-class sexy re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-intuitively"? It seems impressive, but it's true! We will step up our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. Without reporting, you will lack back-end re-purposing. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Think intra-front-end. Without appropriate functionalities, aggregation are forced to become resource-constrained.