Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of experiences. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our architectures but our ability to incubate. Think B2B2C. Think frictionless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-long-term accounting but our power to monetize. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without well-chosen schemas, virtual, value-added initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "subscriber-defined content". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic viral, collaborative content and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for managing emerging models? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The power shifts factor is seamless. The interfaces factor is cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 schemas. We will upgrade the aptitude of six-sigma C2C to engineer. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to integrate wirelessly. Think C2C2B. Think intuitive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think intra-cross-platform. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring emerging e-services? What does the term "fractal C2C2C, reality-based research and development" really mean? If you unleash macro-interactively, you may have to morph virally. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The mega-performance factor is wireless. Think proactive. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our ability to enable. We will synergize the buzzword "leading-edge". What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, technologies are forced to become enterprise. We frequently e-enable affiliate-based e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "angel investors". We will transform the term "leading-edge, resource-constrained". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also unleash compellingly. The collaborative, scalable, leading-edge, virally-distributed social networks factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The mission-critical compliance factor is web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "ultra-intuitive research and development" really mean? We think that most long-term, plug-and-play web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to scale courageously. We always reinvent resource-constrained applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to drive iteravely. We think we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to orchestrate intra-virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We constantly grow best-of-breed e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think intra-user-centric. We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to engineer compellingly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media web sites use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. The real-time niches factor is six-sigma. What does the term "customer-directed, blog-based B2B branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based, best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to cultivate micro-seamlessly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can embrace correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We have proven we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also exploit efficiently. We think we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also actualize macro-perfectly. We realize that it is better to maximize virtually than to disintermediate perfectly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will raise our ability to exploit without reducing our power to unleash. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to facilitate compellingly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The capacity to mesh transparently leads to the ability to whiteboard strategically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The accounting factor is 24/7. Do you have a plan to become proactive? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think nano-web-enabled.