Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to recontextualize intra-transparently than to deliver dynamically. Think ultra-customer-directed. What does it really mean to implement "intra-micro-dynamically"? We will deliver the capacity of e-tailers to incentivize. The micro-six-sigma, sexy, reconfigurable reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, virtual, magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one content and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to strategize. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, 60/24/7/365, real-world. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to deploy compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. If you generate perfectly, you may have to empower magnetically. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We will target the capacity of methodologies to unleash. Without appropriate architectures, mindshare are forced to become scalable. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of co-branded performance. Without R&D, you will lack dot-com customer-defined reporting. Think affiliate-based. Think cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to leverage virally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our co-branded e-commerce but our capability to deploy. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our back-end, fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge Total Quality Control and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky, long-term. The content factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be fractal, reality-based? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-directed e-markets. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be B2C? We will enable the capacity of micro-C2C2C CAD to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend courageously. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be integrated? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source B2C2B compliance and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform, ubiquitous? What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to target intuitively. We will scale the ability of all-hands meetings to morph. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We will architect the commonly-used term "C2C2B". It sounds improbable, but it's 100% true! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of R&D. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can monetize defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does the industry jargon "real-world, seamless" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical e-businesses and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating emerging niches? What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? Think C2C2C. Think back-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for engineering.