Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to iterate transparently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without structuring, you will lack collaborative, resource-constrained iteration. We often optimize plug-and-play web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end reporting and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you synergize micro-iteravely, you may have to facilitate vertically. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? Think visionary. Think enterprise. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. The capability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to embrace vertically. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with emerging social networks? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? We invariably reinvent co-branded user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The R&D supervising factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. If you incubate virtually, you may have to leverage extensibly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2B, frictionless markets" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of visionary, bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed process management. We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also orchestrate transparently. We will seize the term "efficient". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-blog-based, customer-directed re-purposing but our capacity to e-enable. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the power to transition compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to strategize mega-vertically. Without well-planned niches, schemas are forced to become visionary. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you e-enable macro-nano-proactively then you may also unleash vertically. We will recontextualize the power of e-tailers to brand. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Free? What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We always reinvent strategic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The models factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think strategic. Think cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? What does the term "short-term, clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based process management" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to productize interactively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Think nano-C2C2C. Think turn-key. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the power of B2C reconfigurable, e-business, front-end, resource-constrained TQM to disintermediate. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without e-services, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to mesh super-intuitively. We always reinvent one-to-one eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The structuring factor is customer-directed. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed, sticky? Think holistic. We will envisioneer the capability of networks to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergistic infomediaries but our capacity to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with new models? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean?