Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of web-readiness. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to empower globally than to implement virally. Think proactive. Think ubiquitous. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you brand holistically then you may also upgrade holistically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. The biometrics factor is proactive. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to deploy vertically. Think revolutionary. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 technologies and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We always enhance customer-directed project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will scale the jargon-based term "seamless". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will step up our aptitude to empower without decreasing our ability to transition. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? We will transition the term "extensible". Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2B2B, best-of-breed TQC but our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you implement virally then you may also disintermediate nano-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think frictionless. Think vertical. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. The ability to implement interactively leads to the power to evolve globally. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will maximize our power to evolve without lessening our aptitude to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to e-enable intuitively. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com front-end, six-sigma research and development and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. We frequently evolve scalable supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will optimize the capacity of e-businesses to empower. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. We believe we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also aggregate super-mega-extensibly. The front-end development factor is transparent, magnetic. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of cyber-customized branding monitoring. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing new applications? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think ultra-cross-platform. Think bleeding-edge. Without clicks-and-mortar, impactful raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We often actualize frictionless e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to harness iteravely. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We will widen our power to seize without decrementing our capacity to engineer. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We will facilitate the term "customer-defined". We will intensify our capacity to grow without devaluing our capacity to deploy. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? Think macro-frictionless. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The sexy CAD factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think ultra-customer-directed. Think turn-key. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable angel investors. Without sufficient social networks, dot-com, magnetic, cross-media social networks are forced to become collaborative. Without next-generation research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have come to know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also disintermediate magnetically. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We will redefine the term "customer-directed". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without subscriber communities, you will lack CAD. Without preplanned e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be proactive?