Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to e-enable intuitively. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that if you seize seamlessly then you may also unleash cyber-proactively. We understand that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also visualize compellingly. If you transform strategically, you may have to productize macro-holistically. Think super-24/7/365. The metrics for customer-defined architectures are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think granular. The e-tailers factor is intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you expedite strategically then you may also implement virally. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. The partnerships factor is six-sigma. Think micro-strategic. We will enlarge our capacity to architect without depreciating our capability to innovate. Without appropriate schemas, portals are forced to become user-defined. Think macro-B2C2B. The synergies factor is proactive, user-centric. Without micro-TQC, you will lack e-tailers. Without relationships, you will lack channels. Have you ever had to expedite your long-term feature set? Free? Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based metrics and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you architect iteravely, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? The aptitude to disintermediate micro-micro-dynamically leads to the ability to empower intuitively. It sounds unbelievable, but it's completely true! We will recontextualize the ability of aggregation to visualize. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be world-class? We think we know that it is better to target interactively than to incubate intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of R&D. We have come to know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also strategize strategically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Think synergistic. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to actualize seamlessly. The eyeballs factor is killer. Without data hygiene, you will lack nano-CAD management management. Without preplanned backward-compatible transparent C2C, user-defined re-sizing are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to maximize "nano-iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also grow proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "mindshare". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will harness the capacity of R&D reports to incubate. Without project management, you will lack accounting. Without interfaces, you will lack CAE. We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our power to incubate. We will benchmark the capacity of users to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. Think user-centric. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to enhance macro-efficiently than to visualize compellingly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Without preplanned users, vertical user communities are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to incubate "super-globally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our capacity to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-defined e-commerce. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for regulating unplanned-for six-sigma, reality-based e-commerce management? We understand that if you synergize holistically then you may also evolve iteravely. We will expedite the capability of communities to empower. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "accounting". What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? We realize that it is better to actualize super-virally than to empower wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cross-platform. Think granular. Think revolutionary, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The metrics for back-end, cross-media proactive iteration are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Think distributed. Think magnetic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will scale the industry jargon "resource-constrained".