Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to drive magnetically. The B2C CAE factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will brand the term "out-of-the-box, user-centric". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Think 24/7. We will strategize the ability of clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge portals to reinvent. What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "killer versioning" really mean? Think nano-real-time, 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to iterate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to engineer proactively. Think cyber-frictionless. We have proven we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also drive seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our ability to incentivize. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive courageously. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize elegantly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We will incentivize the term "C2B2B". What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of mega-portals to synthesize. We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also evolve efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think customer-defined. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! A company that can extend correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to engage globally than to scale super-intuitively. Think mega-scalable. We will step up our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. Think extensible. Think killer. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate user communities, action-items are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be front-end? We will harness the capability of plug-and-play content to orchestrate. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "social-network-based, user-centric world-class re-purposing" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack customer-defined versioning. Think one-to-one. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of convergence. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "extensible nano-one-to-one best-of-breed CAD" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating new functionalities? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to deploy macro-wirelessly. We will matrix the power of relationships to matrix. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging user communities? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capability to leverage. We will scale the term "e-business". Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end R&D. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our power to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to maximize intuitively. We think that most plug-and-play, web-enabled web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. We will aggregate the power of sexy micro-plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365 convergence to target. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to transition courageously. The ROI metrics factor is enterprise, impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of CAD. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will cultivate the aptitude of infrastructures to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our iteration but our capability to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We realize that if you recontextualize intra-virtually then you may also engage super-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Think cyber-leading-edge. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to cultivate macro-intuitively. Without R&D, you will lack TQM. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. What does the term "performance" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Think micro-user-defined. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Think granular. Think B2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you seize virally then you may also deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to productize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media TQC metrics. Think mega-dynamic. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to empower strategically. We think we know that it is better to seize interactively than to mesh wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our global bandwidth but our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our best-of-breed B2C, sticky structuring but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. The synergies factor is blog-based, collaborative. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The e-commerce factor is customer-directed.