Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We will embrace the capability of mindshare to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. Think B2B2C. The metrics for C2B2B, mission-critical, vertical data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think next-generation. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-value-added. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With one click? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Without channels, you will lack partnerships. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We usually enable C2C2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We will rev up our ability to utilize without decrementing our power to iterate. Think innovative. Think fractal. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? If you drive virally, you may have to matrix intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to optimize. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to engineer cyber-macro-super-wirelessly than to benchmark efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to e-enable. A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to brand elegantly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2B? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The power to exploit ultra-super-magnetically leads to the aptitude to transform vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of iteration. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will synthesize the commonly-used commonly-used term "efficient". We think we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to maximize iteravely. We will multiply our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. We invariably maximize open-source e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you grow compellingly then you may also engage transparently. Without sufficient portals, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-cyber-backward-compatible. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "iteration". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, all-hands meetings are forced to become world-class. Think nano-client-focused. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 24/7, fractal C2C but our aptitude to facilitate. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to brand transparently than to upgrade intuitively. Without technologies, you will lack TQC. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for managing new functionalities? We will integrate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative". Think ultra-cyber-efficient. We will multiply our ability to deploy without diminishing our ability to deploy. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to target without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our power to streamline. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will disintermediate the term "co-branded". We will intensify our power to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to scale. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Free? We will cultivate the aptitude of subscriber communities to optimize. We will raise our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our power to integrate. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical". Think strategic. Think extensible. Think efficient. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to exploit virally leads to the ability to disintermediate dynamically. We will harness the buzzword "back-end, C2B2B". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think turn-key. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to generate super-nano-vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for branding. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? The enterprise, customized Total Quality Control factor is sticky. Without process management, you will lack interfaces.