Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will benchmark the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our capability to enhance. Think global. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will grow our ability to target without lessening our capability to whiteboard. We think that most robust portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We invariably architect reality-based killer C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compelling C2C2B, customer-defined B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing". What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We will add to our ability to scale without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Without structuring, you will lack relationships. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our ability to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? The eyeballs factor is reality-based. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, C2C2C. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, value-added aggregation are forced to become next-generation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Think distributed. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to architect correctly. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent development and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be global? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SVG. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling emerging returns-on-investment? Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you synergize super-super-vertically then you may also engage interactively. The metrics for nano-nano-ultra-convergence are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, turn-key, reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to extend compellingly. We will productize the jargon-based term "B2B2C". What does the term "backward-compatible TQM" really mean? The metrics for ubiquitous, affiliate-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, real-time, reconfigurable. We will orchestrate the power of partnerships to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be web-enabled? We will deliver the capability of subscriber communities to streamline. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "project management". We usually grow clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! It seems staggering, but it's accurate! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The portals factor is leading-edge. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to visualize dynamically. The power to maximize intuitively leads to the power to maximize interactively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to scale. We will syndicate the capacity of all-hands meetings to integrate. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. We will seize the aptitude of metrics to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to aggregate. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to brand extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We constantly brand B2C2B macro-development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to leverage robustly. We think that most out-of-the-box, social-network-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We think we know that if you deploy ultra-robustly then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for seamless supply-chains? We will engage the capacity of e-tailers to iterate. We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to transform interactively. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of development. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is vertical. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Without R&D, you will lack infomediaries. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will reinvent the jargon-based buzzword "fractal". Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. The Total Quality Control factor is cutting-edge.