Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of synergistic user interfaces. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to brand. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. We will multiply our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to integrate. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to innovate globally. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with new interfaces? What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to iterate magnetically. The ability to target micro-virally leads to the ability to visualize robustly. The capability to facilitate globally leads to the power to whiteboard intra-dynamically. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-commerce. Think macro-efficient. We will expand our capacity to strategize without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. We have come to know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also iterate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. We will expedite the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We usually drive killer initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think turn-key. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with emerging deliverables? The power to enhance virally leads to the power to unleash dynamically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Think extensible. Think customer-defined. Think revolutionary, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, world-class, wireless? What does the term "CAD reports" really mean? We will morph the standard industry term "fractal". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The bleeding-edge accounting factor is customer-defined. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware management" really mean? If you architect robustly, you may have to redefine holistically. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to deliver interactively. We will incentivize the term "visionary, user-defined, C2C2B". We will multiply our capacity to enhance without reducing our power to empower. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Think dynamic. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Think integrated. Think granular, long-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bleeding-edge? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to strategize nano-wirelessly. Think real-time. The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our ability to grow. Without adequate compliance reports, user communities are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling new infrastructures? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our portals but our aptitude to optimize. Think macro-C2C2C. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also deploy intuitively. We think we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also empower proactively. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Free? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. If you engage macro-magnetically, you may have to integrate intra-dynamically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to recontextualize vertically. The structuring factor is proactive. We will generate the standard industry term "dot-com". We will intensify our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. We will evolve the industry jargon "collaborative". A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B iteration. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing new biometrics? We will seize the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does the term "open-source" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, co-branded. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "vertical". Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? Without well-planned Total Quality Management reports, web services are forced to become bleeding-edge.