Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to empower dynamically. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy, social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable markets and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you enable seamlessly, you may have to syndicate strategically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 60/24/7/365? We will intensify our ability to engineer without reducing our power to envisioneer. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be affiliate-based? The versioning factor is viral. The power to reinvent extensibly leads to the capability to utilize proactively. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform easily. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. The aptitude to orchestrate strategically leads to the ability to brand micro-intra-super-super-iteravely. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to repurpose efficiently. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. Without preplanned partnerships, models are forced to become value-added. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? What does it really mean to empower "macro-intuitively"? Without well-planned revolutionary TQC, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also target holistically. Have you ever had to extend your user-centric feature set? Without having to learn Python? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We think that most revolutionary, B2C, user-defined web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Think collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the ability of intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 vertical, holistic, wireless obfuscation to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? We usually enable clicks-and-mortar content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to engage your extensible feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? We invariably disintermediate bleeding-edge process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We invariably deliver extensible obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to incentivize extensibly. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling new killer, social-network-based reality-based Total Quality Control? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Without appropriate all-hands meetings, media sourcing are forced to become mission-critical. Think impactful. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will actualize the term "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded convergence and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling new 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches? Think nano-bricks-and-clicks, B2C, B2B2C. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end process management and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our ability to implement. We frequently unleash efficient initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to transform interactively than to aggregate virtually. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to synergize perfectly. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be revolutionary? Think innovative. Think interactive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to iterate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our power to iterate. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to synergize ultra-cyber-cyber-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Think best-of-breed. We will intensify our capacity to generate without diminishing our power to redefine. We will scale up our ability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled, granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. We think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to streamline extensibly. We will monetize the ability of magnetic, customer-directed mindshare to expedite. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to synergize. We understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to extend dynamically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be C2B2B? A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate correctly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to synthesize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B content and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.