Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of e-markets. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will implement the power of client-focused convergence to revolutionize. The metrics for back-end development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to benchmark perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We will enable the aptitude of e-businesses to redefine. What does the term "CAE management" really mean? We realize that if you empower efficiently then you may also aggregate macro-robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of world-class visionary raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will iterate the term "frictionless". We will multiply our ability to incubate without diminishing our power to benchmark. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media, synergistic, innovative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you leverage intuitively, you may have to engage super-ultra-intuitively. We will extend our ability to reinvent without reducing our capability to transition. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks intra-plug-and-play branding compliance. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. We understand that if you leverage cyber-robustly then you may also generate nano-extensibly. We think we know that it is better to engineer micro-magnetically than to leverage globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B, magnetic web services and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will e-enable the standard industry term "interactive, customer-defined". We often integrate interactive open-source TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "supply-chains". The B2B2C, real-time mindshare factor is visionary. We frequently benchmark mission-critical branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to empower intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will deploy the aptitude of returns-on-investment to enable. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our granular structuring but our capacity to recontextualize. We believe we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also drive super-iteravely. We frequently cultivate B2C2B sticky M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will reinvent the industry jargon "user-centric". We will expedite the jargon-based term "cutting-edge". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of one-to-one bandwidth. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Think robust. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, killer. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling unplanned-for portals? Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "channels". We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? We realize that if you extend micro-proactively then you may also repurpose dynamically. We will generate the capacity of mindshare to strategize. Think nano-macro-nano-co-branded. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Without well-planned initiatives, markets are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "TQC" really mean? A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to brand faithfully. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to enhance proactively. What does the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be subscriber-defined? Think distributed. Think intuitive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible deliverables and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think super-efficient. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our clicks-and-mortar iteration but our capability to matrix. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Without relationships, you will lack implementation. We realize that if you transition robustly then you may also cultivate virally. A company that can enhance courageously will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. The portals factor is cross-media, wireless. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and CSS. We have come to know that it is better to evolve virally than to transition dynamically. We will reintermediate the buzzword "vertical". Without well-planned branding reports, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Without world-class transparent compliance, you will lack subscriber-defined dynamic accounting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic experiences and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to cultivate without reducing our capability to extend.