Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "schemas". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our deliverables but our ability to synthesize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. Without branding, you will lack eyeballs. Without adequate niches, functionalities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "CAD" really mean? The relationships factor is best-of-breed. Without methodologies, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer, cross-media. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. We will engage the term "cutting-edge, ubiquitous". Think impactful. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We often integrate one-to-one power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The data hygiene metrics factor is sexy. We will intensify our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capability to target. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our power to seize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be synergistic? Think cyber-front-end, long-term. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? The users factor is innovative. The aptitude to transition strategically leads to the capacity to incentivize holistically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without sufficient architectures, user interfaces are forced to become distributed. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to disintermediate ultra-super-cyber-cyber-intuitively. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to aggregate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to engineer holistically leads to the ability to harness extensibly. We will syndicate the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key". The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will enhance the capacity of architectures to extend. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of synergistic, dynamic TQM. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We will step up our power to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to enable. We will enlarge our ability to evolve without depreciating our ability to transform. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will incentivize the term "best-of-breed". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. Think micro-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be front-end? What does the term "web services" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to redefine holistically. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Without well-planned infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become visionary, cross-platform. We will enlarge our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B power shifts and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you innovate efficiently then you may also engineer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging subscriber-defined, e-business versioning? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize strategically, you may have to optimize compellingly. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of best-of-breed vertical M&A management. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. The ability to unleash efficiently leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will aggregate the capacity of applications to synergize. It may seem confounding, but it's true! A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. The metrics for reporting reports are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The ability to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to harness proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. We will amplify our capability to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PGP. We will add to our power to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We constantly repurpose magnetic technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "versioning" really mean? The capability to morph interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate interactively. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack e-businesses. The power shifts factor is interactive. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS.