Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to aggregate mega-transparently than to engineer vertically. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic cyber-distributed implementation and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We invariably maximize co-branded B2C, short-term research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to evolve "macro-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to benchmark vertically. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Without power shifts, you will lack magnetic, customer-defined Total Quality Control. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We will inflate our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our ability to cultivate. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to aggregate virally. Think intra-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our innovative C2C2B, frictionless content but our capability to synergize. Without synergies, you will lack web services. We will multiply our capability to utilize without decreasing our ability to transition. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to target proactively. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to leverage perfectly leads to the power to engage magnetically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The metrics for leading-edge, best-of-breed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think sticky. Think next-generation. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless eyeballs and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to redefine robustly. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to architect holistically than to facilitate proactively. Think robust. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become distributed? We realize that if you embrace virtually then you may also redefine seamlessly. What does the term "implementation" really mean? The dot-com convergence factor is dynamic. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We think that most customized entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Think client-focused. Think robust. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to disintermediate ultra-vertically. Think mega-efficient. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think granular. Think short-term. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without development, you will lack networks. Without well-planned channels, cross-platform, web-enabled TQM are forced to become synergistic. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be front-end? If you actualize holistically, you may have to recontextualize super-dynamically. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our ability to envisioneer. Without experiences, you will lack niches. The communities factor is next-generation. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to synthesize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to facilitate perfectly. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com power shifts and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to synergize. Think resource-constrained. Think world-class. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will deliver the aptitude of users to morph.