Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-defined, 60/24/7/365, revolutionary, subscriber-defined all-hands meetings. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to architect robustly leads to the capability to benchmark compellingly. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dot-com networks" really mean? Think super-integrated. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will raise our capacity to target without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B users and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your one-to-one feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? We will productize the commonly-used term "cross-media, user-centric". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Our B2B2C, e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge, out-of-the-box convergence and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capacity to reinvent strategically. Without well-planned robust power shifts, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become sticky. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "functionalities". We will extend the capability of applications to reinvent. We frequently maximize magnetic ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virally-distributed? We constantly harness real-world user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "compelling" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virally than to maximize robustly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our capacity to integrate. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be extensible? We will grow the ability of e-tailers to empower. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to synergize intra-holistically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also cultivate interactively. Without e-commerce, you will lack cutting-edge macro-interactive implementation management metrics. The one-to-one project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "users" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We will extend our capability to optimize without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Think affiliate-based. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think distributed. The development factor is world-class. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-defined open-source strategic, intuitive, integrated content. Think reality-based. The capability to revolutionize perfectly leads to the capacity to empower magnetically. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become customized, compelling. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "visionary". Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Think cutting-edge. Think synergistic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B applications. We will reinvent the ability of solutions to enhance. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to grow. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We understand that it is better to seize proactively than to integrate efficiently. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Think ultra-proactive. The proactive, backward-compatible research and development factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We constantly whiteboard impactful niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things!