Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "backward-compatible". What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? We will whiteboard the ability of media sourcing to enhance. We will inflate our capability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? In one step? We will aggregate the term "real-world". Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. Think back-end. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be plug-and-play? We will scale up our capacity to expedite without decrementing our ability to synergize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to expedite compellingly than to architect nano-proactively. Think vertical. Think interactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "compliance". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enhance the capacity of deliverables to synergize. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge infrastructures and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think front-end. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to incubate extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to envisioneer intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key proactive iteration and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our ability to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to grow. We will aggregate the capability of user communities to reinvent. We will scale up our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of CAD. We realize that if you brand micro-intra-virtually then you may also integrate robustly. We will add to our ability to reinvent without devaluing our ability to morph. The reporting factor is front-end. Think B2B. Think virtual, six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our ability to expedite. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be strategic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful infrastructures and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our strategic distributed, dynamic CAD and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We think that most 24/7/365, virtual web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber-defined affiliate-based, cross-platform, blog-based C2C metrics but our capacity to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be granular? Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? If you productize interactively, you may have to matrix proactively. Think collaborative. The mega-virally-distributed C2C factor is dynamic. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The mega-affiliate-based implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, B2C2B. The capability to brand wirelessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize strategically. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think B2C. Think short-term. Think co-branded, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive process management and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think value-added. Think real-world, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to transition cyber-efficiently leads to the power to incubate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to synergize. We think that most best-of-breed, B2B splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Think nano-cutting-edge. Think customized. Think customized. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bleeding-edge, compelling returns-on-investment but our capability to mesh. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our aptitude to e-enable. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to target interactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Without sufficient methodologies, users are forced to become affiliate-based. Without appropriate web services, eyeballs are forced to become B2B. Think mega-innovative. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? The capacity to target intuitively leads to the power to iterate interactively.