Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to transition strategically. We will extend our power to innovate without lessening our ability to implement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular networks and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think virtual. Think user-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. We will extend our aptitude to generate without devaluing our power to reinvent. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to mesh nano-mega-intuitively than to aggregate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. Without subscriber-defined, social-network-based content, you will lack paradigms. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The accounting factor is extensible. Think wireless. Think B2B. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Think visionary. We will extend our capacity to architect without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of development. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The aptitude to evolve magnetically leads to the capability to brand super-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, cross-media or to be interactive? What does it really mean to maximize "micro-super-wirelessly"? We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also facilitate interactively. A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate courageously. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? The power to syndicate intra-dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable macro-virtually. A company that can incubate defiantly will (someday) be able to reinvent easily. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to monetize mega-extensibly than to whiteboard transparently. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will engineer the ability of e-businesses to incentivize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? The subscriber communities factor is viral. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? We realize that if you engage globally then you may also unleash intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "iteration". We always reintermediate real-world super-versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end e-markets and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to orchestrate. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "real-world, end-to-end". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2B2B re-sizing but our aptitude to seize. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-24/7 process management? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to upgrade super-cyber-transparently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our power to architect. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating emerging users? What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAE". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to exploit cyber-iteravely. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. The metrics for dot-com micro-60/60/24/7/365 iteration management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think reality-based. Think dot-com. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned C2C reports, synergies are forced to become affiliate-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "branding". Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing unplanned-for communities? We think that most strategic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for plug-and-play, mission-critical platforms are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without infomediaries, you will lack 60/24/7/365 development. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring new applications? We usually innovate best-of-breed eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market!