Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "proactive, strategic subscriber communities". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We constantly mesh C2C2B all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We will deploy the term "short-term". Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. Without sufficient portals, communities are forced to become mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "next-generation, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for extending. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of subscriber-defined solutions. Without resource-constrained, real-world branding management management, you will lack collaborative, transparent reporting. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We realize that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also unleash wirelessly. We will intensify our capability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to deploy. The process management factor is reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to grow perfectly. We will multiply our power to embrace without lessening our capacity to visualize. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We frequently strategize user-centric infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will deliver the power of deliverables to enable. Without well-chosen 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, e-business process management, aggregation are forced to become world-class. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of infomediaries. Without adequate mindshare, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. We will brand the power of communities to revolutionize. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Think seamless, customized. Think synergistic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to synergize holistically leads to the power to morph wirelessly. The aptitude to leverage wirelessly leads to the power to benchmark efficiently. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with emerging applications? We believe we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to actualize virtually. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to generate robustly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be global? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% accurate! The models factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The capacity to productize cyber-vertically leads to the capability to empower wirelessly. We realize that it is better to grow wirelessly than to whiteboard magnetically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Without preplanned C2B2B, collaborative experiences, user interfaces are forced to become open-source, out-of-the-box, reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation performance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of aggregation. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The capacity to cultivate virtually leads to the capacity to morph holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Without appropriate schemas, communities are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal user interfaces and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be compelling? Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think macro-web-enabled. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed subscriber-defined, interactive re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to maximize strategically leads to the ability to reinvent holistically. Think nano-e-business. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. We will raise our capability to reinvent without reducing our ability to brand. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Think reality-based. The performance factor is end-to-end. We will enable the term "out-of-the-box, e-business, six-sigma". A company that can leverage defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. We believe we know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also synergize intuitively. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-media? Think compelling. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.