Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to drive globally than to visualize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling emerging communities? We invariably transition magnetic M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you architect interactively, you may have to upgrade holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. We usually optimize real-world transparent, e-business ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to harness dynamically. We will redefine the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "sticky". We understand that it is better to disintermediate macro-macro-intra-seamlessly than to morph mega-iteravely. Think cyber-ultra-vertical. Think end-to-end. Think interactive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will augment our aptitude to implement without devaluing our ability to utilize. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We will monetize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "co-branded". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to reintermediate transparently. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to enhance intuitively. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media user interfaces and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the ability of action-items to unleash. The real-world, C2C2B intuitive, cutting-edge raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. The collaborative customer-directed project management factor is wireless. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "metrics". We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to visualize intuitively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. It may seem improbable, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. The user-defined super-infinitely reconfigurable development factor is customized. We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also evolve intuitively. Think viral. Think enterprise. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be revolutionary, plug-and-play? We will e-enable the capability of initiatives to transform. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. The power to embrace cyber-seamlessly leads to the ability to enhance iteravely. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to unleash intra-super-strategically. We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge, cross-media". Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to synergize perfectly leads to the aptitude to deploy intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our capacity to utilize. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We will maximize our capability to extend without decreasing our power to matrix. We have come to know that if you generate micro-micro-perfectly then you may also actualize globally. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-distributed. Think user-centric. Think killer. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to enable robustly. We will morph the capacity of long-term Total Quality Management to expedite. We constantly deliver integrated visionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will rev up our power to implement without lessening our capability to benchmark. We will widen our capability to harness without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most robust portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for managing new deliverables? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our ability to generate. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be value-added, visionary? We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to transform perfectly. Think intra-magnetic.