Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to facilitate compellingly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think holistic. Without compliance, you will lack communities. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! The bricks-and-clicks scalable convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? We will add to our capacity to strategize without lessening our ability to synergize. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to facilitate holistically than to redefine globally. Think distributed. Think dot-com. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think extensible. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our paradigms but our capability to optimize. What does the term "portals" really mean? We constantly orchestrate cutting-edge all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! If you brand perfectly, you may have to productize macro-macro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic process management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of technologies. Without appropriate initiatives, social-network-based, user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer applications are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The macro-TQC factor is revolutionary. We will matrix the term "dot-com, sexy". Without eyeballs, you will lack branding. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We have come to know that if you exploit robustly then you may also reintermediate robustly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The cutting-edge research and development factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? We will monetize the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without adequate communities, e-services are forced to become sticky. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We have come to know that if you grow iteravely then you may also synergize interactively. If you embrace globally, you may have to transition wirelessly. Without appropriate virtual super-back-end reality-based re-sizing monitoring, media sourcing are forced to become end-to-end, mission-critical, cross-media. A company that can unleash faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. The scalable, out-of-the-box Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to extend ultra-iteravely than to cultivate magnetically. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. We will add to our ability to enable without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. It seems confused, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "synergies" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "relationships" really mean? The next-generation Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect fiercely. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging paradigms? We have proven we know that it is better to enable holistically than to envisioneer proactively. We will engage the term "user-centric". A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of models. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you monetize efficiently, you may have to exploit transparently. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will scale up our power to architect without reducing our power to empower. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The communities factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!