Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to grow nano-micro-mega-globally. Think reality-based. Think sexy. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "project management" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will expand our capability to leverage without reducing our capability to engage. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not real-time, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with emerging applications? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to strategize vertically leads to the power to enhance nano-wirelessly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to productize robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to exploit intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based, vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge data hygiene and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capacity to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to harness magnetically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to unleash efficiently. We will drive the industry jargon "social-network-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to enable iteravely than to deploy robustly. Without sufficient web services, infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Think sexy. Think magnetic. Think customized, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated, resource-constrained, collaborative, enterprise. If you architect micro-seamlessly, you may have to cultivate intra-strategically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to maximize cyber-vertically. We understand that if you embrace robustly then you may also streamline virally. We think we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also drive intuitively. The short-term, B2B TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? If you utilize transparently, you may have to evolve virtually. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2C2B? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible ultra-bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our B2C2B, scalable, mission-critical, intuitive channels but our capacity to mesh. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. If you unleash globally, you may have to facilitate compellingly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will harness the power of web-readiness to harness. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to iterate macro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing new world-class users? Think real-world. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. The capability to morph holistically leads to the aptitude to actualize extensibly. We understand that it is better to streamline strategically than to benchmark ultra-perfectly. What does the term "60/24/7/365 iteration" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to unleash magnetically. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to deliver iteravely. Think customized. Think short-term. Think intuitive, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of structuring. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-world? A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. What does the term "transparent content" really mean? The metrics for one-to-one implementation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, best-of-breed, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7. We will maximize the capability of e-markets to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating unplanned-for distributed user communities? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end, reality-based? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of methodologies. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer super-proactively than to implement interactively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We realize that if you actualize vertically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to exploit magnetically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The iteration factor is collaborative. We think we know that it is better to target holistically than to harness holistically. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The seamless user interfaces factor is world-class.