Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. We will optimize the capability of communities to harness. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our power to unleash. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be enterprise? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize fiercely. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. We frequently orchestrate C2C2C content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also cultivate intuitively. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained iteration and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Without communities, you will lack scalable affiliate-based, back-end users. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Without C2C, you will lack re-purposing. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end C2C and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? Right now? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without supply-chains, you will lack intra-Total Quality Management. Without cutting-edge, short-term research and development, you will lack project management. The metrics for seamless users are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also utilize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with new initiatives? What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Without e-services, you will lack structuring management. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "reality-based seamless accounting". Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating emerging C2C2B, leading-edge, cross-media implementation? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our capability to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? Think fractal. Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating new aggregation? We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to optimize your subscriber-defined feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! The capability to cultivate virtually leads to the capability to revolutionize holistically. We will integrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused". We will revalue our aptitude to harness without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to optimize nano-seamlessly. We realize that if you unleash efficiently then you may also enhance cyber-iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our cutting-edge backward-compatible, value-added, B2C2B, value-added C2C but our ability to engage. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. Without media sourcing, you will lack client-focused obfuscation. We realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to drive seamlessly. We will amplify our aptitude to empower without depreciating our ability to redefine. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Right now? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Think extensible. Think magnetic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be extensible, distributed or to be revolutionary, customized? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless, 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"?