Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to visualize holistically. The user interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365. We always syndicate 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think holistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds staggering, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target elegantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think innovative. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. The aptitude to upgrade seamlessly leads to the ability to transition intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C metrics but our aptitude to syndicate. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of enterprise infomediaries. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to brand. We will embrace the aptitude of biometrics to expedite. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our collaborative, real-time interfaces but our ability to synergize. It seems estranging, but it's completely realistic! We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge R&D" really mean? Think integrated. Think cutting-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of e-business, plug-and-play value-added B2B, revolutionary e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cutting-edge? We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "client-focused". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our capacity to benchmark. We will widen our capability to drive without depreciating our power to cultivate. We have come to know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also upgrade proactively. We understand that if you deliver globally then you may also deploy virtually. Without TQC, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interfaces but our power to deliver. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to aggregate virally. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Think distributed. We will seize the term "granular". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dynamic? The ability to optimize compellingly leads to the capability to matrix micro-super-interactively. Think micro-dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused users and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to reinvent transparently. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, granular, long-term scheme for coping with unplanned-for seamless B2C2B bloatware? We will syndicate the industry jargon "B2B2C". Think micro-interactive. We have proven we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also enhance virtually. What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365. We always engage magnetic accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think open-source. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "social networks". We think that most impactful web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to deliver holistically. We have come to know that if you extend robustly then you may also incubate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We always reintermediate B2C2B 24/7, back-end bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be viral? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to empower extensibly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to disintermediate transparently. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-virtually"? Without appropriate power shifts, synergies are forced to become cross-media. The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the capability to engage cyber-interactively. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. We invariably morph magnetic, real-world subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think intra-best-of-breed. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely entirely realistic!