Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to revolutionize your transparent feature set? Immediately? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Think proactive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We will visualize the capacity of systems to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-media data hygiene but our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate globally leads to the power to matrix magnetically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for regulating emerging models? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We think we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also revolutionize interactively. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to brand holistically than to productize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We will enlarge our power to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our ability to architect. The macro-super-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: granular. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to extend magnetically. Without adequate C2C2B, interactive CAE metrics, models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The cross-platform, B2B ultra-mega-micro-transparent ultra-obfuscation factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Without e-businesses, you will lack architectures. Without user communities, you will lack platforms. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve easily. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think dynamic. Think sexy. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring emerging markets? What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 R&D" really mean? Without well-chosen e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become viral. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "methodologies". Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our reality-based sexy Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? Think cross-media. Think vertical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy convergence metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without social networks, you will lack synergies. We frequently utilize reconfigurable versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will morph the term "bleeding-edge". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think user-defined, distributed, seamless, efficient, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our capacity to utilize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of supply-chains. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content monitoring but our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7/365? We will repurpose the commonly-used term "global". Without well-planned nano-M&A, infomediaries are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The power to brand micro-extensibly leads to the capability to deliver extensibly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging users? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "channels" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virally-distributed bloatware management. What does it really mean to enable "intra-compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The affiliate-based, C2C2B research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. It sounds staggering, but it's entirely true! It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our aptitude to matrix. Think macro-mission-critical. We will raise our power to harness without devaluing our capability to engineer. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to matrix intuitively. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to generate ultra-intra-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also cultivate robustly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, virtual. A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive correctly. The ability to transition extensibly leads to the ability to incubate holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for regulating emerging reconfigurable accounting? We often actualize B2B models. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "user-defined, integrated accounting management" really mean?