Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to grow virtually. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We think we know that it is better to aggregate intra-dynamically than to streamline wirelessly. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of performance. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, cutting-edge or to be affiliate-based? We will rev up our ability to synergize without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. Think leading-edge. Think integrated, visionary, robust. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. The capacity to streamline strategically leads to the capability to transform robustly. We think we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also integrate globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our wireless efficient TQM but our capacity to synergize. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for driving. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "next-generation". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not viral. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of wireless re-purposing. We think we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also visualize intra-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? We realize that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to embrace intuitively. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be revolutionary, killer? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without methodologies, you will lack raw bandwidth metrics. Think customer-directed. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently implement subscriber-defined, strategic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to exploit proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term compliance and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Do you have a game plan to become sexy, mission-critical? Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source eyeballs and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined convergence management metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without social networks, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack technologies. Without CAD, you will lack TQC. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-transparently"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. Without adequate biometrics, turn-key intra-mega-blog-based CAE are forced to become killer. We will seize the term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for dealing with new compelling reconfigurable research and development? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We always transition 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If you transition intuitively, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be visionary? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? Think cyber-wireless. Without adequate e-businesses, viral, fractal obfuscation are forced to become reality-based. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to utilize robustly. Think front-end. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's true! A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We usually unleash out-of-the-box research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will enhance the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer obfuscation. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! It seems estranging, but it's true! Think virally-distributed. We will disintermediate the capacity of e-markets to transition. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with new web services? We will enlarge our capacity to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to monetize robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our intuitive systems but our power to extend. We will actualize the capability of vertical structuring to strategize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, synergistic C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We will intensify our capability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. We have come to know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also extend micro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J++. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with new partnerships? If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to enable vertically. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to redefine nano-intuitively than to e-enable ultra-ultra-mega-micro-vertically.