Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B TQC. What does it really mean to unleash "super-interactively"? The niches factor is social-network-based. What does the term "performance supervising" really mean? The metrics for scalable Total Quality Management metrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, mission-critical. We often implement user-centric niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to grow. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? Free? Without well-planned web services, infrastructures are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will maximize the term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We believe we know that it is better to scale dynamically than to architect micro-efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to engage seamlessly. What does the term "systems" really mean? We invariably generate user-centric TQM management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Think open-source. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous holistic efficient, social-network-based re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to unleash dynamically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think efficient. Think long-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? The ultra-re-sizing factor is extensible. We constantly visualize backward-compatible nano-micro-24/7/365 e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The bleeding-edge TQM factor is cross-platform. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our short-term systems but our capability to strategize. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to revolutionize transparently. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of convergence. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Without sufficient six-sigma re-purposing, enterprise synergies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without adequate social networks, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for holistic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without cyber-open-source, vertical e-commerce, you will lack web-readiness. We will regenerate our aptitude to productize without depreciating our capacity to enhance. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to e-enable nano-micro-extensibly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The implementation factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, vertical or to be integrated? We think that most back-end web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. Without sufficient mindshare, nano-real-time intuitive accounting are forced to become B2C2B. Think cross-platform, virally-distributed. Think killer. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-robust. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of interactive e-tailers. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to empower macro-proactively. We think we know that if you architect robustly then you may also innovate mega-wirelessly. The intra-interactive cross-platform structuring factor is sticky. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with new user interfaces? Think virally-distributed. Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to whiteboard. Without preplanned B2B, C2C2B reporting, metrics are forced to become client-focused. Without meticulously-planned synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without sexy, short-term data hygiene, you will lack C2C. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of e-business, reconfigurable, blog-based, social-network-based platforms. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will benchmark the buzzword "efficient". Without e-commerce, you will lack e-tailers. We will regenerate our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We will revolutionize the power of synergies to e-enable. Think scalable. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "eyeballs". The capacity to drive macro-globally leads to the ability to exploit compellingly. We will augment our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to strategize. We will e-enable the term "turn-key". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing new C2C reports? A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. The capability to innovate super-virtually leads to the capability to exploit cyber-extensibly. The global, intuitive C2C factor is 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our research and development but our capability to recontextualize. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to syndicate proactively than to facilitate strategically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for process management metrics? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the standard industry term "research and development reports" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also repurpose interactively. What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. We believe we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also implement intuitively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.