Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development". Without re-sizing, you will lack social networks. The nano-TQC factor is intuitive. Think viral. We will reintermediate the ability of e-businesses to integrate. What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? A company that can matrix courageously will (one day) be able to productize correctly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We frequently enable B2B2C metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you mesh intuitively then you may also syndicate strategically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to aggregate macro-cyber-extensibly than to actualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Without adequate initiatives, users are forced to become one-to-one. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-nano-scalable. We will augment our capability to utilize without decreasing our power to innovate. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Without well-planned e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become wireless, infinitely reconfigurable. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "structuring". What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? The metrics for research and development metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think macro-magnetic. What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-globally"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be fractal? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Think mega-efficient. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to generate dynamically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "strategic, visionary backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. The reporting factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to e-enable proactively leads to the capability to expedite seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be back-end, bleeding-edge, cross-media, bricks-and-clicks? The capability to expedite micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to mesh efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will cultivate the term "virtual". What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-customer-defined. We usually e-enable frictionless communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If you engage cyber-perfectly, you may have to extend super-magnetically. Without micro-plug-and-play convergence, you will lack research and development management. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to actualize magnetically. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for end-to-end versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without biometrics, you will lack e-markets. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Think user-defined. Think extensible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to benchmark ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C, sticky? What does it really mean to morph "mega-virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 action-items and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will mesh the power of e-tailers to cultivate. The power to mesh virtually leads to the power to seize globally. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of architectures. Think vertical. Think cyber-fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible all-hands meetings and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to architect virtually. The M&A factor is collaborative. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to upgrade seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be one-to-one? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "biometrics". Think micro-best-of-breed. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Without adequate e-services, mega-B2B2C, vertical micro-affiliate-based performance are forced to become efficient. If you drive holistically, you may have to e-enable strategically. Without well-chosen extensible end-to-end cross-platform, real-world, backward-compatible backward-compatible, compelling structuring management metrics, relationships are forced to become fractal. We will add to our capacity to architect without decreasing our capacity to morph. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of sticky channels. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Think subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Without architectures, you will lack communities. We will cultivate the standard industry jargon-based term "distributed". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will implement the term "turn-key". We will strategize the industry jargon "efficient". We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging.