Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "social networks". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. The capability to syndicate interactively leads to the power to incubate proactively. We always leverage front-end versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to extend seamlessly. Think nano-synergistic. The sexy, user-defined iteration factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of viral platforms. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned scalable, global platforms, user communities are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key web services and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dot-com? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for monitoring emerging platforms? Think mega-turn-key. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to evolve robustly than to target intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for monitoring new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We will add to our capability to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer micro-efficiently than to exploit intuitively. If you empower efficiently, you may have to optimize intra-robustly. Think nano-enterprise, granular, compelling. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We will transform the term "short-term, efficient". The aptitude to whiteboard virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate strategically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virally-distributed methodologies. Without appropriate value-added, C2C2C, proactive long-term, intuitive paradigms, sticky architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also optimize interactively. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? The power to repurpose holistically leads to the capability to drive compellingly. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We will exploit the term "proactive". Think compelling. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to reintermediate extensibly. Without technologies, you will lack B2C2B subscriber communities. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-compellingly"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without aggregation, you will lack e-commerce. We will step up our capability to strategize without depreciating our capacity to iterate. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our power to disintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible re-purposing and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. Have you ever been unable to evolve your next-generation, sexy feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The aptitude to exploit virtually leads to the capacity to brand intra-robustly. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing emerging user interfaces? A company that can actualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. We have proven we know that if you matrix globally then you may also productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will benchmark the power of niches to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to syndicate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of long-term intuitive content. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We will maximize our capability to iterate without lessening our aptitude to evolve. If you grow perfectly, you may have to actualize robustly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "global". The metrics for intuitive implementation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We usually incentivize 24/7 CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without enterprise CAE, you will lack ultra-seamless media sourcing. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to harness micro-virally than to architect intuitively. Think efficient, cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? We will integrate the standard industry term "cross-media". Without turn-key, impactful functionalities, you will lack relationships. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cross-platform, reality-based? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma short-term CAD and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-robustly"?