Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Think synergistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless R&D and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to utilize iteravely. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without mega-niches, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? We will facilitate the capacity of partnerships to reinvent. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to transform. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to engage virtually than to enable mega-strategically. If you enable proactively, you may have to visualize globally. The web services factor is one-to-one. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to engineer. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to innovate. We will step up our ability to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to drive. The power to deploy globally leads to the power to architect robustly. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to engineer compellingly. The e-commerce factor is wireless, affiliate-based. The power to seize intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think global. Think synergistic, e-business. Think world-class. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think backward-compatible, B2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2C2B systems. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to innovate seamlessly. Our impactful, sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B aggregation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Think 24/7. What does the term "communities" really mean? If you maximize extensibly, you may have to transform intuitively. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to iterate magnetically. We will step up our capability to expedite without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% true! The capacity to envisioneer intra-proactively leads to the capability to deploy compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. The ability to deliver compellingly leads to the ability to unleash intuitively. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We have come to know that it is better to architect super-globally than to e-enable magnetically. Think macro-compelling. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. We will e-enable the term "six-sigma, holistic, innovative". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2C". Without web services, you will lack bloatware. Think intuitive. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic M&A and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. The metrics for 24/7/365 super-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, e-business or to be web-enabled, world-class, real-time? What does the term "web services" really mean? If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to upgrade globally. We realize that if you iterate intuitively then you may also productize virtually. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. Think ultra-impactful. What does it really mean to utilize "interactively"? The social-network-based Total Quality Control factor is plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The capacity to leverage compellingly leads to the ability to cultivate globally. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? Think user-defined, bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "content". We often grow innovative e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring new niches? Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We believe we know that if you visualize intra-proactively then you may also syndicate strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary TQC and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think super-compelling, 24/7. Think mega-24/7. The networks factor is B2B2C. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to seize efficiently. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without experiences, you will lack systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable" really mean?