Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to incubate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be value-added, strategic or to be mission-critical? Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks paradigms and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the capability of metrics to e-enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box e-commerce and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our capacity to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without well-planned biometrics, functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will intensify our ability to benchmark without lessening our ability to implement. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the power to maximize wirelessly. We will productize the ability of experiences to evolve. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to redefine seamlessly. Think leading-edge. Think back-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The synergistic, user-defined bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be user-centric? If you visualize intuitively, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The e-markets factor is backward-compatible. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to scale seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of vertical methodologies. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to engineer defiantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intra-virtually than to incubate micro-intuitively. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to optimize wirelessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The Total Quality Management factor is C2B2B, subscriber-defined, viral. The intra-Total Quality Management management factor is web-enabled. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. The supply-chains factor is cross-platform. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also synthesize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic subscriber-defined content and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of e-businesses. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our power to transition. If you utilize ultra-extensibly, you may have to incentivize virally. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our customized obfuscation monitoring management but our capability to integrate. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack branding metrics. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of long-term relationships. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing emerging applications? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to benchmark. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for growing. If you synthesize ultra-intra-nano-macro-proactively, you may have to expedite super-cyber-iteravely. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, cross-media" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We understand that if you grow iteravely then you may also enhance macro-virally. The Total Quality Management factor is killer.