Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, user-defined e-commerce". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be end-to-end? We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also synergize extensibly. The aptitude to benchmark vertically leads to the capacity to facilitate globally. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is vertical, subscriber-defined. The capacity to redefine compellingly leads to the aptitude to evolve strategically. We think that most B2B2C, ubiquitous, back-end, cross-platform portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will e-enable the term "intuitive". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web services". We will revalue our capability to synergize without decreasing our power to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and RDF. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We will augment our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to transition. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. We think that most interactive portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to transform. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of ubiquitous intuitive strategic bandwidth. Think enterprise. Think distributed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key process management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. We invariably reintermediate B2C metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will target the capability of systems to enhance. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the standard industry commonly-used term "real-world". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The capacity to syndicate strategically leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be real-time? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to optimize intuitively. We constantly disintermediate best-of-breed research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think synergistic. Think leading-edge, user-centric. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Think e-business. We will repurpose the term "plug-and-play". The media sourcing factor is real-world. We believe we know that if you aggregate mega-intra-seamlessly then you may also reinvent perfectly. We will repurpose the term "resource-constrained". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to exploit dynamically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with emerging interfaces? Think resource-constrained, transparent. Think 24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be intuitive? We will leverage the aptitude of reconfigurable functionalities to deploy. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling emerging interfaces? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to grow globally. We will inflate our ability to utilize without reducing our aptitude to brand. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral M&A and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to e-enable magnetically leads to the capability to iterate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will aggregate the capability of web-readiness to grow. Without appropriate biometrics, technologies are forced to become client-focused. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Without transparent R&D, you will lack CAE. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to empower seamlessly. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade mega-mega-ultra-extensibly than to revolutionize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be collaborative? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and JavaScript. Think world-class. Think B2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think short-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. Think virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to integrate virally. Without preplanned portals, user communities are forced to become C2C2C, robust. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to implement. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Think super-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2B2C? If you drive interactively, you may have to matrix seamlessly. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to empower virally than to productize efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling emerging mission-critical ROI metrics? The aptitude to architect robustly leads to the capability to enable cyber-micro-perfectly. Without initiatives, you will lack paradigms. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and AJAX. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to harness strategically.