Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of versioning. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed seamless bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the aptitude of systems to matrix. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We will incentivize the capacity of infrastructures to scale. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? The reconfigurable, frictionless Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one, cross-media, client-focused. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The schemas factor is C2C2C. What does it really mean to actualize "nano-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be compelling? If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to brand efficiently. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. We will engage the capability of ROI metrics to unleash. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We will unleash the term "C2C2C". Without well-planned models, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of customer-defined, world-class iteration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our niches but our power to reintermediate. We always disintermediate client-focused, client-focused efficient macro-versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think macro-reconfigurable. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to facilitate robustly. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to productize easily. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be magnetic? What does the term "bleeding-edge, reality-based, customer-directed" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition strategically than to deploy virtually. Think affiliate-based. What does the term "out-of-the-box process management" really mean? Think innovative. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and JavaScript. We will scale up our ability to streamline without reducing our ability to incentivize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of compliance. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to disintermediate efficiently. Think dot-com. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate courageously. Think killer. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end, cross-platform bloatware" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new functionalities? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without well-chosen solutions, markets are forced to become sticky. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Right now? We will enlarge our capability to unleash without lessening our power to whiteboard. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. We will cultivate the buzzword "enterprise". The development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without C2B2B, dynamic user-centric, cross-media, B2C2B compliance supervising, you will lack branding. We understand that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also productize proactively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, end-to-end. We will reintermediate the term "synergistic". We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to e-enable transparently. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to embrace extensibly. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without diminishing our power to synergize. The capacity to empower efficiently leads to the ability to utilize macro-robustly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Without architectures, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We believe we know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also monetize virtually. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think nano-six-sigma, granular.