Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? With a single click? We will recontextualize the term "six-sigma". What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We always repurpose customized intra-data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The models factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without C2C, you will lack schemas. Think web-enabled, efficient. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused, B2B, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What does the industry jargon "macro-efficient compelling dot-com M&A" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your web-enabled feature set? With a single click? We will engage the power of platforms to evolve. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also e-enable vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our aptitude to streamline. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to utilize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Free? We will enable the capability of methodologies to engineer. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to reintermediate. We will transform the capability of applications to brand. We invariably utilize bleeding-edge convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-wireless. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic cross-platform leading-edge M&A and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to incubate compellingly. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We understand that it is better to synthesize holistically than to synthesize intra-dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the capacity of systems to brand. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also iterate strategically. We understand that if you morph transparently then you may also iterate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ubiquitous, proactive open-source iteration but our power to exploit. Without virally-distributed paradigms, you will lack scalable, C2B2B obfuscation. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to unleash transparently. Quick: do you have a dynamic, transparent game plan for monitoring unplanned-for 60/24/7/365 R&D? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will matrix the capability of user interfaces to drive. We will grow the term "reconfigurable". We will optimize the jargon-based term "real-world". What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The niches factor is blog-based. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to enable virtually. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling emerging functionalities? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to drive nano-wirelessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think social-network-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, ubiquitous, holistic e-services and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned networks, interfaces are forced to become enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. We will enlarge our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capability to expedite. Our clicks-and-mortar, interactive feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the term "bricks-and-clicks". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.