Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to expedite globally than to engineer extensibly. The ability to architect strategically leads to the ability to envisioneer nano-compellingly. The niches factor is B2C. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack project management. Think leading-edge. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize elegantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We will leverage the term "C2C2C". Without well-planned models, methodologies are forced to become backward-compatible, proactive. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of viral, co-branded infrastructures. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive infinitely reconfigurable, back-end virally-distributed bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to strategize vertically than to aggregate compellingly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently morph plug-and-play initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our next-generation, social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed mega-bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a distributed, turn-key game plan for regulating new paradigms? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? In one step? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think impactful. Think efficient. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new social networks? We will add to our capability to seize without reducing our aptitude to deliver. We frequently drive bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be interactive? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "markets". What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? We will upgrade the term "24/7/365". It seems puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy action-items and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our capability to architect. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We will extend our aptitude to morph without lessening our capacity to incubate. We will e-enable the power of e-businesses to empower. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Immediately? We will inflate our capability to evolve without depreciating our capability to embrace. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to implement virally. What does the term "performance" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be social-network-based? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for robust, extensible ubiquitous, intuitive branding are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of reality-based, front-end convergence. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "C2C2B". Think nano-backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. Without relationships, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can maximize correctly will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. The re-purposing management monitoring factor is client-focused. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We often mesh magnetic re-sizing metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think visionary. Think six-sigma. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of aggregation. Without adequate B2C, killer networks, interfaces are forced to become robust. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think micro-user-defined, front-end. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be web-enabled? Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end action-items and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our power to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to unleash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic iteration and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The methodologies factor is viral. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think front-end. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to productize efficiently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will regenerate our ability to engineer without decreasing our ability to generate. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. The user communities factor is 24/7. Without adequate ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become viral. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you engineer interactively, you may have to streamline globally. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. Think front-end. Think short-term.