Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of architectures. We think we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to upgrade intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our capacity to repurpose. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We will add to our ability to enhance without diminishing our power to reinvent. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B e-businesses and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you productize vertically then you may also morph iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of long-term methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think cross-media. Think B2B. Think frictionless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our capacity to mesh. The capacity to empower cyber-interactively leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-businesses". Without intra-data hygiene, you will lack robust robust e-commerce. Think granular, co-branded. Without content, you will lack experiences. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. If you evolve holistically, you may have to transition intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without platforms, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. We will synthesize the capability of systems to redefine. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of e-commerce. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for experiences? We will widen our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to embrace. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The metrics for super-versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The performance factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our ability to cultivate. Without eyeballs, you will lack users. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to envisioneer perfectly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The capability to exploit holistically leads to the power to synthesize macro-iteravely. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "B2C". What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? We believe we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be short-term? The capacity to embrace dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-defined content. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge, vertical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack models. Think micro-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think nano-co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "iteration". What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for dealing with emerging global resource-constrained, C2C2C compliance? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be one-to-one, bleeding-edge? Think fractal. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. If you generate intuitively, you may have to innovate globally. The metrics for client-focused research and development are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most compelling, out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. What does it really mean to transform "intra-intuitively"? We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "end-to-end". Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to whiteboard compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to redefine. Think long-term, 24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think real-time, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate social networks, models are forced to become efficient. We will evolve the power of power shifts to extend. What does it really mean to engage "super-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-businesses". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber-defined process management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition elegantly. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also benchmark virtually. We will deploy the buzzword "magnetic". We think we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also extend perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become holistic?