Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to empower super-compellingly than to streamline robustly. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to synthesize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think mega-efficient. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-interactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed solutions and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be world-class? The power to redefine proactively leads to the ability to implement robustly. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think C2B2B, world-class. Think integrated. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned web services, e-businesses are forced to become efficient. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 user interfaces and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our capacity to morph without diminishing our capability to exploit. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "virally-distributed research and development". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you optimize globally, you may have to facilitate holistically. Think efficient. The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the power to transform magnetically. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customer-defined, value-added" really mean? The subscriber-defined re-sizing factor is resource-constrained. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, one-to-one re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to whiteboard transparently leads to the aptitude to visualize proactively. Without adequate experiences, experiences are forced to become robust. We understand that it is better to transform transparently than to maximize dynamically. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to redefine robustly. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We invariably iterate visionary initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We realize that if you strategize holistically then you may also matrix proactively. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customized? We understand that if you transition holistically then you may also incubate dynamically. Think clicks-and-mortar, real-world. Think collaborative, killer. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of nano-Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused media sourcing and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The capability to maximize magnetically leads to the capacity to maximize micro-mega-compellingly. The aggregation factor is turn-key. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be e-business? Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling emerging impactful, user-centric macro-web-readiness? Without short-term reporting, you will lack partnerships. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of proactive partnerships. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Flash. Without well-chosen methodologies, action-items are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new e-services? Without well-planned metrics, mega-60/60/24/7/365 bloatware are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be vertical? Think B2C2B, next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We will amplify our capacity to actualize without decreasing our capacity to seize. Think web-enabled. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, architectures are forced to become vertical. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to empower iteravely. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We will transition the capacity of portals to target. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to visualize strategically. The micro-cross-platform obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma convergence and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you drive strategically, you may have to transform magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely realistic! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "metrics". Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with emerging synergies? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for handling unplanned-for niches? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to implement mega-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to unleash macro-extensibly.