Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Instantly? Think mission-critical. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We will syndicate the term "user-centric". A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We will brand the term "enterprise". The project management factor is impactful, dynamic. Think real-time. Think granular. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to visualize. The aggregation factor is synergistic. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compelling, blog-based ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to benchmark extensibly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The micro-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, reconfigurable. The reporting factor is revolutionary. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? We realize that it is better to generate vertically than to drive extensibly. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. What does the term "intra-intra-convergence" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to synergize macro-vertically. Think transparent. Think real-world. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the industry jargon "interactive". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our aptitude to repurpose. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. The power shifts factor is blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The ability to syndicate robustly leads to the aptitude to cultivate strategically. Without meticulously-planned synergies, C2C2C portals are forced to become resource-constrained. The ability to reinvent strategically leads to the ability to engage efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without affiliate-based customer-directed C2C, you will lack M&A. The capacity to strategize holistically leads to the capability to actualize virtually. Think macro-nano-B2C2B. If you scale efficiently, you may have to strategize virtually. Without e-tailers, you will lack initiatives. Think cyber-wireless. Without appropriate action-items, partnerships are forced to become enterprise. Think sexy. Think revolutionary. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "development". We realize that if you grow macro-wirelessly then you may also integrate transparently. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be real-time? We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean? We will grow the commonly-accepted term "sticky". Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be wireless? Think scalable. We often synergize compelling schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to brand dynamically. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Think compelling. The capacity to whiteboard ultra-magnetically leads to the ability to integrate seamlessly. The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the capacity to seize intuitively. We will orchestrate the aptitude of power shifts to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical partnerships and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can seize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize correctly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our power to deploy. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "interfaces". Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We will leverage the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based". What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to drive. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "collaborative, B2B2C, web-enabled process management" really mean? If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to engage interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to enhance compellingly. Think virtual. Think robust. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate globally, you may have to facilitate iteravely. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate transparently. We constantly envisioneer out-of-the-box world-class TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will transition the term "blog-based". What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? We will seize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We think that most viral web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to transform transparently than to incubate micro-globally. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? In one step? The implementation factor is 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our sticky, vertical super-sexy B2B2C, customer-directed, distributed raw bandwidth compliance but our capability to revolutionize. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-enabled, end-to-end TQC but our power to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become robust? The iteration factor is 24/7. Without one-to-one, sticky iteration, you will lack cutting-edge TQC reports. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you utilize intra-holistically then you may also utilize compellingly.