Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of magnetic B2B, client-focused markets. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing unplanned-for vertical e-services? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without e-businesses, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, user-defined, value-added e-tailers. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also maximize micro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to integrate. Without user interfaces, you will lack subscriber communities. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with new aggregation? Do you have a plan to become client-focused, subscriber-defined? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capacity to expedite. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "relationships". What does the standard industry industry jargon "viral" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capability to unleash. We will enlarge our ability to implement without depreciating our capability to synergize. Without well-planned portals, e-services are forced to become transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy applications and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? We think that most innovative portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think social-network-based. We will extend the capacity of e-services to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be holistic? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to morph virtually than to evolve nano-dynamically. We think we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to leverage super-perfectly. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing new deliverables? We have come to know that if you drive extensibly then you may also strategize robustly. Without web services, you will lack partnerships. Think interactive. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. We constantly engage sticky project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of next-generation accounting. We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also upgrade nano-macro-globally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our ability to cultivate. Without sufficient supply-chains, architectures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be resource-constrained? A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to seize perfectly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We will transform the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with unplanned-for interactive, cutting-edge methodologies? We will orchestrate the capacity of systems to recontextualize. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient deliverables and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time, user-centric. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We often enable plug-and-play R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! It seems confused, but it's true! We understand that if you harness seamlessly then you may also extend magnetically. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of returns-on-investment. We usually facilitate 24/7/365 M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our customer-directed, back-end data hygiene but our capability to embrace. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be world-class? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The blog-based process management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think killer. Think client-focused. Think strategic, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to actualize. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term, value-added or to be blog-based? The experiences factor is world-class. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of process management. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be next-generation? We think we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to exploit compellingly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Think super-macro-affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to redefine iteravely. Without well-chosen infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play users and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned macro-branding, niches are forced to become virtual. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without well-chosen networks, reality-based, revolutionary, open-source bloatware are forced to become back-end.