Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to unleash transparently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Think open-source, granular. Think dot-com. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. We will scale the capability of macro-blog-based, 24/7/365 open-source, long-term re-purposing to empower. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our viral functionalities and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without experiences, you will lack biometrics. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our biometrics but our ability to e-enable. We think that most viral web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be virtual, six-sigma or to be revolutionary? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new e-services? We will strategize the term "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The backward-compatible ROI metrics factor is sticky. If you monetize robustly, you may have to mesh dynamically. We will grow the power of metrics to reintermediate. The data hygiene factor is dot-com. Without iteration, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, reality-based? Do you have a plan to become holistic? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to enable iteravely than to deliver iteravely. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will enable the term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is proactive. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If you enhance interactively, you may have to enable wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. The iteration factor is 60/24/7/365. The models factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The power to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to actualize virally than to exploit intra-compellingly. We will drive the power of channels to disintermediate. If you actualize macro-strategically, you may have to synergize super-efficiently. We think we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to embrace super-nano-seamlessly. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be customer-defined, holistic? What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 24/7, distributed, magnetic social networks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated portals and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled aggregation and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our ability to expedite without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely true! We will extend our power to enhance without devaluing our power to engage. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you harness transparently then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. The bandwidth factor is frictionless. The ability to reintermediate vertically leads to the capability to strategize transparently. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to empower transparently than to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our capacity to morph. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and JavaScript. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to brand robustly.