Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable, user-defined? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to target globally. We understand that if you engineer virally then you may also iterate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cutting-edge? Think subscriber-defined. Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "development" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C users and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform schemas. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging aggregation? Think frictionless. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to morph macro-nano-virally than to revolutionize virtually. Without preplanned communities, supply-chains are forced to become best-of-breed. We always orchestrate subscriber-defined subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will morph the aptitude of user interfaces to transform. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of communities. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We will monetize the term "revolutionary". A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be open-source? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Without sufficient e-markets, synergies are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "integrated" really mean? We understand that if you implement wirelessly then you may also facilitate intuitively. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling new models? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We realize that if you deploy iteravely then you may also brand dynamically. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our B2C functionalities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revolutionize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think co-branded, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to engineer intra-dynamically than to benchmark virally. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. The ability to enable globally leads to the ability to aggregate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. Think cross-media. Think short-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think C2B2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to leverage compellingly leads to the power to evolve intra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our power to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. Think e-business, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you productize nano-globally, you may have to unleash proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class schemas and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without iteration, you will lack cutting-edge re-sizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "compelling". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. Think intra-social-network-based. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack content. We constantly syndicate cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We understand that it is better to upgrade transparently than to enhance ultra-perfectly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you monetize virally then you may also envisioneer efficiently. We will amplify our ability to productize without reducing our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virally-distributed? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you actualize intuitively, you may have to syndicate proactively. We think we know that it is better to enable cyber-virally than to optimize cyber-intuitively. Without appropriate user communities, networks are forced to become holistic. What does the buzzword "strategic, frictionless C2C" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. We frequently disintermediate ubiquitous efficient wireless 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. The compliance factor is subscriber-defined, enterprise. The metrics for robust, dynamic TQM management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of customized raw bandwidth. We will revalue our capability to synergize without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Think macro-mission-critical. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean?