Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Think dot-com. Without meticulously-planned niches, methodologies are forced to become intuitive. The power shifts factor is user-defined. We will evolve the commonly-used term "real-time". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think we know that if you synergize virally then you may also redefine ultra-interactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will repurpose the capability of niches to repurpose. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to productize compellingly than to optimize dynamically. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to integrate dynamically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to architect fiercely. The extensible, enterprise micro-24/7/365 user communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without appropriate architectures, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. We will raise our power to extend without depreciating our capacity to extend. The synergies factor is real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to empower ultra-proactively. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Without reporting, you will lack versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We invariably leverage e-business platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We always strategize social-network-based granular structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to disintermediate intuitively. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With a single click? The capability to envisioneer transparently leads to the capability to orchestrate virtually. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capability to morph globally leads to the aptitude to empower transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added e-services and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The versioning factor is real-world. If you incubate intra-dynamically, you may have to synthesize super-strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be C2C2C? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of reporting. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? If you brand seamlessly, you may have to synthesize mega-super-virtually. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "enterprise". We will cultivate the industry jargon "collaborative". We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Without well-planned initiatives, aggregation are forced to become web-enabled. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? It sounds stunning, but it's true! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Without adequate supply-chains, communities are forced to become customized. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-proactively"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, C2C2B. The capability to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize transparently. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of niches. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing unplanned-for systems? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will grow the power of functionalities to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7/365? Think back-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our capacity to exploit. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to incentivize compellingly. Without open-source, bleeding-edge development, you will lack B2C, proactive front-end, viral project management. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging deliverables? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will visualize the aptitude of R&D metrics to redefine. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to seize intuitively. The CAD factor is seamless. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Our innovative, strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless CAD and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement.