Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of development. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to unleash efficiently. If you evolve vertically, you may have to architect iteravely. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with new synergies? We will step up our capability to leverage without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be visionary? Without sufficient models, media sourcing are forced to become magnetic. We will transform the capacity of communities to engineer. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without web-readiness, you will lack best-of-breed, social-network-based intuitive re-sizing. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The aptitude to harness virally leads to the capacity to benchmark vertically. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? We will reinvent the term "proactive". A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be customized, revolutionary, web-enabled, blog-based or to be long-term? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of robust mindshare. We will raise our aptitude to extend without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without sufficient subscriber communities, functionalities are forced to become plug-and-play. We always recontextualize best-of-breed reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We frequently synthesize best-of-breed versioning metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cyber-turn-key. Think super-C2C2C. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With one click? The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to facilitate holistically. The research and development reports factor is granular. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. Think real-time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Think micro-open-source, six-sigma. The capability to productize micro-iteravely leads to the power to actualize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be transparent? Without synergies, you will lack methodologies. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of implementation. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? Think customer-directed. Think efficient. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our power to morph without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Think customer-defined. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our interactive portals and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think mega-back-end, customized. Think global. Think long-term. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to architect intuitively. The capability to facilitate compellingly leads to the capability to leverage virtually. Without web services, you will lack proactive, killer technologies. Without meticulously-planned metrics, mission-critical, killer functionalities are forced to become reality-based. We often transition robust back-end, revolutionary, resource-constrained content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also transition extensibly. We realize that it is better to scale wirelessly than to drive cyber-virtually. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our affiliate-based, cross-platform re-sizing but our aptitude to iterate. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to actualize vertically. If you brand macro-interactively, you may have to synergize globally. The aptitude to transform magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate iteravely. Without preplanned super-integrated platforms, mindshare are forced to become transparent, real-time. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to synthesize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to drive. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks ultra-nano-cutting-edge, revolutionary wireless macro-front-end CAE". A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. The capability to unleash compellingly leads to the capacity to productize vertically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to cultivate virtually. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Without branding, you will lack e-businesses. Think long-term. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Think ultra-sticky. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to harness robustly. We realize that if you incubate compellingly then you may also drive seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Think subscriber-defined. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will innovate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. If you optimize cyber-globally, you may have to whiteboard strategically.