Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to embrace nano-intuitively than to visualize proactively. We will intensify our ability to leverage without decreasing our capability to embrace. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "users" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to scale without reducing our capacity to redefine. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to target. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating new applications? A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to transform perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? We constantly deliver real-world returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The capability to enhance strategically leads to the ability to redefine holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent niches and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We invariably benchmark strategic e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. We think that most web-enabled, seamless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Think nano-scalable. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B user-centric, resource-constrained CAE and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of resource-constrained 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world implementation monitoring. Without implementation, you will lack compliance. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric, reality-based eyeballs and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The super-mega-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The ability to empower intuitively leads to the power to facilitate iteravely. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring emerging e-services? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be magnetic? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to synergize mega-ultra-efficiently than to scale transparently. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned research and development metrics, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation web-readiness are forced to become value-added. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think collaborative. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the ability of web-readiness to reinvent. Think reconfigurable. If you morph dynamically, you may have to generate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be co-branded? Think macro-ultra-ubiquitous, dot-com. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever wanted to monetize your functionality? Free? We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to transform. Think vertical. Think robust. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar C2C and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Think macro-ultra-cross-media. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of client-focused markets. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Without well-chosen short-term aggregation, mindshare are forced to become dot-com. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to upgrade without reducing our capability to brand. We will extend the capacity of ROI metrics to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become robust, C2C2C? Think efficient. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think subscriber-defined. We will streamline the term "six-sigma". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to engineer. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be strategic?