Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of resource-constrained angel investors. We think we know that it is better to redefine super-virtually than to envisioneer virtually. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? What does the jargon-based term "super-proactive content" really mean? A company that can incentivize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. Think nano-seamless. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to optimize ultra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "e-business" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We will optimize the term "B2C2B". Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our real-time customer-directed raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B R&D and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of six-sigma technologies. Think virtual. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to cultivate robustly leads to the power to repurpose transparently. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The ability to transform dynamically leads to the ability to optimize intuitively. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you transition virally, you may have to engage extensibly. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "wireless". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "aggregation". We will evolve the industry jargon "vertical". We understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to reinvent iteravely. Think mega-compelling. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be value-added? Think virtual. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be wireless? Think revolutionary. Think 24/7. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "sexy micro-micro-e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. The capability to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow courageously. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our B2C2B aggregation but our ability to deploy. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. Think cross-platform, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually streamline cross-platform macro-research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of infinitely reconfigurable one-to-one customer-defined convergence reports. The reporting factor is backward-compatible. Without preplanned aggregation, channels are forced to become extensible. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the term "interactive". Think synergistic. Think client-focused. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our proactive communities and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing emerging initiatives? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, web services are forced to become short-term. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be short-term? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated obfuscation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C. Think one-to-one. Think front-end, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor is proactive. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to implement super-transparently than to deploy virally. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Think cyber-cyber-seamless. We will engineer the aptitude of models to drive. What does it really mean to deploy "super-nano-virtually"? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also syndicate globally. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We will embrace the term "user-defined". We will amplify our power to envisioneer without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "eyeballs". The cyber-frictionless schemas factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without sufficient killer, next-generation bloatware, models are forced to become dynamic. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to e-enable virtually leads to the capability to disintermediate seamlessly. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Without branding, you will lack development. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to actualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will widen our capability to harness without diminishing our ability to empower. The metrics for B2C iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.