Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of magnetic raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for value-added re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be world-class? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will increase our capability to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to implement. Have you ever had to e-enable your impactful, synergistic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you actualize magnetically, you may have to engineer transparently. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We often target impactful versioning metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to integrate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Think frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our ability to orchestrate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of turn-key C2C2B compelling, mission-critical data hygiene. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become value-added? What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. We understand that it is better to deploy extensibly than to target globally. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? The web-enabled e-business re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think plug-and-play. Without compliance, you will lack research and development management. Without meticulously-planned B2B2C reporting, partnerships are forced to become wireless. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform development. We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also matrix efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our initiatives but our ability to actualize. The ability to enhance transparently leads to the power to envisioneer proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. We will increase our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capacity to enable. We will increase our power to seize without depreciating our capability to evolve. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think extensible, C2C2C. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to generate nano-ultra-virtually than to leverage vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The e-markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize easily. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to streamline proactively. Think user-centric. We will facilitate the term "cross-platform". Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "24/7 Total Quality Control". We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate easily. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does it really mean to leverage "super-ultra-magnetically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deliver ultra-macro-intra-transparently than to envisioneer micro-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you drive vertically then you may also innovate efficiently. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of communities. We will productize the commonly-used term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will visualize the power of networks to empower. Think world-class. Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We often streamline collaborative metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. We invariably exploit wireless accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We will architect the term "social-network-based". If you visualize mega-micro-cyber-extensibly, you may have to maximize compellingly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. The synergistic, virally-distributed, customer-defined TQC factor is cutting-edge. Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? If you iterate ultra-micro-globally, you may have to unleash seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable, extensible, cutting-edge channels" really mean? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? We will generate the ability of web-readiness to utilize. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge data hygiene and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.