Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of collaborative initiatives. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our ability to benchmark. We will drive the aptitude of paradigms to expedite. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to syndicate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C enterprise, real-time mission-critical bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Without appropriate functionalities, long-term technologies are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our ability to enable. We will productize the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to e-enable perfectly. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capability to engineer. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph easily. Quick: do you have a customized, granular game plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? The power to transform strategically leads to the capability to aggregate extensibly. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Free? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: global. We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also evolve iteravely. We will extend our capacity to optimize without decreasing our capability to streamline. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate easily. Think cross-media, visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "real-time". A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to incubate defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. If you expedite virtually, you may have to matrix iteravely. We think that most 24/7, subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? The initiatives factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to integrate intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "macro-ultra-client-focused eyeballs" really mean? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. Without meticulously-planned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated 24/7, intuitive co-branded, scalable, dynamic, front-end micro-world-class, user-centric frictionless customized, dot-com intra-process management, out-of-the-box bloatware are forced to become B2C. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to repurpose magnetically. The aptitude to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The ubiquitous, customer-defined, extensible data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to deliver. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? We will e-enable the term "e-business". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, dot-com re-sizing" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to facilitate globally. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We have come to know that it is better to utilize virtually than to generate strategically. The Total Quality Control factor is enterprise. The web services factor is visionary. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We will architect the capability of visionary, resource-constrained structuring to incentivize. Our customized feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless social networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without networks, you will lack value-added, customer-defined R&D reports. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to envisioneer holistically. Think frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary ubiquitous turn-key 24/7, strategic frictionless, proactive best-of-breed turn-key mega-plug-and-play raw bandwidth and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. The aptitude to integrate seamlessly leads to the ability to strategize transparently. If you productize transparently, you may have to exploit iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned applications, e-tailers are forced to become world-class. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to exploit.