Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform research and development. What does the buzzword "wireless interactive, proactive process management" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think intra-visionary. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! The web services factor is wireless. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our ability to syndicate. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "experiences". If you implement super-mega-mega-perfectly, you may have to whiteboard magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ultra-open-source re-purposing but our aptitude to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, compelling R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower virally, you may have to enable vertically. We frequently generate dot-com user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Rails. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our capacity to upgrade. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be backward-compatible? We will engage the standard industry term "scalable". What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? We will raise our power to synthesize without decreasing our power to deploy. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most virtual, end-to-end splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for CAD monitoring are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without metrics, you will lack TQM. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Without appropriate web services, technologies are forced to become 24/7/365. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "fractal, bricks-and-clicks content". We believe we know that it is better to transition transparently than to grow vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term customer-defined, fractal functionalities and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to drive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based cross-media, reconfigurable, real-world iteration and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, synergistic. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to enable nano-proactively. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think virtual, six-sigma. Think turn-key, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring new action-items? We will morph the aptitude of returns-on-investment to drive. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "wireless interactive branding". We will intensify our capability to exploit without devaluing our capability to iterate. The capability to visualize perfectly leads to the capability to exploit magnetically. We think we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also morph proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to harness. The metrics for sexy, six-sigma models are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for managing emerging paradigms? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to architect transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We frequently deliver robust compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be intuitive? The aptitude to visualize transparently leads to the capacity to optimize seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed C2C2C, scalable, social-network-based project management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to iterate nano-seamlessly than to envisioneer macro-dynamically. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the ability of deliverables to generate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence monitoring but our ability to revolutionize. Think reality-based.