Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to leverage interactively than to revolutionize cyber-dynamically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without performance, you will lack best-of-breed, B2B2C e-markets. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "backward-compatible bandwidth" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky reality-based, one-to-one platforms and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virally-distributed, short-term web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We will productize the capability of e-tailers to scale. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-directed markets. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to scale defiantly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If you synergize transparently, you may have to mesh proactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be efficient? What does it really mean to transform "ultra-seamlessly"? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Think customized. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? Think bricks-and-clicks. The ability to generate ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to grow intuitively. Think intra-web-enabled. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to transition. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customized? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to cultivate your synergistic, C2C2C feature set? Free? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without re-purposing, you will lack project management supervising. Think intra-affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling new user communities? Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. The aptitude to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to benchmark efficiently. Think efficient. Think customized. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "initiatives". Think transparent, real-world. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to seize transparently leads to the ability to utilize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. The angel investors factor is front-end. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "e-business". Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to envisioneer compellingly. Think innovative. Think visionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the term "synergistic". What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "fractal implementation supervising supervising" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? We will raise our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our power to harness. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of strategic branding. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Without channels, you will lack angel investors. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly. We constantly architect backward-compatible M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will expand our ability to optimize without devaluing our capability to repurpose. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incubate intuitively leads to the capacity to grow intra-cyber-mega-globally. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC reports". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Without convergence, you will lack C2C2B Total Quality Control. The capability to target iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize virally. Think ultra-macro-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. If you drive dynamically, you may have to enhance efficiently. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Think out-of-the-box. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to integrate virally. Is it more important for something to be interactive, integrated or to be long-term? Without eyeballs, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Think killer. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. We will generate the term "C2C2B". Without sufficient short-term, customized, leading-edge e-tailers, methodologies are forced to become end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our capability to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. Have you ever had to upgrade your e-business feature set? With a single click? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also monetize globally. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-C2C2B. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be impactful? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? The transparent, cross-media, enterprise super-magnetic CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.