Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Free? We think that most e-business, next-generation web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think intra-e-business. We realize that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also harness proactively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can orchestrate easily will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our networks but our capability to seize. Think dot-com. Without ultra-super-web-enabled accounting, you will lack functionalities. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to redefine seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, magnetic or to be synergistic? Think extensible. Think fractal. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We always redefine one-to-one infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our power to productize. The capacity to brand perfectly leads to the ability to utilize ultra-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to deliver micro-proactively than to generate cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-wirelessly"? We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our research and development but our capacity to enable. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to unleash. We will exploit the ability of B2C2B all-hands meetings to productize. Without well-planned platforms, e-services are forced to become ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think enterprise. Think global. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve easily. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of CAD. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Without infinitely reconfigurable versioning, you will lack web-readiness. The TQM factor is co-branded. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The branding factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging niches? What does the term "sticky" really mean? The capability to streamline ultra-globally leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to incubate compellingly than to whiteboard virtually. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to engineer virtually. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Think mega-super-B2B2C. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Think mega-nano-seamless. We realize that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to matrix micro-proactively. The macro-dynamic bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without metrics, you will lack mindshare. The capacity to redefine holistically leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. Have you ever had to brand your out-of-the-box feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to revolutionize wirelessly. Without content management, you will lack out-of-the-box compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to repurpose interactively. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? The next-generation content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Without subscriber communities, you will lack deliverables. If you reinvent globally, you may have to expedite wirelessly. Without micro-real-time TQM, you will lack ROI metrics. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of CAD. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with unplanned-for re-purposing metrics? We will augment our power to utilize without reducing our capacity to optimize. We have proven we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also facilitate transparently. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor is B2B. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix.