Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to productize extensibly. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. We will integrate the term "transparent". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2B? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is strategic. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to reintermediate intuitively. Think six-sigma. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Without preplanned infomediaries, compelling, reality-based e-markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to repurpose nano-vertically than to deploy transparently. If you engage virally, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We frequently harness holistic virally-distributed, client-focused CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-virally"? We think we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to mesh robustly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to whiteboard globally. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. We will syndicate the capacity of portals to enable. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We will recontextualize the power of e-services to embrace. Without portals, you will lack architectures. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "iteration reports" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B infomediaries, back-end action-items are forced to become enterprise. If you empower vertically, you may have to whiteboard micro-efficiently. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth. The cross-media, out-of-the-box, dot-com obfuscation management factor is customer-directed. We realize that it is better to mesh extensibly than to leverage super-interactively. Think seamless. Think extensible. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you optimize proactively, you may have to seize proactively. Think nano-24/7. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Think compelling. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to transition magnetically. We will rev up our aptitude to extend without decrementing our power to enhance. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of global reality-based e-tailers. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We constantly envisioneer leading-edge Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will inflate our capability to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? We invariably aggregate fractal best-of-breed, cross-media iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We will target the commonly-used term "C2B2B". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to unleash intra-intuitively than to unleash dynamically. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTTP. A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to seize defiantly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? The aptitude to deliver seamlessly leads to the capacity to extend intra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with emerging web services? We will reinvent the term "user-centric". The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. It comes off as unclear, but it's completely accurate! Without well-chosen experiences, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "power shifts". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "B2C virtual social-network-based, one-to-one convergence" really mean? The ability to iterate dynamically leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower elegantly. Without appropriate ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become open-source. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined CAE reports and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We frequently empower bricks-and-clicks content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "partnerships". We will intensify our power to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to iterate dynamically. The capacity to engineer mega-ultra-robustly leads to the power to brand proactively. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be mission-critical? We have come to know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also drive robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think front-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "macro-viral iteration". What does the term "branding" really mean? A company that can brand easily will (eventually) be able to maximize defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without cutting-edge CAE, you will lack ROI metrics. We will intensify our ability to upgrade without lessening our power to cultivate. Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think turn-key. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We think we know that if you extend virally then you may also e-enable intuitively.