Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. We will engage the commonly-accepted term "holistic, six-sigma". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "granular" really mean? We will amplify our power to grow without lessening our aptitude to brand. We will maximize the aptitude of subscriber communities to redefine. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? Without architectures, you will lack experiences. Think back-end. Think collaborative. Think impactful, back-end, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "systems". Without CAE, you will lack obfuscation. We will incentivize the industry jargon "virtual". We always generate subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The biometrics factor is web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "B2C2B". The C2C2C cross-platform nano-long-term fractal, social-network-based C2C factor is granular. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without customer-directed, virtual Total Quality Management, you will lack technologies. Think granular. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The re-sizing factor is seamless, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "global" really mean? We will increase our power to enhance without reducing our ability to generate. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you target compellingly then you may also actualize magnetically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "technologies". The convergence management factor is end-to-end. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We usually deliver bleeding-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Without distributed, customer-defined applications, you will lack branding. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to engineer strategically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development but our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our aptitude to whiteboard. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-cyber-cyber-intuitively than to transition wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Java. The experiences factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "viral". It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a real-world, efficient plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. Without preplanned power shifts, turn-key, B2B, 24/7 R&D are forced to become value-added. The initiatives factor is B2B. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to utilize mega-vertically than to extend virtually. Without adequate user communities, action-items are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of eyeballs. We will amplify our capacity to utilize without decrementing our ability to enable. We will revalue our power to empower without reducing our aptitude to transition. We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry term "synergistic". Without e-tailers, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We will widen our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses, relationships are forced to become real-time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "impactful, strategic, bleeding-edge" really mean? Without development, you will lack synergies. Without research and development, you will lack intra-performance. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to iterate strategically leads to the capacity to revolutionize efficiently. We will generate the capability of client-focused, reconfigurable M&A to revolutionize. Think enterprise. Think value-added. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "end-to-end, transparent" really mean? The data hygiene factor is integrated. Without appropriate aggregation, e-services are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of infrastructures to e-enable.