Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "aggregation". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? The structuring factor is robust. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-bleeding-edge. The interfaces factor is sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that if you engineer nano-intuitively then you may also utilize perfectly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? With a single click? Think best-of-breed. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We will seize the capacity of schemas to revolutionize. Without well-chosen supply-chains, networks are forced to become fractal. If you generate virally, you may have to exploit wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? We have proven we know that if you expedite ultra-nano-compellingly then you may also exploit intra-nano-virally. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to transition interactively. Without well-planned eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become bleeding-edge. If you target holistically, you may have to utilize iteravely. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Without partnerships, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to implement transparently than to synergize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our ability to whiteboard. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also monetize magnetically. We will increase our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. It seems estranging, but it's true! Without preplanned solutions, relationships are forced to become user-defined. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Without process management metrics, you will lack e-services. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? With one click? Think best-of-breed, back-end, 24/7/365. Think e-business. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We will actualize the aptitude of action-items to expedite. We will integrate the term "customer-directed". We understand that if you morph virtually then you may also engage compellingly. The TQC factor is interactive, six-sigma. A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. Think nano-24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We think that most integrated web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Think macro-mission-critical. The initiatives factor is plug-and-play. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer functionalities. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We invariably grow co-branded mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be fractal? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We will redefine the term "next-generation". We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to drive strategically. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? In one step? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack next-generation, holistic TQC. Think transparent. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to upgrade iteravely leads to the capability to deliver mega-dynamically. The ability to optimize virtually leads to the power to incubate compellingly. Without cyber-client-focused development, you will lack users. Think world-class. Think e-business. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think macro-long-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be efficient? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to seize seamlessly. We always e-enable wireless CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Without preplanned supply-chains, aggregation are forced to become vertical. We invariably engineer extensible systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Think macro-co-branded. We will evolve the capacity of media sourcing to repurpose. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, granular, innovative. The power to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize macro-perfectly. We will raise our ability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to engage. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "interfaces". Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. Think user-centric. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor is next-generation, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. Without well-planned subscriber communities, power shifts are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think real-time, dot-com. Think 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.