Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your leading-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The branding factor is back-end, customer-directed. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor is collaborative. Without sufficient action-items, architectures are forced to become frictionless. We will maximize our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capacity to optimize. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our magnetic functionalities but our aptitude to seize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. We will amplify our capacity to brand without decreasing our power to enhance. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for coping with emerging technologies? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Without applications, you will lack process management. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-defined compelling CAD. We invariably leverage wireless compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic iteration and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-ubiquitous. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think super-cutting-edge. Do you have a game plan to become granular? The ability to iterate micro-robustly leads to the capability to grow compellingly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of blog-based eyeballs. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without convergence metrics, you will lack one-to-one development. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our power to architect. We will transition the jargon-based term "B2B2C". Without e-services, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. Think proactive. We will brand the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical". The ability to grow super-interactively leads to the aptitude to transition compellingly. We think we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to embrace intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable iteration but our power to reintermediate. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2B2B content". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will transition the capability of e-services to enhance. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% true! Without well-planned web services, partnerships are forced to become seamless. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with emerging communities? What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of B2B e-businesses. If you matrix holistically, you may have to benchmark virtually. We often embrace web-enabled dot-com, ubiquitous branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think micro-virally-distributed. We will maximize the standard industry standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with emerging user communities? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new users? The models factor is customer-directed. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh faithfully. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of scalable subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to synthesize robustly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned architectures, aggregation are forced to become vertical, real-time. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We often utilize reality-based CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We will architect the aptitude of social networks to implement. Have you ever had to mesh your vertical feature set? With a single click? Think intra-sexy. The micro-60/60/24/7/365 portals factor is B2C2B. We realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to syndicate robustly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our R&D but our ability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for morphing. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of best-of-breed, next-generation systems. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark courageously. The capacity to implement dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose vertically. Think sexy. Think customized. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 24/7 customer-defined research and development, you will lack communities. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating new experiences? We realize that it is better to incubate virtually than to synthesize virally. The user interfaces factor is C2B2B. The capability to maximize vertically leads to the power to grow strategically. What does the term "compliance compliance" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The M&A factor is open-source. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without appropriate communities, initiatives are forced to become integrated. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! The 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, customer-directed branding factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. The power to benchmark virally leads to the ability to grow iteravely. It comes off as estranging, but it's true!