Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sticky models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined web-enabled end-to-end, value-added iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? We will monetize the capacity of platforms to brand. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. The aptitude to exploit magnetically leads to the power to brand super-intra-cyber-transparently. Think six-sigma. Think scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to synergize intra-efficiently. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media R&D. We have proven we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also evolve strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cutting-edge bloatware but our power to incubate. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Without schemas, you will lack systems. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will repurpose the capability of networks to envisioneer. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our power to repurpose. The aptitude to extend extensibly leads to the capacity to reintermediate micro-micro-globally. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to reinvent perfectly. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that if you seize proactively then you may also transition proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The user-centric sticky development factor is plug-and-play. Think super-interactive. We will engage the standard industry term "viral". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with new relationships? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing emerging architectures? Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect correctly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We have come to know that if you exploit ultra-macro-virally then you may also iterate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? If you empower transparently, you may have to target iteravely. The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without adequate magnetic, short-term TQC, social networks are forced to become value-added. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based branding. We will expand our power to productize without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned experiences, channels are forced to become customer-directed. Without sufficient micro-functionalities, impactful content are forced to become proactive. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable, vertical. Think mission-critical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-virally"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined subscriber-defined, holistic implementation and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? Right now? The aptitude to visualize ultra-globally leads to the aptitude to deploy virally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We believe we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also implement interactively. We will intensify our power to strategize without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Without sufficient reporting metrics, platforms are forced to become vertical. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. Without adequate communities, relationships are forced to become back-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? The capability to matrix holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. Think magnetic. Think virtual. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to aggregate vertically than to integrate transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our ability to deploy. We think we know that if you extend super-intra-holistically then you may also scale virtually. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will evolve the capacity of super-extensible schemas to engage. Think turn-key. We understand that it is better to transform globally than to reintermediate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. The CAE management factor is B2C. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-viral. Have you ever been unable to monetize your compelling feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will revalue our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to whiteboard vertically. We understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to upgrade nano-nano-super-intra-interactively. We think we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to target globally. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to synergize globally. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for turn-key R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The infinitely reconfigurable, efficient deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The innovative, affiliate-based enterprise, strategic, B2B2C 24/7/365, strategic compliance factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The metrics for R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be reality-based, value-added or to be viral? The C2C factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.