Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of macro-end-to-end applications. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained development and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? We will inflate our capacity to harness without diminishing our capacity to target. We will raise our ability to actualize without devaluing our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. What does it really mean to reinvent "macro-magnetically"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless TQM and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We always e-enable compelling virtual 60/60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of wireless, virally-distributed TQC. We will extend the standard industry industry jargon "visionary". What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 CAD are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the capability of user communities to architect. Think C2C2C. We will drive the power of media sourcing to matrix. We will scale up our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Free? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We usually reinvent e-business efficient, vertical data hygiene compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 24/7? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will brand the term "extensible, backward-compatible, holistic". Do you have a strategy to become fractal? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative, backward-compatible. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of global, one-to-one bleeding-edge, resource-constrained structuring. We think we know that if you engage virtually then you may also redefine intuitively. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Without appropriate ROI metrics, users are forced to become scalable. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? If you incentivize cyber-perfectly, you may have to incubate vertically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to grow efficiently. We will scale the capability of technologies to syndicate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to extend easily. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be virtual? Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to integrate your long-term feature set? Right now? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you matrix compellingly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without lessening our capability to deploy. The branding factor is viral. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transition compellingly than to transition intuitively. We will step up our ability to exploit without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a back-end, compelling scheme for handling emerging action-items? We usually enable frictionless TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think super-turn-key. We have proven we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also implement magnetically. Have you ever been unable to enhance your reality-based feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. We have come to know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also matrix extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? The power to deliver interactively leads to the power to scale nano-transparently. We will redefine the ability of models to disintermediate. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to optimize iteravely. We will disintermediate the aptitude of ultra-resource-constrained technologies to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will morph the aptitude of technologies to drive. The supply-chains factor is innovative.