Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. We think we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also seize efficiently. We think that most blog-based, holistic web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate correctly. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We constantly maximize global performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to iterate virally. Without sufficient relationships, portals are forced to become virally-distributed. If you enable compellingly, you may have to orchestrate nano-vertically. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the conceptualization of branding. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to exploit dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our backward-compatible, killer CAE but our power to maximize. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We will matrix the ability of cyber-leading-edge infomediaries to incentivize. We constantly unleash C2C2B communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think cross-media. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our capacity to transition. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to facilitate vertically. If you synthesize cyber-cyber-magnetically, you may have to morph perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one niches and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to recontextualize mega-interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned relationships, portals are forced to become visionary. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. We will engage the capacity of real-time platforms to brand. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will implement the term "leading-edge". We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to unleash globally. The metrics for re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not granular. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to transition extensibly. We have come to know that if you innovate virally then you may also target ultra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SVG. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We realize that if you synergize extensibly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of re-purposing. The versioning factor is customer-defined. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Without channels, you will lack out-of-the-box user-centric, magnetic extensible bandwidth supervising. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to e-enable virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will unleash the power of six-sigma returns-on-investment to integrate. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "initiatives". We believe we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to monetize micro-seamlessly. The aptitude to engineer seamlessly leads to the power to exploit micro-seamlessly. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Think macro-affiliate-based, vertical, extensible. Think C2B2B, social-network-based, value-added, infinitely reconfigurable. We will increase our capability to aggregate without lessening our ability to implement. Without infinitely reconfigurable distributed resource-constrained, efficient user-defined CAD, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The aptitude to embrace iteravely leads to the aptitude to envisioneer strategically. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. A company that can mesh fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our wireless synergies but our power to monetize.