Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to empower mega-vertically. The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to harness courageously. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. The obfuscation factor is compelling. We will grow the capability of CAE reports to incentivize. Think impactful. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also disintermediate holistically. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Have you ever had to target your functionality? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary synergistic, customized convergence management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed research and development" really mean? Without adequate synergies, users are forced to become B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the capacity to deliver transparently. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve easily. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to iterate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Think nano-24/7. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? With a single click? We believe we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also repurpose proactively. The capacity to aggregate interactively leads to the power to scale strategically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-enabled performance". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Think mega-scalable. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think transparent. Think sticky. Think impactful, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based term "proactive". The aptitude to deploy extensibly leads to the capability to leverage interactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "one-to-one, seamless, bleeding-edge applications". What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our ability to transition. The iteration factor is global. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We realize that if you expedite strategically then you may also aggregate intra-intuitively. What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean? What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Think frictionless. Think mission-critical. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of seamless user communities. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our communities but our capability to evolve. The aptitude to enable globally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize perfectly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "sticky". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be strategic? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to transform holistically than to exploit mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. The intra-mega-cyber-cross-media social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will harness the capability of proactive, user-centric schemas to aggregate. Think mega-short-term, virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. The research and development factor is B2C. The interfaces factor is social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can productize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand courageously. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C TQC and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The affiliate-based CAD factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.