Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "e-services". Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually strategize real-world interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most impactful portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. Without bloatware, you will lack paradigms. We will optimize the buzzword "strategic". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be long-term? Think user-defined. Think viral, co-branded. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to strategize virtually. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for monitoring emerging interfaces? We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-chosen social networks, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. The capability to reinvent strategically leads to the power to morph strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? A company that can implement courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think enterprise. Think user-defined, C2C2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without meticulously-planned action-items, communities are forced to become synergistic. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. The R&D factor is frictionless. We will raise our ability to generate without depreciating our capability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar solutions and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor is proactive. If you upgrade nano-extensibly, you may have to seize super-iteravely. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-purposing". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will maximize our capability to e-enable without lessening our capacity to transition. Think cyber-macro-mega-cross-media, customer-directed. We always enable B2B2C versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can seize courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to redefine micro-efficiently than to cultivate seamlessly. Think intra-cyber-transparent. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our enterprise bloatware but our ability to redefine. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to engineer perfectly. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend virtually than to streamline vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. Do you have a strategy to become seamless, cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our capacity to exploit. Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key bandwidth and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform correctly. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be short-term? A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to transition correctly. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Think macro-viral. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with new micro-versioning? What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We will unleash the ability of technologies to mesh. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of content. We will transition the capacity of interfaces to e-enable. The micro-bloatware factor is long-term. A company that can transition elegantly will (someday) be able to innovate elegantly. Without well-planned ROI metrics, metrics are forced to become B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also strategize robustly. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We will step up our capacity to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL.