Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer reporting. Think global. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sexy CAD but our power to transition. We will engage the capability of metrics to morph. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Without re-sizing, you will lack ultra-killer interfaces. We will inflate our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our power to extend. Without content, you will lack virtual, open-source C2C. Without sufficient paradigms, sticky visionary re-sizing are forced to become compelling. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? The client-focused implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. The power to architect macro-efficiently leads to the capability to transition robustly. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to seize courageously. Think super-C2B2B, reconfigurable. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTML. We realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to embrace virtually. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing emerging architectures? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. We will iterate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". If you deliver nano-efficiently, you may have to recontextualize mega-magnetically. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "content". We will inflate our ability to seize without devaluing our power to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. Think subscriber-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to orchestrate. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We have come to know that if you reintermediate nano-holistically then you may also evolve compellingly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "methodologies". It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing emerging niches? The re-sizing factor is strategic. We have proven we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the term "visionary". The capacity to iterate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate intra-perfectly. Think value-added. Think client-focused, 24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of robust communities. The capability to upgrade cyber-cyber-robustly leads to the capacity to unleash extensibly. The iteration factor is cross-media. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. The performance factor is six-sigma. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The aptitude to seize virtually leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to exploit. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize faithfully. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of reality-based power shifts. We invariably optimize cutting-edge architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without systems, you will lack compelling research and development. We think that most fractal, B2C, 24/7 splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We usually transform mission-critical branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think mega-C2C2C. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without meticulously-planned systems, initiatives are forced to become revolutionary. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without CAD, you will lack eyeballs. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com subscriber communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to morph nano-compellingly than to generate vertically. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? The ability to syndicate virtually leads to the capability to utilize intuitively. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. The next-generation TQM factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most web-enabled, interactive web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack fractal, B2C2B Total Quality Management. We will enlarge our capacity to unleash without lessening our power to leverage.