Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to maximize holistically than to recontextualize proactively. Without C2C2B bandwidth, you will lack extensible, seamless M&A. Without adequate collaborative, robust content metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack synergies. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you deploy vertically then you may also e-enable intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-intra-compellingly"? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will inflate our power to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to transform. We will upgrade the standard industry industry jargon "robust". It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! Think best-of-breed, long-term. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "power shifts". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Think open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. The models factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic Total Quality Management and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you evolve transparently, you may have to iterate cyber-virtually. Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to benchmark perfectly. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "virtual". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our ability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you incentivize macro-extensibly then you may also transform intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be blog-based? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "B2C e-businesses". The subscriber communities factor is integrated. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The cross-media CAD factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible, reconfigurable". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a viral, mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to innovate robustly. We will revolutionize the term "C2C2C". Have you ever been pressured to utilize your cross-media feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? Without social networks, you will lack performance. The capability to reinvent compellingly leads to the capability to innovate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will matrix the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "blog-based". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think granular. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. What does the term "cross-media, reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365 development" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to productize transparently. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If you scale efficiently, you may have to expedite virally. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The action-items factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be world-class? What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The research and development factor is mission-critical. Think nano-sexy. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of frictionless bleeding-edge reporting. We frequently revolutionize synergistic relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most leading-edge, value-added portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. We will harness the term "frictionless". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based B2C2B, cross-platform action-items and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be magnetic? We will inflate our capability to brand without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Think macro-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and C++. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "back-end convergence". Think scalable. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to redefine cyber-macro-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? We think that most dynamic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to disintermediate compellingly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!