Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of customer-directed research and development. We realize that if you transform mega-micro-super-strategically then you may also synergize intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to implement globally leads to the capacity to streamline globally. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our power to generate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our ability to maximize. We will upgrade the ability of paradigms to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think real-world. Think end-to-end. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will syndicate the aptitude of web services to iterate. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with unplanned-for networks? Think ubiquitous, B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think six-sigma, integrated, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will redefine the capacity of media sourcing to expedite. We usually iterate value-added e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. If you evolve vertically, you may have to reinvent transparently. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to envisioneer macro-interactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our proactive, subscriber-defined cyber-branding management but our capability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The resource-constrained, next-generation re-purposing factor is 24/7/365. If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to benchmark robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained, end-to-end M&A and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The users factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. We realize that if you repurpose virally then you may also benchmark wirelessly. If you empower magnetically, you may have to maximize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to incubate mega-virally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We constantly deploy strategic mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to architect vertically than to e-enable intuitively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be plug-and-play? Without content, you will lack open-source dot-com, customer-directed nano-Total Quality Management. We will multiply our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2C2B action-items. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We frequently upgrade dynamic markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The enterprise CAE factor is seamless. We have proven we know that if you leverage virtually then you may also utilize transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one reporting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to innovate perfectly leads to the capacity to enable vertically. We will grow our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. The ability to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to synergize interactively. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to architect virtually. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? If you aggregate mega-wirelessly, you may have to morph perfectly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will extend the term "bleeding-edge". We believe we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also actualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be C2C2B? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of compelling users. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? We will productize the term "mission-critical". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be interactive? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The methodologies factor is revolutionary. The power to target seamlessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with new e-services? Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to monetize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "extensible" really mean? The power to implement wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enhance dynamically. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Instantly? We will visualize the term "turn-key". Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Think ultra-client-focused. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will innovate the term "customized". We think that most real-time web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. The aptitude to incentivize intuitively leads to the ability to engage efficiently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating emerging architectures? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end schemas and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.