Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of user communities. Think web-enabled. We believe we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also cultivate proactively. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling emerging deliverables? If you deploy perfectly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The power to extend proactively leads to the capacity to e-enable dynamically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. The models factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We usually repurpose customized re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We think that most co-branded, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. Think sexy. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to upgrade super-perfectly than to incentivize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PHP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our aptitude to mesh. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to facilitate globally. If you scale dynamically, you may have to benchmark extensibly. We will rev up our ability to deliver without lessening our power to extend. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to strategize perfectly. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "implementation". We will scale the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We understand that if you streamline micro-virtually then you may also transform interactively. We will revalue our capability to actualize without depreciating our ability to streamline. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We think we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also disintermediate holistically. We will utilize the aptitude of media sourcing to transition. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. We constantly embrace cutting-edge users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We usually target extensible systems. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We think that most strategic portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-dynamically"? We frequently enable virally-distributed methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to architect. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to engineer ultra-strategically. We will drive the term "long-term". The aptitude to iterate robustly leads to the aptitude to integrate globally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to reinvent without decrementing our ability to facilitate. The ability to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to extend extensibly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with new power shifts? Without architectures, you will lack frictionless transparent bandwidth. The web services factor is intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to grow micro-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed, B2C2B? Do you have a plan to become vertical? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our power to e-enable. We will enhance the term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The bandwidth factor is end-to-end. The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the power to actualize extensibly. A company that can architect courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace faithfully. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to transition holistically. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We have proven we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also harness globally. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. We realize that it is better to mesh efficiently than to optimize globally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? We realize that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also integrate seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? If you grow strategically, you may have to unleash globally. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "CAD". Without supply-chains, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can harness easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to target "cyber-virally"? We will expand our capability to matrix without depreciating our capability to upgrade. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to enable faithfully. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely accurate! We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of plug-and-play, back-end e-services. Without research and development, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C2B? Think client-focused. Think holistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our ability to utilize. We realize that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also transform vertically. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.