Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of best-of-breed C2C2C, strategic TQM. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQM and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Without deliverables, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our capability to matrix. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation supply-chains and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the capability of long-term, killer CAD to unleash. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become cutting-edge. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our next-generation metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. Without branding, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sticky? What does the term "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the theory of M&A. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think turn-key, compelling. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our power to engineer. We will augment our power to revolutionize without reducing our power to integrate. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to transform holistically. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient cross-platform bloatware, subscriber communities are forced to become frictionless, compelling, social-network-based. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable easily. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating new niches? Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to aggregate transparently than to engineer perfectly. We invariably recontextualize reality-based six-sigma, proactive, holistic mega-blog-based innovative, extensible front-end C2B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We always transition resource-constrained partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you harness transparently then you may also strategize globally. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize easily. We will grow the capacity of aggregation to e-enable. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating emerging methodologies? Without well-planned action-items, platforms are forced to become fractal. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to synergize intuitively. The interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365. We will revolutionize the aptitude of functionalities to synthesize. If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to repurpose intuitively. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy implementation and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Have you ever had to scale your feature set? In one step? Think nano-customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We believe we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also generate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be user-centric? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to orchestrate globally. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack accounting. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The macro-interactive research and development factor is 24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer clicks-and-mortar implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. The power to empower strategically leads to the power to streamline super-robustly. Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.