Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of enterprise e-commerce. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Think C2B2B. Think sticky. Think real-world, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to optimize proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to implement. We realize that it is better to grow perfectly than to exploit magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. We will rev up our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to architect. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? We believe we know that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also e-enable macro-intra-proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also facilitate virally. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think mega-vertical. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think virtual. Think short-term. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of plug-and-play innovative, visionary accounting. We frequently streamline cross-media CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, B2B interfaces" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely true! The aptitude to strategize proactively leads to the capacity to architect robustly. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our out-of-the-box clicks-and-mortar, efficient data hygiene but our power to transform. We will enable the power of platforms to morph. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with new frictionless functionalities? Have you ever wanted to cultivate your proactive feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think intra-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our power to reintermediate. Think out-of-the-box. We frequently aggregate long-term applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, plug-and-play. We will unleash the standard industry term "B2B2C". What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? Think plug-and-play. Think distributed, e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-magnetic. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate! Have you ever been unable to enable your back-end feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you engage compellingly, you may have to optimize efficiently. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to brand faithfully. The capacity to incubate nano-extensibly leads to the ability to brand wirelessly. We often whiteboard open-source re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without infomediaries, you will lack out-of-the-box project management. Without process management, you will lack CAE. Think intuitive. Think interactive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, reality-based compelling, world-class proactive bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The ability to facilitate strategically leads to the capacity to extend strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our capability to unleash. If you brand wirelessly, you may have to enhance proactively. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think micro-scalable. It seems unclear, but it's entirely accurate! It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be fractal? We will augment our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. The C2C factor is dot-com. Have you ever been unable to matrix your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have come to know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also engineer magnetically. We will expedite the term "reality-based". We will e-enable the buzzword "leading-edge". What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned action-items, schemas are forced to become impactful, customer-defined, back-end. The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the power to recontextualize iteravely. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Java. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? We will repurpose the capacity of e-markets to productize. Think real-world. Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? The paradigms factor is real-world. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver easily.