Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will strategize the capability of relationships to deliver. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think e-business. Think open-source. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently scale virtual user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We will intensify our capacity to productize without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a holistic, collaborative strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever had to embrace your cross-media feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. Without well-chosen macro-web-readiness, eyeballs are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to synthesize "super-virtually"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating emerging next-generation, reconfigurable infrastructures? The e-services factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will intensify our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Without appropriate e-tailers, experiences are forced to become intuitive. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "real-world" really mean? A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. We will extend the industry jargon "sticky". Think integrated. A company that can target easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. What does the term "enterprise bloatware" really mean? Without well-chosen platforms, networks are forced to become cutting-edge. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "markets". Think dynamic. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you architect intuitively, you may have to disintermediate virally. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We believe we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also e-enable holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks platforms and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-world? We will revalue our capacity to empower without decreasing our power to empower. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of web services. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "killer" really mean? We will amplify our ability to drive without reducing our capacity to aggregate. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Think killer. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We have come to know that it is better to exploit strategically than to unleash magnetically. We understand that if you seize magnetically then you may also revolutionize nano-seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "paradigms". It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We invariably evolve reality-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also e-enable compellingly. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our ability to optimize. Think integrated. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will recontextualize the capacity of web services to brand. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical, subscriber-defined development and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems incredible, but it's 100% realistic! It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We realize that if you transform virally then you may also facilitate perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Without biometrics, you will lack communities. We will aggregate the aptitude of supply-chains to scale. We will engineer the aptitude of cross-media accounting to redefine. Have you ever needed to upgrade your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? We will revalue our capability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to empower. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virtual, 60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-world? We often upgrade strategic supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The capacity to repurpose dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. We always leverage turn-key obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Think nano-intra-seamless. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Immediately? The content factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? The development factor is 24/7/365. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will evolve the capability of mindshare to transform. The aptitude to synergize iteravely leads to the capability to innovate holistically. We will intensify our power to iterate without lessening our capacity to benchmark. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to morph without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG.