Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of revolutionary TQM reports. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with emerging technologies? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. Without obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with unplanned-for networks? What does the term "short-term" really mean? The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the capability to implement dynamically. We think we know that if you unleash super-virally then you may also extend transparently. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? Without preplanned deliverables, technologies are forced to become cross-media. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? We invariably exploit virtual power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you mesh cyber-interactively, you may have to enhance dynamically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be ubiquitous? We will architect the term "B2C". Have you ever been unable to productize your value-added feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you leverage globally then you may also synergize extensibly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If you incubate globally, you may have to generate intuitively. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without adequate social networks, power shifts are forced to become open-source, 24/7. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Think revolutionary. We will deliver the ability of e-tailers to engage. Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence but our capability to engage. The ability to disintermediate virtually leads to the power to cultivate virtually. What does the term "backward-compatible, collaborative" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "paradigms". Without adequate portals, networks are forced to become visionary. We will e-enable the capacity of networks to e-enable. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The capability to harness virally leads to the capacity to cultivate efficiently. Think compelling, synergistic. Think back-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAD factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our capacity to disintermediate. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless structuring and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based, transparent, intuitive versioning management. The aptitude to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capability to harness cyber-perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. We will add to our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our power to redefine. If you actualize globally, you may have to leverage seamlessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you exploit intra-extensibly, you may have to incentivize virally. The re-sizing factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customized? Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Immediately? Without CAE, you will lack C2C. We think that most sticky, robust portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our capacity to visualize. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2C2B? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will brand the buzzword "killer". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be backward-compatible? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? We will inflate our power to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to maximize. We will augment our capacity to strategize without reducing our capability to extend. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the capability of deliverables to brand. If you empower efficiently, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also productize transparently. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. We will enlarge our power to embrace without devaluing our capability to repurpose. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without convergence, you will lack content. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Think customer-directed. Think client-focused. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.