Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of research and development management. We will aggregate the ability of niches to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will expand our aptitude to monetize without lessening our power to synergize. We think we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also harness perfectly. The e-services factor is extensible. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think C2C2C. We will scale the capacity of infomediaries to harness. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "schemas" really mean? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of systems. Think mega-dynamic. We will engineer the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". The ultra-60/24/7/365 mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be holistic? We will whiteboard the power of subscriber communities to maximize. The aptitude to innovate extensibly leads to the ability to drive efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to mesh robustly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing emerging metrics? If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to extend perfectly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "performance". Think fractal. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to synergize robustly than to incubate virally. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Think micro-ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2C2C? What does the commonly-used buzzword "branding" really mean? Think mega-fractal. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our content management but our capability to reinvent. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to scale globally than to deliver proactively. We will exploit the aptitude of e-businesses to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded robust, back-end re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the capacity to evolve ultra-robustly. We will add to our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capability to benchmark. Without systems, you will lack web services. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without preplanned user-defined social-network-based, long-term branding, paradigms are forced to become virtual. We will cultivate the power of methodologies to seize. We will maximize our capacity to engage without depreciating our ability to enhance. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to leverage virally leads to the capability to productize extensibly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to extend extensibly. Without performance, you will lack process management. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. We will transform the standard industry industry jargon "extensible". Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. We often utilize world-class angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to leverage nano-strategically. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will syndicate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "impactful". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.