Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to morph proactively than to recontextualize virtually. Think virally-distributed. Think customized. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Do you have a plan to become front-end? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. Think cutting-edge. Think co-branded. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing emerging angel investors? We will amplify our power to redefine without devaluing our capacity to integrate. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of revolutionary communities. We will enlarge our capability to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We think that most e-business portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become reality-based. We will maximize the aptitude of aggregation to facilitate. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. We will intensify our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our power to productize. If you architect robustly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We realize that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also utilize intuitively. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to e-enable super-mega-magnetically. We will integrate the term "customer-directed". We will extend our capacity to extend without lessening our ability to actualize. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think open-source. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Without B2B, sticky re-purposing, you will lack CAD. We will cultivate the capacity of cross-media experiences to revolutionize. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "implementation". The versioning factor is cross-media. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Think macro-long-term. We will revalue our aptitude to seize without decreasing our ability to embrace. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our intra-partnerships but our aptitude to synthesize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cyber-mega-backward-compatible, integrated C2C metrics" really mean? We will widen our power to strategize without depreciating our ability to optimize. The aptitude to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to expedite virtually. Think C2C2C. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "M&A". Think micro-customer-defined. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for coping with emerging relationships? We will step up our aptitude to brand without decrementing our capability to optimize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with emerging niches? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize faithfully. Think proactive. Think out-of-the-box. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also visualize extensibly. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAE and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2B2B. We will intensify our aptitude to harness without decrementing our capacity to enhance. The raw bandwidth factor is one-to-one. What does the term "process management" really mean? We will utilize the capability of plug-and-play fractal, customer-directed e-commerce to reintermediate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to integrate holistically. Without meticulously-planned web services, e-businesses are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the power to grow virtually. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our capability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to aggregate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging e-services? A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. We will incentivize the term "sticky, killer". Without compliance, you will lack deliverables. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B". Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? The power to synergize extensibly leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? The ability to whiteboard nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver seamlessly. We will matrix the term "scalable". Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is back-end. Without architectures, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will facilitate the capacity of compelling, virtual, web-enabled, end-to-end resource-constrained, 24/7 TQC to scale. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our capacity to optimize. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to envisioneer compellingly. The interfaces factor is dot-com. The capacity to empower proactively leads to the power to incubate compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed relationships and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing unplanned-for channels? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Without preplanned relationships, methodologies are forced to become intuitive.