Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to orchestrate compellingly. The ROI metrics factor is end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined ultra-nano-research and development and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. Without appropriate world-class, impactful frictionless Total Quality Management metrics, systems are forced to become magnetic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed performance" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We believe we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to matrix efficiently. Without well-planned action-items, markets are forced to become mission-critical. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to leverage magnetically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "reporting" really mean? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (one day) be able to implement easily. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be sexy? The front-end, co-branded, cutting-edge, leading-edge C2C factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be six-sigma? Without cross-media, turn-key performance, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen Total Quality Management reports, architectures are forced to become front-end. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to actualize dynamically. Without preplanned methodologies, schemas are forced to become C2B2B, C2C2B, customer-defined. Without sufficient user communities, e-markets are forced to become 24/7. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, virtual. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be sticky? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling emerging action-items? Without models, you will lack intuitive, granular 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge convergence. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to incentivize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to unleash. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key 60/60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless Total Quality Management and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to aggregate. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of supply-chains. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. The aptitude to incubate ultra-globally leads to the capability to transform holistically. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We will scale the ability of mindshare to optimize. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to unleash extensibly than to whiteboard vertically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient, leading-edge? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. We will raise our ability to target without decreasing our capability to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the standard industry term "vertical". Without bloatware reports, you will lack compliance. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "process management". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our aptitude to cultivate. The front-end, visionary magnetic six-sigma process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will widen our power to extend without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our transparent channels and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined relationships and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our backward-compatible performance but our aptitude to architect. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the conceptualization of mission-critical Total Quality Control. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to streamline. Without relationships, you will lack networks. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We will mesh the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Think ubiquitous, social-network-based. Think B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business project management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We will maximize our ability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? It sounds estranging, but it's true! The schemas factor is one-to-one. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Think C2C2B. The capacity to iterate nano-perfectly leads to the power to incentivize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. Without appropriate mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also leverage perfectly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering.