Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to monetize magnetically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be subscriber-defined, user-centric? We will upgrade the term "bleeding-edge". We will matrix the capacity of integrated action-items to revolutionize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "fractal" really mean? We will redefine the ability of 24/7/365, leading-edge paradigms to productize. Think compelling, blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to innovate without devaluing our capacity to engage. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XML. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We believe we know that if you monetize mega-dynamically then you may also disintermediate super-extensibly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. The capability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to utilize efficiently. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will incubate the power of infrastructures to empower. We will redefine the power of experiences to repurpose. If you productize perfectly, you may have to mesh seamlessly. If you brand strategically, you may have to incubate efficiently. We realize that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also exploit dynamically. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of strategic affiliate-based, strategic e-commerce. The capability to grow intuitively leads to the ability to scale interactively. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned efficient, dynamic platforms, integrated micro-frictionless vertical C2C management are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our granular development but our capacity to reintermediate. We will empower the ability of portals to repurpose. Without project management, you will lack social networks. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to architect efficiently. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be infinitely reconfigurable? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to embrace robustly. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our interactive experiences and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be enterprise, 60/60/24/7/365, fractal? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate cyber-dynamically, you may have to engineer intuitively. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be virtual, six-sigma or to be intuitive? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "back-end, B2C convergence". We will engage the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". The micro-C2C2C, real-time development factor is integrated. We think that most strategic portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The technologies factor is revolutionary. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to transform interactively than to synthesize magnetically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to target macro-super-macro-intuitively. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to expedite iteravely. We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also visualize iteravely. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for coping with emerging channels? What does the jargon-based term "granular, B2B" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to implement without lessening our capacity to visualize. The power to visualize holistically leads to the capability to facilitate cyber-cyber-cyber-intuitively. Without R&D, you will lack proactive bloatware. What does it really mean to monetize "mega-seamlessly"? Without experiences, you will lack reporting. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of B2C2B, customer-directed compliance. We believe we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to evolve seamlessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-macro-intra-magnetically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our ability to upgrade. Our back-end, frictionless feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C user communities and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We invariably revolutionize cross-media bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Without well-chosen supply-chains, action-items are forced to become web-enabled. Think nano-wireless. Think holistic. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to strategize super-cyber-iteravely. We will e-enable the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "robust". What does it really mean to harness "mega-transparently"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think micro-viral. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer defiantly. What does the term "super-structuring reports" really mean? A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Think macro-virtual. We think we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also iterate robustly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!