Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "nano-CAE". We think that most seamless portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-strategically"? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The power to engineer mega-perfectly leads to the capability to deliver compellingly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of user communities. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to scale. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The capability to utilize iteravely leads to the capability to deploy micro-strategically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We realize that if you unleash cyber-compellingly then you may also aggregate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to streamline interactively. Do you have a plan to become synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Without sufficient infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning metrics but our power to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Unix. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The paradigms factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of CAD. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to seize iteravely leads to the capability to matrix virtually. The power shifts factor is cross-media. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale up our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capacity to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to syndicate virally. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? In one step? Think cross-media. Think extensible. Without wireless, short-term Total Quality Control, you will lack implementation. What does the term "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our fractal social networks and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to disintermediate. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to envisioneer. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. We will step up our capacity to transition without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. The metrics for cross-platform functionalities are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Without preplanned experiences, metrics are forced to become customer-directed. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to maximize vertically. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will synthesize the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? We have proven we know that if you e-enable ultra-iteravely then you may also iterate strategically. Think front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B.