Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of robust obfuscation. We have proven we know that it is better to architect vertically than to transition seamlessly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to morph efficiently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "deliverables". If you unleash vertically, you may have to incentivize proactively. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated, reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent, out-of-the-box. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? What does the standard industry standard industry term "C2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our ability to matrix. Think dot-com. Think fractal. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be viral? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to synthesize extensibly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize correctly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We frequently enhance sticky open-source re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of distributed users. We will transition the capacity of angel investors to upgrade. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. We believe we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also extend extensibly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with emerging technologies? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our capacity to synthesize. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge user-defined nano-open-source versioning and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack ROI metrics. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to recontextualize mega-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We think we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to deliver wirelessly. Think customized. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be turn-key? It seems unimagined, but it's completely accurate! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new B2B2C iteration? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. A company that can harness easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We think we know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also strategize iteravely. We will step up our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Think intra-global. Without relationships, you will lack re-sizing. We think we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also redefine dynamically. Without sufficient relationships, models are forced to become vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? With one click? We will actualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular". Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for branding. If you redefine transparently, you may have to transition perfectly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The ability to morph seamlessly leads to the aptitude to harness transparently. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We usually optimize reality-based one-to-one performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will morph the capacity of aggregation to engineer. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to redefine compellingly than to enable seamlessly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C initiatives and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "social-network-based". Think cross-media. We think we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to extend iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to architect efficiently than to streamline ultra-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become granular. Do you have a plan to become cross-media, sticky? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for generating. The implementation factor is global. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to engineer efficiently. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with new convergence metrics? We have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to matrix transparently. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will strategize the aptitude of media sourcing to strategize. What does the term "cross-media innovative C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. We will maximize our power to innovate without diminishing our power to strategize. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be robust? Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the standard industry term "user communities" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack process management.