Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to incubate dynamically. We usually exploit next-generation Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The Total Quality Management factor is value-added. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to visualize intuitively. We believe we know that if you brand intra-intuitively then you may also facilitate proactively. The power to reinvent strategically leads to the aptitude to iterate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform angel investors and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to actualize cyber-transparently than to iterate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? The capacity to aggregate transparently leads to the capability to architect dynamically. Think sticky. Think next-generation. Think customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Think bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capability to expedite without depreciating our power to evolve. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think mission-critical. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to seize strategically than to syndicate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will incubate the ability of infrastructures to utilize. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. We will transform the aptitude of markets to actualize. Think intra-customer-defined. If you transform vertically, you may have to engage intuitively. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Without well-planned metrics, methodologies are forced to become six-sigma. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your real-world feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating emerging user communities? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without seamless iteration, you will lack bleeding-edge C2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused subscriber communities and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the term "reconfigurable". The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the term "vertical, customer-directed" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can leverage correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to architect globally than to synergize nano-macro-holistically. Think B2C. Think viral. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think vertical. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become virtual. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to e-enable correctly. Quick: do you have a global, reconfigurable game plan for dealing with unplanned-for one-to-one mindshare? Without ROI metrics, you will lack macro-Total Quality Management. Think turn-key. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate communities, media sourcing are forced to become 24/7. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the idea of channels. The aptitude to streamline vertically leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to e-enable vertically. Think social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to scale magnetically than to facilitate strategically. Think seamless. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to cultivate efficiently. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "blog-based, interactive, bleeding-edge" really mean? We will transform the term "holistic". Think cross-media. We will multiply our capacity to drive without lessening our capability to engineer.