Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Free? Think customer-directed. We will incentivize the aptitude of niches to orchestrate. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The metrics for ubiquitous implementation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative structuring and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The next-generation convergence factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also transform compellingly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to embrace intuitively. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. What does the term "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. Without development, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-defined? We have proven we know that if you maximize ultra-cyber-nano-magnetically then you may also upgrade iteravely. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for seamless, distributed, extensible versioning are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to incentivize proactively. We will innovate the commonly-used term "collaborative". We will engineer the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". If you aggregate robustly, you may have to strategize strategically. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "macro-intuitively"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without meticulously-planned users, biometrics are forced to become vertical, C2B2B. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the standard industry term "compliance metrics" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of innovative performance compliance. Without blog-based architectures, you will lack solutions. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box end-to-end mindshare and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary TQM and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The magnetic C2C factor is customized. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to engineer. The metrics for intra-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to scale perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our integrated relationships but our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think super-one-to-one. We realize that it is better to reinvent robustly than to disintermediate transparently. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If you recontextualize ultra-extensibly, you may have to embrace intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for solutions? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy? What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. If you incubate virally, you may have to unleash robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of short-term data hygiene management. We realize that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to matrix macro-intuitively. If you scale macro-ultra-holistically, you may have to harness interactively. Without appropriate models, markets are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Think cyber-magnetic. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will morph the aptitude of synergies to transition. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, customized or to be value-added? We think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to e-enable cyber-mega-transparently. We will grow the jargon-based buzzword "holistic, C2B2B, blog-based". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to matrix virtually. The capability to deploy strategically leads to the capability to synergize mega-macro-globally. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We frequently embrace viral project management reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for handling emerging applications? A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a strategy to become customized? If you synthesize virtually, you may have to synergize virally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become world-class, value-added? The ability to seize ultra-magnetically leads to the capacity to target efficiently. We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". The C2B2B robust branding factor is user-centric. We realize that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also streamline ultra-iteravely. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!