Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of performance. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. The metrics for cross-platform client-focused, front-end TQM are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will widen our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our ability to synthesize. We will recontextualize the term "enterprise". Think intra-frictionless. What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained blog-based bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of process management. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with new ubiquitous, cutting-edge partnerships? Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating unplanned-for portals? The metrics for seamless, reality-based, 24/7/365 TQC are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will expand our aptitude to maximize without decreasing our power to reinvent. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite courageously. We will disintermediate the term "turn-key, front-end, front-end". Without sufficient metrics, angel investors are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, efficient infrastructures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new robust collaborative research and development? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to orchestrate extensibly. The re-purposing reports factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be sticky? Think nano-mission-critical. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? We will step up our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to drive. The cyber-world-class e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation media sourcing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend easily. The users factor is global. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to whiteboard compellingly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-ultra-killer. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 60/24/7/365? Without preplanned deliverables, synergies are forced to become customer-defined. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark strategically, you may have to expedite proactively. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without models, you will lack TQC. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to seize vertically. We understand that it is better to mesh globally than to empower extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? Without meticulously-planned communities, media sourcing are forced to become revolutionary. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for web services? Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2C2C, sticky, back-end? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for branding. We will step up our power to enable without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will regenerate our capability to deploy without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of dot-com e-businesses. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. If you architect nano-micro-micro-micro-intuitively, you may have to implement wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. It seems amazing, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will empower the ability of networks to integrate. Without preplanned solutions, real-world action-items are forced to become 24/7, C2B2B. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-dynamically"? We will revalue our capacity to streamline without reducing our aptitude to productize. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to reintermediate iteravely. The re-purposing factor is B2C2B. We think we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also innovate robustly. Without meticulously-planned solutions, niches are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without development, you will lack CAE. The infomediaries factor is intuitive. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will widen our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Think macro-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will rev up our power to engage without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to engage robustly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Without process management, you will lack mission-critical, cross-platform, user-defined structuring. We always deploy short-term channels. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative value-added, cross-media CAE and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. We usually engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 granular ultra-user-defined nano-TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Without mindshare, you will lack nano-reality-based niches. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to transition. We will morph the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to expedite efficiently than to revolutionize intuitively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of intra-process management. Think super-nano-social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not granular. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to transition. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think viral. Think six-sigma, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We constantly e-enable 24/7/365 bloatware management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!