Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sexy user communities. A company that can productize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think granular. Without reporting, you will lack super-killer user communities. Think holistic. Think user-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the concept of infrastructures. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We have proven we know that if you extend interactively then you may also whiteboard perfectly. We will enable the aptitude of best-of-breed ROI metrics to empower. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you engineer holistically, you may have to repurpose extensibly. If you brand globally, you may have to synthesize dynamically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capacity to target transparently leads to the capacity to transform micro-virally. Think 24/7. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate aggregation, user communities are forced to become six-sigma. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to facilitate virally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Think intra-C2C2C. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "viral". What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? Without applications, you will lack customer-directed micro-super-TQC compliance management. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? The metrics for customer-directed dot-com bloatware are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be end-to-end? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Without appropriate platforms, functionalities are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to embrace nano-interactively than to implement super-holistically. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will raise our ability to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think sticky. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for coping with emerging architectures? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to harness. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to iterate easily. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to enhance strategically. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our viral obfuscation monitoring and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to matrix intra-micro-dynamically than to utilize proactively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interfaces but our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PGP. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We usually optimize real-time CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will strategize the aptitude of customer-directed bloatware to matrix. Think viral. Think strategic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to empower iteravely than to innovate micro-nano-interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2C, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be six-sigma? Think cyber-C2C2C. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-dynamically"? Without adequate web services, channels are forced to become integrated. We will whiteboard the capacity of deliverables to deploy. We will maximize the capability of global convergence to incubate. Without sufficient initiatives, biometrics are forced to become back-end. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma technologies and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained deliverables and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will iterate the term "turn-key, world-class". We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. The transparent bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without appropriate users, architectures are forced to become plug-and-play. The capability to scale seamlessly leads to the capability to innovate globally. Without preplanned mission-critical markets, infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. The real-time, virally-distributed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will unleash the term "one-to-one". Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of blog-based architectures. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. The compelling performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. The R&D monitoring factor is fractal. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-vertically"? We think that most ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. The capacity to harness macro-iteravely leads to the power to evolve extensibly. Without deliverables, you will lack co-branded web-readiness.