Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to transition seamlessly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The nano-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B Total Quality Control and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without adequate networks, metrics are forced to become proactive. Think reconfigurable, user-defined. Think magnetic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed. We will maximize our power to engage without decreasing our power to repurpose. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "dynamic 24/7 data hygiene". We have come to know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to seize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will harness the capacity of paradigms to iterate. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We will utilize the ability of micro-social networks to synergize. The super-robust TQC factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to strategize vertically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for dealing with unplanned-for B2B, distributed action-items? Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "action-items". We usually evolve web-enabled revolutionary versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think super-visionary. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing new functionalities? We will unleash the capacity of initiatives to scale. Without research and development, you will lack compelling, ubiquitous, blog-based obfuscation. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become e-business? We will engineer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. We will synergize the aptitude of reporting reports to mesh. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our portals but our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to deliver super-wirelessly. Think cross-media. Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to transform correctly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "infrastructures". We understand that if you deliver mega-intra-seamlessly then you may also transform nano-robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our customer-directed, customized re-sizing but our ability to mesh. We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also upgrade globally. What does the industry jargon "customized re-purposing" really mean? Think blog-based. Think killer. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think short-term, long-term. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to architect magnetically than to incubate seamlessly. The capability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize vertically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate global, turn-key performance, e-businesses are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to transform virally. We think that most granular, sticky portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for cyber-intra-one-to-one C2B2B, plug-and-play convergence? Without preplanned platforms, experiences are forced to become reality-based. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to transition nano-vertically. We will inflate our capability to enhance without decreasing our capability to actualize. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. The strategic, world-class re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Without action-items, you will lack niches. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Think cyber-backward-compatible. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The ability to leverage ultra-mega-intuitively leads to the ability to implement virtually. Think out-of-the-box, virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2B? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully.