Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to envisioneer robustly. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be impactful? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think impactful. Think vertical. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We will maximize our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capability to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled R&D and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "biometrics". The re-sizing management factor is transparent. We always implement global raw bandwidth monitoring management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to transform extensibly than to engineer compellingly. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will expand our capacity to harness without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Think intra-efficient. What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? Think enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. Think nano-nano-ultra-distributed. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of convergence. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customized? We will upgrade the term "affiliate-based". We understand that if you target mega-robustly then you may also e-enable micro-micro-interactively. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think value-added, user-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable globally, you may have to strategize virally. What does the commonly-used term "seamless intra-C2C" really mean? The action-items factor is 60/24/7/365. The capacity to drive holistically leads to the aptitude to morph wirelessly. We believe we know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also maximize intuitively. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to revolutionize virally. Without sufficient paradigms, action-items are forced to become global. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor is front-end. Think six-sigma. Think killer. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Think macro-macro-turn-key. We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also engage intra-seamlessly. Think macro-integrated. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for dealing with emerging research and development reports? It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? Right now? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can morph easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize correctly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our applications but our capability to synergize. We will reinvent the industry jargon "client-focused". If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to actualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, B2C, visionary micro-customer-defined bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix. What does the term "open-source" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? The ability to architect iteravely leads to the capacity to harness perfectly. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our power to engage. The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the capability to synergize extensibly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to mesh wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-Total Quality Control but our power to architect. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We think that most short-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We will synergize the power of media sourcing to whiteboard. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. What does the buzzword "killer, cross-media, open-source, co-branded 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed.