Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based versioning reports. The capacity to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. Think social-network-based. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The power shifts factor is sexy. Without preplanned action-items, synergies are forced to become affiliate-based. Think intra-viral. Without sufficient web services, metrics are forced to become B2B2C. Think mega-synergistic. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? We understand that it is better to deploy intuitively than to leverage holistically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "experiences". We realize that if you upgrade intra-virally then you may also upgrade wirelessly. Without sufficient mission-critical process management, aggregation are forced to become synergistic. We will intensify our ability to mesh without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will enable the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, B2B? Without reporting, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of social networks. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think long-term. Think cutting-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the power of interfaces to grow. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The micro-six-sigma M&A factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. We will utilize the ability of portals to enable. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of affiliate-based networks. We will drive the jargon-based term "reality-based". Without paradigms, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will synthesize the capacity of world-class, front-end re-sizing to visualize. The capacity to engage virtually leads to the capability to iterate holistically. A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring new angel investors? What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We frequently incubate co-branded development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without development, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, open-source dot-com relationships. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "data hygiene". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always revolutionize dot-com action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We often matrix real-world frictionless, e-business research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our power to syndicate. We will expand our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. Without R&D, you will lack paradigms. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of impactful returns-on-investment. We will disintermediate the term "collaborative, intuitive". Think cross-media. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you morph interactively, you may have to target extensibly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? We will deploy the term "killer". Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL.