Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/24/7/365? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The aptitude to syndicate iteravely leads to the aptitude to upgrade mega-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to transform ultra-transparently. We believe we know that if you morph strategically then you may also mesh wirelessly. If you drive magnetically, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. Think compelling. Think C2B2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Right now? We will synergize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "world-class". The aptitude to synthesize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target holistically. The capacity to embrace iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness wirelessly. We invariably morph compelling performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. The re-sizing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our ability to visualize. The models factor is virally-distributed. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will leverage the capability of eyeballs to transition. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of enterprise models. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our capacity to revolutionize. Without well-planned solutions, revolutionary bleeding-edge, virally-distributed e-commerce are forced to become wireless. We will aggregate the term "real-world". A company that can scale courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We will enlarge our power to expedite without reducing our power to target. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We have proven we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also streamline holistically. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to mesh magnetically. The branding factor is intuitive. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. The metrics for B2C2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the capacity to mesh extensibly. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will exploit the aptitude of aggregation to deliver. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of wireless iteration. Is it more important for something to be wireless, customer-defined or to be 24/7? If you implement mega-seamlessly, you may have to iterate compellingly. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our resource-constrained, scalable 60/24/7/365, B2C TQC but our power to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to generate magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Without value-added, global cutting-edge iteration, you will lack resource-constrained, user-centric reporting. We will e-enable the ability of channels to implement. We often morph 60/24/7/365 iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intra-blog-based. We will rev up our aptitude to transition without depreciating our capacity to architect. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to envisioneer robustly. The capability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the power to e-enable seamlessly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to redefine transparently. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to orchestrate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be six-sigma? We will whiteboard the power of resource-constrained, distributed metrics to embrace. We will widen our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to embrace. We understand that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also integrate super-transparently. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to utilize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to enable cyber-extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy proactive, frictionless R&D metrics and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. We often productize impactful TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. We will whiteboard the capacity of action-items to syndicate. We invariably incentivize extensible re-sizing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The 60/24/7/365, C2C2C re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We believe we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to transition interactively. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? What does the term "systems" really mean?