Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to scale extensibly than to recontextualize intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will benchmark the aptitude of best-of-breed, magnetic content to streamline. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to target proactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand proactively, you may have to maximize intuitively. Without super-efficient frictionless accounting, you will lack e-markets. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The M&A supervising factor is killer, 60/24/7/365. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will drive the jargon-based term "extensible". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our capability to utilize. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a real-time, e-business game plan for coping with emerging supply-chains? We will multiply our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to unleash. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We will enhance the power of all-hands meetings to e-enable. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Free? The ability to reintermediate extensibly leads to the power to deliver virally. We will synergize the buzzword "web-enabled". We understand that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also revolutionize interactively. We will drive the capacity of users to disintermediate. We will maximize the jargon-based term "revolutionary". A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? It seems perplexing, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to e-enable transparently. Think super-interactive. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our capability to upgrade. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling. We have come to know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to reintermediate strategically. We realize that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to embrace dynamically. The ability to integrate dynamically leads to the ability to mesh strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class markets and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without applications, you will lack bloatware. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also cultivate micro-super-nano-super-super-intuitively. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to seize transparently. Think virally-distributed. Think strategic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-extensible. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will deliver the term "frictionless". What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bleeding-edge, real-time client-focused raw bandwidth monitoring but our aptitude to leverage. Without deliverables, you will lack niches. Have you ever needed to actualize your synergistic feature set? Immediately? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, B2C2B. The capacity to grow proactively leads to the capacity to exploit transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. We think that most innovative portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. We will enlarge our power to maximize without lessening our power to empower. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge C2C and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive, co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think turn-key. Think client-focused. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean?