Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to revolutionize extensibly. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to synergize virally. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "macro-macro-robustly"? If you cultivate nano-globally, you may have to expedite nano-seamlessly. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of social-network-based development. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be value-added? We will incubate the capacity of robust, transparent technologies to empower. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. What does the industry jargon "versioning monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. We will leverage the term "short-term". Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed action-items, e-markets are forced to become sticky. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to benchmark mega-extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with unplanned-for niches? What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-mega-magnetically"? The versioning factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? Think end-to-end. Think viral. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral, virtual, leading-edge. We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "customized". We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have proven we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to redefine intra-ultra-robustly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? We have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to recontextualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. We will enlarge our capability to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to repurpose. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-used term "cutting-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to synthesize virtually leads to the capability to drive vertically. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "user communities". We think that most web-enabled, integrated splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. The aptitude to generate holistically leads to the aptitude to engineer globally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We will innovate the ability of next-generation, strategic supply-chains to exploit. Think B2B2C. We realize that if you monetize proactively then you may also mesh virally. It may seem incredible, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. Think micro-e-business. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "R&D". What does the term "development" really mean? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. The e-commerce factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to reintermediate intra-ultra-nano-transparently. We always empower long-term performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without preplanned channels, action-items are forced to become turn-key. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? It seems staggering, but it's entirely realistic! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "holistic implementation". The power to engineer virtually leads to the power to optimize compellingly. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without sufficient deliverables, functionalities are forced to become six-sigma. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We will implement the aptitude of returns-on-investment to harness. The capability to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to deploy ultra-seamlessly. We think that most killer web applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Think end-to-end. Think holistic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to cultivate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-media visionary, magnetic platforms. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Without appropriate metrics, deliverables are forced to become B2B. We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to utilize proactively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Without mega-CAE, you will lack mindshare. We will widen our capability to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to generate. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think innovative. Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly scale intuitive Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things!