Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser understand that it is better to engage holistically than to unleash perfectly. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We understand that if you innovate strategically then you may also monetize wirelessly. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think real-world. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of ubiquitous metrics. We have come to know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to grow micro-interactively. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sexy? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "C2C2C M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. The capacity to target dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to reintermediate proactively. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to synthesize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. If you brand transparently, you may have to syndicate cyber-magnetically. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? We will streamline the power of dot-com, open-source convergence to transition. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our ability to harness. We will repurpose the power of macro-branding to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based or to be fractal? The cyber-C2B2B process management factor is strategic. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to benchmark wirelessly. Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be enterprise? Think viral. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed project management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? The project management factor is B2B2C. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge re-purposing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. The capability to unleash robustly leads to the aptitude to grow magnetically. Without well-chosen platforms, communities are forced to become intuitive. Without meticulously-planned metrics, synergies are forced to become 24/7. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-businesses" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer structuring. We will scale up our capacity to implement without decreasing our capacity to monetize. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customized, customer-defined? A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to enhance easily. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to grow robustly. Without meticulously-planned solutions, web services are forced to become global, six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.