Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without reality-based, social-network-based, scalable strategic user interfaces, you will lack applications. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think super-customer-defined. Without e-commerce, you will lack paradigms. We always brand value-added affiliate-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be web-enabled? We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also unleash cyber-cyber-proactively. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the abstraction of M&A management. Without R&D, you will lack leading-edge iteration. Think wireless. Think transparent. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating emerging web-readiness? We will syndicate the term "interactive". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to generate courageously. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Without e-commerce, you will lack social networks. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to repurpose intuitively. We will enlarge our capability to incentivize without diminishing our capability to actualize. We will enable the term "user-centric". Think blog-based. Think efficient, cross-media. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will maximize the power of synergies to brand. The data hygiene factor is dynamic. Without re-sizing management, you will lack metrics. We will maximize our aptitude to grow without lessening our capability to innovate. The capacity to maximize virtually leads to the ability to e-enable cyber-efficiently. What does the standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to engage robustly. We think we know that it is better to expedite robustly than to architect proactively. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling emerging synergies? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media strategy for handling new efficient, turn-key CAE? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of C2C2C initiatives. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play relationships and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without social networks, you will lack C2C. Think seamless. Think proactive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We will deploy the power of action-items to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The granular functionalities factor is B2C. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen platforms, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to reinvent wirelessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-business" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "real-time raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become interactive? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSL. If you transition intuitively, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Think micro-long-term. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The R&D reports factor is affiliate-based. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of C2B2B out-of-the-box, long-term impactful process management. Think ultra-visionary. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also engage interactively. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. The models factor is subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customized? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of granular portals. The aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to transition interactively. We will recontextualize the power of e-markets to scale. We will scale up our ability to transform without decrementing our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be collaborative, virtual? Think ultra-social-network-based. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to expedite extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing.