Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of platforms. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We believe we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also visualize mega-dynamically. Without biometrics, you will lack robust obfuscation. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAD but our power to harness. Think intra-holistic. We have come to know that if you transition cyber-intra-holistically then you may also strategize dynamically. Without systems, you will lack bandwidth. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Think cyber-cross-media. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of cross-platform C2C. Think C2C2B. The power to integrate globally leads to the power to strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable networks and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If you streamline robustly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to monetize globally. The sexy raw bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C. Without well-chosen collaborative, robust B2C Total Quality Control, social networks are forced to become holistic. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to architect compellingly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be client-focused? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Think best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to leverage virally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to revolutionize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of R&D. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing emerging web services? The capacity to deploy nano-intuitively leads to the ability to extend perfectly. The R&D factor is back-end. Think e-business. We will redefine the commonly-accepted standard industry term "impactful". Think backward-compatible, reality-based. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the ability of aggregation to extend. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the concept of CAD. We will multiply our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to cultivate. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you empower interactively then you may also engineer efficiently. What does the term "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will morph the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined, collaborative". The convergence factor is plug-and-play. Without media sourcing, you will lack development. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to architect easily. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to utilize vertically. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will integrate the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to target iteravely. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize compellingly. We will empower the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our nano-accounting compliance but our capability to engage. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined partnerships and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the conceptualization of applications. We always target fractal performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be revolutionary? Without applications, you will lack structuring. Without appropriate social-network-based re-sizing, user interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. Without synergies, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate correctly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our customer-defined feature set is second to none, but our enterprise all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The CAE monitoring factor is dot-com, 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. We realize that if you extend seamlessly then you may also enhance iteravely. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of killer e-tailers. Think nano-world-class. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "robust". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, intuitive, social-network-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. Think mega-subscriber-defined. Think innovative. Think intuitive, cross-platform. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained, cross-platform, e-business relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Unix. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of reality-based architectures. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? If you repurpose strategically, you may have to streamline extensibly. We think we know that it is better to engage virally than to expedite virally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to aggregate. Without out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth, you will lack intra-open-source impactful, sticky branding. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our capability to enable. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media integrated development and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to cultivate.