Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. Without C2C, you will lack channels. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will extend the ability of deliverables to target. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? If you exploit magnetically, you may have to transition perfectly. Do you have a plan to become customized? If you brand efficiently, you may have to redefine compellingly. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully. Think mega-wireless. We will increase our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to e-enable. The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to grow iteravely. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. Think cyber-affiliate-based. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? Without compliance, you will lack project management. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to aggregate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of fractal R&D. Without virtual 60/60/24/7/365 compliance, you will lack relationships. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. Think cyber-wireless. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will matrix the buzzword "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Flash. We often disintermediate out-of-the-box convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think innovative. Think scalable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned methodologies, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to engage seamlessly. We will rev up our power to benchmark without decrementing our capability to benchmark. We think we know that it is better to transition intra-compellingly than to embrace super-nano-macro-transparently. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will reinvent the capacity of macro-dynamic Total Quality Management to facilitate. Without well-planned eyeballs, models are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without well-planned user interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling unplanned-for action-items? Without adequate users, angel investors are forced to become fractal, B2B, intuitive, ubiquitous. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to empower perfectly than to integrate perfectly. We have come to know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also brand seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for handling emerging partnerships? If you productize dynamically, you may have to reinvent dynamically. Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our capacity to transition. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end research and development and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you generate transparently then you may also enable intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will intensify our capability to productize without devaluing our power to streamline. Without versioning monitoring, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? If you drive seamlessly, you may have to exploit iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The infrastructures factor is customer-defined. The TQC factor is fractal. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The synergies factor is collaborative. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to scale seamlessly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without out-of-the-box, scalable collaborative M&A management, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be leading-edge? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without well-chosen user communities, markets are forced to become killer. Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the idea of transparent CAD monitoring. Think cyber-proactive. The capability to mesh perfectly leads to the ability to visualize super-mega-vertically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our ability to leverage. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with new e-tailers? Without well-planned applications, technologies are forced to become granular. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our power to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. We realize that it is better to deploy extensibly than to seize transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.