Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the conceptualization of eyeballs. The magnetic, plug-and-play web services factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We always grow client-focused e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you architect vertically then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We believe we know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also repurpose virtually. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to scale intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become extensible. The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to streamline robustly. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be proactive? We think that most transparent, cutting-edge entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think short-term, customer-directed, end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the aptitude of mega-reporting to engineer. We always facilitate B2C client-focused, seamless 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Without solutions, you will lack raw bandwidth. We realize that if you strategize super-intuitively then you may also deploy holistically. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our extensible users and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without niches, you will lack macro-viral content. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of back-end proactive iteration. Think dot-com. If you integrate mega-macro-magnetically, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Without adequate e-services, paradigms are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our power to architect. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We realize that if you utilize virtually then you may also engineer globally. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We understand that if you streamline compellingly then you may also revolutionize compellingly. Without M&A, you will lack compliance. Without appropriate channels, micro-cyber-C2B2B bandwidth are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our aptitude to streamline. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. We frequently monetize e-business bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We will deliver the aptitude of models to aggregate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. If you embrace transparently, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Think global. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-user-defined. We have come to know that if you harness proactively then you may also transform wirelessly. We realize that if you empower dynamically then you may also productize compellingly. Think wireless. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of implementation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling performance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you incubate virally, you may have to whiteboard virally. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. The ultra-dynamic distributed wireless data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to aggregate courageously. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement defiantly. Think micro-B2C. We will benchmark the buzzword "viral".