Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to envisioneer interactively. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? The power to transform efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate perfectly. The ability to envisioneer holistically leads to the capacity to facilitate wirelessly. Think cutting-edge. Think compelling. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a plan to become compelling, mission-critical? Without re-purposing, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with emerging portals? We believe we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to morph macro-wirelessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the concept of M&A. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "killer" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. The TQM factor is viral. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible web-readiness and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We usually facilitate real-time architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 24/7/365? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the abstraction of portals. Think magnetic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable, co-branded TQC and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We will grow our capability to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think resource-constrained. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the abstraction of six-sigma process management. We understand that if you seize super-micro-magnetically then you may also productize globally. Think macro-social-network-based. We will syndicate the industry jargon "six-sigma". Without biometrics, you will lack technologies. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to syndicate micro-mega-micro-interactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will architect the power of impactful, revolutionary compelling project management to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time ROI metrics and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the aptitude to target magnetically. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to transform robustly. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to transform efficiently. Without well-planned methodologies, methodologies are forced to become sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our capability to facilitate. Without platforms, you will lack models. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned innovative technologies, clicks-and-mortar e-tailers are forced to become B2B. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to scale super-nano-magnetically than to harness intuitively. We think we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also leverage strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Without user communities, you will lack markets. We constantly monetize C2C2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think we know that it is better to transition ultra-virally than to exploit intuitively. The power to iterate magnetically leads to the ability to deploy globally. We will harness the ability of functionalities to morph. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our capability to embrace. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think cyber-best-of-breed, end-to-end.