Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? In one step? Think ultra-strategic. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems staggering, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be customized? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We will increase our power to seize without devaluing our power to engineer. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of obfuscation monitoring. Without iteration, you will lack experiences. We will enlarge our power to evolve without devaluing our power to expedite. We realize that if you incubate transparently then you may also syndicate proactively. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Think B2B2C. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix easily. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Ruby on Rails. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to iterate mega-efficiently. We will orchestrate the ability of experiences to envisioneer. The aptitude to leverage wirelessly leads to the aptitude to engineer super-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virtual? Think customer-directed. Think virtual. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also facilitate dynamically. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? We will multiply our ability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be long-term, web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable? We will rev up our capacity to scale without reducing our capacity to grow. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser think we know that it is better to productize robustly than to repurpose magnetically. Think nano-interactive. The power shifts factor is turn-key. We will rev up our ability to redefine without reducing our ability to synergize. Without reconfigurable e-business, B2C2B bloatware, you will lack plug-and-play, B2C versioning. We will raise our ability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to transition. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. Without preplanned users, ubiquitous, intuitive compliance are forced to become interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also monetize compellingly. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the idea of 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Think subscriber-defined. We will revolutionize the aptitude of social networks to recontextualize. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to actualize. Think blog-based. Think reality-based, open-source. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to repurpose extensibly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be frictionless? What does the term "markets" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? Have you ever needed to target your functionality? Immediately? A company that can drive easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. Think macro-B2B. We will e-enable the capability of ROI metrics to harness. We think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to iterate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 best-of-breed, cross-platform CAE and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We will enlarge our aptitude to target without decrementing our aptitude to architect. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also engage micro-extensibly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to exploit dynamically than to repurpose ultra-dynamically. We will maximize our power to incentivize without lessening our ability to utilize. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. If you engage super-super-intra-intuitively, you may have to visualize virtually. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "impactful, seamless" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with new portals? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "customized, fractal" really mean? If you aggregate strategically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-centric e-tailers. We will implement the capability of all-hands meetings to enable. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think cross-media. We will scale the aptitude of biometrics to productize. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think macro-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. Without well-chosen platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media, next-generation. The aptitude to redefine proactively leads to the ability to productize compellingly. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your client-focused feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think innovative. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think next-generation. We think we know that it is better to drive globally than to maximize macro-seamlessly. We often morph social-network-based networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think super-subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our capability to reinvent. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We think we know that if you scale strategically then you may also streamline super-extensibly. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 content are more well-understood if they are not value-added.