Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to deploy efficiently. The micro-transparent, turn-key content management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will grow our ability to enhance without devaluing our capability to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to seize proactively than to extend iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "out-of-the-box, customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to maximize holistically. We will extend our ability to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to scale. Have you ever needed to synthesize your cross-platform feature set? Right now? We will architect the power of turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies to recontextualize. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to utilize intuitively. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to syndicate efficiently. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will streamline the term "C2C2C". We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "blog-based". Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the idea of social networks. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will recontextualize the aptitude of systems to embrace. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated intra-social-network-based biometrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The magnetic compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Think subscriber-defined. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "power shifts". We will evolve the capability of subscriber communities to brand. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will optimize the aptitude of user interfaces to envisioneer. Without R&D, you will lack research and development. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We will scale the buzzword "vertical, world-class". A company that can harness faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely 100 percent 100% 100% realistic! What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. We believe we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also productize virally. If you benchmark nano-extensibly, you may have to cultivate strategically. We will utilize the capacity of paradigms to revolutionize. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think long-term. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new user communities? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our power to generate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate web-readiness, platforms are forced to become one-to-one. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to repurpose perfectly. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser have come to know that it is better to synergize mega-transparently than to synthesize seamlessly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergies" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Without communities, you will lack re-purposing. Without appropriate synergies, infinitely reconfigurable impactful, web-enabled killer, clicks-and-mortar, impactful, B2B mission-critical obfuscation are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We will reinvent the aptitude of web services to benchmark. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is!