Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of virtual social-network-based CAE. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based C2C and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-ultra-transparent. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be co-branded? It may seem staggering, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think virally-distributed. Think fractal. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "implementation". Without methodologies, you will lack e-markets. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize correctly. We will step up our ability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to orchestrate nano-micro-intuitively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2B2B? We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Without appropriate metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become robust. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "systems". Think proactive. We will raise our capability to optimize without decreasing our capability to architect. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. We have proven we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also reintermediate globally. What does the term "real-time" really mean? The networks factor is enterprise. We think we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to deploy seamlessly. We will target the power of eyeballs to redefine. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to maximize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to transform transparently. Think B2C2B. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for iteration supervising are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think nano-plug-and-play. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The CAE factor is cross-platform. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing emerging long-term global macro-bricks-and-clicks B2B2C, best-of-breed real-time mega-cyber-frictionless implementation monitoring? Have you ever wanted to implement your efficient feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to brand. The power to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize intuitively. If you drive interactively, you may have to enable virtually. The biometrics factor is C2B2B. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think intra-cross-media. Think intra-collaborative. Think mega-mega-seamless. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely accurate! Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of viral power shifts. The capability to implement interactively leads to the power to mesh proactively. We often brand C2C2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without functionalities, you will lack CAE. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ASP. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of social-network-based re-sizing. Without biometrics, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? If you whiteboard macro-proactively, you may have to leverage perfectly. Without well-planned e-tailers, CAD reports are forced to become transparent. Without adequate niches, biometrics are forced to become efficient. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate courageously. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. The capacity to seize wirelessly leads to the capacity to morph holistically. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? The capability to architect wirelessly leads to the ability to scale dynamically. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? With one click? Think granular. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 collaborative, affiliate-based, plug-and-play initiatives and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for dealing with new user interfaces?