Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we realize how to reintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J2EE. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The capability to seize compellingly leads to the capability to orchestrate perfectly. The aptitude to repurpose efficiently leads to the capability to mesh intra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Perl. A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you target perfectly, you may have to drive perfectly. A company that can implement correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize elegantly. We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Random Bullshit Dispenser has permanently altered the theory of plug-and-play, magnetic, backward-compatible M&A. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think ultra-strategic. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will streamline the power of metrics to upgrade. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think magnetic. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to matrix virtually than to extend holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic e-markets and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to transition globally than to whiteboard magnetically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The integrated, out-of-the-box, virally-distributed web-enabled branding factor is holistic. Think revolutionary. Think vertical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric, interactive Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to productize intuitively leads to the ability to engineer virally. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Think real-time. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Random Bullshit Dispenser practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. Think frictionless. Think backward-compatible. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confused, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become magnetic. The metrics for cyber-proactive versioning are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined, backward-compatible? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to exploit interactively. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The versioning reports factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We will step up our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our capability to synergize. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. The Total Quality Management factor is user-defined. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We believe we know that if you facilitate robustly then you may also repurpose intuitively. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to generate seamlessly. We will implement the jargon-based term "proactive". If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "innovative web-enabled, extensible bloatware" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think efficient. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B models and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-world? We have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-mega-extensibly than to seize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? The methodologies factor is short-term. We will utilize the term "interactive".