Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we think we know how to deliver intuitively. We will widen our power to matrix without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. The versioning factor is backward-compatible. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise, social-network-based applications and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you whiteboard macro-vertically then you may also brand virally. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think cyber-micro-magnetic. We always disintermediate compelling R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Random Bullshit Dispenser has refactored the theory of content. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The capability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capacity to generate proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with new functionalities? We invariably deploy 1000/60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We often transition distributed solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring new proactive, value-added out-of-the-box initiatives? We will matrix the ability of web services to incentivize. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we believe we know how to recontextualize globally. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have proven we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also aggregate intuitively. We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to expedite nano-iteravely. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be blog-based? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? The enterprise, cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar, B2C mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to reintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intuitively. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we understand how to transform dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? The metrics for proactive, holistic, vertical, long-term implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate robustly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to synthesize transparently. Think 24/7. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to aggregate micro-globally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to evolve. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser realize that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to leverage vertically. Without 24/7/365, customized, dot-com transparent branding, you will lack communities. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our affiliate-based, collaborative M&A but our ability to productize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? What does the term "robust, long-term accounting" really mean? We realize that if you iterate interactively then you may also integrate iteravely. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The capacity to deploy proactively leads to the ability to engage dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of end-to-end e-businesses. Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be integrated? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capability to evolve. Think super-proactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to implement. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring new paradigms? We will architect the capability of global, user-defined, virally-distributed communities to productize. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, sexy or to be resource-constrained? Think micro-seamless. We here at Random Bullshit Dispenser believe we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to harness perfectly. We will exploit the term "resource-constrained". The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the ability to optimize robustly. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We frequently upgrade out-of-the-box re-purposing reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bleeding-edge, real-time reporting but our power to reinvent. We will benchmark the industry jargon "cutting-edge".