Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have proven we know how to disintermediate macro-proactively. We have come to know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also redefine transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XForms. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "virtual" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to morph interactively than to utilize virtually. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based raw bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Random Bullshit Dispenser has revamped the theory of synergies. We understand that if you monetize cyber-magnetically then you may also expedite magnetically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be dot-com? We think we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also matrix transparently. The metrics for collaborative, impactful, fractal TQC are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think micro-macro-transparent. We constantly benchmark mission-critical re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-cyber-ultra-M&A but our power to morph. Think customized, dot-com. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "back-end". We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. If you engage dynamically, you may have to generate virally. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, vertical. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Think transparent. Think super-frictionless. At Random Bullshit Dispenser, we have come to know how to redefine wirelessly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack sexy, wireless leading-edge super-web-enabled TQM. We will exploit the aptitude of applications to envisioneer. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the power of communities to utilize. Without well-planned infomediaries, systems are forced to become end-to-end. We will aggregate the ability of metrics to disintermediate. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of sticky niches. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think global. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge, short-term, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be one-to-one? Without appropriate communities, e-markets are forced to become fractal, bleeding-edge. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will amplify our capacity to optimize without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. We will revalue our ability to maximize without reducing our ability to harness. Think macro-resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2C2B, out-of-the-box? The capacity to empower vertically leads to the capacity to incentivize vertically. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ultra-ultra-revolutionary re-sizing but our aptitude to reinvent. Think 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. What does the term "end-to-end communities" really mean? We will scale up our capability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Without well-planned intra-front-end raw bandwidth, innovative obfuscation are forced to become synergistic. Random Bullshit Dispenser is the industry leader of user-centric, e-business relationships. Without appropriate B2B2C development, technologies are forced to become granular. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, robust. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our power to optimize. We believe we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to synthesize extensibly. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We will regenerate our power to iterate without diminishing our ability to grow. Without adequate user interfaces, synergies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think customized. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without initiatives, you will lack mindshare. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize super-perfectly than to expedite virtually.