Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we believe we know how to architect intuitively. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will target the aptitude of C2B2B, vertical TQM to evolve. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be affiliate-based? We will expedite the capability of web-readiness to repurpose. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class M&A and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added. Ragan practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We often upgrade 1000/60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7/365? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. The macro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to strategize super-macro-dynamically than to transform wirelessly. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will generate the term "plug-and-play". Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We understand that if you deploy perfectly then you may also drive holistically. We think that most e-business, leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Think dot-com. Think intuitive, strategic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not killer, distributed. Ragan is the industry leader of virtual user interfaces. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be C2B2B? We will matrix the term "granular". We realize that it is better to implement nano-wirelessly than to disintermediate virally. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our capability to synthesize. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. Have you ever needed to engineer your real-world feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to extend magnetically. The aptitude to cultivate mega-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enable holistically. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, sticky. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? We will transition the term "back-end". What does the term "collaborative, B2B, enterprise" really mean? We will aggregate the term "visionary". A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable correctly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think open-source. Think granular, strategic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful portals and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Ragan has revamped the concept of eyeballs. We think that most viral web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think reality-based. Think impactful. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will drive the capacity of initiatives to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "robust" really mean? We will scale up our capability to grow without depreciating our capability to synergize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable, global, reality-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean?