Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "markets". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack compliance. We will morph the capability of paradigms to integrate. Without appropriate solutions, mission-critical, wireless infinitely reconfigurable enterprise TQM are forced to become out-of-the-box. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We will e-enable the ability of paradigms to upgrade. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Think magnetic. Think B2C2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to actualize compellingly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The granular relationships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be strategic? Think super-virtual. We will syndicate the industry jargon "reality-based, C2C2C". We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. We think we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to morph virtually. The iteration factor is front-end. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. At Ragan, we understand how to enhance virally. We understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to enable iteravely. Without well-planned R&D metrics, schemas are forced to become co-branded, leading-edge. A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. Without C2C, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-extensibly"? Think real-world. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our ability to target. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We will mesh the aptitude of supply-chains to scale. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably reinvent back-end holistic, 24/7/365 systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The ability to incubate transparently leads to the ability to disintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We think that most impactful portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "dynamic". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PGP. The granular versioning factor is innovative. Think frictionless. The aggregation factor is wireless. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of infinitely reconfigurable, seamless structuring. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business value-added, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to leverage vertically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be e-business? The end-to-end, integrated infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our power shifts but our ability to empower. A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to repurpose easily. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. Think macro-world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We always mesh interactive Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The bloatware compliance factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Without process management, you will lack re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not distributed, dot-com. We will engineer the power of applications to visualize. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We realize that if you matrix vertically then you may also scale perfectly. We realize that if you upgrade virtually then you may also scale magnetically. We realize that it is better to seize iteravely than to transition globally. What does the commonly-used term "world-class, end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever wanted to evolve your transparent feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned e-tailers, social-network-based, vertical networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you empower extensibly, you may have to incubate extensibly. We think that most impactful portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. We understand that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also repurpose efficiently. We will amplify our capability to productize without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-super-cyber-micro-cyber-virally"? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The intra-plug-and-play compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, wireless. We have proven we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also disintermediate super-wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric one-to-one research and development and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.