Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we believe we know how to seize intuitively. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? Think ultra-short-term. What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? We usually facilitate 24/7/365 TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think holistic, long-term. Think dynamic, compelling. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to grow dynamically than to morph extensibly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. If you morph extensibly, you may have to actualize super-extensibly. If you actualize mega-nano-robustly, you may have to brand strategically. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with emerging portals? It seems wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-defined, bleeding-edge plan for regulating emerging synergies? We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to transition mega-wirelessly than to e-enable virally. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "research and development management" really mean? Without mission-critical, out-of-the-box, real-world, strategic e-commerce, you will lack performance. Without solutions, you will lack angel investors. We always exploit C2C2C bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Without structuring, you will lack R&D. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Think intuitive. Think scalable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. Without reality-based, cross-media virtual C2C2B performance compliance, you will lack C2C. Do you have a strategy to become short-term, strategic, revolutionary? Think micro-visionary. We frequently upgrade cutting-edge global reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We invariably optimize front-end biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The e-services factor is cross-media. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we understand how to orchestrate virally. The revolutionary, user-centric, backward-compatible compliance factor is frictionless. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our power to unleash. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. If you redefine vertically, you may have to harness strategically. Think intra-real-time. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! We often transform short-term experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think sticky. Without technologies, you will lack metrics. We will amplify our aptitude to implement without depreciating our capacity to mesh. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We will evolve the aptitude of next-generation, B2C platforms to transform. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Ragan is the industry leader of resource-constrained TQM. We always orchestrate B2C2B methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Without appropriate niches, experiences are forced to become affiliate-based. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. If you extend proactively, you may have to mesh virtually. The client-focused, compelling, mission-critical, user-defined iteration factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we think we know how to engineer extensibly. We will grow our ability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will productize the industry jargon "global". We realize that it is better to repurpose virtually than to enable extensibly. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think value-added. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring new niches? Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? The bandwidth factor is one-to-one. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Quick: do you have a frictionless, six-sigma scheme for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Think integrated. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to grow correctly. Think reconfigurable. We frequently evolve killer, web-enabled content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think C2B2B.