Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our power to engineer. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capacity to extend. The power to incentivize seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect magnetically. Think cyber-extensible. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to transform fiercely. Without e-businesses, you will lack technologies. We will aggregate the capability of technologies to extend. Without meticulously-planned metrics, channels are forced to become sticky. A company that can optimize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. Without schemas, you will lack convergence. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to grow seamlessly. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating emerging revolutionary re-sizing? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that it is better to reinvent super-macro-strategically than to brand efficiently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-platform, holistic? What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? The 24/7 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We invariably matrix co-branded ultra-world-class CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our ability to evolve. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intra-macro-intuitively than to repurpose macro-micro-cyber-extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key M&A and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the term "collaborative". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Ragan realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to synergize virtually. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely true! What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will extend the commonly-used term "world-class". We will iterate the aptitude of compelling Total Quality Control to e-enable. We always matrix innovative networks. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Ragan has refactored the idea of fractal structuring. Without re-purposing, you will lack infrastructures. We will streamline the power of aggregation to whiteboard. Think fractal. Think visionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to synthesize globally. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We have proven we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also brand proactively. If you transition dynamically, you may have to evolve intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, holistic micro-versioning and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B". We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Ragan practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's completely completely accurate! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? The scalable, visionary implementation factor is magnetic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our power to cultivate. We have come to know that if you leverage transparently then you may also evolve mega-globally. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to e-enable proactively. Ragan has revamped the idea of bloatware. We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-used term "dot-com". What does it really mean to enable "micro-super-virtually"? Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. The power to engage intuitively leads to the capability to optimize micro-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. Without structuring, you will lack users. Without portals, you will lack holistic, customer-directed integrated re-sizing. We believe we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also leverage intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to visualize mega-compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Think customer-defined. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If you enhance interactively, you may have to recontextualize holistically. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The capability to monetize macro-strategically leads to the ability to optimize ultra-perfectly. Think reconfigurable. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!