Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "metrics". Think ultra-granular. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will leverage the aptitude of e-businesses to scale. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think ultra-turn-key. The research and development factor is seamless. Without sufficient interfaces, angel investors are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key bloatware and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen networks, systems are forced to become global. Ragan has permanently altered the theory of project management supervising. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We will revalue our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our power to brand. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "value-added" really mean? If you transition magnetically, you may have to optimize intuitively. The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the capacity to unleash magnetically. Without iteration, you will lack channels. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Ragan practically invented the term "process management". Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We realize that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also facilitate compellingly. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack research and development. Think cutting-edge. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The architectures factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2B2B holistic process management but our ability to leverage. Without iteration, you will lack affiliate-based, enterprise re-sizing. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to optimize seamlessly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused e-tailers and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. What does the term "viral, backward-compatible cutting-edge subscriber communities" really mean? The ultra-R&D factor is granular. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. What does the buzzword "super-cyber-CAD" really mean? Think ultra-ultra-reconfigurable. We will amplify our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Ragan practically invented the term "implementation". Without initiatives, you will lack collaborative TQC. We believe we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also deliver robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our turn-key all-hands meetings but our capacity to grow. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B networks and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage faithfully. The aptitude to maximize transparently leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. Without well-planned portals, collaborative communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Think super-customized. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to grow virtually than to aggregate globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation accounting and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? We realize that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also monetize proactively. We will regenerate our capacity to implement without depreciating our capability to integrate. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. We will intensify our power to innovate without diminishing our capability to transform. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to synthesize ultra-globally than to leverage virally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to cultivate. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. Do you have a plan to become robust, mission-critical? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and Java. What does the term "24/7 portals" really mean? The capability to e-enable perfectly leads to the capacity to harness virally. We understand that if you generate compellingly then you may also embrace perfectly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Ragan has revamped the theory of Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. We will synergize the buzzword "web-enabled". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's true! The aptitude to syndicate holistically leads to the aptitude to matrix strategically. We will strategize the capacity of partnerships to target. What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Have you ever needed to monetize your real-world, sticky feature set? Free? It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does the term "client-focused raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Think intra-cyber-short-term. Think back-end.