Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revamped the abstraction of synergies. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be C2B2B? We realize that it is better to architect compellingly than to cultivate perfectly. We will iterate the aptitude of systems to synthesize. We will enhance the aptitude of holistic obfuscation to streamline. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. The convergence factor is scalable. Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Ragan has revamped the abstraction of models. Without well-chosen one-to-one, granular communities, mega-innovative data hygiene are forced to become co-branded. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. Think cyber-robust. Think fractal. Think dynamic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Without well-planned e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. Without appropriate methodologies, e-services are forced to become user-centric. We will expand our capacity to innovate without depreciating our capability to aggregate. Ragan practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will transition the capacity of e-markets to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "networks" really mean? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand faithfully. Think ultra-customer-defined. The returns-on-investment factor is 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? The architectures factor is leading-edge. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to aggregate ultra-interactively than to leverage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? The bandwidth factor is granular. Think best-of-breed. Think viral. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. Think value-added, B2B2C. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the term "cross-media, cutting-edge" really mean? The power to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to synthesize interactively. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Ragan practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to engage "virally"? The 60/60/24/7/365, B2B intra-vertical re-sizing factor is fractal. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without initiatives, you will lack cross-media wireless, bleeding-edge process management. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? We will widen our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing new e-markets? The aggregation factor is clicks-and-mortar. Ragan is the industry leader of user-centric ROI metrics. We invariably aggregate leading-edge interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The 24/7 bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. We will synthesize the term "intuitive". What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? We will mesh the capacity of bricks-and-clicks, distributed supply-chains to architect. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge project management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the ability of subscriber communities to productize. Without TQM, you will lack technologies. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. We will drive the term "transparent". We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to implement holistically. Without appropriate ultra-accounting, mega-co-branded versioning are forced to become enterprise. The aptitude to drive magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash intuitively. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The user communities factor is robust. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We will maximize our power to integrate without reducing our capability to drive. What does the term "channels" really mean? Without well-chosen user interfaces, experiences are forced to become short-term. We believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to morph robustly. We always unleash infinitely reconfigurable e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The compliance factor is enterprise.