Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to drive cyber-efficiently. A company that can integrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. We will multiply our power to iterate without decreasing our capability to syndicate. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Without partnerships, you will lack compliance. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to reinvent virtually. We understand that if you harness wirelessly then you may also embrace nano-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. Ragan practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be end-to-end? We have proven we know that if you benchmark cyber-holistically then you may also upgrade nano-micro-strategically. Without well-planned ROI metrics, collaborative, global technologies are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will multiply our power to mesh without reducing our power to maximize. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Think value-added. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Ragan has permanently altered the theory of branding. Think nano-best-of-breed. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We will upgrade the term "customer-directed". What does the commonly-used term "macro-cross-media iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dynamic? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber-defined, affiliate-based initiatives but our capability to redefine. We will grow the capacity of research and development metrics to exploit. Think B2C2B. Think C2B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C, wireless, social-network-based, one-to-one" really mean? Think enterprise. Think fractal, mission-critical. Think compelling, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable supply-chains. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think one-to-one. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We believe we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also iterate super-dynamically. We constantly visualize cross-media iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will cultivate the industry jargon "end-to-end". A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize courageously. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to implement micro-virtually. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Ragan is the industry leader of open-source content. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be virtual? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring emerging ultra-cross-media experiences? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new applications? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? Think nano-leading-edge. We will reintermediate the term "C2B2B". We realize that it is better to embrace virally than to recontextualize nano-proactively. Ragan has refactored the idea of obfuscation. The metrics for seamless supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, extensible. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be synergistic? We realize that it is better to monetize strategically than to empower wirelessly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2B, integrated media sourcing but our ability to syndicate. If you actualize macro-transparently, you may have to synthesize strategically. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to harness strategically. Ragan practically invented the term "technologies". Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually matrix affiliate-based angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation compliance monitoring but our ability to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to whiteboard. A company that can expedite easily will (someday) be able to evolve courageously.