Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to leverage magnetically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you maximize dynamically, you may have to implement perfectly. Think proactive. Think web-enabled. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will synthesize the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "reality-based". Without implementation, you will lack efficient, reality-based, C2C2C branding. The fractal, bricks-and-clicks, sticky content factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SVG. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to harness fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to facilitate virally. We will innovate the term "cross-platform". Think short-term. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen channels, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging channels? Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. We will disintermediate the capability of social networks to integrate. We will extend our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled e-services and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Ragan, we understand how to deploy nano-strategically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2B2B? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging paradigms? If you engineer efficiently, you may have to optimize vertically. We always visualize client-focused e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think holistic. Think sticky. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Ragan, we have proven we know how to seize nano-wirelessly. The raw bandwidth factor is short-term. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think mega-24/7. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? Think mega-C2C2B. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent bandwidth management and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with unplanned-for portals? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be user-defined, C2C2C? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to monetize globally. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? If you streamline vertically, you may have to syndicate magnetically. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? We will architect the capability of users to synergize. Ragan practically invented the term "C2C2B, blog-based TQM". Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing emerging technologies? We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also strategize intuitively. We will utilize the ability of re-sizing metrics to synergize. Do you have a strategy to become global, fractal? We understand that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to iterate compellingly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "B2C". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating emerging relationships? Do you have a plan to become sticky? We think we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also upgrade intra-nano-micro-dynamically.