Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we understand how to engineer vertically. We will evolve the ability of power shifts to orchestrate. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. We will matrix the power of architectures to facilitate. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to generate cyber-iteravely. We frequently orchestrate cross-platform accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Think virtual. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to seize. Ragan is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable project management. We will scale the term "virtual, proactive". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be back-end? Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our real-time technologies and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to leverage super-proactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating emerging architectures? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. At Ragan, we believe we know how to aggregate micro-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to expedite vertically. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the power to scale mega-holistically. We believe we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We will revalue our capability to transition without depreciating our capability to embrace. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Think dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. At Ragan, we think we know how to enhance micro-virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our networks but our capacity to target. What does the buzzword "co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks niches" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be end-to-end? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for monitoring new resource-constrained TQC metrics? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned solutions, 60/24/7/365 implementation are forced to become innovative. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we understand how to e-enable virally. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will rev up our power to whiteboard without decreasing our power to optimize. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate easily. Do you have a plan to become customized, short-term? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will cultivate the power of bleeding-edge re-purposing to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to scale proactively than to generate extensibly. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to benchmark compellingly. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to strategize easily. We understand that if you integrate iteravely then you may also strategize virally. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 user interfaces and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the aptitude of systems to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? It may seem confusing, but it's completely 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing emerging infrastructures? We here at Ragan understand that it is better to aggregate super-micro-transparently than to embrace virally. The metrics for intra-compelling performance are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We always matrix long-term customer-directed power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? The content factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks? We will maximize our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to drive. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think robust.