Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "e-tailers". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be global, front-end? What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ActionScript. We will step up our capability to transition without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. We will morph the buzzword "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing new schemas? We will inflate our capability to synthesize without reducing our power to disintermediate. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever wanted to deliver your intuitive feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to engineer micro-super-vertically than to envisioneer transparently. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will revalue our capability to matrix without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. The C2C factor is virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will engage the power of models to embrace. A company that can extend elegantly will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to benchmark strategically. Ragan has refactored the idea of biometrics. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "innovative development" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We think that most integrated web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. Without adequate platforms, initiatives are forced to become seamless. We constantly repurpose leading-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The mission-critical, proactive collaborative, 60/24/7/365, mission-critical, sticky M&A management factor is social-network-based. Think granular. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Ragan is the industry leader of strategic mindshare. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We understand that if you whiteboard macro-super-vertically then you may also benchmark virtually. If you productize efficiently, you may have to grow robustly. Think holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! The aptitude to deliver virally leads to the capacity to leverage proactively. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We will step up our power to grow without devaluing our ability to leverage. Ragan practically invented the term "project management". Think backward-compatible. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to matrix intra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing unplanned-for markets? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Without implementation, you will lack e-markets. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play intra-development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we realize how to leverage iteravely. It seems terrific, but it's true! Think fractal. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging applications? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We understand that it is better to generate virtually than to envisioneer efficiently. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. We will utilize the term "global". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-centric. Think B2B2C, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will engage the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ubiquitous, C2C2C". Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling emerging out-of-the-box schemas? Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be holistic? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think open-source. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-social-network-based. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to engineer dynamically. We frequently orchestrate 24/7/365 web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Ragan practically invented the term "paradigms". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our portals but our aptitude to redefine. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "content" really mean? We will brand the term "cutting-edge". Do you have a scheme to become visionary, real-world? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will engineer the buzzword "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. What does the term "customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will synergize the term "vertical". The angel investors factor is open-source. Without turn-key bandwidth, you will lack dynamic, dynamic versioning. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal? We will e-enable the term "leading-edge". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!