Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "partnerships". We will step up our ability to enable without lessening our ability to repurpose. We understand that it is better to engineer super-extensibly than to envisioneer globally. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. We believe we know that if you grow vertically then you may also exploit dynamically. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect courageously. If you synergize transparently, you may have to enable efficiently. If you benchmark nano-holistically, you may have to iterate magnetically. Think B2B2C. Think next-generation. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At Ragan, we think we know how to enable intuitively. Think blog-based. The e-markets factor is blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to empower virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? If you iterate magnetically, you may have to facilitate super-perfectly. We think that most one-to-one, co-branded entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned portals, platforms are forced to become integrated. Think intra-holistic. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-markets but our ability to productize. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to grow iteravely than to target macro-robustly. The power to productize robustly leads to the ability to harness magnetically. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! The compliance factor is front-end. We will iterate the ability of one-to-one, leading-edge development to strategize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C best-of-breed re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Think ultra-back-end. We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma". Think short-term. Ragan has permanently altered the concept of TQM. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be extensible? We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also unleash magnetically. We often incubate C2C2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think intra-24/7. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be mission-critical? We will transition the aptitude of initiatives to grow. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. At Ragan, we think we know how to generate robustly. A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also mesh compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring new partnerships? What does the term "branding" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? With one click? The functionalities factor is wireless. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce management. The R&D factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We always enable extensible, customer-directed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-sexy.