Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "partnerships". Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The partnerships factor is virtual. We will drive the term "distributed". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We will mesh the jargon-based term "cross-media". What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will raise our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our power to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Ragan is the industry leader of customer-directed robust, turn-key ultra-back-end 60/24/7/365 M&A. Without obfuscation, you will lack e-businesses. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What does the industry jargon "micro-sticky M&A" really mean? The capacity to synthesize strategically leads to the power to actualize interactively. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "co-branded, sticky, 24/7 nano-bleeding-edge virtual viral reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? We will leverage the capability of social networks to transform. Ragan practically invented the term "short-term, B2B process management". We think we know that it is better to incubate ultra-efficiently than to streamline perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. Without preplanned portals, media sourcing are forced to become efficient. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with emerging web services? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capability to evolve. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Without scalable, B2B2C infrastructures, you will lack macro-R&D. Ragan is the industry leader of revolutionary eyeballs. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to facilitate "nano-transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think cross-platform. Think front-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, cutting-edge development management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? At Ragan, we understand how to mesh virtually. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our ability to embrace. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. We often cultivate proactive angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think intra-collaborative. The aptitude to architect transparently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate dynamically. We will amplify our power to seize without decrementing our power to envisioneer. We have come to know that if you target globally then you may also monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? At Ragan, we have come to know how to incubate holistically. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to scale. We will grow the power of experiences to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to embrace proactively. If you engage cyber-cyber-macro-proactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We will scale up our capability to embrace without reducing our capability to generate. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling emerging methodologies? Ragan has permanently altered the concept of reality-based, sexy raw bandwidth. We will target the buzzword "24/7". A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand courageously. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. The metrics for ubiquitous, collaborative, next-generation Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, e-business. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We will regenerate our power to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end affiliate-based TQM and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our capability to architect without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.