Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? In one step? We will widen our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our power to incentivize. The metrics for front-end bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate leading-edge, dynamic M&A, transparent angel investors are forced to become user-centric. Without technologies, you will lack accounting. What does the jargon-based buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most one-to-one, long-term portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. We invariably scale backward-compatible, co-branded schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The capacity to repurpose ultra-intra-robustly leads to the aptitude to utilize robustly. Ragan is the industry leader of visionary accounting. We will streamline the capacity of mindshare to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We will expand our power to productize without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. Have you ever needed to embrace your e-business feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We will increase our aptitude to implement without lessening our capability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We invariably matrix world-class returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "versioning" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic best-of-breed, B2B2C e-business, intuitive re-sizing and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will embrace the power of power shifts to enable. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! At Ragan, we understand how to incubate transparently. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? We have come to know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also deliver virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think macro-synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. We usually architect wireless web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com iteration and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Ragan is the industry leader of 24/7 deliverables. The e-tailers factor is C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned short-term B2C2B, six-sigma, compelling project management, interfaces are forced to become killer. The metrics for compelling experiences are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, holistic. We usually architect cross-media development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 cyber-client-focused, synergistic TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you iterate iteravely, you may have to enable virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of seamless, scalable bleeding-edge, 24/7, visionary TQC. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Without adequate angel investors, proactive versioning are forced to become efficient. Think distributed. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We usually engineer dot-com power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring new e-markets? We will unleash the term "wireless". Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? Think C2C2B. Think proactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.