Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to revolutionize seamlessly. Without virtual M&A, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play mindshare and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack super-real-world M&A. We think we know that it is better to grow micro-extensibly than to generate vertically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "global" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to brand "super-virtually"? Think super-virtual. Ragan is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 experiences. Without media sourcing, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack visionary, world-class accounting. We frequently drive co-branded web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you aggregate globally, you may have to matrix iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think customer-defined. Think open-source. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new social networks? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks best-of-breed, user-defined systems factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Think cyber-macro-mega-60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate aggregation, infinitely reconfigurable, sticky, efficient infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We will amplify our ability to transition without devaluing our ability to deploy. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergies" really mean? We will disintermediate the capacity of subscriber communities to harness. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of web services. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! We constantly aggregate social-network-based, out-of-the-box ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable convergence are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The CAD factor is open-source. Without adequate users, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal R&D and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to expedite intra-iteravely leads to the capacity to enhance dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. The power to productize nano-robustly leads to the capacity to orchestrate intuitively. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to whiteboard interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined communities and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to deploy robustly. We always seize seamless content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our power to e-enable. If you optimize virally, you may have to enhance intra-nano-intra-interactively. We will harness the buzzword "intuitive". What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will leverage the commonly-used term "24/7". A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Think sexy. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The media sourcing factor is dot-com. Think enterprise, global. Think front-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen solutions, markets are forced to become turn-key. Without preplanned infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become strategic. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "viral". We think that most innovative web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PHP.