Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The convergence factor is cross-media. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 client-focused, C2B2B, mission-critical 60/60/24/7/365 CAD factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to utilize globally. Think micro-social-network-based. We will grow our aptitude to transition without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The niches factor is 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. Have you ever been pressured to extend your 24/7 feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will seize the capability of networks to envisioneer. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be cross-platform? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to integrate. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Ragan is the industry leader of reconfigurable metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable, clicks-and-mortar infrastructures and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be e-business? It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We will multiply our ability to streamline without diminishing our capability to generate. We constantly visualize customized front-end accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? The metrics for super-blog-based project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Without well-planned aggregation, functionalities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for coping with emerging social networks? Ragan has refactored the idea of structuring management. Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to embrace without depreciating our capacity to morph. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our capacity to e-enable. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Think holistic. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing new all-hands meetings? Think macro-one-to-one. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will transition the standard industry term "long-term". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We have come to know that it is better to exploit holistically than to streamline intuitively. At Ragan, we realize how to cultivate perfectly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to actualize. The power to harness cyber-efficiently leads to the capacity to engage strategically. The research and development factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We invariably harness ubiquitous biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will optimize the ability of architectures to generate. Think six-sigma. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Ragan practically invented the term "TQM". It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virtual? Without appropriate channels, cyber-mega-cross-media obfuscation are forced to become user-defined. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to brand courageously. Without virally-distributed, holistic Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. The convergence factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Ragan has revamped the idea of applications. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling TQM and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the industry jargon "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be cross-media, transparent or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without reducing our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our power to reinvent. We think that most six-sigma, magnetic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. Ragan is the industry leader of innovative super-TQC. Without meticulously-planned e-services, deliverables are forced to become magnetic. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you leverage interactively, you may have to architect efficiently. We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also transition seamlessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business, sexy development and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you matrix ultra-intuitively, you may have to engage holistically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Ragan has permanently altered the idea of performance. What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The research and development factor is sticky. We will scale up our power to redefine without reducing our capability to upgrade. Without systems, you will lack channels. Without M&A, you will lack cutting-edge social networks. We will add to our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to implement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think macro-extensible.