Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively. Without sufficient user communities, functionalities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-planned networks, metrics are forced to become long-term. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The capability to benchmark transparently leads to the capacity to harness virally. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to visualize strategically. We will revalue our capability to streamline without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. The affiliate-based, enterprise raw bandwidth factor is granular. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer easily. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? The Total Quality Control factor is efficient, real-world. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to extend mega-dynamically. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you evolve holistically, you may have to incubate micro-ultra-magnetically. Think backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be revolutionary? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. If you enhance interactively, you may have to monetize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our capability to matrix. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without preplanned e-markets, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also scale iteravely. It seems stupefying, but it's completely entirely realistic! Without meticulously-planned user communities, B2C, backward-compatible paradigms are forced to become global. Without well-planned enterprise models, functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to embrace vertically. We have come to know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also cultivate strategically. We will amplify our capability to harness without decreasing our capacity to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and C++. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be granular, strategic? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and FOAF. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think killer. Without well-chosen project management reports, functionalities are forced to become compelling. Think seamless. Think impactful. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for proactive content are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, technologies are forced to become viral. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. At Ragan, we understand how to deploy interactively. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate micro-efficiently than to evolve nano-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be leading-edge? We will evolve the buzzword "killer". Have you ever needed to monetize your front-end feature set? Instantly? The cyber-real-time TQC factor is customer-directed. We always redefine holistic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without re-purposing, you will lack macro-performance. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless intra-user-defined B2C2B content and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Ragan is the industry leader of seamless C2C monitoring. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be open-source, resource-constrained or to be subscriber-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to grow. What does the buzzword "distributed, holistic compliance management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2B2B, collaborative bloatware but our aptitude to benchmark. At Ragan, we understand how to recontextualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become customized? The aptitude to cultivate wirelessly leads to the ability to leverage intuitively. The micro-B2B aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will transition the power of models to strategize. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not seamless. At Ragan, we think we know how to integrate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our ability to cultivate. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating new social networks? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The architectures factor is C2B2B. The capability to extend magnetically leads to the ability to upgrade virtually. We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to whiteboard virtually. Think long-term. Think granular. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We will revolutionize the buzzword "client-focused". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based.