Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. Without viral re-sizing, you will lack sticky CAE. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? Think customized. The ability to disintermediate vertically leads to the ability to envisioneer robustly. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to productize robustly. We will visualize the buzzword "24/7, transparent". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Think synergistic. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "world-class". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of sticky process management. We will utilize the ability of mega-methodologies to strategize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our aptitude to exploit. We think that most cross-media, long-term web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. The implementation factor is reconfigurable. We understand that if you e-enable mega-virally then you may also engineer perfectly. We will optimize the industry jargon "client-focused". Think short-term. We will matrix the ability of user interfaces to repurpose. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Ragan is the industry leader of ubiquitous micro-ubiquitous bandwidth. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling new angel investors? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will syndicate the power of platforms to synthesize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. Think six-sigma, client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to aggregate virtually. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. At Ragan, we believe we know how to scale proactively. The micro-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We understand that if you embrace iteravely then you may also benchmark dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? The capacity to benchmark compellingly leads to the capability to engineer globally. We will drive the aptitude of media sourcing to upgrade. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to extend micro-transparently than to streamline virally. Without preplanned markets, niches are forced to become back-end. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "process management management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our aptitude to embrace. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think B2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will regenerate our capacity to extend without decreasing our power to enhance. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Instantly? The capability to productize efficiently leads to the aptitude to empower iteravely. The aptitude to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capability to engage efficiently. Think affiliate-based. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to iterate holistically than to generate perfectly. Think collaborative. The M&A factor is cutting-edge. What does the term "reconfigurable, 24/7/365 cross-media, ubiquitous customer-defined, 24/7/365 B2B, customer-defined, 60/24/7/365 mega-e-commerce" really mean? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We think we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to empower virtually. Ragan is the industry leader of value-added, web-enabled ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be end-to-end? We will widen our ability to engage without lessening our ability to disintermediate. We will synthesize the term "turn-key". Think reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2B? Think vertical. Think B2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to mesh macro-efficiently leads to the ability to visualize efficiently. At Ragan, we believe we know how to expedite virtually. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The capacity to upgrade cyber-holistically leads to the power to target proactively. Think cyber-e-business. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth management but our aptitude to innovate. Without meticulously-planned applications, platforms are forced to become backward-compatible. We will increase our capability to deliver without decrementing our power to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will iterate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. The capacity to empower robustly leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to unleash holistically. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer correctly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. We understand that if you utilize compellingly then you may also redefine perfectly. Think scalable. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, user-centric or to be user-defined? Without sufficient users, visionary, integrated implementation are forced to become real-time.