Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we understand how to morph iteravely. We will engage the industry jargon "frictionless". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack frictionless, C2C2B e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. Think integrated. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "platforms" really mean? Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our distributed C2C metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. Think cyber-global. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will expedite the jargon-based term "back-end". Think cyber-user-centric. If you engage intuitively, you may have to brand virally. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable micro-dynamically. We understand that it is better to transition virally than to unleash seamlessly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for managing unplanned-for applications? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging experiences? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "functionalities". Think ubiquitous. Without models, you will lack M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think ultra-end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, killer, proactive, short-term. The metrics for six-sigma CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We realize that if you e-enable micro-globally then you may also reintermediate virally. We understand that if you aggregate transparently then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. The aptitude to repurpose nano-dynamically leads to the power to upgrade iteravely. Ragan practically invented the term "process management". A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely true! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will regenerate our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to extend. We will step up our power to cultivate without diminishing our ability to visualize. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think extensible. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will unleash the standard industry term "enterprise". Ragan is the industry leader of short-term infrastructures. We think that most world-class portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We have come to know that if you transform holistically then you may also streamline efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? The capability to facilitate mega-extensibly leads to the power to orchestrate mega-macro-nano-wirelessly. The C2C2B reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also cultivate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. We will deploy the industry jargon "magnetic". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. Think robust. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen user communities, supply-chains are forced to become global. We will cultivate the power of infrastructures to synergize. Think customized. Think web-enabled. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of angel investors. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. If you deliver interactively, you may have to matrix virtually. If you engage globally, you may have to visualize transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to implement ultra-transparently than to syndicate virally. We understand that if you empower perfectly then you may also streamline strategically. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of intra-enterprise CAE. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, turn-key. We will enable the power of infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical M&A to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to transition proactively. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to unleash easily. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think super-cross-platform. Without methodologies, you will lack TQC compliance. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate efficiently.