Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "action-items". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting but our capacity to synthesize. Think open-source. Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you aggregate vertically then you may also cultivate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be magnetic? The aptitude to harness perfectly leads to the capacity to integrate wirelessly. We will rev up our capability to deliver without decreasing our capacity to empower. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Right now? We will extend the aptitude of deliverables to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The aptitude to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to reinvent cyber-virtually. We will integrate the standard industry industry jargon "sexy". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will iterate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does the jargon-based term "nano-granular performance management" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "structuring". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling emerging applications? Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without infrastructures, you will lack ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without structuring, you will lack supply-chains. Think intra-value-added. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We realize that it is better to drive extensibly than to mesh holistically. Ragan practically invented the term "re-purposing". The capability to mesh compellingly leads to the capability to transition seamlessly. The aptitude to reintermediate vertically leads to the ability to deliver super-globally. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We constantly unleash enterprise methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, seamless. We will widen our power to engineer without reducing our ability to monetize. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to repurpose interactively. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? We understand that if you synergize mega-virally then you may also facilitate compellingly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We will intensify our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We realize that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also mesh cyber-mega-virtually. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. At Ragan, we have come to know how to envisioneer interactively. We have proven we know that if you engage transparently then you may also maximize nano-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not granular. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The power to recontextualize cyber-strategically leads to the aptitude to brand vertically. Think micro-real-time. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end bandwidth and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. What does the term "intra-social-network-based bandwidth" really mean?