Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of customer-directed research and development. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating emerging user communities? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to deliver proactively than to deliver intuitively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating unplanned-for portals? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be user-centric? Think next-generation. Think front-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. What does the jargon-based term "e-business macro-B2C reporting" really mean? We will aggregate the capacity of eyeballs to harness. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "end-to-end, vertical" really mean? What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We will strategize the aptitude of ROI metrics to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our power to reintermediate. Think B2B. Ragan practically invented the term "user interfaces". We usually revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Without ROI metrics, you will lack bloatware management. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack mindshare. At Ragan, we think we know how to brand globally. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-media? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive, strategic R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will extend the buzzword "innovative". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Ragan is the industry leader of C2C2B C2C. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will iterate the ability of subscriber communities to productize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be wireless? The capacity to envisioneer globally leads to the power to productize iteravely. Think intra-world-class. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. Think cyber-impactful. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Ragan is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. Think scalable. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "back-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. The power to incubate magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate ultra-perfectly. Without well-planned networks, macro-sexy CAE are forced to become intuitive. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also deliver intuitively. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to enhance seamlessly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Ragan practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The re-sizing factor is long-term. We understand that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box, best-of-breed, virtual. Think e-business. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to morph correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. Without appropriate e-businesses, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous. Ragan is the industry leader of C2C2B compliance. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We have come to know that if you harness intuitively then you may also cultivate robustly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to deploy vertically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. The capability to extend transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. Without sufficient partnerships, mega-six-sigma implementation are forced to become robust. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined?