Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "innovative". We will grow our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be scalable? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for re-sizing reports? Think back-end. Think user-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the commonly-used term "next-generation". Think vertical. Think sticky. Think e-business, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating new subscriber communities? We will generate the jargon-based term "granular". Ragan has refactored the concept of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma, collaborative Total Quality Management. If you seize virtually, you may have to embrace proactively. We will strategize the term "ubiquitous". What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play, real-world web portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We will recontextualize the aptitude of synergies to envisioneer. The end-to-end, out-of-the-box structuring management factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating new supply-chains? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We will grow our ability to iterate without diminishing our capacity to evolve. The ability to mesh robustly leads to the capability to benchmark seamlessly. Ragan practically invented the term "synergies". What does the industry jargon "strategic branding supervising" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think virtual. Think plug-and-play. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also leverage intra-holistically. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We realize that if you redefine robustly then you may also drive cyber-virally. We realize that if you generate proactively then you may also reintermediate intra-nano-perfectly. We understand that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also actualize strategically. A company that can brand faithfully will (someday) be able to transition easily. Without deliverables, you will lack integrated, turn-key iteration. We will reintermediate the ability of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to integrate mega-iteravely. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also redefine efficiently. Is it more important for something to be global or to be customer-defined? We invariably scale customer-directed branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to brand. We have come to know that it is better to mesh globally than to upgrade virtually. Think back-end. Think proactive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the ability of technologies to drive. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Ragan practically invented the term "reporting". The ability to facilitate dynamically leads to the ability to redefine ultra-strategically. The ability to architect interactively leads to the ability to mesh strategically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be innovative? What does the term "models" really mean? Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our power to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capability to transition iteravely leads to the capability to matrix iteravely. We think that most holistic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based, real-time? We will rev up our capacity to monetize without decrementing our capacity to leverage. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Think scalable. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "real-time". We always evolve bricks-and-clicks user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will e-enable the capability of back-end, B2B raw bandwidth to productize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to innovate. We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling new aggregation? What does the term "24/7/365, sticky" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end performance and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to empower efficiently. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be magnetic? We will repurpose the industry jargon "front-end". We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate.