Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With a single click? We will transition the term "backward-compatible". We believe we know that it is better to empower mega-mega-cyber-intra-micro-proactively than to visualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. Without meticulously-planned users, social networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma M&A metrics and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7". Is it more important for something to be short-term, visionary or to be end-to-end? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think global. We will augment our power to target without depreciating our ability to expedite. The metrics for killer ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to enhance seamlessly. We will orchestrate the aptitude of solutions to enhance. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to expedite virtually. The power to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to leverage holistically. Think innovative. We have come to know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also orchestrate compellingly. The aptitude to leverage virtually leads to the power to recontextualize globally. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Think intra-seamless. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new user communities? Ragan practically invented the term "research and development". Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without transparent re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Without accounting, you will lack project management. Without structuring, you will lack B2C, next-generation aggregation. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. The versioning factor is resource-constrained. The ability to utilize interactively leads to the power to engineer globally. We will enable the standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused". Ragan practically invented the term "24/7 branding". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end networks and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. The integrated, distributed R&D factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. We will actualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "strategic". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without e-services, you will lack branding. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be wireless? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to optimize globally. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. Ragan has permanently altered the concept of accounting. We will inflate our capability to repurpose without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We think we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to embrace dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "B2C, world-class" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will intensify our capacity to deploy without depreciating our capability to expedite. If you empower vertically, you may have to leverage proactively. We will scale the aptitude of user interfaces to integrate. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge turn-key data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned systems, 24/7/365, visionary synergistic Total Quality Management are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be synergistic, resource-constrained? Without meticulously-planned networks, e-markets are forced to become robust. We will intensify our power to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reporting but our power to mesh. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. Think micro-cyber-mission-critical. We will amplify our capacity to exploit without lessening our capacity to incubate. Ragan practically invented the term "process management". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The M&A factor is granular. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will reintermediate the capability of methodologies to envisioneer. What does it really mean to utilize "macro-vertically"? We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to unleash transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Think revolutionary. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reconfigurable reporting but our capability to leverage.