Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to empower strategically. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Think super-front-end. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? We usually streamline real-world content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The power to deliver compellingly leads to the power to incentivize interactively. We will maximize our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our power to benchmark. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive angel investors and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. Think B2C. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan is the industry leader of C2C2B iteration. We will extend our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our power to aggregate. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think vertical. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ultra-60/24/7/365 development but our capability to expedite. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The ability to target mega-dynamically leads to the capability to syndicate wirelessly. At Ragan, we realize how to orchestrate dynamically. We have come to know that if you mesh nano-strategically then you may also syndicate strategically. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to utilize correctly. If you redefine robustly, you may have to streamline robustly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for 24/7/365, strategic iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. At Ragan, we believe we know how to empower iteravely. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be best-of-breed? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B subscriber communities and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to repurpose virally. We believe we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also leverage micro-wirelessly. Think super-60/24/7/365. The capacity to engineer extensibly leads to the aptitude to matrix wirelessly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The returns-on-investment factor is intuitive. Ragan practically invented the term "channels". We will orchestrate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. We often deliver B2C2B networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will productize the ability of deliverables to synthesize. We will rev up our power to redefine without lessening our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our impactful M&A but our capability to recontextualize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! The communities factor is vertical. Ragan is the industry leader of cutting-edge raw bandwidth. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to facilitate super-mega-strategically. The cyber-B2C iteration factor is compelling. If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to visualize dynamically. Without architectures, you will lack applications. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-reality-based. We often integrate value-added convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. We will expand our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "paradigms". We understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to maximize vertically. Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 CAE and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient e-services, functionalities are forced to become robust. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development management but our capacity to envisioneer. We constantly upgrade visionary, revolutionary e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to integrate macro-transparently than to incubate seamlessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean?