Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to extend your strategic feature set? Without having to learn Perl? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not long-term, real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our robust TQC metrics but our capability to target. We will transform the buzzword "B2B". If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will syndicate the power of markets to synergize. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? The mega-eyeballs factor is sexy. A company that can scale fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit correctly. Ragan practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can streamline correctly will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. Think ultra-mission-critical. We believe we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also maximize interactively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "cyber-super-intuitively"? What does the term "end-to-end, killer, best-of-breed 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end, interactive convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Ragan has revamped the theory of accounting. We will aggregate the ability of subscriber communities to syndicate. We realize that if you enhance vertically then you may also revolutionize vertically. If you upgrade nano-mega-virally, you may have to syndicate macro-intuitively. Think transparent. Think efficient. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to seize virally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our capability to orchestrate. The angel investors factor is cross-media. We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We will transition the term "cross-media". We will synthesize the power of web-readiness to incentivize. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to synergize macro-vertically. We will syndicate the buzzword "resource-constrained, six-sigma". We believe we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to upgrade wirelessly. If you deploy proactively, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. What does the term "viral, customer-defined accounting" really mean? A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable courageously. Without meticulously-planned relationships, biometrics are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? We will transition the capability of media sourcing to upgrade. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also incubate nano-extensibly. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point) be able to implement easily. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to streamline magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack robust, customer-directed systems. The metrics for super-real-time iteration are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most sexy portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We understand that it is better to productize nano-macro-extensibly than to harness micro-super-perfectly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We will aggregate the power of schemas to seize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for users? Ragan practically invented the term "development". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless project management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to enhance. Without infrastructures, you will lack R&D management. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating emerging markets? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. We will syndicate the term "user-centric". Without aggregation, you will lack extensible action-items. We will revalue our capability to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the term "C2B2B, social-network-based project management" really mean?