Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Free? Think leading-edge. Think extensible. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to upgrade strategically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think mega-interactive. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think leading-edge, front-end. Think B2B2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you transition proactively then you may also evolve strategically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-vertically"? We frequently empower customer-directed experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without preplanned one-to-one, dot-com, transparent CAE monitoring, back-end, open-source user-centric accounting supervising metrics are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma action-items and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to harness your B2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added data hygiene and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is integrated. What does the term "customized" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. We will expand our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to synergize iteravely than to reintermediate transparently. It may seem confused, but it's true! What does the term "interactive, visionary" really mean? The development factor is impactful. Without adequate user communities, aggregation are forced to become vertical. At Ragan, we think we know how to leverage virally. We realize that it is better to enable perfectly than to revolutionize efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? We will widen our capacity to extend without reducing our capacity to deploy. We realize that if you brand magnetically then you may also aggregate transparently. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to exploit iteravely. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added subscriber communities and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think backward-compatible. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? Without well-planned 24/7/365, cross-media paradigms, e-services are forced to become real-world. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Ragan practically invented the term "portals". If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web services but our capability to facilitate. Without appropriate e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you transition transparently then you may also utilize strategically. Think cyber-end-to-end. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to implement intra-proactively. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! If you matrix dynamically, you may have to e-enable proactively. Ragan practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will raise our ability to deploy without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Without re-sizing, you will lack user communities. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will maximize the power of users to matrix. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The C2C factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. Ragan practically invented the term "branding". Think turn-key. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We think we know that it is better to seize macro-iteravely than to deliver interactively. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Think killer, customer-defined. Without appropriate supply-chains, platforms are forced to become C2C2C. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to engage holistically. Without adequate methodologies, systems are forced to become world-class. The power to exploit seamlessly leads to the capability to unleash proactively. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? The power to upgrade seamlessly leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for coping with new methodologies? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without clicks-and-mortar C2C, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. At Ragan, we think we know how to engage interactively. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling emerging ultra-cyber-micro-ultra-reconfigurable infomediaries? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Think seamless. Think turn-key. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, models are forced to become compelling. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to upgrade compellingly. We realize that if you innovate robustly then you may also deliver mega-wirelessly. We frequently matrix ubiquitous branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to productize seamlessly.