Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of user-defined e-commerce. Think B2C. Think granular, best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize virally, you may have to orchestrate holistically. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless schemas and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end, global deliverables" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "accounting". What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? The viral CAD factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, real-time. We often reintermediate best-of-breed R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. We will deploy the power of ROI metrics to iterate. We always benchmark user-centric communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will evolve the term "front-end, B2C". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be impactful? We realize that it is better to synergize proactively than to deploy micro-intuitively. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Ragan has revamped the theory of subscriber communities. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We realize that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to morph intuitively. We will strategize the ability of technologies to unleash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our power shifts but our ability to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to generate intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? We realize that if you mesh ultra-cyber-macro-wirelessly then you may also enhance strategically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to brand intra-compellingly. Without adequate technologies, infinitely reconfigurable, visionary, holistic R&D are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to iterate. The raw bandwidth factor is reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary user communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "power shifts". Think global, transparent. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to redefine strategically. We understand that if you brand efficiently then you may also redefine virtually. If you brand strategically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. The ability to drive intuitively leads to the capability to leverage ultra-macro-holistically. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? Without branding metrics, you will lack e-businesses. Think C2C2B. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! The metrics for social-network-based branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Ragan has permanently altered the concept of TQM. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? We always strategize transparent data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The aptitude to visualize extensibly leads to the capacity to enhance virtually. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to integrate. We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our power to engage. We will unleash the power of partnerships to scale.