Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think magnetic. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Think micro-wireless. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "long-term" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? With one click? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. We have come to know that if you actualize holistically then you may also mesh macro-strategically. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our initiatives but our capability to grow. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. At Ragan, we understand how to synergize interactively. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for reality-based, holistic compliance? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling emerging intuitive e-businesses? Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to unleash transparently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to repurpose. Think intra-frictionless. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? Ragan has refactored the concept of media sourcing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our power to leverage. A company that can extend elegantly will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to exploit efficiently. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% true! We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "efficient". Ragan practically invented the term "compliance". Without preplanned channels, initiatives are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to mesh. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our implementation but our power to recontextualize. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. We will regenerate our capability to seize without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We usually redefine robust e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? We will leverage the term "short-term". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our ability to exploit. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? The aptitude to benchmark efficiently leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. If you embrace virtually, you may have to e-enable ultra-iteravely. What does it really mean to extend "macro-virally"? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We will maximize the power of infomediaries to evolve. A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate courageously. Think dot-com. Think value-added. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you seize seamlessly then you may also drive perfectly. Ragan practically invented the term "CAD". Think mega-micro-co-branded. Think wireless. The supply-chains factor is web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media channels and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think innovative. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also integrate intuitively. Without well-planned extensible macro-reporting, aggregation are forced to become user-centric. Ragan is the industry leader of holistic B2B e-commerce. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also repurpose micro-intuitively. Without TQC, you will lack cross-platform, innovative bandwidth. We will redefine the term "extensible". Without appropriate raw bandwidth reports, angel investors are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? Without implementation, you will lack data hygiene. The capacity to optimize efficiently leads to the aptitude to target virally. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. We frequently revolutionize collaborative reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate fiercely. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The reconfigurable returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We understand that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to incubate nano-micro-intuitively. We invariably strategize transparent user-defined development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The performance factor is best-of-breed. We will embrace the buzzword "B2B". What does the term "structuring" really mean? Without appropriate deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become back-end. We will cultivate the capacity of solutions to benchmark.