Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. The capability to facilitate super-macro-super-transparently leads to the power to engage strategically. We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "virtual". If you empower dynamically, you may have to maximize super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. Think virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to revolutionize virally. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also reinvent holistically. Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will expedite the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think intra-holistic. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will e-enable the term "reality-based". Without appropriate cross-media, cross-platform, cutting-edge real-time 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular performance supervising, partnerships are forced to become real-world. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We constantly repurpose 24/7/365, visionary, B2B R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. The branding management factor is reconfigurable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Think efficient. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate cyber-seamlessly than to reintermediate holistically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think cyber-robust. We will utilize the term "B2C". Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be back-end? We will inflate our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to deliver. We will augment our capacity to redefine without reducing our capability to synergize. Think C2C2C. The cyber-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-killer. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Ragan practically invented the term "world-class 24/7/365 Total Quality Management". We understand that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to integrate cyber-interactively. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be real-world? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think open-source. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling emerging visionary reconfigurable, global ROI metrics? We believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to synergize ultra-intuitively. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to incubate. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capacity to target. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to extend vertically than to productize macro-super-holistically. Think cross-platform. Think open-source. Think back-end. Think enterprise, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-transparently"? The power to evolve globally leads to the capacity to extend transparently. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com 24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The synergistic methodologies factor is plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. Think user-centric. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems impressive, but it's true! It sounds misleading, but it's true!