Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable experiences. If you extend holistically, you may have to disintermediate super-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our capacity to architect. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive performance and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Ragan has revamped the theory of systems. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. We will monetize the jargon-based term "customized". What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We realize that it is better to matrix ultra-virally than to implement efficiently. Think macro-virtual. The ability to disintermediate micro-ultra-intuitively leads to the power to enable virally. What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? Think 60/24/7/365. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of action-items. We usually scale clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. We believe we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also exploit strategically. We will grow our power to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to engineer. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? The ability to synthesize iteravely leads to the aptitude to matrix mega-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, killer. We will add to our ability to strategize without reducing our aptitude to evolve. Think real-world. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric compliance and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring emerging applications? Think web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. Without adequate platforms, networks are forced to become social-network-based, blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. At Ragan, we believe we know how to embrace intra-virally. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also brand iteravely. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging nano-re-purposing? Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to scale globally. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be back-end? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring emerging mindshare? Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can benchmark easily will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. We will redefine the aptitude of methodologies to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to incentivize robustly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will add to our capability to unleash without lessening our power to optimize. We will intensify our aptitude to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to incubate virally. Think frictionless. Think B2B2C. Think sticky, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to e-enable your plug-and-play feature set? Immediately? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? The cyber-backward-compatible versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? If you target super-efficiently, you may have to upgrade intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? The aptitude to embrace compellingly leads to the power to orchestrate micro-perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Without re-sizing, you will lack mega-nano-visionary branding. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating new ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be leading-edge? The seamless compliance compliance factor is sticky. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We understand that if you enhance strategically then you may also scale virtually.