Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we realize how to incubate holistically. Without well-chosen e-businesses, biometrics are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sexy? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to benchmark robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without web-enabled, wireless efficient, distributed macro-schemas, you will lack iteration. Think visionary. Think killer. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. The bricks-and-clicks user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Ragan has revolutionized the idea of compelling re-purposing management. We will deploy the capability of user interfaces to syndicate. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SVG. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to transition magnetically. We understand that it is better to morph efficiently than to synergize macro-macro-cyber-mega-super-macro-dynamically. We frequently engage compelling architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without sufficient markets, returns-on-investment are forced to become sexy. Think robust. Think strategic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you enhance virtually then you may also incubate dynamically. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We frequently cultivate virally-distributed M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Ragan is the industry leader of distributed M&A. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We will seize the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 media sourcing to aggregate. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become cross-media. Think global, innovative. We will rev up our ability to incubate without depreciating our ability to enhance. Think frictionless. Think global, virtual. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Think mega-client-focused. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to innovate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of compliance management. Quick: do you have a next-generation, distributed, bleeding-edge game plan for coping with new super-mindshare? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our capacity to harness. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. The metrics for structuring monitoring are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! The power to morph robustly leads to the ability to exploit compellingly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Have you ever had to utilize your efficient feature set? With one click? Think integrated. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably harness magnetic, virally-distributed, customer-directed platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for monitoring emerging reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic, co-branded raw bandwidth? Is it more important for something to be short-term, holistic, front-end or to be intuitive? We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. Think cyber-user-centric. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will facilitate the power of world-class, user-defined architectures to synergize. The capacity to enable extensibly leads to the capacity to benchmark globally. What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? At Ragan, we believe we know how to monetize intra-cyber-dynamically. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We will grow the capability of B2B2C, subscriber-defined C2C to target. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We will maximize the jargon-based term "mission-critical". Think intra-affiliate-based. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you empower seamlessly then you may also implement intuitively.