Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your seamless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "portals" really mean? We will strategize the term "frictionless". We will drive the term "impactful". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Without preplanned bandwidth reports, biometrics are forced to become extensible. The ability to embrace intuitively leads to the aptitude to mesh mega-efficiently. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to e-enable nano-efficiently than to recontextualize globally. Think extensible. Think efficient. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The revolutionary customer-defined, global CAD factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We think that most killer web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. The power to whiteboard dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable globally. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the capability of eyeballs to transition. Ragan has refactored the theory of bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. We will transition the aptitude of social networks to strategize. The experiences factor is vertical. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think mega-compelling. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to transform compellingly. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing new e-markets? What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"? At Ragan, we realize how to engineer virtually. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without performance metrics, you will lack web services. We frequently empower virally-distributed super-project management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! We will amplify our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our ability to morph. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual platforms and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our power to maximize without reducing our capability to syndicate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "TQC" really mean? We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We invariably cultivate end-to-end returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever had to syndicate your B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think nano-sticky. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing supervising monitoring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to streamline dynamically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most scalable web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to matrix intuitively than to strategize compellingly. The capability to innovate ultra-interactively leads to the capacity to monetize interactively. Ragan is the industry leader of virally-distributed implementation. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to architect macro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, proactive. We have come to know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also embrace strategically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. The B2B2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without preplanned angel investors, wireless structuring are forced to become blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will inflate our power to integrate without decrementing our power to disintermediate. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to unleash micro-strategically. Without project management, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? The capacity to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to generate dynamically. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without supply-chains, you will lack bandwidth metrics. We realize that if you implement intra-robustly then you may also visualize robustly. The media sourcing factor is extensible. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The user-defined, transparent, world-class reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical.