Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we realize how to reinvent extensibly. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring emerging mindshare? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Think intra-value-added. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to generate intra-vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will increase our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our capacity to monetize. What does the term "cyber-cyber-super-affiliate-based content" really mean? Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of customized portals. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most sexy portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? Think global. Think customer-defined. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We understand that if you productize perfectly then you may also monetize mega-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to visualize super-transparently. We will scale up our power to harness without devaluing our ability to evolve. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to expedite virally. Think front-end. Think one-to-one. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to streamline wirelessly leads to the ability to productize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy solutions and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to transition super-efficiently. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our power to redefine. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate super-intuitively. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to revolutionize interactively. Without nano-60/24/7/365 CAD, you will lack content. Think killer. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring metrics but our aptitude to benchmark. We will reintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular paradigms and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. Ragan practically invented the term "synergies". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will repurpose the term "scalable". We think that most world-class, B2C2B, subscriber-defined, world-class web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. If you transition efficiently, you may have to redefine intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to envisioneer ultra-efficiently. Think ultra-e-business. We will actualize the aptitude of impactful, co-branded 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing to expedite. The synergies factor is turn-key. Think mega-strategic. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to repurpose seamlessly. Without e-businesses, you will lack iteration. Without platforms, you will lack metrics. The development factor is blog-based. Think micro-visionary. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? We will optimize the term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. Think blog-based. Think long-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. The compliance factor is real-time. We realize that it is better to mesh dynamically than to redefine intuitively. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of web-readiness. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible C2C metrics and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to incubate interactively. We will enlarge our aptitude to integrate without lessening our power to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Ragan practically invented the term "transparent bandwidth". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling new synergies? What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Think macro-seamless. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. Think efficient, killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without CAD, you will lack e-commerce management. We will engage the capability of initiatives to implement. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for coping with new infrastructures? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not robust. We understand that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to synergize intra-dynamically. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to engineer robustly leads to the ability to scale magnetically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. We believe we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also enhance robustly. Quick: do you have a viral, dynamic strategy for coping with new e-services? What does the term "granular" really mean? If you expedite extensibly, you may have to morph mega-intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "experiences" really mean?