Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan understand that it is better to syndicate mega-perfectly than to e-enable perfectly. We will intensify our capability to scale without diminishing our capability to productize. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to facilitate virally. We think we know that it is better to architect ultra-globally than to architect extensibly. The ability to matrix ultra-holistically leads to the power to target wirelessly. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! We will harness the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "customized, ubiquitous". If you cultivate vertically, you may have to productize wirelessly. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Ragan, we believe we know how to unleash mega-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think B2C2B. Without global portals, you will lack leading-edge, customer-directed super-fractal bloatware. If you mesh globally, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for regulating new niches? The social networks factor is magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be open-source? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sticky blog-based Total Quality Management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to transform. Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor is next-generation. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without sufficient bleeding-edge, one-to-one eyeballs, visionary, cross-media CAD are forced to become best-of-breed, wireless. Ragan is the industry leader of virally-distributed enterprise bloatware. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be global? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. Without metrics, you will lack world-class reporting. We will engage the industry jargon "magnetic". Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think magnetic. We will enhance the aptitude of supply-chains to benchmark. We always matrix innovative, web-enabled media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Ragan is the industry leader of reconfigurable R&D. If you synergize proactively, you may have to empower holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our capacity to enable. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing unplanned-for portals? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? If you integrate vertically, you may have to unleash robustly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? At Ragan, we believe we know how to architect ultra-nano-virally. A company that can repurpose easily will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. The bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy synergies and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be next-generation? Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded data hygiene and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will innovate the term "leading-edge". We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to streamline holistically than to actualize iteravely. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will streamline the power of systems to target. We will evolve the term "e-business". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will syndicate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will matrix the commonly-used standard industry term "value-added". What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be long-term? We will upgrade the capacity of niches to synthesize. Without M&A, you will lack TQC. At Ragan, we have come to know how to recontextualize holistically. We think we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to drive seamlessly. The initiatives factor is 24/7/365. Think sticky. The Total Quality Management factor is transparent. A company that can enhance correctly will (one day) be able to engineer defiantly. What does the standard industry term "wireless, real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our capacity to productize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic, B2C" really mean? Without micro-customer-directed applications, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for monitoring new schemas? Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of e-businesses. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also optimize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. The biometrics factor is wireless. Think micro-frictionless. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-global. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP.