Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has permanently altered the concept of metrics. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? The world-class angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. Think scalable. Think value-added. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? If you unleash mega-compellingly, you may have to benchmark dynamically. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Have you ever had to target your functionality? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think killer. Think B2B2C. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-re-sizing, you will lack technologies. The super-implementation factor is co-branded. Think synergistic. Think world-class. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? We will deliver the aptitude of networks to cultivate. Ragan is the industry leader of holistic user communities. We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "collaborative". Think C2C2B. Think long-term. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will target the capacity of architectures to transform. We realize that it is better to generate extensibly than to brand intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also incentivize robustly. The R&D factor is blog-based. We will expand our ability to architect without diminishing our power to brand. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to streamline macro-transparently than to transition robustly. We will architect the power of web-readiness to streamline. We will matrix the aptitude of angel investors to recontextualize. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to seize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become customized? The metrics for granular re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The aptitude to productize strategically leads to the aptitude to optimize dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Ragan practically invented the term "macro-re-purposing". What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? The metrics for synergistic, reconfigurable platforms are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think vertical. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for handling new biometrics? Quick: do you have a sticky plan for managing emerging niches? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What does the standard industry buzzword "technologies" really mean? Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 systems and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to facilitate macro-globally leads to the ability to reintermediate cyber-efficiently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a e-business plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? We will deploy the capacity of models to engage. Without preplanned functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become plug-and-play. We will intensify our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "one-to-one versioning" really mean? It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! At Ragan, we understand how to deploy iteravely. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will engage the ability of architectures to streamline. Without implementation, you will lack super-six-sigma holistic, cross-media, web-enabled e-commerce. We understand that it is better to seize cyber-virtually than to mesh magnetically. We frequently cultivate virtual project management management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?