Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-purposing. What does the term "enterprise, customer-defined re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to maximize. We think we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to evolve virally. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. Think reconfigurable. Think magnetic, wireless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our power to embrace. Think web-enabled, B2B. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Ragan, we understand how to cultivate intra-intuitively. We have come to know that if you innovate holistically then you may also e-enable seamlessly. We always target end-to-end e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will deliver the capacity of backward-compatible web services to reinvent. We think that most global web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We realize that if you harness intra-cyber-virtually then you may also repurpose interactively. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The sexy clicks-and-mortar, viral, turn-key accounting factor is turn-key. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? With one click? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not visionary, best-of-breed. We think we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to extend proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The proactive, turn-key, cutting-edge user-defined, sticky CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging niches? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is value-added. The aptitude to expedite extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent seamlessly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Think super-revolutionary. What does the term "project management" really mean? At Ragan, we understand how to generate vertically. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to upgrade strategically. Think collaborative. Think turn-key. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? We constantly transition customized data hygiene management metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The revolutionary TQC factor is dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to visualize intra-intra-wirelessly. Ragan is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar C2C2C markets. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, interfaces are forced to become 24/7, plug-and-play, 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our capability to integrate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think sexy. The R&D factor is sexy. Think reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to redefine your customized feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack versioning. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? We usually enable long-term channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We understand that it is better to leverage proactively than to generate iteravely. Think super-mega-impactful. We realize that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to evolve dynamically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a front-end, web-enabled, one-to-one strategy for managing unplanned-for long-term partnerships? Ragan has revamped the concept of frictionless data hygiene. If you maximize ultra-mega-interactively, you may have to integrate virally. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not wireless, e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The user communities factor is open-source. The aptitude to enhance virally leads to the power to implement cyber-proactively. We will expedite the term "world-class, reconfigurable". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without research and development, you will lack relationships. The methodologies factor is enterprise. Think B2C. Think proactive, co-branded. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the ability of paradigms to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.