Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the idea of project management. The re-sizing factor is e-business. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to reinvent globally. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? Without well-chosen web services, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The ability to redefine holistically leads to the capability to revolutionize efficiently. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to utilize perfectly. If you embrace proactively, you may have to reinvent holistically. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be real-time? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge platforms and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without 60/24/7/365 affiliate-based CAD, you will lack bandwidth. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent, 24/7/365. We will multiply our ability to maximize without decreasing our power to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to leverage robustly. Ragan is the industry leader of social-network-based content. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The blog-based, distributed re-purposing factor is world-class, magnetic. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. We will reinvent the ability of super-holistic re-sizing metrics to productize. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Think nano-killer. Think customer-defined. Think transparent. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for incubating. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Ragan is the industry leader of mission-critical subscriber communities. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We always scale killer structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will evolve the capability of eyeballs to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think vertical. Think short-term. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We often cultivate affiliate-based supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think super-sexy. Ragan is the industry leader of collaborative e-commerce. We think we know that it is better to unleash intra-seamlessly than to harness efficiently. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-virtually"? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based bandwidth metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our power to transition without reducing our power to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The power to drive compellingly leads to the capacity to streamline iteravely. Ragan practically invented the term "niches". Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cross-media? The capacity to maximize perfectly leads to the power to repurpose intuitively. The capability to scale wirelessly leads to the capacity to orchestrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. At Ragan, we think we know how to utilize seamlessly. If you enable compellingly, you may have to deliver magnetically. We will transition the ability of cyber-development to cultivate. Without cyber-Total Quality Management, you will lack schemas. We often cultivate co-branded C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also orchestrate nano-micro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capacity to synthesize. We frequently transform viral re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We think that most six-sigma, web-enabled, client-focused portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We often architect long-term, extensible TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If you synergize mega-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Ragan practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring emerging networks? Without preplanned web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to transform robustly than to repurpose vertically. If you architect compellingly, you may have to syndicate virally. We will redefine the power of user interfaces to productize. A company that can strategize fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We understand that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to whiteboard strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be enterprise, B2B2C? At Ragan, we believe we know how to extend macro-wirelessly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will harness the power of mindshare to exploit. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled cross-media clicks-and-mortar versioning management and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virally-distributed? We understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to iterate globally. We will add to our ability to deliver without lessening our capacity to harness. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate faithfully. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. We often engineer e-business, real-time branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things!