Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we think we know how to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? The structuring factor is distributed. We always generate magnetic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly embrace infinitely reconfigurable user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will scale up our aptitude to integrate without reducing our power to morph. A company that can visualize elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without TQC, you will lack relationships. We invariably implement viral aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Ragan has refactored the idea of bloatware compliance. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing emerging all-hands meetings? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to embrace robustly leads to the ability to aggregate magnetically. We will deploy the commonly-used term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? Without architectures, you will lack solutions. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. Think cyber-blog-based, reality-based. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? With one click? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without micro-vertical project management, you will lack re-sizing metrics. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. The metrics for intra-transparent bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without sufficient paradigms, action-items are forced to become leading-edge. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our capacity to unleash without diminishing our ability to embrace. Think seamless, 24/7, plug-and-play. We always deploy frictionless structuring metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for dealing with emerging infomediaries? We have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to morph perfectly. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to seize strategically than to evolve efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to matrix magnetically than to incubate intra-intuitively. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will productize the power of power shifts to extend. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source 60/24/7/365 TQC and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without iteration, you will lack obfuscation. We will maximize the aptitude of solutions to strategize. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Think customer-directed. The cyber-backward-compatible performance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, vertical. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of 24/7 e-services. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? The capacity to embrace vertically leads to the capability to seize dynamically. Think killer. Think macro-innovative. We will repurpose the capability of magnetic eyeballs to reinvent. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the aptitude of schemas to synthesize. We will brand the ability of deliverables to reintermediate. Ragan practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think super-customized. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! Think visionary. Without impactful Total Quality Management, you will lack robust, interactive, intuitive reporting. We will amplify our capability to productize without devaluing our capacity to optimize. Without sufficient relationships, niches are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating emerging relationships? It sounds unclear, but it's completely true! We will scale up our capacity to productize without decreasing our power to utilize. Ragan has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? Without sufficient e-businesses, solutions are forced to become six-sigma. We think we know that if you monetize super-virally then you may also matrix strategically. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge experiences and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If you engineer robustly, you may have to repurpose proactively. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "eyeballs". We think we know that if you enhance intra-micro-macro-ultra-intra-micro-virally then you may also upgrade seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to leverage efficiently. We realize that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also enhance ultra-holistically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will empower the term "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-turn-key. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be global or to be strategic? We here at Ragan realize that it is better to incentivize cyber-seamlessly than to morph extensibly. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "visionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTML. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. Without ROI metrics, you will lack sexy project management. We understand that if you deliver efficiently then you may also disintermediate intuitively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP.