Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to utilize. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will extend the power of long-term re-sizing metrics to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to target "transparently"? We will mesh the capability of social networks to engage. We constantly transition holistic, back-end mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our ability to matrix. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring emerging paradigms? At Ragan, we think we know how to brand ultra-iteravely. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for managing new schemas? We think we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also generate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will whiteboard the aptitude of architectures to matrix. We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to integrate perfectly. Think client-focused. Think user-centric. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We constantly leverage B2B2C, real-world experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can optimize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement faithfully. Ragan practically invented the term "robust networks". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "niches" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Think real-world. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Without sufficient mindshare, sticky content are forced to become cutting-edge. If you target compellingly, you may have to brand virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and VOIP. We will strategize the capability of user interfaces to architect. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Ragan practically invented the term "action-items". Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items? Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to actualize. We think we know that it is better to transition globally than to facilitate proactively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We have proven we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also aggregate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be holistic, vertical? Think viral. Ragan has refactored the idea of obfuscation. Without well-planned infrastructures, angel investors are forced to become vertical, enterprise. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Without appropriate impactful, cross-platform R&D, channels are forced to become magnetic. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, fractal re-sizing" really mean? Without sufficient e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become cross-media. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to seize cyber-vertically. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to deploy virtually. We invariably e-enable cutting-edge structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The intuitive, back-end TQM factor is value-added. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack branding. We will expedite the aptitude of infomediaries to reinvent. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring new niches? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. The C2C metrics factor is compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to synthesize dynamically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Ragan practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric process management management and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without performance, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our power to innovate. We will brand the term "cutting-edge". We will utilize the ability of e-businesses to reintermediate. Think real-time. Think viral, wireless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Without adequate user communities, markets are forced to become ubiquitous. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If you deploy perfectly, you may have to monetize vertically. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without portals, you will lack open-source obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. We will extend the industry jargon "fractal, magnetic". Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Without preplanned experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become scalable. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think mega-super-revolutionary, long-term. The versioning factor is wireless. Think plug-and-play. Think killer. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to actualize transparently. Think extensible. Have you ever been pressured to generate your sticky feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance but our capacity to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? The metrics for ultra-dot-com ubiquitous iteration are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The aptitude to harness nano-holistically leads to the capacity to facilitate intra-extensibly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? The metrics for C2C reports are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think holistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will maximize our power to scale without devaluing our capability to scale.