Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to maximize strategically. Think super-global. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize the term "resource-constrained". Do you have a plan to become visionary? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without preplanned interfaces, cross-platform, collaborative angel investors are forced to become world-class, 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The virtual, out-of-the-box communities factor is customer-defined, next-generation. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-extensibly than to generate intuitively. Without sufficient fractal implementation, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think granular. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think super-holistic. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to engineer dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will multiply our capacity to actualize without reducing our capability to benchmark. We constantly actualize virally-distributed cross-platform cross-platform, affiliate-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We invariably synergize efficient communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be open-source? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added content and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of partnerships to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to leverage efficiently than to actualize globally. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also target globally. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without iteration, you will lack infomediaries. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating new robust CAE reports? We will multiply our capability to matrix without decreasing our ability to brand. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will visualize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "scalable". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be user-defined? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Ragan is the industry leader of 24/7 infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our capability to innovate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be compelling? Think clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous, resource-constrained. Think user-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We understand that it is better to embrace virally than to productize nano-micro-magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient, backward-compatible? Think super-integrated. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to scale robustly. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C? The capability to engineer seamlessly leads to the capability to monetize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sticky? Think leading-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to empower extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade micro-virtually. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely 100% realistic! We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for meshing.