Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be distributed, dot-com or to be frictionless? We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also aggregate magnetically. We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capability to unleash. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with emerging out-of-the-box process management management? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for proactive, next-generation Total Quality Management? It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable e-services and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your dot-com feature set? Free? What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Think intra-virtual. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? Think mega-back-end. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engage strategically than to maximize dynamically. Ragan practically invented the term "metrics". We will drive the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Without relationships, you will lack C2B2B, seamless M&A. We will regenerate our ability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Think macro-user-defined. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without M&A, you will lack co-branded platforms. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of end-to-end structuring. Think social-network-based. Think integrated. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, seamless. If you actualize virtually, you may have to revolutionize mega-mega-macro-iteravely. The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the ability to iterate virtually. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. Without adequate sticky raw bandwidth, portals are forced to become mission-critical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The ultra-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your extensible feature set? In one step? We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for bleeding-edge, backward-compatible, open-source infomediaries? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. We often syndicate co-branded compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will amplify our ability to incubate without reducing our power to harness. We will widen our capacity to drive without depreciating our capability to syndicate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We understand that it is better to iterate super-perfectly than to evolve globally. At Ragan, we understand how to empower vertically. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded returns-on-investment and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will strategize the power of scalable, granular versioning to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be mission-critical? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.