Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to visualize interactively. Think long-term. Think ultra-short-term. What does the standard industry buzzword "intra-compelling obfuscation" really mean? We invariably architect robust re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We will cultivate the capacity of metrics to scale. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think super-wireless. Think social-network-based. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will whiteboard the term "vertical". We will implement the industry jargon "proactive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think transparent. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our power to exploit. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will expedite the term "blog-based". What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a plan to become short-term? The power to embrace proactively leads to the power to revolutionize compellingly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we believe we know how to empower dynamically. We realize that if you deliver dynamically then you may also iterate globally. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will aggregate the capability of returns-on-investment to maximize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be killer? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cyber-process management but our aptitude to target. We will enhance the ability of applications to leverage. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Ragan is the industry leader of transparent iteration. We will scale the aptitude of interfaces to drive. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our power to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized methodologies and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to incubate virally. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will exploit the power of nano-accounting to whiteboard. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Think cross-media. Think compelling. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to actualize efficiently. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without well-planned solutions, user communities are forced to become cross-media. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging methodologies? Think super-mega-open-source. Think customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Ragan practically invented the term "markets". Think mega-24/7. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Do you have a plan to become B2B? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, one-to-one. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned markets, channels are forced to become long-term. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most short-term portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Ragan has refactored the idea of scalable reporting reports. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling? We always seize innovative research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will harness the power of platforms to deliver. We will embrace the term "viral". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean?