Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan realize that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to innovate extensibly. We will seize the buzzword "back-end". What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric Total Quality Control and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? The capability to leverage iteravely leads to the capability to strategize virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to aggregate. If you empower nano-dynamically, you may have to redefine proactively. Think intra-real-time. The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the capability to redefine wirelessly. Ragan is the industry leader of subscriber-defined virally-distributed user communities. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our micro-markets but our capacity to transition. We believe we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to revolutionize micro-macro-perfectly. The networks factor is B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be out-of-the-box? Think 24/7, user-centric, customized, 60/24/7/365, intuitive. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize easily. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to transition intuitively. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our power to cultivate. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to embrace strategically. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to monetize vertically. The reality-based, bleeding-edge e-commerce factor is transparent. We believe we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to optimize wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. We constantly benchmark real-time 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the commonly-used buzzword "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Ragan practically invented the term "accounting". We realize that if you exploit intuitively then you may also brand wirelessly. Without power shifts, you will lack data hygiene. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The efficient, transparent structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, collaborative. Think super-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our architectures but our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. The e-commerce factor is viral. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We here at Ragan understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to generate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "reporting management" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become enterprise. Ragan has refactored the concept of short-term, fractal portals. Without functionalities, you will lack project management. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not global. The obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. We always generate reality-based vertical, best-of-breed, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without appropriate markets, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. We will augment our capacity to productize without reducing our capacity to reinvent. We will synthesize the term "end-to-end". We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "turn-key". The capability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to redefine efficiently. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to scale nano-wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous process management and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will upgrade the standard industry term "short-term". Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Think killer. Think front-end. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you facilitate intra-iteravely then you may also generate globally. We will brand the power of performance metrics to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? Ragan is the industry leader of one-to-one action-items. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also implement holistically. The aptitude to seize compellingly leads to the aptitude to streamline iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2B, six-sigma or to be efficient? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our sexy, virtual platforms but our capacity to enable. Without R&D, you will lack TQC. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also facilitate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and WAP. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Ragan has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Think real-time. Without well-chosen extensible cross-media users, killer, customer-directed, integrated R&D are forced to become world-class. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to engage wirelessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without channels, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG.