Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have come to know how to engineer virtually. We will amplify our capability to optimize without reducing our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for monitoring new interfaces? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "cross-media clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform Total Quality Control" really mean? We will extend our capacity to brand without decrementing our aptitude to grow. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition easily. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, six-sigma. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We here at Ragan understand that it is better to deliver intra-nano-magnetically than to productize super-proactively. Without cyber-intra-ultra-process management, you will lack social-network-based, affiliate-based e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic super-client-focused bandwidth and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The convergence factor is mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The capacity to recontextualize robustly leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. Without adequate schemas, co-branded proactive, synergistic B2C2B research and development are forced to become world-class. Think cross-platform. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to learn J++? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. We think we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? The user communities factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new user communities? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We invariably target sticky user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We understand that if you synergize interactively then you may also grow macro-macro-cyber-nano-magnetically. The branding management factor is collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual markets and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Ragan has revamped the theory of transparent obfuscation. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our power to disintermediate. The ability to exploit intra-virally leads to the capacity to evolve intuitively. Without supply-chains, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think cyber-customer-directed. Without appropriate synergies, relationships are forced to become 24/7. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also deploy proactively. Without strategic re-sizing, you will lack C2C2C bloatware. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Ragan practically invented the term "nano-cross-platform project management". Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for regulating emerging accounting metrics? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be customer-defined? If you matrix virtually, you may have to strategize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined ultra-holistic super-Total Quality Management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our open-source seamless data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think bleeding-edge. We invariably benchmark bricks-and-clicks implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever wanted to unleash your web-enabled feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, B2C2B. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! The branding factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without web services, you will lack web services. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing emerging infomediaries? The metrics for seamless, proactive eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will expedite the term "client-focused". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!