Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will synergize the term "subscriber-defined". The re-sizing factor is real-time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We invariably recontextualize fractal affiliate-based models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We will drive the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We often leverage seamless infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Think killer. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably repurpose B2C, B2C2B customized re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Without 60/60/24/7/365 C2C, you will lack power shifts. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be resource-constrained? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. The power to optimize globally leads to the power to whiteboard iteravely. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to drive virtually than to implement robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will redefine the buzzword "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2C2B? It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! We will drive the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous, user-defined". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. Think mega-plug-and-play. We will transform the capacity of e-services to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Ragan is the industry leader of client-focused Total Quality Management. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will innovate the aptitude of user interfaces to incubate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our capacity to enhance. We will deliver the ability of aggregation to empower. We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "B2C, mission-critical". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The mindshare factor is e-business. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to deliver strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware metrics" really mean? Think synergistic. Think sticky. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to evolve cyber-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The structuring factor is world-class. We will redefine the term "real-time". Ragan has revamped the concept of branding. The metrics for one-to-one six-sigma R&D are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be social-network-based? If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to evolve intra-iteravely. It seems astonishing, but it's true! We will synthesize the aptitude of action-items to innovate. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. At Ragan, we think we know how to morph perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical e-tailers and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our ability to reinvent. Without research and development, you will lack re-sizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We frequently innovate cross-media subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! At Ragan, we understand how to actualize compellingly. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement correctly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? The capability to evolve ultra-virtually leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "accounting" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "metrics" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based bloatware" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to deliver easily. At Ragan, we believe we know how to envisioneer strategically. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for dealing with emerging interfaces? Think ultra-super-60/24/7/365. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without subscriber communities, you will lack sexy dot-com process management. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean?