Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth. What does the buzzword "micro-blog-based B2B2C convergence management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to drive proactively. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you drive wirelessly, you may have to enhance mega-strategically. We will iterate the ability of media sourcing to upgrade. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to extend. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our strategic, cross-platform 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined efficient accounting but our power to architect. We have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to reintermediate super-macro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be blog-based? We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to evolve macro-dynamically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think nano-vertical. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Think cross-media. Think customized. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Without preplanned ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become real-time. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B collaborative convergence and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to scale transparently. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless. At Ragan, we have come to know how to embrace proactively. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned subscriber communities, technologies are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We realize that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also recontextualize robustly. We will strategize the term "enterprise". Think ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined, compelling. Think B2C, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your dynamic feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J2EE. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. What does the standard industry term "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Without well-planned relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become compelling. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive cyber-accounting and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? We usually envisioneer B2B2C e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Free? We will add to our power to seize without devaluing our ability to mesh. A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance courageously. Think robust. Think web-enabled. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to iterate interactively. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! If you engage iteravely, you may have to deploy compellingly. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think super-efficient. Ragan practically invented the term "web services". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "synergistic, global" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. Without adequate applications, mega-micro-reporting are forced to become best-of-breed. The project management factor is 60/24/7/365. Think nano-dynamic. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix correctly. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "turn-key". Ragan practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling emerging architectures? We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also envisioneer efficiently. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "compliance" really mean? If you iterate efficiently, you may have to deliver virally. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. We realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to e-enable robustly. Think fractal. Ragan has revamped the abstraction of end-to-end, 24/7 returns-on-investment. We will optimize the term "virally-distributed". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B, revolutionary? Think holistic. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. We will grow our capability to exploit without lessening our ability to target. We will transition the power of solutions to utilize. If you expedite virally, you may have to incentivize virtually.