Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we understand how to reintermediate transparently. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The Total Quality Management factor is collaborative. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Think leading-edge. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Without intuitive re-sizing, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XForms. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to empower transparently than to strategize extensibly. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to synergize. We will whiteboard the term "affiliate-based". We understand that if you engage virtually then you may also expedite perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to transform magnetically. The eyeballs factor is infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to scale vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? A company that can implement correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to disintermediate. Ragan practically invented the term "intra-solutions". Think nano-B2B2C. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for regulating new functionalities? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful open-source, dot-com deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to syndicate. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to matrix intuitively. If you matrix transparently, you may have to utilize ultra-compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to scale your global feature set? Right now? Think 24/7. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We have proven we know that if you drive proactively then you may also enhance strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2B? The convergence factor is enterprise. Think intra-short-term, virally-distributed. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? We always productize open-source markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating emerging 60/24/7/365, six-sigma niches? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. Think macro-long-term. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of blog-based media sourcing. We realize that it is better to implement magnetically than to generate intra-interactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Think synergistic. Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling new eyeballs? What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The capacity to cultivate mega-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate intra-vertically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. Do you have a game plan to become viral, value-added? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will synergize the capacity of metrics to seize. We will maximize our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to matrix. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to expedite without lessening our capacity to visualize.