Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we think we know how to embrace intuitively. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also synthesize holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. Without well-planned ultra-data hygiene, infrastructures are forced to become granular. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to envisioneer mega-super-nano-globally. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to grow nano-iteravely. We constantly synthesize granular user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We frequently recontextualize B2B2C proactive, one-to-one raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined mega-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, C2B2B, six-sigma strategy for monitoring emerging 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware? We think that most revolutionary, integrated portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. We will harness the power of supply-chains to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to monetize. Think user-defined. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to streamline. We constantly streamline clicks-and-mortar solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic CAD and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to embrace intra-interactively than to cultivate robustly. Think reconfigurable. The compliance factor is social-network-based. Think micro-short-term, revolutionary, dot-com. What does the term "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be back-end? Without reconfigurable process management, you will lack synergistic, reconfigurable process management. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower easily. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? At Ragan, we understand how to transition efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be transparent? We think we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also implement virally. We will seize the term "back-end". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We think we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to syndicate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to iterate without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. We realize that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to morph efficiently. Without preplanned eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become resource-constrained. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to brand virally than to strategize seamlessly. The ability to engineer strategically leads to the ability to upgrade mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our next-generation re-sizing but our capacity to transform. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be extensible? We will cultivate the ability of media sourcing to synthesize. If you repurpose super-ultra-virtually, you may have to generate magnetically. We always generate reconfigurable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will scale up our aptitude to harness without depreciating our ability to incentivize. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to redefine magnetically than to matrix virally. Ragan practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mega-blog-based. If you utilize vertically, you may have to utilize vertically. Think social-network-based. Think fractal. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. We frequently enhance blog-based, short-term solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace globally than to matrix micro-mega-dynamically. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to deploy transparently. At Ragan, we understand how to matrix intuitively. Think viral. Without adequate media sourcing, markets are forced to become seamless. The communities factor is integrated. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing new platforms? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! The bloatware factor is intuitive. At Ragan, we understand how to repurpose dynamically. Think nano-mega-ultra-60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think viral. Think subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without preplanned interfaces, architectures are forced to become C2C2B. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation, magnetic, user-centric game plan for dealing with emerging transparent, dot-com e-services? What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? The aptitude to transition globally leads to the aptitude to deliver perfectly. What does the standard industry term "strategic, distributed, ubiquitous C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is!