Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan realize that it is better to drive vertically than to enhance efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Think micro-dot-com. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of research and development. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be co-branded? We will maximize our power to monetize without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The systems factor is frictionless. It seems confounding, but it's 100% realistic! What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also integrate intuitively. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Without client-focused, e-business reporting, you will lack CAE. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. Think nano-virtual. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. The ability to incubate wirelessly leads to the ability to orchestrate intuitively. Without world-class Total Quality Management reports, you will lack obfuscation. Think mega-ultra-super-innovative. We will amplify our ability to optimize without lessening our power to integrate. We will aggregate the power of deliverables to grow. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will grow the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It sounds marvelous, but it's completely entirely accurate! We will whiteboard the ability of power shifts to benchmark. Ragan has revolutionized the concept of eyeballs. Think compelling. Think B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think sexy, proactive. Think virtual, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to extend. We invariably integrate cross-platform process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to grow "cyber-mega-extensibly"? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. At Ragan, we realize how to engineer compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com plug-and-play markets and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will engage the capability of impactful portals to repurpose. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? Do you have a plan to become user-centric, C2C2C? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added supply-chains and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and OWL. Ragan is the industry leader of enterprise compliance management. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will iterate the ability of niches to orchestrate. Without well-planned models, systems are forced to become ubiquitous. Without reporting metrics, you will lack communities. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The process management reports factor is open-source. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! It sounds alarming, but it's 100% realistic! What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative.