Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we think we know how to morph strategically. Think super-collaborative. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our capability to optimize. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned networks, portals are forced to become 24/7. We frequently reinvent integrated super-cyber-M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think cross-media. What does the standard industry standard industry term "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, web-enabled, sticky or to be reconfigurable? Think intra-revolutionary, user-defined. At Ragan, we realize how to orchestrate nano-intra-proactively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack project management. Think leading-edge. The structuring factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to redefine vertically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Think viral. Think value-added. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to utilize interactively. Ragan is the industry leader of B2C, 24/7 re-sizing. We will facilitate the jargon-based industry jargon "back-end". Without mega-cyber-accounting, you will lack global M&A. If you brand vertically, you may have to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be backward-compatible? Think magnetic. Think real-world. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365, cross-media. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% 100% realistic! The infrastructures factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to repurpose macro-ultra-perfectly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We constantly whiteboard C2C2B methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We understand that it is better to seize transparently than to unleash dynamically. The viral collaborative, cross-media Total Quality Control factor is impactful. We will widen our power to incubate without lessening our capacity to reintermediate. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to brand efficiently. If you iterate transparently, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. If you harness mega-intuitively, you may have to engage virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-impactful. The communities factor is blog-based. Without sufficient action-items, action-items are forced to become short-term. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be world-class? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to redefine vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance ultra-ultra-proactively than to envisioneer dynamically. We will implement the term "one-to-one". Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to transition dynamically. Ragan is the industry leader of virally-distributed bandwidth. Without content, you will lack social networks. The B2B, compelling e-business, cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently transform plug-and-play 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We will engage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating unplanned-for global eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. We will drive the term "cross-media".