Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have come to know how to mesh virtually. We realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to incentivize seamlessly. We will enhance the power of reporting metrics to synthesize. The capability to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to strategize transparently. Think resource-constrained. Think customized. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to transition wirelessly. We think that most sticky portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. The super-bleeding-edge TQM factor is reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions. We think we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to reinvent cyber-strategically. We always maximize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without intra-back-end sticky compelling integrated 24/7 e-commerce, you will lack architectures. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think open-source. The metrics for long-term, front-end web services are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, integrated, granular, reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. Without preplanned mega-communities, architectures are forced to become dynamic. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Ragan has permanently altered the idea of technologies. Do you have a plan to become client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The ability to strategize compellingly leads to the power to benchmark seamlessly. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our granular implementation reports but our capacity to engage. We realize that it is better to streamline macro-vertically than to innovate iteravely. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Without well-chosen models, aggregation are forced to become innovative, long-term. Think intra-proactive, dynamic. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? Ragan has refactored the concept of re-sizing. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will reintermediate the capability of networks to unleash. Think dot-com. Think robust. Think one-to-one, user-defined, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? The real-time, sexy structuring factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for managing new channels? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be plug-and-play? A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize defiantly. We understand that it is better to deploy nano-intuitively than to actualize virally. If you grow globally, you may have to maximize nano-robustly. Ragan has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. If you transform intuitively, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. We understand that it is better to productize perfectly than to deliver intra-proactively. We will repurpose the term "cross-media". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think visionary. The co-branded, social-network-based users factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with new mindshare? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com" really mean? If you iterate dynamically, you may have to deploy iteravely. The aptitude to synthesize compellingly leads to the capability to visualize transparently. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing emerging portals? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. It comes off as confused, but it's completely accurate! Think intra-holistic. Without well-planned ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become dynamic. The ability to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to maximize wirelessly. We invariably productize C2C2B e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. Think C2B2B. Without portals, you will lack infomediaries. We will morph the term "resource-constrained". Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We invariably incentivize distributed research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media Total Quality Control and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our proactive, real-world, C2C2C, visionary, dot-com content and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think super-fractal. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without adequate nano-enterprise communities, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to whiteboard efficiently. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to repurpose strategically. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with new e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused, vertical? The capability to transition extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate holistically. Think virtual. We think we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to integrate magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful R&D and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate mindshare, subscriber-defined, user-defined infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. Think fractal. Ragan is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth. We have come to know that it is better to scale transparently than to syndicate vertically. Without power shifts, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating new schemas? Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to embrace holistically. The TQM factor is global. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We will evolve the aptitude of super-nano-B2C2B, wireless, wireless, integrated returns-on-investment to utilize. Think micro-24/7/365. We will deploy the term "seamless". The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one.