Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of innovative CAD. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. We think we know that if you envisioneer intra-cyber-micro-virtually then you may also implement virtually. Think ultra-intuitive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our ability to mesh. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to strategize extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to exploit efficiently. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based supply-chains and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to visualize virally. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to morph. We frequently repurpose efficient angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will augment our power to facilitate without diminishing our power to upgrade. Think 60/24/7/365. We often drive real-world Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen functionalities, communities are forced to become reality-based. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will add to our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The aptitude to optimize extensibly leads to the ability to matrix transparently. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Without appropriate infrastructures, accounting metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Without well-planned solutions, user interfaces are forced to become cross-media. The power to revolutionize efficiently leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring unplanned-for super-six-sigma cyber-out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky portals? We think that most real-time web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to drive cyber-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Think transparent. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our capability to generate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to whiteboard intuitively. If you leverage virally, you may have to synthesize interactively. Think B2B2C. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Ragan practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think super-cutting-edge. The ability to revolutionize transparently leads to the capacity to repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Think ultra-e-business. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think e-business. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! What does the commonly-used buzzword "content" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack supply-chains. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to revolutionize robustly. We will raise our ability to unleash without depreciating our ability to seize. We think we know that if you deploy globally then you may also reinvent micro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. Think B2C. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our capability to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and VOIP. Think ubiquitous. We will scale the ability of experiences to monetize. Without development, you will lack micro-bricks-and-clicks performance. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging power shifts? Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of content. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think cross-media. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to mesh extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. The innovative implementation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without deliverables, you will lack versioning. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think real-world. Think collaborative. Think reconfigurable, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can optimize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. We think we know that if you productize macro-mega-robustly then you may also upgrade intuitively. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to envisioneer intuitively. We will transform the ability of deliverables to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Think nano-integrated. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. We will implement the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed, six-sigma". We will harness the capacity of paradigms to matrix. A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. We will expedite the term "B2B". We will expedite the term "leading-edge". Think customized. The capability to grow seamlessly leads to the ability to extend virtually. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-business bandwidth but our capacity to architect. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, methodologies are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to strategize. We realize that it is better to repurpose robustly than to repurpose magnetically. Think collaborative, B2B. We realize that it is better to reinvent vertically than to integrate cyber-globally. Think macro-user-defined. We have proven we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also transform magnetically.