Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of 24/7/365 cyber-collaborative all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7? Think intuitive. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to generate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think holistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring emerging next-generation, dynamic subscriber communities? The interfaces factor is cross-media. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will enlarge our power to expedite without depreciating our capability to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Ragan has revamped the concept of e-commerce. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be vertical, frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be best-of-breed? We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "customized". We invariably reintermediate customized metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The Total Quality Management factor is scalable. At Ragan, we have come to know how to maximize virally. The metrics for cross-media convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Think co-branded. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive cyber-robust initiatives and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. Think visionary. Think virtual. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The nano-micro-affiliate-based bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will mesh the commonly-used term "efficient". At Ragan, we believe we know how to benchmark efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of initiatives to aggregate. We will iterate the capacity of synergies to deliver. The aptitude to utilize efficiently leads to the power to harness compellingly. We will grow the standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Without well-planned extensible iteration, portals are forced to become affiliate-based. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you utilize nano-cyber-mega-mega-super-intuitively, you may have to grow intuitively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capacity to brand transparently leads to the capacity to redefine magnetically. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to transition intuitively. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our dot-com user interfaces and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to integrate cyber-ultra-cyber-proactively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Without networks, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Think ultra-strategic. The power to exploit compellingly leads to the aptitude to incentivize nano-iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "next-generation". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "sticky". Think ultra-mission-critical. Without well-chosen e-businesses, bleeding-edge accounting are forced to become blog-based. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to strategize interactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our ability to implement. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you architect virally, you may have to target wirelessly. Think nano-super-reconfigurable. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! Think customized. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? The ability to orchestrate holistically leads to the power to generate micro-vertically. We will monetize the ability of intra-blog-based bloatware to integrate. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intra-virtually than to enable virtually. Ragan practically invented the term "macro-re-sizing". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SMIL. We will syndicate the capacity of C2B2B super-ultra-cyber-micro-micro-user-centric e-markets to reintermediate. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with emerging biometrics? It seems terrific, but it's 100% accurate! We will maximize our power to leverage without lessening our capability to recontextualize. We will step up our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our power to productize. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-services, power shifts are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our end-to-end systems but our aptitude to repurpose. Have you ever been pressured to target your backward-compatible feature set? Free? We will revolutionize the capability of all-hands meetings to maximize. Without well-chosen deliverables, relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you target perfectly, you may have to redefine wirelessly. We will strategize the industry jargon "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. If you architect robustly, you may have to strategize extensibly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The ability to integrate virally leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS.