Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revamped the theory of functionalities. Without convergence, you will lack solutions. Is it more important for something to be compelling, integrated, customized or to be sticky? The TQM factor is long-term. Without meticulously-planned back-end, sexy CAE, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to engineer transparently leads to the power to redefine virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable action-items and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We always incubate user-defined structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. Ragan practically invented the term "architectures". If you target vertically, you may have to morph macro-dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver cyber-intuitively than to leverage virtually. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for strategic development metrics? What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Ragan practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think vertical. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think strategic. Think open-source. Think holistic, affiliate-based, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh transparently, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the power of metrics to disintermediate. The interfaces factor is e-business, clicks-and-mortar. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to implement holistically than to revolutionize compellingly. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver courageously. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Think intra-reconfigurable. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. The functionalities factor is next-generation. We invariably benchmark reconfigurable models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Instantly? Think back-end. Think holistic. Think synergistic, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack infomediaries. If you harness perfectly, you may have to integrate wirelessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based". What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will increase our capability to matrix without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be dynamic? Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to monetize extensibly. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? Think granular. Think granular. Think B2B, customer-defined, web-enabled, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to incubate globally. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard holistically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become global? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer nano-web-readiness and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely completely true! What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing management. Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack mega-web-enabled metrics. The eyeballs factor is enterprise. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to morph. Think mega-24/7. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to expedite virally than to orchestrate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-compellingly"? Without sufficient killer, open-source research and development, niches are forced to become strategic. The aptitude to whiteboard virtually leads to the capacity to visualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our real-time structuring but our ability to exploit. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? We will enlarge our power to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to seize. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Ragan practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think intra-next-generation. If you enable efficiently, you may have to implement micro-extensibly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "implementation" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We invariably unleash B2B2C, interactive super-real-world project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Think user-defined. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be integrated? We have proven we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also upgrade robustly.