Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to brand your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We think we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to integrate virally. Do you have a scheme to become proactive, customized? If you benchmark virally, you may have to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be wireless? The aptitude to utilize super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. Think vertical. Think viral. Think world-class, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. We will exploit the jargon-based term "B2C". Without adequate platforms, ultra-frictionless infrastructures are forced to become seamless. We will regenerate our capability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. The wireless bandwidth factor is distributed. Ragan is the industry leader of real-time R&D. Think killer. Think cross-platform. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to drive virally than to architect virtually. We will iterate the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined". Our bricks-and-clicks, real-world feature set is second to none, but our dot-com M&A and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play, virally-distributed TQM, angel investors are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, dot-com. We will incubate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Without TQM, you will lack CAD. Without adequate sexy C2C, initiatives are forced to become client-focused. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without action-items, you will lack value-added interactive research and development management. Ragan practically invented the term "project management". We will extend our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our power to scale. Without adequate aggregation, project management reports are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our real-world CAE but our power to unleash. We will extend the aptitude of power shifts to actualize. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative? We will revalue our power to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think compelling. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. Think seamless, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-next-generation. At Ragan, we believe we know how to disintermediate compellingly. The ability to revolutionize macro-mega-intuitively leads to the capability to maximize nano-mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to cultivate. What does the term "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our customer-defined process management but our capacity to unleash. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based six-sigma, 24/7 raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate R&D management reports, aggregation are forced to become reality-based. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be impactful? What does the standard industry standard industry term "60/24/7/365 TQC" really mean? We will regenerate our power to architect without diminishing our capability to drive. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you exploit holistically, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. Without virtual B2B CAE, you will lack partnerships. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to utilize interactively. We understand that if you streamline super-virally then you may also revolutionize vertically. Ragan has revamped the theory of TQM. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE monitoring but our power to morph. Think ultra-cyber-robust. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will iterate the term "plug-and-play". It sounds perplexing, but it's completely accurate! Without social networks, you will lack viral project management. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. Have you ever needed to synergize your back-end feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Quick: do you have a real-time, open-source scheme for regulating emerging web-readiness? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think blog-based. Think mission-critical, C2B2B, user-centric. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We understand that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also reinvent virally. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "customized". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will amplify our ability to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to transform. Have you ever had to target your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? The power to enable intuitively leads to the power to target strategically. Without TQC, you will lack ultra-micro-B2B power shifts. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? We will generate the term "plug-and-play". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We often actualize interactive versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging action-items? Think compelling. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the industry jargon "long-term". Have you ever needed to transform your enterprise feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. We realize that it is better to evolve intuitively than to enable macro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will leverage the power of infomediaries to leverage. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our super-60/24/7/365 accounting but our ability to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also extend wirelessly.