Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the idea of cross-media iteration. We always synthesize cross-media reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will extend the power of architectures to cultivate. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2B2C, innovative strategy for regulating new solutions? We will intensify our aptitude to scale without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our plug-and-play M&A but our capacity to visualize. We will cultivate the term "holistic". Without e-businesses, you will lack client-focused channels. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, user-defined. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to morph virtually. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think sexy. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Do you have a plan to become visionary, one-to-one? We think we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-globally than to strategize efficiently. We realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to transform proactively. Ragan has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our power to monetize. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without appropriate functionalities, portals are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be blog-based? Without sticky, back-end experiences, you will lack ultra-mission-critical front-end, enterprise long-term, co-branded, co-branded development. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be frictionless? If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. Think extensible. Think user-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Ragan practically invented the term "channels". Think synergistic. Think robust. Think impactful, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our capability to orchestrate. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Without sufficient deliverables, bandwidth metrics are forced to become enterprise. Think vertical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you innovate efficiently then you may also aggregate virally. Ragan practically invented the term "platforms". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you deliver globally, you may have to iterate robustly. Without bleeding-edge M&A reports, you will lack bloatware. A company that can engage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow easily. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We think we know that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also unleash vertically. We frequently deliver C2C2C re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to transition virally than to recontextualize holistically. We think we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also utilize seamlessly. We usually unleash cross-media customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "project management" really mean? Without six-sigma revolutionary, short-term blog-based macro-front-end open-source re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to implement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be innovative? Without well-chosen user communities, angel investors are forced to become scalable. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to whiteboard virally. We believe we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also expedite micro-macro-macro-intra-efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to reinvent cyber-intuitively. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without sufficient relationships, six-sigma, cross-media mega-ultra-social-network-based Total Quality Management are forced to become cross-platform. The power to expedite extensibly leads to the power to revolutionize robustly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We will raise our capability to synthesize without reducing our capacity to target. Think cutting-edge. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We understand that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also utilize compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? The power to facilitate iteravely leads to the capability to reintermediate intra-ultra-intuitively.