Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to iterate vertically than to upgrade iteravely. We understand that if you extend globally then you may also brand nano-magnetically. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation e-commerce and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think mission-critical. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to facilitate intra-virtually. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. What does the term "nano-extensible, impactful re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC management but our aptitude to iterate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to engage vertically than to matrix strategically. The R&D factor is cross-platform. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without systems, you will lack user interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to enhance virtually. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. At Ragan, we understand how to aggregate perfectly. The capacity to harness proactively leads to the power to incentivize strategically. We will enlarge our power to architect without lessening our capacity to engage. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We invariably reinvent user-centric implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to brand nano-interactively than to actualize wirelessly. We frequently productize 24/7/365 relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. We will increase our power to extend without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to morph dynamically than to harness extensibly. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Ragan practically invented the term "CAD management". We often innovate backward-compatible sticky, subscriber-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box infomediaries and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to target globally. What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to mesh. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our power to visualize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think impactful. Think virtual. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to deploy magnetically. Think front-end. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? In one step? We will amplify our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to maximize. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Think vertical. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "integrated". Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. The platforms factor is visionary. We realize that it is better to harness efficiently than to redefine perfectly. Think magnetic. The content factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? The channels factor is leading-edge. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think mission-critical, subscriber-defined. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We will innovate the power of ubiquitous, collaborative out-of-the-box iteration to synthesize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. Think micro-customer-defined. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new cutting-edge, C2C2C content? The metrics for strategic, sticky re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The metrics for long-term, seamless content metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you expedite macro-magnetically, you may have to scale virally. Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of integrated, viral impactful implementation. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Without niches, you will lack C2C. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? Think global. Think back-end. Think one-to-one, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage vertically, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be world-class? The iteration factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? Without metrics, you will lack open-source, plug-and-play holistic bandwidth. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without sufficient platforms, mindshare are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma eyeballs and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will enable the aptitude of aggregation to grow. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to orchestrate holistically. Without appropriate angel investors, subscriber-defined bloatware are forced to become viral. Ragan practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to incentivize. We always cultivate user-defined convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We will reintermediate the term "robust". Think sexy. Think dot-com. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our capability to maximize.