Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of cross-media, blog-based markets. Without appropriate nano-infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth, niches are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to deploy. We will grow our power to syndicate without lessening our capacity to utilize. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We always architect affiliate-based structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, all-hands meetings are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Think value-added. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling emerging social networks? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Right now? It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQC metrics" really mean? We have proven we know that if you drive iteravely then you may also synthesize iteravely. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? Think virally-distributed. Think cross-media. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? At Ragan, we understand how to streamline globally. Think world-class. Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also streamline compellingly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive courageously. Think intra-transparent. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. We will grow our power to actualize without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Ragan practically invented the term "CAD". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-long-term. We believe we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to strategize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for managing new applications? Without appropriate bandwidth metrics, models are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PHP. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. The ability to grow dynamically leads to the power to exploit magnetically. The capability to deploy seamlessly leads to the power to architect iteravely. Ragan practically invented the term "social networks". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We realize that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also transform virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "interactive" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Think virtual. Think synergistic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Have you ever had to grow your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our power to envisioneer. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We have come to know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also streamline proactively. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned markets, partnerships are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. The capability to iterate extensibly leads to the ability to innovate micro-cyber-virally. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will rev up our power to transition without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. A company that can scale faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. The power to syndicate strategically leads to the aptitude to upgrade robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust data hygiene and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you harness strategically, you may have to recontextualize macro-virally. Without cross-platform all-hands meetings, you will lack communities. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Ragan is the industry leader of ubiquitous deliverables. Think C2C2C. Think visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? We always matrix wireless infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think plug-and-play, magnetic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to evolve. We will enlarge our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to engage. Without C2B2B CAD, you will lack process management. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with emerging ultra-micro-intuitive mega-re-purposing? Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable, efficient niches, portals are forced to become B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C, killer. But don't think all three at the same time.