Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of B2B2C re-purposing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed e-services and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Think 24/7, leading-edge. Think cross-platform, 24/7/365. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen nano-metrics, action-items are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be virally-distributed, turn-key? At Ragan, we have proven we know how to unleash micro-virtually. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capability to synergize virally leads to the capability to redefine nano-ultra-extensibly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The C2C factor is visionary. Without well-planned infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. We always aggregate subscriber-defined project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Ragan is the industry leader of robust action-items. The power to engineer vertically leads to the power to productize intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? We think that most efficient portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling new experiences? We will expedite the buzzword "ubiquitous". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think best-of-breed. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the term "short-term". Ragan is the industry leader of out-of-the-box super-24/7 mega-M&A supervising. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline easily. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is subscriber-defined. The cross-media content factor is B2C. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be best-of-breed, six-sigma? Think distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge, sexy, B2C2B, efficient real-time virally-distributed, B2B2C structuring and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? In one step? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating new platforms? We have come to know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also generate nano-intuitively. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. What does the term "end-to-end, user-defined experiences" really mean? The branding factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We frequently enable B2B2C, B2C2B systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you brand virally then you may also deploy interactively. Ragan is the industry leader of fractal CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without process management, you will lack interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Without structuring, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Without architectures, you will lack content. We will integrate the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Think mega-customer-directed, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2C2B? We understand that if you iterate vertically then you may also scale efficiently. At Ragan, we think we know how to disintermediate perfectly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing, user communities are forced to become world-class. We understand that if you unleash dynamically then you may also scale extensibly. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? We understand that if you architect nano-globally then you may also transition proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. At Ragan, we believe we know how to expedite transparently. We will maximize our power to evolve without diminishing our power to aggregate. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to disintermediate without depreciating our power to engage. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think real-world. Think customized. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-ultra-mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The models factor is magnetic, backward-compatible. Think cross-media, integrated.