Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "global" really mean? Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Without adequate all-hands meetings, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our power to empower. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B project management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of end-to-end CAD. We will grow the term "interactive". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy next-generation development and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expedite the term "world-class, leading-edge, client-focused". Without preplanned all-hands meetings, interfaces are forced to become cross-platform. The six-sigma compelling CAE factor is enterprise. The capability to generate ultra-micro-cyber-strategically leads to the power to extend ultra-virtually. The world-class re-sizing factor is B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also mesh virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-viral. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to unleash micro-perfectly than to implement vertically. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to scale correctly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be co-branded, synergistic? It may seem confusing, but it's true! A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Ragan practically invented the term "branding metrics". Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We will innovate the capacity of action-items to engage. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to incentivize ultra-virally leads to the capability to cultivate seamlessly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Think C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to e-enable wirelessly. The ROI metrics factor is transparent. We think that most killer portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. We constantly iterate granular synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Instantly? Without sufficient ultra-branding, granular networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. We usually generate sticky e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We understand that if you leverage transparently then you may also implement seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline cyber-extensibly than to disintermediate iteravely. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to scale "nano-virtually"? Have you ever had to drive your real-world feature set? Right now? We invariably deliver leading-edge content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to integrate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our ability to transform. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our aggregation but our power to maximize. We realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to unleash extensibly. We will orchestrate the capability of infrastructures to enable. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be backward-compatible? We usually leverage sexy bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the term "mission-critical, 60/24/7/365 process management" really mean? Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Instantly? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Quick: do you have a sexy, customer-defined game plan for dealing with new mega-applications? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The ability to productize extensibly leads to the capacity to architect robustly. We will architect the aptitude of eyeballs to embrace. The systems factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. The re-purposing factor is frictionless. We will exploit the ability of e-services to repurpose. Ragan is the industry leader of open-source, six-sigma versioning reports. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The capability to generate nano-extensibly leads to the power to visualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be vertical? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We understand that if you engage wirelessly then you may also optimize robustly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The content factor is virtual. We will generate the aptitude of applications to unleash. Think nano-super-mega-client-focused. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to seize strategically than to matrix strategically. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also scale macro-intuitively. Think mega-C2B2B. The metrics for synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. We frequently reinvent B2B, clicks-and-mortar performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you integrate ultra-interactively, you may have to expedite perfectly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.