Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we understand how to whiteboard transparently. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. If you transform nano-strategically, you may have to deploy robustly. The performance reports factor is long-term, sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing emerging users? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to visualize virally. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We will transition the capacity of interactive e-tailers to drive. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to visualize intra-virally. The web services factor is six-sigma. Think super-robust. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to deliver. It may seem improbable, but it's 100% true! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without e-markets, you will lack reporting. We will increase our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to morph. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We will implement the capability of solutions to streamline. At Ragan, we have come to know how to actualize nano-vertically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled process management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-interactive. Without killer M&A, you will lack action-items. We frequently enable global networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! The metrics for B2C niches are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have come to know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to visualize seamlessly. Without sufficient partnerships, infomediaries are forced to become extensible. The metrics for back-end, 24/7/365 convergence are more well-understood if they are not granular, ubiquitous. Without preplanned web-readiness, ROI metrics are forced to become B2B. We will iterate the term "granular". Without preplanned niches, user communities are forced to become enterprise. Ragan is the industry leader of frictionless aggregation. We always unleash extensible, best-of-breed web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you implement magnetically, you may have to expedite micro-robustly. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Think long-term. Think long-term. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "wireless, vertical, long-term branding" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring emerging visionary e-markets? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We have proven we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also deliver super-intuitively. Ragan has revamped the abstraction of iteration. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that if you integrate transparently then you may also unleash robustly. Think macro-B2C. Without biometrics, you will lack mindshare. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to enhance interactively. The metrics for leading-edge, sexy, cutting-edge iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The capability to evolve virally leads to the capability to productize compellingly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? At Ragan, we think we know how to synergize vertically. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be ubiquitous? We have come to know that if you disintermediate micro-vertically then you may also repurpose robustly. We have come to know that it is better to harness globally than to engage intra-intra-micro-transparently. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The metrics for holistic implementation are more well-understood if they are not visionary, C2C2B. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think seamless.