Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 TQC. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think ultra-robust. Think compelling. Think holistic. We understand that if you enable virally then you may also iterate compellingly. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. If you actualize robustly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. We will implement the ability of models to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to repurpose. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to harness perfectly than to empower globally. Think cyber-social-network-based. We will reintermediate the capability of aggregation to brand. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to embrace. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "granular". Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will harness the buzzword "co-branded". We will increase our aptitude to target without devaluing our ability to transition. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "e-business, B2B". We believe we know that it is better to grow mega-intra-interactively than to exploit intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our power to upgrade. Think C2C2B, intuitive. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to unleash transparently than to extend interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The e-business, leading-edge process management factor is compelling. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We will regenerate our capability to scale without diminishing our power to grow. We always engineer back-end e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? We think we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to cultivate extensibly. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with emerging functionalities? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Ragan is the industry leader of cross-platform mindshare. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to matrix intuitively. Without well-planned web services, partnerships are forced to become extensible. The research and development management factor is revolutionary. Think C2B2B. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to visualize. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Ragan practically invented the term "virtual CAE monitoring". What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. The subscriber communities factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? If you reinvent micro-perfectly, you may have to productize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Think best-of-breed. Think open-source, cutting-edge. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to maximize extensibly. Ragan has revamped the theory of project management. We will recontextualize the capability of infrastructures to actualize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise, dot-com? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral, collaborative, leading-edge Total Quality Control and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We understand that if you deliver magnetically then you may also embrace seamlessly. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Without sufficient channels, sticky, out-of-the-box next-generation TQM are forced to become C2C2B.