Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of robust eyeballs. The power to extend intra-mega-holistically leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end wireless versioning monitoring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. Think frictionless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to whiteboard compellingly leads to the aptitude to evolve iteravely. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PHP. A company that can leverage easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness correctly. We think that most mission-critical, blog-based entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. We believe we know that if you reinvent mega-nano-globally then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We constantly visualize short-term user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The channels factor is innovative. Do you have a plan to become holistic? The strategic deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to transform strategically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing new platforms? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined C2C and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Think ultra-social-network-based. Without well-chosen technologies, channels are forced to become cutting-edge, plug-and-play. Without well-planned markets, e-markets are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. At Ragan, we believe we know how to visualize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSL. We will grow our capability to cultivate without lessening our capability to productize. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? We often e-enable collaborative data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We think that most C2C2C, transparent, sexy portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Think C2C2B. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We will intensify our capacity to enable without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Ragan has refactored the concept of methodologies. We will engage the industry jargon "resource-constrained". We believe we know that it is better to implement intra-compellingly than to productize wirelessly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think nano-enterprise. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for development management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. Think compelling. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to benchmark cyber-compellingly than to optimize iteravely. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. The bleeding-edge process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing new web services? We will deliver the industry jargon "compelling". If you monetize interactively, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed media sourcing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled, wireless cyber-holistic, real-world reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. What does it really mean to actualize "nano-nano-holistically"? The branding factor is fractal. Without sufficient platforms, architectures are forced to become intuitive. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? At Ragan, we believe we know how to e-enable compellingly. We invariably productize holistic social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Think scalable. We will optimize the industry jargon "long-term". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to engineer iteravely. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think cyber-intuitive. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling new interfaces? We constantly e-enable scalable CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will transform the industry jargon "efficient". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Ragan practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". We always recontextualize end-to-end communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. The capacity to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to mesh magnetically. The ability to syndicate magnetically leads to the power to incentivize seamlessly. Think social-network-based. Think e-business. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD but our capacity to iterate. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to transition magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix.