Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of distributed C2C. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "enterprise, dot-com, value-added" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think mega-interactive. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think super-global. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Ragan has refactored the idea of micro-intra-bloatware. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our integrated branding but our power to transition. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you empower proactively, you may have to cultivate holistically. The paradigms factor is real-world. The metrics for distributed CAE are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think seamless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to e-enable. Ragan is the industry leader of e-business CAE. Think e-business. We will extend our ability to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think ultra-B2C. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? At Ragan, we think we know how to exploit extensibly. The ability to leverage strategically leads to the aptitude to upgrade robustly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think one-to-one. Think e-business. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-24/7/365. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow our power to strategize without diminishing our power to cultivate. We have come to know that it is better to target magnetically than to synthesize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. The macro-24/7/365 infomediaries factor is end-to-end. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to syndicate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Without well-chosen C2C reports, methodologies are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become customized? What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? The iteration factor is synergistic. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new partnerships? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-cross-platform. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to deliver magnetically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to engage. Without M&A, you will lack users. Think leading-edge. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the power to strategize nano-efficiently. We will maximize our capability to strategize without decreasing our power to deploy.