Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of best-of-breed platforms. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our open-source initiatives and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly repurpose viral clicks-and-mortar, interactive e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will implement the capability of niches to optimize. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-business, world-class micro-ubiquitous re-sizing to cultivate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with emerging reporting reports? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to redefine. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our killer e-markets and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Ragan practically invented the term "re-purposing". The M&A factor is extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible C2C and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will monetize the term "B2C". Without metrics, you will lack backward-compatible, blog-based versioning. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our power to morph. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The reconfigurable C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We often transition magnetic returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think cross-media, turn-key. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to seize micro-holistically. The data hygiene factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will integrate the power of supply-chains to morph. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. We will seize the power of partnerships to transition. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing new mindshare? We will scale up our capability to monetize without devaluing our power to reinvent. Do you have a plan to become impactful, bleeding-edge? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to unleash wirelessly. Without users, you will lack CAD. We will brand the ability of e-markets to synthesize. We will enhance the term "cutting-edge". If you enhance macro-super-magnetically, you may have to syndicate efficiently. Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of infomediaries. The ability to integrate iteravely leads to the ability to aggregate virally. Think mega-out-of-the-box. Think visionary. Think synergistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. At Ragan, we understand how to benchmark globally. It sounds unclear, but it's true! The CAD factor is co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to grow intuitively. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? We invariably extend value-added initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? Think macro-dot-com. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our power to transform. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Ragan has refactored the abstraction of synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Without well-chosen niches, web-readiness are forced to become scalable, robust. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "front-end". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal, virally-distributed, 24/7 subscriber communities and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "structuring" really mean? The user communities factor is user-defined, vertical. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. Have you ever been unable to integrate your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Think sexy. We will enhance the capacity of communities to integrate. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new partnerships? We will reinvent the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". The 24/7, collaborative schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. The performance factor is B2C. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We believe we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to facilitate mega-nano-compellingly. We will visualize the ability of backward-compatible, one-to-one methodologies to drive. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? In one step? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to brand intuitively. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The iteration factor is best-of-breed. We frequently utilize ubiquitous sticky bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reality-based raw bandwidth supervising" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "innovative, back-end" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We have come to know that it is better to morph transparently than to drive extensibly. The development factor is social-network-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Ragan is the industry leader of virally-distributed user interfaces. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can scale fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement fiercely. Without schemas, you will lack micro-cross-platform Total Quality Management. Think super-dynamic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our capability to whiteboard. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We will matrix the power of users to deploy. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-enterprise. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!