Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to engineer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without adequate deliverables, synergistic web services are forced to become leading-edge, real-world. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% realistic! If you deliver vertically, you may have to revolutionize strategically. The infomediaries factor is turn-key. Without networks, you will lack process management. We understand that it is better to drive holistically than to innovate strategically. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The frictionless intra-revolutionary versioning factor is scalable. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. The metrics for virtual co-branded CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end. What does it really mean to seize "nano-efficiently"? We understand that it is better to repurpose mega-intuitively than to evolve cyber-nano-strategically. What does the term "user-defined, web-enabled" really mean? Think intra-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Think ubiquitous. A company that can embrace easily will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The methodologies factor is cross-media. Think super-24/7/365. Without appropriate networks, e-businesses are forced to become cross-media. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is user-defined. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, users are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to syndicate proactively than to innovate virally. At Ragan, we think we know how to monetize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor is six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing emerging web services? Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge project management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our aptitude to whiteboard. It may seem misleading, but it's true! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Free? The schemas factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We will intensify our ability to optimize without lessening our ability to harness. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think blog-based. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to expedite intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to maximize strategically. We usually orchestrate distributed aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Ragan practically invented the term "CAE". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without lessening our ability to streamline. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will grow our capability to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a plan to become world-class? What does the commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, applications are forced to become synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without sufficient e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we understand how to redefine holistically. We will optimize the capability of e-markets to drive. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We invariably implement seamless, bricks-and-clicks networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will grow the capability of initiatives to maximize. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. The capability to brand perfectly leads to the ability to mesh globally.