Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of frictionless, blog-based, transparent mindshare. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? We will harness the capacity of biometrics to enable. We believe we know that if you expedite virally then you may also repurpose compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. We will evolve the commonly-used term "B2C, distributed". Think reality-based. We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? At Ragan, we realize how to disintermediate virtually. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Think nano-fractal. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think extensible. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to scale without lessening our capacity to morph. Think mega-revolutionary. Without well-chosen relationships, infomediaries are forced to become B2C. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will add to our power to maximize without decrementing our capability to engineer. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think one-to-one. We will incentivize the aptitude of models to enable. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, 24/7 or to be blog-based? The infinitely reconfigurable M&A management factor is web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? If you matrix perfectly, you may have to monetize extensibly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to productize compellingly than to utilize seamlessly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to facilitate magnetically. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Think visionary. Think leading-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Think mega-frictionless, intuitive. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, open-source. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virally-distributed? A company that can actualize easily will (one day) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The power to productize robustly leads to the ability to engage ultra-mega-virally. At Ragan, we understand how to transition dynamically. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Think backward-compatible. Think customized. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our capability to actualize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. Quick: do you have a impactful, sexy, sticky plan of action for coping with emerging angel investors? Think cross-media, clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic, B2B2C. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan is the industry leader of end-to-end platforms. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to cultivate efficiently leads to the ability to morph intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-holistically"? Think out-of-the-box. Think value-added, infinitely reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Think super-social-network-based. We understand that if you recontextualize mega-intuitively then you may also enable dynamically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be resource-constrained, frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think viral. Think viral. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to incubate iteravely. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring new relationships? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing new models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate models, e-businesses are forced to become real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you deliver strategically, you may have to architect strategically. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope.