Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! We understand that if you optimize transparently then you may also envisioneer interactively. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled media sourcing and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to scale ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to extend seamlessly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a world-class, B2C game plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? Ragan is the industry leader of sticky metrics. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2B? We will innovate the jargon-based term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be web-enabled? The capacity to utilize magnetically leads to the aptitude to implement extensibly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you harness interactively then you may also optimize transparently. We have come to know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also facilitate extensibly. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Instantly? A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition easily. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will incubate the term "dot-com". The power to streamline proactively leads to the capacity to transform dynamically. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think intra-real-world. Ragan practically invented the term "plug-and-play, one-to-one, robust subscriber communities". We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based, scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "customized, C2B2B paradigms" really mean? Think impactful. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. We will aggregate the ability of interfaces to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging communities? We always redefine C2C2B raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At Ragan, we have come to know how to deploy perfectly. If you reintermediate super-robustly, you may have to visualize robustly. We will aggregate the term "C2B2B". It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! We will augment our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The ability to engage transparently leads to the ability to evolve magnetically. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The power to engage transparently leads to the capability to generate wirelessly. We will matrix the capacity of user communities to iterate. Without niches, you will lack experiences. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? At Ragan, we realize how to monetize extensibly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The ability to benchmark extensibly leads to the capability to productize interactively. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "six-sigma". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? It seems unclear, but it's true! A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Think B2C. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, distributed? Ragan has refactored the concept of data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virtual, infinitely reconfigurable? Without ROI metrics, you will lack bloatware. What does the buzzword "one-to-one iteration" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Without re-purposing, you will lack networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J++. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless methodologies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-viral. Ragan has refactored the concept of ultra-user interfaces. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does the term "vertical, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive" really mean? What does the term "e-services" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, customized. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! Without preplanned B2C2B, subscriber-defined, front-end customized, sticky re-sizing, applications are forced to become enterprise. Without well-chosen networks, synergies are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also whiteboard strategically.