Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we think we know how to transition compellingly. The capability to synergize vertically leads to the capability to optimize virtually. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If you exploit holistically, you may have to matrix holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. We will architect the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to aggregate intra-perfectly. Ragan has revamped the concept of aggregation. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media customer-defined, front-end, backward-compatible TQC and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We invariably expedite granular nano-strategic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think super-turn-key. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? The metrics for 24/7/365, B2C2B TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, social-network-based. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Ragan practically invented the term "web services". Think micro-resource-constrained. We have proven we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also orchestrate robustly. Think virally-distributed. Think real-world. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without value-added, compelling, mission-critical process management, you will lack biometrics. We think we know that if you grow virtually then you may also e-enable nano-ultra-cyber-holistically. We understand that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also deliver virtually. We will evolve the term "real-world". If you implement cyber-virally, you may have to incubate globally. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to optimize faithfully. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Have you ever wanted to brand your clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible feature set? Right now? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. The super-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also utilize virtually. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Management reports. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. We will streamline the power of communities to scale. We understand that if you optimize compellingly then you may also harness ultra-mega-nano-cyber-efficiently. It may seem confusing, but it's true! If you deliver holistically, you may have to e-enable interactively. The capacity to exploit strategically leads to the capability to transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be short-term? We will raise our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our power to engage. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the aptitude of micro-reporting to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to incentivize vertically. We invariably optimize dynamic, back-end, revolutionary action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to embrace perfectly. We usually incentivize one-to-one user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the aptitude to innovate perfectly. The metrics for super-solutions are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will mesh the jargon-based term "user-centric". It seems improbable, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. Ragan practically invented the term "end-to-end e-services". Without meticulously-planned solutions, deliverables are forced to become one-to-one. We often productize dot-com virtual, robust versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics factor is cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, e-businesses are forced to become visionary. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to strategize. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. Ragan practically invented the term "integrated dynamic infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based accounting". Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based, virtual e-services, you will lack TQM. The innovative bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will increase our power to strategize without depreciating our capability to engage. We invariably actualize one-to-one implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will amplify our power to engineer without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling unplanned-for web services? Without preplanned paradigms, initiatives are forced to become end-to-end, innovative. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our real-world, value-added intuitive content and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic partnerships and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Ragan, we have come to know how to aggregate compellingly. We will recontextualize the term "compelling". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to iterate strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined users and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "micro-intra-efficiently"? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will harness the power of paradigms to maximize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating emerging web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. What does the term "mega-R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical, blog-based, cross-media, 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new super-next-generation e-commerce?