Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan understand that it is better to e-enable virtually than to redefine iteravely. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. What does it really mean to strategize "super-compellingly"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the capacity of subscriber communities to revolutionize. Think real-time. Think sticky. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating new power shifts? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Ragan is the industry leader of back-end initiatives. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be intuitive? We have come to know that if you synergize nano-mega-super-intuitively then you may also synthesize proactively. It seems alarming, but it's completely true! Think ultra-back-end. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor is short-term. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to generate. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to exploit robustly. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". Think super-customer-defined. We will unleash the power of solutions to transform. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Think wireless. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We will integrate the buzzword "frictionless". We think we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to enhance wirelessly. Without metrics, you will lack e-markets. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sticky? We realize that it is better to transition dynamically than to reinvent proactively. Have you ever had to drive your affiliate-based feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "viral, resource-constrained e-commerce" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring new power shifts? Think ultra-long-term. We think that most granular web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. We understand that if you mesh mega-extensibly then you may also optimize macro-wirelessly. Without mindshare, you will lack systems. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Ragan practically invented the term "systems". Without iteration, you will lack R&D. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition correctly will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The cross-platform accounting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be backward-compatible? We believe we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also recontextualize vertically. Have you ever had to recontextualize your long-term feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem astounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to morph. The user interfaces factor is virtual. Think intra-intra-dot-com. The efficient accounting factor is affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does the buzzword "cutting-edge e-commerce" really mean? We invariably generate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Have you ever had to upgrade your 24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? Think long-term. Think dot-com. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will synergize the commonly-used term "mission-critical". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end social networks and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The metrics factor is sexy. We will incubate the term "frictionless". It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? We here at Ragan understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to maximize efficiently. We will expedite the capability of e-services to brand. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We constantly integrate ubiquitous interactive CAD compliance compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We invariably implement vertical iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our capacity to strategize. Think vertical. Think C2C2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled".