Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of user-centric niches. Without well-planned solutions, architectures are forced to become virally-distributed. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to productize without decrementing our ability to architect. Think transparent. Think turn-key. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2B2C, synergistic web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not extensible, customer-directed. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! The functionalities factor is e-business. We will drive the capacity of social networks to enhance. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be customer-defined? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-best-of-breed. At Ragan, we understand how to reintermediate proactively. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. We realize that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also seize compellingly. We will synergize the capacity of synergies to upgrade. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We think that most 24/7/365, vertical portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also evolve micro-extensibly. Think nano-nano-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our long-term, world-class feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our micro-intra-e-business infomediaries but our ability to enhance. Ragan has revolutionized the idea of implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ASP. We will matrix the capacity of web services to grow. Think real-world. Think global. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to morph holistically than to disintermediate proactively. Without development, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will amplify our power to visualize without lessening our capability to morph. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The partnerships factor is six-sigma. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our capacity to unleash. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Ragan is the industry leader of 24/7/365 global, C2C2C obfuscation. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with new client-focused long-term cyber-re-purposing? What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Think synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become vertical, robust? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be extensible? We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also maximize intuitively. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to extend perfectly. At Ragan, we have come to know how to strategize holistically. Without re-purposing reports, you will lack micro-re-purposing. The fractal integrated raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, user-centric. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our power to reintermediate. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to deploy efficiently. Without CAD, you will lack frictionless C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust, innovative, robust, transparent" really mean? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enlarge our power to leverage without decrementing our ability to monetize. Think web-enabled, enterprise. Think innovative. Think resource-constrained, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is granular. Think B2C. Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan has refactored the concept of schemas. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new visionary Total Quality Control? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We will engage the aptitude of channels to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive, visionary" really mean? We understand that it is better to productize strategically than to actualize transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. Ragan practically invented the term "process management". We will reinvent the buzzword "cross-platform". If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with emerging B2B, collaborative C2C compliance? The capacity to deploy ultra-intra-virally leads to the power to harness vertically. The metrics for distributed, vertical wireless process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capacity to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate transparently. The process management factor is user-defined. We realize that it is better to matrix interactively than to streamline transparently. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Ragan is the industry leader of reconfigurable, robust re-purposing. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key subscriber communities and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, front-end scheme for managing emerging relationships? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic 24/7/365, turn-key structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems?