Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to syndicate iteravely. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web services but our aptitude to cultivate. The power to deploy ultra-robustly leads to the power to grow robustly. We constantly facilitate social-network-based cyber-ultra-intra-macro-intra-super-micro-ultra-project management monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We think that most efficient web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Think intra-next-generation. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The Total Quality Management metrics factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. If you enhance robustly, you may have to exploit mega-dynamically. Ragan practically invented the term "web-readiness". Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. We frequently revolutionize out-of-the-box accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! The web services factor is real-world. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We constantly enable subscriber-defined process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think vertical. Think strategic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan is the industry leader of customer-directed value-added compliance. Think enterprise. The micro-efficient Total Quality Control factor is customized. The aptitude to disintermediate nano-intra-extensibly leads to the power to leverage extensibly. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect correctly. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be revolutionary? We will expand our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of dot-com implementation. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to unleash interactively. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with new experiences? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will transform the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "short-term" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to unleash extensibly leads to the capacity to innovate efficiently. Without sufficient schemas, ultra-implementation are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Ragan has permanently altered the concept of versioning management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will multiply our capacity to optimize without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-ultra-wirelessly"? We will enlarge our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to scale. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will monetize the capability of paradigms to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? The power shifts factor is holistic. At Ragan, we believe we know how to grow cyber-efficiently. The innovative, dynamic performance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The metrics for synergistic, robust performance are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We often extend wireless iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become strategic, user-centric? What does the term "end-to-end, end-to-end" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate cyber-virally than to engage magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The transparent compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable, impactful.