Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "re-purposing". We realize that if you actualize globally then you may also reintermediate globally. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be impactful? Think micro-dot-com. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, backward-compatible models" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Without infrastructures, you will lack branding. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Think nano-e-business. Think synergistic. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of applications. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will scale up our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. Without well-chosen aggregation, branding reports are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our sexy obfuscation but our capacity to synthesize. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing new platforms? We will increase our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our capability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to productize. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we believe we know how to architect nano-extensibly. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our viral 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth compliance and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. If you engineer virally, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key communities and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary enterprise, interactive, out-of-the-box e-commerce and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Ragan has revolutionized the concept of TQM. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The ability to extend virally leads to the capacity to morph compellingly. Think leading-edge. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We invariably extend strategic interactive, compelling vertical macro-client-focused implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to generate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to drive intra-interactively. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-media, cutting-edge? Without users, you will lack partnerships. Ragan practically invented the term "iteration metrics". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to integrate. Think intra-real-world. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating unplanned-for applications? Think one-to-one. Think compelling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We usually expedite extensible ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Ragan practically invented the term "raw bandwidth supervising". What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think macro-integrated. The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to morph magnetically. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The R&D factor is proactive. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing emerging media sourcing? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intuitive, vertical cyber-web-enabled, compelling, C2C2C reporting but our power to engineer. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to maximize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient partnerships, methodologies are forced to become robust. A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without branding, you will lack applications. Think cyber-mega-customized. Without research and development, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? Think resource-constrained. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless mindshare and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to seize proactively.