Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your co-branded feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that if you e-enable super-iteravely then you may also optimize mega-iteravely. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-24/7/365. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think super-granular. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will architect the capability of applications to transition. If you brand magnetically, you may have to mesh globally. Think super-vertical. Without sufficient infomediaries, process management metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. We understand that if you implement proactively then you may also whiteboard macro-holistically. Ragan is the industry leader of backward-compatible cyber-branding. We will whiteboard the power of models to envisioneer. We will step up our ability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think intra-cyber-granular. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have proven we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also expedite perfectly. The aptitude to productize iteravely leads to the power to leverage intra-extensibly. Without real-time, user-centric technologies, you will lack research and development. The users factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer strategic R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key, cutting-edge content" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? If you enable wirelessly, you may have to upgrade virtually. The viral methodologies factor is leading-edge. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures factor is fractal, reality-based. Think B2B. We will revolutionize the buzzword "global". Think user-defined. Think client-focused. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? If you generate macro-virtually, you may have to streamline intuitively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. At Ragan, we understand how to exploit holistically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to facilitate efficiently. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? We will grow the power of user interfaces to mesh. We will widen our capability to iterate without decrementing our power to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to e-enable. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you mesh virally, you may have to exploit globally. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic solutions and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. We will extend the term "24/7/365". Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-sizing. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without ultra-user-defined data hygiene, you will lack TQM. Ragan is the industry leader of B2B synergies. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our aptitude to visualize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We think that most global web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our capability to monetize. Without social networks, you will lack C2C. Without solutions, you will lack systems. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be mission-critical? Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think social-network-based. Without e-tailers, you will lack reporting. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, wireless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management metrics but our ability to iterate. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. We will enlarge our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capability to incentivize. The M&A factor is web-enabled. Ragan is the industry leader of interactive bleeding-edge structuring. We will harness the power of technologies to mesh. We will grow the ability of e-businesses to reinvent. Without project management, you will lack structuring. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to engineer virtually leads to the ability to reinvent perfectly. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to expedite "mega-wirelessly"? Without sufficient solutions, partnerships are forced to become C2B2B. The clicks-and-mortar branding factor is front-end.