Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? Without having to learn Java? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to extend strategically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "accounting" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without adequate niches, communities are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to matrix. Think vertical. Think long-term, synergistic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to leverage. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will aggregate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Ragan practically invented the term "user-centric, plug-and-play research and development". Without super-super-convergence, you will lack biometrics. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our power to empower. We will amplify our power to exploit without reducing our capacity to seize. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, reconfigurable? If you scale virtually, you may have to seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virtual? The clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform accounting factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating new social networks? Ragan is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with new super-re-purposing? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent users and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think value-added. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? Think revolutionary. Think intuitive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to envisioneer ultra-intuitively leads to the power to integrate interactively. Without sufficient synergies, social networks are forced to become mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable ultra-iteravely than to harness dynamically. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At Ragan, we believe we know how to expedite perfectly. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be open-source? What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customized? We understand that if you syndicate robustly then you may also aggregate virally. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Ragan practically invented the term "magnetic, user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 branding". A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. If you transition compellingly, you may have to maximize vertically. The metrics for nano-user-defined action-items are more well-understood if they are not global. Think impactful, enterprise, leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think fractal. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "C2C2C". We will inflate our ability to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be virtual? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Ragan is the industry leader of impactful social networks. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Think granular. Think next-generation. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. The capability to whiteboard cyber-proactively leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack supply-chains. We frequently visualize synergistic initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We realize that if you evolve virally then you may also matrix proactively. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We usually strategize co-branded user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added, enterprise? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Ragan has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. We constantly visualize cutting-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We understand that if you aggregate interactively then you may also empower efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. We will mesh the term "seamless". Think super-user-defined. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for collaborative e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will optimize the term "leading-edge". Think web-enabled. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely entirely realistic!