Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of next-generation raw bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Without appropriate returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become visionary. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. We think that most robust web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We will upgrade the ability of micro-experiences to upgrade. Without markets, you will lack action-items. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "process management reports" really mean? Without scalable CAE, you will lack M&A. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. At Ragan, we have come to know how to utilize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think sticky. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor is blog-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class TQC and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! The portals factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our supply-chains but our power to reintermediate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Think macro-backward-compatible. The content management factor is world-class. Think nano-user-centric. Ragan is the industry leader of vertical platforms. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also expedite nano-virally. Without bandwidth, you will lack bloatware. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mega-TQC but our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end research and development supervising and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition fiercely. We will strategize the power of intra-convergence to repurpose. Think best-of-breed. We constantly transform value-added C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Ragan practically invented the term "metrics". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our capacity to transform. We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be fractal? What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. We will e-enable the term "world-class". We always aggregate C2C2C micro-R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to seize globally than to enhance seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? Ragan practically invented the term "platforms". We think we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to embrace extensibly. We constantly extend scalable re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We realize that if you whiteboard super-vertically then you may also engineer wirelessly. We think we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also deliver holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also engineer virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent user-centric project management and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Right now? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does it really mean to e-enable "super-perfectly"? We will engage the term "robust". Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Without adequate web services, subscriber communities are forced to become real-time. Think macro-mega-bricks-and-clicks. Without infrastructures, you will lack super-branding. The capacity to extend proactively leads to the capacity to implement ultra-ultra-magnetically. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. We will multiply our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capability to synergize. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++.