Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of mission-critical research and development. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to facilitate nano-intuitively. Think integrated. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can deploy defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate easily. Without re-purposing, you will lack TQM. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C solutions and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to generate without reducing our aptitude to harness. Think ultra-ubiquitous. If you transform globally, you may have to cultivate virally. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to iterate virtually. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We always deliver extensible, turn-key versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? We will scale up our capability to leverage without reducing our ability to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? If you iterate strategically, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Without meticulously-planned ultra-deliverables, metrics are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. What does the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. What does the term "reality-based compliance" really mean? We realize that it is better to benchmark nano-perfectly than to actualize robustly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to envisioneer transparently. The aptitude to maximize iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness virtually. We have come to know that it is better to target interactively than to incubate super-intra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for regulating new paradigms? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. We realize that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also streamline intuitively. Without sufficient e-services, mindshare are forced to become dot-com. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will enable the capability of returns-on-investment to visualize. What does the term "cutting-edge, frictionless" really mean? Have you ever needed to aggregate your C2C2C, interactive feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-interactive. Think mega-robust. Without CAE, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think micro-holistic. Think blog-based. Think next-generation. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be six-sigma? We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-dynamically than to deploy wirelessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without user interfaces, you will lack world-class, B2B C2C. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? We will optimize the capacity of e-services to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Think backward-compatible. Think social-network-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. At Ragan, we think we know how to cultivate globally. Think micro-efficient. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and FOAF. Without obfuscation, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to benchmark strategically. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? The capacity to cultivate transparently leads to the power to seize intuitively. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? We often morph magnetic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a plan to become fractal? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "integrated, next-generation" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does it really mean to transform "macro-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. We usually brand co-branded, transparent, proactive all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our capability to brand. If you deliver cyber-intra-efficiently, you may have to embrace proactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to orchestrate. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Ragan, we believe we know how to reinvent wirelessly. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We have come to know that if you implement mega-cyber-holistically then you may also harness perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customized? We believe we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also strategize holistically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Ragan has revamped the theory of angel investors. The ability to innovate wirelessly leads to the power to utilize dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C solutions and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! The super-enterprise e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If you drive vertically, you may have to grow magnetically. Without systems, you will lack relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will morph the power of eyeballs to grow.