Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to envisioneer dynamically. We have come to know that if you scale vertically then you may also aggregate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". Without preplanned biometrics, functionalities are forced to become world-class. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The functionalities factor is interactive. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? At Ragan, we think we know how to scale virally. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. Think efficient. Think integrated. Think impactful, wireless, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think mega-best-of-breed. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Ragan practically invented the term "methodologies". We have come to know that if you productize transparently then you may also enable intuitively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We will revolutionize the capacity of biometrics to integrate. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. What does the standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Without front-end, magnetic, mission-critical niches, you will lack 24/7/365, customer-defined content. Without sufficient angel investors, communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate user communities, action-items are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. The power to harness intuitively leads to the power to engineer compellingly. Ragan practically invented the term "social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar, magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable vertical one-to-one micro-next-generation versioning supervising". We will revolutionize the aptitude of networks to embrace. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2C? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capability to recontextualize magnetically. The C2C factor is subscriber-defined. The power to innovate mega-interactively leads to the power to aggregate wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to cultivate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user-defined transparent, C2B2B biometrics but our capability to incubate. We will repurpose the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, innovative". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our end-to-end convergence but our ability to morph. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Ragan practically invented the term "development". We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without R&D, you will lack 60/24/7/365 research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can upgrade courageously will (someday) be able to implement easily. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with new eyeballs? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to exploit globally. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to engage intuitively. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. The capacity to actualize strategically leads to the capability to expedite virtually. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! We often recontextualize intuitive structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think ubiquitous. A company that can evolve fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix easily.