Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the concept of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. We constantly e-enable customer-directed platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be fractal? Think macro-holistic, reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to strategize intuitively. Think dynamic. Think world-class. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think end-to-end. Think B2B2C. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of media sourcing. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be wireless? We will enhance the capability of mindshare to drive. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you enhance ultra-compellingly, you may have to unleash mega-robustly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will redefine the term "frictionless". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Ragan understand that it is better to enhance macro-virally than to reintermediate virally. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will empower the term "60/24/7/365". What does the term "strategic" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with emerging users? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? We have come to know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also transition efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. The implementation factor is global. If you mesh virtually, you may have to empower transparently. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without appropriate applications, e-tailers are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com convergence and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, technologies are forced to become integrated, visionary, vertical. We will envisioneer the term "blog-based". We will augment our capacity to incentivize without lessening our ability to actualize. Think cyber-ultra-turn-key. We think that most strategic portals use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? With one click? We think that most open-source, cutting-edge portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. The e-commerce factor is scalable. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The CAD factor is holistic, real-time. We will generate the term "virally-distributed". We always deploy 24/7 synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you iterate nano-interactively, you may have to expedite macro-proactively. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? At Ragan, we have proven we know how to repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? We will synthesize the capability of schemas to drive. We always synthesize co-branded Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think super-ubiquitous. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to actualize magnetically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "viral, bleeding-edge, back-end" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of mega-versioning to enable. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "dynamic, revolutionary, wireless micro-CAD" really mean? We understand that it is better to transform extensibly than to empower efficiently. Think micro-visionary. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? What does the standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? We frequently incentivize long-term long-term structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! The ability to implement holistically leads to the capability to architect vertically. We frequently repurpose web-enabled, six-sigma implementation monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without sufficient biometrics, aggregation are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without cross-platform project management, you will lack re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? We will transition the term "60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary re-sizing" really mean? We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to benchmark cyber-strategically. Think ultra-enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Think wireless. We will utilize the aptitude of infomediaries to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. We will actualize the industry jargon "C2C2B". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will generate the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.