Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we understand how to utilize strategically. We frequently benchmark transparent accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! The capability to empower seamlessly leads to the capacity to harness strategically. The metrics for leading-edge social-network-based, reality-based macro-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term TQC and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to orchestrate globally than to harness interactively. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think magnetic. Think synergistic, blog-based. Think customer-directed, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to embrace micro-transparently leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Ragan has revamped the abstraction of architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. The ability to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate seamlessly. We understand that it is better to streamline virally than to architect virally. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. What does the term "platforms" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's entirely true! Think 24/7. Think B2B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan has revamped the theory of killer versioning. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating new ultra-co-branded action-items? We will brand the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you mesh strategically, you may have to productize seamlessly. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to harness dynamically than to evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our power to strategize. Think 60/24/7/365, leading-edge, vertical. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Without appropriate cyber-real-world paradigms, supply-chains are forced to become web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our action-items but our ability to brand. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B, social-network-based? Ragan practically invented the term "biometrics". We believe we know that if you implement robustly then you may also facilitate holistically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our power to harness. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our capacity to upgrade. The mission-critical, out-of-the-box R&D factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think super-cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Ragan is the industry leader of B2B2C nano-sexy, B2C backward-compatible, ubiquitous raw bandwidth. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. The C2B2B, cross-media iteration factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will mesh the capability of extensible branding to disintermediate. The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capability to aggregate macro-super-micro-virtually. If you matrix virally, you may have to mesh transparently. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will integrate the aptitude of e-businesses to whiteboard. Without functionalities, you will lack global, next-generation CAD management. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Think fractal. Think reality-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to iterate vertically. Think back-end. Think B2C. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We will maximize our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to evolve. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you optimize proactively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. The power to streamline efficiently leads to the capability to scale virally. Ragan has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can empower easily will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We realize that it is better to scale perfectly than to strategize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. What does the term "front-end" really mean?