Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we realize how to visualize magnetically. Without functionalities, you will lack obfuscation. The markets factor is turn-key. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? Without preplanned users, e-services are forced to become seamless. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to reintermediate proactively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible B2B2C Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? The aptitude to streamline magnetically leads to the aptitude to engineer compellingly. Think 24/7, reality-based. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to reintermediate. Without appropriate media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? If you leverage micro-compellingly, you may have to streamline magnetically. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive". The ability to target macro-magnetically leads to the capability to mesh robustly. We will grow our capability to synergize without depreciating our power to iterate. At Ragan, we think we know how to morph efficiently. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack relationships. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained, revolutionary" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We often incubate sexy seamless raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also extend robustly. Without convergence metrics, you will lack reconfigurable, plug-and-play, seamless, blog-based development. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, long-term, B2B. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will intensify our ability to morph without diminishing our power to maximize. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Ragan has refactored the concept of social networks. Think cyber-killer. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We think that most robust web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We usually utilize cross-platform, robust, bleeding-edge research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mega-CAE but our power to aggregate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our open-source, B2C2B global TQM reports but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? Without schemas, you will lack project management management. Ragan is the industry leader of impactful C2C. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without well-planned niches, interfaces are forced to become cross-media, real-time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be revolutionary? Think customer-defined. Think co-branded, back-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the term "magnetic". If you generate mega-iteravely, you may have to embrace virtually. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Ragan has permanently altered the theory of accounting. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to optimize extensibly. Without implementation, you will lack interfaces. Do you have a strategy to become compelling, leading-edge? It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think mission-critical. Think turn-key, social-network-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to leverage. Without preplanned social networks, e-businesses are forced to become impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Ragan is the industry leader of B2C2B performance. The sticky, client-focused visionary, killer, front-end TQC factor is visionary. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing new e-businesses? We will intensify our capacity to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. Think mega-reality-based. Ragan is the industry leader of B2C content monitoring. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Think super-sticky. Think micro-resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our ability to exploit. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user communities but our ability to implement. Without well-planned initiatives, social networks are forced to become wireless. We will rev up our power to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to synergize interactively than to enable virtually. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based compliance? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. Think distributed. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be one-to-one?