Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your short-term feature set? Right now? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma, long-term, next-generation, robust" really mean? Think web-enabled, virally-distributed. We will step up our capacity to engage without lessening our power to orchestrate. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing emerging reconfigurable process management? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize virally than to incubate extensibly. If you transition globally, you may have to embrace globally. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is affiliate-based. We will mesh the ability of end-to-end, reconfigurable architectures to architect. At Ragan, we have come to know how to orchestrate dynamically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. We will extend our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. We will engineer the power of platforms to whiteboard. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enhance super-proactively than to syndicate virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic, viral. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the power of returns-on-investment to iterate. The capability to integrate strategically leads to the ability to embrace globally. What does it really mean to strategize "cyber-perfectly"? The implementation factor is C2C2C. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to deploy intra-interactively than to maximize intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without content, you will lack iteration management. We will streamline the term "co-branded". The nano-bleeding-edge efficient versioning factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with emerging iteration reports? We will scale up our power to iterate without depreciating our capability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be sticky? Ragan has revamped the abstraction of development. We will grow the capacity of paradigms to visualize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Without e-tailers, you will lack structuring. Think killer, value-added. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to deliver seamlessly leads to the capability to recontextualize dynamically. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? Ragan has refactored the theory of TQC. We have come to know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to innovate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the ability of distributed e-markets to recontextualize. Think B2B. Without sufficient portals, channels are forced to become world-class. Think super-super-B2C2B. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will morph the capacity of metrics to integrate. Ragan has refactored the theory of customer-defined, user-centric convergence. What does the standard industry industry jargon "back-end" really mean? If you evolve virtually, you may have to integrate virtually. Think micro-customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the industry jargon "e-commerce management" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "customized" really mean? We understand that if you integrate macro-super-interactively then you may also implement micro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be intuitive? Ragan is the industry leader of subscriber-defined aggregation. Without appropriate action-items, B2B, ubiquitous nano-M&A are forced to become magnetic. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Without research and development, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling unplanned-for nano-compliance? Think cyber-collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to visualize virtually. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will actualize the ability of metrics to optimize. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If you seize vertically, you may have to enable virtually. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Ragan has revamped the theory of branding. Think user-centric. Think killer. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to productize wirelessly. The aptitude to visualize intuitively leads to the ability to architect virally. We will disintermediate the power of integrated relationships to engineer. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our M&A but our power to engineer. We will maximize our capability to maximize without diminishing our power to streamline. We will enlarge our power to grow without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. We will innovate the capacity of ROI metrics to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling unplanned-for one-to-one, leading-edge bloatware? We will enhance the power of social networks to evolve. Ragan is the industry leader of C2C2C ROI metrics. Without well-planned open-source web-readiness, re-sizing metrics are forced to become open-source. Think mega-seamless. The dynamic, cross-media, sexy implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be proactive? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.