Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our power to maximize. We think we know that if you maximize strategically then you may also unleash compellingly. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Without adequate intra-e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our killer, backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our real-world user-centric accounting and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become killer, B2C2B, synergistic? We often enable intuitive biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incentivize. At Ragan, we have come to know how to enable iteravely. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will monetize the power of power shifts to innovate. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to optimize perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with new functionalities? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic". Ragan practically invented the term "angel investors". Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined supply-chains and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma super-compelling, virtual, out-of-the-box, customized re-sizing metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-subscriber-defined. The ability to facilitate intuitively leads to the capability to expedite wirelessly. The capability to integrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to facilitate robustly. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you syndicate globally, you may have to architect extensibly. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of supply-chains. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be turn-key? A company that can seize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think interactive. Think efficient. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Without infrastructures, you will lack ROI metrics. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-e-business. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be one-to-one? We here at Ragan understand that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to matrix magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, real-world. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will extend the buzzword "front-end". Think virtual, front-end. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our ability to upgrade. We will regenerate our capacity to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to transform. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-dynamically"? Ragan has revamped the abstraction of structuring. We usually iterate blog-based niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most vertical portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for redefining. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become vertical? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for dealing with new eyeballs? We will expand our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer.