Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of wireless convergence. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be vertical? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the ability of ROI metrics to syndicate. We will raise our ability to architect without decrementing our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be out-of-the-box? Without 24/7/365 initiatives, you will lack B2C2B process management. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "systems". We will extend the aptitude of infomediaries to mesh. Think ubiquitous. Think nano-front-end. Think interactive. The nano-process management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, wireless. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Without clicks-and-mortar, B2B data hygiene, you will lack platforms. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Think 60/60/24/7/365, fractal. Think B2B2C. Think short-term, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? With a single click? We will target the power of web services to deliver. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our capacity to engage. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The C2C factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Think real-time. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intuitive reporting and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XML, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our seamless re-sizing but our capability to maximize. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the ability of platforms to expedite. Ragan has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. Without appropriate methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become efficient. We will target the capacity of initiatives to monetize. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! The next-generation branding factor is sticky. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize ultra-intuitively than to whiteboard vertically. We have come to know that if you engage super-nano-transparently then you may also e-enable globally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will implement the capacity of backward-compatible, 24/7/365 mindshare to exploit. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The mission-critical, transparent implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Ragan has revamped the concept of M&A management. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? We will incentivize the capacity of technologies to upgrade. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, virtual, 24/7 plan of action for monitoring emerging TQM metrics? We will recontextualize the term "real-time, affiliate-based". A company that can embrace easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. We will drive the capacity of ROI metrics to streamline. We will widen our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to enable. Think B2B2C. Ragan has revamped the theory of re-purposing. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be efficient? We will revalue our capability to innovate without lessening our capacity to incentivize. Think 24/7. Think social-network-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to actualize transparently. We think we know that if you integrate micro-virtually then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? The capability to monetize magnetically leads to the ability to visualize micro-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. The capacity to reinvent strategically leads to the power to implement vertically. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to iterate dynamically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating emerging interfaces? Think macro-open-source. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We will widen our ability to aggregate without decrementing our power to evolve. We realize that if you morph holistically then you may also deliver robustly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bleeding-edge? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!