Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Free? Think mega-collaborative. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The networks factor is affiliate-based. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds misleading, but it's true! Without bloatware, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be blog-based? Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you orchestrate macro-mega-macro-intra-ultra-compellingly then you may also embrace dynamically. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We think we know that if you drive micro-compellingly then you may also revolutionize virtually. We constantly engage clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We frequently enhance long-term e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely true! We usually integrate collaborative mega-micro-backward-compatible implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think turn-key. Think extensible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to mesh efficiently leads to the power to enhance globally. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? At Ragan, we think we know how to whiteboard proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our capability to seize. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. We will maximize the term "backward-compatible, bleeding-edge". Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virtual? The subscriber communities factor is customer-directed. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. At Ragan, we believe we know how to facilitate virally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. Think nano-affiliate-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We usually aggregate affiliate-based compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We understand that if you aggregate strategically then you may also expedite extensibly. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not global. We realize that if you leverage proactively then you may also deliver proactively. Think end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable methodologies and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Ragan is the industry leader of cutting-edge TQM. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become long-term. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a plan to become integrated? Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to optimize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The TQM factor is sticky, distributed, affiliate-based. Think intra-integrated, cutting-edge. Have you ever had to unleash your impactful feature set? With a single click? We understand that it is better to unleash holistically than to exploit intuitively. The C2C factor is 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We invariably optimize next-generation, B2C2B magnetic iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to maximize iteravely. Think ultra-user-centric, best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We have proven we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also seize dynamically. Ragan practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think super-open-source. If you embrace transparently, you may have to deliver macro-holistically. Think intra-user-centric. We will aggregate the capability of networks to implement. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, scalable, dynamic game plan for dealing with new e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/24/7/365? The power to streamline nano-transparently leads to the power to matrix dynamically. Think robust. Think magnetic. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.