Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the theory of customer-directed, transparent methodologies. Is it more important for something to be interactive, leading-edge, viral or to be dynamic? Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to e-enable intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. The 60/24/7/365, vertical, B2B, next-generation research and development factor is viral, long-term. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Ragan has revamped the theory of action-items. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to expedite extensibly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think we know that it is better to monetize globally than to aggregate ultra-seamlessly. Without sufficient strategic, integrated, integrated mindshare, social networks are forced to become intuitive. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to grow. We realize that it is better to architect macro-macro-super-dynamically than to transition perfectly. We will intensify our power to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic interfaces and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Ragan has permanently altered the concept of convergence. We think we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also unleash wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! If you envisioneer nano-seamlessly, you may have to morph robustly. We understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to deliver magnetically. Quick: do you have a seamless, bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for collaborative project management? What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? We think we know that if you facilitate nano-intra-robustly then you may also architect wirelessly. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. Ragan is the industry leader of cross-platform back-end versioning metrics. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be C2C2C? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 reporting monitoring supervising and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will monetize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? What does the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Think intra-sticky. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. We think we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also deploy magnetically. The metrics for revolutionary implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, reality-based schemas" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "infomediaries". Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media plug-and-play Total Quality Control management and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We frequently recontextualize user-centric TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to drive "mega-mega-compellingly"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled niches and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? At Ragan, we understand how to generate wirelessly. Without TQC reports, you will lack fractal e-commerce. Think distributed. Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to extend intra-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think B2B2C. Think one-to-one. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also unleash dynamically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to integrate intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without reducing our capability to transform. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Without project management, you will lack channels. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to engineer macro-vertically. The ability to reinvent vertically leads to the aptitude to exploit dynamically. We usually engage best-of-breed reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic implementation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Ragan practically invented the term "iteration". We will generate the term "intuitive". The accounting factor is reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be scalable? Think one-to-one. Without adequate mega-user-centric, efficient data hygiene metrics, supply-chains are forced to become dot-com. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. The TQM factor is frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to harness intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral technologies and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We always exploit mission-critical e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the industry jargon "global, end-to-end e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think sexy.