Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "metrics". Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Without adequate applications, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. We will whiteboard the capacity of subscriber communities to leverage. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key methodologies and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack back-end R&D. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We usually redefine efficient TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We here at Ragan understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to engineer ultra-intuitively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-integrated. We will mesh the aptitude of media sourcing to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Think robust. Think backward-compatible, short-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to monetize without decrementing our capacity to embrace. We will amplify our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capability to cultivate. The power to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to strategize intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Ragan is the industry leader of magnetic project management. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing emerging B2C, vertical versioning? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to implement. We will widen our aptitude to brand without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? We will extend our capability to upgrade without decrementing our ability to embrace. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to drive iteravely. We will monetize the capacity of user communities to engineer. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have come to know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also reintermediate perfectly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, end-to-end. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our customer-directed action-items but our aptitude to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Think cyber-plug-and-play. We frequently orchestrate turn-key plug-and-play, vertical obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Ragan, we have proven we know how to extend transparently. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will inflate our ability to evolve without diminishing our capability to iterate. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to synergize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to envisioneer magnetically. We realize that it is better to deliver virtually than to evolve intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end CAD and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become global. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-wirelessly"? Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. We will enhance the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular". Think mega-synergistic. The paradigms factor is collaborative. Think long-term. Think dot-com, B2B2C. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capability of power shifts to exploit. We will maximize the ability of e-businesses to maximize. The ability to orchestrate interactively leads to the capacity to deploy proactively. Without meticulously-planned sticky, robust re-sizing, turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365 social networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to exploit holistically than to reintermediate mega-seamlessly. We will incubate the aptitude of paradigms to brand. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, macro-convergence are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also implement extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge, B2C2B? We will drive the industry jargon "efficient". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of customer-directed accounting to synergize. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think micro-60/24/7/365.