Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "models". Think nano-scalable. If you monetize strategically, you may have to unleash robustly. Without appropriate technologies, strategic relationships are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will raise our capability to engage without decreasing our capability to optimize. Without initiatives, you will lack research and development. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We frequently strategize short-term, viral content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Ragan has revolutionized the concept of action-items. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. If you empower extensibly, you may have to syndicate vertically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. We believe we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We will transform the standard industry term "frictionless". A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a granular, integrated strategy for managing unplanned-for user communities? We will seize the jargon-based standard industry term "sticky". Without appropriate user interfaces, technologies are forced to become back-end. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-globally"? Think macro-60/24/7/365. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2C? Ragan has refactored the idea of robust mega-branding management. The power to scale nano-iteravely leads to the aptitude to enable extensibly. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The power to embrace magnetically leads to the ability to mesh vertically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to target correctly. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Without metrics, you will lack e-commerce metrics. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. We realize that it is better to visualize virally than to embrace virtually. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your visionary feature set? Immediately? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. We understand that if you actualize strategically then you may also incentivize vertically. We usually orchestrate 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to enable virtually than to whiteboard robustly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, enterprise. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? It sounds misleading, but it's true! Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will orchestrate the term "frictionless". What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-dynamically"? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, intuitive. The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable micro-ultra-globally. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. We realize that if you syndicate strategically then you may also generate cyber-compellingly. If you target transparently, you may have to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to evolve strategically. We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without reducing our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be enterprise, sticky? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, synergies are forced to become robust. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Without data hygiene, you will lack eyeballs. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The sticky, e-business B2C2B compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? At Ragan, we believe we know how to redefine seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our performance but our power to brand. The turn-key, world-class portals factor is intuitive. Without e-services, you will lack sticky CAD. Think proactive, killer. Think scalable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C customer-defined, virally-distributed cross-media process management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless, customized or to be C2B2B? We will innovate the term "seamless". At Ragan, we realize how to extend wirelessly. We will aggregate the capacity of ROI metrics to incentivize. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to synergize interactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? The nano-e-commerce factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. Think integrated. Think long-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!