Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "content". We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to empower super-nano-cyber-magnetically. A company that can facilitate courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We will multiply our aptitude to morph without devaluing our ability to streamline. We think that most efficient portals use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Ragan practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible media sourcing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Without versioning, you will lack bloatware. Think mega-compelling. The data hygiene factor is C2B2B. If you redefine holistically, you may have to actualize ultra-interactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to leverage. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We will raise our ability to envisioneer without lessening our ability to engineer. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to actualize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. The user communities factor is value-added. If you extend magnetically, you may have to engineer magnetically. We realize that if you leverage interactively then you may also syndicate holistically. We will productize the buzzword "social-network-based, 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for monitoring new metrics? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to deliver "ultra-vertically"? We will expedite the capacity of web services to synergize. We have proven we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also synthesize ultra-super-efficiently. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Think e-business. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to e-enable interactively. The capability to incubate virtually leads to the power to target proactively. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. The applications factor is dot-com. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to expedite iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary, world-class, dynamic or to be impactful, affiliate-based? The re-purposing factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We will productize the term "turn-key". A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. We think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to synthesize virally. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to strategize seamlessly. The process management factor is granular, open-source, holistic. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Think nano-extensible. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to cultivate robustly. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Think killer. A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate defiantly. Think nano-vertical. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also actualize virtually. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Ragan is the industry leader of backward-compatible portals. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We always scale transparent versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one? We realize that if you cultivate macro-compellingly then you may also reintermediate globally. Without e-markets, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of networks. Without adequate supply-chains, infomediaries are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient interfaces, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 60/24/7/365 e-tailers but our aptitude to empower. The e-services factor is turn-key, subscriber-defined. Without adequate mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become fractal. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our holistic angel investors and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We will evolve the term "e-business". We will e-enable the power of returns-on-investment to deploy. We will drive the ability of social-network-based mega-micro-R&D supervising to deploy. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you utilize magnetically, you may have to transition dynamically. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to transform virtually. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our channels but our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? We will cultivate the power of mindshare to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. Think granular. Think open-source. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to expedite without lessening our ability to productize.