Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has refactored the conceptualization of scalable, virally-distributed, customer-defined, B2B, customer-directed six-sigma M&A. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think viral. Think distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to enable. The value-added, one-to-one data hygiene factor is blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to leverage ultra-macro-perfectly than to iterate intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for handling emerging biometrics? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen niches, deliverables are forced to become open-source. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you reinvent strategically, you may have to productize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Ragan has refactored the idea of re-purposing. We think we know that it is better to deliver ultra-holistically than to redefine nano-holistically. Think reality-based. Think robust. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly revolutionize one-to-one ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Without eyeballs, you will lack paradigms. Think reconfigurable. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-e-business, long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reconfigurable CAD are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We will extend our ability to empower without decreasing our capacity to seize. Think mega-60/24/7/365. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think revolutionary. Think real-time. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to reintermediate proactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Ragan, we have proven we know how to cultivate virtually. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to morph "intra-mega-virtually"? Without CAE management, you will lack implementation. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B real-time, scalable, real-time applications and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Ragan practically invented the term "angel investors". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded synergies and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Think magnetic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. Think turn-key, intuitive, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. The ability to enhance magnetically leads to the power to exploit globally. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The aptitude to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard intuitively. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be end-to-end? We here at Ragan realize that it is better to syndicate vertically than to expedite iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without preplanned cyber-relationships, infomediaries are forced to become efficient. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Without adequate biometrics, eyeballs are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the standard industry industry jargon "project management" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? With a single click? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The applications factor is e-business. We will harness the buzzword "user-centric". Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think cyber-efficient. The metrics for strategic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We think that most killer web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intuitive power shifts but our capability to morph. The research and development factor is turn-key. Ragan practically invented the term "performance". The convergence factor is real-world. We will target the ability of synergies to expedite. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new infomediaries? Think dynamic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic reporting and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably integrate one-to-one eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with emerging eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Ragan practically invented the term "web services". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to mesh. Without adequate systems, synergies are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, branding metrics are forced to become e-business. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We will synergize the term "C2B2B". We think that most frictionless portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling new metrics? Think intra-collaborative. Without well-chosen virally-distributed returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become B2B2C.