Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we understand how to extend robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? Without appropriate e-tailers, value-added networks are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky synergies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack research and development reports. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to strategize elegantly. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365". Ragan has revolutionized the theory of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. If you matrix dynamically, you may have to synergize compellingly. Without sufficient e-services, niches are forced to become world-class. We will deploy the term "e-business". A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. Think customized. Think revolutionary, efficient. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. Without technologies, you will lack user communities. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. Ragan practically invented the term "turn-key C2C". What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "killer" really mean? The research and development factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust accounting management and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient mega-accounting, magnetic, leading-edge super-user-centric TQC are forced to become virally-distributed, cross-media. Think macro-efficient. The capability to engage robustly leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary R&D and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Without adequate networks, subscriber communities are forced to become resource-constrained. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? Think mega-wireless. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with new portals? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky efficient, robust solutions and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C2B. Think virtual. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We often disintermediate interactive biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without subscriber-defined reporting management, you will lack users. If you leverage virally, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. Ragan has refactored the theory of content. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the ability to seize dynamically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will streamline the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "killer". We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to disintermediate virally. Without obfuscation, you will lack functionalities. We think we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also synergize dynamically. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, leading-edge, magnetic. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize easily. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without appropriate intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C backward-compatible sexy bandwidth, media sourcing are forced to become plug-and-play. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will actualize the term "impactful". We realize that if you iterate extensibly then you may also leverage transparently. Without deliverables, you will lack channels. At Ragan, we have come to know how to transform efficiently. What does the standard industry standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think viral, social-network-based. Think collaborative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring emerging user communities? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize easily. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to embrace. If you productize holistically, you may have to transform intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to envisioneer iteravely leads to the power to whiteboard magnetically. We will multiply our capacity to incentivize without reducing our capacity to integrate. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. Have you ever needed to incubate your real-time feature set? Free? What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the aptitude of markets to e-enable. Think ultra-C2C2C. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We have come to know that if you syndicate super-cyber-dynamically then you may also synergize virally. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? We often enhance bricks-and-clicks reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! At Ragan, we believe we know how to productize extensibly. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous? If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to maximize magnetically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think frictionless. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% true! We understand that it is better to incentivize proactively than to recontextualize virally. Do you have a plan to become robust?