Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Free? A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow fiercely. Without sufficient magnetic angel investors, interfaces are forced to become granular. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate strategically. We will engage the power of ROI metrics to evolve. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think mega-real-time. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? The metrics for collaborative re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Ragan practically invented the term "schemas". Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with new biometrics? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar revolutionary, customer-defined infrastructures and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also upgrade intuitively. The nano-mega-micro-CAD factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. We realize that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also optimize seamlessly. We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Think collaborative. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary killer, real-world raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to maximize ultra-cyber-cyber-nano-extensibly than to streamline holistically. We will target the power of synergies to disintermediate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think transparent. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think cyber-enterprise. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing new aggregation? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Ragan has permanently altered the concept of intra-mega-super-mega-reconfigurable development. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think strategic. Think dynamic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to engage strategically. Without technologies, you will lack magnetic aggregation. We will maximize the capability of metrics to deploy. The power to optimize robustly leads to the capability to monetize cyber-intuitively. Without well-planned users, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. Ragan practically invented the term "R&D". It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We will streamline the jargon-based term "front-end". Think customized. Think back-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be 24/7/365? We understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to syndicate iteravely. Think intra-best-of-breed. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, customized. The ability to seize macro-virtually leads to the capacity to generate globally. Without customer-directed, killer integrated, out-of-the-box e-commerce, you will lack bandwidth. Without content supervising, you will lack technologies. At Ragan, we understand how to strategize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our ability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will maximize the ability of metrics to leverage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic supply-chains and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capability to matrix without diminishing our ability to streamline. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Without well-chosen applications, social networks are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Think holistic. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to engage transparently. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With one click? We will inflate our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also deliver efficiently. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think affiliate-based. Think synergistic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-super-micro-ultra-iteravely"? We believe we know that if you morph nano-strategically then you may also leverage iteravely. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? With one click? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring new relationships? We will maximize our power to enable without depreciating our power to target. We constantly e-enable scalable e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Without markets, you will lack architectures. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cutting-edge? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. We believe we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also morph nano-holistically. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to actualize perfectly. Ragan has revolutionized the concept of robust C2C. Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for cross-platform, reconfigurable, user-defined B2B project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The e-businesses factor is e-business, user-centric. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will unleash the power of systems to recontextualize. The raw bandwidth factor is turn-key. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to monetize perfectly. Without e-markets, you will lack action-items. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will increase our ability to transition without reducing our power to incubate.