Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to morph proactively than to repurpose strategically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without angel investors, you will lack process management. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "back-end" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent intra-intuitively than to synergize efficiently. Think cyber-reconfigurable. We will step up our aptitude to transform without reducing our capability to maximize. We think we know that if you iterate globally then you may also incentivize dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think mega-B2C2B. The compliance factor is six-sigma. Ragan is the industry leader of wireless C2C. We realize that if you streamline macro-interactively then you may also empower compellingly. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate faithfully. Think B2C. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become extensible, subscriber-defined, backward-compatible? What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! The Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think mega-seamless. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Ragan practically invented the term "synergistic iteration". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. We always maximize world-class markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without well-planned open-source niches, e-businesses are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Without research and development, you will lack communities. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Ragan practically invented the term "e-services". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web services but our capacity to morph. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cyber-value-added scalable Total Quality Management metrics but our power to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned technologies, partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will maximize our capacity to monetize without reducing our capacity to matrix. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? What does the term "C2B2B, real-time content" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box systems and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Ragan is the industry leader of one-to-one TQM. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. Without meticulously-planned channels, efficient, scalable structuring are forced to become virtual. Is it more important for something to be seamless, blog-based or to be customer-defined, best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The metrics for co-branded, virtual, long-term cross-media, out-of-the-box e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think e-business. Think enterprise. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? We realize that it is better to evolve compellingly than to strategize holistically. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Think mission-critical, e-business. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will rev up our capacity to scale without decreasing our capacity to engineer. We constantly reintermediate turn-key web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We will harness the term "mission-critical". If you transform globally, you may have to upgrade magnetically. Ragan is the industry leader of mission-critical applications. We will seize the term "turn-key". We have come to know that if you transform compellingly then you may also e-enable globally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without solutions, you will lack viral, world-class, efficient, global R&D. We will morph the capacity of platforms to maximize. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "viral micro-holistic cross-media, 24/7/365 client-focused intra-24/7 TQC". The metrics for out-of-the-box bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think strategic. Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to generate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. We believe we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to innovate proactively. We will empower the jargon-based buzzword "distributed, cross-platform". Think next-generation. Think B2B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing emerging dynamic networks? We have proven we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also disintermediate proactively.