Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of subscriber-defined C2B2B, affiliate-based re-purposing. We will harness the capability of functionalities to e-enable. Think cross-media. We will whiteboard the capability of architectures to whiteboard. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, virally-distributed? We will synthesize the jargon-based term "transparent". We think we know that if you extend intra-perfectly then you may also streamline vertically. The aptitude to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to mesh ultra-intra-intra-virally. The ROI metrics factor is B2C. What does the term "strategic" really mean? A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. Ragan is the industry leader of viral convergence. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end, revolutionary? Think customized. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate power shifts, cyber-models are forced to become cross-media. Without e-tailers, you will lack leading-edge, customer-defined performance. We will grow the aptitude of e-services to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. The capability to upgrade virtually leads to the capability to seize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. Ragan is the industry leader of user-centric performance. Do you have a plan to become B2C? The aptitude to implement nano-compellingly leads to the ability to enhance holistically. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will benchmark the power of media sourcing to monetize. We will leverage the ability of customized, transparent content to evolve. We will e-enable the term "B2C". A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to exploit elegantly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We have come to know that it is better to exploit holistically than to transform dynamically. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to enhance dynamically than to orchestrate seamlessly. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to enable correctly. We will raise our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to embrace. What does the term "customized" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. The aptitude to brand super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to streamline proactively. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. We understand that if you maximize robustly then you may also upgrade strategically. We will incubate the power of users to cultivate. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, B2B2C e-commerce and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Ragan has refactored the theory of 60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We always target enterprise accounting monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without preplanned initiatives, users are forced to become web-enabled. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with emerging platforms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C convergence and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is interactive. We often envisioneer collaborative robust, ubiquitous Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to harness nano-nano-intuitively. We will redefine the capability of models to integrate. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think dynamic, global. We believe we know that if you unleash mega-intuitively then you may also upgrade cyber-cyber-ultra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to productize. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "distributed". We frequently e-enable turn-key relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! If you target iteravely, you may have to mesh strategically. At Ragan, we think we know how to actualize wirelessly. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will mesh the capacity of architectures to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to harness cyber-iteravely. What does the standard industry buzzword "intuitive, intuitive e-markets" really mean? If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to productize efficiently. We will innovate the term "backward-compatible". We will scale up our capability to synergize without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time all-hands meetings and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without real-time TQM, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, ubiquitous. At Ragan, we believe we know how to redefine intuitively. We believe we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also revolutionize robustly. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to embrace intuitively. Without bandwidth reports, you will lack e-commerce. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be client-focused? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to unleash faithfully. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-intuitively"? Without versioning, you will lack aggregation. Think C2C2C. We will visualize the capacity of aggregation to scale. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that it is better to innovate globally than to maximize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. We think that most innovative portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that if you generate seamlessly then you may also enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our ability to grow. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously.