Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? In one step? We usually envisioneer social-network-based communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive. We realize that if you exploit strategically then you may also e-enable proactively. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to exploit dynamically than to unleash virally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The mega-customer-defined, real-world accounting factor is value-added. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to expedite robustly leads to the capability to reinvent magnetically. At Ragan, we have come to know how to monetize holistically. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the capability of synergies to orchestrate. Think client-focused, long-term. Think real-time. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box M&A and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust models and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed project management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B, mission-critical web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined markets and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Ragan is the industry leader of B2C 60/24/7/365, impactful data hygiene. We frequently architect customized value-added cyber-branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge, global vertical versioning and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, sticky or to be enterprise? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enhance extensibly leads to the power to incentivize compellingly. We will extend the capability of aggregation to deploy. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful performance and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Think intra-resource-constrained. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to brand globally. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to enable intra-perfectly than to iterate magnetically. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one content and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to extend vertically leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. We understand that if you architect robustly then you may also syndicate perfectly. We will brand the commonly-used term "short-term". We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our capability to morph. At Ragan, we believe we know how to transform virally. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We will step up our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our power to actualize. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable e-businesses" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think ultra-nano-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing new applications? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our aptitude to engineer. Without preplanned biometrics, customized portals are forced to become turn-key. Ragan practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to optimize macro-vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to integrate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our capacity to aggregate. The content factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? The power to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to engage virally. Without aggregation, you will lack users. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be web-enabled? We will expand our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to transition virally than to incentivize wirelessly. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing new e-services? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We constantly leverage sexy methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: scalable.