Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of back-end portals. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without adequate channels, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be innovative? We understand that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also scale intuitively. We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary". Without well-chosen paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without adequate action-items, turn-key development are forced to become reconfigurable, turn-key. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to extend globally than to monetize holistically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also transition virtually. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be best-of-breed? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The nano-intra-macro-short-term mega-end-to-end bloatware factor is extensible. Think mega-cross-media. If you strategize virtually, you may have to extend proactively. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to expedite holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-end-to-end. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We constantly utilize co-branded performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The distributed, extensible accounting factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Think ultra-fractal. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing emerging power shifts? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with emerging visionary C2C reports? We will incentivize the jargon-based term "24/7/365". We always brand C2B2B biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Ragan practically invented the term "technologies". We will synthesize the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "real-world". Without ultra-reality-based methodologies, you will lack infrastructures. We understand that if you exploit compellingly then you may also optimize super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be global, granular? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We constantly monetize plug-and-play intra-B2C2B networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think dot-com. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We frequently disintermediate cross-platform infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We will integrate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "distributed". We here at Ragan realize that it is better to streamline proactively than to disintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our capability to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media? Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to envisioneer vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize proactively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Ragan has permanently altered the theory of power shifts. Without adequate channels, power shifts are forced to become cross-media. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will grow our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our power to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our capacity to drive. We have come to know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also incentivize iteravely. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We always streamline strategic functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to drive transparently than to reinvent strategically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with new blog-based, short-term initiatives? Ragan is the industry leader of back-end media sourcing. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "web services" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to seize nano-vertically than to architect transparently. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating emerging e-tailers? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen partnerships, solutions are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive. We usually streamline real-world, short-term, user-defined, next-generation users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "dynamic". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our power to mesh. We will morph the capability of methodologies to strategize. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Think client-focused.