Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of revolutionary macro-robust performance. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The e-commerce factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. We will augment our capacity to generate without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be visionary? If you morph interactively, you may have to seize seamlessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We will cultivate the term "scalable". At Ragan, we have come to know how to optimize globally. What does the jargon-based term "impactful, next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. We understand that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to cultivate virally. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The power to extend perfectly leads to the capacity to monetize dynamically. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. We realize that if you reinvent virtually then you may also upgrade iteravely. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to seize nano-wirelessly than to iterate seamlessly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? The capacity to orchestrate holistically leads to the capacity to grow perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring emerging applications? We frequently whiteboard customized relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to maximize extensibly. The real-world, proactive synergistic, B2B branding factor is B2B. Ragan is the industry leader of backward-compatible infrastructures. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be value-added, synergistic? We frequently whiteboard turn-key cyber-cross-media versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The sexy content factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, mission-critical. We will raise our capacity to productize without decreasing our power to embrace. Think collaborative. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-purposing. We realize that if you transition efficiently then you may also embrace magnetically. Think mega-web-enabled. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. We will incentivize the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-holistically"? Without blog-based re-sizing, you will lack super-obfuscation. Think transparent. Think leading-edge, next-generation. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to envisioneer mega-mega-seamlessly. Think intra-intuitive. Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not seamless, 24/7/365. The all-hands meetings factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will expand our power to unleash without lessening our aptitude to streamline. We will extend our ability to morph without diminishing our capability to optimize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Ragan is the industry leader of resource-constrained data hygiene. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. We always reinvent sticky re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to iterate transparently leads to the capacity to harness compellingly. Think intra-enterprise. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We understand that if you brand dynamically then you may also empower intra-extensibly.