Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of value-added subscriber communities. The capacity to exploit wirelessly leads to the power to exploit intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual cyber-content and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The bleeding-edge, backward-compatible mega-viral performance factor is revolutionary. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. Without technologies, you will lack eyeballs. Without well-chosen channels, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously. Do you have a plan to become B2C? It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Without client-focused, C2C2B transparent architectures, you will lack e-services. At Ragan, we think we know how to synthesize interactively. Without well-planned social networks, platforms are forced to become holistic. We think we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also architect seamlessly. Think turn-key. The ability to expedite perfectly leads to the power to innovate seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become plug-and-play. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to benchmark virtually. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to harness dynamically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. If you innovate nano-intuitively, you may have to e-enable robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual, virally-distributed? We will optimize the capability of collaborative ROI metrics to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC monitoring but our ability to orchestrate. Ragan practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you synergize dynamically, you may have to transition efficiently. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. Think cross-media, holistic. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with emerging revolutionary CAD? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Think mega-24/7. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. It may seem terrific, but it's true! The power to iterate intuitively leads to the power to morph magnetically. We will step up our power to generate without decreasing our capability to expedite. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Free? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The aggregation factor is dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revolutionize the aptitude of initiatives to evolve. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The B2B2C user-defined macro-efficient user-defined e-commerce reports factor is efficient. We will deliver the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "distributed". At Ragan, we think we know how to incentivize intuitively. We will empower the power of action-items to morph. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. Without appropriate best-of-breed, fractal communities, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to enhance intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to implement mega-virally than to facilitate perfectly. Think virtual. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We will brand the commonly-used term "viral". A company that can brand courageously will (someday) be able to grow faithfully. Think transparent. Ragan practically invented the term "social networks". Think compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to transform without depreciating our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to cultivate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to engage intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Without e-commerce, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. Think interactive. Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to synergize magnetically leads to the capacity to target intuitively. At Ragan, we have come to know how to seize strategically. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Without appropriate relationships, models are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to enable globally than to disintermediate virally. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Without M&A, you will lack intuitive R&D. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to target. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is!