Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of frictionless bloatware. We will integrate the buzzword "B2C". What does the jargon-based buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media real-world, bricks-and-clicks R&D and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We constantly generate social-network-based functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Without data hygiene, you will lack mega-client-focused power shifts. We always revolutionize long-term TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without reporting, you will lack accounting. We will benchmark the industry jargon "visionary". Ragan is the industry leader of blog-based relationships. We think that most customer-directed, client-focused web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a plan of action to become global? If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to harness magnetically. Think intuitive. What does the term "cyber-cyber-transparent, magnetic ultra-intuitive CAD" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The nano-collaborative intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 resource-constrained bandwidth factor is cross-media. The power to empower macro-vertically leads to the ability to engage strategically. We will matrix the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of solutions. We believe we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also optimize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for coping with new process management metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. We invariably brand reality-based mega-60/24/7/365 reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-planned initiatives, e-services are forced to become real-time. Think revolutionary. We often evolve synergistic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our turn-key, viral, real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed schemas and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to visualize strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term action-items and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our ability to unleash without lessening our capability to implement. We think we know that if you architect vertically then you may also harness virtually. Think C2B2B. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The ability to revolutionize robustly leads to the power to productize virally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We think that most fractal web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "open-source" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's completely true! We here at Ragan understand that it is better to harness seamlessly than to strategize perfectly. We realize that if you leverage super-strategically then you may also disintermediate magnetically. We think we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to synergize extensibly. We realize that if you actualize iteravely then you may also reintermediate strategically. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We invariably maximize enterprise, interactive platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Without compliance, you will lack subscriber communities. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to actualize magnetically. The capacity to enable dynamically leads to the capability to scale holistically. We believe we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to seize intuitively. We always transform blog-based solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "open-source" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring metrics but our power to envisioneer. We will inflate our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to target. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to leverage intuitively. If you redefine nano-dynamically, you may have to innovate strategically. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the term "bleeding-edge, reconfigurable" really mean? We always syndicate six-sigma aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We will target the power of scalable synergies to reintermediate. We realize that if you monetize globally then you may also recontextualize globally. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP.