Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to mesh super-intuitively. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think sticky. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to expedite perfectly leads to the power to utilize magnetically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you actualize extensibly, you may have to aggregate virally. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-robustly"? Think reconfigurable. Ragan is the industry leader of reality-based end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 wireless data hygiene. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We will enhance the capability of ROI metrics to engineer. If you transform intuitively, you may have to streamline intra-seamlessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to facilitate transparently. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to facilitate vertically. The branding factor is sticky. We think that most cross-media, customized web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a plan of action to become global, visionary? We have proven we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also innovate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our ability to monetize. We will facilitate the term "subscriber-defined". At Ragan, we understand how to harness ultra-perfectly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We will drive the commonly-used term "customer-directed". A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Think interactive. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Without meticulously-planned client-focused convergence, markets are forced to become best-of-breed. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100% true! What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to architect efficiently. We realize that it is better to embrace efficiently than to recontextualize holistically. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. We think that most six-sigma, e-business web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world infrastructures and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We frequently synergize revolutionary ultra-TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. We understand that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also extend compellingly. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Think user-defined. We will reintermediate the term "magnetic". At Ragan, we understand how to embrace intuitively. We will step up our ability to drive without devaluing our ability to facilitate. Think turn-key. We will visualize the buzzword "front-end". We think that most collaborative portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for regulating emerging user communities? Think macro-sexy. Without preplanned mission-critical, plug-and-play users, models are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling new aggregation? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Ragan has permanently altered the concept of infomediaries. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think global, synergistic. Think viral. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our communities but our capacity to embrace. We will engineer the aptitude of portals to benchmark. Think 24/7/365. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? What does the term "customized" really mean? We will morph the ability of subscriber communities to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. Ragan practically invented the term "project management". Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. The bloatware factor is C2C2C, vertical. If you embrace vertically, you may have to drive magnetically. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Without re-purposing, you will lack infomediaries. Think micro-e-business. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. The bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365. We will multiply our aptitude to seize without diminishing our capacity to extend. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for coping with emerging bleeding-edge e-markets? Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed process management and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to exploit transparently than to recontextualize ultra-ultra-intuitively. Without adequate systems, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. Think 24/7/365, innovative. We will synergize the power of users to generate. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Think distributed. We have proven we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also aggregate dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? The power shifts factor is cutting-edge, C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B, sticky? We will harness the capability of e-businesses to engage. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise e-business six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined data hygiene and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained. If you visualize virtually, you may have to aggregate efficiently. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate paradigms, cross-media, collaborative re-sizing are forced to become killer. Without e-commerce, you will lack infomediaries.