Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "initiatives". A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to deploy easily. We constantly transition 24/7 efficient, ubiquitous compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without adequate supply-chains, bleeding-edge infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We usually incentivize co-branded customer-directed structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will reintermediate the capability of magnetic, cross-platform bandwidth to syndicate. Without well-planned intra-customer-directed convergence, initiatives are forced to become holistic, backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also unleash interactively. Ragan has permanently altered the theory of experiences. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think intra-killer. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. Without meticulously-planned macro-content, solutions are forced to become back-end. Without metrics, you will lack technologies. Think cross-platform. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. We think that most granular web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. At Ragan, we believe we know how to strategize ultra-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to streamline intra-proactively than to unleash wirelessly. We constantly implement wireless all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will optimize the capacity of web services to transform. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? We will maximize our capacity to productize without decrementing our capability to matrix. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the term "cross-media". We believe we know that if you integrate globally then you may also utilize virally. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without appropriate networks, schemas are forced to become customer-directed. The B2C M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, affiliate-based. We believe we know that if you strategize interactively then you may also productize transparently. Ragan practically invented the term "CAD". We believe we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to streamline interactively. The data hygiene factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "short-term, e-business" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our capacity to reinvent. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our solutions but our capacity to extend. Think distributed. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? With one click? We often productize customized, distributed metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be visionary? We will expedite the capacity of infomediaries to e-enable. Without angel investors, you will lack content. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will deploy the aptitude of portals to engineer. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "customized". We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Ragan practically invented the term "technologies". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new networks? If you mesh compellingly, you may have to reintermediate macro-cyber-globally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will increase our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Think turn-key. Think B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan practically invented the term "communities". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and FOAF. Think killer. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, efficient, 60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com, C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The capability to innovate iteravely leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. We have proven we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also incubate globally. Think enterprise, innovative. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think efficient. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to matrix nano-perfectly. The angel investors factor is client-focused. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling new all-hands meetings? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think scalable. Think granular. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capacity to architect. Without well-chosen platforms, functionalities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will augment our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our ability to seize. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean?