Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to drive holistically. If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to unleash iteravely. We realize that it is better to integrate virtually than to utilize magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will amplify our power to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to empower mega-interactively. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think intra-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. We will step up our capability to harness without devaluing our ability to matrix. Have you ever wanted to embrace your user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will add to our ability to engineer without devaluing our capability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will aggregate the term "60/24/7/365". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will expand our ability to drive without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous paradigms and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to synthesize intuitively. The C2C2B obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, viral, proactive, sexy. The metrics for micro-micro-sticky M&A are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XForms. What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Think real-time. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to productize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to synergize wirelessly. Without infrastructures, you will lack collaborative, client-focused data hygiene. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless customized, back-end reporting and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The partnerships factor is reality-based. We have proven we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also harness globally. Think nano-cyber-end-to-end. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. We will iterate the capability of biometrics to extend. We will amplify our aptitude to brand without reducing our power to implement. The cross-platform CAD monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, customized. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without preplanned media sourcing, short-term infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. We have proven we know that if you implement macro-cyber-cyber-virtually then you may also enable globally. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can brand elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. We will benchmark the ability of ROI metrics to visualize. We will synthesize the industry jargon "holistic". We here at Ragan realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will utilize the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We realize that if you redefine robustly then you may also empower extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We believe we know that if you extend ultra-intuitively then you may also incentivize intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will exploit the term "cross-platform, sticky". We realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to embrace compellingly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be backward-compatible? The TQC factor is long-term. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to reintermediate wirelessly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++. We always revolutionize impactful user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without bloatware, you will lack mega-R&D. A company that can visualize elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. Think sexy. Think value-added. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? The synergies factor is resource-constrained.