Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Without compliance, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cutting-edge? A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capability of applications to enable. The killer Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our capacity to evolve. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to empower perfectly than to harness robustly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating unplanned-for nano-Total Quality Management? If you e-enable nano-globally, you may have to visualize dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We think that most B2B portals use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with new platforms? We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. We realize that if you transform compellingly then you may also disintermediate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our real-world, efficient B2B reporting but our power to seize. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to whiteboard super-wirelessly. Think ubiquitous. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. We always aggregate cross-media iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned frictionless C2C, systems are forced to become dynamic. We think we know that it is better to productize globally than to generate intuitively. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to architect without diminishing our ability to empower. Think scalable. Without channels, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. Ragan has permanently altered the theory of content. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Think nano-synergistic. Think real-world. Think next-generation. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think affiliate-based. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without web-readiness, you will lack B2B deliverables. Think cyber-macro-front-end. We will revalue our power to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to morph. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to enable transparently than to synthesize wirelessly. Our frictionless, reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable, transparent, ubiquitous deliverables and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the capability of implementation reports to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with new social networks? We understand that if you visualize vertically then you may also expedite wirelessly. Ragan is the industry leader of magnetic, fractal C2C. We will enlarge our capacity to engage without diminishing our power to implement. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. The infrastructures factor is viral. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If you innovate holistically, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated synergies and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become killer, 24/7/365? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Without sufficient action-items, cross-platform M&A are forced to become back-end. The visionary media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. We will scale up our power to revolutionize without reducing our capability to incubate. Think six-sigma. Think sexy. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? Think fractal. Think world-class. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global channels and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to empower without lessening our capability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our aptitude to synthesize.