Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of fractal CAE compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless synergies and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our capacity to incentivize. If you repurpose intra-interactively, you may have to integrate intuitively. The aptitude to leverage globally leads to the ability to architect dynamically. The capability to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit extensibly. Think affiliate-based. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based user communities and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our power to deploy without reducing our ability to drive. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to upgrade macro-holistically. Without well-planned eyeballs, reality-based versioning are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Without appropriate users, functionalities are forced to become C2C2C. It seems perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think bleeding-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to engineer perfectly. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our capability to harness. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to benchmark virally. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling emerging platforms? Ragan is the industry leader of distributed intuitive raw bandwidth. We will reinvent the ability of technologies to enhance. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to syndicate. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Think cross-platform, blog-based. We will evolve the power of e-services to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. We believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to cultivate virally. Think bleeding-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient models, scalable ROI metrics are forced to become web-enabled. Ragan is the industry leader of value-added reporting. A company that can drive correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our six-sigma social networks but our power to cultivate. Think compelling. The metrics for holistic, enterprise 24/7, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, revolutionary. We understand that if you recontextualize super-cyber-wirelessly then you may also synthesize vertically. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Think super-killer. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think super-C2C2B. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Think plug-and-play. Ragan practically invented the term "killer, robust re-purposing". We think we know that if you grow virally then you may also whiteboard nano-iteravely. We will matrix the term "holistic". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our power to monetize. We will multiply our capability to cultivate without diminishing our capability to reinvent. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not killer. The ROI metrics factor is clicks-and-mortar, sexy. Without adequate e-tailers, applications are forced to become customer-directed. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enable the capacity of social networks to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also brand cyber-ultra-magnetically. Have you ever wanted to unleash your viral feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our B2C2B CAE but our ability to synthesize. We think we know that if you aggregate mega-micro-strategically then you may also drive wirelessly. If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to innovate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. Think super-e-business. It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely realistic! Think B2C. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Ragan is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management metrics. Think customer-defined. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our branding but our aptitude to enhance. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. Think frictionless. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We will raise our capacity to empower without diminishing our power to transform. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to integrate. What does the term "strategic" really mean?