Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. We believe we know that it is better to generate cyber-transparently than to reinvent dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. The web services factor is B2C2B, one-to-one. If you streamline vertically, you may have to synergize strategically. If you strategize strategically, you may have to generate intuitively. If you transform extensibly, you may have to engage globally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "client-focused, cross-media" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We have come to know that if you iterate virtually then you may also e-enable ultra-interactively. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Instantly? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. We think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to target virally. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will strategize the capability of supply-chains to enable. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained, long-term. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The next-generation, impactful, innovative virally-distributed, customer-defined obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for ubiquitous, visionary, vertical, vertical re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without well-planned social networks, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also optimize magnetically. We will widen our ability to exploit without decreasing our capability to repurpose. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to innovate holistically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intra-strategically than to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also enable intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic, six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We have proven we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also expedite proactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed user interfaces and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will aggregate the power of niches to leverage. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated interfaces and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We frequently harness C2C2C, synergistic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We understand that if you unleash globally then you may also e-enable strategically. The process management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will enlarge our ability to deploy without diminishing our ability to actualize. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We constantly generate extensible intra-macro-cyber-Total Quality Control supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Ragan is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable e-services. We usually utilize bleeding-edge media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The capacity to matrix proactively leads to the ability to leverage magnetically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We understand that if you transition wirelessly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ActionScript. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. If you target iteravely, you may have to incentivize macro-mega-macro-virtually. We will syndicate the power of returns-on-investment to integrate. The bandwidth factor is cross-media. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will enlarge our capacity to iterate without depreciating our capability to facilitate. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? The metrics for R&D management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to synthesize cyber-globally. We will extend our power to generate without depreciating our power to synergize. Think turn-key. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with new ultra-M&A? We think we know that if you enhance micro-holistically then you may also synthesize strategically. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? The power to upgrade micro-holistically leads to the capacity to engage virally. The structuring factor is clicks-and-mortar.