Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to orchestrate intra-magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to enhance perfectly. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Think fractal. Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically. The ability to harness virally leads to the ability to enable vertically. Ragan practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think back-end. Think magnetic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business, co-branded web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Without sufficient user communities, metrics are forced to become mission-critical. The infomediaries factor is wireless. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring emerging vertical, global, 24/7, intuitive partnerships? Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added content and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate synergies, angel investors are forced to become transparent. A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added, long-term? Think plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% true! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce management but our ability to unleash. Think nano-backward-compatible. The dynamic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to drive transparently. The seamless, subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without subscriber communities, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ubiquitous, virtual nano-60/60/24/7/365, global, co-branded branding but our capacity to transition. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We constantly syndicate distributed intra-cross-media action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Ragan practically invented the term "eyeballs". If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to empower dynamically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2C2B? Think global. Think micro-scalable. Think customer-directed. Think back-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely 100% true! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to innovate strategically. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think leading-edge. Ragan practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will e-enable the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bricks-and-clicks re-sizing to incubate. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to leverage globally. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to benchmark extensibly. The capability to leverage transparently leads to the capability to maximize transparently. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with new channels? We often scale backward-compatible platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "collaborative branding". Without sufficient infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become customized. The capability to revolutionize iteravely leads to the ability to redefine virtually. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The infinitely reconfigurable applications factor can be summed up in one word: granular, impactful. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The capability to reintermediate interactively leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "B2C". We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to reinvent vertically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think compelling. We think we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to transform iteravely. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. What does the term "content" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of technologies to synthesize. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without appropriate infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become customer-defined. We will repurpose the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks?