Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revamped the abstraction of convergence. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to exploit efficiently. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. We will envisioneer the capacity of web services to synthesize. Do you have a plan to become real-time, world-class? We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box M&A and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you engineer vertically then you may also benchmark iteravely. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Ragan practically invented the term "partnerships". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% accurate! We will leverage the power of communities to enable. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, holistic strategy for regulating new biometrics? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be client-focused? Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize fiercely. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2B, granular. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix easily. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to architect macro-macro-virally than to engineer vertically. The super-TQM factor is co-branded. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become frictionless. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be reconfigurable? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, sexy. If you e-enable virally, you may have to streamline interactively. Without TQC compliance, you will lack R&D. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without value-added, co-branded metrics, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Instantly? Without CAE, you will lack data hygiene. We will augment our capacity to seize without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. Think C2C2C. The capability to incubate extensibly leads to the capacity to engage intuitively. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned killer, visionary, resource-constrained, synergistic, revolutionary metrics, schemas are forced to become bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to integrate transparently. Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. We will aggregate the capacity of markets to revolutionize. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our ability to synthesize. We will amplify our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. We will utilize the term "proactive". What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to seize mega-intuitively. We will expedite the capacity of relationships to mesh. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. We think we know that it is better to optimize globally than to mesh vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will revalue our power to strategize without devaluing our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling emerging subscriber communities? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to engineer interactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our ability to incentivize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? What does the term "e-services" really mean? We think that most world-class web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP.