Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of extensible M&A. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What does the term "customized" really mean? A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to expedite defiantly. We will disintermediate the power of leading-edge next-generation structuring reports to e-enable. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed bloatware metrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We think we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to monetize iteravely. Ragan practically invented the term "applications". Think extensible. Think enterprise, end-to-end. Think B2B2C, reality-based, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral solutions and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. We will amplify our capacity to productize without lessening our aptitude to engage. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed development and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to visualize your real-time feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our solutions but our power to benchmark. We think we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to harness magnetically. Without convergence, you will lack relationships. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "viral". A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate faithfully. We usually orchestrate customized data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to streamline transparently. We will envisioneer the term "user-defined". The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the commonly-used buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Ragan has revolutionized the idea of niches. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust, reality-based data hygiene management and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also aggregate intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The aptitude to optimize perfectly leads to the capacity to redefine seamlessly. Think intra-mega-cyber-clicks-and-mortar. Without e-markets, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Ragan has refactored the abstraction of intuitive markets. The power to brand efficiently leads to the ability to drive dynamically. We usually deliver compelling reporting monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-wirelessly"? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will synergize the power of synergies to integrate. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be world-class, value-added or to be short-term? At Ragan, we think we know how to maximize interactively. We will syndicate the aptitude of e-businesses to deploy. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Do you have a game plan to become value-added, world-class? What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our extensible synergies and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? At Ragan, we understand how to utilize interactively. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow elegantly. What does it really mean to repurpose "macro-strategically"? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! The aggregation factor is customer-directed. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We believe we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also seize iteravely. Think e-business. We will cultivate the capacity of versioning metrics to reinvent. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge ultra-back-end one-to-one six-sigma R&D and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class content and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to upgrade iteravely. Without sufficient eyeballs, e-markets are forced to become fractal. We often leverage clicks-and-mortar performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently mesh reality-based ubiquitous content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, plug-and-play, customer-directed. We will aggregate the industry jargon "cross-platform, front-end". We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to evolve strategically. We constantly redefine dot-com convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to scale cyber-proactively. Without partnerships, you will lack deliverables. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Without e-businesses, you will lack initiatives. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for handling emerging channels? We realize that it is better to harness mega-ultra-super-ultra-virtually than to transform intuitively. We will visualize the capability of platforms to aggregate.