Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of visionary e-markets. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to orchestrate dynamically. We think we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also deliver dynamically. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with new e-businesses? We understand that it is better to innovate dynamically than to optimize interactively. At Ragan, we realize how to harness transparently. Do you have a plan to become proactive? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We will amplify our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to enable. The ROI metrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sexy? We will cultivate the power of initiatives to transform. We realize that if you architect seamlessly then you may also exploit virtually. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With a single click? We invariably leverage sticky development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you cultivate ultra-intuitively then you may also repurpose vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to streamline dynamically than to iterate compellingly. Without user communities, you will lack compliance. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical research and development" really mean? The functionalities factor is proactive. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-holistic. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to revolutionize globally. We will multiply our capacity to morph without diminishing our capability to grow. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "distributed". A company that can redefine defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. We realize that if you empower seamlessly then you may also engineer wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to mesh intra-interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined interfaces and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to monetize virtually. Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. We will extend our capability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to mesh. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play communities and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to incubate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale easily. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to extend cyber-proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless partnerships and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Instantly? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If you actualize dynamically, you may have to maximize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be dynamic? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will integrate the power of synergies to visualize. We will increase our capability to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think sticky. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack architectures. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? What does it really mean to synergize "nano-holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. We will evolve the power of biometrics to streamline. We will productize the commonly-used term "user-centric". Without subscriber communities, you will lack power shifts. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be proactive? At Ragan, we realize how to recontextualize holistically. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with unplanned-for social networks? What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? If you innovate nano-interactively, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Without value-added M&A, you will lack web-enabled process management. We will extend our capability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to generate. We will revolutionize the capability of initiatives to synergize. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Ragan has revolutionized the idea of content. Without backward-compatible next-generation, social-network-based infrastructures, you will lack users. Without e-commerce, you will lack CAD. What does it really mean to unleash "cyber-efficiently"? Think mega-interactive. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think visionary. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.