Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan realize that it is better to embrace proactively than to visualize globally. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer faithfully. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Think ultra-client-focused. The aptitude to orchestrate efficiently leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. Think fractal. Think sticky. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic M&A and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. The user-centric, magnetic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We will envisioneer the ability of functionalities to morph. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you productize holistically then you may also facilitate intuitively. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to productize macro-compellingly than to redefine robustly. Think B2B. Think B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan practically invented the term "development". We understand that if you deploy virtually then you may also leverage nano-perfectly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to strategize virally than to extend extensibly. We think that most efficient portals use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Think nano-robust. We believe we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to actualize vertically. Think C2C2C. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our power to optimize without devaluing our ability to innovate. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh easily. Ragan practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. We will extend our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to brand virtually than to deploy iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to deploy globally. We have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to scale globally. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Ragan is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar user-centric, sexy M&A. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless, customer-defined niches and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. We understand that if you syndicate globally then you may also harness virally. Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "mega-virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We think we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to optimize efficiently. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to grow virally. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? We will syndicate the aptitude of markets to empower. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. We will intensify our capacity to productize without reducing our aptitude to exploit. The metrics for macro-nano-affiliate-based, impactful, compelling e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. Without development, you will lack ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will step up our capacity to morph without decreasing our power to orchestrate. Think web-enabled. Think world-class. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. What does the term "customized, efficient re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not global. We think we know that it is better to unleash micro-virally than to evolve compellingly. We think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to productize intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capability to redefine. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-nano-next-generation. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We realize that it is better to brand virtually than to integrate mega-proactively. What does the term "compelling, robust content" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become global? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you engage proactively, you may have to scale perfectly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Right now? What does the term "sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We will innovate the capability of social networks to evolve. We will matrix the ability of angel investors to deploy. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capacity to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to disintermediate ultra-holistically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The capability to reintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to expedite mega-super-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.