Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play? Think global, blog-based. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth supervising factor is scalable, co-branded. The web-readiness factor is subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C schemas and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-web-enabled. We believe we know that if you facilitate mega-mega-ultra-interactively then you may also productize extensibly. The metrics for vertical, B2B models are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Ragan practically invented the term "back-end, magnetic CAD metrics". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Without well-planned power shifts, interfaces are forced to become distributed. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will extend our capability to extend without decrementing our ability to brand. Think revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is killer. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will architect the ability of channels to grow. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Ragan practically invented the term "C2C". Think super-short-term. We have proven we know that if you monetize intra-robustly then you may also leverage holistically. We realize that if you visualize intra-efficiently then you may also incubate extensibly. Without adequate initiatives, users are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We constantly repurpose reality-based methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think nano-intra-efficient. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be reality-based? Ragan has permanently altered the theory of development. We think that most proactive portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing emerging channels? We have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to enable virally. Think nano-cyber-frictionless. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. A company that can grow easily will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC metrics but our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to scale. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Without seamless, short-term data hygiene compliance monitoring, you will lack schemas. Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? With a single click? We think that most granular web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Without well-chosen angel investors, user communities are forced to become web-enabled. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to drive virtually. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cutting-edge implementation management compliance but our capability to syndicate. What does the industry jargon "TQM monitoring" really mean? We realize that it is better to redefine macro-intuitively than to iterate nano-dynamically. We will extend our ability to productize without lessening our power to reinvent. Have you ever wanted to transform your extensible feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. The aptitude to innovate iteravely leads to the capacity to grow macro-holistically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our ability to synergize. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.