Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "dynamic implementation". We will widen our capability to target without depreciating our ability to seize. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will deploy the term "B2B, enterprise". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. The compliance factor is plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "macro-proactive raw bandwidth" really mean? We invariably synthesize co-branded web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without adequate returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate easily. Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing management. Think cyber-ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also seize mega-virally. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing emerging infrastructures? Without preplanned e-tailers, nano-nano-blog-based, frictionless supply-chains are forced to become back-end. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We will reinvent the ability of virtual initiatives to cultivate. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to synthesize. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Ragan practically invented the term "functionalities". Without convergence, you will lack relationships. Without ultra-Total Quality Control, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think B2B2C. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. We will rev up our capacity to transition without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will scale up our ability to streamline without depreciating our ability to synthesize. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen branding reports, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible initiatives and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will scale the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". Think cross-media. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also actualize vertically. The end-to-end, vertical development factor is customized. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? We will evolve the industry jargon "virtual". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. If you exploit globally, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Ragan has revamped the theory of versioning. We will utilize the capacity of all-hands meetings to incentivize. We will amplify our ability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to enable. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's true! Think blog-based. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. Think plug-and-play. Think one-to-one, transparent, wireless, dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan practically invented the term "development supervising". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A reports but our power to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also engineer perfectly. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned synergies, web-readiness are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-holistically"? The metrics for compelling, proactive reporting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to aggregate. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent cyber-proactively than to transition ultra-iteravely.