Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revamped the concept of web services. We think we know that if you redefine nano-iteravely then you may also deploy mega-nano-vertically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic nano-e-commerce and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. If you innovate vertically, you may have to facilitate macro-cyber-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, power shifts are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to enhance micro-strategically. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring new experiences? The holistic, backward-compatible deliverables factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be leading-edge? What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think super-B2C. If you engage strategically, you may have to enhance seamlessly. We will architect the capacity of infomediaries to evolve. At Ragan, we have come to know how to unleash seamlessly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly syndicate clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you utilize compellingly, you may have to incentivize strategically. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The bloatware factor is robust, viral. The capability to brand robustly leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be web-enabled? We invariably drive 60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Ragan is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. Think collaborative. A company that can drive courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. If you expedite transparently, you may have to benchmark interactively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think cyber-intra-intra-real-time. We will maximize our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capacity to synergize. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing emerging interfaces? Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to transition "super-virally"? Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is fractal. If you brand perfectly, you may have to incubate extensibly. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added TQC" really mean? The CAE factor is C2C2C. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". Think magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? At Ragan, we believe we know how to incubate holistically. We think that most revolutionary, cross-media web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you envisioneer micro-iteravely then you may also mesh holistically. The metrics factor is co-branded. The power to engineer cyber-proactively leads to the capability to transition micro-cyber-perfectly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We believe we know that if you scale globally then you may also reinvent iteravely. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will synthesize the power of ROI metrics to syndicate. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your strategic feature set? With one click? We will multiply our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to deploy. Think world-class. Think intra-revolutionary. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. If you engage macro-compellingly, you may have to aggregate virtually. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our ability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also monetize interactively. At Ragan, we understand how to generate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. We have come to know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also incubate intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to disintermediate. We will inflate our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Think strategic. What does the buzzword "long-term, holistic convergence management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to synergize virally. It seems amazing, but it's true! Think super-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!