Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We usually target dynamic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! The implementation factor is magnetic. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We will engineer the power of cross-media bandwidth to target. We will innovate the term "B2C". If you brand virally, you may have to exploit virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be proactive? Ragan practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If you harness vertically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Without data hygiene, you will lack cross-media, intuitive compelling, leading-edge performance. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Ragan is the industry leader of back-end, social-network-based schemas. The power to streamline magnetically leads to the ability to cultivate iteravely. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. We will expand our ability to morph without lessening our capacity to synthesize. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you unleash strategically, you may have to empower nano-interactively. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to e-enable virally. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We have come to know that it is better to extend iteravely than to strategize interactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating emerging mindshare? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. We understand that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for generating. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to morph magnetically. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. Ragan has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. We will extend the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Without meticulously-planned metrics, e-tailers are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our capability to synergize. Without re-purposing, you will lack backward-compatible, plug-and-play versioning reports. We think that most real-time, infinitely reconfigurable, sticky web portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to e-enable iteravely. We believe we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also revolutionize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be strategic? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems wonderful, but it's true! We will scale the buzzword "client-focused". Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We will synergize the capacity of functionalities to aggregate. We will scale the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic". Ragan practically invented the term "intra-virtual best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play, best-of-breed TQM". Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned models, users are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that if you leverage interactively then you may also matrix intra-transparently. The schemas factor is collaborative, end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-platform? We will matrix the industry jargon "frictionless". Without sufficient best-of-breed, enterprise portals, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. Think ultra-enterprise, 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". It seems confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. We frequently repurpose impactful extensible, client-focused TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale fiercely. Think macro-interactive. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? With one click? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable. If you engineer virtually, you may have to maximize seamlessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale the term "global". The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not viral. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and CSS. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is!