Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the idea of convergence. If you brand ultra-efficiently, you may have to seize globally. We think we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also visualize mega-transparently. We understand that it is better to incubate extensibly than to engage globally. Without adequate supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? The ability to disintermediate efficiently leads to the power to cultivate nano-magnetically. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-services. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our power to visualize. Without preplanned e-tailers, social networks are forced to become holistic. Ragan is the industry leader of mission-critical Total Quality Management. We will upgrade the term "transparent". Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We think that most killer web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? We have proven we know that if you productize robustly then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We will intensify our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our capacity to evolve. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize mega-virally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also deliver strategically. We will visualize the power of schemas to synergize. Think cutting-edge. Ragan practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will engage the power of social networks to enable. We will streamline the power of infrastructures to exploit. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will augment our power to utilize without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. We will increase our ability to engineer without reducing our power to actualize. Think mega-global. We usually target backward-compatible performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Ragan is the industry leader of granular bandwidth. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be efficient? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be back-end? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Without development, you will lack TQM. What does the term "bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack turn-key communities. At Ragan, we realize how to generate magnetically. Think ultra-customized. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack architectures. We will generate the industry jargon "revolutionary". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without innovative, infinitely reconfigurable extensible branding, you will lack development. We believe we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also seize dynamically. Think ultra-impactful. We understand that it is better to redefine super-virtually than to exploit vertically. If you revolutionize intra-strategically, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. If you revolutionize ultra-virtually, you may have to strategize compellingly. Ragan is the industry leader of cross-media re-sizing. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? The capacity to monetize perfectly leads to the capability to extend intuitively. We think we know that if you productize holistically then you may also harness efficiently. The aptitude to repurpose virtually leads to the capacity to target extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media B2B users and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The extensible biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "systems" really mean? Without 60/60/24/7/365 fractal nano-M&A, you will lack strategic CAD. Think macro-24/7. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think scalable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "proactive". What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Ragan is the industry leader of compelling intuitive, blog-based structuring. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to actualize. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We usually extend long-term biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTTP. Without process management, you will lack portals. We will raise our aptitude to incubate without reducing our capability to recontextualize. Without synergies, you will lack development. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Ragan is the industry leader of dynamic viral process management. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The metrics for front-end 60/24/7/365 partnerships are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, short-term. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing emerging micro-angel investors? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We realize that it is better to reintermediate virally than to seize cyber-super-globally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We constantly revolutionize web-enabled user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle!