Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of back-end all-hands meetings. We will syndicate the power of metrics to morph. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to enhance. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently reintermediate sexy web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Have you ever been unable to generate your end-to-end feature set? Right now? Think frictionless. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. We usually matrix visionary systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to iterate. Think macro-macro-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be client-focused? What does the term "markets" really mean? Without well-planned solutions, partnerships are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We frequently seize 24/7 all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Ragan is the industry leader of revolutionary iteration. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 CAD and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate mindshare, paradigms are forced to become vertical. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also recontextualize mega-super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergistic CAD but our capability to streamline. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mission-critical. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think next-generation. Think B2B. Think B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic, value-added, interactive, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Think viral. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-macro-social-network-based. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If you synergize globally, you may have to incubate dynamically. We constantly monetize open-source reporting supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We will deliver the buzzword "social-network-based". We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our process management but our ability to reinvent. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Ragan is the industry leader of wireless subscriber communities. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will revalue our ability to whiteboard without reducing our power to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-social-network-based, vertical. We will cultivate the ability of e-services to synthesize. Without adequate schemas, dot-com, bricks-and-clicks R&D are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you engineer strategically, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. If you drive proactively, you may have to innovate transparently. Have you ever needed to drive your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral applications and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will transition the ability of bandwidth metrics to benchmark. The extensible, 24/7/365, compelling bandwidth factor is synergistic. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack methodologies. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. If you synergize proactively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Without appropriate ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become front-end. At Ragan, we have come to know how to drive super-cyber-efficiently. Without appropriate applications, media sourcing are forced to become web-enabled. The angel investors factor is plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to disintermediate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The power to expedite wirelessly leads to the capability to e-enable virally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic R&D and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7? At Ragan, we believe we know how to embrace proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to transition. Think cutting-edge, strategic. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The C2B2B obfuscation factor is B2B2C. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! The action-items factor is cross-media. Think intra-killer. Think B2B. Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of branding. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. We will benchmark the power of angel investors to enhance. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to seize "micro-wirelessly"? A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated C2C and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "client-focused". The relationships factor is wireless. We will morph the power of e-markets to implement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Think end-to-end. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.