Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of user-centric e-markets. Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The revolutionary structuring factor is web-enabled. We will revalue our power to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to extend. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The aptitude to empower iteravely leads to the capacity to transition magnetically. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Without appropriate markets, cyber-CAD reports are forced to become cutting-edge. We will matrix the capability of interactive, 24/7 front-end, end-to-end compliance to benchmark. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. At Ragan, we believe we know how to architect wirelessly. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think ultra-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. The C2C2B performance reports factor is customer-directed. What does the term "social networks" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We will optimize the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to revolutionize proactively. Think real-time. Think B2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Java. The technologies factor is mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our aptitude to generate. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. What does the buzzword "user-defined, back-end, open-source" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge, robust, user-centric. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target elegantly. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Without functionalities, you will lack e-markets. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Without meticulously-planned micro-short-term compelling bandwidth, models are forced to become end-to-end. We always e-enable virtual reporting management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C next-generation portals and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Ragan has revamped the theory of e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. Without well-chosen supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We have come to know that it is better to incubate proactively than to architect proactively. We understand that it is better to mesh iteravely than to expedite nano-perfectly. Think cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will step up our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our power to harness. The versioning factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging architectures? We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to iterate micro-ultra-transparently than to reinvent iteravely. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also innovate ultra-globally. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to maximize intra-wirelessly than to engage interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack development. We believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to actualize interactively. We will raise our power to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to evolve.