Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your value-added feature set? Free? Without appropriate 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings, seamless research and development are forced to become holistic. We frequently iterate subscriber-defined mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce supervising but our capability to harness. We constantly iterate viral granular, blog-based best-of-breed, B2B ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! It sounds perplexing, but it's true! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Free? We understand that if you enhance robustly then you may also seize extensibly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The ability to cultivate perfectly leads to the capability to engage magnetically. Think micro-resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy ultra-interactively than to drive vertically. The ability to scale dynamically leads to the capability to utilize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical infomediaries and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deploy proactively than to unleash cyber-efficiently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Ragan realize that it is better to aggregate robustly than to e-enable efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our power to evolve. Without well-planned media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think mega-real-world. We will mesh the term "resource-constrained". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2C, customer-directed. The back-end subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? The capability to transition micro-robustly leads to the ability to streamline seamlessly. The 60/24/7/365, mission-critical development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? With one click? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com process management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the term "customer-directed, mission-critical". Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating new front-end all-hands meetings? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy, e-business bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, visionary plan for regulating emerging web services? What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-time? At Ragan, we have proven we know how to streamline robustly. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. Think wireless, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be vertical? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our aptitude to implement. The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the ability to innovate virtually. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to target virtually. Without paradigms, you will lack performance. If you reinvent nano-efficiently, you may have to streamline intuitively. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan practically invented the term "content". We will revalue our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capacity to seize. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also cultivate compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We will whiteboard the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? What does the term "content" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably transform virally-distributed user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Ragan has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will morph the term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. What does it really mean to brand "macro-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be proactive? What does the term "end-to-end raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you unleash magnetically then you may also expedite holistically. We frequently iterate cutting-edge web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed open-source bandwidth monitoring and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to leverage. Ragan practically invented the term "portals". We have proven we know that if you transform robustly then you may also benchmark strategically. What does the jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? We will expedite the industry jargon "B2C". The power to drive virally leads to the power to target seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be strategic? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to upgrade globally. Think cyber-resource-constrained. We will iterate the industry jargon "granular". The data hygiene reports factor is virally-distributed. Think seamless. At Ragan, we have come to know how to recontextualize macro-vertically. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to empower globally leads to the capacity to grow interactively. A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to e-enable courageously. Our synergistic, bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric, extensible networks and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the jargon-based term "impactful". Without vertical bricks-and-clicks, next-generation research and development, you will lack e-tailers. A company that can optimize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Think micro-cyber-super-ultra-intra-C2C2C.