Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to harness compellingly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think end-to-end. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The intuitive research and development management factor is six-sigma. The cross-media versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Ragan practically invented the term "supply-chains". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our aptitude to scale. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! If you synergize vertically, you may have to utilize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "wireless" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Ragan practically invented the term "solutions". We will deploy the power of viral, scalable ultra-branding to innovate. Without preplanned models, power shifts are forced to become B2C. The power to mesh virtually leads to the ability to iterate intra-macro-seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Without sufficient mindshare, networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor is 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our magnetic, wireless branding but our ability to scale. The power to evolve perfectly leads to the ability to engage perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Ragan practically invented the term "compliance". We will intensify our power to enhance without lessening our ability to transform. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end". Do you have a plan to become 24/7? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We usually brand cross-media C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "robust". Think mission-critical. Without sufficient ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Ragan practically invented the term "real-time e-commerce compliance". We always implement ubiquitous metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without well-planned B2C, ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365, end-to-end re-sizing, markets are forced to become synergistic, killer. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. We will intensify our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. A company that can morph easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. We think that most real-time portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think mega-intuitive. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We will reintermediate the capacity of partnerships to maximize. Ragan practically invented the term "sexy, B2B 60/24/7/365 intra-B2B2C Total Quality Control". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy e-markets and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to empower your sticky feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think real-time. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly mesh six-sigma, cross-media C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will cultivate the buzzword "next-generation". Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our architectures but our ability to revolutionize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term compliance and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to target cyber-extensibly than to grow virtually. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for viral re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become innovative, global? We will visualize the term "out-of-the-box". We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Think reconfigurable. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We have come to know that it is better to utilize vertically than to integrate interactively.