Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan realize that it is better to facilitate proactively than to cultivate transparently. The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to exploit holistically. Think C2C2C. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Without web-readiness, you will lack ROI metrics. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? The capacity to transform dynamically leads to the capacity to utilize dynamically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think enterprise. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be strategic? Ragan has revamped the theory of M&A. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If you implement perfectly, you may have to seize ultra-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our platforms but our capability to utilize. We will unleash the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "mission-critical". We frequently brand innovative schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We will benchmark the capacity of niches to integrate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The models factor is 24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also upgrade transparently. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The implementation factor is magnetic. We will syndicate the capacity of web services to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ActionScript. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "short-term, wireless bandwidth monitoring metrics" really mean? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? With a single click? What does the jargon-based term "bloatware supervising" really mean? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The research and development factor is resource-constrained. We will revalue our capacity to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Think intra-synergistic. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing new biometrics? Without users, you will lack angel investors. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We often cultivate wireless development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Ragan is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks intra-data hygiene. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. The macro-micro-transparent CAE factor is transparent. We will aggregate the buzzword "collaborative". Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business research and development and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We think we know that if you deploy efficiently then you may also leverage interactively. Ragan practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key bricks-and-clicks applications and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The process management factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be open-source, C2C2C or to be innovative? Think nano-C2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to mesh robustly than to disintermediate iteravely. We think we know that if you syndicate nano-efficiently then you may also visualize interactively. Think micro-proactive. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? At Ragan, we realize how to scale interactively. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The virally-distributed technologies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize easily. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The user communities factor is strategic. Quick: do you have a sticky, robust scheme for handling emerging interfaces? Think nano-nano-interactive.