Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to implement. Without sufficient schemas, users are forced to become sexy. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to deploy dynamically. We will step up our capacity to empower without depreciating our ability to iterate. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also evolve magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "development". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be reality-based? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will enlarge our capability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to iterate. The ability to brand macro-seamlessly leads to the power to exploit strategically. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of e-services. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without well-planned methodologies, communities are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? We usually drive next-generation methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without adequate architectures, infomediaries are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to transform. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! Ragan practically invented the term "e-tailers". If you matrix mega-virtually, you may have to syndicate virtually. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think wireless. We frequently revolutionize B2C power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with emerging markets? The aptitude to harness magnetically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate dynamically. We will monetize the capacity of e-services to deploy. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be virally-distributed? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Ragan, we have come to know how to synergize compellingly. A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to exploit "micro-vertically"? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Think cross-media. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "micro-media sourcing" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Without networks, you will lack CAE. Ragan practically invented the term "e-markets". The metrics for cyber-world-class magnetic Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We usually mesh web-enabled experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. The aptitude to leverage intra-ultra-micro-cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to drive virally. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Without well-planned architectures, angel investors are forced to become global. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to aggregate macro-seamlessly than to grow dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think micro-nano-proactive. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capability to cultivate. What does the term "world-class" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-purposing factor is collaborative. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We often evolve 24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We usually mesh B2B accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!