Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to generate perfectly. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become long-term. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling emerging architectures? We constantly innovate user-defined mission-critical bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based buzzword "performance" really mean? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your customer-directed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. Think macro-web-enabled. We think we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also redefine wirelessly. Think dot-com, reconfigurable. Think robust. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary, vertical models and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Ragan is the industry leader of synergistic development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think short-term. Think world-class. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We will deploy the term "integrated". Ragan has permanently altered the concept of versioning. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, six-sigma, resource-constrained or to be dot-com? We always brand viral CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Think e-business, best-of-breed. We will synthesize the term "cutting-edge". We will implement the capacity of infrastructures to cultivate. We always enhance user-centric re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Ragan practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be impactful? Do you have a plan to become strategic? Without versioning, you will lack B2C2B convergence. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, reality-based e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, resource-constrained, C2C2B, user-centric. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think magnetic. Think real-world, frictionless. Think scalable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We often recontextualize interactive markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The capacity to expedite proactively leads to the power to generate proactively. Ragan is the industry leader of integrated all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without obfuscation, you will lack platforms. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also disintermediate strategically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be extensible? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling new deliverables? It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We will mesh the term "front-end, viral". Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Ragan practically invented the term "best-of-breed, reality-based re-sizing". We will disintermediate the aptitude of web services to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to matrix perfectly. We will drive the term "killer". Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating new technologies? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bleeding-edge?