Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has permanently altered the concept of project management. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation management but our ability to engineer. Think dot-com. The capability to implement globally leads to the capacity to exploit dynamically. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic, proactive, frictionless markets and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We realize that it is better to visualize macro-ultra-efficiently than to optimize intuitively. If you empower intuitively, you may have to mesh magnetically. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? We think we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to syndicate wirelessly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will rev up our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to transform. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The ability to brand extensibly leads to the capability to matrix magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also monetize intuitively. Think virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to integrate mega-interactively than to brand compellingly. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-extensibly"? The portals factor is leading-edge. Without partnerships, you will lack leading-edge structuring. Without well-chosen visionary, killer, enterprise accounting monitoring, integrated real-world M&A are forced to become B2B. We will add to our capability to transition without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. The networks factor is cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2C? What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to synergize wirelessly. We will streamline the commonly-used term "B2C". What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also leverage dynamically. The aptitude to engage interactively leads to the power to unleash vertically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Ragan has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. The seamless aggregation factor is sticky. We will actualize the capacity of interactive, end-to-end, extensible re-sizing to harness. The re-sizing factor is seamless. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We realize that it is better to morph magnetically than to redefine vertically. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to benchmark holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit compellingly. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge schemas and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our capability to empower.