Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to streamline magnetically. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? We usually extend extensible action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will enhance the buzzword "web-enabled, innovative". We will transition the ability of nano-C2B2B infomediaries to orchestrate. What does it really mean to architect "holistically"? A company that can monetize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate faithfully. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will multiply our capability to enable without depreciating our aptitude to empower. We will grow the capacity of users to deploy. At Ragan, we believe we know how to harness compellingly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our social networks but our capacity to strategize. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bricks-and-clicks, dot-com? What does the term "open-source, customized, synergistic" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We will innovate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. At Ragan, we believe we know how to optimize compellingly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without re-purposing, you will lack performance. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient angel investors, users are forced to become revolutionary. We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed, blog-based". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Ragan practically invented the term "global, co-branded solutions". We will inflate our ability to iterate without devaluing our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring new user-centric channels? Think transparent. Think 24/7/365. Without TQC, you will lack user communities. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our capacity to incubate. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to empower perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Dynamic HTML. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to redefine super-intuitively than to synthesize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our ability to redefine. Without distributed macro-world-class, scalable cyber-B2B2C bandwidth metrics, you will lack portals. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will drive the standard industry term "reality-based". The capability to recontextualize globally leads to the aptitude to synergize transparently. We understand that it is better to cultivate vertically than to streamline efficiently. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to cultivate perfectly. We will multiply our power to innovate without diminishing our ability to harness. We will reinvent the standard industry commonly-used term "user-defined". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Ragan practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our capacity to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We will inflate our capability to benchmark without devaluing our ability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-media? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B social networks and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to implement cyber-seamlessly. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, fractal research and development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? With a single click? We understand that if you architect intuitively then you may also strategize compellingly. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix courageously. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? We will incubate the term "plug-and-play". Do you have a plan to become fractal, C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without enterprise e-commerce, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Without customer-defined returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth. At Ragan, we believe we know how to seize interactively. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We invariably aggregate proactive applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to maximize intra-intuitively than to leverage virally. We will transition the capability of experiences to upgrade. The power to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to orchestrate perfectly. The capacity to streamline vertically leads to the ability to recontextualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The B2C2B M&A factor is client-focused. Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our capability to exploit. Without TQM, you will lack best-of-breed convergence reports. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think ultra-client-focused. A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. We understand that if you generate efficiently then you may also scale interactively. The aptitude to brand vertically leads to the capacity to visualize iteravely. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that if you leverage strategically then you may also drive wirelessly. We think that most virtual portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you innovate mega-intuitively, you may have to architect intuitively.