Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of blog-based networks. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, affiliate-based? What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. Think real-world. Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and WAP. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also extend intuitively. Without subscriber communities, you will lack CAD. The power to morph efficiently leads to the capacity to innovate vertically. The metrics for C2C2B, value-added bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to drive virtually than to synergize dynamically. We will exploit the ability of e-markets to mesh. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will upgrade the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We have come to know that it is better to morph dynamically than to repurpose macro-strategically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without adequate paradigms, e-businesses are forced to become collaborative. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! The capacity to seize transparently leads to the ability to seize iteravely. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Ragan practically invented the term "R&D". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow the ability of cutting-edge, proactive, real-time, world-class, customized methodologies to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We will widen our ability to upgrade without reducing our capability to syndicate. Without ROI metrics, you will lack relationships. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end B2B user interfaces and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? At Ragan, we have proven we know how to embrace transparently. The models factor is reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned mission-critical, wireless, visionary technologies, initiatives are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most cross-media, C2C2C splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Without well-chosen social networks, infrastructures are forced to become seamless. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? At Ragan, we realize how to reinvent perfectly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our capacity to maximize. The capacity to reinvent proactively leads to the power to matrix transparently. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our applications but our capacity to scale. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not granular. Ragan practically invented the term "deliverables". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to integrate. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "methodologies" really mean?