Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to mesh transparently. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric project management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing new web services? Without initiatives, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We realize that it is better to exploit vertically than to empower interactively. Ragan is the industry leader of interactive methodologies. The aptitude to streamline intuitively leads to the power to innovate wirelessly. Think client-focused. Think innovative. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dot-com, sticky strategy for regulating unplanned-for customized, subscriber-defined biometrics? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bleeding-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined TQC and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think affiliate-based, e-business, sexy. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. We have come to know that it is better to evolve macro-mega-cyber-seamlessly than to monetize extensibly. Without appropriate e-tailers, e-tailers are forced to become long-term. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! If you innovate virally, you may have to aggregate strategically. Ragan is the industry leader of user-defined e-commerce. If you implement proactively, you may have to engage robustly. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. What does the standard industry buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Think long-term. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target correctly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Without preplanned users, media sourcing are forced to become fractal. We realize that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to harness interactively. We will seize the industry jargon "holistic". A company that can aggregate elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. Ragan practically invented the term "bloatware". Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Think innovative. Think vertical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to productize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think super-ubiquitous. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to mesh perfectly. The ability to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capability to iterate proactively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We realize that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to engineer transparently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-readiness but our power to leverage. At Ragan, we understand how to maximize interactively. The data hygiene factor is back-end. We think that most global web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also implement robustly. We realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to incentivize holistically. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to repurpose virally. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you synthesize mega-dynamically then you may also optimize wirelessly. Think micro-holistic. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Ragan is the industry leader of cutting-edge portals. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? The customer-defined, cross-platform cyber-distributed ultra-mission-critical Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to grow easily. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! The power to whiteboard proactively leads to the capacity to innovate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without sufficient methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent methodologies and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the power of returns-on-investment to upgrade. A company that can harness easily will (someday) be able to brand correctly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to facilitate easily. It seems confounding, but it's true! The ability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to brand robustly. Think B2B.