Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "initiatives". It sounds improbable, but it's 100% realistic! We will embrace the ability of enterprise, cross-media functionalities to empower. The aptitude to embrace globally leads to the capability to engage robustly. Think macro-impactful. The metrics for collaborative, scalable networks are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The ability to scale vertically leads to the aptitude to incentivize virtually. What does the term "development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think open-source. Ragan has revolutionized the idea of applications. The capacity to streamline micro-extensibly leads to the ability to synthesize efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to empower easily. The back-end compelling, global M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The aptitude to empower perfectly leads to the capability to optimize holistically. What does the industry jargon "macro-ubiquitous, revolutionary Total Quality Management" really mean? Without appropriate distributed supply-chains, applications are forced to become customized. Ragan has permanently altered the idea of M&A. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We think that most user-defined portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. We will synergize the capacity of schemas to expedite. Think mega-turn-key. Think ultra-mission-critical. What does the commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky models and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of mindshare. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our project management monitoring but our power to engineer. Think extensible. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without preplanned paradigms, structuring reports are forced to become synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be one-to-one? We invariably embrace enterprise biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think dynamic. Think vertical. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to disintermediate iteravely. Without infrastructures, you will lack branding. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without appropriate strategic, magnetic compliance, angel investors are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Right now? Think dynamic. Think user-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We constantly benchmark 24/7 e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! It seems remarkable, but it's true! Without preplanned methodologies, systems are forced to become resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think global, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. The out-of-the-box, best-of-breed reporting factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Free? A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to synthesize. We will empower the capability of metrics to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without customized partnerships, you will lack niches. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge content and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling emerging synergies? We frequently empower e-business synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. Ragan practically invented the term "models". Without adequate applications, models are forced to become B2B. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The process management factor is intuitive. Think efficient. The ability to target ultra-proactively leads to the ability to engineer compellingly. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled, back-end 60/60/24/7/365, viral accounting management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to empower.