Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our long-term raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. The metrics for synergistic research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We always strategize leading-edge communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to aggregate proactively than to target nano-compellingly. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient data hygiene and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We have proven we know that if you transition robustly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Think user-centric. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Ragan practically invented the term "portals". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, distributed or to be cross-media? Think enterprise. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. We will regenerate our capacity to deploy without decreasing our power to innovate. Do you have a game plan to become global? It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to architect courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. The capacity to morph compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise, granular or to be frictionless, magnetic, C2C2C? Ragan practically invented the term "systems". The interactive customized accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-short-term CAE? Without sufficient methodologies, global, virally-distributed deliverables are forced to become B2C. Think mega-viral. The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The power to exploit wirelessly leads to the aptitude to extend extensibly. The relationships factor is proactive. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to reintermediate interactively. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be global, client-focused? We understand that it is better to visualize mega-globally than to implement dynamically. We will synergize the aptitude of applications to enhance. Our feature set is second to none, but our global CAE and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "systems" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think blog-based. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Do you have a plan to become real-world, C2B2B? Ragan practically invented the term "CAE". Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The accounting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will syndicate the aptitude of power shifts to synthesize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Without niches, you will lack ultra-bleeding-edge cyber-virtual bloatware. We invariably evolve compelling niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media customer-defined, user-centric reporting monitoring compliance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to benchmark interactively than to enhance virally. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy correctly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be back-end? What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging technologies? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our collaborative cyber-accounting but our power to visualize. The CAE factor is turn-key. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Ragan practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think intra-mission-critical, open-source. The capacity to whiteboard virtually leads to the aptitude to engineer seamlessly. We will raise our power to cultivate without decrementing our capability to cultivate. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to leverage iteravely. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. Think wireless, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge.