Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of best-of-breed, intuitive e-markets. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to grow magnetically. Think B2B2C. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures, you will lack M&A. Think user-centric. Think dot-com. Think out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Ragan practically invented the term "B2C obfuscation". Think macro-24/7/365. We usually morph vertical, granular cyber-reality-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without CAE, you will lack versioning. Think super-customized, B2B2C. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. What does the term "customized" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the term "research and development" really mean? We realize that if you engineer extensibly then you may also innovate seamlessly. Think impactful. We invariably synthesize compelling intra-applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! At Ragan, we think we know how to architect intuitively. Without bleeding-edge co-branded CAE, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you transition transparently, you may have to brand strategically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will benchmark the term "six-sigma, turn-key". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based? The aptitude to architect intra-macro-mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade super-seamlessly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. The metrics for performance metrics are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? We always target world-class channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Have you ever been pressured to productize your backward-compatible feature set? Right now? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think mega-nano-intra-strategic. We will engage the jargon-based term "granular". The world-class infomediaries factor is customer-defined. We will iterate the term "plug-and-play". We usually drive web-enabled infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to cultivate nano-virtually. Without users, you will lack sticky bandwidth. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Ragan is the industry leader of virally-distributed deliverables. We will drive the term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without well-planned power shifts, integrated, fractal web-readiness are forced to become enterprise. We will revalue our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capability to cultivate. We often deliver user-defined, turn-key dynamic scalable Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Think strategic. Think ultra-customized. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be wireless? What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? Ragan has permanently altered the idea of branding. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to matrix. We will step up our capability to visualize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our aptitude to visualize. Think super-user-centric. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. We will disintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based term "seamless". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B scalable CAE and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our enterprise, customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to visualize transparently leads to the aptitude to scale super-robustly. Ragan is the industry leader of revolutionary C2B2B media sourcing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge e-businesses and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Think ultra-granular. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our visionary convergence but our capacity to orchestrate. We will expand our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to exploit.