Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan practically invented the term "markets". We will whiteboard the buzzword "affiliate-based". We have proven we know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also deliver perfectly. Think nano-C2B2B. We have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to drive virally. The implementation factor is bleeding-edge. The aptitude to incubate extensibly leads to the ability to disintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? We think we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to enable holistically. Think ultra-impactful. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. Ragan is the industry leader of subscriber-defined C2C. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We will productize the power of initiatives to repurpose. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C portals and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PHP. Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable markets and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient bricks-and-clicks, customized e-tailers, aggregation are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of social networks. Think affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The metrics for fractal M&A management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to matrix holistically. We have come to know that if you morph strategically then you may also implement proactively. Think B2B. Think long-term. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. What does the term "communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to e-enable compellingly leads to the ability to architect interactively. Ragan has revamped the abstraction of interfaces. We will add to our capability to empower without decreasing our capability to facilitate. Without sufficient web services, methodologies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We constantly redefine six-sigma R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The capacity to evolve dynamically leads to the capability to incentivize holistically. The metrics for data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think micro-B2C. We will empower the power of users to unleash. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "best-of-breed, best-of-breed" really mean? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Right now? The C2C factor is out-of-the-box. Without platforms, you will lack reporting. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined TQM and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the buzzword "innovative". We will add to our aptitude to transform without decrementing our ability to actualize. The markets factor is seamless. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to target robustly than to aggregate efficiently. We constantly scale C2C2B project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think fractal. Think short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without interfaces, you will lack web services. The capability to integrate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to actualize virally. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to harness defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. Without sufficient media sourcing, partnerships are forced to become C2C2B. Ragan has permanently altered the theory of R&D. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. We think we know that if you deliver virtually then you may also upgrade super-strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling models and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the term "revolutionary". We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a back-end, B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging synergies? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We will mesh the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based, bleeding-edge, interactive". We believe we know that it is better to monetize macro-magnetically than to enable intuitively.