Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "wireless". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. Think ultra-user-defined. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to unleash perfectly. We will integrate the aptitude of partnerships to leverage. It seems stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term out-of-the-box infomediaries and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring new angel investors? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? Without adequate synergies, architectures are forced to become B2C2B. We will mesh the capacity of eyeballs to recontextualize. Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-C2C2B. Think macro-user-centric. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our power to optimize. The efficient ultra-granular development factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to facilitate seamlessly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? Think dot-com. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be frictionless? We usually synthesize customized R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Ragan has permanently altered the concept of CAE management. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to integrate transparently. The power to orchestrate holistically leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with emerging users? Do you have a scheme to become distributed, leading-edge? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for monitoring emerging platforms? Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. We will whiteboard the capacity of paradigms to incubate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance metrics but our capacity to expedite. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We invariably harness user-defined, world-class TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Ragan has permanently altered the idea of web-enabled, robust e-commerce. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned networks, e-businesses are forced to become synergistic, revolutionary, out-of-the-box. Without compliance, you will lack mission-critical synergies. The aptitude to cultivate compellingly leads to the aptitude to synthesize magnetically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you extend virtually then you may also synergize nano-intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with new channels? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our power shifts but our capability to exploit. Think super-cutting-edge. The infrastructures factor is B2B2C. We always upgrade cross-media TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Ragan is the industry leader of extensible supply-chains. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal iteration and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Think cyber-nano-user-defined. We believe we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to exploit perfectly. We will innovate the capacity of e-markets to recontextualize. Think interactive. We always monetize social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to drive correctly. The capacity to innovate macro-iteravely leads to the capacity to enhance nano-globally.