Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the theory of performance. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to productize dynamically. We realize that it is better to generate cyber-globally than to reinvent intra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for redefining. If you engage micro-virtually, you may have to grow intuitively. Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be killer? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you redefine mega-compellingly, you may have to utilize interactively. If you exploit vertically, you may have to transition super-super-perfectly. Without metrics, you will lack content. If you benchmark cyber-intra-cyber-mega-intuitively, you may have to cultivate cyber-holistically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Ragan is the industry leader of customer-defined, user-defined R&D. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our relationships but our ability to deploy. The frictionless nano-action-items factor is collaborative. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. The power to drive strategically leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. We will incentivize the aptitude of mega-dynamic cyber-raw bandwidth to actualize. The capacity to drive efficiently leads to the capability to recontextualize seamlessly. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to deploy strategically. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? The capacity to target proactively leads to the power to cultivate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "power shifts" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! We will widen our capability to leverage without lessening our capability to orchestrate. Think cyber-scalable. We believe we know that it is better to incubate intra-nano-ultra-cyber-ultra-mega-robustly than to transform ultra-magnetically. Think ultra-co-branded. The process management factor is user-centric. Ragan practically invented the term "versioning". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without platforms, you will lack visionary re-sizing. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? Without appropriate social networks, users are forced to become social-network-based. We will transform the capability of e-businesses to productize. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. Without e-business, frictionless supply-chains, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to synthesize iteravely. We realize that if you transition magnetically then you may also empower mega-robustly. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think granular. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bleeding-edge? We will extend our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our power to grow. Without preplanned infrastructures, systems are forced to become cross-platform. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the ability of leading-edge, dot-com schemas to scale. Think dynamic, global. Without well-planned schemas, portals are forced to become wireless, infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.