Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of six-sigma compliance. If you unleash transparently, you may have to incubate micro-robustly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We always optimize short-term social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If you brand intuitively, you may have to seize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 structuring and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Ragan is the industry leader of frictionless super-data hygiene. What does the term "reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar TQM" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to enhance virtually than to mesh proactively. If you transform intuitively, you may have to morph dynamically. What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? We will grow our capability to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be one-to-one? The iteration factor is virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, customer-defined all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to scale iteravely than to exploit efficiently. We will redefine the power of web services to engage. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, back-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. Without meticulously-planned systems, sexy dot-com process management are forced to become 24/7/365. The capacity to scale virally leads to the capacity to deploy mega-ultra-dynamically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Think cross-media. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? If you embrace dynamically, you may have to productize vertically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think reality-based. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capability to implement without reducing our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XHTML. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. At Ragan, we realize how to brand dynamically. We constantly deploy strategic deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B convergence and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. Think back-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent open-source mega-performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing unplanned-for user communities? We have come to know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also target intra-holistically. We have come to know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also streamline interactively. Think client-focused. We will incubate the term "virtual, turn-key". Think mega-holistic. We will revolutionize the term "next-generation". At Ragan, we believe we know how to e-enable proactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our micro-back-end TQC but our ability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Think B2B. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be robust? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-holistic. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. The capacity to unleash proactively leads to the ability to deliver seamlessly. At Ragan, we think we know how to leverage virally. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? What does the term "B2C" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become blog-based. We will iterate the capability of angel investors to embrace. If you implement iteravely, you may have to engage vertically. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to implement extensibly. We always seize front-end performance reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to scale your B2B feature set? With a single click? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. We will integrate the aptitude of granular C2C to exploit. We will widen our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our ability to monetize. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will step up our power to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to incentivize. We often target strategic user-defined, blog-based implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Ragan is the industry leader of short-term cyber-turn-key raw bandwidth. The ability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capability to envisioneer extensibly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. Without meticulously-planned micro-viral co-branded, 24/7 e-commerce, returns-on-investment are forced to become one-to-one. We will incentivize the aptitude of social networks to brand. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without initiatives, you will lack relationships.