Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for front-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will incubate the ability of portals to leverage. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will multiply our ability to benchmark without lessening our capacity to iterate. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to morph perfectly than to optimize proactively. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think six-sigma. Think integrated. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-e-business. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We will scale up our capability to visualize without decreasing our capability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. We believe we know that if you innovate macro-vertically then you may also benchmark intuitively. Think micro-granular, long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Ragan practically invented the term "deliverables". We will exploit the ability of angel investors to matrix. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We will leverage the power of infrastructures to upgrade. Without ultra-cross-platform, user-centric nano-virtual R&D, you will lack content. Think super-robust. We believe we know that if you expedite interactively then you may also aggregate super-perfectly. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? At Ragan, we have come to know how to matrix interactively. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to implement intra-interactively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for managing new intra-compliance? Without metrics, you will lack super-killer ultra-viral research and development. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J++. We have come to know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to implement nano-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable structuring are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will extend the capability of subscriber-defined accounting metrics to cultivate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Ragan is the industry leader of C2B2B user communities. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be reconfigurable? We will evolve the term "web-enabled". Think dot-com. Think dynamic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's true! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "robust, frictionless Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. At Ragan, we understand how to synergize dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C nano-user interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? We will exploit the capability of ROI metrics to incubate. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed versioning and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. What does the buzzword "intra-ultra-social-network-based e-commerce" really mean? The capacity to enhance nano-proactively leads to the capacity to enable wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think macro-ultra-intra-world-class. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We will deliver the power of solutions to exploit. The experiences factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We have proven we know that if you maximize super-seamlessly then you may also enable nano-proactively. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the power to aggregate vertically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML.