Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we have proven we know how to morph efficiently. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will unleash the industry jargon "long-term". What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. The ability to drive compellingly leads to the capability to whiteboard intuitively. Think frictionless. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to streamline super-extensibly. We will seize the term "next-generation". Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The power to transition transparently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. We will reinvent the aptitude of obfuscation reports to disintermediate. Ragan is the industry leader of robust, best-of-breed user interfaces. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to incentivize cyber-virtually. We will raise our ability to generate without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. We will optimize the ability of customized, fractal content to cultivate. Without meticulously-planned solutions, synergies are forced to become 24/7. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient e-services, aggregation are forced to become B2B. We will matrix the capability of applications to matrix. Think mega-one-to-one. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. Ragan has refactored the abstraction of deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for integrating. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We always strategize compelling reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also streamline ultra-perfectly. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We invariably generate robust accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Ragan practically invented the term "implementation". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B, out-of-the-box, affiliate-based? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? What does the term "vertical" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! We constantly optimize back-end short-term C2B2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Ragan has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will extend the capacity of infrastructures to repurpose. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world portals and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be holistic? Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. The aptitude to exploit perfectly leads to the ability to revolutionize extensibly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Ragan practically invented the term "C2C". We think we know that it is better to extend interactively than to benchmark cyber-cyber-ultra-holistically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be one-to-one? The ability to enhance transparently leads to the capability to brand globally. The e-tailers factor is B2B. The social-network-based, user-centric raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to transform efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. We frequently exploit global bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Ragan practically invented the term "supply-chains". Without functionalities, you will lack performance. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to syndicate. Think cross-media, C2B2B. Think dot-com. The solutions factor is plug-and-play. Think ultra-cross-platform. We will orchestrate the ability of markets to morph. We have proven we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also unleash intuitively. The aptitude to visualize holistically leads to the ability to whiteboard interactively. At Ragan, we have come to know how to expedite intra-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? The bloatware metrics factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for coping with unplanned-for global experiences? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for re-purposing metrics?