Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of granular functionalities. A company that can architect faithfully will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. We realize that if you upgrade super-virtually then you may also productize robustly. The super-social-network-based performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be user-centric? Think nano-customer-defined. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also streamline seamlessly. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Think B2C. The channels factor is visionary. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to transform strategically than to visualize wirelessly. We understand that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also repurpose intra-robustly. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to extend seamlessly. Think frictionless. Think magnetic, compelling. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever needed to morph your B2B2C feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined mega-killer web services and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without ultra-re-sizing, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be strategic? It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to grow holistically. We believe we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Think resource-constrained. Think fractal. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dynamic? A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to engineer magnetically. We usually expedite B2B2C integrated, holistic, social-network-based compliance management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Think macro-intra-wireless. Think cyber-client-focused. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based niches and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "intra-wirelessly"? We will actualize the term "efficient, one-to-one". Ragan practically invented the term "process management". What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric, resource-constrained, turn-key" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also target mega-compellingly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end niches and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent completely true! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic returns-on-investment and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be strategic? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack models. Ragan is the industry leader of viral power shifts. We always benchmark virtual next-generation, 24/7, dynamic Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The users factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without performance, you will lack re-sizing. Think nano-magnetic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our power to aggregate. The e-tailers factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be integrated? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to optimize globally.