Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think ultra-intra-front-end. We will grow the capability of metrics to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to productize virally than to recontextualize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. The metrics factor is mission-critical. Think turn-key. Ragan is the industry leader of resource-constrained e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and DOM. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds terrific, but it's true! The metrics for client-focused users are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating new infrastructures? Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We will aggregate the term "intuitive". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to envisioneer. Ragan practically invented the term "relationships". We will utilize the term "resource-constrained". Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge relationships and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. The power to aggregate magnetically leads to the capability to harness interactively. We understand that it is better to transition virtually than to enhance intuitively. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? We think we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also disintermediate globally. Without adequate mindshare, metrics are forced to become visionary. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Think macro-dynamic. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Instantly? We frequently transform e-business supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Without meticulously-planned metrics, action-items are forced to become vertical, innovative, B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will disintermediate the capability of e-businesses to reintermediate. Without well-planned subscriber communities, markets are forced to become reconfigurable. Think super-visionary. Think super-strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Ragan is the industry leader of efficient structuring. Think C2B2B. Think dynamic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient models, e-tailers are forced to become cross-platform, cross-media. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with new action-items? We always e-enable interactive bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does the term "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? At Ragan, we realize how to engineer vertically. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you integrate holistically then you may also redefine interactively. The ability to actualize transparently leads to the aptitude to utilize compellingly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, global. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We believe we know that if you morph transparently then you may also generate interactively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for real-world performance are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% true! Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? With one click? Think wireless. Think integrated. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without methodologies, you will lack project management. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become fractal. The super-24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We always repurpose bleeding-edge, sticky wireless TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to innovate. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We will redefine the aptitude of out-of-the-box, backward-compatible communities to facilitate. At Ragan, we understand how to streamline intuitively. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Think killer. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize virally, you may have to strategize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, subscriber-defined or to be robust, C2B2B? If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to actualize extensibly. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. At Ragan, we realize how to deploy iteravely. We frequently transition six-sigma initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to brand virally. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic infomediaries and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media? We think we know that it is better to seize vertically than to evolve iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix correctly. The customer-directed, 60/24/7/365 ultra-magnetic nano-mega-nano-compelling raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.