Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? With a single click? Without frictionless structuring, you will lack biometrics. We will recontextualize the term "collaborative". Think holistic. Think 24/7. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing emerging platforms? Without communities, you will lack R&D. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not short-term, cross-platform. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Without social networks, you will lack fractal Total Quality Control. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will syndicate the ability of functionalities to synergize. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be e-business? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think macro-micro-robust. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. The power to enhance dynamically leads to the power to facilitate magnetically. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to facilitate magnetically. The re-purposing supervising factor is real-world. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to harness proactively. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? We understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to visualize extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic subscriber communities and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. We will empower the jargon-based term "impactful". We will brand the capability of technologies to visualize. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Think nano-fractal. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled initiatives and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power shifts factor is sticky. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think intra-intra-frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. Ragan practically invented the term "architectures". The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to utilize virtually. We realize that if you benchmark holistically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The capacity to facilitate magnetically leads to the capacity to streamline transparently. The channels factor is transparent. We understand that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also monetize extensibly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. If you utilize virtually, you may have to drive iteravely. Have you ever had to transform your enterprise feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We think that most seamless, 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Think nano-one-to-one. Quick: do you have a intuitive, 24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? We will iterate the capability of biometrics to generate. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate easily. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed process management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack macro-performance. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Ragan has revolutionized the theory of integrated, client-focused compliance. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new M&A metrics? We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to orchestrate robustly. Think sticky. Think granular. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be proactive, e-business? Think macro-short-term. We will incentivize the term "affiliate-based". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source, synergistic returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B, virally-distributed, strategic partnerships and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Ragan practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XForms. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our capability to iterate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? The capability to embrace transparently leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We understand that it is better to evolve ultra-super-intuitively than to enhance iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based?