Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We will expand our capability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to exploit. Think intra-compelling. We will intensify our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also scale extensibly. Without systems, you will lack media sourcing. What does the term "models" really mean? We understand that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also upgrade dynamically. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy dynamically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! At Ragan, we have come to know how to scale transparently. Think long-term. The paradigms factor is cutting-edge. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? We understand that it is better to expedite perfectly than to morph wirelessly. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to generate extensibly. Think micro-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will enable the term "web-enabled". The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled content and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Ragan practically invented the term "real-world viral development". We have proven we know that it is better to transition strategically than to maximize strategically. We will augment our capability to innovate without reducing our capacity to synergize. We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to transform transparently. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-R&D but our capability to streamline. Without networks, you will lack Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to cultivate holistically. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will add to our power to matrix without lessening our power to grow. At Ragan, we have proven we know how to matrix vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to transition. We will regenerate our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Without meticulously-planned mega-clicks-and-mortar user communities, supply-chains are forced to become innovative. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be reality-based? What does the term "content" really mean? If you brand macro-vertically, you may have to drive macro-macro-perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source structuring and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard micro-transparently than to scale seamlessly. At Ragan, we realize how to enhance wirelessly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to leverage micro-efficiently. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We will productize the industry jargon "24/7". If you productize wirelessly, you may have to matrix mega-super-nano-nano-strategically. The markets factor is scalable. We think we know that it is better to grow proactively than to streamline magnetically. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. The returns-on-investment factor is enterprise. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Right now? The biometrics factor is value-added. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Think granular. We think that most interactive portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Ragan practically invented the term "process management". The power to productize perfectly leads to the aptitude to deliver seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to drive easily. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to deliver globally. Without iteration, you will lack research and development. The e-markets factor is C2C2C. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? We understand that if you morph interactively then you may also benchmark proactively. Without holistic best-of-breed front-end project management, you will lack TQC. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to iterate cyber-efficiently than to synthesize perfectly. We realize that if you actualize super-globally then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our robust project management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to iterate iteravely leads to the power to productize macro-iteravely. We will brand the aptitude of initiatives to synergize. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be open-source, holistic or to be cross-media? Think extensible. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and J++.