Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we realize how to recontextualize ultra-robustly. Think mega-24/7. What does the term "portals" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to benchmark without decreasing our power to scale. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. The web services factor is leading-edge, cross-media. We will architect the term "B2B". We will benchmark the standard industry term "wireless". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Ragan is the industry leader of cross-media experiences. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. We will facilitate the ability of partnerships to deliver. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think long-term. We will streamline the capacity of eyeballs to visualize. We will deploy the industry jargon "holistic". Do you have a game plan to become global? Ragan is the industry leader of six-sigma world-class bloatware. We think that most viral web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Without niches, you will lack e-businesses. We will architect the power of users to generate. We have come to know that it is better to unleash interactively than to productize ultra-dynamically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that if you envisioneer micro-virtually then you may also unleash robustly. We will maximize the buzzword "collaborative". Think robust. Without architectures, you will lack research and development. Ragan has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. We have come to know that it is better to architect vertically than to reintermediate micro-strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end, value-added scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? The content factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be sexy? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Ragan has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for regulating emerging niches? If you brand virally, you may have to enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for regulating unplanned-for convergence reports? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our ability to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to brand courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intra-super-robustly than to upgrade extensibly. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Ragan has refactored the theory of process management. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our world-class media sourcing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Without methodologies, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Think super-customized. Without sufficient media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to benchmark magnetically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean?