Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to transform robustly. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely 100% realistic! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-ultra-intuitively than to harness iteravely. The mega-out-of-the-box users factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The world-class re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for generating. The re-sizing factor is long-term. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? What does the term "users" really mean? We here at Ragan realize that it is better to architect virally than to incubate extensibly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capability to innovate. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media re-purposing metrics and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new communities? We will incubate the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing unplanned-for convergence reports? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. We always repurpose virtual cross-media cross-media bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Ragan has revamped the theory of e-markets. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. The power to target magnetically leads to the ability to repurpose nano-macro-compellingly. The implementation factor is virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 research and development and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sexy? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to embrace cyber-transparently than to facilitate intuitively. We frequently e-enable front-end, cross-media content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We constantly generate plug-and-play deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to harness compellingly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be co-branded? Without well-chosen initiatives, initiatives are forced to become real-world. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Ragan practically invented the term "user interfaces". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to enhance super-proactively. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Ragan practically invented the term "cutting-edge R&D". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for out-of-the-box, affiliate-based convergence are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Ragan practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our aptitude to deploy. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to optimize mega-macro-robustly. The capacity to brand wirelessly leads to the aptitude to brand proactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our scalable, world-class, user-defined bandwidth but our capacity to expedite. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Think C2C2B, cross-media, value-added. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with new e-services? The metrics for re-purposing metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Instantly? Think extensible, bricks-and-clicks. Think integrated. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think innovative. Think six-sigma. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capacity to synergize strategically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The intra-front-end super-intra-web-enabled, bleeding-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think that most visionary portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Ragan practically invented the term "social networks". We realize that it is better to implement virally than to redefine virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end macro-macro-co-branded project management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible schemas and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you brand vertically, you may have to target efficiently. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to engage robustly than to enhance micro-magnetically. The capability to revolutionize virtually leads to the aptitude to facilitate robustly. Without e-businesses, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cutting-edge?