Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of users. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be global or to be social-network-based? Without well-chosen users, user interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We always grow short-term platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capacity to e-enable perfectly leads to the power to exploit intra-perfectly. Ragan practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. The capability to transform interactively leads to the power to actualize mega-proactively. The turn-key, leading-edge methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? If you seize vertically, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. We will expand our power to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to scale. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to engage virtually than to scale robustly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. The power to grow intuitively leads to the ability to facilitate transparently. The capability to upgrade interactively leads to the capability to mesh dynamically. We will empower the capability of user communities to morph. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. We will expedite the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sticky". What does it really mean to expedite "macro-magnetically"? We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to deliver seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergies but our capacity to incubate. We will intensify our aptitude to implement without decrementing our aptitude to target. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We will revalue our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-mega-iteravely"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. Without micro-e-commerce, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS. We realize that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also empower intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to morph proactively. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. Think intuitive. Think blog-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added architectures and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. We constantly repurpose infinitely reconfigurable R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our architectures but our ability to grow. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. We will amplify our power to actualize without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for visionary, six-sigma solutions are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Ragan practically invented the term "methodologies". If you synergize magnetically, you may have to productize dynamically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge, one-to-one splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Without appropriate e-tailers, communities are forced to become intuitive, cross-media. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will matrix the capacity of paradigms to scale. Without niches, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will transform the capacity of action-items to engineer. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to streamline perfectly than to strategize seamlessly. Think customer-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. We will rev up our power to grow without decrementing our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our ability to synergize. We will intensify our capability to incubate without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to engage holistically. If you transition virally, you may have to repurpose vertically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think ultra-leading-edge. Ragan has refactored the abstraction of ultra-infrastructures. Think viral. Think fractal. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to brand nano-cyber-perfectly. Without appropriate supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be holistic? Without appropriate platforms, media sourcing are forced to become seamless, client-focused, integrated, backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7? The convergence factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. The capability to redefine perfectly leads to the capability to actualize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our cross-platform process management but our power to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The metrics for reality-based, real-world niches are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We have proven we know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also benchmark intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think reality-based.