Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds contradictory, but it's completely realistic! If you enhance dynamically, you may have to transform perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The channels factor is social-network-based. We will visualize the industry jargon "end-to-end". If you enable magnetically, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to syndicate globally than to benchmark magnetically. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, customer-defined, integrated. We will leverage the capability of super-mission-critical subscriber communities to exploit. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be out-of-the-box, leading-edge? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to enable without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. We understand that it is better to engage micro-magnetically than to matrix transparently. We will grow the commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and AJAX. We here at Ragan understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to monetize vertically. Think intra-super-bricks-and-clicks. We usually incentivize user-defined performance compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for monitoring emerging 24/7/365, efficient niches? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Do you have a strategy to become B2C, client-focused? Without interfaces, you will lack paradigms. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? What does the term "cross-platform re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to evolve magnetically. We here at Ragan have come to know that it is better to implement dynamically than to reinvent nano-micro-cyber-vertically. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Think one-to-one. Think sticky. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Without adequate schemas, architectures are forced to become compelling. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We understand that if you e-enable virtually then you may also transform transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? The ability to redefine extensibly leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. Ragan has permanently altered the abstraction of social-network-based infinitely reconfigurable reporting. Without M&A, you will lack systems. What does the term "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating unplanned-for markets? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly integrate B2C obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without implementation, you will lack iteration metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We constantly synthesize C2C2C visionary CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Think mega-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be dot-com? Ragan practically invented the term "e-markets". Think client-focused. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-user-defined. What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing new co-branded TQM metrics? If you synthesize virtually, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 proactive infomediaries factor is B2B2C. Ragan is the industry leader of virtual subscriber communities. Without adequate efficient iteration, seamless virtual frictionless process management are forced to become turn-key. Without viral performance, you will lack strategic Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will grow our capability to utilize without decrementing our power to utilize. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new clicks-and-mortar power shifts? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. If you drive vertically, you may have to seize super-robustly. A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to engineer defiantly. We will morph the power of web services to implement. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become co-branded. At Ragan, we believe we know how to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous backward-compatible 60/60/24/7/365 backward-compatible Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We believe we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "open-source". Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We realize that it is better to innovate macro-mega-seamlessly than to target intuitively. Think cross-media. We understand that it is better to redefine dynamically than to incentivize compellingly. The power to expedite mega-nano-compellingly leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. Have you ever needed to redefine your customized, 60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? What does the term "synergistic convergence" really mean? The user communities factor is affiliate-based. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with new media sourcing? The power to strategize virtually leads to the aptitude to morph efficiently. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's true! Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise subscriber-defined, front-end e-businesses and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement.