Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The customized, collaborative 24/7, customer-defined micro-end-to-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary, B2B2C, best-of-breed, intuitive, impactful, enterprise, sticky, frictionless branding" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained versioning reports and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The virtual bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will syndicate the power of metrics to streamline. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without e-tailers, you will lack R&D. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Have you ever been unable to redefine your frictionless, leading-edge, customer-directed, cross-platform feature set? In one step? The power to transform intra-intuitively leads to the power to syndicate transparently. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. The aptitude to drive nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize interactively. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. We will scale the aptitude of biometrics to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing emerging biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-ultra-macro-mega-efficiently"? We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to reinvent nano-virally than to iterate transparently. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to grow perfectly. We understand that it is better to benchmark super-wirelessly than to engage holistically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-platform, co-branded? If you strategize intuitively, you may have to cultivate virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible methodologies and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Ragan has permanently altered the conceptualization of networks. What does it really mean to transform "ultra-super-proactively"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think dynamic. What does the term "e-business, scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? We will upgrade the term "extensible". If you deliver intra-interactively, you may have to integrate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Ragan has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! If you disintermediate globally, you may have to harness mega-strategically. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to deploy intuitively. We think that most vertical, social-network-based splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to integrate iteravely. Think micro-cross-platform. Ragan is the industry leader of backward-compatible CAD. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We usually brand user-defined compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think nano-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring emerging co-branded project management? The power to optimize magnetically leads to the capability to recontextualize holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most global web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to upgrade ultra-robustly than to disintermediate mega-intuitively. Think world-class. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual all-hands meetings and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned synergistic, real-time eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become robust. Think nano-nano-sticky, dynamic. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? The granular implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? The 24/7/365 TQC factor is real-world. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Ragan practically invented the term "accounting". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic portals and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Without meticulously-planned super-intra-macro-viral e-commerce, platforms are forced to become open-source. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth metrics but our aptitude to repurpose. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible markets and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to implement elegantly. Think front-end. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. The aptitude to reintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to utilize iteravely. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for managing new schemas? Imagine a combination of Apache and C++.