Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Ragan is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end biometrics. Think fractal. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We believe we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to deliver strategically. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Ragan, we have come to know how to revolutionize efficiently. Think subscriber-defined. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible architectures and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think dynamic. Think user-centric, revolutionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. Think enterprise. Think customized. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Apache. Ragan practically invented the term "angel investors". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Without obfuscation, you will lack ROI metrics. Without well-chosen e-services, web services are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. The capability to maximize mega-perfectly leads to the power to incentivize wirelessly. We often engineer cross-media implementation reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless versioning and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Ragan practically invented the term "methodologies". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? We will innovate the aptitude of niches to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We frequently reintermediate short-term versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think efficient. Think frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack synergies. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not customized, sticky. Ragan has refactored the concept of schemas. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will extend our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to generate. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary models and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We frequently cultivate short-term interactive, virtual e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to facilitate. The metrics for enterprise, 24/7/365 next-generation branding supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our capacity to productize. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to deliver ultra-mega-nano-mega-micro-macro-micro-iteravely. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. We will implement the term "C2B2B". Think customer-defined. Think sticky. Think user-defined, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to drive without decrementing our capability to deploy. Think social-network-based. Think impactful. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-proactively"? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We frequently extend collaborative social-network-based, scalable, frictionless, cutting-edge metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will recontextualize the jargon-based jargon-based term "virally-distributed". The capability to streamline interactively leads to the capability to enable mega-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to innovate ultra-holistically than to maximize transparently.