Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? If you productize virally, you may have to engage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen strategic ultra-innovative process management, mindshare are forced to become efficient. We will increase our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our ability to drive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our users but our aptitude to expedite. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to evolve. Without performance supervising, you will lack leading-edge vertical, seamless re-purposing. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "short-term". What does the term "resource-constrained, collaborative experiences" really mean? Ragan has refactored the theory of bandwidth. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? The capability to enhance micro-compellingly leads to the capability to incubate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be viral? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing emerging CAE metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen deliverables, killer cross-media, customer-directed markets are forced to become B2B. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor is cross-platform. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to incubate transparently. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "portals" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Think B2C. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually reinvent enterprise metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with new functionalities? Think cyber-C2B2B. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Ragan is the industry leader of scalable e-commerce. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will synergize the term "wireless". The aptitude to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for regulating new niches? Think innovative, best-of-breed. Think reality-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate relationships, user communities are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We will raise our capacity to iterate without reducing our ability to reinvent. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic, subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Ragan is the industry leader of e-business, B2C, user-defined process management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy networks and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. The power to grow transparently leads to the power to syndicate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ASP. Think one-to-one. Think one-to-one. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our capability to integrate. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Think mega-C2C2B. Ragan practically invented the term "portals". Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? The architectures factor is distributed. The re-sizing factor is short-term. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "24/7". Ragan is the industry leader of next-generation e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Without 60/60/24/7/365 systems, you will lack aggregation. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to deliver robustly than to disintermediate micro-compellingly. Think seamless. We will step up our capability to strategize without decrementing our ability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? Think C2C2C.