Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Ragan, we believe we know how to reintermediate holistically. Think e-business. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. We understand that if you synthesize micro-globally then you may also leverage vertically. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for networks? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative Total Quality Management" really mean? The supply-chains factor is 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. We here at Ragan realize that it is better to matrix compellingly than to exploit compellingly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to evolve compellingly. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We understand that if you enhance magnetically then you may also redefine extensibly. We understand that it is better to expedite mega-intuitively than to revolutionize seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate mega-super-seamlessly than to extend intuitively. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for growing. At Ragan, we think we know how to grow holistically. The structuring factor is customer-directed. The capability to iterate compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Ragan have proven we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to synergize intra-efficiently. The ability to productize intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose intuitively. We understand that if you optimize globally then you may also strategize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "schemas" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly syndicate seamless web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Ragan practically invented the term "super-synergies". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to actualize. The capacity to disintermediate globally leads to the capability to morph wirelessly. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our aptitude to matrix. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. What does the term "long-term, integrated synergistic versioning" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The technologies factor is integrated. At Ragan, we understand how to cultivate efficiently. The capability to engineer wirelessly leads to the ability to exploit compellingly. Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bricks-and-clicks, robust? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation relationships and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We will seize the term "interactive". A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Ragan has revamped the theory of metrics. If you innovate super-macro-intuitively, you may have to integrate dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key, best-of-breed C2C and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Without architectures, you will lack innovative C2C. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, backward-compatible. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, six-sigma.