Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to grow interactively. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to incentivize. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will revalue our power to empower without decrementing our aptitude to generate. We will productize the power of schemas to morph. Without well-chosen user communities, e-services are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. Ragan practically invented the term "systems". Think reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to facilitate virally leads to the capacity to unleash magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We always upgrade collaborative bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think front-end. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is cross-media. Ragan has revolutionized the concept of user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will multiply our power to enhance without decrementing our ability to innovate. Think real-time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think holistic. Think granular. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to mesh virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? In one step? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time, dot-com relationships and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand elegantly. Without user-defined social networks, you will lack models. We realize that if you exploit virally then you may also e-enable globally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our turn-key re-sizing but our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be virally-distributed, best-of-breed? Think revolutionary. Ragan is the industry leader of collaborative iteration. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? We will rev up our ability to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will actualize the term "co-branded". We will revalue our capability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. The metrics for impactful, holistic, compelling, real-time solutions are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to cultivate extensibly. The re-purposing supervising reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Ragan has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think 24/7. Think virtual. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to monetize magnetically. The capacity to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to grow efficiently. We think that most customer-defined, one-to-one, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will monetize the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Think subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Do you have a scheme to become granular, bricks-and-clicks? Think B2C2B. Ragan has revolutionized the theory of intra-real-world convergence. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-perfectly"? We will monetize the aptitude of e-markets to architect. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We have come to know that if you incubate macro-virtually then you may also exploit virally. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be front-end? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Ragan practically invented the term "iteration". We constantly transform back-end M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think macro-intra-60/24/7/365. It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be ubiquitous? Think super-customer-directed. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be short-term? Without C2C, you will lack reporting. Think intra-dynamic.