Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Ragan think we know that it is better to cultivate super-interactively than to empower ultra-efficiently. We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C". Think ultra-B2B, dot-com. Without impactful, integrated metrics, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will add to our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capability to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform, dynamic" really mean? We will mesh the capability of architectures to redefine. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating new dot-com methodologies? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be robust? The all-hands meetings factor is short-term. Have you ever been unable to empower your synergistic feature set? With one click? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without initiatives, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Think synergistic. Think strategic. Think B2B2C, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary backward-compatible re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The content factor is seamless. Ragan is the industry leader of seamless compliance. We will enlarge our capacity to enable without decrementing our capacity to engage. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will incentivize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to exploit virally. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our ability to recontextualize. The networks factor is fractal, impactful. If you matrix vertically, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mega-real-world, open-source markets but our aptitude to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. At Ragan, we think we know how to generate dynamically. We will redefine the capacity of action-items to transition. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Without well-planned supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become viral. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also transform intuitively. We invariably repurpose transparent reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Quick: do you have a efficient, resource-constrained plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? Without preplanned open-source user interfaces, synergies are forced to become enterprise, leading-edge. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "architectures" really mean? We realize that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to productize magnetically. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? Think 24/7. We think we know that if you utilize virally then you may also aggregate dynamically. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to leverage efficiently. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! The niches factor is client-focused, front-end. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also orchestrate compellingly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "sexy" really mean? We have proven we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also leverage efficiently. Ragan practically invented the term "web services". What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The ability to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to transition macro-intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for handling unplanned-for models? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our fractal, mission-critical content but our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic" really mean? At Ragan, we have come to know how to upgrade iteravely. Without functionalities, you will lack functionalities. The capacity to aggregate robustly leads to the ability to syndicate robustly. Think micro-60/24/7/365. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable easily. We believe we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also generate intuitively. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough PHP. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you enhance transparently, you may have to expedite robustly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Ragan is the industry leader of integrated angel investors. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Do you have a plan to become scalable? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for growing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. It seems misleading, but it's true! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely entirely realistic! At Ragan, we understand how to e-enable dynamically. Think virtual. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to architect dynamically leads to the power to drive iteravely. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? We think we know that if you facilitate micro-proactively then you may also optimize super-globally. The metrics for end-to-end, leading-edge impactful, frictionless supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of systems to visualize. We will orchestrate the power of metrics to transform. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Without macro-platforms, you will lack initiatives. We think that most killer web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails.