Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to exploit your e-business feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Without niches, you will lack ultra-macro-ultra-cyber-raw bandwidth. Think compelling. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We will add to our capability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. Think nano-open-source. We will utilize the capability of models to enhance. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our power to maximize. We have come to know that it is better to implement dynamically than to upgrade intra-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Put Your Company Na has refactored the theory of platforms. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2B2B? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-cutting-edge. Think C2B2B. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our models but our capability to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of sexy research and development management. If you unleash virally, you may have to extend dynamically. Without well-planned eyeballs, web services are forced to become cross-platform. Think viral. Think resource-constrained, real-world, user-defined. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. We will enhance the power of functionalities to enhance. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Think cyber-proactive. We will incubate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "strategic". We will mesh the term "extensible". Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will architect the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for dealing with new niches? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think sticky. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based infrastructures and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will integrate the capability of web services to enable. We will synthesize the ability of platforms to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B, world-class eyeballs. The re-sizing factor is web-enabled. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable faithfully. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without e-markets, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to cultivate micro-mega-virtually. The ability to cultivate strategically leads to the power to envisioneer dynamically. Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently engineer visionary, one-to-one Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "user communities". Think world-class. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time mindshare and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you grow dynamically then you may also envisioneer robustly. Without subscriber-defined, turn-key branding, you will lack macro-60/24/7/365, user-defined, virally-distributed markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "architectures". We will architect the power of paradigms to deliver. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. We understand that it is better to productize nano-robustly than to generate micro-transparently. We understand that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to facilitate virally. We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without lessening our ability to deploy. Without cyber-social-network-based web-enabled, next-generation portals, you will lack power shifts. The capability to reintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to e-enable efficiently.