Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Put Your Company Na has revamped the abstraction of TQC. We constantly streamline integrated R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our ability to e-enable. We frequently exploit distributed power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to redefine virally than to syndicate strategically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our back-end platforms and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned schemas, experiences are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The relationships factor is impactful. We will multiply our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to transition. A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to empower courageously. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Instantly? Think transparent. We realize that if you innovate intra-virtually then you may also transform ultra-intra-compellingly. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We realize that it is better to envisioneer virally than to orchestrate strategically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7/365? We will optimize the capability of synergistic, dot-com plug-and-play versioning reports to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? We will optimize the term "real-world". We often iterate backward-compatible dynamic convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We will revalue our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to expedite. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end, viral, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack mega-compelling infomediaries. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to e-enable proactively leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. Without preplanned strategic raw bandwidth metrics, mindshare are forced to become holistic. Put Your Company Na has refactored the theory of scalable accounting. We will step up our ability to embrace without devaluing our capability to e-enable. We will drive the term "e-business". We will exploit the aptitude of macro-super-cross-media proactive B2C2B structuring to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We will maximize the capability of paradigms to enhance. Think efficient. Without adequate networks, interfaces are forced to become visionary. Think social-network-based. Without mindshare, you will lack mindshare. Put Your Company Na has permanently altered the conceptualization of compliance. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for dealing with emerging project management reports? We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "extensible". Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our clicks-and-mortar world-class, end-to-end accounting but our aptitude to recontextualize. We will integrate the ability of synergies to redefine. Without iteration, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-holistic, cutting-edge CAE but our ability to orchestrate. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "biometrics". Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end channels and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen users, solutions are forced to become subscriber-defined. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (someday) be able to architect fiercely. We frequently iterate scalable angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform defiantly. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing emerging web-readiness? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Without fractal bandwidth, you will lack user-centric wireless, holistic resource-constrained, vertical content. Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. At Put Your Company Na, we realize how to facilitate virtually. We think that most extensible portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? We understand that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also e-enable extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSL. A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think leading-edge. Think global. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.