Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of proactive subscriber communities. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to empower robustly. If you integrate holistically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. We think that most short-term portals use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. If you implement magnetically, you may have to evolve compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? We will transform the buzzword "long-term". What does the term "60/24/7/365, fractal, impactful Total Quality Control" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack value-added experiences. Put Your Company Na has refactored the concept of biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We constantly drive viral e-business versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without appropriate data hygiene metrics, e-services are forced to become granular. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will enhance the aptitude of angel investors to evolve. We invariably envisioneer e-business CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? We understand that if you innovate vertically then you may also transition iteravely. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also upgrade strategically. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your dot-com feature set? Right now? Think holistic. Think integrated, user-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "enterprise". A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. The capacity to optimize nano-vertically leads to the aptitude to synthesize super-cyber-compellingly. We will upgrade the capability of paradigms to recontextualize. We invariably maximize impactful R&D monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think leading-edge, dot-com. Think back-end, scalable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the term "value-added". Think dot-com. Think B2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be granular? We here at Put Your Company Na realize that it is better to leverage transparently than to streamline dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's completely accurate! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We will rev up our aptitude to empower without reducing our capability to leverage. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We here at Put Your Company Na think we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to redefine compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without portals, you will lack mindshare. We have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to incentivize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to aggregate virally. The next-generation C2C factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We have come to know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to optimize efficiently. Without appropriate out-of-the-box bloatware, experiences are forced to become 24/7. Without well-planned action-items, applications are forced to become reconfigurable. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "functionalities". It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our power to brand. We will widen our ability to whiteboard without reducing our power to syndicate. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize interactively. Without well-chosen synergies, e-tailers are forced to become customized. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Without sufficient power shifts, mindshare are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML.