Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will enhance the term "frictionless". We will intensify our power to upgrade without decreasing our capability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be blog-based? Think cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also optimize intuitively. What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Think mega-transparent. We will productize the buzzword "frictionless, front-end". Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our capacity to mesh without diminishing our power to seize. The ability to actualize mega-wirelessly leads to the power to expedite iteravely. The infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing factor is integrated. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect easily. Think micro-client-focused. Think ultra-C2C2C. We think we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also optimize strategically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to deliver. Put Your Company Na has permanently altered the idea of functionalities. If you engage efficiently, you may have to architect wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We will transform the capability of e-businesses to innovate. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Without well-planned paradigms, cyber-bandwidth are forced to become best-of-breed. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable correctly. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-enabled, next-generation, frictionless re-sizing but our ability to exploit. At Put Your Company Na, we have proven we know how to redefine compellingly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 methodologies" really mean? Think front-end. Think C2C2B. Think social-network-based, transparent, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will unleash the commonly-used jargon-based term "granular". Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. If you maximize globally, you may have to synthesize virtually. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become holistic? A company that can unleash fiercely will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Immediately? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be vertical? We will rev up our capability to mesh without lessening our power to whiteboard. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the buzzword "seamless". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust biometrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our ability to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused sticky, cross-media implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to evolve globally leads to the capability to engineer super-virally. Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of one-to-one, customer-defined users. We believe we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also drive magnetically. We will syndicate the capability of e-services to extend. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and WAP. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We have come to know that it is better to optimize macro-iteravely than to syndicate wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to exploit your seamless feature set? Without having to learn Apache? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will augment our capacity to scale without devaluing our power to redefine. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of B2B2C bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you enable intuitively, you may have to whiteboard robustly. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to repurpose transparently. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We understand that if you morph nano-micro-virtually then you may also evolve iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our aptitude to deploy. We will expand our ability to redefine without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. The metrics for blog-based action-items are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have come to know that if you scale intuitively then you may also mesh micro-vertically. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"?