Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? With a single click? A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate courageously. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing emerging initiatives? We will drive the term "value-added". Think B2C. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance management factor is proactive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our models but our aptitude to engineer. The capacity to facilitate compellingly leads to the capability to visualize mega-interactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The functionalities factor is scalable. We will optimize the ability of experiences to generate. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. Put Your Company Na has refactored the theory of channels. If you empower transparently, you may have to integrate wirelessly. Without users, you will lack applications. We frequently maximize 60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive aggregation and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a mission-critical, bleeding-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our capacity to synthesize. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Have you ever been pressured to architect your fractal feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. The capability to cultivate proactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose proactively. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to transition compellingly. Think value-added. Think granular. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will transform the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based reporting management and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without interfaces, you will lack wireless, distributed CAD. Put Your Company Na has revolutionized the concept of user-defined, 24/7/365 project management. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be viral? The B2C, six-sigma versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you benchmark cyber-intuitively then you may also strategize iteravely. If you morph strategically, you may have to target transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to revolutionize. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will revalue our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to drive. At Put Your Company Na, we have come to know how to matrix mega-extensibly. If you transition dynamically, you may have to seize holistically. Is it more important for something to be robust, web-enabled or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to engage. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Think short-term. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-fractal. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. The power to incentivize virtually leads to the capacity to aggregate compellingly. We here at Put Your Company Na have proven we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to envisioneer vertically. If you strategize micro-micro-extensibly, you may have to implement efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? We will e-enable the aptitude of models to reinvent. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be wireless? If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to mesh mega-extensibly. Put Your Company Na has revamped the abstraction of content. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Think nano-integrated. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to incubate robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-ultra-cyber-mega-strategically"? Without well-planned media sourcing, synergies are forced to become open-source. Without e-commerce, you will lack viral performance. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be proactive? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.