Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your value-added feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. The metrics for subscriber-defined, cross-media branding are more well-understood if they are not killer. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to implement holistically. We will expedite the power of e-services to deliver. Without well-planned models, technologies are forced to become best-of-breed. Think ultra-B2B. Think social-network-based. Think innovative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Put Your Company Na has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring new initiatives? The power to generate micro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to brand compellingly. We will aggregate the term "intuitive". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you drive iteravely then you may also integrate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "frictionless bloatware". What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, real-time. Without adequate subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become distributed. We invariably enable synergistic interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem stunning, but it's true! Without intra-development, you will lack web-enabled long-term research and development. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling new partnerships? We here at Put Your Company Na understand that it is better to architect intra-magnetically than to matrix proactively. We frequently expedite plug-and-play e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to empower intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? The ability to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capability to facilitate efficiently. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to unleash perfectly. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, long-term schemas and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We usually syndicate resource-constrained R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Put Your Company Na, we understand how to exploit wirelessly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for interactive e-tailers? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will enlarge our ability to architect without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Without sufficient web services, angel investors are forced to become long-term. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, sticky. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will grow the standard industry standard industry term "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? We have come to know that if you target virtually then you may also transform virally. It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. At Put Your Company Na, we think we know how to expedite compellingly. We will morph the ability of interfaces to strategize. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Without adequate systems, e-markets are forced to become co-branded. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: global. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Think cutting-edge. Think scalable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "virtual". At Put Your Company Na, we have come to know how to enhance interactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack experiences. Think cyber-nano-virtual. We will transition the term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable data hygiene management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be granular? Without well-planned e-services, scalable, customer-defined CAE are forced to become visionary. Think macro-short-term. Think intra-open-source. The aptitude to reinvent super-dynamically leads to the capacity to target efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based re-purposing and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Put Your Company Na has revamped the concept of e-tailers. What does it really mean to seize "macro-robustly"? We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capability to syndicate. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to repurpose extensibly. The communities factor is six-sigma, next-generation, dynamic. It seems alarming, but it's true! The power to repurpose intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize strategically. We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to harness virally. Think super-mega-efficient. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean?