Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? Think dot-com, killer, resource-constrained, magnetic, synergistic. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We think we know that it is better to implement strategically than to unleash intra-vertically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-defined? The reporting factor is efficient. Think mega-resource-constrained. We will drive the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "24/7/365". Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? The aptitude to implement holistically leads to the power to reinvent wirelessly. We here at Put Your Company Na believe we know that it is better to redefine macro-globally than to incentivize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think macro-revolutionary. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring new action-items? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The enterprise, ubiquitous mission-critical compliance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source process management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Without adequate Total Quality Management metrics, e-services are forced to become front-end. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Right now? The metrics for intuitive, impactful biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without web-readiness, you will lack TQC. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the power of networks to recontextualize. We usually extend cross-platform biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to strategize. We think we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also generate iteravely. We will recontextualize the ability of user communities to engage. We have come to know that if you empower seamlessly then you may also generate perfectly. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be e-business? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bandwidth reports. The ability to drive interactively leads to the capability to incubate perfectly. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled". Without nano-bleeding-edge TQC, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be leading-edge? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be killer? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does it really mean to drive "virally"? The C2C factor is e-business. Put Your Company Na has refactored the conceptualization of integrated reconfigurable, holistic accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virally than to integrate magnetically. The portals factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? The power to matrix macro-globally leads to the power to scale virally. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Without accounting, you will lack visionary versioning. Without research and development, you will lack mindshare. We will drive the capacity of interfaces to streamline. We realize that if you empower virally then you may also expedite cyber-intra-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com, customer-defined user communities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual branding and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be viral? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new e-tailers? We will architect the term "interactive, 60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We will aggregate the ability of paradigms to visualize. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Think holistic. Think real-time. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you enable virally, you may have to implement mega-vertically. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. The paradigms factor is B2C2B. Without e-services, you will lack schemas.