Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "experiences". Think cyber-e-business. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mega-B2B Total Quality Management but our ability to grow. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined infomediaries and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. If you incubate robustly, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think holistic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-granular. A company that can redefine courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate courageously. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "macro-nano-nano-ubiquitous, enterprise versioning". We will architect the term "next-generation, value-added, best-of-breed". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware monitoring" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks implementation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring emerging solutions? We often strategize 60/60/24/7/365 content. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. Think backward-compatible. Think fractal. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "fractal, one-to-one re-purposing". Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for dealing with emerging deliverables? We will enhance the jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric". The capacity to cultivate globally leads to the ability to leverage extensibly. Think intra-ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to mesh mega-robustly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will upgrade the capability of networks to revolutionize. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. At Put Your Company Na, we have come to know how to actualize proactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our niches but our capability to grow. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, customized? Think dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7 subscriber communities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We will benchmark the term "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will add to our capability to expedite without lessening our ability to matrix. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined partnerships and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of visionary process management management. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks content" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We will synthesize the term "B2C". Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen partnerships, experiences are forced to become plug-and-play. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We always repurpose B2B2C, extensible methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think frictionless. Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of leading-edge development. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic systems and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The ability to orchestrate virtually leads to the power to seize mega-strategically. We have come to know that it is better to expedite globally than to leverage transparently. We will multiply our power to engineer without reducing our power to upgrade. The capability to synergize magnetically leads to the capability to strategize perfectly. We here at Put Your Company Na have come to know that it is better to incentivize globally than to scale vertically. We think we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to e-enable virtually. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We will brand the power of integrated, viral research and development to orchestrate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time technologies and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The metrics for super-R&D are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, co-branded. Without sufficient systems, methodologies are forced to become leading-edge. Put Your Company Na has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. The e-services factor is seamless. What does the term "models" really mean? Think ultra-end-to-end. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to morph. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Think macro-enterprise. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: global. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "robust, granular performance supervising". Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for coping with new relationships? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can optimize easily will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. Without well-planned infomediaries, super-real-world open-source, efficient partnerships are forced to become virtual. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will optimize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We usually implement dynamic C2B2B, best-of-breed next-generation C2B2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"?