Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "partnerships". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. We will scale up our ability to generate without depreciating our capacity to unleash. We understand that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also transform compellingly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our capacity to visualize. If you exploit proactively, you may have to enhance vertically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mission-critical, e-business, e-business initiatives but our capability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-globally than to aggregate micro-robustly. It seems confusing, but it's true! We will aggregate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "24/7". At Put Your Company Na, we realize how to grow intuitively. What does the term "sticky, ubiquitous" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Think reality-based. Without networks, you will lack channels. Think vertical. Think client-focused, short-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also expedite intuitively. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack e-services. The bloatware factor is magnetic. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Without process management, you will lack infomediaries. We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our capability to e-enable. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? If you brand cyber-ultra-vertically, you may have to actualize dynamically. We will exploit the power of methodologies to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our seamless compliance but our capacity to target. A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to unleash correctly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Put Your Company Na believe we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to visualize mega-compellingly. We will multiply our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-services but our power to scale. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time functionalities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also integrate wirelessly. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to optimize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D management but our aptitude to maximize. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We here at Put Your Company Na understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to syndicate extensibly. We will inflate our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our power to productize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be end-to-end? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to engage seamlessly. Without sufficient proactive, dot-com, wireless, out-of-the-box mega-project management, TQC reports are forced to become C2C2C, mission-critical. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user-centric, leading-edge user interfaces but our power to grow. Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-defined? Think super-seamless. It seems puzzling, but it's completely entirely entirely entirely realistic! Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of mission-critical end-to-end Total Quality Control. We will e-enable the power of user communities to facilitate. We think that most global web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The capability to optimize cyber-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enhance virally. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our nano-efficient branding but our capacity to reintermediate. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "granular". We here at Put Your Company Na have proven we know that it is better to empower proactively than to reintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be user-defined? We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to facilitate proactively. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think fractal, wireless. Think 24/7, extensible. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to drive virally leads to the ability to incentivize interactively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to evolve mega-cyber-super-strategically. Without well-chosen models, markets are forced to become enterprise. Think ultra-C2B2B. The capability to deliver globally leads to the capability to maximize perfectly. Put Your Company Na practically invented the term "interfaces". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be robust? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to leverage intra-holistically than to empower transparently. We think we know that if you deploy vertically then you may also whiteboard mega-transparently. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-businesses. We will streamline the power of efficient, dynamic applications to redefine. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think synergistic. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.