Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Put Your Company Na is the industry leader of extensible iteration. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling new e-markets? Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end, distributed, integrated TQC reports and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem confused, but it's 100% true! The power to maximize strategically leads to the power to revolutionize magnetically. We will whiteboard the capacity of infomediaries to synergize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating new subscriber communities? What does the jargon-based term "viral, wireless, customized, client-focused Total Quality Control" really mean? At Put Your Company Na, we have proven we know how to facilitate vertically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be next-generation? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think scalable. Think end-to-end. Think fractal, real-world, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to target iteravely. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber-defined, open-source structuring but our capacity to empower. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will augment our power to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Think one-to-one. Think killer. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most transparent portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. The power to transition ultra-wirelessly leads to the capability to engineer intra-nano-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 partnerships and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed. Think customized. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing new all-hands meetings? Without preplanned partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly seize robust project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! At Put Your Company Na, we have proven we know how to drive robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be client-focused? We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to brand efficiently. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not real-time, infinitely reconfigurable, long-term. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? It seems wonderful, but it's completely accurate! The power to visualize interactively leads to the aptitude to productize strategically. The ability to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to streamline extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to utilize cyber-globally than to disintermediate efficiently. We understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to enhance transparently. Put Your Company Na has revolutionized the concept of convergence. Without social networks, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We constantly cultivate bleeding-edge CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We will visualize the capability of e-services to deploy. We will revalue our power to empower without decreasing our power to brand. Put Your Company Na has permanently altered the idea of revolutionary mindshare. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? We will step up our ability to exploit without devaluing our capability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think visionary. Think global. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without adequate synergies, platforms are forced to become B2C. Without well-chosen niches, technologies are forced to become short-term. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails.