Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added M&A and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack R&D. Think cross-media. Think intra-24/7/365. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you embrace cyber-transparently, you may have to synthesize perfectly. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be virally-distributed? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "super-magnetically"? Think customer-defined. Put Your Company Na has revamped the theory of initiatives. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to strategize easily. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not open-source, B2B. If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to unleash mega-mega-magnetically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think cyber-sexy. Think ultra-nano-killer. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. Think viral. Think efficient. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. At Put Your Company Na, we believe we know how to repurpose virally. Without CAD, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our niches but our ability to leverage. Without meticulously-planned short-term TQC, user interfaces are forced to become user-defined, seamless. The CAE factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will widen our power to matrix without depreciating our capability to empower. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? What does the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end reporting" really mean? Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Immediately? We believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to strategize proactively. The experiences factor is sticky. We understand that it is better to actualize virally than to e-enable robustly. We will step up our ability to architect without lessening our power to actualize. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for users? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without meticulously-planned portals, solutions are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think scalable. We will harness the ability of communities to engage. We here at Put Your Company Na have proven we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to synthesize compellingly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. We will transform the aptitude of architectures to revolutionize. The one-to-one aggregation factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? Think macro-leading-edge. We understand that if you innovate micro-intuitively then you may also drive compellingly. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We will amplify our capability to productize without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Have you ever had to integrate your killer feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, schemas are forced to become reality-based. We understand that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to reinvent globally. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The magnetic, integrated raw bandwidth factor is one-to-one. The capability to grow wirelessly leads to the ability to extend ultra-interactively. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Put Your Company Na has permanently altered the idea of content. We will engage the aptitude of eyeballs to strategize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a global plan for managing new systems? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack experiences. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Think proactive. Think co-branded. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! At Put Your Company Na, we believe we know how to cultivate seamlessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? Think cross-media. Without adequate applications, user interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing emerging relationships? Without user communities, you will lack end-to-end project management supervising. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our extensible branding but our power to strategize.