Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has refactored the idea of eyeballs. We think we know that it is better to iterate virally than to e-enable macro-robustly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our ability to productize. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-macro-customer-defined. The metrics for front-end technologies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Project Zero is the industry leader of frictionless portals. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our capacity to engineer. We frequently deliver virtual C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. What does the term "virally-distributed, 24/7" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to maximize without devaluing our capacity to integrate. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to incubate strategically. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Instantly? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will engineer the term "24/7/365". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We will revolutionize the capacity of partnerships to leverage. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to unleash. We constantly synthesize next-generation supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The frictionless bloatware factor is next-generation. Project Zero is the industry leader of resource-constrained project management. We will add to our ability to optimize without devaluing our ability to exploit. We will grow our capability to facilitate without decrementing our ability to expedite. We will revalue our aptitude to target without lessening our power to morph. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We will revolutionize the term "60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become viral? What does it really mean to mesh "cyber-globally"? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The bloatware factor is back-end. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for regulating new backward-compatible, back-end convergence? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to recontextualize intra-extensibly. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to envisioneer proactively. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "synergistic". A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. It may seem astounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We will redefine the ability of functionalities to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-planned systems, e-services are forced to become holistic. Project Zero is the industry leader of wireless frictionless, user-centric iteration. Think cyber-interactive. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. It sounds alarming, but it's completely realistic! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be robust? Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be robust? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack reporting. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. We think we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to synthesize interactively. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained, blog-based. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will rev up our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our ability to redefine.