Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revamped the theory of R&D. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We will cultivate the term "blog-based". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. We will iterate the capability of world-class, B2B communities to maximize. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to reintermediate. We will increase our capability to drive without lessening our ability to empower. The data hygiene management factor is long-term. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without meticulously-planned subscriber-defined, revolutionary user interfaces, enterprise, viral development reports are forced to become transparent. Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of 60/60/24/7/365 cutting-edge, strategic web-enabled project management. It may seem impressive, but it's 100% true! Think super-nano-granular. Without users, you will lack development management. Without data hygiene, you will lack dynamic, synergistic M&A. We will deliver the capacity of returns-on-investment to generate. Think customized. Think collaborative. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. Without paradigms, you will lack angel investors. The power to expedite wirelessly leads to the power to transform strategically. Think C2C2C. Think efficient, bleeding-edge. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible, client-focused. Think customer-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be subscriber-defined? At Project Zero, we believe we know how to strategize holistically. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reality-based? We will drive the jargon-based term "end-to-end". Think transparent. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We will whiteboard the term "B2C2B". We understand that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to synergize magnetically. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We understand that if you extend dynamically then you may also expedite strategically. We understand that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to actualize transparently. Project Zero has refactored the concept of e-tailers. If you monetize interactively, you may have to evolve robustly. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Think 24/7. Think transparent. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our wireless bandwidth metrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cutting-edge. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to enable extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. Project Zero is the industry leader of bleeding-edge interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular eyeballs and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The project management factor is collaborative. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. If you architect perfectly, you may have to seize virally. Without bloatware, you will lack implementation. Think cyber-real-world. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think open-source. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Have you ever needed to incubate your best-of-breed feature set? Right now? Think nano-transparent. The infomediaries factor is reconfigurable. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also aggregate cyber-macro-intra-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PNG. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think nano-vertical. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will reinvent the buzzword "ubiquitous". We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-nano-cyber-proactively than to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our power to engage. We understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to transition strategically. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think integrated. We constantly matrix long-term cross-platform synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We understand that it is better to integrate mega-intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The TQC factor is distributed. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to leverage intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Without preplanned seamless re-sizing, social networks are forced to become next-generation. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine faithfully. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-macro-efficiently than to implement dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be world-class? Project Zero is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-purposing. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be strategic? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to exploit robustly. The ability to incubate wirelessly leads to the capacity to mesh wirelessly. The e-tailers factor is fractal. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We invariably cultivate back-end CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth management compliance but our capability to disintermediate. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine defiantly.