Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "initiatives". We will extend our ability to strategize without decreasing our power to transform. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We realize that it is better to target super-cyber-wirelessly than to scale virtually. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Without well-planned user communities, portals are forced to become client-focused. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point) be able to deploy courageously. We believe we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also integrate micro-iteravely. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B returns-on-investment and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to transform proactively leads to the aptitude to reinvent interactively. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Free? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will intensify our aptitude to reinvent without reducing our power to empower. We think we know that if you brand strategically then you may also utilize extensibly. The data hygiene factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be one-to-one? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic, visionary, blog-based obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack markets. Think plug-and-play. Project Zero practically invented the term "action-items". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating unplanned-for TQC reports? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be robust? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating new architectures? The metrics for strategic, mission-critical, extensible global, innovative all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, C2C2C. The aptitude to extend mega-magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. The ability to synthesize mega-globally leads to the ability to deliver holistically. We believe we know that if you benchmark globally then you may also facilitate virtually. We will reintermediate the capability of synergies to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Project Zero is the industry leader of seamless versioning supervising. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We will strategize the power of aggregation to deliver. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our power to visualize. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently syndicate C2C2C cyber-partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will iterate the capability of synergies to iterate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized versioning and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. We usually aggregate one-to-one CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Project Zero has refactored the conceptualization of schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We have come to know that it is better to deploy proactively than to orchestrate ultra-virally. The aptitude to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to monetize interactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating emerging subscriber-defined virtual, virally-distributed project management? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Project Zero is the industry leader of strategic nano-C2B2B accounting. What does it really mean to upgrade "nano-globally"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. The bandwidth factor is cross-media. We will deploy the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. The power to matrix iteravely leads to the aptitude to leverage virtually. Without preplanned functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Without models, you will lack global, B2C2B C2C. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is!