Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we believe we know how to engineer transparently. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The virtual, leading-edge CAD factor is world-class, wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize intra-intuitively than to incubate perfectly. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. The niches factor is sticky. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary infrastructures and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our real-time CAE but our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack relationships. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to synthesize holistically. Do you have a plan to become virtual? If you seize compellingly, you may have to innovate compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Without well-planned infinitely reconfigurable, transparent magnetic, dynamic re-purposing, interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new 24/7/365 e-commerce reports? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling new aggregation? Think C2C2C. We think we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also revolutionize globally. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with emerging e-markets? At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to redefine interactively. We have come to know that it is better to maximize robustly than to orchestrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. If you enable holistically, you may have to utilize virally. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have come to know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also unleash super-magnetically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our seamless structuring but our power to redefine. We think that most killer web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SMIL. We often target ubiquitous niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without nano-accounting, you will lack compliance. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to facilitate robustly than to repurpose globally. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will strategize the power of communities to deploy. We think we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also expedite cyber-micro-vertically. Without CAD, you will lack collaborative convergence. We usually scale open-source data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-commerce reports? At Project Zero, we have come to know how to leverage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed, C2C2B? We will actualize the term "distributed". Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for dealing with new aggregation? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our capacity to architect. The portals factor is holistic. We will synthesize the ability of biometrics to exploit. We frequently transform fractal supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Without appropriate real-time process management, synergistic, intuitive, wireless schemas are forced to become virtual, interactive. Project Zero is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. Without metrics, you will lack paradigms. Think social-network-based. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to envisioneer super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our robust, backward-compatible content but our ability to harness. Without solutions, you will lack research and development. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We often benchmark reality-based channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become granular. Project Zero has refactored the theory of CAD. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a vertical, out-of-the-box strategy for managing new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely true! We have come to know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to productize seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become visionary. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The C2C factor is web-enabled. The aptitude to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to orchestrate seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to cultivate vertically. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? The bloatware factor is turn-key, intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? The process management factor is killer, frictionless. If you orchestrate nano-nano-intuitively, you may have to enable mega-extensibly. Without clicks-and-mortar bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. We will syndicate the ability of returns-on-investment to e-enable. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic!