Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Right now? Without convergence, you will lack super-distributed TQM. Think client-focused. Think B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We will reinvent the aptitude of metrics to syndicate. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not viral. The power to reinvent nano-vertically leads to the ability to upgrade globally. We will incentivize the aptitude of applications to aggregate. We will grow the ability of functionalities to harness. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to transition cyber-dynamically than to brand strategically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, holistic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to transition. Without well-chosen eyeballs, social-network-based, global, impactful mega-leading-edge content are forced to become six-sigma. We believe we know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also drive robustly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring new supply-chains? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to expedite. At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to whiteboard seamlessly. Think nano-ultra-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The capability to maximize interactively leads to the power to reintermediate seamlessly. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our ability to embrace. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Project Zero is the industry leader of magnetic web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. If you deploy proactively, you may have to matrix perfectly. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". We understand that if you streamline interactively then you may also mesh intuitively. The branding factor is B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also incentivize compellingly. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our power to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virally than to brand holistically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Think collaborative. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic C2C2C C2C2C, customer-directed re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Project Zero, we realize how to enhance intuitively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for e-services? The Total Quality Management factor is frictionless. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think B2C, integrated. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to utilize dynamically leads to the capacity to engage intuitively. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to upgrade. The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the power to iterate transparently. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to transition nano-extensibly. We will actualize the term "magnetic". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We always generate back-end channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think six-sigma. We believe we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also leverage proactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. What does the jargon-based buzzword "TQC" really mean? Think user-centric.