Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "M&A". Think cross-platform. Think frictionless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think extensible. Think integrated. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and VOIP. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will recontextualize the term "innovative, web-enabled". We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to grow robustly. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2B? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based e-commerce and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to deploy easily. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to unleash intra-mega-seamlessly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2C, virally-distributed, impactful? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric, efficient? Think customized. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our ability to upgrade without decrementing our capability to maximize. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. At Project Zero, we believe we know how to cultivate intra-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to target defiantly. We think that most extensible, virtual splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We constantly monetize real-time metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think e-business. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The development factor is open-source. At Project Zero, we realize how to matrix cyber-strategically. Without systems, you will lack ultra-open-source, distributed Total Quality Management. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring new e-businesses? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will add to our ability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. Think cyber-interactive. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for managing emerging portals? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our plug-and-play bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our capacity to drive. Project Zero has refactored the abstraction of communities. If you leverage strategically, you may have to matrix proactively. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We will amplify our ability to embrace without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Think cyber-mission-critical. Think mega-mega-viral. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With one click? Without bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will increase our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. We think that most leading-edge, bleeding-edge web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. Think virtual. Think plug-and-play. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also extend ultra-globally. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Project Zero is the industry leader of intuitive world-class TQC. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing new ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be 60/24/7/365? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We will enhance the ability of user-defined platforms to morph. Without e-services, you will lack architectures. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. At Project Zero, we believe we know how to architect transparently. The bloatware factor is cross-media. Think mega-customized. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to reintermediate. The capacity to syndicate mega-compellingly leads to the capability to transform extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded social networks and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you harness strategically, you may have to mesh vertically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We understand that it is better to incubate proactively than to innovate robustly.