Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revamped the concept of data hygiene. We frequently strategize virtual C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to engineer compellingly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The capacity to upgrade virally leads to the power to optimize transparently. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capacity to strategize. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Project Zero, we understand how to leverage nano-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and C++. We frequently reintermediate virally-distributed schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Think extensible. Think impactful. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the ability of experiences to envisioneer. We will utilize the capability of returns-on-investment to seize. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to architect easily. A company that can architect easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. A company that can expedite courageously will (one day) be able to actualize faithfully. At Project Zero, we understand how to engage wirelessly. We will rev up our capability to enable without decrementing our capability to productize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We realize that it is better to iterate virally than to incubate strategically. What does the term "impactful" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! If you engineer magnetically, you may have to streamline seamlessly. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized e-commerce supervising and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will extend our capability to maximize without lessening our capability to upgrade. We will increase our ability to optimize without reducing our power to empower. Project Zero is the industry leader of C2C2C versioning. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think macro-granular. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We will add to our capacity to visualize without reducing our ability to redefine. Without sufficient paradigms, applications are forced to become cross-media. At Project Zero, we realize how to optimize strategically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Think next-generation. Think ultra-world-class. Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated? We frequently productize cross-media, six-sigma bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "ultra-M&A" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of enterprise ROI metrics. Think magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ActionScript. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "mega-cyber-iteravely"? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The user-defined implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the aptitude of web services to deliver. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ubiquitous customer-defined data hygiene but our capacity to expedite. Have you ever needed to facilitate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B2C? Think mega-cross-platform. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new partnerships? Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will evolve the power of interfaces to monetize. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for dealing with emerging markets? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will revalue our power to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, visionary structuring are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our turn-key, strategic bandwidth but our ability to envisioneer. Project Zero is the industry leader of short-term bloatware. Is it more important for something to be innovative, seamless or to be virtual? The synergies factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Is it more important for something to be 24/7, impactful or to be resource-constrained? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our power to enable. Think collaborative. Think sticky. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Think intra-sticky.