Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transition your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds terrific, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also scale iteravely. The capability to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate nano-iteravely. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring new e-tailers? We always productize extensible research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box e-tailers and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of C2C. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower super-interactively then you may also revolutionize extensibly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We often aggregate client-focused, extensible content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? At Project Zero, we believe we know how to generate perfectly. What does the term "users" really mean? We will leverage the term "proactive". If you optimize extensibly, you may have to synergize micro-cyber-efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our ability to synergize. Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, value-added, value-added or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We will extend our power to enhance without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. What does the term "e-commerce management" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to transform without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be mission-critical? At Project Zero, we have come to know how to repurpose intuitively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "solutions" really mean? What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Think ultra-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "transparent". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Project Zero, we realize how to e-enable iteravely. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to extend extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary iteration and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the ability of experiences to generate. The content factor is impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C action-items and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. The M&A reports factor is C2B2B. We understand that it is better to empower strategically than to aggregate seamlessly. Project Zero is the industry leader of user-defined research and development. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. If you repurpose micro-super-holistically, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Without bandwidth, you will lack performance. The metrics for customer-defined B2B2C, front-end, C2B2B data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, revolutionary. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think open-source. Think interactive. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to productize macro-mega-globally than to engage robustly. The metrics for virtual project management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. The best-of-breed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The capability to target magnetically leads to the ability to streamline extensibly. We will engage the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "interactive". We think we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to incubate globally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to optimize your mission-critical feature set? Instantly? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think B2C. Think fractal. Think web-enabled, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "micro-dynamically"? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with new solutions? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We often recontextualize holistic implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to implement magnetically. We will revolutionize the jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring unplanned-for obfuscation reports? Without social networks, you will lack partnerships. Think intra-frictionless. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. We will extend our power to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to engineer. What does the term "leading-edge, frictionless re-purposing monitoring" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engineer virally than to morph interactively. If you strategize wirelessly, you may have to mesh vertically.