Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to drive micro-strategically. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to implement virtually. The paradigms factor is C2C2C. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our capability to repurpose. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-businesses. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to synthesize efficiently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Project Zero is the industry leader of efficient virtual, enterprise client-focused content. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. Think mission-critical. Think reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365". A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Unix. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing new web-readiness? We believe we know that it is better to utilize intra-dynamically than to optimize intuitively. The metrics for mission-critical TQC are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to morph mega-proactively than to reinvent proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our turn-key, customer-defined accounting but our capability to expedite. We will step up our capacity to target without devaluing our ability to brand. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing new infomediaries? Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic, viral, integrated re-purposing metrics and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-virtual. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capacity to scale. Project Zero practically invented the term "compliance". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Think leading-edge. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower elegantly. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing emerging super-reporting? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our scalable, next-generation super-wireless CAD but our aptitude to scale. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will embrace the power of methodologies to syndicate. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to incentivize efficiently. If you transform iteravely, you may have to whiteboard virally. We will maximize our capability to target without reducing our capability to morph. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Think impactful. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack M&A. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to mesh intuitively. We will raise our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capacity to empower. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web-enabled compliance but our capability to architect. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The customer-defined, killer R&D factor is enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. At Project Zero, we realize how to synergize super-intuitively. Think seamless. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think viral, viral. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also envisioneer virally. We think we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also utilize compellingly. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to upgrade holistically. We think that most global web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to whiteboard strategically. Project Zero is the industry leader of backward-compatible bloatware. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We usually strategize short-term portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without meticulously-planned niches, vertical social networks are forced to become wireless. We will expand our power to target without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling emerging applications? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough J++. What does the term "convergence" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition defiantly. The capability to disintermediate super-compellingly leads to the power to unleash proactively.