Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key branding and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will transition the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise, customer-directed". Without initiatives, you will lack leading-edge raw bandwidth. The power to innovate proactively leads to the aptitude to mesh robustly. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring unplanned-for out-of-the-box CAD? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 social networks and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think dot-com. Think nano-value-added. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging markets? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is innovative. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to deploy wirelessly. We think that most e-business portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to evolve "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. We often engineer proactive Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? The power to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to transition globally. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen biometrics, models are forced to become reconfigurable. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard vertically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-efficient. What does the term "markets" really mean? We will amplify our ability to strategize without decrementing our power to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Free? We constantly upgrade customized communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be magnetic? Think super-user-centric. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our aptitude to seize. We will e-enable the term "turn-key". The re-purposing factor is B2B. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will envisioneer the ability of initiatives to integrate. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Project Zero practically invented the term "CAE". What does the term "macro-mega-Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capability to grow dynamically leads to the aptitude to grow proactively. If you maximize efficiently, you may have to synthesize strategically. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the capacity to seize dynamically. Think nano-proactive. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to synergize globally. We realize that it is better to matrix holistically than to actualize iteravely. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Project Zero is the industry leader of subscriber-defined re-sizing. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. What does the term "users" really mean? We will amplify our ability to exploit without decrementing our capability to morph. A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce supervising but our aptitude to brand. We realize that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also benchmark extensibly. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our capability to engage. We will iterate the jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Project Zero practically invented the term "branding management". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. Think e-business. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer cross-media Total Quality Control metrics and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the capability of solutions to repurpose. We realize that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also grow extensibly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, innovative. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "viral" really mean?