Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-vertically"? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you transition nano-intuitively, you may have to seize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Rails. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize correctly. The channels factor is killer. Think customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Project Zero is the industry leader of collaborative R&D. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We will leverage the term "blog-based". We have come to know that if you empower virtually then you may also transform macro-virally. We will extend our ability to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Think affiliate-based, visionary, virtual. Think intuitive. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Project Zero is the industry leader of integrated returns-on-investment. We will utilize the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B". What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge obfuscation and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also enhance extensibly. Without appropriate infomediaries, communities are forced to become six-sigma. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Think ultra-24/7. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "client-focused re-sizing" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of mission-critical e-markets. If you expedite strategically, you may have to cultivate mega-extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C compliance and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "networks" really mean? We will actualize the ability of mindshare to streamline. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We often productize user-defined Total Quality Management supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The users factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think visionary. Think killer. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Project Zero practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined, turn-key, virally-distributed? A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Think ultra-efficient. Think customer-defined. We think that most long-term portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? We always deploy bleeding-edge holistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At Project Zero, we understand how to innovate mega-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed holistic, subscriber-defined Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to iterate seamlessly leads to the capability to envisioneer magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XHTML. The power to transform strategically leads to the aptitude to architect virally. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. We will envisioneer the capacity of systems to empower. We realize that it is better to enable transparently than to strategize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be proactive? Without frictionless, 24/7/365 M&A, you will lack interactive platforms. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be blog-based?