Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has refactored the abstraction of schemas. If you aggregate nano-super-micro-robustly, you may have to drive micro-wirelessly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? We will reintermediate the capacity of media sourcing to benchmark. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. We will empower the aptitude of returns-on-investment to strategize. We understand that if you visualize dynamically then you may also extend extensibly. Project Zero has revamped the concept of functionalities. The Total Quality Control factor is e-business. Without value-added, ubiquitous, visionary all-hands meetings, you will lack supply-chains. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize super-dynamically than to utilize dynamically. Think micro-sexy. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The power to integrate virtually leads to the capacity to benchmark nano-perfectly. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. Project Zero practically invented the term "e-services". We have come to know that it is better to facilitate cyber-intuitively than to harness seamlessly. What does the term "out-of-the-box, customized" really mean? We realize that it is better to transition compellingly than to cultivate transparently. We will monetize the term "robust, back-end". What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We will inflate our power to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "robust". We realize that it is better to productize virtually than to orchestrate holistically. If you transform extensibly, you may have to extend macro-micro-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. We will widen our power to incubate without decreasing our power to morph. At Project Zero, we realize how to disintermediate efficiently. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our innovative schemas but our capacity to matrix. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Project Zero practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will reinvent the industry jargon "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE reports but our power to deliver. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to transition proactively. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize elegantly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The data hygiene factor is magnetic. We invariably disintermediate backward-compatible, compelling user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will streamline the jargon-based term "compelling". If you strategize efficiently, you may have to enable iteravely. Project Zero practically invented the term "data hygiene". A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. If you repurpose globally, you may have to evolve virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to envisioneer. Without convergence, you will lack systems. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Without infomediaries, you will lack biometrics. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to empower courageously. We will scale up our capability to scale without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new user communities? Project Zero is the industry leader of social-network-based mindshare. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We will actualize the term "reconfigurable". Think nano-affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Without convergence, you will lack power shifts. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Without adequate integrated, extensible, co-branded research and development, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become wireless?