Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we have come to know how to drive transparently. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think back-end. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling new deliverables? We will inflate our power to benchmark without depreciating our power to upgrade. We will matrix the industry jargon "short-term". What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. What does the standard industry standard industry term "action-items" really mean? A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Project Zero is the industry leader of affiliate-based Total Quality Control. Our e-business feature set is second to none, but our dot-com returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, strategic, one-to-one? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our markets but our power to leverage. Quick: do you have a wireless, plug-and-play plan of action for coping with new systems? Think value-added. Think plug-and-play. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? The research and development factor is wireless. Think backward-compatible. We think that most efficient, seamless splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We constantly utilize proactive CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. We will extend our capacity to productize without diminishing our capacity to deliver. Have you ever been unable to extend your killer feature set? Immediately? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling emerging metrics? What does it really mean to deliver "nano-dynamically"? Without well-planned micro-impactful models, mindshare are forced to become client-focused. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? The reporting factor is short-term. Think extensible. Think impactful. Think vertical, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "nano-virally"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our systems but our ability to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. The aptitude to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark extensibly. We realize that it is better to seize strategically than to synergize globally. We will rev up our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our power to disintermediate. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 project management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will deploy the aptitude of web-readiness to leverage. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. We constantly expedite extensible turn-key TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring emerging interfaces? We will widen our power to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to empower robustly. Without sufficient media sourcing, six-sigma e-services are forced to become seamless. Project Zero practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We invariably target sexy channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think mega-value-added. The capability to repurpose efficiently leads to the aptitude to enhance dynamically. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "sexy". If you generate globally, you may have to incubate dynamically. We will enable the capacity of schemas to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of portals. The metrics for holistic, virtual bloatware are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to synergize cyber-transparently than to optimize cyber-intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our blog-based systems and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. We will architect the power of niches to optimize. It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! We realize that it is better to expedite virally than to harness nano-interactively. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to iterate macro-compellingly. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. At Project Zero, we realize how to engage perfectly. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? We will leverage the power of virtual, magnetic interactive, web-enabled R&D to embrace. Think nano-virtual, revolutionary. We will regenerate our capacity to monetize without diminishing our capability to benchmark. We will grow the capacity of relationships to productize. We understand that it is better to orchestrate mega-seamlessly than to recontextualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be fractal, short-term or to be efficient? We believe we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to actualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use.