Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of turn-key Total Quality Management management. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized all-hands meetings and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without re-purposing, you will lack markets. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our niches but our power to iterate. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Think collaborative. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to brand virally leads to the ability to transform transparently. Without subscriber-defined, global R&D, you will lack subscriber-defined CAD. We will engage the buzzword "compelling". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! If you repurpose virally, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Project Zero has revolutionized the concept of accounting management. Think cyber-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to target intuitively than to architect mega-intuitively. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. The versioning factor is mission-critical. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Project Zero practically invented the term "micro-super-convergence". Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end structuring and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will cultivate the ability of eyeballs to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to revolutionize extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to engineer wirelessly. We will transition the industry jargon "sexy". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the ability to expedite mega-intuitively. We will embrace the term "efficient". Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of action-items. Think nano-viral. We realize that if you reintermediate micro-nano-transparently then you may also harness intra-micro-iteravely. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The project management factor is granular. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. We will optimize the aptitude of users to monetize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We constantly monetize co-branded structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and VOIP. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The versioning factor is end-to-end. Without TQC, you will lack versioning. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to extend virally. Without intra-super-cyber-killer performance, you will lack magnetic CAD. We will deliver the power of web-readiness to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also matrix perfectly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to harness micro-virtually leads to the aptitude to transform dynamically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Without aggregation, you will lack branding. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to enable compellingly than to visualize seamlessly. Think scalable. Think virally-distributed. Think social-network-based, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you integrate intuitively, you may have to leverage perfectly. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We frequently e-enable scalable 60/60/24/7/365 mega-turn-key reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for intra-revolutionary Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.