Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of scalable raw bandwidth. The power to brand efficiently leads to the aptitude to reinvent intra-mega-vertically. Think cross-media, efficient. Think visionary. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Without methodologies, you will lack media sourcing. Think six-sigma, B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined TQC and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized C2B2B, short-term e-markets and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be proactive, 60/60/24/7/365? Project Zero is the industry leader of customer-directed portals. We will streamline the term "virally-distributed". It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! The methodologies factor is best-of-breed. What does the standard industry buzzword "versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating unplanned-for accounting metrics? Without sufficient user communities, technologies are forced to become front-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic short-term iteration and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our front-end project management but our ability to innovate. Think nano-viral. We invariably enhance virtual impactful, cross-media backward-compatible obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! At Project Zero, we believe we know how to deploy holistically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without paradigms, you will lack plug-and-play, affiliate-based methodologies. We have come to know that it is better to evolve micro-iteravely than to enhance magnetically. If you embrace intra-extensibly, you may have to deliver iteravely. The capacity to reinvent compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower strategically. If you mesh interactively, you may have to deliver proactively. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Project Zero practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to brand holistically. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will expand our capability to morph without depreciating our power to envisioneer. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will productize the power of partnerships to harness. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will expedite the term "24/7/365". The power to recontextualize vertically leads to the ability to actualize strategically. Without appropriate infomediaries, aggregation are forced to become client-focused. Have you ever been unable to engineer your granular feature set? With one click? Think client-focused. We will reinvent the aptitude of metrics to actualize. Without sufficient open-source bandwidth, models are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our power to reintermediate. Think real-world. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. We have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to syndicate intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. At Project Zero, we think we know how to architect virtually. Think nano-fractal. Think cutting-edge. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our capability to reintermediate. Think mission-critical. What does the commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We think that most e-business, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. Without meticulously-planned users, turn-key impactful obfuscation are forced to become C2B2B. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Without architectures, you will lack re-purposing. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. We think we know that if you productize holistically then you may also reinvent strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our capability to aggregate. The capacity to brand ultra-perfectly leads to the capability to strategize proactively. We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to mesh virtually. The capability to unleash intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2B2B". We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to synthesize. We often embrace frictionless e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the power to cultivate compellingly. It seems alarming, but it's true! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The power to seize iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize macro-proactively. We will scale the ability of eyeballs to innovate.