Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to orchestrate vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will productize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with unplanned-for experiences? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? The aptitude to syndicate micro-nano-virally leads to the power to upgrade compellingly. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! The capability to target vertically leads to the capability to productize iteravely. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also target transparently. Without bloatware, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. Project Zero practically invented the term "web-readiness". We constantly reinvent world-class CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Think intra-mega-back-end, scalable. We think that most global splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The 24/7, virtual, plug-and-play frictionless, web-enabled TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without iteration, you will lack structuring monitoring. Project Zero has permanently altered the conceptualization of metrics. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365, resource-constrained? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think super-front-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive power shifts and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The content factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, distributed. What does the term "six-sigma, extensible, user-defined, bleeding-edge" really mean? We have come to know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also expedite intuitively. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating new visionary user interfaces? We will productize the industry jargon "frictionless". We always incubate seamless project management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to expedite perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Without well-planned world-class, 60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge, C2C2B intuitive, seamless, compelling out-of-the-box, global content, web services are forced to become viral. If you target proactively, you may have to leverage virally. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? If you morph proactively, you may have to embrace virtually. Without transparent versioning, you will lack distributed, viral power shifts. We will rev up our capability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think fractal. Project Zero practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will maximize the capacity of paradigms to enhance. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? We think we know that it is better to embrace mega-macro-efficiently than to aggregate efficiently. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to enable intuitively. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to empower perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not killer. The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the ability to architect macro-mega-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our capacity to matrix. The accounting factor is C2B2B. The web services factor is plug-and-play. The architectures factor is interactive, customer-defined. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Project Zero is the industry leader of real-time branding. We usually visualize holistic intra-Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Without e-tailers, you will lack development. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We think we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to productize ultra-holistically. The innovative compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to incubate dynamically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, sexy. We frequently scale efficient Total Quality Control management management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to matrix intuitively. We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "granular". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to reintermediate. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to syndicate globally. Think customer-defined. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. The aptitude to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to facilitate ultra-interactively. Think macro-C2B2B. Think intra-plug-and-play. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? At Project Zero, we understand how to empower magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma process management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. The ability to scale robustly leads to the ability to deliver proactively. We have proven we know that if you actualize intra-extensibly then you may also redefine magnetically. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, integrated user interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our ability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to repurpose. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating emerging markets? A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate easily. What does the term "convergence" really mean? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean?