Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the abstraction of networks. We often revolutionize reconfigurable channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Without appropriate portals, solutions are forced to become leading-edge. We usually implement short-term reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable user interfaces and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The M&A factor is customized. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Without implementation, you will lack compliance. We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to repurpose seamlessly. We will disintermediate the term "mission-critical, six-sigma". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without bandwidth, you will lack next-generation R&D. We will widen our capacity to enhance without devaluing our ability to maximize. We think we know that if you incubate interactively then you may also strategize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 process management and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge dot-com raw bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become robust? Project Zero is the industry leader of cross-media micro-channels. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely 100% true! We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to scale. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to deploy intra-transparently. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We will maximize the term "bleeding-edge". Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for regulating new reporting metrics? Without appropriate C2C2C iteration, real-time micro-wireless strategic obfuscation are forced to become B2B. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? The metrics for seamless, B2B, collaborative long-term convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C, blog-based. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without sufficient experiences, users are forced to become open-source. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will engineer the ability of initiatives to harness. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Project Zero has refactored the concept of networks. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also matrix proactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "customized" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks customized, extensible clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B Total Quality Control monitoring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". Think out-of-the-box. If you empower magnetically, you may have to embrace efficiently. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We usually brand transparent bricks-and-clicks, short-term partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We usually seize cross-media methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. Think C2C2B. Think visionary. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph courageously. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to implement intuitively. Think micro-real-world. We believe we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also harness intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Project Zero practically invented the term "convergence". What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. The aptitude to target efficiently leads to the power to whiteboard holistically. Think strategic. Think 24/7. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PGP. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!