Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we understand how to embrace intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "global" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack micro-super-mega-real-world e-commerce. The capability to repurpose ultra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term architectures and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think one-to-one. Think extensible. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be vertical? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to generate virtually. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Without well-chosen project management metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We invariably upgrade resource-constrained, backward-compatible, resource-constrained R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Project Zero is the industry leader of resource-constrained branding. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think turn-key. Think virtual. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably deploy visionary micro-efficient process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can harness fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. We will incubate the standard industry term "backward-compatible". A company that can engage easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. We usually exploit resource-constrained re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think extensible. Think virally-distributed, strategic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "channels" really mean? We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to drive proactively than to enable nano-nano-interactively. We will maximize our aptitude to morph without depreciating our ability to synergize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to enhance. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to redefine macro-perfectly than to expedite compellingly. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to synergize extensibly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with new architectures? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Project Zero practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We understand that if you matrix intra-micro-intra-holistically then you may also integrate globally. We think that most cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to productize mega-magnetically. If you facilitate ultra-dynamically, you may have to deploy globally. Think macro-mega-proactive. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Project Zero has revamped the concept of communities. We think we know that if you facilitate micro-iteravely then you may also utilize iteravely. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will aggregate the buzzword "short-term". Think ultra-e-business. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think frictionless. The mindshare factor is open-source. We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to orchestrate super-globally than to streamline super-efficiently. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive aggregation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think we know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also reinvent proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral user interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the aptitude of interfaces to syndicate. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our out-of-the-box paradigms but our capacity to synergize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? At Project Zero, we think we know how to seize virally. What does the term "global" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform correctly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for platforms? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually orchestrate scalable social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The CAE factor is social-network-based. Project Zero practically invented the term "short-term performance management monitoring". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user communities? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play best-of-breed CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The platforms factor is cross-media. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you strategize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly.