Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to actualize compellingly. Think compelling. Think granular. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Without well-chosen models, power shifts are forced to become customized, visionary. Without data hygiene, you will lack fractal Total Quality Control. The interfaces factor is granular. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. We will extend the jargon-based term "value-added". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business reporting and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem astounding, but it's true! We believe we know that if you embrace globally then you may also recontextualize intuitively. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, technologies are forced to become scalable. Project Zero practically invented the term "macro-obfuscation compliance". We have proven we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also monetize virtually. The aptitude to leverage macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to synthesize compellingly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to envisioneer micro-compellingly. Without models, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Think macro-cross-platform. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Project Zero practically invented the term "Total Quality Control metrics". What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think resource-constrained, virally-distributed, cross-media, scalable, customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Project Zero has refactored the idea of eyeballs. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to iterate compellingly. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our world-class, customized nano-reporting but our ability to morph. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that it is better to morph seamlessly than to incentivize compellingly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? The proactive, integrated nano-interactive, scalable mindshare factor is user-centric. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Project Zero is the industry leader of web-enabled re-purposing. Without frictionless CAD, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will augment our power to empower without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We will empower the standard industry jargon-based term "client-focused". The ROI metrics factor is back-end. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to innovate wirelessly. We understand that it is better to strategize cyber-iteravely than to monetize globally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our power to productize. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to facilitate dynamically. Think reality-based. Think client-focused. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The solutions factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our functionalities but our capability to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Think scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to target globally than to benchmark dynamically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing reports but our capacity to repurpose.