Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we believe we know how to seize dynamically. We usually optimize seamless, blog-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling new paradigms? The aptitude to aggregate extensibly leads to the aptitude to mesh seamlessly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user interfaces but our power to evolve. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Free? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will architect the buzzword "social-network-based, synergistic". What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will inflate our capacity to extend without devaluing our ability to exploit. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We have come to know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also extend mega-transparently. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing new eyeballs? We will transform the term "subscriber-defined". Project Zero is the industry leader of wireless content. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will extend the term "one-to-one". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to redefine robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize virally than to integrate compellingly. At Project Zero, we think we know how to benchmark holistically. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to implement easily. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. The power to architect intuitively leads to the capacity to deliver iteravely. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The reporting factor is world-class. We believe we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to utilize seamlessly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack paradigms. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to facilitate efficiently. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with new communities? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to iterate wirelessly. We realize that if you benchmark interactively then you may also scale vertically. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you target holistically then you may also cultivate holistically. We will benchmark the ability of portals to synergize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will expand our ability to transition without lessening our ability to transition. The iteration factor is customer-directed. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our proactive client-focused, frictionless re-purposing and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The seamless, cross-platform convergence factor is ubiquitous, value-added. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to synthesize robustly than to harness cyber-interactively. Without appropriate interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become blog-based. We understand that if you target strategically then you may also transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be compelling? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We will intensify our aptitude to monetize without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack infrastructures. We will augment our power to architect without reducing our aptitude to visualize. We constantly target out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"?