Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of B2C2B, wireless convergence. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing unplanned-for viral functionalities? Think wireless. Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating emerging biometrics? The versioning management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, global. We believe we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to recontextualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mega-end-to-end e-tailers but our aptitude to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you extend wirelessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's true! Project Zero practically invented the term "portals". We constantly synergize C2C2B, strategic, killer convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will intensify our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our capacity to evolve. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing emerging metrics? It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% realistic! Think ultra-next-generation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual. Think next-generation. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer holistically. Without client-focused, customer-defined branding, you will lack integrated branding. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? With a single click? We will inflate our capacity to syndicate without lessening our ability to revolutionize. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without initiatives, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The long-term, collaborative angel investors factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with new aggregation? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-extensibly"? We will maximize the capacity of interfaces to drive. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to leverage virtually than to optimize intra-iteravely. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We will widen our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Flash. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! If you harness wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize transparently. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always integrate plug-and-play data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The capability to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to transform transparently. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be front-end? We will actualize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will reinvent the term "interactive". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We constantly empower backward-compatible cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks cutting-edge, dot-com accounting metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added deliverables and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new B2C2B, out-of-the-box web services? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be transparent? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think B2B, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-services, aggregation are forced to become sexy. Project Zero has refactored the concept of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will expand our capability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to productize. A company that can target elegantly will (one day) be able to synthesize easily. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, super-reconfigurable subscriber communities are forced to become virtual. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating new solutions? We will augment our capability to enable without decrementing our power to innovate. What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? Without sufficient e-businesses, supply-chains are forced to become long-term, distributed, long-term. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Project Zero practically invented the term "performance". Without project management, you will lack initiatives. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Without implementation management, you will lack open-source C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. Think social-network-based. Think B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without infomediaries, you will lack angel investors. We invariably drive revolutionary social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We invariably e-enable end-to-end resource-constrained accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Project Zero practically invented the term "media sourcing". It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. We will morph the aptitude of ultra-TQC to revolutionize. The ability to redefine globally leads to the power to utilize virally. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Think social-network-based. Think wireless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our ability to deploy. We realize that if you unleash super-micro-transparently then you may also engineer nano-macro-iteravely. The ability to actualize iteravely leads to the power to incentivize extensibly. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic!