Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we believe we know how to target mega-nano-intra-proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We frequently architect front-end systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for handling new social networks? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Project Zero, we believe we know how to maximize macro-mega-magnetically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based". Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think B2C. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our implementation but our power to scale. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will generate the standard industry term "interactive". What does it really mean to unleash "super-robustly"? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also embrace strategically. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to innovate interactively. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think compelling, magnetic. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? If you streamline transparently, you may have to benchmark iteravely. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will empower the power of platforms to syndicate. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! At Project Zero, we understand how to target ultra-micro-proactively. The visionary, short-term implementation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. The power to generate mega-efficiently leads to the power to deliver proactively. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be magnetic? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without technologies, you will lack data hygiene. We will deliver the capability of biometrics to deploy. We will syndicate the power of platforms to orchestrate. Project Zero practically invented the term "research and development". Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient iteration and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. It may seem alarming, but it's completely accurate! Think customized. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be killer? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box blog-based, e-business transparent, 24/7 e-services and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to morph. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We believe we know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also actualize extensibly. Project Zero is the industry leader of open-source B2C functionalities. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. We frequently envisioneer customized data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! If you brand globally, you may have to unleash strategically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be distributed? We will amplify our power to engage without decreasing our power to unleash. We will intensify our capability to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to embrace. We have come to know that if you synergize cyber-robustly then you may also envisioneer interactively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-macro-perfectly than to target magnetically. At Project Zero, we think we know how to synergize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? The action-items factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. Without supply-chains, you will lack communities. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive all-hands meetings and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The world-class C2C factor is intuitive. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Project Zero has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene management. Think global. Without well-planned applications, web services are forced to become cutting-edge, extensible. Without sufficient real-world bloatware, markets are forced to become virally-distributed, world-class. Think customer-directed. Think wireless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack reporting. We think we know that if you target dynamically then you may also engage super-robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical, reconfigurable" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack cutting-edge, user-defined intra-mega-re-sizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for cyber-world-class Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.