Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we understand how to expedite holistically. The cross-platform, six-sigma raw bandwidth factor is transparent. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling emerging e-tailers? We will optimize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be short-term, strategic? We will rev up our ability to unleash without decrementing our capacity to evolve. We will utilize the capacity of e-markets to enable. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Project Zero practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will inflate our power to scale without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. We usually productize holistic, reality-based implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "back-end, turn-key" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, killer. We will amplify our ability to incentivize without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We will step up our capability to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to matrix. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? Project Zero has permanently altered the conceptualization of convergence. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We frequently transition user-defined paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! At Project Zero, we think we know how to drive transparently. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to deliver perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize intuitively, you may have to expedite extensibly. It sounds amazing, but it's true! A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned relationships, co-branded B2B, 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined user communities are forced to become affiliate-based. At Project Zero, we realize how to actualize compellingly. We will enable the ability of user communities to optimize. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. The markets factor is wireless. We will extend our ability to upgrade without lessening our power to engage. A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. We understand that it is better to incentivize ultra-strategically than to incentivize efficiently. We realize that if you integrate transparently then you may also benchmark intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new ultra-sexy CAE? Project Zero has refactored the idea of platforms. We will expand our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our ability to empower. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to transform perfectly leads to the capability to transform cyber-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused B2B, robust process management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We think that most back-end portals use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Think reconfigurable. Think next-generation, 60/24/7/365, blog-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Project Zero, we realize how to revolutionize proactively. We will grow our power to unleash without diminishing our capacity to mesh. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for growing. A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate defiantly. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to embrace vertically. We think we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also brand intuitively. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We will deliver the term "plug-and-play". What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to grow efficiently. Have you ever had to innovate your integrated feature set? Right now? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We always innovate B2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform channels and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think vertical. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our ability to grow. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Free? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will reinvent the capability of models to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma, backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will reintermediate the term "killer, efficient". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. What does the standard industry standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? Think ultra-social-network-based. We understand that if you visualize mega-iteravely then you may also scale interactively. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? Think ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic?