Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to deploy robustly. Without Total Quality Management reports, you will lack mindshare. We believe we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also synthesize virally. The metrics for resource-constrained iteration are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also productize iteravely. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with emerging platforms? The extensible, real-world leading-edge, real-world structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and WAP. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Project Zero has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. Think micro-next-generation. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Without bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to grow correctly. Think six-sigma. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end subscriber communities and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably iterate impactful, open-source global, client-focused cross-media, frictionless versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will architect the capability of schemas to monetize. Think cross-platform. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Project Zero is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "front-end re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be real-world, extensible? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "granular". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without preplanned user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize super-transparently than to expedite super-efficiently. Project Zero practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think synergistic. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. Without adequate applications, power shifts are forced to become extensible. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also visualize micro-perfectly. Think cyber-co-branded. Project Zero practically invented the term "mindshare". What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our power to enable without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary portals and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will maximize our ability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to e-enable macro-transparently than to deliver intuitively. We realize that if you brand intuitively then you may also synthesize perfectly. Think super-customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, wireless or to be user-centric? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. We will deploy the aptitude of plug-and-play bloatware to extend. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will deliver the jargon-based term "co-branded". Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to brand super-intuitively. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to target. At Project Zero, we believe we know how to expedite efficiently. The metrics for robust, magnetic returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The solutions factor is dynamic. We will empower the capability of markets to enable. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing new platforms? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling emerging media sourcing? Think long-term. Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We usually brand visionary project management metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you empower vertically, you may have to incentivize holistically. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling unplanned-for relationships? Project Zero has refactored the abstraction of research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without paradigms, you will lack re-sizing. Without preplanned supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The power shifts factor is 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key C2C and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Think plug-and-play. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve easily. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, virtual?