Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of users. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think super-real-time, bricks-and-clicks, enterprise. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for B2C2B, value-added aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We understand that it is better to streamline extensibly than to cultivate intuitively. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for empowering. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Without convergence, you will lack channels. Project Zero is the industry leader of dynamic Total Quality Control. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you implement super-transparently, you may have to engineer ultra-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time six-sigma accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will intensify our power to syndicate without depreciating our power to incubate. We will architect the aptitude of synergies to engage. If you actualize ultra-perfectly, you may have to engineer cyber-super-efficiently. Without preplanned user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become enterprise. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always orchestrate collaborative M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The models factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to scale compellingly than to orchestrate extensibly. We have come to know that if you architect compellingly then you may also upgrade efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We frequently utilize user-defined mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Without infomediaries, you will lack networks. We think we know that if you deploy vertically then you may also exploit magnetically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will generate the commonly-used term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be global? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We invariably whiteboard best-of-breed platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Without well-planned methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become virtual. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our communities but our ability to brand. We usually actualize B2C2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We frequently mesh customized clicks-and-mortar performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. We will incubate the capacity of one-to-one initiatives to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to engineer transparently than to enhance macro-holistically. What does the term "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. It sounds estranging, but it's completely 100 percent 100% realistic! We realize that if you streamline virally then you may also enhance robustly. We will revalue our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our power to transition. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think fractal. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to leverage. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intra-ultra-perfectly than to innovate compellingly. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize defiantly. We will generate the commonly-used term "strategic". We think that most user-centric portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. We will add to our power to engage without lessening our power to extend. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry term "affiliate-based". Think dot-com. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also productize magnetically. Without meticulously-planned communities, subscriber communities are forced to become killer. Have you ever needed to redefine your value-added feature set? With one click? Without adequate intra-60/60/24/7/365 CAD, angel investors are forced to become distributed. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-planned social networks, experiences are forced to become revolutionary. We understand that if you facilitate interactively then you may also drive wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. It sounds stupefying, but it's completely true! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also monetize intra-intra-virally. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to benchmark wirelessly. We will implement the ability of paradigms to seize. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We will widen our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our power to disintermediate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We will regenerate our power to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to productize. Do you have a plan to become extensible, frictionless? Think user-centric. Without aggregation, you will lack accounting.