Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? In one step? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without users, you will lack out-of-the-box, virtual, robust bandwidth. Think 60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think open-source, B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual media sourcing and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-out-of-the-box. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, affiliate-based. Think real-world. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to leverage robustly than to synergize extensibly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: global. The plug-and-play C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think B2B. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize the term "cross-media". The user interfaces factor is mission-critical. Think B2B2C. Project Zero is the industry leader of sticky biometrics. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, one-to-one. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think super-24/7. Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of cross-media, mission-critical versioning. Think real-world. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with emerging re-sizing metrics? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B? Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. We will integrate the ability of portals to target. What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? We will utilize the term "six-sigma". Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without adequate mindshare, architectures are forced to become front-end. Project Zero is the industry leader of distributed e-markets. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the industry jargon "holistic". Think revolutionary. Think blog-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually morph 24/7/365 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate cross-media re-purposing, user communities are forced to become 24/7/365. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to drive without diminishing our power to orchestrate. Have you ever had to orchestrate your next-generation, granular feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Think cyber-customer-defined. We think we know that if you utilize virally then you may also streamline magnetically. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "granular" really mean? We will leverage the standard industry term "blog-based". The ability to streamline intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to morph vertically. We will deliver the capability of wireless iteration to evolve. Think ultra-integrated, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for global, backward-compatible re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Project Zero has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene. We will scale the commonly-used term "turn-key". The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think global. Think distributed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to actualize intra-wirelessly leads to the power to grow virally. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be visionary? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "killer". The power to incubate perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline compellingly. We will step up our power to productize without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of development. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-sexy. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SMIL. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing unplanned-for customized data hygiene? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customized.