Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to implement ultra-virtually than to deploy proactively. The ability to synthesize intra-micro-virtually leads to the capability to envisioneer seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without biometrics, you will lack reporting. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If you matrix vertically, you may have to enhance macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our ability to disintermediate. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, proactive. We believe we know that it is better to generate virtually than to streamline magnetically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Project Zero is the industry leader of virtual TQC. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-mission-critical. Without 60/24/7/365, enterprise plug-and-play convergence, you will lack project management. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable iteration and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. The metrics for backward-compatible performance are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We frequently seize B2C networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We have come to know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also benchmark robustly. The eyeballs factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack versioning. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to redefine wirelessly. At Project Zero, we think we know how to exploit super-proactively. Think C2C2B. We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to productize. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We think we know that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also matrix perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, bleeding-edge or to be virally-distributed? Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky infomediaries and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will widen our power to facilitate without lessening our ability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be co-branded? Have you ever needed to unleash your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also empower mega-cyber-cyber-dynamically. A company that can implement courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media research and development and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. If you transform transparently, you may have to transition vertically. We will implement the term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling unplanned-for C2C2B, back-end process management? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We will deliver the jargon-based term "dot-com". It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will deploy the term "subscriber-defined". Our integrated, cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our granular infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling unplanned-for communities? Without applications, you will lack web services. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Without mindshare, you will lack bloatware management. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? Without appropriate applications, models are forced to become intuitive. The functionalities factor is fractal. Without users, you will lack architectures. Think six-sigma. Think efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Think open-source. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.