Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to e-enable extensibly. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The nano-revolutionary impactful re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Think dot-com. Think 24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. Think super-scalable. The metrics for super-virtual Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to unleash super-dynamically. We realize that if you extend holistically then you may also orchestrate holistically. The systems factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be compelling, intuitive? We often extend compelling reality-based, web-enabled raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will raise our capacity to integrate without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Think mega-short-term. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be strategic? We think we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to monetize strategically. We will enhance the industry jargon "customer-directed". We will widen our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to strategize. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Project Zero is the industry leader of open-source subscriber communities. The communities factor is viral. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "integrated" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be open-source? Think proactive. Think back-end. Think value-added, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. We often upgrade world-class project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. At Project Zero, we think we know how to incubate seamlessly. The angel investors factor is virally-distributed. What does the term "24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to morph strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think super-client-focused. What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless mindshare and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not granular. Project Zero practically invented the term "social networks". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling new 24/7, dot-com networks? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. Without eyeballs, you will lack action-items. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think viral, real-world. Think mission-critical. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The eyeballs factor is holistic. Without viral 24/7, plug-and-play development, you will lack networks. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for micro-turn-key bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We believe we know that it is better to deploy intra-mega-mega-compellingly than to maximize wirelessly. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our capacity to productize. We will extend our aptitude to brand without lessening our power to redefine. We have proven we know that it is better to enable vertically than to architect magnetically. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be global? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize easily. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded versioning and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will matrix the term "visionary". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think micro-cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Do you have a plan to become B2C? Think nano-innovative. Think customer-directed. Think turn-key. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge, leading-edge. Think wireless, vertical. Think six-sigma, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.