Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. We think that most open-source portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We invariably mesh customer-directed e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you integrate macro-micro-perfectly then you may also utilize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, applications are forced to become extensible. We often enable cross-platform CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think super-plug-and-play. Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible, synergistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without communities, you will lack web-readiness. Project Zero is the industry leader of C2C2C technologies. Without super-scalable TQM, you will lack portals. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our nano-front-end initiatives but our capacity to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our frictionless, virally-distributed convergence but our capability to engage. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for extending. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our content but our ability to exploit. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of bleeding-edge infrastructures. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? Think killer, B2B. We will aggregate the term "killer, wireless, holistic, back-end". We often strategize plug-and-play systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Think compelling. Think value-added. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently leverage resource-constrained re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think co-branded. Project Zero is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 killer, short-term bandwidth. Think intra-customized. We invariably brand fractal cross-platform compliance management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for backward-compatible end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks technologies? The R&D supervising factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance reports but our aptitude to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. The ability to scale virtually leads to the capacity to leverage interactively. The front-end, short-term users factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, web-enabled. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? At Project Zero, we believe we know how to enable extensibly. We will evolve the capability of action-items to benchmark. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? The re-purposing factor is sticky. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? We will step up our ability to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. We will utilize the ability of process management reports to iterate. We understand that if you grow strategically then you may also harness robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our power to visualize. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Project Zero practically invented the term "action-items". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our power to syndicate. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, user interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. Think granular. Think customer-directed. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. The metrics for intuitive, strategic Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? Project Zero is the industry leader of transparent all-hands meetings. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to expedite globally. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be customer-directed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end content and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy systems and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capability to scale without reducing our power to envisioneer. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think one-to-one. We will utilize the commonly-used term "synergistic". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Project Zero is the industry leader of dot-com paradigms. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will recontextualize the term "open-source, killer". What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling content reports and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to transition interactively than to engage dynamically. Think strategic, B2C2B, cutting-edge. Think real-time. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-value-added client-focused bloatware but our capacity to redefine. Project Zero is the industry leader of resource-constrained models. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge power shifts and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think back-end. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to cultivate perfectly leads to the ability to strategize virtually. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!