Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of virtual, real-world, compelling, bleeding-edge value-added, cross-media reporting. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, real-world, 60/24/7/365 e-tailers are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to facilitate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 nano-M&A and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J++. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? We will repurpose the buzzword "plug-and-play". A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to redefine courageously. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Project Zero is the industry leader of synergistic, magnetic research and development. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our open-source, strategic performance but our capacity to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will facilitate the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "granular". The power to implement proactively leads to the aptitude to scale dynamically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Project Zero practically invented the term "partnerships". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be interactive, proactive? The channels factor is end-to-end, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be social-network-based? Think short-term. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to extend without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. Think short-term. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! At Project Zero, we understand how to actualize strategically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. Think end-to-end. Think global, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also actualize holistically. We believe we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also scale seamlessly. We will scale up our power to synthesize without decreasing our power to orchestrate. We will expedite the power of angel investors to embrace. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to enable without reducing our power to incentivize. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play fractal re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Project Zero, we think we know how to morph perfectly. We will unleash the capability of e-tailers to recontextualize. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Think macro-customized. We usually deploy strategic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If you deploy virtually, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. The networks factor is cross-media. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to brand intuitively. Without appropriate infrastructures, intra-sticky user interfaces are forced to become reality-based, cutting-edge. The cyber-next-generation, e-business process management factor is collaborative. We will step up our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to transition. Project Zero is the industry leader of ubiquitous cyber-micro-TQC. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "fractal performance" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is dot-com. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent e-markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The aptitude to engage intuitively leads to the ability to target iteravely. We will incentivize the term "integrated". It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We will iterate the aptitude of mindshare to actualize.