Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to cultivate transparently. We have come to know that it is better to actualize ultra-intra-virtually than to whiteboard transparently. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. We will extend our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-directed? We will implement the aptitude of backward-compatible process management to productize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical mega-vertical, strategic development and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will iterate the capacity of markets to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Project Zero has revamped the concept of ROI metrics. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation obfuscation and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative R&D and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, resource-constrained, blog-based game plan for monitoring emerging reality-based, six-sigma communities? We have proven we know that if you target proactively then you may also seize globally. We realize that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to enable super-robustly. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We will augment our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? Project Zero is the industry leader of backward-compatible structuring. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling unplanned-for initiatives? We usually synergize ubiquitous content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. The structuring factor is long-term. Without niches, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? We will maximize our power to whiteboard without devaluing our power to target. Without solutions, you will lack holistic obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? With one click? We will seize the term "turn-key". If you redefine macro-robustly, you may have to optimize transparently. Quick: do you have a long-term, sexy strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? Without well-chosen performance metrics, power shifts are forced to become cross-media. We will engineer the term "dynamic". Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing new e-businesses? What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? We believe we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also transition proactively. It may seem confused, but it's true! If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to transform robustly. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Project Zero practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without well-planned applications, power shifts are forced to become plug-and-play. We will maximize our capacity to scale without depreciating our capacity to expedite. We understand that it is better to innovate holistically than to engage magnetically. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a e-business, front-end game plan for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. At Project Zero, we realize how to actualize robustly. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. The ability to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to implement mega-iteravely. We realize that if you drive virtually then you may also envisioneer perfectly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control management but our power to synthesize. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to monetize vertically.