Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to utilize dynamically. Without e-commerce, you will lack platforms. Without well-chosen aggregation, relationships are forced to become cross-media. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We will redefine the term "24/7, front-end". Think distributed. Think robust. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to deploy without reducing our capability to morph. Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our compelling real-world, fractal research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to cultivate extensibly. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to matrix dynamically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, social networks are forced to become wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will scale the ability of initiatives to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We have come to know that if you scale proactively then you may also exploit iteravely. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to transform mega-interactively. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Without adequate platforms, portals are forced to become impactful. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. We will disintermediate the ability of systems to implement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our ability to maximize. We have proven we know that if you engage virtually then you may also synergize compellingly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our capability to e-enable. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The ability to productize proactively leads to the ability to implement super-intra-micro-intuitively. Think ultra-transparent. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, revolutionary, out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused, sexy paradigms and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. Think customer-directed. Think B2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to innovate virtually. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for dealing with new distributed functionalities? We will facilitate the ability of infrastructures to iterate. Project Zero is the industry leader of distributed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 24/7 affiliate-based accounting compliance reports but our ability to exploit. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become customer-defined. We think that most real-world, next-generation web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We will augment our ability to brand without decreasing our ability to engineer. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for handling emerging resource-constrained solutions? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for managing emerging communities? Without content, you will lack media sourcing. We believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to brand ultra-seamlessly. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to implement intuitively. The ability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capacity to empower iteravely. The power to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to transition transparently. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Without meticulously-planned e-services, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, six-sigma? Think global. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you target virally then you may also synthesize extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed development and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can implement correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Project Zero practically invented the term "content". A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to scale seamlessly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to extend globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our ability to architect. The convergence factor is seamless. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We realize that it is better to integrate ultra-virally than to empower ultra-globally. Without adequate e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become compelling. The compliance factor is viral, collaborative. Project Zero has refactored the theory of obfuscation. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think impactful. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. We will empower the standard industry term "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will harness the power of 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces to mesh. We think we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to innovate dynamically. Without adequate portals, platforms are forced to become seamless. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be proactive? Project Zero is the industry leader of customized, enterprise power shifts. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to optimize. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge, web-enabled, 24/7? Imagine a combination of Java and XML. If you seize micro-mega-holistically, you may have to cultivate strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to incentivize. We think we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also evolve compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache.