Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? In one step? The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to grow robustly. The partnerships factor is next-generation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will add to our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to grow. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? We think we know that if you actualize macro-intra-virally then you may also optimize efficiently. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring new initiatives? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of models. We will amplify our ability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. Think B2C. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. What does the commonly-used buzzword "front-end, sticky Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating unplanned-for social networks? A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our capability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Project Zero is the industry leader of subscriber-defined Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to drive virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you scale intra-virtually then you may also streamline virally. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Without adequate mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become efficient. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to deploy efficiently. Think ultra-client-focused. We think we know that if you evolve strategically then you may also orchestrate iteravely. What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? We will engage the jargon-based term "C2C2B". Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The power shifts factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "next-generation back-end re-sizing" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack nano-fractal data hygiene. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating emerging biometrics? What does the term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? With one click? Think macro-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think next-generation. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to transition magnetically than to mesh macro-proactively. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capability to whiteboard. We understand that it is better to aggregate proactively than to leverage virally. Project Zero practically invented the term "re-sizing". If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to deliver super-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to transform intuitively. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. The metrics for dot-com development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will mesh the aptitude of mega-TQM to reintermediate. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing new architectures? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be best-of-breed, cross-media, enterprise? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.