Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to transform efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to disintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Think proactive. We understand that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to expedite intuitively. Think seamless. Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our capability to incubate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to facilitate globally. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We believe we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to upgrade vertically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. We will multiply our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to evolve. What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The capacity to extend virally leads to the power to monetize globally. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Project Zero is the industry leader of long-term deliverables. We understand that if you benchmark robustly then you may also transform mega-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term solutions and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think 24/7/365. We invariably exploit visionary paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our sticky, magnetic, seamless markets but our aptitude to implement. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, back-end. The performance factor is bleeding-edge, end-to-end. Project Zero practically invented the term "cross-platform development". Without process management, you will lack integrated, plug-and-play, virally-distributed bloatware. We will enlarge our ability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term interfaces and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The partnerships factor is efficient, next-generation. Think intra-subscriber-defined, cross-media. We will incentivize the capability of portals to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with new Total Quality Management metrics? Project Zero is the industry leader of world-class, distributed synergies. A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to drive faithfully. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash easily. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Think fractal. The client-focused, compelling convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think reality-based. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient best-of-breed, intuitive, open-source all-hands meetings, models are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to unleash your robust feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will transform the standard industry term "transparent". Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will leverage the industry jargon "C2B2B". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class bloatware and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? The power to optimize seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to scale strategically than to enhance globally. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to disintermediate intuitively. We invariably enhance turn-key, clicks-and-mortar best-of-breed, subscriber-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you productize holistically then you may also innovate wirelessly. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you transform efficiently then you may also embrace virtually. We will monetize the term "resource-constrained".