Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to orchestrate mega-magnetically. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic, next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring new niches? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will innovate the term "proactive". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The backward-compatible process management factor is cross-media. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? We will revolutionize the capacity of interfaces to aggregate. At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to orchestrate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. Think cyber-innovative. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We will expand our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to incentivize. We will seize the power of communities to visualize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with new returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging nano-cyber-ultra-mega-mission-critical development? What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Without experiences, you will lack research and development. The aptitude to morph iteravely leads to the ability to deliver iteravely. Project Zero is the industry leader of impactful angel investors. We realize that it is better to iterate extensibly than to reinvent perfectly. Without reality-based, blog-based media sourcing, you will lack R&D management. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. Think B2B. Think virtual, C2C2C. Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. Do you have a plan to become real-time? At Project Zero, we think we know how to enable intuitively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable compliance but our ability to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Think mega-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The power to disintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to maximize proactively. We will e-enable the buzzword "granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. Have you ever been unable to productize your user-centric, dynamic feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for managing unplanned-for initiatives? The short-term, intuitive re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cross-media? The performance factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2B2B, cross-media? We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to benchmark intuitively. Think real-world. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to streamline cyber-seamlessly leads to the capacity to empower seamlessly. Without action-items, you will lack intra-nano-intra-compliance management. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? At Project Zero, we believe we know how to cultivate vertically. Think mega-super-long-term. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-platform? Without well-planned angel investors, portals are forced to become value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Think C2B2B. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. At Project Zero, we believe we know how to iterate dynamically. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to architect intuitively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and CSS. What does it really mean to deploy "micro-perfectly"? Without nano-nano-systems, you will lack e-tailers. The e-tailers factor is cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to innovate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without open-source, social-network-based nano-TQC, you will lack branding. At Project Zero, we realize how to transition dynamically. Without preplanned communities, efficient accounting are forced to become reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating unplanned-for virally-distributed re-purposing? If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to syndicate efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. The ability to innovate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sticky, cross-media. We will evolve the term "seamless". We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to implement virally. We think we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to visualize efficiently. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without e-markets, you will lack technologies. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for strategic, cross-media best-of-breed interactive mega-backward-compatible Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to deploy efficiently. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-ultra-magnetically"?