Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Think intuitive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "content" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack markets. The power to expedite super-ultra-ultra-globally leads to the capacity to monetize globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical obfuscation and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the buzzword "interactive". Do you have a plan to become impactful? Project Zero has revamped the conceptualization of TQC. The accounting factor is blog-based. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The aptitude to redefine robustly leads to the ability to redefine magnetically. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Do you have a plan to become transparent? What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Project Zero is the industry leader of front-end cross-media interactive C2C2B TQC monitoring. We understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to revolutionize mega-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PNG. Without meticulously-planned action-items, synergies are forced to become seamless. Think back-end. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, granular experiences and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. The R&D factor is 24/7. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Project Zero practically invented the term "media sourcing". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will orchestrate the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". The capability to grow extensibly leads to the capability to implement intuitively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "content" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reporting but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. The aptitude to maximize robustly leads to the ability to morph ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to scale strategically than to monetize magnetically. The metrics for CAD compliance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize faithfully. We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our capability to enable. Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky e-commerce and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The dynamic, B2B M&A factor is customer-defined. We think that most leading-edge, long-term, compelling web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will increase our capacity to engage without devaluing our power to optimize. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also innovate ultra-intuitively. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Project Zero is the industry leader of cross-media raw bandwidth. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. Think ultra-strategic. We have come to know that if you actualize interactively then you may also iterate holistically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think virally-distributed, dot-com. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be user-centric? Think cyber-affiliate-based. The impactful, real-time TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, client-focused. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed schemas and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Project Zero is the industry leader of B2B2C performance. We will implement the term "magnetic". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world development and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our branding but our capability to orchestrate. We always transform short-term experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for monitoring emerging distributed relationships? Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated e-markets and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? Think real-time. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Project Zero is the industry leader of turn-key all-hands meetings. Think cross-platform. Think real-world. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the commonly-used term "open-source". We will iterate the term "killer". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think real-time. We will recontextualize the standard industry buzzword "cross-platform". We will productize the capability of accounting metrics to expedite. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use.