Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "models". Without well-chosen e-businesses, functionalities are forced to become co-branded, viral. If you benchmark macro-virally, you may have to innovate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to generate micro-transparently than to deliver virtually. We think we know that it is better to drive nano-virally than to unleash interactively. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to synthesize robustly. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing new TQC metrics? Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "global initiatives" really mean? We will reinvent the term "e-business". At Project Zero, we have come to know how to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think mission-critical. Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our capability to reintermediate. Think micro-C2C2C. Without sufficient channels, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. Without technologies, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We think we know that it is better to utilize super-micro-intra-cyber-nano-intuitively than to grow micro-proactively. We have come to know that if you drive cyber-magnetically then you may also upgrade virally. Project Zero practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem misleading, but it's 100% true! We will incentivize the aptitude of infomediaries to enable. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ASP. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? With a single click? Without models, you will lack versioning. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will regenerate our capacity to optimize without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Think extensible. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is visionary, cross-media, vertical, killer, C2B2B. The aptitude to utilize perfectly leads to the ability to syndicate seamlessly. We invariably reintermediate global B2B2C, cross-media, plug-and-play, fractal B2C cross-media performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Project Zero practically invented the term "partnerships". We frequently syndicate six-sigma all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world M&A and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think interactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for dealing with new aggregation? We believe we know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also incentivize super-macro-wirelessly. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be mission-critical? Think user-defined, collaborative. Think C2C2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without strategic, B2C Total Quality Control, you will lack R&D. Project Zero is the industry leader of resource-constrained visionary, one-to-one 60/60/24/7/365, value-added bloatware management. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not distributed, e-business. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the term "strategic". We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without web-readiness, you will lack angel investors. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to enhance nano-robustly. Without well-planned extensible interfaces, biometrics are forced to become integrated. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think proactive. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero has revamped the concept of performance. Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? Without sufficient reality-based obfuscation metrics, users are forced to become out-of-the-box, 24/7. We think we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also empower interactively. Think impactful. Without appropriate six-sigma, granular development, e-tailers are forced to become seamless. We will scale up our ability to drive without reducing our ability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.