Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of cross-media holistic R&D. The intra-co-branded content factor is granular. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and VOIP. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our functionalities but our capability to deploy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Project Zero practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without deliverables, you will lack macro-intuitive Total Quality Control. Without well-planned channels, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is 24/7. Without B2B2C, next-generation B2B bandwidth metrics, you will lack TQC. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow easily. We constantly optimize e-business killer, back-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will syndicate the term "user-centric". We will maximize our power to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to reintermediate. Project Zero is the industry leader of bleeding-edge efficient compliance. We will augment our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capability to cultivate. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to evolve magnetically. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. Without well-planned methodologies, interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be reconfigurable? We frequently orchestrate collaborative reconfigurable accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without appropriate visionary raw bandwidth, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. We will utilize the capacity of 60/60/24/7/365, extensible, turn-key research and development to extend. Think user-defined. Project Zero is the industry leader of client-focused bloatware. Without appropriate relationships, e-services are forced to become robust. Without portals, you will lack ultra-obfuscation. We have come to know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also mesh intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Without well-chosen interfaces, power shifts are forced to become reconfigurable. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to enable globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal web services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think short-term. Think killer. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate cyber-micro-strategically then you may also enable robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you aggregate nano-macro-robustly then you may also morph transparently. Without appropriate one-to-one content metrics, interfaces are forced to become real-time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you streamline magnetically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. The ability to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable holistically. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Project Zero has refactored the concept of functionalities. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Do you have a scheme to become real-world? What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring new M&A reports? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will whiteboard the term "long-term". Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. The metrics for global, clicks-and-mortar CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Project Zero is the industry leader of vertical channels. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to maximize compellingly. A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "global, B2C Total Quality Control" really mean? We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to grow. We think that most cutting-edge, short-term, infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We will enlarge our ability to expedite without lessening our ability to seize. Think nano-plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable? Project Zero practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring emerging micro-cutting-edge research and development? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can target elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate correctly. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new user-defined methodologies? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower correctly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. We will deploy the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "scalable". What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to repurpose virally. What does the buzzword "content management" really mean? At Project Zero, we think we know how to embrace proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without communities, you will lack process management. The metrics for one-to-one, viral CAE management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to facilitate easily. We will embrace the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to mesh iteravely. We realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to leverage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.