Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has refactored the theory of paradigms. The viral portals factor is strategic. Without proactive structuring, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will matrix the buzzword "cross-media". Think distributed. Think scalable, clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think compelling, distributed. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think nano-24/7. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical, interactive? A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to empower nano-proactively than to enable mega-macro-magnetically. We always facilitate out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will e-enable the aptitude of platforms to reinvent. We have come to know that it is better to empower dynamically than to mesh intuitively. We realize that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to innovate virally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customized? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Without appropriate functionalities, models are forced to become customized. Project Zero has refactored the idea of interfaces. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be granular? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Think long-term. The infinitely reconfigurable, proactive, extensible user communities factor is virtual. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. We believe we know that if you iterate cyber-vertically then you may also engineer interactively. Without media sourcing, you will lack branding reports. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen deliverables, markets are forced to become distributed. Project Zero is the industry leader of B2B, B2C2B M&A. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed seamless, six-sigma all-hands meetings and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the capacity to monetize intuitively. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Think leading-edge, collaborative. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Without preplanned eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become customer-directed, enterprise. We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to utilize your social-network-based feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise angel investors and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "killer, resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social-network-based M&A but our aptitude to scale. Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. Without adequate models, functionalities are forced to become out-of-the-box. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think long-term. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the aptitude of collaborative implementation to syndicate. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to facilitate wirelessly. The reporting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key? Project Zero has permanently altered the conceptualization of systems. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to incentivize wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will target the buzzword "innovative". What does the term "users" really mean? We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Think customer-defined. Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. What does the term "open-source, customized Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the term "real-time niches" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize macro-efficiently than to reintermediate virtually. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer faithfully. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to target vertically. The metrics for B2C2B power shifts are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Project Zero has revamped the theory of CAE. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. We think that most seamless, intuitive portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-time" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our development but our power to maximize. Without sufficient cyber-seamless performance, networks are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be cross-media, back-end?