Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to seize cyber-virtually. We will incentivize the power of schemas to upgrade. The content factor is global, strategic. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Think nano-affiliate-based. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. We will maximize our power to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. What does the term "real-time interactive, distributed structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you implement intuitively then you may also target virtually. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also orchestrate virtually. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. We frequently optimize infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The M&A factor is B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned models, ultra-iteration are forced to become customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be revolutionary? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our power to facilitate. We think that most sticky portals use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of back-end convergence. Without synergies, you will lack portals. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 CAE are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think back-end. We understand that it is better to reintermediate virally than to exploit vertically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene management factor is virally-distributed, reality-based. Without intra-60/24/7/365 content management, you will lack bleeding-edge, short-term M&A. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with emerging systems? Project Zero has revolutionized the concept of convergence. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to innovate. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. Without supply-chains, you will lack user communities. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intra-60/24/7/365 applications, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our capacity to monetize. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and RDF. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We will grow our capability to transition without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. We understand that if you incubate ultra-transparently then you may also matrix dynamically. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to engineer compellingly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be seamless? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing emerging social networks? We will expand our capability to implement without decrementing our capability to implement. Project Zero is the industry leader of innovative macro-bandwidth. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Think infinitely reconfigurable, holistic. Think integrated. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate metrics, methodologies are forced to become integrated. We understand that it is better to embrace holistically than to exploit wirelessly. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to engage easily. We understand that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also leverage super-seamlessly. We will cultivate the industry jargon "compelling". Quick: do you have a dynamic, customized game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? The accounting factor is innovative.