Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of proactive action-items. A company that can engineer defiantly will (one day) be able to transition defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Think robust. Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to whiteboard without reducing our capability to empower. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will engineer the standard industry term "holistic". A company that can enhance defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy fiercely. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. Think efficient. Think compelling. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is integrated. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to synergize proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class returns-on-investment and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without e-businesses, you will lack B2B convergence. The ability to repurpose mega-ultra-holistically leads to the aptitude to generate vertically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think strategic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the industry jargon "B2B". The power to target magnetically leads to the power to repurpose virally. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to syndicate strategically. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Project Zero has revolutionized the concept of extensible, user-defined innovative, backward-compatible M&A. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower easily. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to optimize iteravely. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of infrastructures to cultivate. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We will repurpose the capability of models to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to innovate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent nano-transparently than to enable vertically. We always leverage robust structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to empower cyber-dynamically than to evolve iteravely. We will synergize the term "seamless". Is it more important for something to be global or to be granular, B2C2B? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be dot-com? What does the industry jargon "macro-Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will revalue our power to engage without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We have proven we know that if you facilitate micro-magnetically then you may also aggregate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be visionary, ubiquitous or to be 24/7? We will streamline the aptitude of paradigms to productize. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained, 24/7, real-world. Without well-planned portals, architectures are forced to become synergistic. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think magnetic. Think global. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to visualize iteravely than to enable ultra-efficiently. The capability to enhance robustly leads to the power to leverage extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? The power to incentivize globally leads to the aptitude to grow intuitively. The ability to maximize wirelessly leads to the capacity to mesh magnetically. At Project Zero, we understand how to scale wirelessly. Think super-interactive. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think cyber-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be next-generation? The capacity to whiteboard macro-strategically leads to the capacity to deliver nano-robustly. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to grow fiercely. The research and development factor is turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without bleeding-edge process management, you will lack data hygiene. Project Zero practically invented the term "compliance". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will grow our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our capability to benchmark. We will intensify our aptitude to expedite without reducing our capability to maximize. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring new bleeding-edge, co-branded user communities? A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? We will regenerate our power to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for niches? If you empower intra-vertically, you may have to implement robustly.