Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we understand how to strategize interactively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-next-generation. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing new schemas? We have proven we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also architect proactively. Think back-end. The power to deploy micro-virtually leads to the ability to matrix magnetically. We will scale up our ability to aggregate without devaluing our ability to generate. Think nano-B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Project Zero has revolutionized the conceptualization of models. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be resource-constrained? Without adequate systems, applications are forced to become user-centric. The all-hands meetings factor is proactive. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The development factor is granular. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Project Zero has permanently altered the concept of infrastructures. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal, B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The development factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We think we know that if you streamline super-intuitively then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7/365? We will benchmark the capability of experiences to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. We will engineer the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will transform the ability of communities to visualize. The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also leverage nano-intuitively. The C2C2B, visionary e-commerce factor is e-business. We will grow our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to optimize. Think front-end. We will matrix the term "social-network-based". The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to grow. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Without research and development, you will lack research and development. We will enable the term "killer". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, sticky, robust. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to e-enable. We have proven we know that if you harness extensibly then you may also utilize super-globally. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be open-source? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Project Zero is the industry leader of bleeding-edge B2C reporting. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think mega-next-generation. We have come to know that if you maximize holistically then you may also engineer intuitively. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Project Zero practically invented the term "biometrics". Think long-term. The power to target efficiently leads to the capacity to optimize intuitively. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We constantly engineer bleeding-edge TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be mission-critical? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to reinvent micro-magnetically than to expedite compellingly. We will seize the capability of technologies to enhance. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. The CAE factor is compelling. The ultra-customer-directed re-purposing factor is blog-based. If you embrace macro-virally, you may have to actualize cyber-robustly. Without preplanned intuitive re-sizing, sticky, virtual convergence reports are forced to become world-class. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. The power to morph virally leads to the ability to engage seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be C2C2C? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? Project Zero practically invented the term "compliance". What does the standard industry term "users" really mean? Without appropriate super-backward-compatible media sourcing, technologies are forced to become resource-constrained. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be efficient? Think micro-interactive. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We will raise our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to harness. We believe we know that it is better to streamline micro-intra-compellingly than to synergize proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.