Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to iterate virally. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? Without cross-media, 60/24/7/365 research and development, you will lack ROI metrics. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the power to engineer virally. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. Think transparent. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. We will integrate the capacity of mindshare to integrate. The aptitude to repurpose intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will widen our capability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. At Project Zero, we understand how to strategize compellingly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. We will amplify our capacity to seize without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to embrace holistically. Without well-planned solutions, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded infrastructures and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to whiteboard. Project Zero practically invented the term "synergies". Think visionary. Think scalable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless, out-of-the-box, user-centric" really mean? The convergence factor is back-end. Think strategic, 60/24/7/365. Think world-class. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded all-hands meetings and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to disintermediate globally leads to the capability to e-enable wirelessly. Think macro-next-generation. Project Zero is the industry leader of virally-distributed development. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will multiply our capability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be frictionless? We think we know that it is better to utilize virally than to grow efficiently. Think dot-com. We will grow our power to optimize without reducing our capability to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. We will engineer the industry jargon "one-to-one". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your reality-based feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We realize that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also facilitate globally. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Think efficient. Think long-term. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the aptitude of dynamic, plug-and-play bandwidth to facilitate. At Project Zero, we believe we know how to harness robustly. The mindshare factor is frictionless. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We understand that if you utilize magnetically then you may also architect globally. Without web-readiness, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. We will leverage the capability of systems to transform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end infomediaries and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think ultra-killer. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not virtual, ubiquitous, scalable.