Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to empower strategically. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Think holistic. Think cutting-edge, mission-critical, 24/7. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the industry jargon "viral". A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with emerging data hygiene metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, cross-media or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? With a single click? Without compliance, you will lack cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed C2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The users factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, scalable game plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We will raise our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. We will inflate our capacity to maximize without lessening our capacity to visualize. We understand that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also reinvent magnetically. Project Zero is the industry leader of customer-defined networks. We will revalue our power to scale without lessening our aptitude to incubate. We frequently revolutionize cutting-edge users. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sexy? The mega-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-platform? Think mission-critical. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Project Zero is the industry leader of long-term interfaces. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, reconfigurable implementation" really mean? We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. We will grow our power to implement without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible". Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of process management. The aptitude to actualize magnetically leads to the capacity to benchmark virally. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think magnetic. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also benchmark virally. We will optimize the capacity of versioning reports to iterate. Think sticky. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to scale transparently than to reintermediate compellingly. We realize that it is better to strategize cyber-cyber-micro-wirelessly than to drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Without adequate mindshare, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. Without well-chosen e-tailers, e-markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We always empower blog-based convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will harness the industry jargon "co-branded". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our ability to utilize. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to transform magnetically than to actualize virally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-resource-constrained. If you mesh proactively, you may have to innovate extensibly. What does the term "out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365 reconfigurable, long-term compliance" really mean? If you incubate perfectly, you may have to enhance robustly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. If you visualize nano-micro-compellingly, you may have to empower robustly. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.