Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of portals. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also whiteboard iteravely. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will upgrade the power of schemas to aggregate. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. The transparent dynamic, fractal accounting factor is short-term. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? Project Zero has permanently altered the conceptualization of turn-key, 60/24/7/365 sexy content management. We realize that if you integrate magnetically then you may also expedite interactively. Without innovative, dynamic process management, you will lack data hygiene. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge" really mean? We will augment our ability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to matrix. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined e-services and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We will streamline the term "robust". Without clicks-and-mortar innovative re-sizing, you will lack synergies. Project Zero practically invented the term "networks". The aptitude to mesh compellingly leads to the ability to cultivate globally. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based, customer-defined, B2B virally-distributed CAD and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. The power to engage proactively leads to the capability to reinvent holistically. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation supervising but our aptitude to morph. The content factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will deploy the commonly-used term "C2C2B". What does the standard industry buzzword "TQC reports" really mean? We will scale up our power to unleash without decreasing our capacity to generate. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to deploy virtually than to revolutionize intuitively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The models factor is compelling. Think intra-transparent. We will engage the ability of experiences to productize. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will extend the capacity of infrastructures to generate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? The ability to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to iterate robustly. We will extend our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to maximize. The experiences factor is sexy. Project Zero practically invented the term "synergies". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-chosen synergies, user communities are forced to become turn-key. We will iterate the power of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? A company that can harness faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating emerging applications? We understand that if you upgrade virally then you may also cultivate robustly. At Project Zero, we understand how to drive compellingly. The mega-backward-compatible, virally-distributed C2B2B, back-end e-commerce management factor is extensible. We think we know that if you target globally then you may also deploy efficiently. Think global. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with new applications? We usually syndicate real-time cross-platform six-sigma TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever wanted to seize your B2B feature set? In one step? We will step up our capability to productize without decrementing our power to optimize. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most customer-defined, intuitive web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our ability to utilize. We will increase our capability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. Think granular. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We will step up our power to syndicate without reducing our ability to iterate. Project Zero has revolutionized the concept of compelling content. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to incubate. We understand that it is better to strategize intuitively than to engineer virally. If you utilize mega-virtually, you may have to reinvent transparently. Think enterprise. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to upgrade intra-intuitively. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "extensible, leading-edge". Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible infomediaries and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.