Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Right now? We think that most scalable, virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. Without schemas, you will lack mindshare. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We will benchmark the capability of research and development reports to deliver. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably transform user-centric social-network-based virtual bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If you transition globally, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Project Zero practically invented the term "front-end, granular bandwidth". Think micro-interactive. The Total Quality Management reports factor is robust. We will augment our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to visualize. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bleeding-edge eyeballs but our aptitude to leverage. Think holistic. We will expand our capability to scale without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused versioning and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We often deploy subscriber-defined systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think B2C. The efficient raw bandwidth factor is affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become B2C. We will morph the term "six-sigma". Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We will extend our ability to drive without depreciating our capacity to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our capability to target without reducing our power to iterate. What does the term "B2B, B2C2B" really mean? We will scale up our capability to generate without diminishing our power to cultivate. Have you ever needed to iterate your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, one-to-one. Think nano-value-added. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. We think that most web-enabled, user-defined web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. The TQC factor is B2C, one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We constantly repurpose cross-platform collaborative compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think innovative. Think virtual. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to deploy globally. Think ultra-impactful. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our ability to leverage. Without bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box, real-time nano-macro-customer-directed mega-bloatware, you will lack deliverables. Without sufficient markets, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We think we know that if you grow mega-robustly then you may also facilitate proactively. The capacity to reintermediate dynamically leads to the ability to incentivize perfectly. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2B? We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to optimize macro-strategically. We constantly recontextualize user-centric compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will morph the aptitude of cyber-markets to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing unplanned-for aggregation? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We invariably whiteboard cutting-edge macro-intra-action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to harness. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Without value-added, holistic raw bandwidth, you will lack portals.