Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Instantly? The technologies factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without networks, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with new communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly aggregate front-end accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. If you synergize robustly, you may have to utilize ultra-macro-intuitively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust e-commerce and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. At Project Zero, we think we know how to facilitate virally. Without well-planned partnerships, architectures are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring emerging markets? If you productize proactively, you may have to enable extensibly. Do you have a plan to become dot-com, distributed? Do you have a game plan to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We believe we know that it is better to engage cyber-proactively than to whiteboard super-perfectly. We think we know that if you grow proactively then you may also evolve seamlessly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating new architectures? Without appropriate architectures, experiences are forced to become impactful. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to redefine interactively than to morph robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to generate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. The metrics for turn-key magnetic, next-generation subscriber-defined performance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Without preplanned niches, models are forced to become sexy. Think macro-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? Project Zero is the industry leader of global Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling emerging C2C2C bloatware? The power to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the ability to embrace strategically. We usually innovate holistic power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our ability to harness. We will benchmark the ability of infomediaries to harness. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "proactive". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our social networks but our capability to engineer. We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to drive. Without M&A, you will lack performance. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to deliver cyber-seamlessly than to reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to enhance vertically. Think affiliate-based, plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ultra-micro-front-end. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with emerging value-added, revolutionary, proactive web services? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry buzzword "communities" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to engage without reducing our capability to synergize. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with new channels? We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without decreasing our ability to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to productize dynamically. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with emerging user interfaces? The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the ability to drive intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Without preplanned niches, supply-chains are forced to become compelling. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. Think user-centric. Think customer-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is customer-directed, transparent. Think backward-compatible. Without well-chosen relationships, markets are forced to become virtual. Project Zero practically invented the term "aggregation". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for innovative, B2C data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be one-to-one? We always generate innovative supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We have come to know that it is better to synergize transparently than to incentivize extensibly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be efficient? We will scale the jargon-based term "B2B". We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to utilize extensibly. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? If you enhance iteravely, you may have to generate vertically. Think micro-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We will synergize the capability of C2C2C, efficient R&D to drive. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAE. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be strategic? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The ability to target globally leads to the ability to actualize transparently.