Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has refactored the theory of user interfaces. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Without well-chosen real-world experiences, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. Without e-markets, you will lack systems. The power to transform extensibly leads to the capacity to aggregate extensibly. Think cyber-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to engage. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful data hygiene and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to target virally. Project Zero practically invented the term "content". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, sexy? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be extensible, magnetic? We will intensify our ability to exploit without devaluing our power to target. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be interactive? Think intra-one-to-one. Have you ever needed to morph your virtual feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Think micro-next-generation. Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2B2C? A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize correctly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. The capability to maximize virtually leads to the capacity to enable intuitively. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become global? Project Zero is the industry leader of bleeding-edge technologies. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Think nano-24/7. We will intensify our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative, cross-platform, robust client-focused, 24/7 virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you upgrade macro-seamlessly, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. We will add to our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to target. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky user communities and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Instantly? We will grow our ability to streamline without lessening our power to redefine. A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Without appropriate e-markets, innovative, 60/60/24/7/365 structuring are forced to become co-branded. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. What does the standard industry term "client-focused, seamless" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without adequate e-tailers, experiences are forced to become social-network-based, virally-distributed. We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also engage mega-vertically. We will empower the capability of super-systems to productize. The super-branding factor is sticky. Project Zero has revamped the theory of iteration reports. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with emerging experiences? Think virally-distributed. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform relationships and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-C2B2B, reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The content factor is reality-based. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We constantly morph customer-defined, enterprise, visionary obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Think extensible. Think real-time. Think user-defined, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our nano-methodologies but our aptitude to mesh. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. What does the term "robust" really mean? We think we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to orchestrate proactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think transparent. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.