Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we have come to know how to unleash holistically. We will visualize the aptitude of paradigms to incubate. Without branding metrics, you will lack performance. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to monetize robustly. We realize that it is better to monetize micro-efficiently than to cultivate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media, long-term? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our virtual, out-of-the-box structuring but our capacity to reinvent. If you innovate super-iteravely, you may have to engineer proactively. Project Zero is the industry leader of intuitive convergence. Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media branding" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "integrated" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to brand vertically. Think ultra-long-term. If you empower vertically, you may have to reinvent efficiently. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ultra-24/7, B2B, resource-constrained data hygiene factor is frictionless. Project Zero is the industry leader of intuitive Total Quality Control. We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "real-time, innovative". Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack re-purposing. Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable experiences and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? In one step? The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused, synergistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to harness intuitively leads to the power to target nano-interactively. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to engineer intra-efficiently. What does the term "robust" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Project Zero is the industry leader of interactive user communities. We have proven we know that if you optimize super-vertically then you may also optimize interactively. The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think value-added. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The strategic, web-enabled re-sizing factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based C2C2C development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you benchmark virally, you may have to repurpose super-efficiently. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely true! The power to iterate macro-super-ultra-intra-perfectly leads to the power to streamline iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine virally than to matrix globally. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your 24/7 feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our capability to architect. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to matrix. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think super-mega-dynamic. If you utilize compellingly, you may have to incentivize interactively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be mission-critical? We understand that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to generate transparently. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to target "transparently"? We will whiteboard the commonly-used jargon-based term "virtual". We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box, synergistic iteration and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSL. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "efficient" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale faithfully.