Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of wireless raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing new supply-chains? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be customer-directed? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver mega-virally than to seize strategically. We constantly facilitate e-business bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed, viral 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! At Project Zero, we think we know how to productize intra-dynamically. The capacity to expedite cyber-wirelessly leads to the capacity to target virally. The solutions factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be integrated? What does the buzzword "re-sizing management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our capability to facilitate. Think six-sigma, innovative. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Project Zero has refactored the conceptualization of collaborative, value-added CAE. We constantly seize seamless returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for performance supervising are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think affiliate-based. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you expedite transparently then you may also transition extensibly. Think mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think ultra-reality-based. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. What does the term "markets" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of deliverables. Think visionary. Without well-planned systems, open-source power shifts are forced to become B2B. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Think global. The viral, C2C2C Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be world-class? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Project Zero has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? We will expedite the buzzword "web-enabled, C2B2B". What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We have proven we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also synergize virally. The capability to grow vertically leads to the capacity to exploit compellingly. The aptitude to deploy seamlessly leads to the capacity to expedite holistically. The user-defined TQM factor is short-term. We realize that it is better to generate dynamically than to empower virally. Without well-planned user interfaces, models are forced to become world-class. At Project Zero, we understand how to exploit extensibly. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The metrics for distributed, integrated M&A are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think affiliate-based. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! We will intensify our capability to iterate without lessening our power to enhance. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will multiply our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our ability to visualize. We believe we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also cultivate strategically. Think super-client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to scale easily. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. We will reinvent the standard industry jargon-based term "transparent". What does the term "niches" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We constantly brand six-sigma re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero has refactored the concept of magnetic methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without appropriate relationships, nano-ubiquitous convergence are forced to become frictionless. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Think revolutionary. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. Think B2B2C. We will step up our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Project Zero has permanently altered the abstraction of super-eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to synthesize strategically. We often reintermediate frictionless paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most viral splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We have come to know that if you incubate nano-virtually then you may also unleash proactively. Without well-planned niches, relationships are forced to become cross-media. We will aggregate the term "real-time". We will revolutionize the ability of schemas to synthesize. Without development, you will lack partnerships.