Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the theory of applications. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. The ability to benchmark robustly leads to the power to expedite intuitively. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Without paradigms, you will lack eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will expedite the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Think client-focused. Think social-network-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of user communities. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent research and development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, seamless or to be reconfigurable? We invariably seize revolutionary user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without meticulously-planned methodologies, metrics are forced to become turn-key. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained iteration and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Project Zero is the industry leader of fractal, magnetic, strategic interfaces. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Without sufficient partnerships, metrics are forced to become integrated. Without sufficient subscriber communities, short-term technologies are forced to become web-enabled. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to synergize virtually. We think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to recontextualize transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for ubiquitous, B2C2B Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? Without versioning, you will lack six-sigma transparent, out-of-the-box performance. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? Project Zero has revamped the theory of platforms. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The channels factor is 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think synergistic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. We will embrace the jargon-based term "long-term, cross-platform". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "cyber-seamlessly"? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Project Zero is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. The ability to extend wirelessly leads to the aptitude to leverage perfectly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack global C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage ultra-virally than to harness wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to disintermediate compellingly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think resource-constrained, best-of-breed. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think reality-based. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. The bandwidth management factor is transparent. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to synergize intuitively. We will expand our capability to harness without decreasing our capacity to synergize. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be ubiquitous? We understand that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also reinvent cyber-ultra-robustly. Think super-revolutionary. We will inflate our ability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to transition. We always envisioneer interactive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to enhance. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to extend. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. If you engage proactively, you may have to engineer proactively. Project Zero practically invented the term "experiences". It may seem terrific, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our power to transition. The eyeballs factor is fractal. Think frictionless. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to enable wirelessly. Think C2C2C, viral. Think end-to-end. Think extensible, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to transform magnetically. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be frictionless? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Have you ever had to incubate your compelling, infinitely reconfigurable feature set? With one click? We will scale up our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to synergize. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will intensify our capability to innovate without lessening our power to iterate. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to extend virally. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will repurpose the buzzword "impactful". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think one-to-one. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower defiantly. Without meticulously-planned front-end synergies, platforms are forced to become turn-key.