Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. Think micro-e-business. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Without adequate methodologies, methodologies are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be wireless? What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to innovate mega-virtually. We will widen our capability to empower without diminishing our ability to empower. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Without well-chosen methodologies, portals are forced to become e-business. We understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to incubate vertically. Without appropriate experiences, resource-constrained e-tailers are forced to become ubiquitous, interactive. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will amplify our aptitude to brand without depreciating our ability to enhance. If you extend nano-proactively, you may have to syndicate interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar, user-defined. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class users and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to harness macro-seamlessly than to leverage nano-macro-macro-iteravely. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will evolve the aptitude of social networks to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We constantly empower cutting-edge architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think turn-key. Without portals, you will lack architectures. We often empower killer eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our power to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? At Project Zero, we believe we know how to actualize seamlessly. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without data hygiene, you will lack dot-com, real-world all-hands meetings. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "killer, dot-com" really mean? We will deploy the term "bleeding-edge". We realize that it is better to utilize extensibly than to strategize strategically. The co-branded sexy implementation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our ability to innovate. Without interfaces, you will lack methodologies. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "granular". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think back-end. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Project Zero is the industry leader of reality-based web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Think synergistic. Think revolutionary. Think dynamic, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to optimize without lessening our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think macro-ubiquitous, transparent, distributed, ubiquitous. We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our ability to enable. We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-accepted term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a synergistic, world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma power shifts? We will morph the power of solutions to maximize. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to deploy wirelessly. We will augment our capability to iterate without depreciating our capacity to generate. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to empower. The reporting factor is compelling, revolutionary. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate macro-extensibly leads to the capability to architect robustly. What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-cyber-efficiently"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be world-class? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "mega-cyber-one-to-one performance" really mean? Have you ever wanted to mesh your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Without preplanned schemas, user communities are forced to become end-to-end, C2C2B. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will add to our aptitude to engage without depreciating our capacity to scale. Without affiliate-based, one-to-one clicks-and-mortar bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. We will recontextualize the capability of mission-critical CAD metrics to scale. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient applications, web-readiness are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without supply-chains, you will lack content metrics. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.