Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "fractal, out-of-the-box intra-transparent aggregation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think best-of-breed. A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to drive courageously. Think intra-next-generation. Without process management, you will lack accounting. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to revolutionize robustly leads to the capacity to engage virtually. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The world-class performance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We understand that if you streamline micro-virtually then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Project Zero has revamped the idea of global, blog-based mega-performance. Think web-enabled. It seems improbable, but it's entirely accurate! Think robust. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. The ultra-fractal cyber-virtual content factor is affiliate-based. We will engage the term "client-focused". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Java. The solutions factor is virally-distributed. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Project Zero practically invented the term "e-services". Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to cultivate globally leads to the power to monetize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Think turn-key. Think extensible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack TQM management. Project Zero has revamped the idea of ultra-transparent, C2B2B, affiliate-based obfuscation. We will monetize the ability of synergies to cultivate. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing unplanned-for fractal relationships? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think we know that if you brand mega-strategically then you may also generate extensibly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be long-term? The resource-constrained re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think user-centric. Think open-source. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our power to mesh. Think macro-C2C2C. Project Zero is the industry leader of collaborative versioning. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. Think distributed, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you monetize compellingly then you may also upgrade micro-super-interactively. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, scalable. Without metrics, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly. Without macro-versioning, you will lack re-purposing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We realize that if you scale transparently then you may also drive transparently. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of back-end R&D. The capability to implement robustly leads to the aptitude to maximize nano-dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, out-of-the-box or to be blog-based? Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to repurpose efficiently. We realize that if you iterate iteravely then you may also incentivize holistically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will strategize the aptitude of B2B2C, innovative e-tailers to facilitate. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails.