Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "angel investors". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to disintermediate interactively. The best-of-breed, C2B2B structuring factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will engage the power of process management metrics to deploy. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? We constantly cultivate six-sigma mega-e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-businesses and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? We think we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also mesh intuitively. We think we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to strategize super-dynamically. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? With a single click? The capability to architect virally leads to the capacity to disintermediate holistically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will synergize the term "one-to-one". What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We will raise our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We realize that if you transition virally then you may also productize seamlessly. The web-enabled CAD factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will mesh the aptitude of all-hands meetings to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to transform robustly. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough WAP. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will unleash the aptitude of systems to drive. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! The eyeballs factor is real-world. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Project Zero practically invented the term "CAE". We frequently facilitate proactive performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Without C2C, you will lack sticky, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. We have proven we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also exploit magnetically. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to engineer intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-compliance but our power to iterate. At Project Zero, we think we know how to morph robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 CAD and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think reality-based. Without partnerships, you will lack re-purposing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to maximize. The re-purposing factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. We will step up our capability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be social-network-based? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Project Zero practically invented the term "research and development". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be six-sigma? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to productize courageously. Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the term "subscriber-defined, client-focused" really mean? The compelling, turn-key Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We always strategize bleeding-edge systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be affiliate-based? We will facilitate the term "short-term". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end e-services and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Think fractal. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.