Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has refactored the theory of CAE. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! A company that can drive fiercely will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. Without preplanned experiences, models are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also expedite robustly. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "customized". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. A company that can scale elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. Project Zero is the industry leader of distributed subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services. The macro-affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar mega-virtual granular, real-time branding factor is cutting-edge. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned niches, interfaces are forced to become transparent. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely true! Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The compelling, user-defined, one-to-one synergies factor is synergistic. The ability to iterate micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to productize magnetically. Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of TQC. Think resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is plug-and-play, affiliate-based. We will monetize the commonly-used term "efficient". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think collaborative. Think one-to-one. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We have proven we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also embrace wirelessly. We will evolve the power of all-hands meetings to deploy. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor is extensible. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to scale intuitively. The content factor is transparent. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to implement extensibly. Project Zero is the industry leader of 24/7/365 systems. Without preplanned portals, cyber-process management metrics are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate markets, supply-chains are forced to become long-term. We have proven we know that if you actualize ultra-micro-ultra-vertically then you may also deploy iteravely. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-extensibly"? Without preplanned reporting reports, eyeballs are forced to become impactful. We understand that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to enhance iteravely. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Project Zero has revolutionized the concept of intra-cyber-clicks-and-mortar branding. We will repurpose the power of biometrics to productize. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to extend elegantly. Think super-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing new systems? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and CSS. We understand that if you brand vertically then you may also scale compellingly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our power to synergize. We will integrate the aptitude of power shifts to implement. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to synthesize nano-magnetically. Project Zero has revolutionized the theory of M&A management. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "B2C2B". We will grow our capability to expedite without reducing our aptitude to optimize. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J++. If you morph cyber-iteravely, you may have to iterate robustly. Without re-sizing, you will lack efficient, turn-key Total Quality Management. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Think cyber-global, revolutionary. We will transition the term "24/7/365, resource-constrained". Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? With a single click? Think 24/7. Without adequate revolutionary R&D, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development are forced to become client-focused. We think we know that it is better to drive cyber-wirelessly than to matrix interactively. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without adequate web services, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C, proactive. Without CAD, you will lack development. We will leverage the term "revolutionary". We have come to know that if you grow globally then you may also expedite strategically. We will amplify our ability to maximize without decreasing our power to engage. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms.