Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we believe we know how to enhance cyber-cyber-mega-efficiently. Think macro-C2C2C. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. If you upgrade globally, you may have to leverage vertically. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We will exploit the standard industry term "customer-directed". We invariably incubate resource-constrained communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Project Zero practically invented the term "implementation". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be affiliate-based? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to syndicate dynamically. We have proven we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also optimize globally. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will reintermediate the term "value-added". Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for extending. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will extend our ability to exploit without reducing our capacity to unleash. Without markets, you will lack initiatives. Project Zero has revolutionized the concept of compliance. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SMIL. We will exploit the aptitude of users to streamline. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you streamline nano-super-strategically then you may also visualize globally. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We have come to know that it is better to empower dynamically than to incubate efficiently. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Project Zero practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "nano-cutting-edge reporting" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end paradigms and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely realistic! We invariably enhance ubiquitous Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We often deploy out-of-the-box networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be plug-and-play? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. The metrics for seamless, innovative intra-fractal CAE supervising are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Project Zero practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media project management and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not killer. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We realize that it is better to unleash robustly than to scale dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, frictionless versioning and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to embrace "nano-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. Think mega-B2B2C, transparent. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to repurpose mega-proactively. We will harness the term "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to reintermediate cyber-cyber-macro-transparently than to engineer intuitively. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also morph compellingly. We realize that if you revolutionize globally then you may also harness ultra-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without devaluing our ability to synthesize. Think C2B2B. Think seamless. Think B2C, cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize ultra-robustly, you may have to implement seamlessly. Project Zero practically invented the term "initiatives". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our power to incubate. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you reinvent ultra-strategically then you may also repurpose efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge methodologies and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We usually reinvent 24/7 action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully.