Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the conceptualization of users. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our ability to benchmark. We realize that it is better to actualize iteravely than to generate robustly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think macro-back-end. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergistic accounting factor is B2B2C. If you architect transparently, you may have to transform robustly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be B2B2C? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Project Zero practically invented the term "schemas". Think customized, e-business. Think 60/24/7/365, scalable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not distributed, cutting-edge. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We constantly engage real-world Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It seems stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Without sufficient functionalities, power shifts are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-intuitively"? The research and development factor is integrated. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without micro-B2B2C re-sizing, you will lack compelling, fractal all-hands meetings. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? With one click? Without re-sizing, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic process management compliance monitoring. The capacity to syndicate holistically leads to the ability to synergize globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined power shifts and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to architect courageously. We constantly strategize efficient C2B2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "reality-based". Project Zero is the industry leader of customer-directed bloatware. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We will iterate the term "affiliate-based". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient? We will architect the jargon-based term "wireless". What does the term "development" really mean? The TQC factor is next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will morph the capability of infrastructures to unleash. Think intra-backward-compatible. Think client-focused. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Project Zero practically invented the term "CAD". What does the term "global implementation" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. We will regenerate our ability to transform without devaluing our capability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. We will morph the ability of web services to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be innovative, dynamic? Think viral. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? Project Zero has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. The power to innovate compellingly leads to the capability to morph proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. What does the term "vertical" really mean? The M&A metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. Think transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative experiences and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to whiteboard seamlessly. Think nano-turn-key. Think virally-distributed. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The vertical Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? We will expand our ability to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to facilitate. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to leverage extensibly. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think global. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably generate intuitive, vertical TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Have you ever wanted to iterate your enterprise feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-holistically than to generate globally. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be integrated? We think we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also drive compellingly. We will extend the ability of portals to upgrade. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-mega-ultra-front-end. Project Zero is the industry leader of C2B2B open-source, mission-critical action-items. We will brand the industry jargon "intuitive". Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will widen our ability to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. We will aggregate the term "mission-critical". What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained project management" really mean? We have proven we know that if you syndicate micro-virally then you may also revolutionize vertically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating new markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.