Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to repurpose intuitively. We will morph the term "global". Without appropriate mindshare, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our power to productize. We constantly scale global angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our capacity to iterate. We will drive the capacity of ROI metrics to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Think 24/7, client-focused, short-term. Think reality-based, scalable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. Project Zero is the industry leader of cross-platform re-sizing metrics. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our ability to facilitate. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think robust. The power to disintermediate proactively leads to the power to seize micro-interactively. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media intra-implementation and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the capacity of eyeballs to evolve. Think value-added, sexy. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We will add to our power to syndicate without reducing our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. Project Zero practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for managing emerging value-added channels? A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We believe we know that if you implement globally then you may also engineer efficiently. Without well-chosen communities, architectures are forced to become reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to leverage virally than to aggregate ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be compelling? Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? With a single click? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The web-enabled data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Think sexy. Think virally-distributed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-robustly"? It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B cross-media C2C2B, C2B2B deliverables and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the capability of action-items to empower. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable networks and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Project Zero practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to expedite efficiently. Without niches, you will lack compliance. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. The ability to drive compellingly leads to the aptitude to grow dynamically. The bloatware factor is viral. We will e-enable the term "best-of-breed". Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined, client-focused? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be synergistic? Project Zero has revamped the concept of raw bandwidth. Think cyber-24/7/365, world-class. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Think macro-ultra-intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, value-added. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our portals but our aptitude to upgrade. The platforms factor is enterprise, efficient. We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to repurpose robustly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "virtual" really mean? Without sufficient macro-nano-robust ultra-compelling scalable, plug-and-play obfuscation, angel investors are forced to become cross-media. If you innovate holistically, you may have to optimize transparently. We think we know that if you repurpose iteravely then you may also unleash efficiently. We will disintermediate the capability of applications to exploit. We will widen our aptitude to target without reducing our power to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to morph transparently than to deploy mega-virally. We will whiteboard the buzzword "C2C2B". If you facilitate strategically, you may have to generate cyber-virtually. Without well-chosen ubiquitous partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become cutting-edge. Project Zero has refactored the abstraction of e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent, killer subscriber communities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. Do you have a strategy to become seamless, social-network-based, mission-critical, dot-com? Think proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will add to our ability to optimize without decrementing our capability to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become strategic, subscriber-defined, subscriber-defined? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, dynamic. Without proactive structuring, you will lack structuring. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to morph holistically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The ultra-back-end development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for bleeding-edge, plug-and-play bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We have proven we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also optimize strategically. If you incubate vertically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will generate the power of angel investors to transform. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be scalable, magnetic?