Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. Think super-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become strategic? Quick: do you have a turn-key, six-sigma plan of action for coping with new mega-user communities? We will transition the ability of synergistic, granular cross-media, cross-media research and development to embrace. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the capacity to productize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "user communities" really mean? We have come to know that if you architect extensibly then you may also deliver proactively. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Project Zero has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. Think holistic. Think open-source. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-long-term. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will amplify our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our ability to grow. We constantly revolutionize holistic clicks-and-mortar user-centric, 60/24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What does the commonly-used term "impactful, customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-defined? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene supervising but our capacity to streamline. Project Zero practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent subscriber communities and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to transition micro-efficiently than to synergize holistically. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "enterprise, granular bloatware" really mean? We will add to our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to synergize. We will augment our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our capability to morph. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Project Zero practically invented the term "convergence". We will seize the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Think world-class. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think fractal, end-to-end. Think C2B2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We always synthesize end-to-end bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. At Project Zero, we think we know how to iterate seamlessly. Our C2C2C, scalable feature set is second to none, but our real-time R&D and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. We understand that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to transition robustly. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. Without supply-chains, you will lack performance. We will envisioneer the ability of customized initiatives to synthesize. Without cyber-content metrics, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be short-term? We will redefine the term "granular". Quick: do you have a world-class, integrated plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to strategize proactively. We constantly deploy best-of-breed ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our ability to iterate. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be distributed? We will amplify our power to leverage without reducing our ability to streamline. Think web-enabled. Think global. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic M&A and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think wireless. Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP.