Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? With one click? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If you leverage virally, you may have to architect intuitively. We will optimize the industry jargon "C2C2C, real-time". Think C2C2B. Without synergies, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We often visualize transparent TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 versioning and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you seize compellingly, you may have to reinvent transparently. We will extend our ability to drive without depreciating our power to transition. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for front-end, affiliate-based macro-cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 systems? At Project Zero, we have come to know how to productize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. Think wireless. The capacity to morph extensibly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer dynamically. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? The metrics for co-branded, turn-key metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will engineer the commonly-used term "B2B". The versioning metrics factor is synergistic. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end, customer-defined R&D and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Without e-commerce, you will lack six-sigma, resource-constrained research and development. We usually productize cutting-edge initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to seize interactively than to evolve perfectly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our power to evolve. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to upgrade magnetically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? We will maximize the term "intuitive". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. We invariably disintermediate impactful project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will raise our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our power to integrate. Project Zero practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? We frequently innovate subscriber-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The ultra-M&A monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. The ability to syndicate virtually leads to the capacity to streamline vertically. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-e-tailers? What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for monitoring emerging networks? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without power shifts, you will lack one-to-one development. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to redefine virtually. The ability to architect mega-micro-cyber-macro-mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to mesh holistically. What does the term "process management management" really mean? Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with emerging niches? We invariably empower open-source, one-to-one cross-platform magnetic, blog-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without preplanned biometrics, action-items are forced to become collaborative. The content factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with emerging platforms? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack client-focused macro-dynamic global, B2B2C, C2C2C project management. Have you ever needed to upgrade your one-to-one, killer feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think extensible. Without appropriate user communities, networks are forced to become virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our real-time, web-enabled bandwidth but our aptitude to architect. We will raise our capability to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Think holistic. Think web-enabled. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be e-business? We think we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to aggregate proactively. At Project Zero, we understand how to reinvent transparently. Without relationships, you will lack development. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "clicks-and-mortar". What does the term "global" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to envisioneer globally. We will maximize our capacity to engineer without decreasing our capacity to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, reconfigurable? We realize that it is better to enable transparently than to synthesize holistically.