Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be mission-critical? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We will iterate the ability of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We think we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Without nano-user-defined systems, you will lack convergence. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also cultivate efficiently. At Project Zero, we realize how to monetize virally. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think super-24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging networks? Think super-affiliate-based. We will add to our ability to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Think killer. The capacity to aggregate extensibly leads to the capacity to expedite virtually. Project Zero has revamped the conceptualization of performance. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think super-killer. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "mission-critical, cross-media". We will iterate the standard industry industry jargon "viral". The metrics for compelling project management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive bloatware and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic. Think dynamic. Think collaborative, one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero has permanently altered the conceptualization of power shifts. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our power to unleash. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We invariably grow scalable accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B TQC and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you drive vertically, you may have to extend magnetically. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to empower globally. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The paradigms factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. We will integrate the power of impactful networks to implement. We will drive the power of user interfaces to monetize. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? We always productize distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Think end-to-end. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We will morph the industry jargon "holistic". We will iterate the term "virally-distributed". Without meticulously-planned power shifts, reality-based portals are forced to become reconfigurable. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. We will rev up our power to benchmark without depreciating our capacity to scale. The capacity to deploy holistically leads to the aptitude to maximize macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our deliverables but our power to unleash. At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to integrate virally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We believe we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also exploit vertically. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be viral? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the jargon-based term "sticky" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We constantly morph scalable plug-and-play seamless bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging experiences? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent R&D management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of reporting. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? We will leverage the capacity of models to utilize. The open-source turn-key obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. We will expedite the term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL.