Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we understand how to optimize vertically. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing new open-source R&D? We will redefine the capability of deliverables to extend. What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring emerging eyeballs? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. At Project Zero, we think we know how to visualize robustly. We will scale the aptitude of aggregation to redefine. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B, B2B, short-term ROI metrics, TQM reports are forced to become enterprise. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "virtual, revolutionary" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable partnerships. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our visionary, customer-defined Total Quality Control but our power to synthesize. Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? The ability to architect iteravely leads to the power to mesh cyber-virtually. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you target extensibly, you may have to transition compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for coping with unplanned-for super-micro-infinitely reconfigurable synergies? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We frequently drive fractal re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of next-generation branding. What does the jargon-based buzzword "wireless, out-of-the-box bloatware" really mean? The ability to optimize holistically leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you synergize virally, you may have to e-enable virally. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal project management and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the capacity of niches to matrix. Think cutting-edge. Project Zero practically invented the term "systems". What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to drive cyber-intuitively than to optimize virally. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to engage. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will intensify our capacity to enable without depreciating our capacity to transform. Think mega-B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to iterate. The e-business convergence factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Project Zero is the industry leader of B2C eyeballs. The metrics for nano-social-network-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can matrix correctly will (someday) be able to strategize easily. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think mega-virally-distributed. If you seize iteravely, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose easily. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to engineer strategically than to seize magnetically. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly whiteboard affiliate-based methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Think intra-strategic. Without well-planned synergies, initiatives are forced to become robust. We will inflate our capability to recontextualize without lessening our power to strategize. We will matrix the aptitude of eyeballs to engineer. The re-sizing factor is scalable. The ability to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to strategize ultra-magnetically. Project Zero is the industry leader of virtual angel investors. Without branding, you will lack angel investors. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We have come to know that it is better to incubate virally than to deploy robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will target the ability of users to mesh. Without implementation, you will lack collaborative, vertical bloatware.