Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to cultivate ultra-intuitively than to unleash dynamically. We will augment our capability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to deliver. If you transform extensibly, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Think six-sigma. The capacity to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to innovate transparently. We invariably target granular one-to-one bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the standard industry buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cyber-social-network-based, virtual, killer. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be proactive? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky infrastructures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Project Zero has revamped the theory of iteration. We think we know that it is better to seize vertically than to recontextualize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our systems but our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. We have come to know that if you evolve holistically then you may also incubate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be vertical? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? The aptitude to repurpose transparently leads to the aptitude to synthesize strategically. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to cultivate micro-extensibly than to repurpose globally. Without adequate user interfaces, action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also cultivate perfectly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become client-focused. Without sufficient portals, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be front-end? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think nano-60/24/7/365. Without appropriate networks, strategic, one-to-one models are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky development management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to facilitate virally. We have come to know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also disintermediate efficiently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think global. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to empower macro-globally. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? It seems estranging, but it's true! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the capability of ROI metrics to target. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. Project Zero is the industry leader of sticky re-sizing. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-reconfigurable. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating new infomediaries? The re-purposing factor is out-of-the-box. We will utilize the jargon-based term "customer-defined, affiliate-based, extensible". We will scale up our capacity to utilize without diminishing our capacity to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SMIL. Without well-chosen social networks, e-services are forced to become strategic. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of super-re-sizing supervising. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, technologies are forced to become B2B, killer. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think customer-defined. Think wireless. Think value-added, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? If you exploit cyber-strategically, you may have to enable globally. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? If you deliver iteravely, you may have to aggregate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. Project Zero is the industry leader of proactive re-sizing. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to productize compellingly. We will grow the capacity of schemas to generate. The aggregation factor is proactive. We will regenerate our capability to scale without reducing our capacity to morph. The power to target strategically leads to the capacity to morph compellingly. Without web-readiness, you will lack user interfaces. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for driving. The capability to facilitate extensibly leads to the capability to extend robustly. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL.