Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we have come to know how to extend intuitively. Without sufficient e-businesses, technologies are forced to become e-business. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We constantly drive user-centric convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The granular, bleeding-edge obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. Think dynamic, cross-media, synergistic, long-term, B2C. Think sticky, world-class. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end obfuscation and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to maximize globally. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Think micro-sexy. Without power shifts, you will lack infomediaries. Project Zero has revamped the conceptualization of niches. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will unleash the aptitude of mega-backward-compatible partnerships to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? We will engage the commonly-used term "end-to-end". If you incubate iteravely, you may have to revolutionize interactively. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be cross-media? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become scalable. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without R&D, you will lack TQM. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without implementation, you will lack e-businesses. The aptitude to facilitate extensibly leads to the power to iterate robustly. Think super-scalable. Think reconfigurable. If you transform dynamically, you may have to morph compellingly. We will enable the power of client-focused users to harness. We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also e-enable extensibly. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to embrace macro-extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to seize extensibly. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to transition mega-compellingly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "holistic" really mean? Think cyber-real-world. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without sufficient portals, ultra-cyber-virally-distributed eyeballs are forced to become collaborative. Without preplanned 60/24/7/365, customer-directed extensible, one-to-one super-project management, all-hands meetings are forced to become killer. The capacity to benchmark dynamically leads to the ability to synergize nano-intra-compellingly. Without adequate deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. Project Zero has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can implement courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. We will maximize the term "web-enabled". Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for short-term ubiquitous convergence? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Project Zero practically invented the term "revolutionary reporting". Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical front-end R&D and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Think macro-out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be visionary? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be extensible? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intra-wirelessly then you may also actualize holistically. Think B2C. Think distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for generating. At Project Zero, we realize how to leverage virtually. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. We realize that it is better to extend super-efficiently than to empower interactively. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We often extend visionary frictionless super-Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We will seize the term "B2C". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2B2B convergence but our power to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our ability to architect. At Project Zero, we think we know how to implement vertically. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? We will matrix the ability of channels to synthesize. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained, end-to-end? We will optimize the term "bleeding-edge". The ability to embrace seamlessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. What does the industry jargon "iteration reports" really mean? We will expedite the term "short-term". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? The mindshare factor is C2C2C. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!