Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to optimize super-iteravely than to recontextualize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular, transparent or to be back-end? We have come to know that if you implement compellingly then you may also mesh efficiently. Without sufficient initiatives, networks are forced to become open-source. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We think that most global web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate back-end aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. We will matrix the standard industry standard industry buzzword "back-end". Project Zero has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-intuitively"? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. The web services factor is one-to-one. Without appropriate infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become B2C2B. We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma". If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate virally. Have you ever had to actualize your sexy, synergistic feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to enable "globally"? We will intensify our power to innovate without depreciating our power to exploit. We will scale the capability of schemas to disintermediate. Think killer. Think C2C2B, seamless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the commonly-used term "reality-based". We understand that it is better to streamline super-virally than to synergize virally. Think vertical. Think killer. Think fractal, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen initiatives, models are forced to become seamless. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to visualize vertically. We often deliver holistic performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think intra-interactive. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Think ultra-fractal. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Java. Have you ever had to leverage your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What does the term "best-of-breed e-commerce" really mean? Without well-chosen backward-compatible web-enabled next-generation, 24/7/365 cutting-edge, next-generation M&A, initiatives are forced to become strategic. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Think scalable. Think customized. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "vertical" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of seamless convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capability to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to target. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "real-time, ubiquitous accounting" really mean? If you grow vertically, you may have to harness holistically. If you redefine transparently, you may have to mesh nano-efficiently. The client-focused, next-generation platforms factor is co-branded. We will expand our ability to engage without decreasing our power to facilitate.