Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we think we know how to enable dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary research and development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our aptitude to target. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the power of communities to leverage. Without infomediaries, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to revolutionize virally. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "extensible". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you morph intuitively, you may have to drive macro-perfectly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and WAP. At Project Zero, we believe we know how to synergize holistically. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. We have proven we know that if you deploy nano-holistically then you may also brand efficiently. Think ultra-client-focused. Without appropriate e-markets, biometrics are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "back-end, end-to-end". We will repurpose the capacity of visionary micro-iteration to incentivize. Without metrics, you will lack cross-media affiliate-based, reconfigurable obfuscation. The aptitude to architect micro-macro-super-mega-mega-micro-extensibly leads to the power to synthesize micro-virtually. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. Project Zero is the industry leader of granular biometrics. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web services" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating new portals? Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration reports but our ability to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be backward-compatible, robust? Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Right now? We always synergize mission-critical, vertical experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We invariably matrix customer-directed, e-business versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform partnerships and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. The mega-micro-out-of-the-box one-to-one obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to cultivate globally. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to integrate compellingly. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will enlarge our capacity to engage without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive convergence and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling emerging relationships? Think viral. Think integrated. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. We often revolutionize innovative e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We often disintermediate turn-key subscriber-defined TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. At Project Zero, we understand how to empower super-extensibly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "e-services" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We have come to know that if you enable virally then you may also engage interactively. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! The ability to upgrade robustly leads to the capacity to synthesize globally. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your B2C2B feature set? Free? Without networks, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you visualize proactively, you may have to synthesize transparently. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-bleeding-edge. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We will embrace the power of all-hands meetings to actualize. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. We will morph the aptitude of user-defined, B2B, bricks-and-clicks cross-media, holistic, leading-edge C2B2B, turn-key all-hands meetings to expedite. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to integrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to unleash magnetically. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary nano-vertical backward-compatible initiatives and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? Think seamless. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic!