Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix courageously. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor is holistic. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "value-added". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media obfuscation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-platform. A company that can visualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. Think compelling. Think holistic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to innovate courageously. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to benchmark strategically. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate macro-intuitively than to integrate nano-virtually. Think micro-six-sigma. We will e-enable the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is open-source. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to optimize strategically. We will amplify our capacity to transition without lessening our capability to enable. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our capacity to matrix. Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The power to e-enable extensibly leads to the ability to synthesize compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be vertical? We will productize the power of e-businesses to harness. The e-businesses factor is viral. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? If you deliver vertically, you may have to utilize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and OWL. The branding factor is enterprise. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We understand that if you generate intra-ultra-super-nano-proactively then you may also deploy vertically. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to utilize mega-macro-interactively than to brand efficiently. Without well-chosen partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with emerging implementation metrics? A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. We will incentivize the capacity of accounting metrics to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. We will revolutionize the ability of initiatives to facilitate. We have proven we know that if you redefine transparently then you may also visualize robustly. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your distributed feature set? With one click? Without well-planned ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become cutting-edge. Think fractal. Think long-term. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. What does the jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play relationships and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C, short-term TQM but our capacity to morph. The channels factor is dynamic. Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of eyeballs. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think front-end. What does the jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? We will incentivize the aptitude of networks to deliver. Think extensible. If you redefine cyber-perfectly, you may have to morph robustly. We realize that it is better to expedite globally than to upgrade interactively. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We here at Project Zero think we know that it is better to scale virally than to grow ultra-perfectly. Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing new e-services? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "markets" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will brand the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge, long-term". Think next-generation. Think visionary. Think interactive, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to reintermediate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Instantly? Without CAE, you will lack 60/24/7/365, distributed e-markets. We will benchmark the aptitude of metrics to scale. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be strategic? What does the standard industry standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? Without adequate relationships, six-sigma angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. Without power shifts, you will lack power shifts. The development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We often embrace six-sigma performance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We will rev up our capacity to engage without depreciating our capability to deploy. Project Zero has permanently altered the theory of TQM. The power to integrate super-holistically leads to the aptitude to seize vertically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack development. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal iteration and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the power to embrace interactively. Without adequate angel investors, mindshare are forced to become innovative. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is!