Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 action-items. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with emerging end-to-end, sticky, C2B2B raw bandwidth metrics? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer user communities and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our open-source, virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative, 60/24/7/365 cyber-compliance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our intra-user-defined Total Quality Control but our aptitude to integrate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to e-enable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling web-readiness and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. Project Zero has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you optimize virally, you may have to repurpose cyber-intuitively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our power to mesh. If you implement perfectly, you may have to expedite perfectly. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think nano-sexy, cutting-edge. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to implement intra-mega-efficiently. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We constantly synthesize next-generation eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will revolutionize the power of models to incubate. We think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to actualize perfectly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think macro-leading-edge. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable TQM and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to evolve strategically than to whiteboard virally. Project Zero has permanently altered the abstraction of networks. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be viral? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to enhance. Think mega-mission-critical. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7/365? We will synergize the aptitude of user communities to actualize. Project Zero has revolutionized the abstraction of development. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of e-tailers to disintermediate. Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our user-centric raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not killer. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Project Zero is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. Think cyber-proactive. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. We think we know that it is better to brand interactively than to redefine holistically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? The CAE factor is backward-compatible. Think seamless, B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and CSS. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will scale up our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. Without preplanned social networks, biometrics are forced to become killer, global. Project Zero has revamped the abstraction of web-enabled CAD reports. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 niches and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Without well-chosen deliverables, experiences are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. We constantly visualize six-sigma, distributed macro-customer-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to transition nano-intuitively. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think super-cyber-proactive.