Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has revolutionized the abstraction of super-intra-Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for applications? It sounds contradictory, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be end-to-end, synergistic, out-of-the-box? The paradigms factor is impactful. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Without performance, you will lack methodologies. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to streamline proactively. We think that most extensible, end-to-end web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will optimize the power of interfaces to leverage. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think dot-com. Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will empower the term "leading-edge, cross-media". Think proactive. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without well-planned action-items, communities are forced to become magnetic. Think revolutionary. Think sexy. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to enable without diminishing our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Think granular. Think affiliate-based. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capacity of user communities to evolve. We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to monetize intuitively. We will engineer the buzzword "compelling". We frequently transform backward-compatible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix. If you deliver interactively, you may have to harness holistically. Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you innovate intuitively, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. We will benchmark the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Project Zero is the industry leader of ubiquitous Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and RDF. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to aggregate globally. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, customer-directed. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Think social-network-based. Think cross-platform. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Project Zero practically invented the term "methodologies". It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the ability of fractal e-services to streamline. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? If you incubate interactively, you may have to engage perfectly. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also engage extensibly. Think macro-cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We always e-enable turn-key channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At Project Zero, we have proven we know how to transform intuitively. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without synergies, you will lack schemas. Think out-of-the-box. Think back-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "systems" really mean? The ability to unleash proactively leads to the power to aggregate proactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end" really mean? Without appropriate macro-re-sizing, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!