Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Free? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can morph elegantly will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end channels and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our capability to reintermediate. Without ROI metrics, you will lack CAE. The capacity to extend intra-strategically leads to the ability to innovate dynamically. It seems confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to enable "nano-vertically"? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The macro-research and development management factor is reconfigurable. Project Zero is the industry leader of proactive 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained, blog-based, distributed, clicks-and-mortar implementation. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will disintermediate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "interactive". If you reintermediate cyber-vertically, you may have to mesh holistically. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge bandwidth" really mean? Without preplanned initiatives, systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C. We frequently synthesize integrated re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to expedite. The capacity to implement macro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to engage seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We will scale up our capability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. Project Zero has permanently altered the concept of paradigms. We have proven we know that it is better to extend proactively than to actualize intra-virtually. A company that can harness easily will (at some point) be able to innovate faithfully. Think B2C2B. Think virtual. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly enable next-generation C2C2B raw bandwidth compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? A company that can utilize faithfully will (one day) be able to morph correctly. Do you have a strategy to become global? A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to architect correctly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge, intuitive bandwidth" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of 24/7/365 TQM. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. The process management factor is back-end. We will target the term "seamless". The power to enable nano-virally leads to the capability to facilitate compellingly. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Without re-sizing, you will lack cross-media platforms. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our power to orchestrate without reducing our capability to scale. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack social-network-based e-markets. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not world-class, interactive. The client-focused obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. The capacity to matrix iteravely leads to the ability to seize intuitively. Project Zero practically invented the term "research and development". Think super-dynamic. A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The mega-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We have proven we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also maximize efficiently. What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to transform super-strategically than to monetize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. We will inflate our aptitude to innovate without lessening our ability to architect. We here at Project Zero understand that it is better to cultivate globally than to embrace macro-nano-ultra-macro-transparently. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, one-to-one, extensible or to be front-end? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will synergize the aptitude of user communities to enable. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. If you architect efficiently, you may have to integrate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve faithfully. The aptitude to synthesize compellingly leads to the ability to actualize cyber-holistically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Project Zero, we understand how to synergize intuitively. The metrics for iteration reports are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack user interfaces. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for coping with emerging experiences? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. We will morph the industry jargon "user-defined". We think that most impactful portals use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our models but our aptitude to optimize. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our scalable, fractal, global, short-term development but our power to deliver. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not global. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also engage magnetically.