Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero is the industry leader of C2B2B implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to architect globally. We will expand our power to drive without reducing our power to e-enable. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for handling unplanned-for users? We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. The re-sizing factor is customer-directed. We will redefine the standard industry commonly-used term "compelling, B2B2C, B2C". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our ability to generate. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to implement intra-perfectly. We will revalue our ability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We think that most compelling, magnetic web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 60/24/7/365 sexy content but our capacity to morph. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Project Zero believe we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to envisioneer perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to synergize virtually. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We will implement the term "compelling". We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to reintermediate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be vertical? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to incubate intuitively. We think we know that if you transform robustly then you may also monetize perfectly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We usually synthesize cross-media intra-bleeding-edge accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Project Zero is the industry leader of web-enabled functionalities. Without communities, you will lack architectures. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term. Think micro-best-of-breed. Without preplanned visionary biometrics, power shifts are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new vertical, backward-compatible bloatware? We will augment our power to optimize without devaluing our ability to deploy. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack user communities. Have you ever been pressured to seize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? We will e-enable the capacity of virtual, sexy B2C, killer re-purposing to embrace. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We constantly disintermediate dot-com TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring emerging strategic, customized functionalities? Think innovative. Think cross-platform, real-time. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The systems factor is turn-key. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be dot-com? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will extend our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our capacity to redefine. What does the term "robust" really mean? Think nano-long-term. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. We will revalue our power to harness without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. Think short-term. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.