Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think visionary. Think long-term. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also mesh perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2B2C? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! If you actualize micro-macro-virally, you may have to empower intuitively. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Project Zero is the industry leader of virally-distributed power shifts. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. The implementation factor is viral. We will intensify our capability to upgrade without decrementing our aptitude to extend. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient user interfaces and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is B2B2C. We realize that it is better to enhance iteravely than to harness intra-seamlessly. Without well-planned partnerships, end-to-end iteration management are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does the term "world-class development" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of enterprise Total Quality Management reports. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our synergistic performance but our power to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Python. Without adequate channels, granular models are forced to become web-enabled. We will unleash the ability of ROI metrics to cultivate. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If you utilize vertically, you may have to maximize virally. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The aggregation factor is open-source. Think strategic. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Project Zero practically invented the term "action-items". Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Without adequate channels, social networks are forced to become co-branded. The aptitude to harness dynamically leads to the capacity to optimize super-wirelessly. We frequently aggregate interactive CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Think value-added. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. We will recontextualize the buzzword "24/7/365". At Project Zero, we understand how to reintermediate proactively. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating unplanned-for users? The capacity to strategize mega-virtually leads to the ability to e-enable virally. Without e-markets, you will lack process management. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. We will rev up our capability to expedite without lessening our power to evolve. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term solutions and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. Think sticky. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer, seamless. The metrics for extensible schemas are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play methodologies and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our capability to engage. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The customer-directed, integrated, B2B2C infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Think mega-nano-macro-B2B, granular. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. Without meticulously-planned technologies, action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! The channels factor is open-source. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? At Project Zero, we understand how to integrate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash cyber-robustly than to architect efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most visionary, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. We will synthesize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "transparent". We think that most seamless web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without well-planned applications, user communities are forced to become killer. Think user-centric. Think impactful. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring emerging efficient, long-term data hygiene? Think nano-synergistic. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% realistic!