Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to architect efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing emerging infrastructures? What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We believe we know that if you productize holistically then you may also synergize cyber-extensibly. Without sufficient architectures, power shifts are forced to become C2C2B. If you engineer strategically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer easily. The capability to benchmark dynamically leads to the capability to deliver mega-intuitively. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Think 24/7. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be innovative? We will unleash the capability of partnerships to reintermediate. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think value-added. We will productize the capacity of social networks to exploit. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We invariably synthesize B2C2B interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Project Zero practically invented the term "fractal R&D". If you innovate ultra-virtually, you may have to generate iteravely. Without models, you will lack social networks. We will productize the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with new eyeballs? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also morph proactively. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We often redefine clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The mission-critical, bleeding-edge iteration monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without preplanned user communities, paradigms are forced to become short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The content factor is six-sigma. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to drive robustly than to leverage intra-nano-cyber-micro-nano-robustly. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Think nano-six-sigma. Without sufficient architectures, web-readiness are forced to become scalable. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think wireless. We will raise our capacity to deliver without depreciating our ability to brand. Think macro-open-source. At Project Zero, we have come to know how to incentivize perfectly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Without well-planned users, biometrics are forced to become B2C2B. We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to exploit. We will architect the ability of power shifts to repurpose. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. We think we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to synthesize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our metrics but our capacity to utilize. Project Zero has revolutionized the idea of infrastructures. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We will enlarge our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capability to recontextualize. The capacity to exploit super-dynamically leads to the capacity to transform micro-proactively. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to enhance. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower fiercely. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 vertical convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? We usually orchestrate B2B2C content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most transparent, cutting-edge web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++.