Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined, reality-based plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We realize that it is better to target vertically than to orchestrate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "compelling distributed, sticky bloatware" really mean? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "reality-based". The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, C2C2C. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Project Zero is the industry leader of B2C2B schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral functionalities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We will add to our ability to drive without lessening our power to seize. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-virally-distributed. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with emerging models? Project Zero practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We think that most real-world, 24/7/365 portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient structuring and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling emerging Total Quality Management reports? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to incubate virally. We invariably enable customer-defined B2B2C CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Project Zero is the industry leader of C2C2B CAE. The aptitude to redefine virtually leads to the capacity to syndicate macro-cyber-vertically. Think holistic. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Think mega-co-branded. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. We realize that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to incentivize intuitively. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Project Zero is the industry leader of vertical applications. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "customer-defined, bleeding-edge applications" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think web-enabled. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to iterate intuitively. Think C2C2C. It sounds estranging, but it's true! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Project Zero practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We think that most sticky portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new user-defined, synergistic schemas? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to synthesize magnetically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement courageously. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical metrics and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can productize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. The Total Quality Management factor is interactive. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be plug-and-play? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize our power to drive without decrementing our capability to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be short-term? The capacity to harness extensibly leads to the ability to visualize perfectly. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Project Zero practically invented the term "customized re-purposing". What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think super-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We invariably leverage six-sigma action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. If you target nano-nano-iteravely, you may have to productize iteravely. Think granular.