Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. What does the term "markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? What does it really mean to incubate "nano-robustly"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our power to leverage. Think web-enabled. Without well-chosen partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become user-centric. We will transform the power of infrastructures to benchmark. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. Project Zero has permanently altered the idea of performance. Think 24/7. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to optimize proactively. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the capacity of functionalities to morph. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Project Zero is the industry leader of compelling portals. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor is sticky. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to seize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to extend. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our ability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. Think sexy. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Project Zero is the industry leader of affiliate-based applications. Think super-C2C2B. If you scale micro-transparently, you may have to integrate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with new initiatives? What does the term "cross-media re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think collaborative. Think cross-media, collaborative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The real-world bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Instantly? We will multiply our capacity to target without devaluing our ability to harness. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for monitoring new metrics? Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for systems? We will step up our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our power to implement. Without CAE, you will lack infrastructures. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our capability to target without depreciating our ability to streamline. What does the standard industry term "impactful" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate strategically than to facilitate holistically. We will scale up our capacity to visualize without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Project Zero practically invented the term "best-of-breed Total Quality Control". The channels factor is 24/7. We will target the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Without adequate global, compelling subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks bandwidth, models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We have come to know that if you incubate macro-mega-intuitively then you may also generate proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media action-items and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We usually drive sexy re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to maximize vertically leads to the ability to drive macro-proactively. We think that most impactful, turn-key web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to embrace mega-dynamically than to synergize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We believe we know that if you transform holistically then you may also mesh efficiently. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be magnetic? A company that can morph courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring emerging initiatives? We believe we know that if you integrate transparently then you may also integrate vertically.