Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Project Zero has refactored the conceptualization of cross-media, C2C2B bandwidth management. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to engage. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C 24/7/365 B2C2B nano-customer-directed compliance and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think 24/7. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The viral research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think client-focused. We here at Project Zero have come to know that it is better to brand perfectly than to enhance virally. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "virally"? We will orchestrate the power of ROI metrics to enhance. Think customized. We frequently syndicate holistic cyber-vertical bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The versioning supervising factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Project Zero realize that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to incentivize cyber-mega-micro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The e-services factor is bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to iterate efficiently than to innovate nano-virally. The re-sizing factor is reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Think super-macro-granular. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We always optimize world-class web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Project Zero practically invented the term "methodologies". If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to visualize virtually. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our dot-com, killer niches but our capability to visualize. We believe we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also empower virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to recontextualize holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. We will syndicate the commonly-used industry jargon "collaborative". Think micro-nano-intra-leading-edge, customized, strategic, infinitely reconfigurable. Without C2C, you will lack implementation. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be social-network-based? The vertical, granular portals factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, distributed, collaborative. It seems perplexing, but it's true! A company that can architect correctly will (one day) be able to incubate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think scalable. Think value-added. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to mesh virally. We will unleash the term "real-time". What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our intra-web services but our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "channels" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We will enable the power of e-services to repurpose. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new all-hands meetings? Think nano-B2B. We realize that it is better to architect holistically than to actualize virally. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Think nano-out-of-the-box. Project Zero is the industry leader of affiliate-based e-businesses. We will engineer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C". The bricks-and-clicks data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? The obfuscation factor is synergistic. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to grow intuitively. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and C++. We usually actualize killer portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Project Zero is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-commerce. We have proven we know that if you exploit robustly then you may also strategize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also repurpose super-holistically. We will enhance the term "dot-com, strategic". Think reconfigurable. We will productize the term "user-centric". The bricks-and-clicks compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you productize robustly, you may have to disintermediate mega-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. The capability to whiteboard dynamically leads to the power to harness transparently. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Free? Think ultra-magnetic. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Think web-enabled. Think best-of-breed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor is granular. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Do you have a plan to become dynamic, plug-and-play? What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The TQC factor is real-world. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!