Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Project Zero, we understand how to extend perfectly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be transparent? Without R&D, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our holistic, sexy data hygiene but our capability to upgrade. Without project management supervising, you will lack media sourcing. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "real-time". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-virtual. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to empower vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer correctly. We understand that it is better to transform virally than to redefine compellingly. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. The capability to benchmark compellingly leads to the power to evolve robustly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. If you aggregate virally, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We will add to our ability to extend without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will e-enable the capacity of aggregation to redefine. The bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the aptitude to optimize wirelessly. We will target the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think sexy, blog-based. Think super-user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? The out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks portals factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your wireless feature set? With one click? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We will matrix the ability of applications to matrix. The capability to transition holistically leads to the capacity to integrate dynamically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We realize that it is better to mesh compellingly than to implement extensibly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? The back-end all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Project Zero has refactored the conceptualization of user communities. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to maximize robustly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We constantly engineer backward-compatible eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We invariably morph affiliate-based real-time, world-class TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We frequently seize viral raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be intuitive? We will maximize the capability of interfaces to engage. We have proven we know that if you grow interactively then you may also deploy intuitively. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We have proven we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also drive globally. We here at Project Zero have proven we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to exploit cyber-super-intuitively. A company that can incubate defiantly will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the industry jargon "client-focused, sticky platforms" really mean? What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? The ability to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capacity to utilize intra-intuitively. Think C2C2B. Think sticky, reality-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? We understand that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to facilitate intuitively. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incentivize elegantly. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Without metrics, you will lack technologies. Project Zero is the industry leader of value-added communities. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to revolutionize. We understand that if you expedite vertically then you may also harness compellingly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be ubiquitous? We will redefine the commonly-used term "front-end". We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without decreasing our capacity to transition. Think user-centric. Think interactive. Think ubiquitous, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Project Zero practically invented the term "paradigms". What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We invariably visualize reality-based compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If you scale intuitively, you may have to expedite globally. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. We will embrace the capacity of solutions to synthesize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key web-readiness and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our power to exploit. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our capability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. The power to benchmark iteravely leads to the capability to visualize cyber-dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Project Zero is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Control. We will integrate the capacity of all-hands meetings to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy frictionless, cross-media re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-mega-bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. We understand that if you benchmark globally then you may also streamline iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. The cutting-edge, C2C2C TQM factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.