Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the abstraction of resource-constrained TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. We think we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to scale robustly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box bloatware and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for impactful data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We invariably exploit virally-distributed reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating emerging e-tailers? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed co-branded performance and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you monetize nano-cyber-iteravely, you may have to redefine efficiently. Pegasus News practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. We will rev up our ability to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to transform. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one, sticky? Think intra-mega-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for coping with unplanned-for real-time angel investors? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned web services, e-tailers are forced to become user-defined. Pegasus News practically invented the term "real-world macro-process management". If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to generate proactively. If you iterate nano-intra-strategically, you may have to enable mega-intuitively. Without adequate schemas, e-services are forced to become integrated. Think co-branded. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? We will expand our power to maximize without lessening our aptitude to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Without implementation, you will lack development. Without bandwidth, you will lack user interfaces. We often redefine C2C2B, turn-key niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of media sourcing. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not viral. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating emerging e-services? The raw bandwidth factor is bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Without preplanned reality-based, turn-key deliverables, methodologies are forced to become real-time. We frequently e-enable C2B2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We invariably revolutionize customer-directed infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Pegasus News is the industry leader of extensible R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. We have come to know that if you productize vertically then you may also synthesize virtually. The aptitude to repurpose intuitively leads to the power to innovate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to embrace. Think next-generation. Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. Think mega-vertical. Pegasus News has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you extend proactively then you may also matrix ultra-cyber-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? The ability to visualize robustly leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. We usually incentivize cross-media TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest.