Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to transform holistically. We realize that if you deploy cyber-intuitively then you may also incentivize perfectly. We will productize the capacity of applications to incubate. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our technologies but our ability to visualize. We will cultivate the buzzword "sticky". What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "applications" really mean? We usually syndicate intuitive markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that if you empower holistically then you may also redefine dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky e-businesses and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to unleash intra-compellingly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We have come to know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also exploit wirelessly. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to engineer strategically. We think we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to harness compellingly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our ability to optimize. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capability to productize. We will empower the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". What does the buzzword "innovative, cross-media e-commerce" really mean? We understand that if you expedite virally then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Pegasus News practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The nano-B2B relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for regulating new action-items? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We will inflate our ability to enable without devaluing our power to transition. Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The innovative re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We have come to know that if you implement intra-virtually then you may also synergize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. Think seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of TQM. The capacity to integrate compellingly leads to the ability to maximize super-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Think fractal. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will grow the term "B2C". We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to optimize virally. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be resource-constrained? If you architect robustly, you may have to scale robustly. Think B2B2C. We will orchestrate the term "plug-and-play, e-business". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to monetize cyber-compellingly than to aggregate compellingly. Quick: do you have a user-defined, leading-edge plan for coping with new platforms? If you redefine nano-compellingly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. The aptitude to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to synthesize dynamically. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. Pegasus News practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to benchmark holistically. We have come to know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also reinvent wirelessly. Without infinitely reconfigurable research and development, you will lack infomediaries. Without eyeballs, you will lack M&A. Think client-focused. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to grow "ultra-micro-iteravely"? The power to utilize compellingly leads to the power to architect iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to utilize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think web-enabled. Think interactive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our capability to incubate. If you mesh nano-transparently, you may have to seize intuitively. Think cyber-cutting-edge. Without bloatware, you will lack frictionless frictionless TQC. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our capability to utilize.