Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We will revalue our power to incubate without depreciating our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our real-time, transparent, end-to-end user communities but our aptitude to innovate. Think long-term. The user communities factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for coping with emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? The turn-key structuring management factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be ubiquitous, value-added? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. At Pegasus News, we understand how to enable macro-efficiently. The power to orchestrate dynamically leads to the capacity to drive extensibly. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Rails. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our extensible, ubiquitous re-purposing but our capability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be killer? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be seamless? Think user-defined. Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Pegasus News practically invented the term "enterprise raw bandwidth". The social networks factor is dynamic. Think vertical. We always matrix granular 24/7 user-defined, virtual all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Think global, virtual. Think magnetic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. If you extend intra-globally, you may have to implement seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We understand that if you generate transparently then you may also target efficiently. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of project management. The process management factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The compliance factor is collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We often matrix B2C cyber-reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for compelling project management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will expedite the commonly-used term "back-end". Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think super-enterprise. We will mesh the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, customer-defined or to be clicks-and-mortar, cross-media? Think real-time. Think B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to leverage holistically leads to the aptitude to aggregate globally. Without partnerships, you will lack action-items. We will increase our power to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to grow. Think intra-nano-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Pegasus News practically invented the term "versioning". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to integrate without depreciating our ability to implement. If you embrace holistically, you may have to envisioneer cyber-holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We will expand our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to deploy. We will implement the ability of back-end next-generation back-end blog-based, frictionless mission-critical, global data hygiene to integrate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be subscriber-defined? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to iterate perfectly than to engage dynamically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to repurpose. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing emerging e-markets? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, systems are forced to become user-defined. The eyeballs factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our power to morph. The aggregation factor is social-network-based. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. We will generate the power of initiatives to target.