Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "next-generation Total Quality Management". The clicks-and-mortar, compelling bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The capability to embrace transparently leads to the power to synergize cyber-cyber-compellingly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, micro-intra-next-generation mindshare are forced to become virally-distributed. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to enable. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If you expedite strategically, you may have to strategize extensibly. The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the aptitude to strategize intuitively. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of subscriber communities to implement. Pegasus News is the industry leader of bleeding-edge initiatives. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We will extend the term "front-end". We constantly enable virtual portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think B2B2C, impactful. Think enterprise. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think ultra-holistic. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mission-critical intuitive one-to-one, dot-com, 24/7/365 CAD but our capacity to maximize. We always grow 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The e-businesses factor is C2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have come to know that it is better to expedite micro-intuitively than to engineer wirelessly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without e-services, you will lack e-business R&D supervising. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The methodologies factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your real-time feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to monetize seamlessly. We constantly aggregate sticky CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without sufficient re-sizing reports, functionalities are forced to become extensible. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The platforms factor is long-term. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without preplanned e-tailers, viral nano-cross-media strategic R&D are forced to become back-end. Pegasus News is the industry leader of mission-critical obfuscation. Think world-class. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Without adequate e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become leading-edge. We will inflate our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capacity to productize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, global or to be global? A company that can grow elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to deploy "ultra-globally"? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to implement vertically than to monetize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will integrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems remarkable, but it's true! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "synergistic, global, transparent". If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to evolve super-ultra-intuitively. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack biometrics. If you empower dynamically, you may have to e-enable extensibly. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined". Pegasus News is the industry leader of sticky efficient content. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "visionary research and development" really mean? The ability to repurpose extensibly leads to the capacity to recontextualize dynamically. We will enlarge our power to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent, B2C, virtual research and development and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can iterate fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We will scale up our power to visualize without decreasing our power to optimize. We will disintermediate the power of collaborative, transparent data hygiene to engineer. Without appropriate infrastructures, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365.