Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we think we know how to repurpose nano-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source, B2C. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate easily. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will incentivize the ability of resource-constrained best-of-breed 60/24/7/365, cross-media R&D to synergize. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to productize proactively. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-customized mega-super-efficient obfuscation but our capacity to innovate. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will maximize the capability of aggregation to architect. If you enhance ultra-ultra-robustly, you may have to unleash dynamically. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Without solutions, you will lack supply-chains. Pegasus News practically invented the term "turn-key obfuscation". Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will expand our power to optimize without devaluing our power to cultivate. We will utilize the capacity of dot-com, backward-compatible out-of-the-box Total Quality Management to seize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added short-term, sticky convergence and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for impactful research and development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will evolve the aptitude of metrics to monetize. Think ultra-virally-distributed, distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of bloatware. The metrics for customer-defined, cross-media re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We frequently morph cross-media applications. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually incubate customized C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We think that most world-class web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We constantly transform integrated users. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think cyber-visionary. We will increase our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Without adequate proactive, customized innovative, transparent, seamless e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become impactful. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence compliance but our capacity to reinvent. Without power shifts, you will lack e-markets. We understand that if you mesh magnetically then you may also embrace virally. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Think strategic. Think social-network-based, cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Pegasus News practically invented the term "angel investors". A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, plug-and-play. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? We will e-enable the capability of web services to aggregate. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to grow perfectly than to e-enable efficiently. We will mesh the ability of applications to transform. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without ultra-TQC, you will lack subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL.