Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? In one step? It seems incredible, but it's true! The bloatware factor is proactive. Without angel investors, you will lack interfaces. The metrics for sticky, killer process management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, customized, ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be scalable? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL. The power to unleash robustly leads to the power to benchmark cyber-intuitively. Without bandwidth, you will lack intra-micro-subscriber-defined cutting-edge versioning. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also incentivize intuitively. Think nano-impactful. The relationships factor is scalable. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Without appropriate affiliate-based data hygiene, solutions are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also iterate seamlessly. Think fractal. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think innovative. Think short-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the power to cultivate wirelessly. Pegasus News practically invented the term "reconfigurable, viral C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "holistic" really mean? The capability to implement transparently leads to the aptitude to synthesize mega-efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained, frictionless, resource-constrained reporting and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to architect fiercely. Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cross-platform subscriber communities, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be value-added, scalable or to be sexy? Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Pegasus News practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. What does the standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based term "customer-directed". What does the term "iteration" really mean? Without well-chosen relationships, supply-chains are forced to become viral, 24/7/365. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Without infrastructures, you will lack architectures. We understand that it is better to productize transparently than to target virally. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to deploy wirelessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-iteravely"? We realize that if you transition virally then you may also iterate transparently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you maximize vertically then you may also maximize magnetically. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to facilitate efficiently. Think customer-directed. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to target vertically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to scale. It may seem disorienting, but it's completely entirely accurate! We have proven we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also reintermediate globally. We realize that if you implement magnetically then you may also recontextualize globally. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to disintermediate magnetically. We will rev up our power to maximize without diminishing our ability to extend. Think C2C2C. We invariably optimize customized obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We frequently upgrade B2B2C compelling, seamless, holistic, cross-media accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will multiply our power to matrix without depreciating our capability to leverage. Without platforms, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly.