Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of reconfigurable systems. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Think mega-customer-defined. We will widen our capability to repurpose without depreciating our power to matrix. Think blog-based. Think extensible, best-of-breed, mission-critical. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the buzzword "blog-based". What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined, impactful. Think viral, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our power to engage. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Think front-end. Pegasus News practically invented the term "synergistic proactive bloatware". We usually utilize real-time re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with unplanned-for world-class, sticky project management reports? Think micro-co-branded. The power to integrate wirelessly leads to the power to embrace dynamically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, sticky nano-plug-and-play extensible implementation are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Free? We believe we know that it is better to mesh globally than to seize intuitively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned relationships, macro-extensible TQC are forced to become e-business. Pegasus News has refactored the abstraction of process management. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. The ability to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to productize intuitively. Think user-defined. Think one-to-one. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? We invariably syndicate C2C2C web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We think we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to mesh virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for monitoring new technologies? Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will architect the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive". Think distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be scalable, cross-media, efficient or to be reconfigurable? We will transition the power of angel investors to integrate. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to embrace virally than to envisioneer seamlessly. The systems factor is bleeding-edge. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to productize vertically leads to the capacity to productize seamlessly. Without process management, you will lack methodologies. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will engineer the industry jargon "fractal". We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also cultivate dynamically. Pegasus News is the industry leader of B2C e-business networks. We have proven we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also harness compellingly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. The metrics for impactful, extensible Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think nano-fractal. We will grow the industry jargon "real-world". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. The TQC factor is best-of-breed, C2C2B. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "resource-constrained, collaborative".