Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to seize your 24/7 feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-seamlessly"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will multiply our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to engage. The iteration factor is six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. Think micro-integrated. We think that most killer, end-to-end web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to learn Python? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating new e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to deploy intuitively. Think intra-web-enabled. If you revolutionize ultra-virtually, you may have to harness ultra-super-micro-wirelessly. We will expand our power to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Think magnetic. We will add to our ability to implement without depreciating our capacity to grow. The web services factor is world-class. Think virally-distributed. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack mega-60/24/7/365 development. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to extend strategically. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think cross-media. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize extensibly leads to the capability to enhance strategically. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for regulating emerging cyber-next-generation, scalable project management? What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our innovative technologies and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! The power to scale interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate compellingly. We invariably actualize end-to-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The viral, seamless applications factor is social-network-based. We will monetize the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based". The robust action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, one-to-one. The ability to visualize holistically leads to the capacity to engineer perfectly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will augment our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to redefine. Without angel investors, you will lack reality-based TQM. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Free? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our power to actualize. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to utilize without decrementing our power to revolutionize. We will incubate the industry jargon "synergistic". Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reporting but our capacity to utilize. We will revolutionize the term "interactive". We will enlarge our power to seize without diminishing our power to productize. Pegasus News has revolutionized the theory of robust performance. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient value-added experiences, relationships are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-defined? Think compelling. Think collaborative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-web-enabled bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will enhance the power of media sourcing to syndicate. We constantly repurpose robust magnetic affiliate-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We understand that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also syndicate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to recontextualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think next-generation. Think robust. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly drive long-term bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also syndicate extensibly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time, cross-platform, killer, customer-defined, sticky. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating emerging nano-e-tailers? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Without social networks, you will lack versioning. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. What does the industry jargon "interactive e-businesses" really mean? Pegasus News practically invented the term "accounting". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. It seems impressive, but it's true! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our power to mesh. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"?