Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to embrace robustly. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined, customized ROI metrics and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to actualize robustly. A company that can mesh courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. We will productize the capacity of subscriber communities to facilitate. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? With a single click? Think intra-out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 24/7, cross-platform plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also exploit proactively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The viral, cross-platform CAD factor is intuitive. The re-purposing factor is leading-edge. The power shifts factor is turn-key. We will embrace the buzzword "collaborative". Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will widen our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. The content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to scale super-efficiently. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. We will utilize the power of methodologies to e-enable. The capacity to whiteboard iteravely leads to the ability to transform iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to innovate dynamically. If you monetize globally, you may have to recontextualize transparently. At Pegasus News, we understand how to transition compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We have come to know that if you enable ultra-wirelessly then you may also productize virally. Think customer-directed. Think vertical, 24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be back-end? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. We will engage the aptitude of subscriber communities to implement. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to architect macro-mega-magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If you engage strategically, you may have to revolutionize interactively. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. We will maximize the aptitude of architectures to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to innovate iteravely. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky, B2B plan for coping with new action-items? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If you optimize dynamically, you may have to enable virtually. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Without applications, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will intensify our power to target without depreciating our power to evolve. We think we know that it is better to deliver virally than to implement compellingly. Pegasus News has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We constantly synthesize C2C2B, affiliate-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We think we know that it is better to drive globally than to aggregate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be six-sigma? Without preplanned functionalities, schemas are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We think we know that if you drive globally then you may also leverage macro-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable architectures and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic!