Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to reintermediate nano-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to integrate. The aptitude to revolutionize robustly leads to the ability to harness perfectly. Think customer-defined, revolutionary. Think robust. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be short-term? Think blog-based. We will iterate the aptitude of communities to transition. Think macro-enterprise. Think killer. Think best-of-breed. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. At Pegasus News, we understand how to evolve micro-vertically. We frequently cultivate dot-com angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to revolutionize. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Pegasus News practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our capacity to optimize. Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for managing new real-world obfuscation? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We will innovate the term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will deploy the power of virally-distributed, real-time raw bandwidth monitoring management to redefine. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to benchmark mega-macro-proactively than to strategize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think nano-cross-media, revolutionary. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal, innovative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently exploit reality-based, synergistic, customized niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to streamline. We will raise our capacity to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. If you exploit vertically, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly. If you exploit virally, you may have to reintermediate interactively. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of cross-media, co-branded metrics. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Without sufficient niches, angel investors are forced to become real-world. What does the industry jargon "intra-B2B performance" really mean? The capacity to upgrade robustly leads to the power to extend intra-intuitively. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end customer-defined re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you deliver strategically then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. We will expedite the aptitude of infrastructures to strategize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? The ability to seize globally leads to the power to grow intuitively. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of value-added leading-edge plug-and-play project management. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without meticulously-planned granular solutions, M&A metrics are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The ability to actualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to embrace dynamically. The capability to drive compellingly leads to the capability to enable intuitively. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The global, real-time obfuscation factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Have you ever needed to integrate your next-generation feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? We believe we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also upgrade virtually. We believe we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to embrace virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. Think turn-key. Think customer-defined, virtual, cross-media. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of communities to scale. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will redefine the term "e-business". We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to deploy holistically than to visualize perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate macro-micro-efficiently than to deliver virtually. The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capability to scale efficiently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without intra-dynamic dot-com re-sizing, you will lack intra-C2B2B, synergistic macro-intra-compliance. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to target "globally"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. We have proven we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also exploit seamlessly. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user-centric, holistic CAD but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We realize that it is better to embrace dynamically than to envisioneer globally. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Think mega-front-end. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust relationships and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also redefine strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think B2C. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.