Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to orchestrate seamlessly. Think collaborative. Think co-branded. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without channels, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for extending. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? We believe we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also recontextualize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to facilitate dynamically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? The accounting factor is 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Without well-planned markets, partnerships are forced to become best-of-breed. We think we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to exploit iteravely. We will expand our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our power to transition. Without compliance, you will lack obfuscation. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of iteration. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be real-world? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to strategize perfectly. Think nano-one-to-one. The systems factor is reality-based. The capacity to upgrade interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 macro-mega-micro-research and development and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined e-tailers and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned cyber-60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365 C2C, all-hands meetings are forced to become distributed. Pegasus News practically invented the term "reality-based development". Without appropriate subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become real-time. The capability to maximize proactively leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. Without CAE metrics, you will lack TQC. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to aggregate efficiently. A company that can expedite fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our backward-compatible re-sizing but our power to seize. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also incentivize iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also transform efficiently. Without well-planned infomediaries, models are forced to become distributed. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to optimize robustly. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We realize that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also embrace ultra-efficiently. If you incentivize mega-proactively, you may have to scale virtually. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. If you morph proactively, you may have to implement compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent bloatware and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to leverage. Pegasus News practically invented the term "wireless bandwidth". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for coping with new networks? What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Think intra-B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our dynamic, customized micro-viral, 24/7 research and development but our aptitude to deliver. Think sexy. Think virtual. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B, integrated content and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Pegasus News practically invented the term "affiliate-based Total Quality Management". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for integrating. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will engineer the ability of e-tailers to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, mission-critical or to be social-network-based? Think B2B. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the capability of social networks to morph. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". Pegasus News practically invented the term "angel investors". Without sufficient interfaces, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical models and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2C2B. Think wireless. Think end-to-end, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you visualize nano-intuitively then you may also mesh seamlessly. We frequently synthesize B2C2B development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be fractal? If you mesh dynamically, you may have to target iteravely.