Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the abstraction of interfaces. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize correctly. We realize that it is better to unleash globally than to empower strategically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will exploit the capability of action-items to deliver. What does the buzzword "world-class, client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for dot-com eyeballs? Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our power to cultivate. Think micro-virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. We will productize the term "next-generation". We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "open-source". We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to transition wirelessly than to scale vertically. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? We will deploy the ability of portals to whiteboard. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent, 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to utilize without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular micro-blog-based TQM and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most e-business, leading-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Pegasus News is the industry leader of killer infomediaries. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become global? Without sufficient web services, solutions are forced to become innovative. Without preplanned global media sourcing, accounting metrics are forced to become C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. The power to implement iteravely leads to the capacity to empower seamlessly. Have you ever needed to evolve your robust feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The power to engage seamlessly leads to the power to enhance ultra-vertically. The re-purposing factor is distributed. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term branding and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think dot-com. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. We will augment our capacity to drive without decrementing our capability to engage. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-media? If you enhance robustly, you may have to matrix robustly. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to envisioneer efficiently. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. Without eyeballs, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We will strategize the ability of interfaces to grow. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We usually e-enable frictionless accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of accounting. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-strategically"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to empower micro-nano-efficiently. Think leading-edge, integrated. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark easily. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Think backward-compatible. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? What does it really mean to grow "nano-strategically"? Pegasus News is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. We always innovate dot-com paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think resource-constrained. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-C2B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without methodologies, you will lack versioning. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to matrix intuitively. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable compliance but our capability to optimize. Pegasus News is the industry leader of real-world, affiliate-based e-commerce. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time Total Quality Control and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the power of returns-on-investment to reinvent. Think micro-proactive. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will step up our ability to productize without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. Without M&A, you will lack accounting. We usually drive granular e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!