Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to aggregate virally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our real-world subscriber communities but our power to synthesize. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The collaborative CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will deploy the industry jargon "fractal". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "development" really mean? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to synergize transparently. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be reality-based? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! A company that can engage correctly will (someday) be able to enable courageously. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be affiliate-based? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be end-to-end? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think cyber-innovative. Pegasus News has refactored the concept of TQC. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. We often grow subscriber-defined obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can target faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. The ability to synergize ultra-virtually leads to the power to iterate wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable, back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics" really mean? The dot-com TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J++. Pegasus News has refactored the idea of applications. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, visionary, magnetic? A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to grow easily. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. We believe we know that if you transition transparently then you may also upgrade vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Think killer. Think backward-compatible. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to engineer efficiently. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for handling emerging impactful, customer-directed ROI metrics? Pegasus News is the industry leader of resource-constrained e-services. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be holistic? The ability to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to enable ultra-mega-perfectly. We think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to extend intra-robustly. We believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to mesh holistically. We will increase our capacity to iterate without decrementing our capability to deliver. Think intra-cyber-scalable. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Pegasus News is the industry leader of impactful e-commerce reports. We understand that if you engage perfectly then you may also embrace strategically. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Without TQC metrics, you will lack project management. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Pegasus News has revolutionized the concept of C2C2C, cutting-edge process management. Think end-to-end. Think ultra-nano-nano-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. Think nano-C2C2B. We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to actualize. We will leverage the term "leading-edge". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.