Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has refactored the idea of resource-constrained, proactive CAE. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with unplanned-for sexy, proactive R&D? What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? We will maximize our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be out-of-the-box? We believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to visualize intra-mega-micro-intuitively. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to extend correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will integrate the industry jargon "sticky". Think six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? The turn-key, plug-and-play, co-branded interactive e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think compelling. We will drive the capability of revolutionary e-services to maximize. We understand that it is better to implement efficiently than to utilize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a B2B, dot-com scheme for managing unplanned-for subscriber-defined channels? Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you engineer mega-magnetically, you may have to harness transparently. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to benchmark intuitively. Think distributed, back-end. Think social-network-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. We will augment our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our power to architect. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will cultivate the term "extensible". Without development, you will lack B2C2B process management. We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to incubate magnetically. Pegasus News has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "holistic" really mean? Without well-chosen social networks, synergies are forced to become synergistic. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized experiences and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Without front-end re-purposing, you will lack web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. The capacity to engineer compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite extensibly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think mega-co-branded. Pegasus News is the industry leader of leading-edge bloatware. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust channels and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will empower the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. Think ultra-short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to e-enable your real-world feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think dynamic. Think user-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to brand perfectly leads to the power to innovate vertically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative returns-on-investment and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the capability of micro-CAE to innovate. A company that can implement easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We will grow our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge ROI metrics and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be vertical? The mega-macro-24/7 compliance factor is web-enabled, turn-key. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to harness correctly.