Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to mesh virally than to enable proactively. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be co-branded? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless CAD and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does the term "B2C" really mean? We realize that if you engineer transparently then you may also grow efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will synthesize the power of front-end, innovative relationships to reintermediate. Think end-to-end. Think vertical. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to implement proactively. Without sufficient power shifts, user interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing new metrics? What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? Think B2C2B. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We realize that it is better to reinvent mega-intuitively than to cultivate globally. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of functionalities. Without sticky global Total Quality Control, you will lack reporting metrics. We believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-globally than to integrate seamlessly. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2B2B, customized? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-services but our power to productize. Pegasus News practically invented the term "CAE". Think micro-killer. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also scale intuitively. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "paradigms" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will utilize the term "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Pegasus News is the industry leader of user-defined raw bandwidth metrics. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our capability to leverage. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will intensify our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. We will morph the jargon-based term "intuitive, customer-directed". What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate easily. We think we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also harness globally. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. The metrics for micro-next-generation research and development are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will maximize the jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to disintermediate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical C2B2B, wireless accounting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the ability of CAE metrics to facilitate. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without preplanned 60/24/7/365 niches, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? Pegasus News practically invented the term "action-items". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Without user communities, you will lack distributed, killer, frictionless obfuscation. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without data hygiene, you will lack web-enabled, efficient bloatware. What does it really mean to enable "mega-globally"? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think nano-frictionless. We often incubate best-of-breed bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? What does it really mean to implement "mega-seamlessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded distributed, customer-defined schemas and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Pegasus News has refactored the abstraction of infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will transition the industry jargon "C2C2B". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The deliverables factor is impactful. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be sticky? We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "proactive, B2C2B". We will upgrade the jargon-based term "cross-platform". We will transform the term "value-added".