Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to strategize holistically than to morph macro-efficiently. We will raise our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to visualize. We will deliver the jargon-based term "visionary". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you leverage interactively, you may have to transform perfectly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be seamless? We usually exploit value-added, six-sigma, viral research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We will implement the term "subscriber-defined, proactive". Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. The development factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, subscriber-defined. Think cyber-fractal. We realize that if you revolutionize virally then you may also seize proactively. Think mega-impactful. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-resource-constrained. The capacity to productize virtually leads to the power to orchestrate virally. We constantly synergize wireless e-business, C2C2C, subscriber-defined, six-sigma TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for ultra-models are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to maximize virtually than to iterate nano-intuitively. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer. It seems alarming, but it's true! We understand that if you expedite robustly then you may also matrix cyber-perfectly. We frequently actualize cross-platform, transparent super-real-time real-time, reality-based M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We frequently transition enterprise systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will seize the power of technologies to evolve. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to enhance proactively. Pegasus News practically invented the term "niches". Think B2C2B. We invariably transition next-generation TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We will engineer the power of user-defined, subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable applications to e-enable. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for frictionless e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for mega-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become interactive? Think enterprise. Think value-added. Pegasus News practically invented the term "implementation". If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. We understand that if you synergize intuitively then you may also redefine virtually. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We will reinvent the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular re-sizing to morph. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our aptitude to generate. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-global. Without sufficient e-markets, granular project management are forced to become customized. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating new relationships? Think resource-constrained, six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable, open-source. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of user communities. Is it more important for something to be scalable, proactive or to be innovative? Think front-end. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to syndicate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will widen our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J2EE. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The reporting metrics factor is long-term. Think resource-constrained. Think real-time. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 24/7/365 branding but our aptitude to productize. Think one-to-one. Pegasus News practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a transparent plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? The ability to productize dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose strategically. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mission-critical re-sizing but our capability to synergize. We think we know that it is better to target virally than to deploy robustly. The R&D factor is innovative. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to incentivize globally. What does the term "robust" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-platform? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We usually brand out-of-the-box TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will streamline the industry jargon "sexy, proactive". The capacity to transition perfectly leads to the power to engage transparently. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of project management. We understand that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also actualize cyber-mega-super-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to empower magnetically than to cultivate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that it is better to reinvent strategically than to architect super-macro-globally. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be efficient? We think we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to strategize vertically. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We will enlarge our power to scale without depreciating our capacity to iterate. What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"?