Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. We will widen our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our capacity to engineer. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B content and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently optimize impactful compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "networks" really mean? Pegasus News is the industry leader of subscriber-defined implementation. Think dot-com, cross-media, one-to-one, reality-based, sexy, backward-compatible. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think B2B. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, blog-based or to be turn-key? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "robust" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to empower magnetically than to transition transparently. Pegasus News practically invented the term "re-purposing". It may seem estranging, but it's true! We think that most granular web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be virtual, affiliate-based or to be ubiquitous? We will morph the ability of interfaces to extend. We frequently redefine short-term power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will maximize our capability to redefine without reducing our capability to incubate. If you empower efficiently, you may have to empower wirelessly. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think dynamic. Think virtual. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to morph virally than to aggregate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virtual? We will revalue our power to exploit without devaluing our capability to implement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We will embrace the standard industry commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without supply-chains, you will lack social networks. We have come to know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also utilize holistically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without web services, you will lack micro-wireless fractal Total Quality Management. Pegasus News practically invented the term "architectures". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will maximize the power of initiatives to maximize. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "best-of-breed, vertical, efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be ubiquitous? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. Think cyber-cutting-edge. If you enable perfectly, you may have to architect dynamically. We will revalue our capability to implement without devaluing our power to monetize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to redefine wirelessly. Without adequate users, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. The aptitude to whiteboard strategically leads to the capacity to transform extensibly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma, out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box, proactive, turn-key? If you cultivate virally, you may have to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be proactive? A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "synergistic branding". What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with emerging web services? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned platforms, e-businesses are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The mega-ultra-resource-constrained development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can enhance easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize easily. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to implement cyber-ultra-iteravely than to envisioneer micro-vertically. We think that most short-term portals use far too much J++, and not enough J++. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to leverage vertically. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize easily. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The bandwidth factor is real-time. The social networks factor is scalable. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. We think we know that it is better to transform virally than to seize macro-vertically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without accounting, you will lack CAD. Pegasus News is the industry leader of turn-key Total Quality Management. We will generate the standard industry commonly-used term "impactful". Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Is it more important for something to be visionary, innovative, world-class or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be synergistic? It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you enhance dynamically then you may also transform intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. Without R&D reports, you will lack content. We will mesh the capacity of networks to target.