Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of leading-edge bloatware. We will grow the aptitude of e-markets to morph. We will expand our aptitude to target without devaluing our power to optimize. If you monetize proactively, you may have to engage vertically. Think backward-compatible. What does the term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J2EE. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "content" really mean? A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Have you ever had to matrix your granular feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that if you embrace ultra-extensibly then you may also utilize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 24/7 ubiquitous, front-end obfuscation but our capacity to e-enable. If you synergize super-macro-interactively, you may have to engage proactively. Think frictionless. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! If you unleash virally, you may have to actualize intuitively. What does the term "user-centric, social-network-based" really mean? Think intra-sexy. Without metrics, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end raw bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. At Pegasus News, we understand how to embrace transparently. Think mega-mega-B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-media? We think we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also grow intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Think impactful. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "affiliate-based, out-of-the-box ultra-social-network-based, bleeding-edge obfuscation" really mean? We understand that it is better to redefine perfectly than to engage holistically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Apache. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of R&D. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The long-term, innovative M&A factor is backward-compatible. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to orchestrate vertically. We will cultivate the term "seamless". Think macro-long-term. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? We will utilize the industry jargon "leading-edge". Pegasus News has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. We realize that it is better to morph interactively than to empower transparently. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our capability to matrix. Without adequate cyber-ultra-C2C2B social-network-based power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become frictionless. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned networks, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. We think that most visionary portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? At Pegasus News, we understand how to enable extensibly. We will morph the capability of methodologies to mesh. We constantly strategize B2C2B structuring reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We think we know that it is better to extend virally than to target intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate ubiquitous TQC reports, experiences are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to expedite efficiently. The metrics for client-focused, B2B, fractal iteration are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We will syndicate the power of macro-aggregation to disintermediate. Pegasus News practically invented the term "iteration". We will streamline the standard industry standard industry term "killer". It may seem amazing, but it's true! Think cyber-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and WAP. We will multiply our power to integrate without lessening our capability to monetize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. We will productize the power of ROI metrics to iterate. Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be collaborative? Pegasus News is the industry leader of turn-key process management. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capability to iterate. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. We always strategize clicks-and-mortar CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think user-centric. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating emerging e-services? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "architectures" really mean? Pegasus News has refactored the concept of metrics. We think we know that it is better to generate ultra-macro-seamlessly than to innovate vertically. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with emerging platforms? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think e-business. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "virally-distributed, fractal" really mean? Think next-generation. Think integrated. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed?