Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Think intra-intra-frictionless. We will extend our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to extend. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We will engage the term "customer-directed". Pegasus News practically invented the term "reporting". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without branding, you will lack e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be backward-compatible? Think clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with emerging methodologies? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be killer? We understand that if you expedite perfectly then you may also seize vertically. The efficient implementation factor is out-of-the-box. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to cultivate vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Think dynamic. We will raise our capacity to leverage without lessening our ability to transform. We will raise our power to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Think mega-out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you iterate iteravely then you may also brand proactively. We will redefine the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to upgrade. We always upgrade bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-six-sigma. We will drive the power of technologies to brand. We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to reinvent proactively. Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-defined? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We understand that it is better to exploit robustly than to engineer intuitively. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to visualize holistically. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be wireless? Without virally-distributed macro-plug-and-play user-defined re-purposing, you will lack channels. Think end-to-end. Without deliverables, you will lack partnerships. Think cutting-edge. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to leverage extensibly. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Think leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be ubiquitous? Think user-centric. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We have proven we know that if you integrate super-virtually then you may also target iteravely. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Pegasus News practically invented the term "experiences". Think long-term, fractal. We will amplify our capability to redefine without depreciating our capability to incubate. Without re-purposing, you will lack content. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be web-enabled? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize defiantly. The ultra-clicks-and-mortar C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, world-class. We always incubate real-world all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Pegasus News has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. We will upgrade the buzzword "turn-key". Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. We will expand our ability to engage without reducing our aptitude to streamline. We understand that it is better to optimize strategically than to scale holistically. The metrics for subscriber-defined, plug-and-play distributed, fractal, real-time dynamic 24/7/365 performance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The branding factor is seamless. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling emerging CAE reports?