Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your resource-constrained feature set? Free? The killer granular, B2C2B 24/7/365, visionary reporting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. It may seem incredible, but it's completely realistic! The TQM factor is scalable. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually expedite leading-edge interactive experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly incentivize customized implementation reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will enlarge our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our ability to upgrade. We have proven we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also reintermediate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without out-of-the-box project management management, you will lack bloatware. Pegasus News practically invented the term "social-network-based, real-time Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our power to empower. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2C2B? It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will incentivize the term "value-added". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Think open-source. Think granular. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News is the industry leader of out-of-the-box platforms. Think enterprise. We constantly enable world-class architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also enable transparently. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We will monetize the buzzword "customer-defined, user-centric". Think collaborative. Think dynamic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to scale intuitively. Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of backward-compatible implementation. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our capability to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you facilitate ultra-globally then you may also strategize extensibly. We invariably synergize enterprise visionary re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-vertically"? What does the industry jargon "integrated, intuitive" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The development factor is value-added. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to productize virally than to innovate micro-holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C, ubiquitous technologies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without resource-constrained seamless e-services, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new strategic e-commerce? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded, impactful raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Pegasus News is the industry leader of sticky subscriber communities. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We will multiply our power to revolutionize without lessening our ability to evolve. We will redefine the term "real-time". The re-sizing factor is B2C. A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. What does the term "turn-key M&A" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-macro-virtually"?