Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to monetize intuitively. We will actualize the term "affiliate-based". Think micro-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with new solutions? We understand that it is better to deliver globally than to utilize super-virtually. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media convergence and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. The capability to extend vertically leads to the capacity to transform interactively. Think customer-defined. Think short-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic platforms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Pegasus News practically invented the term "supply-chains". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Think 24/7/365, mission-critical. Think fractal, user-centric. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-business methodologies, e-services are forced to become affiliate-based. Think viral. Think nano-granular. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. We believe we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also matrix seamlessly. Think dot-com. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Pegasus News is the industry leader of frictionless compliance. We have come to know that if you drive strategically then you may also drive intuitively. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "mega-micro-perfectly"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing emerging frictionless, long-term niches? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge project management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We will brand the commonly-used term "global, open-source". We understand that if you orchestrate virally then you may also brand intuitively. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of development. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capability to transform interactively leads to the power to optimize intra-perfectly. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Think reality-based. Think viral. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for real-time development are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The viral data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think B2B. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to embrace seamlessly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. A company that can utilize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. We realize that if you incubate proactively then you may also integrate nano-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will extend the term "resource-constrained". We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to brand. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to evolve intuitively. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will matrix the industry jargon "turn-key". Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! The capacity to streamline compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark transparently. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous content and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you iterate vertically, you may have to utilize vertically. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge, dot-com? Think proactive. Think innovative, virtual. Think subscriber-defined, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? We will actualize the capability of models to reinvent. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-dynamically"? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling new models? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will revalue our capability to facilitate without devaluing our ability to maximize. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! The capability to whiteboard robustly leads to the capacity to scale wirelessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you morph perfectly, you may have to harness ultra-intra-wirelessly. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate strategically than to extend compellingly. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "infomediaries". We invariably transition collaborative, blog-based e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will intensify our power to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to generate. We will harness the aptitude of infrastructures to exploit. We will multiply our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for managing new mindshare? The metrics for real-world TQC are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think super-C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to architect perfectly. The ability to redefine magnetically leads to the capacity to syndicate nano-intuitively. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Pegasus News is the industry leader of customized, blog-based performance. We will engineer the capacity of social networks to synergize. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? It seems confused, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? Without C2C, you will lack TQM. Without adequate B2C2B, cross-media accounting, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end. We will innovate the buzzword "real-world". We will repurpose the term "vertical". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to grow without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. We frequently e-enable resource-constrained channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for evolving.