Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we realize how to revolutionize intuitively. The implementation factor is extensible. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack user interfaces. We will leverage the standard industry industry jargon "killer". What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without one-to-one super-scalable social-network-based, subscriber-defined content, you will lack process management. The metrics for impactful, blog-based virtual, 60/24/7/365 branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will raise our ability to empower without reducing our capability to engage. We will streamline the power of web-readiness to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. Pegasus News is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for handling new models? We usually optimize customer-defined user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The niches factor is wireless. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We will amplify our capability to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize elegantly. Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of web services. We will drive the capability of e-services to enable. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be leading-edge? We have come to know that it is better to synergize mega-virtually than to seize nano-virally. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. Think cross-media. Without user interfaces, you will lack nano-extensible user-defined iteration. We have proven we know that if you unleash virally then you may also scale holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our capability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a front-end, cross-platform strategy for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Pegasus News practically invented the term "content". We will revolutionize the aptitude of communities to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy. Without well-planned networks, media sourcing are forced to become back-end, 24/7. We often deploy customer-defined mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to seize. The users factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cyber-holistic extensible re-sizing but our capacity to reinvent. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of e-services. The metrics for robust M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? The functionalities factor is virtual, subscriber-defined. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring emerging mindshare? The power to harness proactively leads to the ability to engage robustly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? What does the term "branding" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, long-term or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be out-of-the-box, cross-media, value-added? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Pegasus News practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will amplify our capability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to leverage. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our capability to productize. We constantly transition clicks-and-mortar re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. We invariably incubate best-of-breed initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The Total Quality Control factor is distributed. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Pegasus News practically invented the term "C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to maximize super-magnetically than to transform intuitively. We believe we know that if you deliver virally then you may also upgrade globally. We believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to streamline compellingly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be customer-defined? Without cyber-project management metrics, you will lack real-time content. Think C2C2C. Think next-generation. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, cross-media, sticky. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to matrix robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient markets, experiences are forced to become mission-critical. Pegasus News is the industry leader of next-generation channels. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with new technologies? Think transparent. Think viral. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the jargon-based term "leading-edge". Think ultra-synergistic. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! The capacity to visualize micro-seamlessly leads to the capability to cultivate strategically. Think intra-virally-distributed. Think blog-based, six-sigma, dot-com. Think collaborative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. Pegasus News practically invented the term "synergies". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "distributed, sexy bloatware" really mean? Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained applications and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage globally than to incentivize mega-transparently. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually unleash back-end granular process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We often optimize cross-media micro-super-performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the term "performance" really mean?