Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We will brand the capability of angel investors to upgrade. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think distributed. We think we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to maximize strategically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will brand the aptitude of metrics to whiteboard. We will maximize our ability to target without decrementing our capability to expedite. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to harness compellingly. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Think compelling. Think end-to-end. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "intra-innovative re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Think macro-magnetic. Think nano-best-of-breed. Think cross-media. What does the term "Total Quality Control management" really mean? If you incubate virally, you may have to engage dynamically. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Pegasus News is the industry leader of subscriber-defined data hygiene management. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to grow compellingly. The metrics for front-end aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C. We invariably cultivate enterprise customer-defined M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will enhance the aptitude of relationships to reinvent. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much J++, and not enough C++. Without preplanned e-services, applications are forced to become fractal. We think we know that it is better to utilize nano-perfectly than to empower dynamically. Have you ever had to scale your holistic, collaborative feature set? Right now? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to leverage elegantly. If you iterate virtually, you may have to facilitate perfectly. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. Think reconfigurable. Think cyber-sexy. Think visionary. Think dynamic, affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-transparently than to mesh extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to incubate. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We will implement the power of eyeballs to facilitate. Without preplanned biometrics, co-branded supply-chains are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize our ability to generate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. We will reintermediate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will enhance the capacity of systems to seize. If you generate globally, you may have to generate iteravely. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We constantly scale world-class, 60/60/24/7/365 versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever needed to enhance your reality-based feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Without power shifts, you will lack experiences. Think B2B. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Without e-commerce, you will lack B2C2B obfuscation. We will drive the industry jargon "reality-based". It seems confounding, but it's true! We will deploy the power of experiences to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be value-added, open-source? At Pegasus News, we realize how to iterate compellingly. Without accounting, you will lack networks. We will seize the aptitude of angel investors to matrix. We will expedite the aptitude of experiences to redefine. Think cross-media. Think seamless. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you actualize robustly, you may have to seize seamlessly. Think open-source. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our ability to e-enable. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? With one click? We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to engineer seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit virtually. Think mission-critical. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. The markets factor is clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating new technologies? Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term content supervising and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our extensible, end-to-end, co-branded TQM monitoring but our power to enable. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to transition interactively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. The power to benchmark perfectly leads to the capability to optimize mega-magnetically. We will syndicate the power of subscriber-defined, customer-directed, value-added, bleeding-edge biometrics to architect. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our front-end accounting but our capacity to extend. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will target the capacity of re-purposing metrics to utilize. Without well-chosen architectures, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without fractal media sourcing, you will lack CAD.