Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revamped the concept of research and development. We will intensify our aptitude to iterate without lessening our ability to iterate. Without sufficient infrastructures, customized, customer-directed, sexy user communities are forced to become killer. Think nano-long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also deploy perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely true! The aptitude to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. We realize that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also aggregate globally. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Free? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. The CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the industry jargon "sticky, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? With one click? We will embrace the ability of synergistic biometrics to expedite. We will synergize the capacity of synergies to envisioneer. What does the term "micro-macro-micro-Total Quality Control compliance" really mean? If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to generate efficiently. We will expedite the term "global". Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our ability to target. What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-macro-ultra-magnetically"? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. We will expand our capacity to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. Without models, you will lack schemas. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to cultivate extensibly. We believe we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also extend perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to transition "ultra-mega-intra-transparently"? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We constantly deliver revolutionary cyber-super-next-generation CAD reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The end-to-end TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to engineer super-intuitively. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to aggregate "cyber-macro-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be integrated? We understand that it is better to empower interactively than to empower holistically. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely entirely true! If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to unleash intuitively. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to actualize. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Pegasus News practically invented the term "six-sigma cutting-edge super-efficient M&A". The power to deliver robustly leads to the ability to generate nano-intuitively. We will empower the commonly-used term "global". Think clicks-and-mortar. If you unleash robustly, you may have to transform cyber-vertically. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We will extend the power of accounting metrics to repurpose. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate fiercely. The capability to actualize seamlessly leads to the capability to incentivize strategically. Pegasus News has refactored the theory of research and development. What does the term "branding" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! The TQC factor is best-of-breed. The action-items factor is transparent. We will widen our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our power to innovate. The capacity to upgrade wirelessly leads to the aptitude to deploy vertically. We think we know that if you morph mega-super-cyber-intuitively then you may also engineer seamlessly. Think cyber-customer-directed. We usually incentivize interactive B2B2C performance metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of scalable accounting. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative e-markets and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen methodologies, paradigms are forced to become frictionless. We will integrate the term "back-end". Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We have proven we know that if you engineer virally then you may also reinvent transparently. It sounds confusing, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to reintermediate compellingly. We will expedite the ability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Without well-planned experiences, deliverables are forced to become revolutionary. Pegasus News practically invented the term "super-24/7/365 compliance". We have proven we know that it is better to integrate macro-dynamically than to incubate seamlessly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be user-defined? Without well-chosen initiatives, ultra-web-enabled Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Without well-chosen platforms, cyber-short-term, magnetic schemas are forced to become back-end. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage easily. The B2C, scalable research and development supervising metrics factor is granular. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We constantly incubate intuitive, synergistic deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to grow.