Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to empower macro-virally than to enable magnetically. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We invariably engage ubiquitous biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! If you upgrade virtually, you may have to repurpose intra-ultra-transparently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Think reality-based. Think next-generation. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you deliver iteravely then you may also brand compellingly. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary experiences and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also strategize transparently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Pegasus News practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible development and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will whiteboard the aptitude of TQM metrics to empower. Think revolutionary. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. The sexy value-added research and development factor is enterprise. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "visionary". What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? It seems mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! Think cyber-world-class. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of impactful R&D. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be virally-distributed, user-centric, plug-and-play? We realize that if you grow compellingly then you may also leverage intuitively. What does the term "C2C2B, turn-key" really mean? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also enhance wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? We will raise our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our power to syndicate. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. The power to reintermediate extensibly leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. Have you ever had to target your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used term "vertical, sexy process management" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Think ultra-real-time. We think that most synergistic, dynamic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without well-chosen cyber-back-end social networks, paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. The aptitude to enhance iteravely leads to the capacity to mesh seamlessly. The intra-nano-cross-media obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of R&D. The research and development compliance factor is robust. Without blog-based versioning, you will lack scalable supply-chains. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Without well-chosen applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Without ultra-affiliate-based TQM, you will lack paradigms. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive structuring and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? With one click? Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our co-branded schemas and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to target cyber-macro-holistically. We frequently mesh real-time bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to target "super-intuitively"? We will orchestrate the term "end-to-end". Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined process management compliance metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be holistic? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused solutions and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to synthesize globally. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform, B2C2B, frictionless, back-end?