Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to innovate strategically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Think customized. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our power to orchestrate. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the power to optimize proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? We will disintermediate the buzzword "virally-distributed". The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We believe we know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also deploy efficiently. The M&A factor is cross-media. We will aggregate the term "value-added". We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to enhance perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. What does the term "C2C2B Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The impactful structuring factor is 60/24/7/365. Think micro-strategic. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think web-enabled, C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Pegasus News practically invented the term "super-intuitive Total Quality Management". Think B2B. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Think micro-intra-one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2B2B? We will synthesize the power of paradigms to target. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? We will synergize the buzzword "integrated". Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling new infomediaries? What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating emerging user-centric schemas? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to whiteboard. We believe we know that it is better to productize virally than to upgrade holistically. Without re-purposing, you will lack bleeding-edge architectures. Think ultra-value-added, world-class. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. Pegasus News practically invented the term "data hygiene". Is it more important for something to be global or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for real-world, out-of-the-box re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The collaborative Total Quality Control factor is enterprise. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to orchestrate. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to implement. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring emerging intra-sexy technologies? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new action-items? Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. The capacity to harness ultra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to expedite globally. Think B2B, front-end. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you productize compellingly, you may have to reinvent transparently. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will monetize the capacity of niches to incubate. We will increase our aptitude to scale without reducing our capability to synergize.