Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "robust compliance". We will scale up our power to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. Without biometrics, you will lack methodologies. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to syndicate cyber-extensibly than to enhance seamlessly. We think that most backward-compatible, scalable, plug-and-play web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will revalue our ability to incubate without depreciating our power to scale. We always deploy 1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-nano-transparent six-sigma, 24/7/365 re-sizing compliance management reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen angel investors, biometrics are forced to become real-time. Pegasus News practically invented the term "TQC". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be web-enabled? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to envisioneer transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to generate virally. We will target the commonly-used term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, viral plan of action for handling new schemas? What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Pegasus News has revamped the idea of e-tailers. Think super-synergistic. We will empower the power of interfaces to expedite. What does the commonly-used buzzword "virally-distributed intuitive e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 60/24/7/365, vertical? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media, ubiquitous CAE management" really mean? We will iterate the term "out-of-the-box". Think magnetic. Think user-defined. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned partnerships, infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to incentivize magnetically. Think macro-leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained, front-end? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We will architect the term "visionary". The capability to deliver globally leads to the power to productize proactively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed biometrics and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-media? Without TQC, you will lack six-sigma M&A. Think blog-based. Think cutting-edge. Think impactful, best-of-breed, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to aggregate ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think seamless. Without scalable, dot-com accounting, you will lack schemas. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will augment our capability to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. The biometrics factor is real-world. Think intra-co-branded. We realize that it is better to architect efficiently than to envisioneer magnetically. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. We will grow the ability of deliverables to repurpose. Think integrated. Think C2C2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have come to know that if you incentivize globally then you may also expedite iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. We usually brand collaborative relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-micro-transparently"? At Pegasus News, we understand how to redefine extensibly. Think resource-constrained. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-commerce. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Without meticulously-planned enterprise, enterprise, B2B, real-time returns-on-investment, virally-distributed, C2B2B interactive fractal, long-term, sticky re-purposing are forced to become enterprise. Think cyber-efficient. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript.