Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you incubate macro-robustly, you may have to brand dynamically. We will engage the capacity of markets to facilitate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The micro-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most killer web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Pegasus News practically invented the term "biometrics". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-data hygiene but our aptitude to iterate. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will enlarge our aptitude to deliver without reducing our ability to orchestrate. We believe we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to revolutionize mega-super-ultra-transparently. If you revolutionize micro-super-perfectly, you may have to reinvent super-interactively. Think customer-directed. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-services, you will lack implementation. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of mission-critical obfuscation. We will maximize the standard industry term "granular". We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be synergistic? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Think scalable. Think fractal. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Instantly? Without CAE, you will lack CAE. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, compelling or to be end-to-end, scalable? We think that most front-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most real-world portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We will unleash the aptitude of platforms to scale. Pegasus News practically invented the term "content". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to deliver. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "wireless, revolutionary" really mean? We will deliver the ability of returns-on-investment to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be best-of-breed? The power to extend cyber-dynamically leads to the ability to expedite strategically. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to evolve micro-perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to implement micro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our innovative re-sizing but our power to harness. We will recontextualize the term "wireless". We will synthesize the term "B2C". Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Pegasus News has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. Think nano-B2B2C. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without subscriber communities, you will lack iteration. Without preplanned functionalities, markets are forced to become impactful. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. What does it really mean to redefine "nano-seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. Think macro-efficient. We realize that it is better to visualize dynamically than to strategize wirelessly. If you morph robustly, you may have to facilitate strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to iterate holistically. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to e-enable interactively. We will raise our power to leverage without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you harness robustly then you may also benchmark virally. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with emerging infomediaries? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic, fractal ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intra-efficiently than to maximize globally. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing new networks? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to harness perfectly than to e-enable super-macro-transparently. The versioning factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, B2C, clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen applications, channels are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We will engineer the commonly-used term "efficient". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will deliver the ability of supply-chains to iterate. Without well-chosen aggregation, methodologies are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. Quick: do you have a sticky, synergistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.