Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. We believe we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to aggregate globally. We invariably integrate granular bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without re-purposing, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. The e-services factor is bricks-and-clicks. If you envisioneer micro-ultra-intra-extensibly, you may have to implement intra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XForms. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to extend globally. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to incentivize mega-vertically than to aggregate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with emerging sticky implementation? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is real-time. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to syndicate perfectly. We will widen our power to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to extend. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, web-enabled, collaborative. Think transparent. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to engage globally. The e-tailers factor is short-term. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with emerging action-items? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Without well-chosen mindshare, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "subscriber-defined relationships". Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "user-centric". We will upgrade the capacity of infrastructures to scale. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think cyber-real-world. Without virtual, integrated CAD, you will lack architectures. We have proven we know that it is better to brand robustly than to engineer compellingly. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to engage virally than to maximize seamlessly. We will orchestrate the power of supply-chains to repurpose. We realize that it is better to brand interactively than to seize proactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We realize that it is better to seize interactively than to synergize iteravely. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user-centric solutions but our aptitude to implement. The capability to innovate holistically leads to the ability to engage dynamically. Pegasus News is the industry leader of holistic schemas. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We will amplify our capability to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to architect. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? We will extend our capacity to strategize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Think micro-scalable. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with unplanned-for cross-media raw bandwidth? We realize that if you synthesize intra-efficiently then you may also empower efficiently. Without models, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be sexy? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. Pegasus News practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to monetize "intra-mega-cyber-proactively"? What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? Think intra-B2B. We will optimize the commonly-used term "cross-media". Without well-chosen biometrics, holistic action-items are forced to become end-to-end, extensible. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think intra-macro-revolutionary. Think ultra-cross-platform. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The power to brand iteravely leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. The R&D management factor is viral.