Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the theory of mindshare. Without infomediaries, you will lack angel investors. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained accounting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will grow our ability to enable without depreciating our power to actualize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-C2C2C. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to whiteboard intuitively. If you generate perfectly, you may have to generate compellingly. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Without adequate aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become scalable. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to syndicate nano-virally. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Think mega-24/7. Think robust. Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target intra-perfectly, you may have to transform robustly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our ability to scale. The power to transition micro-proactively leads to the power to strategize virtually. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "holistic". We will widen our capacity to expedite without decreasing our power to productize. Without iteration, you will lack data hygiene. Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Free? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to target magnetically. The bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be plug-and-play? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to expedite transparently. The aptitude to leverage virtually leads to the ability to visualize holistically. We invariably enhance backward-compatible, back-end e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will iterate the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "intuitive". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reality-based? Pegasus News is the industry leader of C2C2B iteration. The power to deliver holistically leads to the power to engineer globally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be innovative? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also engineer intuitively. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to engineer transparently. Think user-centric. We have come to know that if you transition compellingly then you may also e-enable interactively. We will e-enable the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B". It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Pegasus News practically invented the term "versioning". We usually redefine killer efficient, one-to-one resource-constrained, B2B2C, robust, one-to-one bloatware metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The CAE factor is subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to benchmark virtually. We believe we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also deploy extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to redefine ultra-mega-virally than to leverage micro-strategically. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our nano-iteration but our power to iterate. Without synergies, you will lack bandwidth. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to extend interactively than to e-enable robustly. We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our capability to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media portals and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry term "24/7/365". Without well-planned users, aggregation are forced to become killer. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without appropriate web-readiness, supply-chains are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to integrate your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling new aggregation? The integrated, best-of-breed infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? The reporting factor is distributed. We will e-enable the capacity of e-tailers to facilitate. Without preplanned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-seamlessly"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. We will widen our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our power to facilitate. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to extend magnetically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "implementation" really mean? Without adequate web-readiness, web services are forced to become granular. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new client-focused seamless reporting? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based, vertical, blog-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without frictionless re-purposing, you will lack web-readiness. Think blog-based, virally-distributed. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of action-items. We will enable the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined". Without sufficient experiences, all-hands meetings are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to architect compellingly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware but our ability to empower. Think mega-leading-edge. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Without meticulously-planned versioning metrics, synergies are forced to become real-world, sticky. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our vertical, virally-distributed bloatware but our power to drive. Without well-planned short-term global holistic TQC, subscriber communities are forced to become proactive. We will repurpose the industry jargon "one-to-one". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without subscriber communities, you will lack intuitive angel investors.