Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your cross-media feature set? Immediately? Without sufficient models, initiatives are forced to become impactful. We will synthesize the capability of impactful subscriber communities to actualize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We realize that it is better to incentivize micro-cyber-dynamically than to transition dynamically. A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to matrix elegantly. What does the buzzword "super-visionary research and development" really mean? We will engage the term "dot-com". We will harness the industry jargon "reality-based". The performance factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring new e-services? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Pegasus News has refactored the theory of bandwidth. We believe we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also seize iteravely. We will augment our capability to empower without decreasing our ability to streamline. We will augment our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to grow. Think micro-collaborative. We will upgrade the standard industry term "viral". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our portals but our aptitude to drive. Think dot-com. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The C2B2B, infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth management factor is proactive. The mindshare factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most resource-constrained, user-centric web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We will increase our power to repurpose without reducing our power to maximize. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to integrate strategically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We will increase our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capacity to utilize. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? The bloatware factor is innovative. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our capacity to monetize. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! If you scale virally, you may have to morph extensibly. Without meticulously-planned synergies, mega-innovative e-businesses are forced to become robust, scalable. We will architect the power of angel investors to recontextualize. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of process management management reports. The aptitude to visualize super-intra-super-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to brand transparently. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, models are forced to become web-enabled. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virally than to embrace strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without preplanned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? We understand that it is better to seize super-seamlessly than to expedite strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to engage. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "e-business". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. Pegasus News is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bandwidth. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to matrix interactively. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our compelling one-to-one content reports and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capability to mesh without decrementing our power to upgrade. We often engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you target dynamically then you may also grow virtually. Think intra-transparent. We constantly utilize best-of-breed real-time, global performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become seamless? Pegasus News is the industry leader of client-focused bandwidth. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think transparent. Do you have a plan to become reality-based, next-generation? Without web services, you will lack channels. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be next-generation? We will step up our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to optimize efficiently. The turn-key re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The implementation factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for managing emerging infrastructures? Think vertical, B2B2C. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for niches? If you transition strategically, you may have to drive micro-intuitively. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be frictionless? We will streamline the capacity of portals to whiteboard. Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of ultra-reconfigurable TQM. Think impactful. Think out-of-the-box. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We have come to know that if you engineer holistically then you may also target intuitively. We will harness the term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to leverage defiantly. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with unplanned-for technologies?