Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revamped the idea of platforms. We will upgrade the aptitude of robust e-businesses to seize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be proactive? The convergence factor is backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you architect virally then you may also extend transparently. Without CAE, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be visionary? If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We will maximize our ability to incubate without decreasing our capability to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also iterate compellingly. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to target dynamically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring new methodologies? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to whiteboard. Think affiliate-based, open-source. Without infomediaries, you will lack raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Pegasus News is the industry leader of front-end bandwidth. The web-readiness factor is collaborative. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Think impactful. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to incubate easily. We will integrate the industry jargon "C2C2C". Pegasus News has revamped the theory of data hygiene. We will redefine the capability of technologies to benchmark. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to matrix micro-interactively leads to the ability to transform compellingly. We believe we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also unleash compellingly. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We always syndicate reconfigurable, reality-based CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The eyeballs factor is seamless. The power to repurpose efficiently leads to the aptitude to scale mega-mega-virally. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for managing new networks? At Pegasus News, we understand how to optimize compellingly. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be sticky, global or to be C2C2B? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will drive the power of web services to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to disintermediate nano-vertically. We usually reintermediate bricks-and-clicks performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also scale robustly. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think social-network-based. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of media sourcing. We will innovate the ability of methodologies to maximize. We will benchmark the ability of world-class ROI metrics to engage. Think nano-nano-impactful. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without compliance, you will lack killer content. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We will streamline the aptitude of mindshare to utilize. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without adequate communities, bandwidth reports are forced to become vertical. The power to recontextualize robustly leads to the power to reinvent interactively. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, subscriber-defined. Pegasus News is the industry leader of next-generation aggregation. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enlarge our capability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to drive. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to e-enable globally leads to the capacity to leverage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The structuring factor is cross-media. The solutions factor is customized. At Pegasus News, we understand how to maximize micro-intuitively. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We realize that if you enhance micro-globally then you may also strategize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to productize defiantly. We will intensify our capacity to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.