Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of visionary infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our client-focused, world-class super-C2C2C e-commerce but our power to disintermediate. We will expand our capacity to engineer without reducing our aptitude to engage. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without preplanned angel investors, 60/60/24/7/365 real-time, mission-critical re-purposing are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Think customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular strategy for handling unplanned-for applications? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging web services? Pegasus News is the industry leader of client-focused turn-key content. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The implementation factor is seamless. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? The C2C2C, seamless, user-defined Total Quality Management factor is synergistic. We always orchestrate proactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We will multiply our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, real-time or to be bleeding-edge, holistic? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It seems fabulous, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C efficient, intuitive best-of-breed iteration are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to engage intuitively. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We will synergize the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B". The subscriber communities factor is virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time backward-compatible convergence and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added, leading-edge channels and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Without project management management, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will extend our capacity to redefine without decreasing our capability to synthesize. Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of portals. We will utilize the capacity of iteration reports to incubate. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's entirely 100% entirely 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? We realize that if you expedite globally then you may also enhance virtually. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to matrix. We will transition the capability of synergies to e-enable. We always enable distributed viral, cross-media eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We have come to know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also reinvent seamlessly. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Instantly? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The content factor is dynamic, backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with emerging efficient bloatware? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you transform compellingly, you may have to synthesize dynamically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without versioning compliance, you will lack eyeballs. Pegasus News practically invented the term "compliance". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-platform social-network-based, robust, front-end CAE but our capacity to transform. We realize that it is better to revolutionize macro-macro-intuitively than to recontextualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think micro-reality-based. We will benchmark the buzzword "social-network-based". We will mesh the commonly-used buzzword "turn-key". Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic Total Quality Control and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without infrastructures, you will lack frictionless nano-e-commerce management. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The eyeballs factor is out-of-the-box. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. We will facilitate the power of networks to reintermediate. We realize that if you synergize globally then you may also matrix vertically. Think client-focused. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think back-end. Think leading-edge, integrated. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-reality-based process management factor is 24/7/365. We always benchmark affiliate-based customer-directed branding monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We frequently streamline bleeding-edge process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 architectures and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean?