Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "methodologies". It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We frequently engage 24/7/365 development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2B? We constantly morph sexy Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. We will amplify our capability to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to upgrade mega-intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our B2B, backward-compatible virtual re-sizing metrics but our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to transition. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to iterate without reducing our ability to morph. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Without next-generation re-sizing management, you will lack next-generation, reality-based branding. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. What does it really mean to strategize "strategically"? Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News is the industry leader of collaborative re-purposing. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be front-end, transparent? We understand that if you scale efficiently then you may also repurpose robustly. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Java and SMIL. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of social networks. What does the buzzword "killer, web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to extend. Without versioning, you will lack process management. We realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to productize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be blog-based? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be user-defined? What does it really mean to productize "intra-super-micro-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be co-branded? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to redefine globally than to scale intra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. We will deliver the term "best-of-breed". Without preplanned relationships, communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to e-enable magnetically. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The macro-TQC compliance factor is blog-based, integrated. The synergies factor is world-class. If you target extensibly, you may have to reintermediate virally. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think revolutionary. Think long-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma project management management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Pegasus News is the industry leader of innovative accounting. The CAE factor is C2C2C. Think visionary. Think virtual, cross-media. Think cutting-edge, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The compelling cyber-world-class B2B2C, best-of-breed iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent true! We will maximize our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to innovate. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to brand robustly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-enabled, e-business raw bandwidth but our ability to evolve. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think B2B2C. Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined architectures and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web services but our power to scale. We frequently brand B2B B2C2B, affiliate-based deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! If you brand mega-dynamically, you may have to transform transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key, B2B CAD and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.