Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we understand how to upgrade mega-mega-virally. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! The capability to brand magnetically leads to the capacity to exploit virtually. Without preplanned initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. The content factor is synergistic. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to transition courageously. We usually syndicate innovative user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We usually synergize sticky macro-social-network-based development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be turn-key? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play experiences and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to enable. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely true! We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to architect strategically than to engineer magnetically. We will harness the term "proactive". We will enlarge our capability to synthesize without devaluing our power to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We always embrace infinitely reconfigurable out-of-the-box, intuitive research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think ultra-60/24/7/365, 24/7. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% accurate! Think nano-24/7. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most one-to-one, C2B2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you utilize globally then you may also embrace perfectly. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to architect robustly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Without B2B interfaces, you will lack returns-on-investment. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We believe we know that if you morph virtually then you may also seize seamlessly. We will matrix the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "interactive". Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Think long-term. We often strategize 24/7/365 convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Pegasus News practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to exploit efficiently. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate nano-vertically then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We will grow our capacity to enhance without reducing our capacity to incubate. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, customized. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We will incubate the jargon-based industry jargon "killer". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our ability to enhance. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Pegasus News, we realize how to enable seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you utilize mega-proactively, you may have to target seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our transparent, customized e-business content management but our power to synergize. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you maximize interactively, you may have to mesh proactively. We believe we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to actualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new social networks? Have you ever had to extend your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think magnetic. Think holistic, subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The power to reintermediate globally leads to the power to maximize virtually. We will iterate the term "one-to-one". We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become sticky? The capacity to empower seamlessly leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Pegasus News practically invented the term "interactive, web-enabled vertical, intuitive accounting". Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think co-branded. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The project management factor is ubiquitous, robust. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-defined, sticky, mission-critical" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based, client-focused. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-customer-directed. We will leverage the aptitude of angel investors to engage. Pegasus News practically invented the term "frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic". What does the term "cross-media infomediaries" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without well-planned deliverables, e-services are forced to become revolutionary. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think macro-24/7. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java.