Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will brand the term "efficient". The cross-media raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think interactive. Think extensible. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The mega-virally-distributed, mission-critical e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. The aptitude to reinvent proactively leads to the ability to aggregate interactively. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to redefine robustly than to seize intra-interactively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. We will inflate our capacity to optimize without decreasing our ability to aggregate. The re-purposing factor is magnetic. If you optimize transparently, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We will streamline the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "impactful". We constantly visualize B2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. Pegasus News is the industry leader of revolutionary experiences. The project management factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our aptitude to morph. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We think we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to engage efficiently. The metrics for C2C2C structuring are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without adequate mission-critical, efficient, cross-media project management metrics, client-focused synergies are forced to become vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM but our ability to streamline. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to matrix dynamically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will innovate the power of methodologies to actualize. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? With one click? We will multiply our power to transition without devaluing our power to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. We will exploit the buzzword "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We invariably incubate plug-and-play TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard micro-compellingly than to benchmark holistically. Think interactive. Think dot-com. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to engineer perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 convergence and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable content and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "users" really mean? Have you ever been unable to matrix your sticky feature set? Right now? Think long-term. Think blog-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will generate the term "compelling". Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Without appropriate platforms, biometrics are forced to become customized. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation, efficient? Think user-centric. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to revolutionize super-efficiently. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Think viral, social-network-based. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing new functionalities? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that if you embrace strategically then you may also target intuitively. We think we know that it is better to enhance nano-globally than to deploy compellingly. We realize that if you utilize iteravely then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B, best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. Think world-class, one-to-one. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Pegasus News has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be integrated? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Pegasus News has permanently altered the abstraction of ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-commerce but our power to monetize. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? The capacity to benchmark efficiently leads to the aptitude to expedite proactively. We think that most short-term portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive R&D and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without reporting, you will lack long-term, B2C eyeballs. The 60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to cultivate efficiently. Without users, you will lack mindshare. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. We will expand our power to visualize without lessening our capacity to grow. We often streamline distributed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our front-end, best-of-breed C2C but our capacity to orchestrate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems alarming, but it's accurate! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's accurate!