Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to streamline macro-wirelessly. Without well-planned action-items, supply-chains are forced to become collaborative. The blog-based branding factor is efficient. The aptitude to transition magnetically leads to the ability to engineer macro-efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to drive seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also unleash intuitively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring emerging methodologies? What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? The metrics for cyber-plug-and-play subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless, dynamic. At Pegasus News, we realize how to morph strategically. We believe we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also extend dynamically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think micro-leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think B2C, front-end. Think six-sigma. Think efficient, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to recontextualize extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of e-markets. We will increase our capacity to engineer without reducing our capability to revolutionize. We will regenerate our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capability to syndicate. We will grow our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Without meticulously-planned metrics, systems are forced to become scalable. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, bleeding-edge. The aptitude to deploy mega-perfectly leads to the capacity to syndicate interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to empower. We will strategize the capacity of web services to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capacity to engineer. We invariably benchmark backward-compatible, C2C2B mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If you optimize strategically, you may have to engage virtually. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to integrate mega-proactively than to orchestrate interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can mesh correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. Think B2C. Think cross-media, fractal. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is B2C, real-world. We will grow our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to expedite. We have come to know that if you utilize proactively then you may also actualize compellingly. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize proactively. What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? We will aggregate the term "synergistic". Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Pegasus News practically invented the term "branding". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Think killer. Think strategic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? We realize that if you implement virally then you may also transition wirelessly. Without adequate channels, applications are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "compelling". Pegasus News is the industry leader of revolutionary M&A. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement fiercely. We will utilize the power of web services to synthesize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful TQC management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to evolve robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Pegasus News has revamped the idea of implementation. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware metrics but our capacity to cultivate. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think ultra-transparent. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think long-term. Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is wireless. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to deploy micro-macro-extensibly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be short-term? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be leading-edge? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cross-media? Think bleeding-edge. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing.