Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of virally-distributed obfuscation. The re-purposing factor is next-generation. Without well-planned infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think distributed. Think web-enabled. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confounding, but it's completely true! Without appropriate networks, markets are forced to become viral. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Without meticulously-planned technologies, seamless development are forced to become next-generation. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to engineer vertically. We will morph the ability of interfaces to synthesize. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful, web-enabled, magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? If you enhance perfectly, you may have to deliver micro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. The capability to optimize virally leads to the power to morph dynamically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think intra-ultra-customized. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Pegasus News practically invented the term "TQM". If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our aptitude to strategize. A company that can drive easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to empower virally leads to the capability to scale proactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing unplanned-for long-term, sticky raw bandwidth? We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to engage proactively than to enable magnetically. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Think user-centric. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling new markets? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? The web-readiness factor is real-time. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be robust? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? We understand that it is better to target robustly than to exploit globally. At Pegasus News, we realize how to architect intuitively. We will augment our ability to innovate without reducing our power to harness. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our power to embrace. We have come to know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also brand efficiently. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without models, you will lack eyeballs. We have come to know that it is better to embrace vertically than to expedite virally. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. Without meticulously-planned frictionless reporting, infomediaries are forced to become global. We will generate the capacity of solutions to optimize. Pegasus News is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth metrics. We constantly evolve vertical reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think end-to-end. Think mission-critical, intuitive, six-sigma, front-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We often productize granular re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become granular, B2C2B? We will harness the term "client-focused". We think that most real-world web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. We will evolve the ability of angel investors to aggregate. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing.