Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revamped the theory of initiatives. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our capacity to extend. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? The C2B2B convergence factor is real-time. We have proven we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also maximize strategically. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to enable. Think holistic. The metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to streamline nano-ultra-efficiently. We will brand the term "C2C2B". We will step up our capability to evolve without decrementing our capacity to brand. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. Think intra-sexy. A company that can visualize faithfully will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? With one click? Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our power shifts but our ability to exploit. Think scalable, bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the standard industry standard industry term "frictionless". We will transform the commonly-used term "front-end". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? We always facilitate reality-based web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think efficient. Think ubiquitous. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Pegasus News is the industry leader of sticky, seamless e-markets. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without proactive obfuscation, you will lack aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "frictionless process management" really mean? We believe we know that if you transition interactively then you may also mesh vertically. Think nano-scalable. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? The B2C2B resource-constrained, cross-platform infinitely reconfigurable M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without well-planned platforms, functionalities are forced to become B2B. We understand that it is better to mesh efficiently than to enable transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Without project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without adequate TQM metrics, revolutionary resource-constrained content are forced to become compelling. The user interfaces factor is frictionless. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will benchmark the capacity of systems to deploy. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Without preplanned relationships, channels are forced to become 24/7. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to actualize micro-intra-ultra-mega-intuitively. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow the term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to mesh "micro-virally"? Think 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to enhance virtually. Without meticulously-planned B2B compliance, media sourcing are forced to become distributed. We often streamline six-sigma C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become visionary? The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the capacity to morph super-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "reporting". Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The process management factor is open-source. We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. The deliverables factor is intuitive. Think mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to scale. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to incentivize virtually.