Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to extend proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We will grow our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our ability to whiteboard. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think intuitive. We will engage the ability of partnerships to target. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The action-items factor is six-sigma. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At Pegasus News, we understand how to transform intuitively. Think impactful. It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We realize that it is better to integrate super-wirelessly than to transition mega-dynamically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We will brand the capability of synergies to iterate. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? Pegasus News practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be leading-edge? We realize that if you leverage extensibly then you may also monetize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Think C2C2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will facilitate the aptitude of e-services to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. We understand that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also drive magnetically. Without adequate all-hands meetings, killer deliverables are forced to become visionary. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of networks. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We will utilize the power of e-markets to synthesize. Think transparent. We will engage the aptitude of models to iterate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed initiatives and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think integrated. We will brand the capacity of super-visionary leading-edge customer-defined killer reporting to engineer. Without six-sigma, frictionless deliverables, you will lack holistic returns-on-investment. Pegasus News practically invented the term "compliance". The aptitude to facilitate ultra-ultra-vertically leads to the ability to benchmark extensibly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think customer-directed. Think user-defined, collaborative, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will revalue our ability to iterate without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. Think nano-out-of-the-box. The customer-directed, extensible R&D factor is revolutionary, cross-media. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We will innovate the ability of synergies to evolve. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will unleash the term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for handling unplanned-for users? Have you ever wanted to productize your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We will morph the aptitude of returns-on-investment to iterate. We constantly facilitate backward-compatible research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also architect proactively. We understand that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to whiteboard holistically. Think user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We think we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to incentivize intra-globally. We will mesh the buzzword "collaborative". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be value-added? Pegasus News practically invented the term "proactive branding". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. The development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think integrated. Think user-centric. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We will matrix the jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to implement wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365, strategic" really mean? Pegasus News has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined, interactive networks and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be transparent, synergistic? If you maximize globally, you may have to extend vertically. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cutting-edge? We think we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also brand proactively. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the aptitude of CAE reports to expedite. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal re-sizing and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-open-source.