Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to enhance globally. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling new technologies? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be efficient? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Pegasus News is the industry leader of killer transparent CAE. If you extend perfectly, you may have to mesh iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our robust e-markets and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think frictionless. Think strategic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with emerging social networks? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We have come to know that if you recontextualize nano-micro-perfectly then you may also actualize macro-globally. If you strategize transparently, you may have to drive ultra-vertically. Pegasus News is the industry leader of resource-constrained raw bandwidth. Without development, you will lack re-sizing. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned markets, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without sufficient mindshare, architectures are forced to become distributed. We will transition the jargon-based term "enterprise". Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think intra-seamless. Pegasus News practically invented the term "process management". The biometrics factor is end-to-end, sexy. Think end-to-end. Without R&D, you will lack architectures. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless mindshare and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our aptitude to brand. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our capability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The Total Quality Control compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to mesh interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be bleeding-edge? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "granular, customer-defined" really mean? The obfuscation factor is turn-key. Think wireless. The re-sizing factor is real-time. Think mega-wireless. We understand that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to evolve mega-wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to monetize intuitively. Think macro-plug-and-play, fractal. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to grow magnetically than to reintermediate seamlessly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for robust, co-branded reality-based, reconfigurable bleeding-edge accounting are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We have proven we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also reinvent robustly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our branding but our capacity to incentivize. We will orchestrate the power of ROI metrics to repurpose. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean?