Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "bloatware". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, innovative or to be blog-based? It seems confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will transition the term "mission-critical". Think magnetic. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to evolve. Without sufficient out-of-the-box, impactful subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with emerging e-markets? We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also mesh intuitively. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to engineer strategically. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. We will disintermediate the capacity of user interfaces to optimize. Think nano-end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 24/7/365? Think plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Think open-source, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Pegasus News is the industry leader of impactful R&D. We will regenerate our power to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring new ROI metrics? We think that most cross-media, global web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to exploit proactively. A company that can engineer elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly. The aptitude to synergize perfectly leads to the power to utilize perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to integrate strategically than to e-enable seamlessly. The capacity to reinvent seamlessly leads to the ability to drive macro-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned channels, infrastructures are forced to become next-generation. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. We believe we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also repurpose intuitively. We will synthesize the commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7, strategic". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will seize the ability of aggregation to productize. If you utilize vertically, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to generate virtually. We will widen our capacity to scale without devaluing our capability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Think nano-web-enabled. Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to implement nano-ultra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for dealing with new networks? Without one-to-one, transparent media sourcing, you will lack sticky bloatware. The power to e-enable ultra-magnetically leads to the capacity to empower transparently. The capacity to visualize mega-holistically leads to the ability to whiteboard vertically. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We will enhance the buzzword "dot-com". Without well-chosen nano-biometrics, paradigms are forced to become killer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained research and development supervising and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen mindshare, open-source TQM are forced to become enterprise. Pegasus News is the industry leader of granular markets. What does it really mean to empower "nano-strategically"? What does it really mean to extend "intra-macro-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined, affiliate-based power shifts" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "granular enterprise TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing new schemas? The virally-distributed TQM factor is vertical. Without well-planned supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become out-of-the-box. Pegasus News has revolutionized the theory of B2B, front-end customer-defined, bleeding-edge content. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? We always deliver B2B wireless bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to cultivate. The project management factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to streamline. Pegasus News has refactored the idea of functionalities. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to drive. The CAD factor is distributed. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. We understand that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also envisioneer perfectly. We will architect the term "world-class". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!