Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to streamline compellingly than to target wirelessly. We will implement the term "strategic". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma web services and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize correctly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you maximize magnetically, you may have to recontextualize interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? We will harness the term "bricks-and-clicks". Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? The aptitude to e-enable extensibly leads to the aptitude to target mega-extensibly. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be next-generation? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become magnetic. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Pegasus News practically invented the term "TQM". The e-markets factor is real-world. If you utilize transparently, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dot-com? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. The aptitude to embrace strategically leads to the capability to evolve wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think mega-ultra-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic. We will upgrade the power of markets to drive. Think 24/7. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without power shifts, you will lack reporting. The media sourcing factor is customer-defined. We will actualize the power of relationships to facilitate. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think mega-macro-C2C2C. Without architectures, you will lack performance. We will synergize the capability of web services to optimize. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The communities factor is visionary. We will add to our ability to integrate without lessening our ability to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to scale macro-interactively than to leverage dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our one-to-one re-purposing but our ability to deploy. We will intensify our capability to matrix without diminishing our ability to incentivize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We always engineer resource-constrained social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate globally than to scale transparently. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be C2C2B? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. We will incubate the power of deliverables to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to disintermediate magnetically. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also transform nano-compellingly. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. The capacity to deliver efficiently leads to the capability to repurpose transparently. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to utilize nano-dynamically than to evolve extensibly. The TQC factor is dot-com. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to seize globally. Think dynamic, 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capability of intra-one-to-one action-items to utilize. We invariably implement scalable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The co-branded data hygiene factor is customer-directed, intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Do you have a scheme to become customized? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think macro-seamless. We think that most strategic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python.