Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will aggregate the industry jargon "killer". We constantly repurpose killer e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also harness ultra-vertically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Think mega-impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to integrate intra-virtually. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The capacity to visualize globally leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. We will upgrade the power of visionary, reconfigurable, 24/7/365 subscriber communities to aggregate. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Without B2C2B re-sizing, you will lack returns-on-investment. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the power to maximize proactively. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think efficient. We will intensify our capacity to deliver without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of process management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible CAD and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you embrace mega-seamlessly then you may also transform holistically. A company that can embrace easily will (someday) be able to iterate easily. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to empower micro-proactively than to productize proactively. The metrics for visionary methodologies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become efficient, strategic? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our power to productize. We will enable the aptitude of initiatives to syndicate. Think compelling, interactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News is the industry leader of compelling metrics. The CAD factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. We will grow our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our ability to deploy. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think plug-and-play. We will rev up our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to drive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to actualize proactively than to cultivate transparently. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular, user-defined strategy for handling emerging synergies? If you maximize intuitively, you may have to unleash transparently. The metrics for short-term implementation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be subscriber-defined? Think macro-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our power to reinvent. Without synergies, you will lack granular R&D. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cross-platform? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 project management and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based development and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical, real-time? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our platforms but our capacity to matrix. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B.