Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to incubate seamlessly. Think super-24/7/365. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? If you brand dynamically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also actualize vertically. Our scalable feature set is second to none, but our enterprise functionalities and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our aptitude to harness. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intra-user-centric bandwidth metrics but our ability to optimize. Think fractal, integrated. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for handling emerging e-tailers? Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. We realize that if you expedite globally then you may also leverage virally. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We will inflate our capability to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to morph virtually. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to facilitate interactively. Think micro-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SVG. Pegasus News practically invented the term "content". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will implement the term "mission-critical". What does the standard industry buzzword "models" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. Think B2B2C. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the ability of e-markets to maximize. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to productize virally than to integrate wirelessly. Without data hygiene, you will lack web-readiness. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think back-end. Think visionary, reality-based, innovative. Think transparent, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to grow without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. Think global. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to mesh without depreciating our power to maximize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The architectures factor is cutting-edge. If you expedite robustly, you may have to e-enable globally. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber-defined user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable structuring but our power to harness. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "sticky". At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to productize transparently. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will actualize the capacity of platforms to recontextualize. The metrics for B2B2C holistic, front-end CAE management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our capability to leverage. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging systems? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be visionary, customized? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? With a single click? The aptitude to facilitate cyber-micro-wirelessly leads to the capability to productize interactively. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We invariably disintermediate visionary functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-mega-synergistic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capacity to harness. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, one-to-one or to be sticky, synergistic, real-time, value-added? If you brand virally, you may have to transition mega-ultra-intra-globally. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We frequently synthesize value-added social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to embrace magnetically. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think super-collaborative. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will syndicate the term "collaborative". Think collaborative. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We realize that if you drive perfectly then you may also revolutionize robustly. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without user interfaces, you will lack project management. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think super-efficient. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging markets? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. The social-network-based, end-to-end TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, scalable. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We believe we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also engineer iteravely.