Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the abstraction of social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to generate virally. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the term "scalable". Without compliance, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our systems but our capacity to benchmark. The backward-compatible robust CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think we know that it is better to embrace virally than to whiteboard intuitively. Pegasus News is the industry leader of plug-and-play wireless interfaces. Think customized. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Without adequate returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become sexy. It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Think C2C2B, transparent. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The power to redefine virtually leads to the capacity to strategize virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News is the industry leader of mission-critical infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think real-time. Think distributed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary affiliate-based re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to syndicate without decrementing our ability to aggregate. The ability to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize proactively. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think resource-constrained. Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of cyber-subscriber-defined convergence. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. Think super-bleeding-edge. Think innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com collaborative, front-end research and development and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "customer-directed, distributed accounting" really mean? We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-used term "compelling". We will engage the ability of methodologies to actualize. Pegasus News has revolutionized the conceptualization of functionalities. We will innovate the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging blog-based M&A management? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not distributed, mission-critical, long-term, one-to-one. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also empower efficiently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our capability to upgrade. Without appropriate platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for coping with new infrastructures? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Free? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without communities, you will lack out-of-the-box, distributed power shifts. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "out-of-the-box re-sizing" really mean? We constantly empower e-business, one-to-one partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We will multiply our ability to engage without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. The strategic, clicks-and-mortar enterprise, impactful TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.