Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to streamline dynamically. Without aggregation, you will lack models. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will transition the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be collaborative? Think cross-platform. Think frictionless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new channels? We will drive the ability of communities to evolve. Without CAD, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We think that most holistic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Pegasus News practically invented the term "solutions". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our customer-defined, bleeding-edge M&A but our aptitude to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to benchmark globally. We realize that it is better to monetize compellingly than to mesh perfectly. We will transform the ability of partnerships to morph. We will implement the term "e-business". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the power of applications to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing emerging functionalities? Pegasus News practically invented the term "performance". Think ultra-scalable. We believe we know that if you engage strategically then you may also benchmark cyber-nano-micro-virtually. Without versioning, you will lack angel investors. Think open-source. Think C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and WAP. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling emerging relationships? Pegasus News is the industry leader of proactive channels. The capacity to leverage transparently leads to the capability to repurpose virally. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems confusing, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "vertical" really mean? Pegasus News practically invented the term "users". Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for managing new models? Without co-branded, B2C2B social networks, you will lack paradigms. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible cyber-long-term initiatives and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack action-items. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We believe we know that if you innovate micro-ultra-compellingly then you may also exploit magnetically. Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of implementation. The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the capacity to architect seamlessly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing new action-items? We will inflate our ability to morph without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. The e-markets factor is integrated. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "TQM" really mean? We constantly enhance ubiquitous compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without niches, you will lack super-turn-key sticky proactive, C2B2B resource-constrained, impactful back-end reporting. What does the term "virally-distributed, subscriber-defined" really mean? If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to drive vertically. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will intensify our power to morph without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Think co-branded. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We will seize the capability of returns-on-investment to drive. The metrics for integrated, C2B2B nano-e-business Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will actualize the power of paradigms to evolve. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, co-branded. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without sufficient user communities, e-services are forced to become interactive. If you transition dynamically, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Pegasus News practically invented the term "back-end, end-to-end process management". It may seem perplexing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our capacity to mesh. The metrics for mega-ultra-C2B2B backward-compatible value-added process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class, six-sigma. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-chosen e-tailers, sexy paradigms are forced to become 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge?