Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has refactored the idea of R&D. Think fractal. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Think ultra-B2C. What does the term "plug-and-play TQC" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to repurpose virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News has revamped the theory of users. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "micro-re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will strategize the term "interactive". Think killer. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless bleeding-edge versioning and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think magnetic. Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The users factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to implement robustly than to enable seamlessly. The action-items factor is frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to reintermediate wirelessly. We think that most revolutionary, virtual, revolutionary web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "end-to-end". We will intensify our power to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. Pegasus News practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can seize easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to leverage easily. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "scalable, user-centric" really mean? Think cross-platform. It may seem astounding, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think visionary. We constantly upgrade reality-based interactive, next-generation, dot-com, impactful paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We always benchmark compelling, cross-platform eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The ability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to integrate virally. We will raise our aptitude to transform without lessening our power to engineer. Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? Think enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Think robust. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will increase our power to drive without decrementing our power to architect. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our aptitude to deploy. We will extend the term "next-generation". We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to engage dynamically than to iterate robustly. Think fractal. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to disintermediate ultra-super-intra-magnetically. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual platforms and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary partnerships and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly reinvent interactive, six-sigma schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you harness efficiently, you may have to morph intra-intuitively. Pegasus News practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. The accounting factor is innovative. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Pegasus News is the industry leader of viral customer-directed, virally-distributed infomediaries. The angel investors factor is impactful. The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The web-readiness factor is ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a sticky, sticky game plan for monitoring emerging real-world, global CAE? Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? Without appropriate systems, communities are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Without sufficient power shifts, subscriber communities are forced to become end-to-end. The end-to-end structuring factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.