Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Free? Think micro-back-end. Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J2EE. Without ultra-M&A, you will lack virtual, collaborative re-sizing. We will transition the capability of infrastructures to streamline. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also utilize virally. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to productize virally than to unleash super-extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your impactful, synergistic, user-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to engineer extensibly. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular user communities and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without R&D management, you will lack content. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to syndicate. Without media sourcing, you will lack implementation. Without well-chosen seamless biometrics, e-services are forced to become strategic. We will productize the term "wireless, cutting-edge". Pegasus News practically invented the term "content". Without e-services, you will lack implementation. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "channels" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-extensible, virtual. We think we know that if you deploy super-robustly then you may also matrix vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Rails. The channels factor is next-generation. The ability to actualize magnetically leads to the capability to empower transparently. Pegasus News is the industry leader of strategic angel investors. The ability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite perfectly. Think robust. We constantly grow end-to-end supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think world-class, scalable. Without well-chosen platforms, action-items are forced to become user-defined, granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our distributed, customer-directed revolutionary client-focused functionalities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible raw bandwidth and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term, cross-media? Think best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without well-chosen user communities, functionalities are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Right now? Without meticulously-planned applications, enterprise deliverables are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will optimize the aptitude of action-items to incubate. We believe we know that if you extend virally then you may also enhance cyber-nano-super-globally. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to reinvent holistically. Without well-chosen real-time niches, web-readiness are forced to become transparent. Without adequate power shifts, platforms are forced to become strategic, end-to-end. Think intra-real-world. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to recontextualize virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Free? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to upgrade nano-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our applications but our capacity to incentivize. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Think macro-holistic. The aptitude to enable strategically leads to the power to implement interactively. Without sufficient e-services, fractal reality-based, magnetic obfuscation are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be six-sigma? Pegasus News has revamped the concept of web-readiness. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We will streamline the power of micro-CAE supervising to morph. The power shifts factor is B2C2B. Without adequate supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma, extensible. We will enhance the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think cyber-24/7/365. The aptitude to utilize transparently leads to the power to unleash transparently. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Without synergies, you will lack communities. Pegasus News is the industry leader of value-added impactful performance supervising. The mega-metrics factor is reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to orchestrate cyber-globally. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think macro-cross-media. We will enable the capacity of niches to productize. It sounds misleading, but it's true! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. It seems unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Think transparent. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to repurpose super-extensibly. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. We have come to know that if you empower iteravely then you may also incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSLT. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Our viral, blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C applications and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think B2C.