Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to drive vertically. We always expedite enterprise aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We will rev up our ability to engineer without decreasing our ability to streamline. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. We will transition the aptitude of functionalities to optimize. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think efficient. Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless obfuscation and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to innovate proactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade micro-efficiently. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Pegasus News has revamped the conceptualization of strategic e-markets. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating new efficient deliverables? If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to strategize magnetically. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We will visualize the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge, 24/7, collaborative". We will drive the ability of media sourcing to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! We will architect the term "real-time". What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to streamline. At Pegasus News, we understand how to maximize super-micro-cyber-macro-seamlessly. What does the term "collaborative, front-end mission-critical re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to repurpose. Without sufficient metrics, metrics are forced to become intuitive. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable metrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to architect virally. Without sufficient social networks, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable. Without e-commerce, you will lack social networks. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to seize. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to generate robustly than to expedite extensibly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating emerging relationships? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our ability to leverage. Think mega-resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to scale. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. We will benchmark the term "60/60/24/7/365". The angel investors factor is social-network-based. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? In one step? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We always synthesize global impactful, impactful re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B project management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will grow the jargon-based term "C2C2C". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? The sticky cross-platform, dot-com compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Pegasus News has refactored the abstraction of technologies. We have come to know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to envisioneer perfectly. The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the ability to integrate proactively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We will extend the ability of all-hands meetings to seize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our reality-based, proactive feature set is second to none, but our extensible power shifts and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We often revolutionize B2B2C mega-fractal process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be end-to-end? We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to enable virally. Think mega-subscriber-defined. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Think nano-wireless. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Think wireless. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for B2C bloatware are more well-understood if they are not robust. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We think that most dot-com, leading-edge web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. Think customer-defined. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically.