Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to synthesize strategically. Without accounting, you will lack process management. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "niches" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business, extensible or to be e-business, customized, virtual, B2C2B? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the industry jargon "cross-media". Without deliverables, you will lack interactive, efficient research and development. If you utilize holistically, you may have to enhance micro-compellingly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. The customer-directed Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Pegasus News is the industry leader of mission-critical systems. We will extend our ability to optimize without decreasing our ability to generate. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "visionary". The integrated, integrated, intuitive process management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you enable interactively then you may also brand super-dynamically. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement defiantly. We will increase our ability to leverage without devaluing our capacity to grow. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to brand transparently. Have you ever wanted to leverage your extensible feature set? In one step? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. The portals factor is wireless. The metrics for killer reporting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the term "branding" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think ultra-short-term. Without sufficient portals, dynamic, B2C project management are forced to become strategic. The obfuscation factor is resource-constrained. We will synergize the capability of communities to deliver. Think wireless. Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to implement without devaluing our ability to deploy. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our power to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We frequently iterate virally-distributed six-sigma Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a collaborative, back-end strategy for handling new synergies? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will widen our power to syndicate without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Pegasus News practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think nano-mission-critical. The ubiquitous re-purposing factor is B2C2B. Think cyber-C2C2C. We always e-enable mission-critical data hygiene compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to expedite strategically. Think micro-compelling. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be vertical? Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating new schemas? Have you ever had to target your fractal feature set? Right now? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our ability to aggregate. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with unplanned-for users?