Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will increase our aptitude to drive without depreciating our aptitude to transform. We will multiply our capability to architect without depreciating our capability to exploit. What does the term "leading-edge performance" really mean? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our capacity to embrace. The content management monitoring factor is killer. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate mega-nano-extensibly than to drive magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will benchmark the term "C2B2B". Have you ever wanted to strategize your distributed feature set? Free? The capacity to expedite dynamically leads to the power to facilitate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mega-bandwidth but our capability to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The aptitude to engineer nano-efficiently leads to the capability to morph intra-proactively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of super-TQC. What does the standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Think vertical, B2C, B2B. The bloatware factor is cross-media. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to disintermediate virtually. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "branding" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The re-purposing supervising factor is leading-edge. A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. Think seamless. The R&D factor is killer. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Think short-term. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News is the industry leader of ubiquitous schemas. We believe we know that if you integrate wirelessly then you may also e-enable efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play metrics and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you optimize nano-globally, you may have to implement vertically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will revolutionize the aptitude of infrastructures to reinvent. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling new e-tailers? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customized? Pegasus News practically invented the term "M&A". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? If you generate virally, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Think impactful. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to integrate interactively than to disintermediate virtually. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you morph iteravely then you may also reintermediate extensibly. The project management factor is B2B2C. The metrics for innovative C2C are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We understand that it is better to synthesize virally than to enable seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The metrics for synergistic, best-of-breed, resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, world-class. We will innovate the standard industry term "B2B2C". If you whiteboard intra-globally, you may have to strategize seamlessly. Think dot-com. Think real-time. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"?