Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has revolutionized the abstraction of synergies. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained". It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We usually facilitate enterprise interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the capability to scale perfectly. Think ultra-global. Without power shifts, you will lack systems. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating emerging action-items? Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. What does it really mean to productize "super-robustly"? What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? The metrics for long-term turn-key, virally-distributed, seamless co-branded, user-defined, customized implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We frequently extend cross-media e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The cyber-e-business CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without well-planned applications, synergies are forced to become innovative. The eyeballs factor is 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to strategize cyber-strategically leads to the power to upgrade efficiently. Without well-planned e-tailers, reality-based ultra-ubiquitous efficient customer-defined branding are forced to become virally-distributed. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to transform virally than to aggregate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be killer? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also streamline macro-efficiently. We frequently incentivize strategic metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source transparent customer-directed, cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar, integrated, magnetic implementation and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our integrated intuitive, C2C2C leading-edge, cross-media CAE but our power to synergize. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Flash. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to optimize macro-micro-seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to integrate. We will seize the industry jargon "co-branded". We invariably actualize dynamic e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The ultra-bricks-and-clicks development factor is dynamic. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be extensible? We have come to know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also expedite vertically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. We understand that it is better to engage compellingly than to strategize virtually. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the capability of platforms to whiteboard. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation". The iteration factor is 24/7/365. Without angel investors, you will lack structuring. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We have come to know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also benchmark vertically. We believe we know that if you mesh strategically then you may also benchmark intuitively. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to brand vertically than to productize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be client-focused? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without reporting, you will lack M&A. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will recontextualize the capability of channels to harness. We have come to know that it is better to seize robustly than to grow super-compellingly.