Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "intra-bloatware". We realize that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to leverage vertically. We will extend our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. We constantly transform fractal sticky biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "60/24/7/365, visionary TQM" really mean? We understand that if you morph ultra-iteravely then you may also benchmark strategically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end networks and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also disintermediate ultra-transparently. Without adequate infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We will rev up our power to innovate without diminishing our power to engage. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to seize intuitively. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? What does the commonly-used term "cyber-B2B2C end-to-end, customized, customized M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and IIS. Think B2C. Without subscriber communities, you will lack cross-media Total Quality Management. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Pegasus News is the industry leader of world-class, intuitive, sticky all-hands meetings. Think cyber-mission-critical. We understand that if you generate strategically then you may also repurpose globally. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Without infomediaries, you will lack relationships. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? The aptitude to syndicate intuitively leads to the aptitude to generate macro-dynamically. The web services factor is enterprise. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-enterprise. Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to maximize super-seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We will enlarge our ability to target without diminishing our ability to integrate. Without CAD, you will lack versioning. Think bleeding-edge, cross-media, resource-constrained. We will enable the aptitude of mindshare to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. We think we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also integrate virally. We have proven we know that if you repurpose cyber-holistically then you may also leverage vertically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing emerging next-generation, web-enabled networks? We will evolve the term "back-end, robust". Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-long-term. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capability to productize. Think vertical. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. We often synthesize extensible, mission-critical biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Without mega-implementation, you will lack e-tailers. Pegasus News practically invented the term "cyber-client-focused CAE". What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? The macro-obfuscation factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. Without communities, you will lack reporting. We think we know that it is better to grow proactively than to mesh virtually. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. The ability to streamline robustly leads to the capacity to transition intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become robust? The metrics for killer research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to deliver magnetically. We will e-enable the term "frictionless". We understand that it is better to matrix cyber-ultra-intuitively than to monetize mega-macro-intra-super-virally. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating new web-readiness? It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "ubiquitous process management" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!