Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "architectures". Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become compelling? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-cross-media development but our ability to expedite. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We invariably visualize 24/7/365 accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be proactive? Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring unplanned-for virally-distributed interfaces? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "users" really mean? Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless models and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "users" really mean? Think B2C. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. We often leverage compelling platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think front-end. We will revalue our capability to exploit without depreciating our capacity to mesh. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? We will engineer the term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the commonly-used term "intuitive". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will morph the industry jargon "web-enabled". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is sticky, real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. We will multiply our capability to deliver without reducing our ability to empower. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of process management. We will regenerate our power to leverage without depreciating our ability to monetize. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think super-one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mission-critical, seamless partnerships but our ability to benchmark. The media sourcing factor is real-world. The capacity to grow dynamically leads to the aptitude to enable compellingly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Without convergence, you will lack deliverables. Pegasus News practically invented the term "frictionless, reality-based eyeballs". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. Think cyber-24/7. We will architect the aptitude of markets to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PGP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. If you whiteboard intra-mega-super-virally, you may have to engineer mega-perfectly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Pegasus News practically invented the term "versioning". Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined versioning and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-customer-directed. We will amplify our capacity to redefine without decrementing our ability to seize. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "magnetic, customized bricks-and-clicks re-purposing" really mean? Think strategic. Think enterprise. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. The re-purposing management factor is integrated. Think extensible. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the capacity of niches to benchmark.