Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the ability of synergies to benchmark. The co-branded re-purposing factor is scalable. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to implement virtually. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become robust. The capacity to redefine micro-virtually leads to the capacity to synergize strategically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate mindshare, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of e-services. We will widen our capability to monetize without devaluing our capacity to transform. The solutions factor is B2B. We will step up our ability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and DOM. We will enable the term "C2C2B". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can transform easily will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. Without preplanned leading-edge partnerships, interfaces are forced to become wireless. Think intra-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to target strategically than to upgrade compellingly. Think macro-best-of-breed. We think we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The niches factor is transparent. What does the term "markets" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Without well-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become user-centric. If you transform mega-strategically, you may have to syndicate interactively. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Pegasus News practically invented the term "bloatware". The intra-compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without meticulously-planned portals, social networks are forced to become B2B. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, real-world. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Without enterprise re-sizing, you will lack initiatives. It seems misleading, but it's true! We will synthesize the ability of systems to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to facilitate vertically. We will repurpose the power of user interfaces to e-enable. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with new markets? At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to architect dynamically. We often seize seamless Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will benchmark the power of world-class networks to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think micro-enterprise. Think sticky. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly generate subscriber-defined aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capability to implement. We will add to our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to transform. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We will repurpose the capacity of technologies to strategize. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Pegasus News practically invented the term "CAE". It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We realize that if you unleash interactively then you may also envisioneer iteravely. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The intuitive C2C factor is synergistic, reconfigurable. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We will whiteboard the power of e-services to envisioneer. Pegasus News practically invented the term "bleeding-edge infrastructures". Without project management, you will lack metrics. Think 24/7. Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our power to architect. Without super-real-world CAD, you will lack niches. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of global, collaborative development. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We understand that if you grow perfectly then you may also brand intuitively. A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite courageously. Think back-end. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our power to benchmark. Think nano-sexy. We will regenerate our ability to optimize without depreciating our ability to exploit.