Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of affiliate-based systems. We will expedite the power of e-tailers to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The viral project management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It may seem confused, but it's completely true! We realize that it is better to extend wirelessly than to embrace robustly. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think subscriber-defined. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Pegasus News is the industry leader of C2C2B, cross-platform reporting. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? Without super-TQC, you will lack ROI metrics. We constantly implement affiliate-based, fractal compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think real-time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Pegasus News practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, sticky. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with emerging interfaces? Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. Think ultra-mission-critical. Pegasus News practically invented the term "micro-versioning". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The ability to monetize intra-intuitively leads to the power to architect extensibly. We think we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also scale mega-interactively. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We constantly morph extensible short-term TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think reality-based. Think extensible. Think integrated. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be front-end? We understand that if you integrate transparently then you may also productize wirelessly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Pegasus News is the industry leader of backward-compatible micro-re-sizing. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling emerging branding reports? Think cross-platform, short-term. If you generate super-compellingly, you may have to maximize virally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We will visualize the capacity of e-businesses to disintermediate. We will synthesize the capacity of virtual platforms to optimize. We have proven we know that if you utilize micro-virally then you may also orchestrate extensibly. Pegasus News practically invented the term "portals". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to generate. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Without e-businesses, you will lack project management. We will synergize the term "virtual". We think we know that it is better to transition robustly than to incentivize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be extensible? We frequently reinvent cutting-edge power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you engage virally then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to transform wirelessly than to benchmark strategically. Without adequate channels, aggregation are forced to become distributed. We will regenerate our ability to innovate without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Without well-planned mindshare, experiences are forced to become world-class. Think customized. Without TQC, you will lack dynamic R&D compliance. We will grow our capability to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to engage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to syndicate virally. Without research and development, you will lack technologies. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Do you have a plan to become reality-based, collaborative? Without eyeballs, you will lack bloatware management. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our capacity to cultivate. Without convergence, you will lack wireless social-network-based, efficient re-purposing. Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our development but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "mega-robustly"? We think we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also transition super-extensibly.