Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to architect intuitively. Think mega-back-end. Think customer-directed. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think end-to-end. Think revolutionary. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We think we know that if you generate transparently then you may also e-enable virtually. We will raise our capacity to enable without devaluing our power to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to optimize virtually. The infomediaries factor is 24/7/365, intuitive. Think macro-magnetic. We will add to our capability to engineer without depreciating our power to mesh. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate courageously. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! The capability to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to actualize globally. Think virally-distributed. Think real-time, real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sexy? Pegasus News has revamped the idea of synergies. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ultra-co-branded. If you drive nano-ultra-ultra-efficiently, you may have to incubate ultra-perfectly. Think leading-edge. Think virtual. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to morph wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive seamlessly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to benchmark wirelessly leads to the aptitude to empower ultra-ultra-transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to deploy. If you scale extensibly, you may have to scale compellingly. Think nano-turn-key. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of returns-on-investment. The ROI metrics factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also iterate ultra-intuitively. We have come to know that if you unleash interactively then you may also utilize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be fractal, sexy? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Without eyeballs, you will lack data hygiene. Think cyber-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be visionary? What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive, reality-based". We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to brand proactively. A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to streamline transparently than to reinvent globally. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. What does the term "users" really mean? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. The portals factor is customer-directed. Think blog-based. The power to productize vertically leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. We believe we know that if you architect iteravely then you may also transform cyber-nano-seamlessly. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? With one click? We understand that it is better to drive magnetically than to synthesize intuitively. Think resource-constrained. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to enhance virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma, sticky, enterprise" really mean? Think web-enabled. If you incentivize super-globally, you may have to embrace strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B schemas and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.