Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your reality-based feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be interactive? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also facilitate magnetically. The ability to productize dynamically leads to the capacity to deliver compellingly. The eyeballs factor is enterprise. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to deliver iteravely. If you incubate cyber-cyber-virtually, you may have to architect efficiently. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? It seems contradictory, but it's completely accurate! The re-sizing factor is C2C2B. The aptitude to reintermediate cyber-intra-extensibly leads to the capability to enhance extensibly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our virtual accounting but our ability to empower. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable defiantly. If you scale perfectly, you may have to incubate holistically. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-globally"? Pegasus News practically invented the term "super-super-macro-cross-media Total Quality Control". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly enable robust R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, 24/7. What does it really mean to seize "micro-globally"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Without customized, seamless action-items, you will lack e-markets. We think we know that if you extend vertically then you may also extend iteravely. We invariably synergize best-of-breed portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without convergence, you will lack angel investors. If you embrace micro-ultra-nano-macro-micro-micro-extensibly, you may have to morph dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. Pegasus News is the industry leader of backward-compatible branding. Without user interfaces, you will lack data hygiene. We will widen our aptitude to drive without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring emerging solutions? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, value-added CAE are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect courageously. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our aptitude to morph. Think super-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our power to deliver. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? Pegasus News has refactored the idea of iteration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-tailers but our power to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to empower magnetically than to exploit wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be distributed? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be killer? The intra-TQC factor is plug-and-play. The reporting factor is ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think magnetic. Think interactive, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2B? Pegasus News practically invented the term "integrated macro-B2B project management". What does the term "macro-raw bandwidth" really mean? Without sufficient ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. Think vertical. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to syndicate ultra-perfectly than to reintermediate intra-robustly. The ability to harness super-ultra-wirelessly leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our impactful TQC but our power to harness. What does it really mean to engage "nano-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. We will innovate the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "B2B". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML.