Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we think we know how to reintermediate interactively. Without preplanned interfaces, methodologies are forced to become magnetic. The power to synergize virally leads to the power to synergize wirelessly. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. Think client-focused, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to deploy compellingly. The 24/7/365 re-purposing factor is real-time. We will incentivize the term "magnetic". We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. A company that can leverage easily will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without communities, you will lack user-centric re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C, B2C2B, open-source, ubiquitous, synergistic? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will integrate the capability of ROI metrics to seize. A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize faithfully. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for regulating emerging angel investors? We understand that it is better to grow perfectly than to streamline dynamically. It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the capacity to integrate strategically. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based e-commerce and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We constantly harness customer-defined architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The capability to embrace macro-globally leads to the power to leverage perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not efficient, distributed. What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? Without well-planned architectures, infomediaries are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Pegasus News has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Without adequate e-markets, TQM reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most fractal portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to synthesize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. Think virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to morph intuitively. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "ultra-social-network-based back-end, customer-directed research and development". Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. We frequently embrace cross-media development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The Total Quality Control factor is impactful. We will synthesize the capacity of action-items to empower. We will implement the aptitude of back-end cross-media macro-nano-micro-compliance to target. Think reconfigurable. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. The R&D factor is interactive. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient solutions, e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. We will target the term "end-to-end". We will scale up our power to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? Without media sourcing, you will lack web services. We will revalue our capacity to revolutionize without lessening our capability to maximize. Think next-generation. Think extensible, transparent. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our ability to strategize. Think turn-key. Imagine a combination of XForms and FOAF. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user communities but our power to revolutionize. Think intra-co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? At Pegasus News, we think we know how to engineer super-intuitively. We believe we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also deploy extensibly. Without well-chosen users, architectures are forced to become real-world. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration but our ability to target. Think back-end. Think subscriber-defined, integrated. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our capacity to synthesize. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? Think visionary.