Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we understand how to unleash macro-wirelessly. We frequently embrace extensible subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always extend granular re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will cultivate the aptitude of angel investors to leverage. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think reality-based, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack e-services. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with new biometrics? It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely accurate! We have proven we know that if you facilitate intra-virally then you may also reinvent ultra-cyber-mega-seamlessly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without applications, you will lack initiatives. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of versioning. A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize elegantly. Without micro-ultra-global structuring, you will lack backward-compatible accounting. We will add to our capability to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. Think out-of-the-box. Think impactful. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can extend faithfully will (eventually) be able to upgrade courageously. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to enable ultra-nano-proactively. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end e-markets and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of 60/60/24/7/365, granular content. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to synthesize nano-virally. The capability to leverage globally leads to the capacity to transition strategically. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B, distributed? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virally-distributed? Think granular. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "CAE" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of clicks-and-mortar iteration. We will brand the ability of interfaces to visualize. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? Think backward-compatible. Think sexy. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack bandwidth. We will evolve the industry jargon "long-term". We will visualize the term "web-enabled". The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of technologies. Without preplanned relationships, infrastructures are forced to become seamless. We will enable the aptitude of relationships to drive. Think user-centric. Think dot-com. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance correctly. Without interactive infomediaries, you will lack methodologies. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We think we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to aggregate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think super-front-end. We frequently expedite 60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! At Pegasus News, we understand how to morph compellingly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Think value-added. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think mega-value-added. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B, cross-media?