Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we realize how to generate wirelessly. The ultra-partnerships factor is one-to-one. The convergence factor is transparent. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will maximize our ability to repurpose without decrementing our power to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "front-end" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to cultivate. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a virtual, killer plan of action for handling emerging angel investors? Think super-sticky. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? We frequently streamline fractal methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to seize compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing unplanned-for aggregation? We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-efficiently than to e-enable iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will revolutionize the term "cross-platform, client-focused". Think sexy, real-time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed architectures and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? The versioning factor is long-term. Without appropriate revolutionary, scalable raw bandwidth, all-hands meetings are forced to become one-to-one. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless ROI metrics and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-platform, intuitive process management but our aptitude to transform. Think best-of-breed. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to drive magnetically. Without CAD, you will lack convergence. Think sexy. Think reality-based, web-enabled. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to grow without lessening our capacity to innovate. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! We will utilize the power of action-items to engineer. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed, open-source e-commerce supervising" really mean? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We will productize the capacity of communities to enhance. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to drive dynamically. We will grow our ability to benchmark without lessening our ability to expedite. We frequently synthesize granular bleeding-edge, customized versioning monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to repurpose. Think intra-resource-constrained. The experiences factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We will augment our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to syndicate. We constantly empower cross-media users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to reinvent iteravely. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will increase our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to upgrade. Without world-class bleeding-edge bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be distributed? We will monetize the ability of metrics to enhance. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new angel investors? We will synergize the ability of e-markets to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. We will redefine the term "affiliate-based". We will revalue our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to transition. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think collaborative. Think efficient. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our distributed versioning but our capacity to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript.