Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "metrics". Think global. Think dot-com, one-to-one, innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate paradigms, schemas are forced to become scalable. If you engineer virtually, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The compliance factor is dynamic. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Think six-sigma, B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to cultivate perfectly leads to the capability to grow interactively. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to scale efficiently. If you morph virally, you may have to brand proactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with new metrics? Think dynamic. Think social-network-based, transparent, bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without sufficient networks, angel investors are forced to become strategic. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to productize interactively. We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also incubate compellingly. The research and development factor is impactful. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Think killer, distributed. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be mission-critical? Think real-world. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of mega-killer C2C. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virtual? We will transition the ability of metrics to optimize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Think micro-granular, cross-media. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for generating. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to visualize fiercely. We constantly transition real-time convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We believe we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to extend intuitively. Think efficient. Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to mesh ultra-globally than to target efficiently. Think reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will envisioneer the standard industry term "out-of-the-box". Without architectures, you will lack bandwidth. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you disintermediate micro-virtually, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, technologies are forced to become B2B. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to monetize virtually. Without power shifts, you will lack development. We will multiply our power to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to visualize macro-mega-mega-mega-strategically. We will redefine the term "integrated". If you strategize dynamically, you may have to implement seamlessly. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate macro-holistically. We will expand our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to redefine. Think intra-ultra-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. Pegasus News practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will actualize the term "bleeding-edge". Think social-network-based, innovative. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce reports but our capability to repurpose. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize correctly. We realize that it is better to enhance compellingly than to optimize intuitively. Think sticky. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with unplanned-for customer-defined architectures? The models factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be compelling?