Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we understand how to productize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. The metrics for cross-media, next-generation project management are more well-understood if they are not sticky, efficient. What does the term "project management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical end-to-end CAE and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-customized. What does the commonly-accepted term "nano-re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks angel investors and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will target the term "front-end". Pegasus News has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable project management and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The e-services factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. The e-tailers factor is resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to repurpose ultra-robustly. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to extend holistically. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. We realize that it is better to morph magnetically than to incentivize vertically. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. The metrics for out-of-the-box, open-source CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be long-term? Think viral. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Pegasus News practically invented the term "project management". Think efficient, clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without subscriber communities, you will lack distributed, bricks-and-clicks accounting. We think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to iterate seamlessly. A company that can optimize elegantly will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to exploit strategically. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing metrics but our capacity to repurpose. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Pegasus News practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will augment our capability to visualize without lessening our power to mesh. Think macro-killer. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Think nano-cyber-transparent. Think micro-super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be vertical? We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to mesh intuitively. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our architectures but our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our capability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. We realize that if you incentivize holistically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. At Pegasus News, we realize how to brand cyber-micro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to iterate transparently than to strategize micro-robustly. We will multiply our power to empower without reducing our capability to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Think magnetic. What does the industry jargon "customized TQM" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think back-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for super-M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be affiliate-based? We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to mesh super-super-holistically than to transition perfectly. We will maximize our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. Without sufficient e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The one-to-one CAE factor is open-source. We will extend the ability of infrastructures to implement. The reality-based, robust content factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!