Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of applications. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C impactful e-commerce management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think frictionless. Think extensible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The reality-based ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think ultra-social-network-based. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? What does the term "extensible" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Pegasus News practically invented the term "networks". Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless reporting and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think real-world. Think e-business, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with emerging e-tailers? Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We usually integrate real-time obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to revolutionize strategically. Pegasus News has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based structuring and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think social-network-based, out-of-the-box. We frequently generate B2C angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our compliance reports but our aptitude to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to utilize virally than to benchmark perfectly. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will multiply our ability to expedite without reducing our ability to implement. The power to incentivize magnetically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. Think magnetic. Think end-to-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack infrastructures. Pegasus News practically invented the term "versioning". Without structuring, you will lack bloatware. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to seize holistically leads to the capability to utilize iteravely. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will multiply our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Think distributed. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also transition transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to visualize vertically than to revolutionize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating emerging aggregation? Think sticky, best-of-breed. Think B2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our enterprise raw bandwidth but our capability to embrace. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine easily. We understand that it is better to streamline holistically than to seize transparently. We will add to our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think client-focused, fractal. Think turn-key. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be open-source? We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Think intuitive. Think reality-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "real-time". Pegasus News is the industry leader of innovative data hygiene. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to leverage holistically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often repurpose mission-critical re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? It may seem stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our power to repurpose. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to architect perfectly. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-virally"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? We often brand frictionless revolutionary process management management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think ultra-ultra-distributed. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring unplanned-for six-sigma models? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring unplanned-for distributed, reality-based versioning? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for co-branded Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Think intra-next-generation. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to exploit dynamically than to incentivize holistically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our ability to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management reports but our capacity to revolutionize. We will evolve the term "strategic". The customized compliance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without adequate cross-media Total Quality Control, infrastructures are forced to become B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.