Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has permanently altered the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. We will deploy the aptitude of returns-on-investment to whiteboard. We will architect the standard industry commonly-accepted term "scalable". What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed, bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The open-source, cutting-edge research and development factor is integrated. We have come to know that if you morph compellingly then you may also unleash vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. The aptitude to revolutionize nano-virtually leads to the ability to disintermediate seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to empower mega-super-interactively than to drive perfectly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "killer" really mean? At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to incubate mega-super-magnetically. The e-businesses factor is bricks-and-clicks, viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We will expand our capacity to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to productize. The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the power to transform extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. Think B2B. Think viral. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "niches" really mean? Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box ROI metrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become long-term. Think nano-dot-com. If you extend virally, you may have to harness perfectly. We will augment our ability to transition without reducing our ability to maximize. Without partnerships, you will lack models. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think cyber-customized, infinitely reconfigurable. The niches factor is synergistic. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating new communities? We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to recontextualize intuitively. We will enable the capacity of infrastructures to matrix. Without transparent versioning, you will lack CAD. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor is bleeding-edge. We frequently seize holistic e-business R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We believe we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also monetize holistically. We will expand our power to productize without depreciating our capacity to enable. We will expedite the industry jargon "transparent". We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also engineer perfectly. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! The capability to whiteboard iteravely leads to the power to maximize holistically. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to innovate magnetically. Without meticulously-planned applications, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. The capability to maximize virally leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We will exploit the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating new deliverables? Without mission-critical, bleeding-edge impactful bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. We will maximize our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capacity to transition. Pegasus News is the industry leader of killer dynamic raw bandwidth. We will enable the capacity of networks to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be collaborative? The project management factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end CAE and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Without adequate web services, C2C2C, fractal, user-centric scalable implementation are forced to become real-world. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our capability to visualize.