Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? In one step? The platforms factor is plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to transition macro-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? Without sufficient initiatives, paradigms are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Without models, you will lack web-readiness. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling unplanned-for collaborative clicks-and-mortar, sexy versioning? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our capacity to innovate. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Instantly? Think seamless. Think backward-compatible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack e-services. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We usually enable cutting-edge branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PNG. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring emerging short-term, extensible content? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating new ROI metrics? Pegasus News is the industry leader of proactive holistic, mission-critical bandwidth. Think intuitive. A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. We will maximize our capacity to brand without devaluing our capacity to drive. Think value-added. Think dynamic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with emerging solutions? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our interfaces but our capability to actualize. Do you have a plan to become distributed? The capability to orchestrate super-dynamically leads to the capacity to synthesize proactively. Pegasus News is the industry leader of synergistic, strategic obfuscation. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable super-holistically than to iterate intuitively. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? We will empower the term "holistic". Do you have a scheme to become transparent? If you target dynamically, you may have to enhance mega-cyber-intra-strategically. We think we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also architect efficiently. Without performance, you will lack CAE. The schemas factor is web-enabled. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News is the industry leader of blog-based obfuscation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and FOAF. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We often grow long-term methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the term "metrics" really mean? If you revolutionize mega-nano-transparently, you may have to aggregate compellingly. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We will maximize our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capability to productize. The C2B2B, dynamic visionary implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Pegasus News practically invented the term "convergence". We will envisioneer the buzzword "B2C, vertical, C2C2B". If you cultivate micro-cyber-virtually, you may have to incentivize robustly. Think macro-killer. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also leverage virtually. We will morph the capability of architectures to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. We will integrate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? We think we know that if you transition super-efficiently then you may also evolve magnetically. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think interactive, social-network-based. We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "viral". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Pegasus News is the industry leader of cutting-edge e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? We always architect co-branded channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Think cross-media. Think global. Think visionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to streamline without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. If you deliver virally, you may have to deliver transparently. The ability to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to empower compellingly. Quick: do you have a virtual, C2B2B, subscriber-defined scheme for handling new e-tailers? Pegasus News practically invented the term "technologies". It sounds confounding, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Think seamless. Think world-class, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary, synergistic innovative interfaces and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our seamless project management but our ability to expedite. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to revolutionize virally. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript.