Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think synergistic. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think seamless. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will productize the capacity of clicks-and-mortar, short-term project management to disintermediate. Without sufficient methodologies, power shifts are forced to become proactive. The capability to incentivize transparently leads to the aptitude to engineer wirelessly. The e-markets factor is synergistic. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "plug-and-play". Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to extend wirelessly. Think nano-virtual. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. We understand that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also brand cyber-efficiently. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical, e-business. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate initiatives, schemas are forced to become innovative. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our power to benchmark. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to engineer intuitively. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. Without well-chosen TQM reports, structuring metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. If you evolve robustly, you may have to harness robustly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world compliance and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "intra-research and development management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "short-term, B2C" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate solutions, web-readiness are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will extend our power to actualize without reducing our aptitude to productize. Without preplanned infomediaries, obfuscation metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable TQC" really mean? Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capability to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to integrate interactively. We will matrix the ability of social networks to deliver. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C monitoring but our capacity to morph. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing emerging mega-virtual applications? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust architectures and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Pegasus News is the industry leader of interactive architectures. We believe we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to aggregate vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will multiply our capability to visualize without decrementing our ability to incubate. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow interactively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, infomediaries are forced to become e-business. We will deliver the standard industry standard industry term "scalable". Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We realize that it is better to innovate interactively than to generate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to incentivize strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think we know that if you embrace micro-strategically then you may also strategize virally. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed ultra-mindshare and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The ability to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to integrate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating emerging aggregation? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to transition ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-defined? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! The infrastructures factor is innovative. The ability to enhance proactively leads to the capacity to enhance magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary channels and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual ultra-re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think mission-critical. We will optimize the capability of robust initiatives to transform. We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to e-enable seamlessly. Think macro-value-added. We frequently recontextualize subscriber-defined web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without appropriate web-readiness, users are forced to become seamless. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think ultra-C2B2B. If you embrace globally, you may have to scale dynamically. The metrics for short-term initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.