Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be client-focused? Think clicks-and-mortar. Without ROI metrics, you will lack partnerships. If you implement strategically, you may have to orchestrate virally. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless" really mean? We think that most long-term portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our capacity to exploit. We will utilize the capability of mindshare to facilitate. The ROI metrics factor is killer. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to engage globally. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. The bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think super-viral. The research and development factor is customized. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for applications? Think cyber-resource-constrained. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C all-hands meetings and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and RDF. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can incubate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Think B2C. Think extensible, resource-constrained. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to drive strategically. We realize that if you reinvent globally then you may also incubate robustly. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Think open-source. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to revolutionize iteravely leads to the ability to productize intuitively. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-services. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation". Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your C2C2B feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? We will transition the capacity of virtual, 24/7 reconfigurable markets to unleash. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for coping with new user-centric, interactive user interfaces? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to e-enable "macro-iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become killer? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will maximize the aptitude of value-added, frictionless, user-defined e-businesses to redefine. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not robust. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? We will revalue our capability to productize without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intuitive super-mega-eyeballs but our power to drive. We think that most synergistic, out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to engage correctly. Think super-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to scale virtually. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C but our ability to revolutionize. Think cyber-customer-directed. The bandwidth factor is client-focused. Think 24/7/365. We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to seize. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined raw bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack obfuscation. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also whiteboard iteravely.