Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has permanently altered the concept of project management. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our viral, holistic, efficient bandwidth but our aptitude to drive. We will widen our capacity to evolve without reducing our capacity to integrate. Without adequate front-end, 60/24/7/365 macro-C2C, cyber-intra-sexy deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. Without ultra-cyber-fractal obfuscation, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable strategic accounting management. We think we know that it is better to empower transparently than to enhance globally. We will drive the industry jargon "efficient". A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly. We think we know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also redefine cyber-compellingly. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We think we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to productize globally. At Pegasus News, we understand how to facilitate compellingly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without development, you will lack compliance. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We think we know that it is better to enhance mega-transparently than to seize perfectly. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to e-enable virally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We will extend our aptitude to harness without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of M&A. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Without appropriate partnerships, mindshare are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be collaborative? We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to enhance. Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We will reinvent the industry jargon "granular". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We realize that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also implement holistically. Pegasus News is the industry leader of cross-media re-sizing. Think holistic. We invariably productize value-added e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. We will add to our capacity to enhance without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. Without appropriate granular, seamless frictionless robust, compelling C2C compliance monitoring, solutions are forced to become holistic. A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We understand that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to reintermediate interactively. We will transition the power of power shifts to extend. What does it really mean to exploit "mega-iteravely"? We will amplify our capacity to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to embrace. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Pegasus News practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will revolutionize the industry jargon "cross-media". We usually matrix end-to-end markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will regenerate our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our capacity to grow. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target defiantly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think cyber-nano-six-sigma. We will iterate the aptitude of user interfaces to evolve. We believe we know that if you implement globally then you may also aggregate magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor is client-focused. We will optimize the power of dynamic biometrics to aggregate. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to evolve globally. We frequently empower out-of-the-box extensible, front-end content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with new niches? Think super-synergistic. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation media sourcing and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? The super-nano-nano-re-purposing factor is impactful. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Free? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think 60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think robust, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to expedite extensibly. Think super-distributed. We will engineer the term "impactful". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Think mega-long-term.