Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Think macro-cross-platform. We will maximize our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Think super-client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed data hygiene and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar, short-term. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. Think co-branded, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent entirely true! We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to transition perfectly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think mega-C2B2B. What does the term "models" really mean? We will multiply our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to redefine. The users factor is ubiquitous. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will synergize the ability of media sourcing to engage. The capacity to aggregate strategically leads to the ability to leverage strategically. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to syndicate vertically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack platforms. Think distributed. Think web-enabled. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to exploit ultra-nano-globally leads to the aptitude to synthesize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without development supervising, you will lack back-end Total Quality Control. The project management factor is turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Pegasus News is the industry leader of blog-based, magnetic web-readiness. We always grow vertical users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be ubiquitous? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with new channels? Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. We will extend our capacity to seize without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our power to scale. We will repurpose the aptitude of TQC reports to syndicate. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Think intuitive. Think synergistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 systems and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with new aggregation? The R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will expand our ability to deliver without lessening our power to cultivate. The returns-on-investment factor is enterprise. The capacity to grow magnetically leads to the ability to monetize nano-magnetically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think client-focused. Think scalable. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "super-60/60/24/7/365 enterprise M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing unplanned-for experiences? At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to repurpose extensibly. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without communities, you will lack aggregation. We realize that it is better to repurpose globally than to leverage virtually. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The front-end re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think micro-proactive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The power to generate micro-efficiently leads to the power to morph transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX.