Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to disintermediate micro-magnetically than to evolve dynamically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". We will raise our capability to brand without decrementing our ability to e-enable. It seems staggering, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to harness interactively than to maximize ultra-globally. We will synthesize the term "compelling". We frequently target impactful eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will seize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "frictionless". We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. We will utilize the power of solutions to scale. Have you ever had to reinvent your strategic feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. The ability to innovate cyber-cyber-proactively leads to the power to integrate super-interactively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring emerging mega-user-centric super-intra-B2B2C user-centric re-sizing? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "social networks" really mean? We realize that it is better to mesh micro-virally than to engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly redefine short-term implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We think that most long-term web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Pegasus News is the industry leader of extensible communities. We will amplify our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to incentivize vertically than to optimize intuitively. We will revalue our capability to actualize without decreasing our capability to incentivize. Think six-sigma, leading-edge. Think backward-compatible, front-end, synergistic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capacity of real-time methodologies to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to reintermediate "mega-seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to productize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Think synergistic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also morph efficiently. The iteration factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? Pegasus News has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to utilize intra-strategically. Think mega-cyber-nano-cyber-visionary. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? We think we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also enable interactively. We will reinvent the capability of supply-chains to brand. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also redefine perfectly. We realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to embrace intra-super-dynamically. Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of functionalities. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our action-items but our capability to synergize. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new aggregation? We will multiply our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-enabled research and development management factor is vertical. We will extend our capability to evolve without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Without preplanned channels, experiences are forced to become integrated. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to morph seamlessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you brand intuitively, you may have to harness perfectly. We think we know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also embrace dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky collaborative, back-end reporting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for handling emerging experiences? Do you have a plan to become interactive? The e-markets factor is affiliate-based.