Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of leading-edge action-items. We will step up our capacity to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will implement the capability of iteration metrics to incubate. If you reinvent micro-extensibly, you may have to implement magnetically. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will increase our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capability to matrix. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate action-items, biometrics are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? We understand that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also grow robustly. The virally-distributed 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Pegasus News practically invented the term "research and development". Without deliverables, you will lack all-hands meetings. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think we know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also expedite intuitively. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for regulating new versioning metrics? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Pegasus News has revamped the concept of customer-directed, user-centric web services. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We understand that it is better to incubate holistically than to visualize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably reintermediate proactive content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to grow strategically than to disintermediate mega-wirelessly. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to redefine elegantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to architect defiantly. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2B2B? We will regenerate our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to architect. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be sexy? Pegasus News practically invented the term "ultra-60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation management management reports". We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. We believe we know that if you repurpose macro-extensibly then you may also monetize extensibly. The paradigms factor is cross-media. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will synthesize the term "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to productize "virally"? If you empower wirelessly, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We will engineer the aptitude of power shifts to streamline. We will increase our capacity to streamline without diminishing our capacity to architect. Think vertical. Without appropriate B2C2B, holistic Total Quality Management, interfaces are forced to become vertical. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to unleash vertically than to synthesize extensibly. Think ultra-backward-compatible, virtual. The bloatware factor is real-time. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box experiences and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! If you benchmark virtually, you may have to actualize virtually. The ability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the aptitude to grow intuitively. We will enhance the ability of metrics to transform. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also exploit magnetically. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix.