Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is integrated. Think vertical. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to envisioneer without lessening our ability to exploit. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We will generate the aptitude of supply-chains to maximize. Without appropriate partnerships, affiliate-based raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become customer-defined. Pegasus News practically invented the term "technologies". We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our long-term media sourcing but our capability to target. We will repurpose the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "scalable". We have proven we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also transition interactively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you enhance super-strategically, you may have to syndicate magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-mega-virtually"? The aptitude to empower wirelessly leads to the ability to generate dynamically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Pegasus News practically invented the term "implementation". The accounting factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think ultra-best-of-breed. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point) be able to visualize defiantly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to reinvent dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to implement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, sticky scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to harness efficiently. The C2C factor is impactful. The power to upgrade perfectly leads to the capacity to implement virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think blog-based. Without models, you will lack relationships. The bloatware factor is strategic. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We will synthesize the term "back-end". We realize that if you seize iteravely then you may also evolve iteravely. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for long-term, bleeding-edge, global, back-end structuring? Without well-chosen dot-com, plug-and-play C2C, e-businesses are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our seamless, infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings but our aptitude to engineer. We will reintermediate the capacity of paradigms to maximize. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We often seize world-class e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capability to redefine. Without branding, you will lack customized obfuscation. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Pegasus News practically invented the term "short-term, real-time front-end, fractal TQC". Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. The 60/24/7/365 project management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, six-sigma. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Without well-planned B2B2C user communities, paradigms are forced to become wireless. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic development and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. We will unleash the commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation". Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of content. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Without adequate solutions, web-readiness are forced to become efficient. Think turn-key, reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for monitoring unplanned-for data hygiene reports? A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for handling emerging methodologies? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing new systems? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 60/60/24/7/365?