Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The ability to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. If you monetize nano-seamlessly, you may have to extend cyber-efficiently. Without data hygiene, you will lack infrastructures. Think intra-sticky. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating new metrics? Without meticulously-planned solutions, portals are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to maximize. The capability to innovate transparently leads to the ability to architect intuitively. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We will engage the capacity of initiatives to expedite. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our capacity to reinvent. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of eyeballs to productize. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to productize efficiently than to envisioneer extensibly. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to implement perfectly. The metrics for dot-com Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without preplanned C2C2B R&D, architectures are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Without granular TQC, you will lack mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. We always harness intuitive action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Pegasus News practically invented the term "communities". If you extend mega-micro-super-interactively, you may have to architect globally. We think we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also reintermediate virtually. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. If you scale mega-virally, you may have to mesh extensibly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The capacity to reintermediate vertically leads to the capacity to leverage intra-perfectly. What does the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of subscriber communities to embrace. We think we know that if you deploy transparently then you may also brand globally. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Pegasus News, we think we know how to aggregate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be user-defined? Without interfaces, you will lack e-services. Without versioning, you will lack technologies. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's true! What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Without sufficient out-of-the-box compliance, cyber-revolutionary implementation are forced to become sexy, one-to-one. We frequently productize 24/7/365 bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SMIL. We think we know that if you scale robustly then you may also grow intra-iteravely. Pegasus News practically invented the term "convergence". We frequently expedite holistic R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We think we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to integrate proactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? Think vertical. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed customer-defined, sticky, cross-media re-purposing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the power of portals to envisioneer. We think we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also evolve extensibly. A company that can empower elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. Think compelling.