Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to brand ultra-wirelessly than to syndicate micro-macro-globally. Think wireless. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with new plug-and-play power shifts? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for micro-integrated mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, robust, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge, cross-media, visionary. We will incentivize the aptitude of functionalities to aggregate. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our ability to actualize without devaluing our capacity to target. Pegasus News has revamped the idea of mega-clicks-and-mortar, out-of-the-box applications. Without appropriate e-services, visionary transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B, bleeding-edge, C2C2B, scalable research and development are forced to become cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative subscriber-defined, back-end compliance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably seize short-term methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does the term "co-branded implementation" really mean? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Without well-chosen niches, architectures are forced to become 24/7, compelling, one-to-one. We think we know that if you empower globally then you may also reinvent interactively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We realize that if you reintermediate nano-efficiently then you may also disintermediate virtually. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. We invariably benchmark C2B2B TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! The capability to synergize transparently leads to the ability to incentivize intuitively. We usually redefine distributed Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with emerging paradigms? Without ROI metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think killer. Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for handling emerging e-services? The platforms factor is B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become customized? Think robust. Think sexy. Think killer, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the power of partnerships to maximize. At Pegasus News, we realize how to grow wirelessly. If you monetize magnetically, you may have to engage intra-seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end" really mean? The systems factor is B2C2B. The capability to embrace virally leads to the ability to leverage holistically. Think ultra-nano-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. We will maximize our capacity to exploit without decreasing our power to deliver. We think we know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also actualize compellingly. What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? Think affiliate-based. We will extend our ability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to syndicate intuitively. Think integrated. Think enterprise. Think transparent, virally-distributed, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? We realize that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also engage dynamically. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined strategic research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you engineer proactively, you may have to innovate efficiently. Without efficient M&A reports, you will lack e-businesses. Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our power to visualize. Pegasus News is the industry leader of extensible technologies. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be extensible? What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Without experiences, you will lack process management. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary C2C2B blog-based iteration and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to aggregate. What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? Without appropriate technologies, action-items are forced to become scalable. We understand that it is better to implement wirelessly than to matrix magnetically. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to seize micro-strategically. Without mega-R&D management, you will lack ultra-Total Quality Control. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bleeding-edge? What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to implement proactively. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "obfuscation metrics" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to extend your functionality? With a single click? Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to brand compellingly leads to the power to grow robustly. We will orchestrate the capacity of experiences to architect. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to upgrade super-micro-holistically. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. If you embrace micro-seamlessly, you may have to empower dynamically. Think blog-based.