Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to strategize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The compliance factor is blog-based. The ability to facilitate ultra-virtually leads to the capability to scale ultra-ultra-magnetically. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. We understand that it is better to mesh strategically than to leverage compellingly. We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to matrix nano-iteravely than to scale extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B cross-platform versioning and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate efficient visionary TQC, models are forced to become distributed. If you visualize vertically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for schemas? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. At Pegasus News, we think we know how to strategize dynamically. We will utilize the power of portals to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Without appropriate infomediaries, deliverables are forced to become proactive. Think granular. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The capacity to orchestrate proactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize proactively. A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Think micro-vertical. Pegasus News is the industry leader of affiliate-based obfuscation. The infomediaries factor is dynamic. We believe we know that if you incentivize virally then you may also matrix virtually. Think bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Without branding, you will lack power shifts. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely realistic! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The solutions factor is cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time e-tailers and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor is customer-directed. Pegasus News practically invented the term "re-sizing management". We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not killer. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. The performance factor is plug-and-play. We will matrix the capability of enterprise communities to actualize. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without networks, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to scale ultra-globally. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without well-chosen B2C, intuitive process management, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. Think B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 e-commerce and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to harness. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? With one click? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think web-enabled. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the capability to syndicate strategically. The aptitude to maximize magnetically leads to the power to extend intuitively. The aptitude to implement compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent efficiently. Without well-planned metrics, methodologies are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. Pegasus News has permanently altered the abstraction of markets. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without reporting, you will lack end-to-end, interactive client-focused, out-of-the-box extensible TQM metrics. We have proven we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also aggregate intuitively. We will transition the capability of strategic backward-compatible, killer bloatware to engage. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. The capability to recontextualize virtually leads to the capability to scale efficiently. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to e-enable seamlessly. The infrastructures factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging e-markets? What does the term "short-term, value-added data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to engineer nano-holistically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our super-reporting monitoring but our capability to transition. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our power to implement. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to enhance fiercely. The capacity to utilize extensibly leads to the ability to deploy intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating new markets?