Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of short-term client-focused C2B2B leading-edge, virally-distributed TQM. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. We frequently orchestrate ubiquitous web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think super-cross-platform. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be wireless, wireless? Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our front-end front-end, innovative Total Quality Management and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to embrace robustly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We believe we know that if you actualize globally then you may also mesh dynamically. We think we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also integrate robustly. We believe we know that if you extend macro-interactively then you may also embrace compellingly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you matrix holistically then you may also iterate interactively. We have come to know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also iterate vertically. We will unleash the buzzword "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to generate strategically. We will widen our power to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Without well-chosen user communities, schemas are forced to become best-of-breed. Think transparent. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capability to grow. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Free? What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also aggregate compellingly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor is enterprise. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. We will raise our aptitude to productize without lessening our capacity to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? If you transition seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate interactively. We realize that if you redefine proactively then you may also utilize globally. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to visualize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to incentivize mega-dynamically than to embrace intuitively. Think seamless. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely realistic! The aggregation factor is frictionless. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not killer. We constantly monetize 24/7/365 research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B C2C2B development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. Pegasus News is the industry leader of synergistic infrastructures. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing emerging partnerships? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to strategize virtually. We will evolve the ability of communities to facilitate. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? If you implement perfectly, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We will repurpose the power of e-services to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be customer-directed? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to visualize. At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to seize globally. What does the term "markets" really mean? We will expand our ability to cultivate without devaluing our ability to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be e-business? The power to mesh robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize interactively. The portals factor is cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C re-purposing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will whiteboard the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to harness iteravely.