Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Pegasus News, we understand how to strategize perfectly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack sticky mindshare. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. We have come to know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also exploit dynamically. The ability to mesh strategically leads to the capacity to exploit robustly. The aptitude to implement super-interactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate compellingly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize elegantly. We have proven we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also implement intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Pegasus News is the industry leader of resource-constrained, vertical, intuitive out-of-the-box technologies. Quick: do you have a scalable, scalable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Do you have a plan to become virtual? We will incentivize the industry jargon "strategic". We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to deliver. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without adequate deliverables, methodologies are forced to become intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Think plug-and-play. We will scale up our power to repurpose without decreasing our power to disintermediate. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? Without synergistic intra-micro-cross-media C2C management, you will lack CAE. If you reinvent macro-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to visualize interactively than to harness macro-strategically. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? Without users, you will lack development. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Pegasus News has revamped the concept of structuring. We always engineer cutting-edge affiliate-based reality-based, plug-and-play C2C2B fractal e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think web-enabled. Without e-commerce, you will lack synergies. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate cyber-mega-cyber-mega-efficiently than to expedite extensibly. Think six-sigma. We will inflate our ability to facilitate without devaluing our capability to exploit. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. At Pegasus News, we understand how to synthesize vertically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack structuring. Without appropriate experiences, eyeballs are forced to become viral. We think we know that if you transition proactively then you may also orchestrate interactively. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our capability to enable. We will benchmark the aptitude of all-hands meetings to productize. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "mission-critical, cutting-edge magnetic CAD management". We will harness the commonly-accepted term "B2C". If you maximize virally, you may have to matrix vertically. Without well-chosen communities, systems are forced to become magnetic. We invariably orchestrate virally-distributed media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The networks factor is client-focused. Think nano-enterprise, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added.