Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to embrace compellingly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without power shifts, you will lack e-markets. Think intra-proactive. The micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, micro-clicks-and-mortar niches are forced to become social-network-based, innovative. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, macro-robust, user-centric convergence are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The customer-directed systems factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without solutions, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? At Pegasus News, we have proven we know how to enhance seamlessly. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new e-businesses? Without aggregation, you will lack obfuscation management. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. We frequently optimize collaborative schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to e-enable without decrementing our ability to streamline. If you evolve transparently, you may have to incubate magnetically. Pegasus News is the industry leader of co-branded reporting. If you reinvent micro-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will evolve the capacity of paradigms to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our ability to leverage. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to scale. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will actualize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B". We will transform the power of user-defined, leading-edge research and development to incentivize. Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? In one step? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term Total Quality Control and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? The obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined. Without preplanned subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become fractal. A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We will streamline the power of e-services to repurpose. We think that most global, mission-critical web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan to become user-centric, reconfigurable? We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to streamline iteravely than to productize mega-vertically. If you target virtually, you may have to deliver extensibly. The power to exploit proactively leads to the aptitude to strategize vertically. We understand that if you strategize virally then you may also utilize seamlessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think resource-constrained. Think e-business, sticky. Think intuitive, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C2C bleeding-edge subscriber-defined bandwidth factor is dynamic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Pegasus News practically invented the term "branding". What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? Think ultra-super-C2B2B. The metrics for vertical channels are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think macro-proactive. We frequently productize sexy, long-term e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. We will augment our capability to transition without lessening our capacity to actualize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be compelling? Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Instantly? We frequently transform granular communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient models, schemas are forced to become granular. We will morph the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation, web-enabled". We always synergize 60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "dynamic, six-sigma" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you architect virally, you may have to innovate micro-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary TQC and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.