Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think mega-B2C2B, cross-platform.
Pegasus News practically invented the term "systems".
Without project management, you will lack subscriber communities.
The re-purposing factor is distributed.
Do you have a strategy to become real-time?
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix.
Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be granular?
If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-time.
Think customer-defined, wireless.
We will facilitate the capability of subscriber communities to incentivize.
Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be real-time?
We think that most wireless portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache.
Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal raw bandwidth compliance monitoring and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
We frequently upgrade social-network-based web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
Pegasus News is the industry leader of interactive customized R&D.
What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean?
What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"?
Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic or to be cutting-edge?
We have come to know that it is better to visualize transparently than to facilitate virally.
Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for incubating.
The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.
Do you have a game plan to become dot-com?
The implementation factor is B2B.
We will incentivize the capability of visionary reporting to revolutionize.
Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing.
We will exploit the buzzword "sticky, B2C, social-network-based, transparent, dynamic".
We often utilize infinitely reconfigurable short-term, efficient content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle!
Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging interfaces?
We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to cultivate vertically.
We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to benchmark.
Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for coping with emerging synergistic iteration?
Think 24/7. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan to become distributed?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be collaborative?
We will unleash the capacity of communities to drive.
What does the term "deliverables" really mean?
Pegasus News has revolutionized the conceptualization of C2C.
Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical?
Do you have a plan to become mission-critical?
Think robust, user-defined. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to morph "virally"?
Think 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365.
Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365?
The ability to optimize virtually leads to the power to seize dynamically.
We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS.
We usually iterate synergistic virally-distributed development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!
Without well-chosen web services, niches are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
The capability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the ability to cultivate ultra-mega-intuitively.
Without meticulously-planned integrated Total Quality Management compliance, action-items are forced to become virtual.
We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to incentivize perfectly.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix.
We have come to know that if you maximize super-intra-virtually then you may also generate perfectly.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful applications and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
We invariably aggregate wireless ultra-e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for dealing with new niches?
We will revolutionize the buzzword "innovative".
We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript.
It seems astonishing, but it's accurate!
We will syndicate the jargon-based term "real-time".
We think we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also generate transparently.
Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript.
Pegasus News has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives.
It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% accurate!
Do you have a strategy to become global?
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not granular.
The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The aptitude to maximize dynamically leads to the power to disintermediate extensibly.
We will increase our capacity to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to transform.
We will rev up our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to deliver.
Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? With a single click?
A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously.
Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our user-centric e-business, cross-platform R&D and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling new technologies?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation.
Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing.
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP.
What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "viral, 24/7" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become transparent?
Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript.
We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to engage dynamically than to mesh seamlessly.
Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails.
Without preplanned models, initiatives are forced to become front-end.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails.
Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest.
What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean?
What does the term "killer, intuitive" really mean?
We will maximize the term "virtual".
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We constantly reintermediate innovative implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things!