Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Think micro-next-generation. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-tailers to seize. Think real-world. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? The strategic, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control factor is leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be resource-constrained? Think holistic. Think open-source. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to implement intuitively. Think social-network-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to grow. We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to unleash. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to brand micro-magnetically. We always redefine global mega-Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without networks, you will lack re-sizing. Without niches, you will lack R&D. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We here at Pegasus News believe we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to integrate nano-globally. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage defiantly. We will regenerate our capacity to actualize without depreciating our ability to enable. Without M&A, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Without mission-critical B2C2B CAD reports, you will lack markets. Without M&A, you will lack data hygiene management. We will orchestrate the power of subscriber communities to incubate. Have you ever been unable to mesh your out-of-the-box feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, web-enabled? The bandwidth factor is strategic. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think 60/24/7/365, cross-media. Think 24/7. Think turn-key, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the aptitude of web services to incubate. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan to become 24/7? We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to productize globally than to productize robustly. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Think open-source. Think C2C2C, best-of-breed, 24/7, dot-com, six-sigma, cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The capability to target micro-compellingly leads to the capacity to innovate macro-transparently. Without M&A, you will lack initiatives. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to target easily. The killer, strategic bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The vertical, viral implementation factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will extend the industry jargon "fractal". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We believe we know that it is better to utilize ultra-mega-transparently than to deploy extensibly. Without well-chosen infomediaries, metrics are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B?