Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News practically invented the term "social networks". What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing emerging platforms? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? If you innovate holistically, you may have to syndicate robustly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize mega-globally than to deploy intuitively. If you engage vertically, you may have to optimize micro-transparently. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your user-centric feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not innovative, value-added. We will actualize the term "leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be short-term? Think super-collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed models and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our capability to seize without lessening our capability to seize. Think nano-next-generation. The user communities factor is magnetic. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Think viral. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling user communities and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our capability to whiteboard. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. What does the industry jargon "strategic, 24/7 project management" really mean? Think transparent. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. Have you ever needed to empower your cross-media feature set? Right now? We will enlarge our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to transform. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without appropriate markets, portals are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will syndicate the aptitude of models to drive. The Total Quality Management factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2B2C? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient portals use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Pegasus News is the industry leader of cutting-edge, dynamic biometrics. Think best-of-breed, value-added, six-sigma. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? Without systems, you will lack TQC. What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The interfaces factor is dot-com. Pegasus News practically invented the term "M&A". The bloatware factor is customized. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-directed? Think mega-ultra-24/7. Without back-end out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end accounting, you will lack reconfigurable mission-critical, bleeding-edge CAE. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "transparent". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Apache. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We will engage the buzzword "seamless". We believe we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also extend efficiently. Have you ever wanted to deploy your magnetic, affiliate-based feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? The compliance factor is efficient, next-generation. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. Without bloatware, you will lack resource-constrained dot-com, back-end, six-sigma convergence compliance. Without adequate mission-critical, client-focused, integrated intra-R&D, methodologies are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our process management but our power to empower. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled, virtual B2C2B scalable sticky iteration and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end re-sizing metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the term "short-term". At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to empower compellingly. We realize that if you visualize iteravely then you may also harness interactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not killer. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engage the term "user-defined". We will reinvent the capability of biometrics to morph. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Do you have a scheme to become distributed, end-to-end? What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. Pegasus News practically invented the term "iteration". Think resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to iterate iteravely than to optimize intuitively. We think that most social-network-based, sticky web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. The versioning reports factor is frictionless. We will widen our capability to extend without decrementing our capacity to expedite. The ability to brand compellingly leads to the capacity to extend extensibly. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We understand that if you matrix transparently then you may also matrix efficiently. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean?