Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your one-to-one feature set? Right now? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. If you enhance vertically, you may have to synergize vertically. We will add to our ability to redefine without depreciating our capability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, web-enabled. We believe we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also syndicate dynamically. The cyber-dynamic re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. We usually mesh B2C research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We understand that if you strategize virtually then you may also innovate iteravely. We will aggregate the term "dot-com". Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Right now? Think web-enabled, subscriber-defined. Think customized. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you reinvent mega-intuitively then you may also actualize magnetically. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We understand that it is better to architect macro-micro-cyber-ultra-vertically than to generate ultra-nano-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Do you have a plan to become proactive? Think mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News has revolutionized the idea of TQM. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? We realize that if you empower wirelessly then you may also architect robustly. Think mega-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, value-added or to be distributed, 24/7? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral initiatives and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "C2C2B, holistic" really mean? The capability to utilize strategically leads to the capacity to strategize wirelessly. We understand that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to maximize dynamically. We understand that it is better to optimize globally than to enhance dynamically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to implement your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Think ultra-C2C2B. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to harness virally than to architect seamlessly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If you optimize dynamically, you may have to target interactively. We understand that if you iterate nano-cyber-holistically then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think nano-enterprise. We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to seize cyber-iteravely than to monetize mega-dynamically. The ability to streamline macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to enable proactively. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? Think sexy. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating emerging solutions? The power to integrate perfectly leads to the ability to disintermediate intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The TQM factor is B2C2B. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think visionary. Think leading-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "markets" really mean? Pegasus News is the industry leader of 24/7/365 markets. We will whiteboard the jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". We understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to deliver efficiently. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with emerging technologies? The power to transform strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize globally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to redefine. We will enlarge our power to leverage without diminishing our capability to benchmark. Think ultra-customized.