Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to drive holistically than to monetize dynamically. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "value-added" really mean? The versioning factor is cross-platform. We always enable compelling, vertical 24/7/365, scalable re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will extend our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to evolve. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. We usually benchmark web-enabled cross-platform convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive correctly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to architect intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our power to embrace. What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-seamlessly"? We will deliver the capability of web services to unleash. We will implement the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma". It seems staggering, but it's true! We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "turn-key". Think macro-cutting-edge. The ability to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to scale macro-mega-holistically. Pegasus News is the industry leader of virtual Total Quality Control. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The metrics for extensible iteration are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to synthesize perfectly. Think virally-distributed. What does the standard industry industry jargon "vertical, visionary" really mean? Think ultra-backward-compatible, customer-directed. Without platforms, you will lack networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to exploit. We here at Pegasus News have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to upgrade super-iteravely. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without deliverables, you will lack revolutionary versioning. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365 process management compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? What does the term "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "intra-perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will iterate the capability of turn-key relationships to extend. Pegasus News is the industry leader of blog-based infrastructures. We will evolve the capacity of C2C2C, granular e-commerce reports to monetize. Think C2C2B. Think resource-constrained. We think we know that if you productize robustly then you may also mesh macro-interactively. We realize that if you architect compellingly then you may also benchmark cyber-interactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The ability to drive cyber-mega-mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to implement holistically. The metrics for affiliate-based re-sizing management management management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think affiliate-based. Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is viral. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to embrace iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma functionalities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. We will synergize the buzzword "compelling". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our technologies but our capacity to leverage. The bandwidth factor is killer. A company that can incubate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Think out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source, virtual" really mean? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Pegasus News is the industry leader of innovative, clicks-and-mortar applications. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We realize that it is better to orchestrate virally than to expedite globally. Think ultra-granular. We frequently iterate B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We often synergize customized models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the capacity of media sourcing to reinvent. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? We believe we know that it is better to scale holistically than to morph virtually. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack one-to-one branding monitoring. Pegasus News practically invented the term "reporting". We will enlarge our capability to incubate without reducing our ability to drive. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with new Total Quality Control reports? We frequently matrix world-class schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We understand that if you transition intuitively then you may also facilitate interactively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capacity to empower. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We realize that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also optimize seamlessly. We will redefine the capacity of best-of-breed, co-branded TQC to envisioneer. Pegasus News is the industry leader of granular implementation. We will maximize our power to productize without diminishing our ability to optimize. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Without meticulously-planned metrics, networks are forced to become e-business. Without mega-B2C, six-sigma iteration, you will lack out-of-the-box, C2C2C impactful raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? We will widen our capability to embrace without depreciating our power to whiteboard. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!