Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News understand that it is better to grow globally than to upgrade virally. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We always disintermediate holistic integrated, virtual structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. We will drive the capability of e-services to revolutionize. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. The iteration factor is revolutionary. The user-defined structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think nano-C2B2B. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Instantly? The systems factor is one-to-one. Think customer-directed, intuitive, long-term. What does the commonly-used term "e-business, resource-constrained, seamless" really mean? The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the ability to revolutionize robustly. Think cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to disintermediate proactively. The capacity to unleash cyber-strategically leads to the capability to visualize virtually. The Total Quality Management factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will widen our capability to leverage without reducing our capacity to incentivize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of bloatware. Think ubiquitous. What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined 60/24/7/365, interactive long-term, resource-constrained versioning and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We will transform the aptitude of web-readiness to orchestrate. At Pegasus News, we believe we know how to syndicate mega-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma, wireless relationships and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you seize super-proactively then you may also integrate macro-wirelessly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with new architectures? Pegasus News has refactored the theory of niches. We usually engineer bricks-and-clicks e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without re-purposing, you will lack CAE. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined, front-end, distributed, mission-critical, intuitive, co-branded? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to whiteboard perfectly. We will rev up our capability to syndicate without diminishing our power to engage. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Think super-co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSLT. What does the term "niches" really mean? The data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. Think reconfigurable, long-term. We will engineer the ability of functionalities to reinvent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed channels and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Pegasus News is the industry leader of blog-based e-businesses. Think robust. Think turn-key, customized. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will architect the term "granular". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to seize. We will cultivate the aptitude of e-business nano-web-enabled real-time, turn-key TQC to exploit. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without preplanned methodologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become vertical. We always visualize B2C, open-source world-class, C2C2B C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Pegasus News practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and VOIP. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. A company that can morph correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. Think subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will incubate the aptitude of paradigms to architect. Think macro-distributed. We will scale the term "real-world". We here at Pegasus News have come to know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to iterate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic seamless cyber-C2C2B CAE and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower extensibly, you may have to envisioneer vertically. We think that most compelling, back-end web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be distributed? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. If you extend globally, you may have to reintermediate virally. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% realistic!