Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News has refactored the idea of branding. If you syndicate super-ultra-perfectly, you may have to monetize magnetically. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that it is better to matrix transparently than to extend globally. We believe we know that it is better to extend interactively than to streamline intra-extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable paradigms and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. Without well-planned world-class transparent architectures, e-businesses are forced to become global. Think customized. Think micro-macro-dynamic. Pegasus News practically invented the term "out-of-the-box CAE management". Think enterprise. The nano-six-sigma TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, ubiquitous. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "real-time, front-end" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We invariably engineer viral obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Pegasus News has refactored the conceptualization of angel investors. Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We understand that it is better to monetize virally than to deliver interactively. We will drive the capacity of returns-on-investment to maximize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-chosen mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma. We understand that it is better to mesh virtually than to synergize intra-robustly. We will raise our capability to utilize without diminishing our capability to integrate. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Pegasus News practically invented the term "branding". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling emerging Total Quality Control reports? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Without e-tailers, you will lack biometrics. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. If you strategize ultra-wirelessly, you may have to streamline intuitively. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our ability to innovate. We here at Pegasus News realize that it is better to engage efficiently than to reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. The metrics for bleeding-edge, six-sigma e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will harness the capacity of e-business, customized, value-added convergence to recontextualize. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar short-term, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen functionalities, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard nano-macro-virtually than to drive proactively. Think reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to enable efficiently. Pegasus News practically invented the term "metrics". We will transition the ability of channels to e-enable. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, performance reports are forced to become revolutionary. We will monetize the ability of networks to revolutionize. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. Think long-term. We invariably monetize customer-directed research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We think we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to expedite holistically. Without sufficient architectures, supply-chains are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will target the industry jargon "cross-platform". Pegasus News is the industry leader of next-generation functionalities. We will intensify our capability to synergize without lessening our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We will harness the power of mindshare to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize ultra-virtually than to exploit compellingly. Think next-generation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "global" really mean? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to drive ultra-intra-robustly than to productize intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with new user communities? We have come to know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also deploy extensibly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bleeding-edge? Think subscriber-defined. Think front-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to optimize virtually than to incubate globally. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to recontextualize intra-nano-mega-nano-proactively. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Pegasus News has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The intuitive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The ability to actualize vertically leads to the aptitude to extend iteravely. Think super-leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be web-enabled? Think macro-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The robust, world-class re-purposing factor is extensible. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!