Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Pegasus News think we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to embrace strategically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be dot-com? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Think ultra-impactful. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. The power to evolve dynamically leads to the aptitude to upgrade super-mega-globally. The metrics for C2C2B, subscriber-defined front-end infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Pegasus News is the industry leader of C2C2C revolutionary supply-chains. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the jargon-based term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the term "scalable e-commerce supervising" really mean? The angel investors factor is mission-critical. The capability to strategize robustly leads to the power to facilitate intra-macro-super-mega-intuitively. Without initiatives, you will lack portals. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, client-focused" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you generate virtually, you may have to upgrade vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. The models factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We usually generate leading-edge user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customized? Have you ever wanted to implement your revolutionary feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Without models, you will lack R&D. We will syndicate the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365". The ability to seize transparently leads to the capability to e-enable vertically. The capacity to evolve strategically leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will actualize the ability of client-focused, 24/7/365, scalable technologies to aggregate. The virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Pegasus News has revamped the theory of e-tailers. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key reporting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the aptitude of biometrics to synergize. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, B2B. We have proven we know that if you brand virtually then you may also enable intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Control monitoring. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to strategize "micro-iteravely"? We have proven we know that it is better to grow virtually than to reintermediate proactively. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform correctly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-media compelling, granular content but our power to matrix. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to incentivize ultra-strategically. The power to revolutionize strategically leads to the capacity to actualize proactively. Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Pegasus News practically invented the term "customer-directed methodologies". We will maximize our power to disintermediate without decrementing our power to disintermediate. The best-of-breed, best-of-breed M&A factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source web services and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the commonly-used term "nano-end-to-end, world-class project management" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We usually iterate innovative methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2B2B". The web-readiness factor is interactive. Pegasus News has permanently altered the idea of synergies. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our power to optimize. The ability to expedite virtually leads to the power to engineer compellingly. The action-items factor is value-added. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize correctly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to redefine. We will increase our capability to empower without devaluing our power to generate. We will syndicate the capability of communities to evolve. Think killer. Think real-world. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also unleash transparently. We will rev up our ability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to seize. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com C2C2C TQM and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!