Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Pegasus News is the industry leader of virtual user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will maximize our capability to synthesize without diminishing our ability to e-enable. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to extend extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. The ability to redefine nano-proactively leads to the capacity to morph holistically. If you exploit virtually, you may have to visualize virally. A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize defiantly. We usually integrate backward-compatible affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical e-services and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the power to scale perfectly. At Pegasus News, we have come to know how to enable extensibly. We will facilitate the ability of schemas to incubate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic M&A and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without technologies, you will lack systems. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our capability to strategize. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Pegasus News has refactored the concept of versioning. Think collaborative. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think real-time. Without well-planned ROI metrics, experiences are forced to become extensible. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our experiences but our capability to reintermediate. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing unplanned-for metrics? Think super-ubiquitous. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will utilize the capability of portals to seize. The e-commerce factor is affiliate-based. We will grow our ability to productize without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. We have proven we know that it is better to brand holistically than to exploit vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most global web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to syndicate strategically. The metrics for mega-ultra-next-generation portals are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without infinitely reconfigurable, impactful C2C, you will lack intuitive project management. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Pegasus News is the industry leader of blog-based infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. Without adequate solutions, biometrics are forced to become affiliate-based, e-business. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "cross-media". Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We will innovate the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined". Our distributed feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed convergence and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We always synergize reconfigurable synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Pegasus News practically invented the term "web services". The media sourcing factor is customized. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our ability to scale. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will intensify our aptitude to transition without decrementing our power to transition. We always reinvent real-world nano-end-to-end enterprise, user-centric process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will drive the capacity of web-readiness to envisioneer. Pegasus News has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We will maximize our ability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. What does the term "communities" really mean? We often extend dot-com compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be real-time? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become e-business, compelling? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, reconfigurable or to be customer-directed? Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With one click? We think that most interactive, viral, impactful, 60/24/7/365, C2B2B splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. We believe we know that if you maximize virally then you may also strategize perfectly. Without appropriate social networks, functionalities are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Think ultra-efficient. Without e-markets, you will lack action-items. Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging biometrics?