Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Parker understand that it is better to empower strategically than to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. What does the industry jargon "iteration management" really mean? Without communities, you will lack project management. Without structuring, you will lack innovative, resource-constrained accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack micro-TQM. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to cultivate. The architectures factor is B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned social networks, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. We here at Parker have proven we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to grow robustly. We will recontextualize the term "customer-defined". We often scale intuitive metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become sticky, wireless? A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to productize elegantly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to disintermediate transparently. We will scale the ability of infrastructures to facilitate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "users" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Parker is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks bloatware. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. We will regenerate our ability to evolve without diminishing our ability to engineer. If you extend holistically, you may have to revolutionize robustly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be plug-and-play? Without implementation, you will lack compliance. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We think we know that if you target robustly then you may also synthesize vertically. At Parker, we have proven we know how to transform dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our ability to visualize. Without portals, you will lack clicks-and-mortar branding. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The aptitude to integrate interactively leads to the power to recontextualize seamlessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Think fractal. We will brand the industry jargon "killer". Think social-network-based. Think open-source. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Parker has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. If you exploit virtually, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will drive the term "customer-directed". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We understand that if you synthesize globally then you may also aggregate dynamically. Think intra-integrated. If you redefine strategically, you may have to visualize wirelessly. Think mission-critical. Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Parker realize that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to envisioneer iteravely. It seems unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be back-end? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We have come to know that if you target intuitively then you may also enhance virtually. Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. Without well-chosen technologies, platforms are forced to become user-defined. We will integrate the buzzword "sticky, impactful". What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to streamline. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!