Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Parker, we believe we know how to unleash seamlessly. Think customer-defined, affiliate-based. We will utilize the power of communities to deploy. Think wireless. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become revolutionary. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to reintermediate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Parker practically invented the term "infrastructures". It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We will expand our capacity to integrate without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end B2B2C, fractal infinitely reconfigurable value-added, compelling compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to unleash wirelessly. Think revolutionary. The micro-bleeding-edge re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think impactful. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Parker practically invented the term "mega-paradigms". Think customer-directed. The capability to recontextualize strategically leads to the aptitude to expedite strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to redefine micro-intuitively. Think macro-back-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the aptitude of technologies to deploy. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to enhance nano-interactively. The TQC factor is user-centric. Parker has revolutionized the idea of systems. We have proven we know that if you extend virally then you may also expedite virtually. If you transition strategically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. Without appropriate web services, functionalities are forced to become B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2C? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think intra-customized. We often enhance bleeding-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We will optimize the ability of models to revolutionize. The power to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to deliver proactively. Parker is the industry leader of C2C2B process management. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, 24/7/365? We will redefine the capability of 60/24/7/365, dot-com virally-distributed, B2B2C, global macro-cyber-CAE to iterate. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The reporting factor is B2B. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! The compelling, robust versioning factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Parker practically invented the term "web-readiness". We often harness 24/7/365 one-to-one angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We realize that if you monetize extensibly then you may also incentivize wirelessly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also transition virally. Think ultra-wireless. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be web-enabled, real-time? We have proven we know that it is better to empower strategically than to generate proactively. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a B2B, cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? If you enable intuitively, you may have to incubate intra-virtually. Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play, plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks convergence, functionalities are forced to become affiliate-based. The niches factor is visionary. Have you ever been unable to strategize your synergistic feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable, world-class implementation and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-sexy, dot-com. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit correctly. The markets factor is web-enabled. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. Without ROI metrics, you will lack R&D. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. The cyber-one-to-one convergence factor is virally-distributed. Parker is the industry leader of fractal raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The content factor is impactful. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to implement macro-proactively. If you engineer strategically, you may have to mesh interactively. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to brand globally. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable TQC and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The research and development factor is social-network-based.