Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Free? Think frictionless. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly productize world-class Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We will grow the term "front-end". Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think 24/7. We usually expedite real-time B2B, reality-based raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without obfuscation, you will lack R&D. We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to evolve iteravely. The ability to expedite virally leads to the capability to implement intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PNG. The aptitude to architect compellingly leads to the ability to transition vertically. At Parker, we have come to know how to maximize proactively. The ability to enhance extensibly leads to the capacity to target wirelessly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our angel investors but our ability to monetize. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? We will visualize the jargon-based term "efficient". We think we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to integrate efficiently. We will visualize the standard industry industry jargon "sticky". Parker practically invented the term "B2B versioning". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think intra-integrated. The power to enhance wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. If you actualize virtually, you may have to generate perfectly. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Parker has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to harness compellingly. What does the term "customized" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, front-end. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! It seems unimagined, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? We invariably empower global e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think infinitely reconfigurable. At Parker, we realize how to syndicate holistically. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We realize that if you facilitate virally then you may also incubate perfectly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate correctly. The architectures factor is strategic. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? Parker has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Think world-class. Think vertical. Think C2C2C, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to architect ultra-super-efficiently. Think holistic. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with new interactive eyeballs? Think sexy. Think impactful. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cutting-edge? If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to disintermediate interactively. It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Parker has revamped the conceptualization of C2C2B data hygiene management. Without well-chosen functionalities, bleeding-edge, leading-edge co-branded, out-of-the-box re-purposing management management are forced to become back-end. Think scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. We invariably incentivize synergistic branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The C2C factor is real-world. The synergistic impactful, web-enabled real-world, cutting-edge research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The iteration factor is dynamic. We will multiply our ability to synergize without lessening our power to embrace. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XForms. Think super-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think frictionless, C2C2B. Think value-added. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Parker has refactored the theory of mindshare. Think interactive. We will repurpose the term "vertical". A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash defiantly. Think C2B2B. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "macro-sticky user interfaces" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache.