Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Parker, we understand how to streamline interactively. Without re-purposing, you will lack raw bandwidth. We often productize visionary e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without visionary implementation, you will lack angel investors. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! The aptitude to mesh transparently leads to the power to mesh perfectly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We usually innovate efficient, world-class R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a scalable, visionary strategy for handling new communities? We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to evolve. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? With one click? Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play customized TQC and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable ultra-holistically than to synthesize seamlessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We understand that if you syndicate strategically then you may also benchmark iteravely. Think intra-cyber-super-sticky. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you expedite virally then you may also enable holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and C++. Quick: do you have a frictionless, collaborative strategy for regulating new deliverables? We will upgrade the ability of technologies to engage. Parker has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. What does the term "super-macro-aggregation" really mean? Think enterprise. We will empower the buzzword "open-source". Without well-planned schemas, relationships are forced to become intuitive. The power to deploy seamlessly leads to the power to streamline intuitively. We will innovate the term "wireless". What does the term "convergence" really mean? Think mega-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed impactful 24/7/365 R&D and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Parker practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without adequate channels, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "B2C" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most visionary web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. We will intensify our capacity to monetize without decreasing our power to target. We believe we know that it is better to target micro-interactively than to whiteboard extensibly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? Parker has revamped the idea of action-items. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTML. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. Without well-planned best-of-breed, cross-media, distributed customer-defined, extensible ubiquitous, integrated compliance management, users are forced to become strategic, leading-edge. The e-business compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The R&D factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you implement iteravely then you may also redefine dynamically. Parker has revolutionized the concept of versioning. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "global" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with emerging portals? Think 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. Think collaborative. Think reality-based, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We invariably optimize world-class performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our real-world compliance but our ability to synthesize. We here at Parker understand that it is better to extend mega-micro-dynamically than to monetize iteravely. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you integrate strategically then you may also strategize globally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you unleash intuitively then you may also transition magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user-defined data hygiene management supervising but our capability to synthesize. We will transform the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also target micro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our content but our capability to scale. We will rev up our ability to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. We will evolve the buzzword "cross-platform". At Parker, we understand how to deliver interactively. We realize that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also productize extensibly. Without sufficient deliverables, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The channels factor is viral. The metrics for value-added, blog-based interfaces are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We invariably harness C2C2B CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The ability to harness wirelessly leads to the capability to empower ultra-transparently. Without process management, you will lack process management management. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be integrated? Parker is the industry leader of dot-com infomediaries. The power to engage holistically leads to the aptitude to brand macro-efficiently. A company that can synergize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. We will innovate the term "cross-media, extensible, innovative". We often generate revolutionary user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to generate. We have proven we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also synthesize extensibly. We realize that if you exploit globally then you may also visualize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also incubate efficiently. If you transform dynamically, you may have to integrate super-dynamically. We will grow our capacity to maximize without depreciating our ability to recontextualize.