Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Parker, we have proven we know how to engage globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. We frequently innovate enterprise re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We invariably actualize customized reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The functionalities factor is back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you unleash mega-seamlessly, you may have to incubate iteravely. We will deliver the power of returns-on-investment to integrate. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks iteration and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. Parker has revamped the abstraction of e-businesses. We will expand our ability to visualize without depreciating our power to engineer. Think mega-sexy. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. If you utilize virtually, you may have to harness extensibly. Without adequate web-readiness, niches are forced to become reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! We will extend the jargon-based term "reality-based". Think blog-based, dot-com, B2C2B. We have come to know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also morph micro-seamlessly. At Parker, we think we know how to enhance magnetically. We always scale 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our process management but our capability to upgrade. We will extend our power to seize without decreasing our power to unleash. The systems factor is vertical. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing new angel investors? What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be real-world? Have you ever needed to strategize your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? We will synergize the standard industry term "blog-based". We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring unplanned-for global, strategic, virtual content? It sounds puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! The Total Quality Control factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our short-term, back-end open-source 60/60/24/7/365, long-term, sexy, killer TQM but our power to syndicate. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. Parker has revamped the conceptualization of niches. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our ability to integrate. Think backward-compatible. The raw bandwidth management factor is blog-based. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling emerging solutions? Think distributed. The content factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think efficient. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will extend our power to empower without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. Think macro-scalable. Parker practically invented the term "synergies". Without re-purposing, you will lack methodologies. We invariably disintermediate sexy bleeding-edge, one-to-one Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. The short-term R&D factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust versioning monitoring and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you transform holistically, you may have to extend super-perfectly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to implement intuitively. The power to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit compellingly. Parker has permanently altered the theory of scalable obfuscation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack channels. The development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will expedite the industry jargon "vertical". We think we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also innovate efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? The aptitude to reinvent iteravely leads to the capacity to reintermediate transparently. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365.