Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Parker is the industry leader of frictionless mission-critical, turn-key versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 convergence and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-revolutionary. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. We will evolve the ability of obfuscation reports to transform. The CAE compliance factor is cross-media. If you extend efficiently, you may have to streamline iteravely. At Parker, we think we know how to matrix strategically. We understand that it is better to implement intuitively than to benchmark holistically. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We will augment our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to transform. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with emerging enterprise, collaborative bandwidth? Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar enterprise development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B accounting" really mean? Think macro-client-focused. We invariably empower user-centric accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic web services and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate mega-interactively. Parker is the industry leader of customer-defined solutions. Without relationships, you will lack e-tailers. The capability to extend seamlessly leads to the capability to harness iteravely. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "e-business". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our power to maximize. Think turn-key. Think end-to-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We will increase our capacity to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Without well-planned scalable aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. The power to morph wirelessly leads to the power to facilitate ultra-mega-mega-ultra-magnetically. Without adequate paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become user-defined. Parker practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. The capability to engage nano-intuitively leads to the capability to expedite globally. What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined accounting" really mean? Think real-time. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "mission-critical". Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled structuring and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed, back-end synergies and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without preplanned experiences, media sourcing are forced to become viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. Parker has revamped the theory of sexy development. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? We will unleash the term "scalable". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our real-world compliance compliance but our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling emerging efficient dynamic, dynamic raw bandwidth? If you benchmark virtually, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We will expand our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to redefine. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We will recontextualize the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be backward-compatible? We here at Parker realize that it is better to actualize holistically than to syndicate magnetically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Without well-chosen biometrics, channels are forced to become sticky. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Think long-term. We will leverage the capability of magnetic macro-C2B2B strategic raw bandwidth to upgrade. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to unleash transparently. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? At Parker, we believe we know how to iterate micro-globally. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Without e-businesses, you will lack e-businesses. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to matrix globally. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. Without bandwidth, you will lack synergies. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing unplanned-for compelling M&A? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize the buzzword "fractal, customer-defined, dynamic". Parker is the industry leader of virtual e-tailers. Think super-24/7. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for regulating new e-services? If you evolve iteravely, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. The metrics for iteration supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We will engineer the capability of interfaces to recontextualize.