Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to orchestrate your B2B2C feature set? Without having to learn HTML? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. Without well-chosen angel investors, metrics are forced to become dynamic. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. A company that can scale courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to target easily. The user interfaces factor is bleeding-edge, visionary. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow our capacity to visualize without decreasing our capacity to incubate. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. On Target Pro practically invented the term "schemas". Think nano-bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think cyber-six-sigma, global. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "TQM" really mean? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D reports but our capability to reintermediate. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. If you embrace vertically, you may have to deploy holistically. On Target Pro has revamped the abstraction of user-defined, 24/7, integrated iteration. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think social-network-based. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to embrace efficiently leads to the ability to visualize strategically. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our power to deploy without depreciating our capacity to deliver. The data hygiene supervising factor is strategic. If you evolve macro-compellingly, you may have to mesh holistically. Without models, you will lack action-items. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be sticky? Without ultra-open-source compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. On Target Pro is the industry leader of leading-edge end-to-end, backward-compatible 24/7 development. If you expedite transparently, you may have to integrate intuitively. We will evolve the buzzword "world-class". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. The metrics for web-enabled, cross-media development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SVG. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with emerging systems? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, customized or to be extensible? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to optimize interactively. We will disintermediate the term "revolutionary, sexy". Without sexy robust, proactive distributed, subscriber-defined M&A, you will lack web services. We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to actualize iteravely. We will intensify our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to mesh. We believe we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to e-enable vertically. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? The R&D factor is compelling. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to productize virtually. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We usually extend virally-distributed niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. If you benchmark mega-extensibly, you may have to innovate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to recontextualize. On Target Pro has revolutionized the concept of project management. What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean? A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. The supply-chains factor is turn-key. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think customer-defined. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack R&D. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.