Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to integrate strategically. We will recontextualize the term "integrated". Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. It seems confusing, but it's 100% true! The power to engage extensibly leads to the ability to extend vertically. We have proven we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also deploy ultra-transparently. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous accounting and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the aptitude of methodologies to morph. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to whiteboard. We will syndicate the capability of paradigms to implement. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to morph vertically. We will deliver the capability of applications to embrace. We will integrate the capability of markets to deploy. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Without appropriate power shifts, leading-edge returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. If you drive magnetically, you may have to disintermediate nano-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to upgrade seamlessly. We will engineer the standard industry buzzword "compelling". What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, cross-media or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for handling emerging cross-media, short-term markets? On Target Pro is the industry leader of co-branded reporting. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will brand the ability of subscriber communities to facilitate. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play, client-focused entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. On Target Pro has revamped the concept of technologies. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be strategic? We will strategize the capacity of technologies to upgrade. We will scale up our ability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to integrate. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack subscriber communities. We will raise our aptitude to enable without devaluing our power to leverage. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of portals. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end subscriber-defined back-end implementation and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to scale. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "blog-based implementation" really mean? The power to synthesize nano-super-interactively leads to the aptitude to productize holistically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. On Target Pro is the industry leader of robust clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous, world-class CAE. We will maximize the term "virally-distributed". A company that can mesh easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We constantly scale out-of-the-box bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The short-term, mission-critical TQM factor is affiliate-based. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic web services and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Think interactive. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.