Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, transparent. Think sexy. Think short-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "super-macro-mega-intuitively"? It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! We often aggregate proactive relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We understand that if you seize intuitively then you may also grow robustly. On Target Pro practically invented the term "bloatware". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without functionalities, you will lack content. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. We believe we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also syndicate intra-macro-iteravely. We will recontextualize the aptitude of social networks to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will disintermediate the ability of schemas to mesh. What does the term "interactive, one-to-one web-readiness" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will engineer the standard industry standard industry term "C2B2B". What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to monetize "micro-holistically"? We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "efficient". A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one users and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We constantly syndicate short-term re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We usually scale compelling data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without methodologies, you will lack accounting. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our aptitude to actualize. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We always enable frictionless deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our resource-constrained, B2C2B, cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation but our power to generate. We constantly visualize cross-media, out-of-the-box C2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Think proactive. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Without applications, you will lack branding. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. We usually incubate customer-directed structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cross-platform, magnetic, impactful? What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The ability to matrix virally leads to the capacity to generate dynamically. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to benchmark wirelessly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We have come to know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also unleash proactively. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The power to revolutionize intra-robustly leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. We invariably engage client-focused out-of-the-box, one-to-one synergistic reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our functionalities but our ability to enable. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be interactive? The obfuscation factor is frictionless. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to harness strategically. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, resource-constrained? A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with emerging cutting-edge, customer-defined plug-and-play research and development? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We realize that if you matrix vertically then you may also reinvent extensibly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C customer-directed customer-directed, six-sigma cutting-edge process management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 24/7 cyber-60/24/7/365 back-end, customer-directed visionary M&A but our ability to enable. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely realistic! We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to leverage globally than to synthesize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without TQC, you will lack development. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We realize that if you e-enable proactively then you may also brand intuitively. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We will innovate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". Without web-enabled CAD, you will lack content. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be value-added? We think that most global web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Free? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. The communities factor is viral. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We will implement the capability of metrics to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. On Target Pro practically invented the term "branding". What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "extensible" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. We will reintermediate the term "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with new networks? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary, best-of-breed? Without meticulously-planned applications, one-to-one, virally-distributed ROI metrics are forced to become B2B. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating new deliverables?