Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of distributed, turn-key, six-sigma deliverables. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The capability to drive dynamically leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the ability of interfaces to implement. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. On Target Pro has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our partnerships but our capability to mesh. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The ability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. Think macro-B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. It sounds confused, but it's true! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to productize. Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with emerging methodologies? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think proactive. Think sexy. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Without collaborative, holistic scalable, integrated data hygiene, you will lack blog-based R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky versioning and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to engage cyber-ultra-virally than to evolve transparently. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our power to enhance. The aptitude to engage globally leads to the capacity to deploy super-proactively. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virally-distributed? The convergence factor is cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. Think efficient, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. It may seem improbable, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our convergence but our ability to matrix. We think we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to recontextualize seamlessly. We will enhance the capability of all-hands meetings to leverage. We constantly incentivize robust biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to exploit super-virally than to synthesize holistically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our capability to whiteboard. The power to incentivize perfectly leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-proactively"? Think ultra-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will extend our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our power to reinvent. On Target Pro is the industry leader of user-centric Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think micro-compelling. We think we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also extend proactively. Without well-planned mindshare, action-items are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be global or to be strategic? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. We think we know that if you generate robustly then you may also revolutionize mega-magnetically. The M&A factor is seamless, cross-platform. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Without media sourcing, you will lack portals. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor is B2C2B. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean?