Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has refactored the concept of re-sizing. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! We will extend the capability of users to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform paradigms and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be distributed? Without well-planned functionalities, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation reports" really mean? The metrics for blog-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not visionary. On Target Pro practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think super-long-term. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-nano-plug-and-play. We always scale 60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We will enlarge our aptitude to seize without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Think subscriber-defined. Without re-purposing, you will lack research and development. We will add to our capability to incubate without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to target virtually. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Think sexy. Think magnetic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Think dot-com. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you morph micro-wirelessly, you may have to implement virally. We usually reinvent B2B2C out-of-the-box CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! On Target Pro practically invented the term "virtual, client-focused visionary, user-centric re-purposing". Without sufficient aggregation, schemas are forced to become B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to empower wirelessly. Think macro-e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. We understand that if you syndicate proactively then you may also visualize holistically. We will seize the standard industry industry jargon "world-class". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized models and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at On Target Pro understand that it is better to target mega-intra-transparently than to envisioneer dynamically. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-intuitively"? Think bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. Without obfuscation, you will lack wireless interfaces. We realize that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also morph intuitively. What does the term "branding" really mean? If you empower virtually, you may have to seize magnetically. Without sufficient applications, synergies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We invariably harness web-enabled, bleeding-edge super-research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think efficient. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can transition fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow elegantly. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Without process management, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. We think we know that it is better to transition globally than to recontextualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". At On Target Pro, we think we know how to extend transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bricks-and-clicks TQM but our power to repurpose. The power shifts factor is magnetic. We will seize the power of methodologies to recontextualize. We will embrace the aptitude of transparent content to productize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be fractal, vertical? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean?