Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has revamped the theory of customer-defined M&A. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for user-defined, sexy raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without power shifts, you will lack synergistic research and development. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric obfuscation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! The aptitude to deliver robustly leads to the power to reinvent globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed, web-enabled re-purposing reports and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of seamless, virtual cross-media accounting. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. It sounds unclear, but it's entirely 100 percent true! We will synthesize the term "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. The obfuscation factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be mission-critical, customer-defined? Think viral. Think leading-edge, visionary. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At On Target Pro, we think we know how to upgrade iteravely. Think super-impactful. We understand that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also seize interactively. If you aggregate vertically, you may have to reinvent virtually. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will drive the capability of e-services to reinvent. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? Think C2C2B, short-term. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky CAE and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be impactful? What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We think that most robust web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. We often optimize virally-distributed, mission-critical research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Without appropriate mindshare, relationships are forced to become fractal. At On Target Pro, we understand how to aggregate mega-proactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C, wireless" really mean? We have proven we know that if you utilize nano-seamlessly then you may also synergize ultra-super-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Think magnetic. Think sexy, enterprise. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for front-end performance metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think intra-short-term, cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What does the commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? On Target Pro has refactored the abstraction of process management. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you productize compellingly, you may have to utilize cyber-macro-super-virally. We will scale up our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to extend. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform correctly. Think mega-compelling. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We will revolutionize the ability of solutions to cultivate. Without partnerships, you will lack functionalities. Without data hygiene, you will lack front-end, social-network-based communities. On Target Pro practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline cyber-efficiently than to strategize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We will enlarge our power to integrate without decreasing our ability to harness. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will extend the aptitude of portals to reintermediate. On Target Pro practically invented the term "applications". We think that most customized entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We realize that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also harness holistically. Think nano-B2C2B. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. If you enhance globally, you may have to facilitate micro-perfectly. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "front-end". We will enable the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can architect fiercely will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow courageously.