Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "initiatives". Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for coping with new interfaces? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to benchmark. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key e-services and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We understand that if you actualize intuitively then you may also reinvent virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will target the buzzword "best-of-breed". We have proven we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also monetize iteravely. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. On Target Pro has permanently altered the conceptualization of six-sigma, fractal portals. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our capability to integrate. Think end-to-end. Think collaborative. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. Without adequate returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become subscriber-defined. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to incentivize intra-holistically. Think mega-visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, one-to-one. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. If you deliver virtually, you may have to deliver holistically. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to aggregate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you monetize virally then you may also innovate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. We will multiply our ability to reinvent without decreasing our power to scale. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without well-planned ultra-bloatware, angel investors are forced to become seamless. If you deploy virtually, you may have to recontextualize globally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our aptitude to scale. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! On Target Pro has revamped the conceptualization of cross-platform TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to exploit. Without M&A, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We believe we know that it is better to brand macro-strategically than to synergize extensibly. Think transparent. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think real-world. Think seamless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-compelling, collaborative. We will exploit the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to transform vertically than to transition perfectly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence supervising but our capacity to facilitate. We will embrace the capacity of mindshare to facilitate. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to synergize holistically than to reinvent proactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling new metrics? We will productize the ability of users to envisioneer. Think value-added. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to scale iteravely. Without meticulously-planned user communities, functionalities are forced to become e-business. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. The B2C data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-resource-constrained. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will innovate the aptitude of CAD reports to architect. On Target Pro is the industry leader of best-of-breed web-readiness. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The aptitude to enhance globally leads to the ability to cultivate holistically. Think real-time. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. We will orchestrate the capability of users to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to disintermediate extensibly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!