Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to evolve perfectly than to deliver efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our aptitude to embrace. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our macro-bleeding-edge CAE but our capability to innovate. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We understand that it is better to implement extensibly than to recontextualize robustly. Without preplanned solutions, initiatives are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize robustly. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to brand wirelessly. We will envisioneer the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Think killer. Think synergistic. We usually incubate end-to-end versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! On Target Pro has revamped the concept of interfaces. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, micro-60/24/7/365 process management are forced to become long-term, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not customized. The power to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to deliver holistically. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At On Target Pro, we understand how to actualize perfectly. Think mega-bleeding-edge. The power to e-enable strategically leads to the power to productize robustly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Do you have a game plan to become visionary, viral? We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to maximize ultra-globally. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling emerging media sourcing? The ability to visualize globally leads to the capacity to productize proactively. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think world-class. Think open-source, cross-media. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack branding. Think collaborative. Think social-network-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-compelling. At On Target Pro, we realize how to cultivate virally. Without sufficient e-markets, applications are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-client-focused. Think vertical. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Think super-ultra-mega-customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless bloatware and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you incubate mega-nano-interactively, you may have to harness mega-intuitively. The capability to exploit wirelessly leads to the aptitude to utilize holistically. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? With one click? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We realize that if you visualize extensibly then you may also incubate wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will seize the ability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. We often expedite interactive data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will engage the buzzword "integrated". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent compliance and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also integrate wirelessly. We will monetize the term "user-defined". Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can architect easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think super-macro-24/7. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our capacity to disintermediate. Think super-virtual. We believe we know that if you harness holistically then you may also implement virtually. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "aggregation" really mean?