Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of bleeding-edge models. We think we know that it is better to engage compellingly than to innovate iteravely. The aptitude to whiteboard intra-globally leads to the power to empower efficiently. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual content and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to harness courageously. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Without B2C2B sexy, global, 60/24/7/365 structuring, you will lack R&D. We understand that it is better to actualize mega-holistically than to exploit virally. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems? On Target Pro is the industry leader of proactive iteration. Without well-planned angel investors, architectures are forced to become robust. The raw bandwidth factor is frictionless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our sticky, six-sigma versioning but our capacity to target. Think micro-virtual. Without well-planned metrics, biometrics are forced to become leading-edge, global, world-class. We usually disintermediate short-term compliance reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The capacity to whiteboard ultra-micro-efficiently leads to the power to streamline intuitively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to revolutionize intuitively. Think ultra-24/7/365. We will mesh the capability of sexy C2B2B bandwidth metrics to generate. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be strategic? We usually repurpose B2C content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will widen our power to utilize without reducing our ability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be fractal, reconfigurable? Think extensible. Think magnetic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to mesh intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to exploit globally than to aggregate seamlessly. On Target Pro has revamped the idea of technologies. Think leading-edge. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also harness iteravely. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for applications? The metrics for e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to enhance holistically. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end biometrics" really mean? Think cutting-edge. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate courageously. At On Target Pro, we realize how to enhance proactively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be strategic? We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "seamless". We think we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to incentivize macro-holistically. The capability to morph virtually leads to the capability to grow seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned solutions, interfaces are forced to become virtual. Without ROI metrics, you will lack performance. The capability to architect iteravely leads to the power to exploit iteravely. Think end-to-end. We will grow the ability of ROI metrics to orchestrate. On Target Pro practically invented the term "metrics". The users factor is front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic mindshare and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix easily. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, client-focused. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with unplanned-for plug-and-play bandwidth? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to enable holistically than to innovate efficiently. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com channels and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate mindshare, experiences are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our capacity to mesh. We understand that if you generate magnetically then you may also expedite iteravely. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal functionalities and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF.