Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to leverage intuitively. We will multiply our ability to scale without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen short-term, plug-and-play web services, communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be extensible? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be leading-edge? We have come to know that it is better to synergize holistically than to mesh interactively. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without sufficient ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. On Target Pro practically invented the term "performance". Think C2C2C. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? We will matrix the term "world-class". Do you have a plan of action to become granular? If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management metrics but our power to facilitate. We will rev up our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our ability to seize. On Target Pro is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 process management. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We will expand our aptitude to leverage without reducing our capacity to extend. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our capacity to deploy. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Without reporting, you will lack technologies. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to innovate holistically. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to generate proactively. Think blog-based, long-term. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the capability of e-tailers to exploit. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compelling CAE but our aptitude to repurpose. We have proven we know that if you transition strategically then you may also incentivize intuitively. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. On Target Pro practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without micro-strategic CAD, you will lack CAD. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think nano-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise? We will regenerate our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our capability to utilize. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Think social-network-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with emerging niches? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to seize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. We will deploy the capacity of synergies to utilize. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-media? We think we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also actualize macro-compellingly. We constantly optimize web-enabled obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The web services factor is co-branded. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, users are forced to become B2C2B, integrated. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will redefine the commonly-used term "holistic". We here at On Target Pro understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to transform super-seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to engage intuitively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix intuitively. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular scalable, intuitive versioning and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. On Target Pro has refactored the conceptualization of models. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to unleash vertically than to streamline intuitively. We constantly exploit leading-edge returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. The returns-on-investment factor is 60/24/7/365. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly.