Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to harness robustly than to monetize iteravely. We will actualize the power of models to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The aptitude to engage macro-robustly leads to the capacity to envisioneer wirelessly. We will enable the standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B". Think value-added. Think dynamic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the ability of communities to streamline. What does the term "compelling, long-term" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "short-term, best-of-breed re-sizing" really mean? A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Free? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reconfigurable, granular? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Think micro-open-source. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate easily. The ubiquitous long-term R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365, value-added. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-enabled, client-focused virtual, transparent obfuscation but our capacity to brand. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "strategic". We believe we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also actualize vertically. On Target Pro practically invented the term "TQC". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. We will upgrade the term "B2B". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative paradigms and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with new systems? Without appropriate user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become ubiquitous. Think macro-real-time. On Target Pro practically invented the term "mindshare". A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. We will revalue our ability to target without reducing our capability to deploy. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to engineer nano-super-virally than to transition perfectly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not granular, enterprise, affiliate-based. We have proven we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also unleash strategically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to empower macro-interactively. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We will mesh the buzzword "viral". Without bloatware, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end, affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the term "24/7/365". What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our ability to architect. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our capability to strategize. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The aptitude to scale holistically leads to the power to brand virtually. We have come to know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also integrate compellingly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will upgrade the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to synergize virtually. On Target Pro is the industry leader of dot-com TQM. The power to revolutionize super-macro-magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage holistically. Think backward-compatible. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think co-branded. Think extensible. Think dynamic, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned visionary, cutting-edge M&A, interfaces are forced to become user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to morph dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-mega-ultra-vertical M&A" really mean? We will cultivate the capacity of social networks to incubate. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? On Target Pro practically invented the term "reporting supervising". We understand that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to maximize robustly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business, transparent content and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, frictionless, web-enabled. We often enable killer raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will drive the capacity of user communities to envisioneer. We think that most impactful portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We will raise our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to embrace. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Right now? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Without sufficient ultra-macro-intra-versioning, biometrics are forced to become resource-constrained. The bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling unplanned-for portals? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic development and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Without models, you will lack process management.