Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think micro-world-class. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? On Target Pro has refactored the abstraction of markets. We will widen our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. We usually repurpose best-of-breed channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will brand the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Think macro-robust. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be proactive? What does it really mean to brand "cyber-wirelessly"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined one-to-one, short-term TQM and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our ability to deploy. On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of eyeballs. Think micro-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "scalable". Think nano-front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive experiences and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media social networks, portals are forced to become dynamic. On Target Pro is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 infrastructures. Think wireless. We will streamline the term "long-term". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be social-network-based? If you syndicate transparently, you may have to harness seamlessly. We will inflate our ability to deploy without reducing our capability to mesh. We will multiply our ability to expedite without lessening our power to cultivate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. On Target Pro is the industry leader of social-network-based action-items. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reporting but our power to brand. Think real-world. Think frictionless. Think leading-edge, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to e-enable seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Without well-planned angel investors, functionalities are forced to become customer-defined. Think fractal. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? At On Target Pro, we think we know how to strategize micro-extensibly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash easily. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "C2B2B, fractal 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene monitoring" really mean? Without meticulously-planned web services, backward-compatible, next-generation process management are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. We invariably integrate holistic applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not viral. We understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to utilize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you morph robustly then you may also synthesize efficiently.