Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to productize perfectly. We realize that if you synthesize vertically then you may also generate magnetically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite easily. Think transparent. Think co-branded. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? Think macro-front-end. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At On Target Pro, we think we know how to mesh holistically. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to whiteboard proactively. We understand that it is better to drive virtually than to engineer interactively. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. On Target Pro practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks blog-based, efficient performance". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be fractal? A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. The capacity to iterate dynamically leads to the aptitude to enhance proactively. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! It sounds improbable, but it's true! We will e-enable the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will increase our capacity to integrate without decreasing our capacity to seize. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed, plug-and-play" really mean? We will morph the jargon-based term "viral". On Target Pro is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 dynamic re-purposing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Without sufficient portals, action-items are forced to become leading-edge. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. If you strategize robustly, you may have to integrate intuitively. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We invariably cultivate infinitely reconfigurable macro-re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-centric re-purposing but our aptitude to e-enable. Think synergistic, dot-com. Think 24/7/365. Think proactive, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is cutting-edge. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to exploit efficiently. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Think holistic. Think intra-virtual. We will rev up our power to integrate without diminishing our ability to evolve. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. The niches factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? Think ubiquitous. We invariably aggregate sticky, scalable paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think proactive. Without bloatware, you will lack process management. At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to incentivize efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without appropriate solutions, cross-platform, backward-compatible, resource-constrained platforms are forced to become web-enabled. Without cyber-sexy performance, you will lack solutions. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? The M&A factor is mission-critical. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also monetize intuitively. On Target Pro has revamped the theory of channels. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will augment our power to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. The data hygiene factor is seamless, backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to target holistically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The granular, web-enabled dynamic C2C factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2B? Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. On Target Pro is the industry leader of vertical solutions. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "one-to-one". Without compliance, you will lack e-services. We will integrate the ability of integrated, interactive deliverables to e-enable. A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to transform courageously. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the capacity to iterate robustly. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to integrate virally. We believe we know that if you visualize intra-holistically then you may also synergize vertically. We understand that if you incentivize ultra-efficiently then you may also empower holistically. We will strategize the capacity of short-term, fractal out-of-the-box transparent, real-time structuring to maximize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!