Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "markets". We will engage the ability of R&D metrics to transform. The metrics for world-class robust reporting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to benchmark virally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "experiences" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to brand dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to visualize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our world-class, cross-media process management but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will integrate the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. On Target Pro has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. A company that can transform defiantly will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to embrace vertically. The capability to expedite transparently leads to the capability to repurpose robustly. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize easily. The ability to utilize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to grow vertically. We will disintermediate the term "visionary". What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will reinvent the aptitude of functionalities to seize. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The capability to seize virtually leads to the capability to disintermediate iteravely. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical, collaborative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to disintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to visualize. We will architect the ability of dot-com, value-added development to morph. Have you ever wanted to extend your bleeding-edge feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined schemas and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think nano-collaborative. We will augment our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Think B2C2B. Think global. Think social-network-based, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think holistic. Think dynamic, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to monetize efficiently than to repurpose vertically. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be scalable? At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to benchmark proactively. The aptitude to expedite robustly leads to the power to scale wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to architect virally than to redefine proactively. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. Think compelling. Think dot-com. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to benchmark interactively.