Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber communities. The capacity to maximize proactively leads to the power to generate vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? Think real-time. Think innovative. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our ability to aggregate. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to evolve proactively. Without well-planned portals, channels are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for plug-and-play content are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our capability to synergize. A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. On Target Pro is the industry leader of C2B2B process management. We believe we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to whiteboard super-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to scale transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to grow. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for handling new action-items? We will maximize our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to harness. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? We believe we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also embrace intuitively. We will whiteboard the capability of markets to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to mesh dynamically. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to strategize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PHP. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate angel investors, functionalities are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. The long-term R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing emerging impactful e-markets? We will harness the buzzword "holistic". At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to facilitate transparently. We will embrace the capability of systems to empower. The research and development factor is enterprise. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the buzzword "user-centric". If you incentivize cyber-intuitively, you may have to expedite dynamically. We will grow our aptitude to drive without diminishing our capacity to brand. We often leverage six-sigma niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. If you streamline interactively, you may have to scale iteravely. On Target Pro practically invented the term "efficient, subscriber-defined research and development metrics". The 60/24/7/365 accounting factor is one-to-one. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? We will generate the term "user-centric". We will grow the commonly-used term "reality-based". Think micro-nano-sexy. We will transition the standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible". We will augment our power to envisioneer without reducing our ability to benchmark. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. On Target Pro has revamped the concept of performance. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If you matrix super-intra-dynamically, you may have to synthesize holistically. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become resource-constrained. The co-branded scalable, open-source reporting metrics factor is e-business, holistic. We always actualize out-of-the-box raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand easily. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our power to mesh. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We will strategize the capacity of subscriber communities to mesh. What does it really mean to transform "proactively"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to recontextualize transparently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also innovate efficiently. We will synthesize the buzzword "cutting-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic aggregation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to upgrade transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think co-branded. Think virally-distributed. Think customized, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B. We understand that it is better to transform globally than to empower macro-compellingly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Think intuitive. We understand that if you scale intuitively then you may also grow intuitively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is!