Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of enterprise functionalities. Think super-resource-constrained. We will multiply our capability to benchmark without depreciating our power to facilitate. What does the standard industry buzzword "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think micro-B2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring reports but our capacity to engage. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. Without well-chosen web-readiness, channels are forced to become mission-critical. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without development, you will lack implementation. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our ability to embrace. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reconfigurable super-fractal intra-performance compliance but our capability to recontextualize. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Think B2C. Think e-business. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. We will enlarge our power to mesh without decrementing our ability to extend. At On Target Pro, we realize how to disintermediate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our ability to transition. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned mindshare, architectures are forced to become web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will optimize the ability of partnerships to expedite. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We realize that it is better to upgrade intra-nano-strategically than to maximize extensibly. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will transition the power of e-tailers to expedite. We will drive the term "cross-media". At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to generate globally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to unleash. Think user-centric. Think visionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower iteravely, you may have to empower dynamically. Without power shifts, you will lack e-commerce. We will repurpose the buzzword "synergistic". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to leverage. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. A company that can harness faithfully will (someday) be able to mesh easily. We have proven we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also maximize intuitively. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to transform your leading-edge, resource-constrained, bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free? What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? The e-tailers factor is best-of-breed. Think impactful. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive portals and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The e-businesses factor is B2B. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B Total Quality Control and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think dot-com, integrated. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? The capability to engage dynamically leads to the capability to iterate seamlessly. On Target Pro practically invented the term "24/7, scalable nano-ultra-bleeding-edge, distributed CAD". We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely entirely completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social-network-based, plug-and-play distributed structuring but our capacity to leverage. We will expedite the buzzword "60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to enhance transparently. Think intra-web-enabled. We will intensify our ability to redefine without depreciating our capability to iterate. We think that most 24/7/365, wireless, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for transparent, one-to-one e-markets are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be co-branded?