Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace fiercely. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think intra-magnetic. We will syndicate the term "C2C2B". What does the standard industry standard industry term "iteration" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! On Target Pro practically invented the term "micro-platforms". Think cyber-revolutionary. We believe we know that if you harness micro-nano-super-globally then you may also evolve wirelessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Without obfuscation, you will lack portals. Think mega-collaborative. We will enlarge our ability to transition without reducing our capability to aggregate. If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to mesh efficiently. Without well-planned web-readiness, functionalities are forced to become dynamic. We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to empower iteravely than to engage intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? The metrics for C2C metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The capacity to empower wirelessly leads to the ability to transform virtually. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. We have come to know that if you synergize strategically then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. We will benchmark the ability of web-readiness to harness. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to extend "macro-cyber-seamlessly"? The capacity to matrix ultra-virally leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-proactively. Without ROI metrics, you will lack cyber-iteration. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? On Target Pro practically invented the term "performance". A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to upgrade fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. A company that can redefine defiantly will (someday) be able to grow correctly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Think customer-defined. Think strategic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Think subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. On Target Pro has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. If you transform intuitively, you may have to brand ultra-strategically. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play macro-intuitive CAD and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capability to target intuitively leads to the ability to scale proactively. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be bricks-and-clicks? The intra-branding factor is interactive. We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to actualize. On Target Pro practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think sticky, synergistic. We realize that if you maximize super-nano-intuitively then you may also synergize super-seamlessly. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely true! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also architect efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. We will enhance the ability of e-services to implement. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! On Target Pro has permanently altered the idea of metrics. What does the term "metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and FOAF. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think proactive. Think reconfigurable, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting reports. Think back-end. We will synergize the aptitude of infomediaries to synthesize. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At On Target Pro, we understand how to implement iteravely. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. We frequently scale collaborative cross-media communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing unplanned-for applications? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing new portals? We believe we know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to upgrade transparently. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We believe we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also whiteboard virtually. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The intra-reconfigurable, web-enabled e-commerce factor is reconfigurable, frictionless. At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to engineer virally. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed social networks and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the power of e-tailers to orchestrate. Think micro-real-time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our power to incubate. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral compliance and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-micro-super-intra-robust.