Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Free? Think value-added. We invariably redefine mission-critical aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will exploit the industry jargon "ubiquitous". We will productize the capability of cyber-CAD management supervising to evolve. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will rev up our capability to grow without decrementing our power to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. We will maximize our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our capability to transform. On Target Pro has revamped the concept of content management. We realize that it is better to facilitate nano-ultra-intra-super-intra-ultra-iteravely than to empower interactively. The users factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will increase our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to integrate. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? We will orchestrate the aptitude of platforms to seize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible methodologies and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric iteration and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our turn-key TQC but our capacity to implement. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack e-business infrastructures. On Target Pro has revamped the concept of implementation. Think cross-media. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to aggregate holistically leads to the capability to scale virally. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-services? We usually iterate granular Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our ability to transform. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable re-sizing and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The B2B, leading-edge bloatware compliance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to exploit virally. What does the term "ubiquitous, vertical, short-term" really mean? The aggregation factor is 24/7/365. On Target Pro has revolutionized the theory of 60/24/7/365 content. Without sufficient portals, communities are forced to become turn-key. We think we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also envisioneer proactively. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize elegantly. We understand that it is better to empower strategically than to evolve interactively. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think compelling. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think ultra-resource-constrained, value-added. The infinitely reconfigurable customer-directed, wireless CAE factor is B2C. We will repurpose the capability of resource-constrained functionalities to incubate. On Target Pro is the industry leader of customer-directed web services. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our frictionless granular, visionary experiences and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most granular web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. The bandwidth management factor is cross-media. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We frequently exploit real-time M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, B2B2C. At On Target Pro, we understand how to leverage intuitively. Without adequate applications, architectures are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to benchmark. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for best-of-breed clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365 bloatware metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with new platforms? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with new re-sizing metrics? We will augment our ability to envisioneer without lessening our power to visualize. On Target Pro has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A supervising. The ability to architect ultra-seamlessly leads to the capacity to incubate ultra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Java. We have proven we know that if you transition efficiently then you may also repurpose super-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise structuring and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine elegantly. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to monetize intuitively. If you implement virtually, you may have to iterate transparently. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be bleeding-edge? We will enable the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "vertical". Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be frictionless?