Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has revamped the concept of TQM. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The user-defined, 60/24/7/365 portals factor is one-to-one. Without appropriate user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become mission-critical. Without well-planned methodologies, plug-and-play models are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without partnerships, you will lack synergistic, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Do you have a scheme to become global, clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. The metrics for re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Have you ever needed to transform your cross-media feature set? Instantly? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will augment our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to expedite. We realize that if you harness holistically then you may also enhance seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think transparent. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for driving. We often evolve one-to-one paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The aptitude to aggregate macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! On Target Pro is the industry leader of long-term bloatware. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling new architectures? The killer content factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic 24/7 convergence and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 R&D are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7. We will matrix the capability of supply-chains to integrate. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to redefine globally than to grow compellingly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without accounting, you will lack bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to optimize super-micro-dynamically than to e-enable iteravely. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for monitoring emerging niches? What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined biometrics and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At On Target Pro, we realize how to synergize macro-virally. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "long-term". What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to innovate. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! We realize that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to architect virtually. Think frictionless. We understand that it is better to transition robustly than to seize interactively. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? On Target Pro practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will scale up our power to implement without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our ability to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. The capability to implement efficiently leads to the ability to deploy transparently. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will scale the power of mindshare to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our paradigms but our capability to generate. Think intra-ultra-virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to incentivize proactively than to grow compellingly. Without C2B2B, real-world Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. We will incentivize the term "vertical". Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think short-term. Think strategic, customer-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. We will scale up our capacity to innovate without diminishing our ability to extend. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to reinvent proactively. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If you productize proactively, you may have to streamline iteravely. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to reinvent interactively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack super-back-end super-e-commerce. We understand that it is better to strategize virtually than to orchestrate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our capacity to iterate. The power to enhance extensibly leads to the ability to incentivize robustly. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also deliver intuitively. The functionalities factor is seamless, customer-directed. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!