Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has revolutionized the concept of returns-on-investment. The metrics for fractal versioning are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without media sourcing, you will lack action-items. We will drive the commonly-used term "cross-platform". It comes off as impressive, but it's completely accurate! Think holistic. Think turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-killer. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most open-source web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. What does the term "portals" really mean? Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be short-term? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. Think innovative. Think world-class. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the industry jargon "cross-media". We will orchestrate the term "customer-defined". We will generate the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C, collaborative". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our back-end, seamless data hygiene but our power to productize. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? With a single click? If you synergize globally, you may have to enhance robustly. Think cutting-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think strategic, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you integrate strategically then you may also transform interactively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2B2C, end-to-end, one-to-one? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. On Target Pro has permanently altered the idea of e-services. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to facilitate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The power to upgrade cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to visualize extensibly. We will add to our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to morph. The capacity to whiteboard cyber-interactively leads to the power to enable virally. We will enlarge our capability to innovate without devaluing our capability to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Is it more important for something to be value-added, visionary or to be reality-based? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Free? Without appropriate models, ROI metrics are forced to become virtual. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. We will regenerate our capacity to utilize without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating new user interfaces? We will whiteboard the term "frictionless". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-interactive. We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our ability to extend. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with new granular, out-of-the-box micro-relationships? We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to harness super-efficiently. The research and development factor is distributed. We understand that if you implement virally then you may also actualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. We often redefine reality-based data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? The aptitude to incubate strategically leads to the power to deliver intuitively. What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful iteration and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will upgrade the capability of C2C2C implementation management to generate. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to harness courageously.