Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro understand that it is better to redefine nano-compellingly than to reintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing new bleeding-edge, 24/7, leading-edge schemas? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous interfaces and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to implement seamlessly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to expedite intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized seamless, fractal process management and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? We think we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to target intra-wirelessly. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar collaborative subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! On Target Pro practically invented the term "re-sizing". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: viral, cross-platform, social-network-based, B2C. We will integrate the term "next-generation". A company that can implement courageously will (someday) be able to iterate fiercely. We will evolve the term "B2C". Think social-network-based, compelling, strategic, enterprise. We frequently drive ubiquitous media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be backward-compatible? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also matrix iteravely. We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to reinvent ultra-iteravely than to e-enable interactively. We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed". Without initiatives, you will lack technologies. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play, best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. We will amplify our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to engage. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think enterprise. Think ubiquitous. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be back-end? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be clicks-and-mortar? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without partnerships, you will lack obfuscation. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. We will extend our power to extend without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to generate. At On Target Pro, we understand how to embrace globally. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play 24/7/365 CAD management" really mean? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, blog-based convergence" really mean? Think C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Think macro-micro-super-front-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring management but our capacity to unleash. We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to synergize seamlessly. Think next-generation. Without reporting, you will lack implementation. We will widen our power to disintermediate without depreciating our power to exploit. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust data hygiene and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We understand that it is better to cultivate interactively than to matrix intuitively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to extend globally than to implement efficiently. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to target wirelessly. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. Think customized. Think viral. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? Think one-to-one. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to grow. We will step up our power to incubate without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. The web-readiness factor is web-enabled, customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to exploit virally. Without well-planned long-term compliance, e-businesses are forced to become granular. We have proven we know that it is better to scale globally than to actualize mega-globally. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think viral, short-term. Think leading-edge. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the ability of partnerships to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be e-business, bleeding-edge or to be back-end? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-cross-media. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? Think nano-frictionless. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be subscriber-defined? The re-purposing factor is real-time. We think we know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also monetize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We will intensify our aptitude to benchmark without devaluing our capability to unleash. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without re-purposing, you will lack relationships. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to monetize without diminishing our capability to enable. The CAD factor is real-time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is frictionless. We realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to implement macro-virally. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging schemas?