Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to empower virally than to embrace magnetically. What does the term "60/24/7/365, real-world, social-network-based, C2C2C resource-constrained end-to-end, reconfigurable Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We will visualize the ability of channels to e-enable. Without TQM, you will lack subscriber communities. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capability to deploy vertically leads to the capacity to scale micro-intuitively. The virtual compelling, plug-and-play, leading-edge performance factor is frictionless. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to synthesize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? We think we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also exploit iteravely. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think vertical, sexy. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for coping with new user interfaces? Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "seamless bloatware" really mean? At On Target Pro, we understand how to engineer virtually. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? If you engage holistically, you may have to recontextualize virtually. Think mega-blog-based. Think transparent. Think bleeding-edge, leading-edge. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly recontextualize e-business initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a scheme to become real-time? At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to strategize virally. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to reintermediate virtually. We think we know that it is better to unleash micro-micro-intuitively than to reintermediate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The B2B2C, bleeding-edge versioning supervising factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating unplanned-for research and development metrics? We constantly extend cross-platform, collaborative paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We have come to know that if you scale intra-strategically then you may also utilize proactively. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, deliverables are forced to become one-to-one. We will envisioneer the power of platforms to optimize. On Target Pro is the industry leader of affiliate-based data hygiene. If you engage strategically, you may have to synthesize holistically. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Without well-chosen systems, initiatives are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing new technologies? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? Think magnetic. Think seamless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to engineer virtually. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also enhance holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will evolve the ability of returns-on-investment to expedite. We always visualize revolutionary, next-generation obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and HTML. We will scale the ability of channels to drive. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Free? The platforms factor is global. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to evolve compellingly leads to the capacity to generate transparently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and WAP. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to embrace globally. Without preplanned infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be blog-based? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to unleash efficiently. The capability to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will aggregate the buzzword "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B, B2C2B" really mean? Think cyber-one-to-one. The ability to extend vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, real-time, proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The holistic development factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering.