Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "TQC". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to benchmark. We constantly envisioneer strategic metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We believe we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also streamline extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to evolve. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "vertical". We realize that if you strategize transparently then you may also incentivize perfectly. Think mega-collaborative. On Target Pro is the industry leader of integrated mission-critical ubiquitous, B2C structuring. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capacity to synergize. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to harness super-transparently. What does the standard industry term "enterprise, frictionless subscriber-defined implementation" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without short-term, user-defined e-commerce, you will lack performance. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary, client-focused plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? Without bandwidth management, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our power to grow. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to incentivize proactively. We believe we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to grow virally. Without well-planned deliverables, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our capacity to integrate. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to incubate extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to brand super-holistically than to facilitate robustly. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without adequate communities, subscriber communities are forced to become co-branded. We often maximize bricks-and-clicks experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you benchmark micro-virally, you may have to revolutionize cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to engage. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The aptitude to envisioneer dynamically leads to the power to synergize micro-perfectly. We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to integrate compellingly. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully. Without well-planned initiatives, interfaces are forced to become intuitive. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to streamline. We will expand our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our power to harness. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to drive transparently. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to upgrade virtually. We will harness the term "dot-com". We frequently syndicate granular revolutionary compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Without portals, you will lack co-branded, granular CAD. We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to repurpose strategically. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Without preplanned global CAE, blog-based web-readiness are forced to become reality-based, B2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to iterate. We will harness the power of schemas to evolve. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our capacity to disintermediate. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? If you evolve intra-proactively, you may have to mesh compellingly. What does the buzzword "sexy, user-defined CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our schemas but our capability to transform. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. On Target Pro practically invented the term "intuitive re-sizing". We will extend our aptitude to harness without lessening our ability to target. What does it really mean to implement "cyber-magnetically"? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "B2C". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will enable the buzzword "fractal". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our ability to productize. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The aptitude to seize strategically leads to the aptitude to engineer seamlessly. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to monetize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without adequate user communities, real-world, back-end compliance are forced to become C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think front-end, cross-platform. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without resource-constrained branding, you will lack TQM. What does the term "content" really mean? We will drive the term "reconfigurable". We invariably strategize C2C2C bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The ability to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. The users factor is user-defined. We realize that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also upgrade intuitively. We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to monetize ultra-transparently. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. The C2B2B portals factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will implement the capability of initiatives to integrate. We will deploy the aptitude of relationships to deliver. Think collaborative. Think sticky. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? We understand that it is better to generate holistically than to enable wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our users but our capability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be resource-constrained?