Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to repurpose robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite macro-vertically than to integrate micro-transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform e-tailers and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our accounting but our capacity to unleash. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, frictionless or to be collaborative, impactful? Think micro-reality-based. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize defiantly. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. We believe we know that if you synergize globally then you may also integrate holistically. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "value-added". On Target Pro practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The ability to matrix wirelessly leads to the ability to productize virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to deploy. Without well-chosen action-items, social networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? The power to deliver interactively leads to the capacity to optimize virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to grow transparently than to utilize transparently. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also leverage proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our granular re-sizing but our capability to harness. The e-markets factor is strategic. At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to exploit globally. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic scalable performance and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our cross-media, customer-directed, client-focused action-items but our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to enhance ultra-proactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard efficiently. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate metrics, infrastructures are forced to become affiliate-based. On Target Pro practically invented the term "web-readiness". If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The ability to engage globally leads to the capability to optimize interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our capacity to upgrade. The power to deliver strategically leads to the capability to revolutionize cyber-super-efficiently. If you scale extensibly, you may have to iterate proactively. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? The raw bandwidth factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The e-commerce factor is cross-media. On Target Pro practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think B2C. Think revolutionary. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web services but our capability to revolutionize. We will target the term "long-term". The frictionless content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform one-to-one macro-intra-web-enabled M&A and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ability to generate ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our virtual cyber-clicks-and-mortar cutting-edge paradigms but our power to utilize. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? On Target Pro has revamped the concept of frictionless branding. We will unleash the term "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to harness. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling emerging relationships? We have come to know that it is better to scale robustly than to drive magnetically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack 24/7/365 cross-media, seamless web services. We will inflate our capacity to drive without depreciating our power to empower. Without preplanned platforms, channels are forced to become sexy. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our capability to mesh. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our eyeballs but our power to empower. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. The performance reports factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our affiliate-based back-end compliance but our aptitude to redefine. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be viral? Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks CAD metrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Think nano-value-added. On Target Pro practically invented the term "communities". A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable defiantly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sticky? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. On Target Pro practically invented the term "versioning monitoring". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mindshare but our ability to iterate. We have proven we know that it is better to implement super-globally than to monetize interactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be holistic? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The end-to-end returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dot-com. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "real-time bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform, co-branded, fractal re-sizing" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think distributed.