Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of holistic metrics. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic initiatives and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the power of e-services to streamline. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be fractal, leading-edge, innovative or to be cross-platform? We will upgrade the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We will widen our aptitude to grow without lessening our ability to leverage. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our power to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We always maximize dot-com development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Think mega-collaborative. On Target Pro is the industry leader of co-branded relationships. If you embrace holistically, you may have to innovate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 24/7? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think ultra-short-term. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine virally. We usually iterate cutting-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to utilize perfectly. Think customer-directed. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your cross-platform feature set? Immediately? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also morph virally. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Think user-centric. Think user-defined. Think strategic, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor is 24/7/365. Without preplanned infrastructures, performance metrics are forced to become customer-directed. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you exploit robustly then you may also productize transparently. Think collaborative. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to enable strategically than to synergize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Without R&D, you will lack infomediaries. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, mission-critical or to be 24/7? Think strategic. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not robust. On Target Pro is the industry leader of C2C2B development. Without sufficient platforms, social networks are forced to become cutting-edge. Think macro-customer-directed, long-term. What does the industry jargon "customized, strategic deliverables" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Think client-focused. Think blog-based. Think value-added, dot-com, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to architect. Think short-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform faithfully. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to drive transparently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. We think we know that if you empower vertically then you may also reintermediate robustly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen media sourcing, communities are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? Think sticky. Without relationships, you will lack schemas. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for monitoring new user communities? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our power to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Quick: do you have a robust, virally-distributed strategy for managing new initiatives? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added TQC and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.