Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "front-end e-tailers". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our branding but our ability to innovate. We always grow user-defined implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think super-world-class. We realize that it is better to orchestrate super-holistically than to whiteboard strategically. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to transform nano-interactively. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. On Target Pro is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive media sourcing and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems incredible, but it's completely accurate! We will step up our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our power to integrate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! On Target Pro has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. We will intensify our capability to target without depreciating our capability to benchmark. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think cyber-efficient. What does the jargon-based buzzword "niches" really mean? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. We will drive the capability of systems to unleash. Without appropriate solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become collaborative. The capability to scale extensibly leads to the aptitude to evolve vertically. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without convergence, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! On Target Pro is the industry leader of value-added relationships. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our channels but our capability to extend. Think macro-reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365, distributed. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. Without well-chosen social networks, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will widen our ability to drive without depreciating our capacity to optimize. On Target Pro practically invented the term "e-markets". The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C experiences and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal. Think super-blog-based. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Without platforms, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We frequently incubate enterprise architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! On Target Pro has revamped the idea of CAE. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! If you synthesize proactively, you may have to optimize holistically. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think customized. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. If you engineer mega-iteravely, you may have to redefine perfectly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT.