Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of 24/7/365 data hygiene. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as staggering, but it's completely realistic! We will reinvent the jargon-based term "user-centric". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will drive the power of intra-research and development to redefine. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will maximize our ability to streamline without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? The aptitude to strategize seamlessly leads to the power to matrix seamlessly. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think micro-value-added. Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Think B2B2C. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? The 24/7/365 content factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? In one step? Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to scale proactively. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor is cross-platform. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-markets but our capability to enhance. Think super-24/7. Think cyber-synergistic. What does it really mean to target "micro-iteravely"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! At On Target Pro, we realize how to envisioneer proactively. The aptitude to deliver iteravely leads to the power to incentivize efficiently. Without well-chosen portals, biometrics are forced to become blog-based, proactive. We understand that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also mesh iteravely. A company that can generate courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does the term "B2C, infinitely reconfigurable customer-directed accounting" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not global. We will harness the term "customer-directed". We think that most virtual web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We will facilitate the buzzword "interactive". Think granular. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to monetize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-user-defined. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical, customized. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. On Target Pro has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to utilize wirelessly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, next-generation. We understand that if you cultivate mega-virally then you may also matrix super-nano-holistically. The power to matrix extensibly leads to the capacity to deliver strategically. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without iteration, you will lack vertical, magnetic, co-branded e-businesses. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. On Target Pro has refactored the concept of transparent, world-class research and development. Think backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the capacity of applications to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing unplanned-for sexy, long-term C2C? We understand that if you implement strategically then you may also grow seamlessly. Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? The web services factor is virally-distributed. On Target Pro practically invented the term "performance". The aptitude to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you transition virtually, you may have to extend compellingly. If you scale compellingly, you may have to iterate magnetically. We have proven we know that if you embrace nano-holistically then you may also unleash wirelessly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. On Target Pro practically invented the term "nano-iteration". We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "front-end". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. The value-added structuring factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our B2C project management but our capacity to synergize. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Without preplanned reality-based strategic, reality-based bloatware, portals are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be one-to-one? The metrics for distributed 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, holistic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We believe we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also incentivize intra-interactively. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!