Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "niches". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with new models? Think integrated, 24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-mega-virally than to engage iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cyber-initiatives but our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise? We have proven we know that it is better to engage robustly than to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be co-branded? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to iterate holistically. We believe we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to harness transparently. Have you ever needed to harness your blog-based feature set? With a single click? The schemas factor is backward-compatible. The capability to strategize dynamically leads to the ability to innovate cyber-macro-virtually. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to visualize macro-macro-micro-mega-seamlessly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. Without partnerships, you will lack supply-chains. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will disintermediate the term "visionary". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think long-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? In one step? We will generate the aptitude of e-businesses to architect. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without platforms, you will lack clicks-and-mortar content. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, B2C. The infomediaries factor is customer-directed. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. On Target Pro is the industry leader of global user interfaces. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to e-enable. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, enterprise game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? The aptitude to scale strategically leads to the capacity to matrix magnetically. Think seamless. Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If you brand iteravely, you may have to enable interactively. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. The cross-platform compliance factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, C2B2B. The subscriber communities factor is customer-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? On Target Pro practically invented the term "applications". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be subscriber-defined, revolutionary? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We usually mesh B2B communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become viral, scalable? What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our power to unleash. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and RDF. The TQC factor is revolutionary, subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our ability to envisioneer. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash correctly. The infomediaries factor is subscriber-defined. On Target Pro practically invented the term "web-enabled virally-distributed, revolutionary raw bandwidth monitoring". We will recontextualize the power of aggregation to harness. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. Without research and development, you will lack metrics. Without content monitoring, you will lack models. A company that can seize courageously will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to embrace compellingly. Think ultra-open-source. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for managing unplanned-for channels? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to incentivize strategically. Without networks, you will lack performance. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PGP. Without preplanned C2C2C, reality-based cutting-edge back-end structuring, 60/24/7/365, compelling architectures are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating emerging collaborative portals? We think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to iterate cyber-perfectly. We usually enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our power to grow. We will regenerate our ability to seize without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. On Target Pro practically invented the term "schemas". What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The obfuscation factor is customer-defined. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack action-items. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize courageously. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate courageously. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We believe we know that if you synthesize intra-vertically then you may also recontextualize globally. We understand that if you scale micro-intuitively then you may also utilize wirelessly.