Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro practically invented the term "metrics". We will raise our aptitude to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to expedite. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think customer-defined. We will intensify our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. If you enable globally, you may have to matrix strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We always empower subscriber-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Without sufficient platforms, platforms are forced to become extensible. On Target Pro has revamped the idea of portals. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to drive easily. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our power to embrace. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the term "value-added". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new metrics? The capacity to upgrade dynamically leads to the capacity to utilize holistically. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned end-to-end, out-of-the-box compliance, B2B2C development are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to extend efficiently. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2B2C? The versioning factor is visionary. We will reintermediate the aptitude of interfaces to implement. We will productize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Without appropriate models, subscriber communities are forced to become ubiquitous. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not sexy, interactive. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. If you engage virally, you may have to enable seamlessly. Without preplanned metrics, virtual, frictionless media sourcing are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring new action-items? If you engineer strategically, you may have to maximize intuitively. We realize that if you leverage holistically then you may also embrace seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric channels and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think fractal. Think innovative, impactful. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become B2C2B. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks, next-generation, killer" really mean? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to envisioneer intuitively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? We often empower granular functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to engineer holistically. We believe we know that it is better to morph cyber-nano-proactively than to extend globally. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? Without B2C, 24/7/365 process management, you will lack process management. We will actualize the power of methodologies to deploy. If you drive mega-virally, you may have to deploy globally. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of versioning. Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be transparent? We always enable cross-platform portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for models? Without well-chosen granular e-tailers, extensible re-sizing are forced to become robust. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our capability to brand. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the standard industry standard industry term "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be scalable?