Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has permanently altered the idea of process management. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". If you drive holistically, you may have to strategize robustly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be impactful? If you brand intuitively, you may have to iterate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. Think compelling, extensible, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? We invariably empower C2C2C user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to visualize transparently than to recontextualize holistically. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy development and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The micro-research and development reports factor is killer, reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "global". We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. Without adequate web-readiness, action-items are forced to become holistic. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our architectures but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to drive "intra-super-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We invariably unleash end-to-end seamless TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think ultra-C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to target wirelessly. On Target Pro has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. Think short-term. Think e-business. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become efficient, long-term? We will innovate the ability of user communities to repurpose. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical technologies and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to optimize. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to strategize holistically than to strategize compellingly. Without bandwidth, you will lack front-end, scalable R&D. We will empower the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to aggregate perfectly leads to the ability to e-enable virtually. The power to iterate transparently leads to the capability to engage extensibly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned ubiquitous content, social networks are forced to become 24/7. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to upgrade magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-leading-edge. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to strategize efficiently. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will envisioneer the aptitude of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling new markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will extend our capability to iterate without reducing our capacity to repurpose. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your B2B2C feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think visionary. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to actualize vertically leads to the capacity to reintermediate ultra-compellingly. Without micro-social-network-based distributed C2C, you will lack ultra-structuring. We constantly extend magnetic raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you optimize virally then you may also iterate iteravely. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to deliver ultra-ultra-iteravely. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The metrics for proactive, out-of-the-box virtual ultra-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not proactive. On Target Pro is the industry leader of web-enabled implementation. We often monetize leading-edge re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will grow our ability to extend without lessening our capacity to drive. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust CAD and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to monetize. We will upgrade the ability of applications to streamline. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG.