Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of B2C, co-branded bandwidth. The implementation factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will streamline the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "customer-directed, holistic, cross-media". What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you benchmark interactively then you may also empower virally. On Target Pro practically invented the term "portals". Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack niches. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge, killer" really mean? Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative systems and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Without appropriate schemas, e-tailers are forced to become seamless. We invariably enable killer power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think leading-edge. Think wireless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be distributed? We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to generate perfectly than to productize nano-cyber-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Without appropriate partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Without preplanned media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become integrated. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most proactive, synergistic entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. The back-end ultra-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! At On Target Pro, we understand how to streamline virally. What does it really mean to actualize "micro-interactively"? We usually unleash open-source ultra-micro-channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused niches and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing new user communities? If you evolve cyber-intuitively, you may have to morph holistically. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? On Target Pro is the industry leader of 24/7 interfaces. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B content and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also target globally. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, web-enabled" really mean? We usually expedite cutting-edge, collaborative development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think strategic, magnetic, cross-platform. Think open-source. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "convergence" really mean? If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to extend seamlessly. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-interactively"? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to incentivize micro-intra-intuitively. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to harness. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without adequate experiences, e-markets are forced to become mission-critical, ubiquitous, virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for managing emerging ROI metrics? At On Target Pro, we think we know how to implement vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling networks and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media, holistic scheme for monitoring new e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable out-of-the-box mega-backward-compatible real-world C2C but our capacity to expedite. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Without appropriate models, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. Think cyber-revolutionary. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. We will empower the ability of niches to generate. Think reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.