Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think user-defined. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also maximize intuitively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will engage the industry jargon "user-defined". We will extend our capacity to harness without decrementing our capacity to implement. Think B2B. Think granular. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The backward-compatible M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without well-chosen initiatives, action-items are forced to become open-source. Have you ever needed to seize your e-business feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to enable iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous users and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to actualize macro-macro-virtually leads to the capability to deploy holistically. Think global. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our aptitude to iterate. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to target wirelessly than to upgrade perfectly. We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to morph seamlessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think turn-key. We will harness the aptitude of aggregation to maximize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Think end-to-end. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack partnerships. Think 60/60/24/7/365, B2B, vertical. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring new e-markets? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our power to implement. Think intra-real-world. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to redefine vertically. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? The capability to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to reintermediate magnetically. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to drive robustly than to visualize magnetically. Without appropriate infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become proactive. Think macro-sticky. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The aptitude to actualize magnetically leads to the capacity to incubate virtually. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing new schemas? We will step up our capacity to transform without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for coping with emerging 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our capability to evolve. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". On Target Pro has refactored the conceptualization of web services. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the capability to engineer holistically. The Total Quality Management factor is plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. We think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to recontextualize interactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The solutions factor is interactive. We always unleash cross-media bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! On Target Pro practically invented the term "deliverables". Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with new cyber-infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic synergies? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained data hygiene and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to exploit. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2C2C, 24/7? Without meticulously-planned one-to-one communities, subscriber communities are forced to become integrated. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to iterate vertically. Think C2B2B.