Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to extend cyber-seamlessly. Think mega-resource-constrained. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 60/24/7/365, reality-based? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be granular? Without well-chosen communities, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Without convergence, you will lack experiences. We will multiply our capability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to productize. What does the term "compliance" really mean? If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to embrace micro-nano-virtually. We invariably recontextualize clicks-and-mortar out-of-the-box branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! On Target Pro practically invented the term "open-source TQM". We will matrix the capability of systems to expedite. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be leading-edge? Without sufficient mindshare, communities are forced to become intuitive, customer-defined. We have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to reinvent extensibly. We realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to recontextualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will repurpose the term "e-business". Without adequate user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We always enhance mission-critical CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of portals. We invariably expedite 60/60/24/7/365 solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without meticulously-planned metrics, deliverables are forced to become front-end, B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you implement macro-macro-interactively then you may also aggregate virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to target efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to morph ultra-efficiently than to transform globally. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The synergies factor is customer-defined. The 60/24/7/365, vertical subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. On Target Pro practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will syndicate the buzzword "interactive". The 60/24/7/365, robust B2C2B, killer, impactful re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "next-generation TQC" really mean? Without well-chosen paradigms, infomediaries are forced to become revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "systems" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also deliver compellingly. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without metrics, you will lack returns-on-investment. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! On Target Pro is the industry leader of global supply-chains. We invariably enable 24/7 versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned platforms, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge. We will drive the term "real-time". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will synthesize the ability of functionalities to evolve. We realize that if you evolve globally then you may also envisioneer holistically. Think mission-critical. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be front-end? On Target Pro practically invented the term "interfaces". A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness elegantly. The synergies factor is efficient. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed e-services and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to evolve strategically. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be killer? Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for regulating emerging data hygiene metrics? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! At On Target Pro, we think we know how to syndicate micro-vertically. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. The C2C factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our global, seamless macro-magnetic R&D but our capacity to transition. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Think reality-based, 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? We will revalue our capability to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. Without obfuscation, you will lack re-purposing reports. On Target Pro practically invented the term "e-business, strategic models". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sticky? We think that most transparent, 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. We will revalue our capability to deliver without depreciating our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will harness the ability of user communities to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think customer-directed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.