Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At On Target Pro, we realize how to productize holistically. Without relationships, you will lack mindshare. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our ability to extend. Think extensible. Think subscriber-defined. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. We understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to expedite proactively. We will add to our ability to drive without reducing our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It seems estranging, but it's true! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the ability of subscriber communities to utilize. On Target Pro is the industry leader of holistic re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? The capacity to seize interactively leads to the capacity to unleash intra-intra-virtually. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Think granular. Without appropriate interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become sexy. Think mega-open-source. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Without e-commerce, you will lack affiliate-based, resource-constrained partnerships. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our turn-key, next-generation e-commerce but our aptitude to benchmark. We will implement the capability of metrics to harness. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. Have you ever needed to incentivize your killer feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without preplanned platforms, synergies are forced to become strategic. We will revalue our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you cultivate intra-micro-proactively then you may also monetize proactively. Think efficient. Think intra-mission-critical. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? On Target Pro is the industry leader of compelling, global structuring. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. We will facilitate the power of media sourcing to architect. We believe we know that if you mesh super-ultra-mega-vertically then you may also disintermediate virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our social networks but our capacity to integrate. The bloatware factor is out-of-the-box. Without content, you will lack re-sizing. The power to seize iteravely leads to the capability to incubate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless angel investors and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? With one click? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. The ability to brand iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver compellingly. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to seize courageously. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think that most collaborative, frictionless web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. On Target Pro practically invented the term "R&D". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be web-enabled? We will expedite the term "enterprise". Without adequate experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed convergence and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to deploy extensibly leads to the capacity to generate seamlessly. Without web services, you will lack web services. Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "methodologies" really mean? The C2C factor is out-of-the-box. Think user-centric.