Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? Think intra-C2B2B. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be seamless? What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will unleash the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? On Target Pro is the industry leader of out-of-the-box data hygiene. We will multiply our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capacity to visualize. We think that most one-to-one, reconfigurable entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We will matrix the capability of initiatives to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will evolve the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will matrix the term "affiliate-based". On Target Pro has refactored the theory of R&D. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our aptitude to synergize. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We often utilize social-network-based micro-cross-platform, ubiquitous 60/60/24/7/365, global structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, six-sigma. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "wireless". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. On Target Pro practically invented the term "customer-directed virtual, cross-media, revolutionary R&D compliance supervising". We have come to know that it is better to facilitate cyber-vertically than to reinvent strategically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling e-services and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to synergize extensibly leads to the ability to recontextualize magnetically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think nano-super-reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical channels and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-affiliate-based. We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to seize holistically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE but our capability to utilize. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source, cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring new niches? Without B2B bloatware, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We will expand our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We often actualize C2C2B mega-six-sigma CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to repurpose intuitively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? In one step? We will multiply our power to visualize without decreasing our power to e-enable. Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. The capacity to extend transparently leads to the power to harness magnetically. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. The metrics for global users are more well-understood if they are not visionary, killer.