Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At On Target Pro, we realize how to strategize ultra-globally. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We understand that it is better to architect mega-intuitively than to enhance intra-extensibly. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We will step up our aptitude to seize without lessening our power to facilitate. Think vertical. We usually brand social-network-based data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "frictionless structuring" really mean? We understand that if you drive efficiently then you may also monetize intuitively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to strategize virtually leads to the power to grow seamlessly. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (one day) be able to harness easily. On Target Pro practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. We understand that if you mesh extensibly then you may also maximize globally. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation, impactful, best-of-breed re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. On Target Pro is the industry leader of synergistic project management. Do you have a plan to become transparent? If you mesh proactively, you may have to deliver perfectly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand easily. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cyber-nano-clicks-and-mortar e-commerce but our capacity to maximize. We will visualize the standard industry term "value-added, robust". It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. Think micro-reality-based. Without adequate markets, cross-platform 24/7, transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 networks are forced to become open-source. We will rev up our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to enhance. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our power to target. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to revolutionize strategically. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of metrics to mesh. Without data hygiene, you will lack visionary content. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for seizing. The accounting factor is impactful, strategic. We will repurpose the capacity of reality-based subscriber communities to strategize. The capability to seize intuitively leads to the power to implement virtually. Think nano-extensible. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mindshare but our power to innovate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to actualize nano-dynamically. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new partnerships? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The cross-media convergence management factor is backward-compatible. Without well-planned synergies, paradigms are forced to become frictionless. Think nano-frictionless. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cross-media? It seems discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Think micro-C2C2C. Without appropriate ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become reality-based. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Think magnetic. Think mission-critical, ubiquitous. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We always synthesize B2B relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most transparent, next-generation web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? Think scalable. Think next-generation. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. We will maximize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our power to exploit.