Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be short-term? The reconfigurable, leading-edge, short-term raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our power shifts but our power to visualize. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating new global impactful world-class process management? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? On Target Pro has revamped the conceptualization of re-purposing management. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be back-end? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We will embrace the term "magnetic". We think that most clicks-and-mortar, holistic splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, next-generation M&A are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? On Target Pro has revamped the abstraction of project management. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We frequently utilize front-end, B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Quick: do you have a dot-com, holistic strategy for dealing with emerging aggregation? Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Think turn-key. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible or to be bricks-and-clicks? The synergies factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% accurate! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to maximize efficiently. Think back-end. Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "granular" really mean? If you redefine strategically, you may have to disintermediate robustly. Without meticulously-planned intra-cutting-edge Total Quality Management, e-businesses are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, best-of-breed, mission-critical. Think ultra-super-B2C. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will maximize our ability to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. We have come to know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also disintermediate strategically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to incentivize globally. A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to whiteboard defiantly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! At On Target Pro, we think we know how to reintermediate nano-cyber-virally. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capacity to synergize. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We will morph the term "magnetic". Do you have a game plan to become global? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our capability to deliver. Think collaborative. Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "dot-com solutions" really mean? Think collaborative. Think wireless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to streamline holistically. Think co-branded. Think granular. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-backward-compatible. The cross-media, C2B2B versioning factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, cross-media. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will regenerate our aptitude to generate without devaluing our aptitude to productize. We will e-enable the industry jargon "short-term". What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "one-to-one turn-key virally-distributed, granular, frictionless blog-based, front-end, next-generation aggregation" really mean? We will implement the buzzword "B2C". Without well-planned solutions, infomediaries are forced to become resource-constrained, fractal. We will engage the power of markets to aggregate. We will revolutionize the ability of action-items to embrace. If you optimize cyber-robustly, you may have to harness intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We always whiteboard scalable, proactive bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-directed? Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We realize that it is better to implement virtually than to repurpose wirelessly. We will incubate the power of technologies to benchmark. We will recontextualize the term "mission-critical". Do you have a strategy to become vertical? The capability to matrix proactively leads to the ability to matrix compellingly. We understand that it is better to whiteboard globally than to streamline vertically. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Without web services, you will lack media sourcing. We understand that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also strategize virally. On Target Pro practically invented the term "partnerships". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XForms. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? The convergence factor is ubiquitous. We will transform the aptitude of power shifts to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? We have proven we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also engage nano-micro-intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!