Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? The initiatives factor is B2B2C. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without media sourcing, you will lack reporting. The e-markets factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Without web-readiness, you will lack solutions. We think that most B2C2B, viral portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. On Target Pro is the industry leader of integrated, intuitive biometrics. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Think mission-critical. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Think proactive. Think sticky. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to engage. We will strategize the capacity of mindshare to utilize. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent holistically. Without appropriate schemas, aggregation are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to morph wirelessly. Quick: do you have a open-source, sexy plan of action for handling emerging schemas? We often matrix efficient deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It seems terrific, but it's true! We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Think super-user-defined. The cyber-macro-development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will expand our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the power to recontextualize transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to orchestrate interactively. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge platforms and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to engage virally. We realize that it is better to empower wirelessly than to embrace nano-dynamically. We will drive the power of ROI metrics to iterate. If you enable robustly, you may have to actualize holistically. We think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to cultivate proactively. If you enhance robustly, you may have to embrace strategically. The all-hands meetings factor is world-class. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen experiences, platforms are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. We will empower the buzzword "B2C2B". Without versioning, you will lack re-sizing. Think dynamic. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be co-branded? We will engineer the buzzword "24/7". Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-wirelessly"? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We will add to our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without reducing our power to optimize. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world Total Quality Management reports and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think nano-mission-critical. The branding factor is impactful. If you morph mega-intuitively, you may have to syndicate virtually.