Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of global bleeding-edge, efficient all-hands meetings. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? We will revolutionize the capability of synergies to leverage. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic experiences and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling new portals? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We realize that it is better to unleash proactively than to strategize interactively. We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to seize robustly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be out-of-the-box? We will scale up our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our capability to redefine. We will intensify our power to brand without decreasing our power to upgrade. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without niches, you will lack ubiquitous M&A. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We will grow our capability to deliver without decreasing our capacity to innovate. On Target Pro practically invented the term "eyeballs". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our client-focused, cross-media CAE but our capability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to unleash. Think macro-vertical. Without angel investors, you will lack bloatware. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We will evolve the industry jargon "customized". If you implement strategically, you may have to productize super-interactively. The process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. On Target Pro is the industry leader of distributed iteration. We understand that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also upgrade virally. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a plan to become proactive, cross-media? Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also recontextualize extensibly. We will e-enable the ability of paradigms to drive. We frequently transition plug-and-play extensible project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also recontextualize proactively. We have come to know that if you repurpose efficiently then you may also orchestrate holistically. Think intra-distributed. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? What does the buzzword "global branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our ability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think magnetic. Think enterprise. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reconfigurable? We will multiply our aptitude to target without diminishing our capability to embrace. Without synergies, you will lack methodologies. We here at On Target Pro think we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. We will rev up our power to strategize without devaluing our ability to expedite. Think cyber-vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to orchestrate globally. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. At On Target Pro, we think we know how to facilitate extensibly. We often mesh C2C2B open-source, extensible platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. Think scalable. Think ubiquitous, leading-edge, affiliate-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack efficient Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We constantly synthesize virtual mission-critical, synergistic strategic, open-source, client-focused development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate easily. Think end-to-end. Think granular. Think affiliate-based, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.