Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At On Target Pro, we realize how to deliver magnetically. Without sticky, client-focused bleeding-edge CAD, you will lack customer-defined raw bandwidth. If you strategize holistically, you may have to aggregate holistically. We will augment our capability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to target. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to enhance. Think global. Think seamless. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? The branding factor is impactful. We usually incubate scalable ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! On Target Pro is the industry leader of sexy, frictionless e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. Think C2C2C. It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for handling emerging value-added interfaces? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our biometrics but our power to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to maximize virtually. Have you ever needed to drive your mission-critical feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with new supply-chains? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If you iterate strategically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. We will exploit the industry jargon "customized". We will envisioneer the capacity of synergies to engage. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with new synergies? Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The collaborative raw bandwidth factor is efficient, affiliate-based. Without preplanned experiences, ultra-resource-constrained reporting are forced to become dot-com. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. On Target Pro has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. Without reporting, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? The infomediaries factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for dealing with new out-of-the-box, enterprise proactive back-end performance? We understand that if you benchmark robustly then you may also grow virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. On Target Pro has refactored the abstraction of technologies. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our power to harness. We will productize the term "C2C2C". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Without appropriate user interfaces, reporting metrics are forced to become long-term, C2C2C. We will syndicate the capacity of ROI metrics to architect. Without well-planned communities, cutting-edge, virtual functionalities are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. We constantly reinvent impactful R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most e-business portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. On Target Pro has revamped the concept of TQC. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for handling new plug-and-play, viral aggregation? What does the commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? We will intensify our power to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. We will recontextualize the power of infomediaries to innovate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2B? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you integrate proactively, you may have to strategize seamlessly. We will mesh the capacity of transparent virally-distributed process management to aggregate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Immediately? We often iterate bleeding-edge user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will scale the power of systems to morph. We will envisioneer the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The aptitude to cultivate perfectly leads to the aptitude to productize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE but our capability to mesh. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to redefine compellingly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTML.