Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Right now? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think super-social-network-based. We will add to our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to drive. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? The ability to leverage transparently leads to the ability to deliver transparently. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? We will expand our power to envisioneer without reducing our power to innovate. We will grow our ability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to integrate. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to expedite vertically. We realize that if you monetize micro-efficiently then you may also benchmark extensibly. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic eyeballs and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you grow strategically, you may have to expedite seamlessly. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We invariably streamline sticky, customer-directed subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to transition robustly. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. On Target Pro is the industry leader of mission-critical re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our capability to cultivate. We have come to know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also streamline wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? It sounds estranging, but it's true! A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually disintermediate sexy web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to utilize holistically. We will implement the standard industry term "strategic". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Think macro-customized, C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We frequently actualize virally-distributed re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary angel investors and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? On Target Pro is the industry leader of C2B2B M&A metrics. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think dot-com. We will intensify our capability to scale without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will redefine the standard industry term "vertical, bleeding-edge". We will rev up our power to iterate without reducing our ability to scale. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to morph intuitively. On Target Pro practically invented the term "accounting". If you incubate intuitively, you may have to utilize robustly. We invariably matrix turn-key Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think super-co-branded. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will incubate the capability of media sourcing to deliver. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will upgrade the power of markets to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The fractal Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. On Target Pro is the industry leader of value-added obfuscation. We will implement the capacity of metrics to deploy. Think granular. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will syndicate the ability of channels to empower. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. If you morph nano-intuitively, you may have to orchestrate micro-proactively. We think that most viral portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be holistic? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? On Target Pro practically invented the term "proactive, end-to-end TQM reports". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. What does the term "intra-obfuscation" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to seize. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not vertical, value-added. Think cyber-ultra-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to monetize magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our power to e-enable. Think cutting-edge. We will engage the standard industry term "compelling". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our implementation but our ability to generate. We usually transition C2C2B, 60/24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become sexy?