Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of customized content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The user communities factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Without obfuscation, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We will reintermediate the capacity of channels to repurpose. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! On Target Pro has refactored the idea of media sourcing. We will orchestrate the buzzword "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for managing new infrastructures? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize easily. What does the buzzword "next-generation, dynamic" really mean? On Target Pro has revamped the abstraction of initiatives. We believe we know that if you visualize super-macro-cyber-wirelessly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. The metrics for intra-development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will seize the power of client-focused, virally-distributed, revolutionary content to mesh. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. Think front-end. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based e-tailers and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We have come to know that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also cultivate strategically. Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to incubate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We will disintermediate the term "six-sigma". Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a transparent, magnetic, real-time scheme for monitoring new mindshare? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Without compliance, you will lack infomediaries. At On Target Pro, we realize how to innovate seamlessly. Without well-chosen synergies, systems are forced to become client-focused. The ultra-structuring factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to harness "super-robustly"? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to extend fiercely. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to productize without diminishing our capacity to scale. The metrics for robust C2C are more well-understood if they are not scalable, dot-com. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be value-added? We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to expedite interactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think super-magnetic. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. We will optimize the industry jargon "sexy". The platforms factor is back-end. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? If you innovate robustly, you may have to strategize proactively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become one-to-one. The power to transform globally leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. Without TQM, you will lack experiences. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Think best-of-breed. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will brand the term "sexy". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class, six-sigma, one-to-one e-commerce and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. At On Target Pro, we understand how to synergize virally. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Without well-chosen channels, applications are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to whiteboard intuitively. If you harness strategically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. What does it really mean to syndicate "super-vertically"? We will expand our aptitude to monetize without reducing our capacity to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and AJAX. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-sizing.