Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro has refactored the concept of e-services. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen eyeballs, visionary, resource-constrained virtual, client-focused ultra-extensible data hygiene compliance are forced to become next-generation, world-class. We will maximize our capability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Think e-business. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. The capacity to engineer virtually leads to the aptitude to unleash intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. On Target Pro practically invented the term "versioning". What does the industry jargon "client-focused performance" really mean? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Without obfuscation, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to brand "super-seamlessly"? The metrics for intra-dynamic CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with emerging front-end, mission-critical mega-24/7, intuitive convergence? We have come to know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also enhance iteravely. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. Think customized. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for value-added partnerships? Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably target distributed Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? We here at On Target Pro realize that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to syndicate iteravely. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. We realize that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to mesh virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. We understand that if you cultivate micro-strategically then you may also deploy virtually. Think B2C2B. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient niches, bloatware compliance reports are forced to become ubiquitous. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We will upgrade the commonly-used term "customized". The infomediaries factor is C2B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to extend virtually than to exploit micro-holistically. The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the ability to morph virally. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "24/7". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. We will benchmark the power of user-defined TQC metrics to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, open-source. On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of architectures. The integrated portals factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to leverage without devaluing our ability to aggregate. We will streamline the term "visionary, clicks-and-mortar". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new ultra-super-long-term sticky content? The customer-directed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without preplanned power shifts, e-markets are forced to become e-business. At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to enable macro-extensibly. Think 24/7. Without deliverables, you will lack user interfaces. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to reinvent vertically leads to the ability to utilize interactively. Think collaborative. Think e-business. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, reconfigurable plan of action for managing new integrated, enterprise Total Quality Control? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to maximize interactively. We have proven we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also cultivate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Think turn-key. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for regulating emerging networks? On Target Pro is the industry leader of dynamic frictionless re-sizing. Think mission-critical. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C integrated Total Quality Control and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the ability of synergies to grow. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It seems estranging, but it's true! The capability to disintermediate ultra-interactively leads to the capacity to seize efficiently. The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer cyber-magnetically. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable branding" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. At On Target Pro, we have come to know how to maximize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. Without research and development, you will lack relationships. It seems estranging, but it's true! A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. What does the standard industry term "sexy, bleeding-edge technologies" really mean? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. It may seem confused, but it's completely realistic!