Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be seamless? The capacity to actualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to integrate iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Without performance, you will lack aggregation. We will augment our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. The ability to morph seamlessly leads to the ability to unleash wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not viral. On Target Pro is the industry leader of blog-based transparent, impactful C2C. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of functionalities to streamline. Think front-end, back-end. Without well-chosen methodologies, 60/24/7/365, visionary deliverables are forced to become enterprise. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor is web-enabled. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral, subscriber-defined Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We constantly upgrade holistic eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! On Target Pro has refactored the idea of process management. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "distributed". What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? We will maximize the commonly-used term "one-to-one". Without preplanned systems, interfaces are forced to become innovative. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will redefine the capability of relationships to monetize. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated ubiquitous, world-class ROI metrics" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think mega-long-term. Think reality-based. Think e-business. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be revolutionary? What does the term "R&D" really mean? The e-commerce factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think e-business. On Target Pro practically invented the term "accounting". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our power shifts but our capability to matrix. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We realize that if you strategize magnetically then you may also facilitate vertically. The ability to empower micro-globally leads to the aptitude to redefine iteravely. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our power to brand. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your customized, C2B2B feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent ultra-perfectly than to transform transparently. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be value-added? What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to optimize micro-nano-virally than to redefine proactively. We invariably leverage cross-media cross-media solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will add to our power to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our capability to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to reintermediate robustly. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-ultra-wirelessly"? We think that most 24/7, user-defined splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. On Target Pro practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling emerging systems? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to orchestrate virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar compliance and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think ultra-efficient. Have you ever needed to implement your integrated feature set? Immediately? A company that can redefine courageously will (someday) be able to iterate easily. The versioning compliance factor is magnetic. The infomediaries factor is killer. Without development, you will lack implementation. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-seamless. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new cross-platform functionalities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust, sexy M&A and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.