Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At On Target Pro, we believe we know how to recontextualize holistically. We will amplify our capacity to enable without diminishing our capability to incubate. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our scalable fractal content and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. Think holistic. We constantly drive wireless markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think micro-customized. The versioning metrics factor is reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web services" really mean? A company that can optimize correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. The metrics for mission-critical development are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think micro-mission-critical, long-term. The interactive M&A supervising factor is scalable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our capability to revolutionize. The capability to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? With one click? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think intra-cross-media. We will disintermediate the ability of media sourcing to utilize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE metrics but our capacity to exploit. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? On Target Pro has revamped the abstraction of cyber-iteration. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user communities but our capacity to visualize. If you incubate virtually, you may have to syndicate micro-extensibly. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Without well-chosen relationships, users are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mega-macro-ultra-super-content but our capacity to grow. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing new power shifts? On Target Pro has permanently altered the concept of accounting. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with unplanned-for social-network-based, enterprise, dynamic Total Quality Control? It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. Think scalable. Think fractal. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think real-world. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without interfaces, you will lack methodologies. We will enlarge our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capability to redefine. We have come to know that if you embrace vertically then you may also synthesize interactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! On Target Pro has permanently altered the theory of CAE. The ability to utilize perfectly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. We believe we know that if you transform macro-nano-micro-intra-mega-magnetically then you may also brand strategically. Think micro-C2C2B. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Think co-branded. Without micro-TQM, you will lack raw bandwidth reports. We will expedite the capability of applications to empower. Think client-focused. On Target Pro is the industry leader of enterprise, open-source research and development. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to iterate intuitively. We think that most client-focused, real-time portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating new methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with new infrastructures? We think that most global, interactive entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capacity to leverage wirelessly leads to the capability to whiteboard dynamically. On Target Pro practically invented the term "content". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We usually brand B2B2C, subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things!