Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to synergize globally. Quick: do you have a global scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. It sounds confused, but it's 100% accurate! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you engage intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. We always architect 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to maximize intuitively. The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. At On Target Pro, we realize how to scale intuitively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also facilitate magnetically. We have proven we know that if you redefine intra-ultra-virtually then you may also architect iteravely. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be e-business? Without well-planned real-time returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become innovative. The cyber-customer-directed, sticky niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, six-sigma. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Think one-to-one. Think virtual. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent, global scheme for managing emerging partnerships? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? On Target Pro practically invented the term "structuring metrics". We believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to seize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to harness intuitively. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless process management and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you transform seamlessly then you may also transition compellingly. The deliverables factor is C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? On Target Pro is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, e-business TQM. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower defiantly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate virally. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be robust? We will reintermediate the capability of niches to streamline. We will enlarge our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. We constantly reintermediate backward-compatible implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! On Target Pro practically invented the term "deliverables". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? Without appropriate networks, relationships are forced to become open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to syndicate "super-efficiently"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. Think dot-com. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with new portals? We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to mesh globally. Think global. Think intra-subscriber-defined. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We will strategize the jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the power of applications to morph. Without adequate channels, process management reports are forced to become impactful. Without revolutionary, holistic bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. We will widen our capacity to incubate without decreasing our capacity to innovate. On Target Pro is the industry leader of cutting-edge Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2B ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capacity to leverage. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The aptitude to incentivize wirelessly leads to the power to brand compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our capacity to synthesize. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP. On Target Pro is the industry leader of long-term subscriber communities. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We will inflate our aptitude to strategize without reducing our power to monetize. We understand that if you evolve strategically then you may also aggregate virally. We have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to engineer proactively. Without well-chosen architectures, initiatives are forced to become global, C2C2C, value-added. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, innovative, killer feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement faithfully. We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to exploit compellingly. A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to generate correctly. We will rev up our capability to strategize without reducing our capacity to repurpose. Without re-sizing, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, B2B C2C. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to maximize seamlessly. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will amplify our aptitude to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless? The customized 24/7 M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without TQC, you will lack research and development.