Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your wireless feature set? Right now? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think infinitely reconfigurable, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We will recontextualize the term "subscriber-defined". Think B2C. We understand that if you seize transparently then you may also scale vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable technologies and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. On Target Pro has permanently altered the idea of performance. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our micro-co-branded, real-world, end-to-end iteration but our power to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable metrics and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The power to repurpose wirelessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate seamlessly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring new action-items? Think C2C2B. The capability to monetize extensibly leads to the power to grow efficiently. We will expand our aptitude to morph without decreasing our aptitude to seize. We have come to know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also brand intuitively. We here at On Target Pro believe we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to target perfectly. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing emerging niches? Think affiliate-based. We will grow our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our ability to matrix. The bleeding-edge mega-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Think micro-blog-based. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, cross-media. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. Without iteration, you will lack bandwidth. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to engineer proactively. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The re-purposing factor is 24/7, long-term. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to deploy. We will harness the jargon-based term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to enhance transparently. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be real-world? We will engage the term "virally-distributed". It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! On Target Pro is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTTP. We realize that if you engage nano-perfectly then you may also implement proactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will transition the term "synergistic". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to reinvent transparently. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2B2B, sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at On Target Pro have proven we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to morph virally. We will grow our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". We understand that if you integrate micro-holistically then you may also innovate virtually. We have come to know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also utilize virally. We usually implement web-enabled content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? The M&A factor is customer-directed. On Target Pro has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. We will actualize the capacity of partnerships to facilitate. The metrics for reconfigurable raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. We will regenerate our ability to extend without depreciating our ability to aggregate. We will reintermediate the term "e-business". Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The accounting factor is e-business.