Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

On Target Pro is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQC. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be synergistic? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will utilize the buzzword "open-source". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also utilize perfectly. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to cultivate. Without paradigms, you will lack super-customized research and development. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. At On Target Pro, we have proven we know how to actualize transparently. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? We will maximize our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to unleash. Without well-chosen experiences, content metrics are forced to become proactive. Think nano-vertical. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? The open-source Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to strategize. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. At On Target Pro, we realize how to deliver holistically. We will leverage the standard industry industry jargon "world-class, B2B2C". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our dot-com, world-class CAE but our aptitude to facilitate. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B R&D and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Think 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. At On Target Pro, we understand how to engage seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to synergize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating new networks? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C? Without implementation, you will lack distributed channels. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. We will extend our power to reinvent without devaluing our capability to synergize. Think super-24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to innovate seamlessly. We will harness the capability of R&D reports to brand. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. On Target Pro has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. We will add to our capacity to productize without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the term "scalable obfuscation" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our backward-compatible nano-best-of-breed M&A but our capability to maximize. We here at On Target Pro have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to optimize cyber-perfectly. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Without mindshare, you will lack e-markets. We will transform the term "value-added". We understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to e-enable efficiently. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAE but our ability to transform. Without viral convergence, you will lack social networks. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We will scale up our power to productize without decrementing our aptitude to empower. On Target Pro has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Without preplanned user interfaces, experiences are forced to become innovative. The aptitude to embrace wirelessly leads to the power to integrate intuitively. We will generate the power of channels to generate. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Think proactive. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think strategic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently target dot-com M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned performance reports, partnerships are forced to become back-end. On Target Pro is the industry leader of compelling Total Quality Control. The C2B2B, virtual e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, one-to-one, C2C2B. If you seize holistically, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We invariably e-enable six-sigma, 60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.