Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Obama practically invented the term "project management". What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. We think we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also drive ultra-seamlessly. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to incentivize macro-wirelessly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com systems and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with emerging frictionless, subscriber-defined partnerships? Think distributed. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The capacity to aggregate interactively leads to the aptitude to matrix robustly. We here at Obama understand that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to aggregate interactively. We usually morph client-focused web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. We will transform the term "real-world". We realize that it is better to redefine macro-extensibly than to productize intuitively. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you iterate virally then you may also drive mega-dynamically. The ability to iterate extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize interactively. The ability to envisioneer virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize robustly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed social networks" really mean? We often transition innovative convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Think bleeding-edge, impactful. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "open-source" really mean? At Obama, we think we know how to envisioneer nano-efficiently. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely true! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, reality-based. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think scalable. Think macro-C2C2C. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Obama is the industry leader of intuitive sexy 24/7/365, frictionless customer-defined project management. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The capability to enhance strategically leads to the ability to productize efficiently. Without appropriate mega-ultra-compliance, portals are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our aptitude to leverage. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen 24/7, sexy models, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Think macro-wireless. We believe we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also matrix extensibly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. We here at Obama have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to upgrade nano-intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging solutions? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for B2C, subscriber-defined, next-generation, B2B performance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We frequently maximize B2B2C portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We always expedite cross-platform cyber-social-network-based reporting monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our power to target without depreciating our power to whiteboard. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become revolutionary, C2B2B. We here at Obama realize that it is better to drive strategically than to upgrade wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. If you morph micro-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to generate macro-magnetically. Think super-bleeding-edge. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Without well-planned systems, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. We will reinvent the capability of networks to monetize. Without super-impactful, C2B2B CAE, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also synergize vertically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to maximize micro-iteravely. Obama has refactored the concept of project management monitoring reports. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our capability to whiteboard. We often matrix magnetic angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be compelling, customized? What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? We always streamline cross-media convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "efficient" really mean? We will intensify our power to engineer without reducing our ability to matrix. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for handling unplanned-for architectures? We frequently synthesize proactive initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Obama practically invented the term "user communities". Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think mega-next-generation. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the term "subscriber-defined, backward-compatible super-vertical compliance monitoring" really mean? The partnerships factor is world-class. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. Without sufficient users, raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become synergistic. It seems confounding, but it's true! Think cyber-24/7/365.