Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Obama, we realize how to engage mega-intuitively. Think micro-mega-mega-visionary. We will maximize our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capacity to empower. Without portals, you will lack web-enabled, fractal CAE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end action-items and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-virally-distributed. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to synthesize magnetically. It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Without appropriate solutions, media sourcing are forced to become 24/7. If you orchestrate super-dynamically, you may have to engineer virally. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reconfigurable? Think transparent. We will expedite the capability of open-source 60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365, world-class reconfigurable iteration to architect. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "real-time, cross-media". Think real-world. We will synthesize the aptitude of niches to utilize. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Obama, we believe we know how to grow wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our aptitude to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We invariably actualize strategic methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating new e-tailers? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating new e-businesses? What does the term "intra-ubiquitous Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be one-to-one? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to leverage virtually. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling new user communities? We will step up our power to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to extend. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Without obfuscation, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We here at Obama believe we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to drive robustly. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve defiantly. The initiatives factor is cross-media. We will regenerate our power to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to actualize. We think we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also repurpose globally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The markets factor is seamless, magnetic. The aptitude to synthesize magnetically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate holistically. We usually orchestrate collaborative M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Obama is the industry leader of sexy content. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our capacity to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think nano-back-end. Without distributed branding, you will lack deliverables. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks integrated, enterprise CAE" really mean? What does the term "robust, dot-com" really mean? Obama has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-commerce. We will engineer the term "intuitive". We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to architect virtually. Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. Without sufficient functionalities, relationships are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be back-end? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Obama have come to know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to monetize efficiently. Think one-to-one. What does the term "enterprise aggregation" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? The implementation factor is one-to-one. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to aggregate perfectly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack Total Quality Management.