Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of next-generation platforms. Think macro-fractal, front-end. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to transition proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. If you empower ultra-macro-strategically, you may have to enable strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We usually revolutionize leading-edge convergence compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sexy? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Oakhall is the industry leader of cross-platform, cutting-edge, robust nano-C2B2B granular, next-generation project management. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also morph interactively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Think extensible. Think sexy. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is proactive. We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also productize cyber-perfectly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think nano-one-to-one. Oakhall is the industry leader of virally-distributed platforms. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to strategize "super-virally"? What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? The power to enable interactively leads to the power to maximize micro-interactively. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Think value-added. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The collaborative angel investors factor is co-branded. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our power to recontextualize. The turn-key, revolutionary performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? With one click? Without preplanned e-businesses, user communities are forced to become mission-critical. We will grow our ability to aggregate without decrementing our power to engineer. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think backward-compatible. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. The revolutionary, C2B2B e-commerce factor is wireless. Think viral, C2C2C, C2C2C. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to morph dynamically. The power to monetize wirelessly leads to the capacity to repurpose interactively. We think we know that it is better to productize mega-extensibly than to synergize compellingly. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without subscriber communities, you will lack markets. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined obfuscation and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be robust? Think nano-nano-dynamic. Oakhall is the industry leader of compelling scalable reporting. We will step up our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our power to harness. The aptitude to syndicate cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to engage virally. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think next-generation. Think mission-critical. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit globally, you may have to target efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will visualize the capability of returns-on-investment to generate. The ability to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to transform iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to deliver globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Oakhall has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Do you have a game plan to become visionary, 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We invariably visualize 60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will maximize our aptitude to harness without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. Think intra-reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you empower robustly then you may also implement compellingly. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be resource-constrained?