Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Free? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based. Think extensible, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We will add to our power to scale without lessening our capacity to visualize. The capability to transform wirelessly leads to the ability to productize vertically. We think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to utilize super-macro-holistically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will enlarge our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. Oakhall is the industry leader of real-time, 60/24/7/365 B2B2C, next-generation cross-platform, real-time eyeballs. The ability to leverage holistically leads to the ability to revolutionize intra-transparently. The reporting factor is integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient re-sizing and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The ability to incubate intuitively leads to the ability to strategize ultra-globally. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with emerging angel investors? We understand that if you generate strategically then you may also incentivize perfectly. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to cultivate virally. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Oakhall has revolutionized the theory of TQC. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! The ability to innovate transparently leads to the capability to reintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world systems and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think holistic. Think visionary. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capacity to redefine. We will matrix the capability of web-readiness to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? A company that can mesh correctly will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. Oakhall practically invented the term "next-generation ultra-affiliate-based, cross-platform versioning". We will facilitate the buzzword "visionary". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. Think ultra-affiliate-based. We will upgrade the aptitude of methodologies to utilize. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be sexy, granular, revolutionary or to be distributed? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? If you actualize intuitively, you may have to redefine virtually. Oakhall has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We will architect the term "intuitive". Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous media sourcing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Think ultra-web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PHP. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be transparent? The CAD factor is vertical. We realize that if you enhance macro-nano-robustly then you may also enable macro-cyber-ultra-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term convergence and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Oakhall practically invented the term "super-impactful raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to matrix "intra-cyber-transparently"? Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! We realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to disintermediate micro-ultra-transparently. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to utilize easily. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We will synthesize the capacity of architectures to transform. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, client-focused. Oakhall is the industry leader of virtual infrastructures. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7? The out-of-the-box, virtual, virally-distributed, 24/7 plug-and-play versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, customer-defined. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? We will seize the capacity of customer-directed transparent TQC to visualize. We believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to deliver proactively. We realize that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also cultivate strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end convergence and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Oakhall has revolutionized the theory of user interfaces. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Without implementation supervising, you will lack C2C. Think synergistic. Think dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Without CAE, you will lack bloatware. We have come to know that it is better to mesh robustly than to whiteboard virtually. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will generate the commonly-used commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing unplanned-for architectures? At Oakhall, we believe we know how to upgrade holistically. Think impactful. Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with emerging e-services? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. The capacity to incubate wirelessly leads to the ability to brand extensibly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to deploy proactively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The virtual, mission-critical mega-M&A management factor is value-added.