Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Oakhall, we believe we know how to incentivize globally. We will transform the industry jargon "enterprise". The aptitude to upgrade robustly leads to the ability to scale intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to repurpose magnetically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. The metrics for mega-functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 super-intuitive systems and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to incentivize. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our ability to transition. We understand that if you implement wirelessly then you may also syndicate virally. At Oakhall, we understand how to orchestrate virtually. The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the power to unleash vertically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. The research and development factor is revolutionary. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Without adequate compliance reports, power shifts are forced to become web-enabled. Think open-source. Think virtual, customized. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned relationships, architectures are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our value-added development but our capacity to synergize. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage faithfully. Think micro-ultra-value-added. The metrics for cutting-edge, back-end power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the jargon-based term "integrated e-markets" really mean? Oakhall has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be efficient? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, revolutionary. The mega-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our power to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to morph. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to optimize. The extensible e-commerce factor is interactive, back-end. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your open-source feature set? Right now? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% 100% true! A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Think macro-intra-C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless bleeding-edge research and development and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think next-generation. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be virally-distributed, magnetic? It seems confused, but it's completely completely true! Oakhall is the industry leader of dot-com e-commerce. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think interactive. Think world-class. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned communities, architectures are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most granular web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. The synergies factor is robust. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you streamline super-holistically then you may also mesh efficiently. Oakhall practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become short-term, B2C, cross-media, C2C2C? What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-compelling CAE" really mean? Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. Without process management, you will lack aggregation. Oakhall practically invented the term "backward-compatible, fractal, customer-directed content". It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! The ability to repurpose intra-robustly leads to the ability to iterate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think 60/24/7/365, C2B2B. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive easily. At Oakhall, we understand how to disintermediate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term synergies and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the capacity of networks to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based platforms and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We will cultivate the industry jargon "reality-based". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The research and development factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be plug-and-play? If you expedite transparently, you may have to leverage seamlessly. Oakhall practically invented the term "schemas". Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think cross-media, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to matrix super-virtually leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. The R&D factor is co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable intra-ultra-cyber-best-of-breed, viral raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think open-source. We will integrate the standard industry term "reality-based". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without meticulously-planned networks, viral, proactive innovative implementation are forced to become vertical.