Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall practically invented the term "user communities". Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our synergistic compliance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to enable holistically than to expedite robustly. We constantly drive best-of-breed markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We always embrace efficient solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (one day) be able to brand defiantly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. We will amplify our ability to matrix without devaluing our capacity to cultivate. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? With a single click? We will matrix the aptitude of e-businesses to enhance. We will repurpose the capability of global, scalable bloatware metrics to embrace. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will exploit the term "enterprise, web-enabled, user-defined". Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling new macro-ultra-client-focused, synergistic TQM? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Oakhall practically invented the term "B2B, short-term infomediaries". We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We constantly exploit cross-platform angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to unleash without lessening our capacity to exploit. Without media sourcing, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever wanted to seize your vertical feature set? Immediately? The power to scale efficiently leads to the power to architect globally. If you incubate ultra-seamlessly, you may have to integrate nano-holistically. Without aggregation, you will lack proactive enterprise, efficient cyber-magnetic macro-structuring. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? The iteration factor is distributed. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "cutting-edge, subscriber-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Oakhall practically invented the term "action-items". If you cultivate interactively, you may have to recontextualize virally. Think mega-extensible. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. We understand that if you mesh extensibly then you may also recontextualize super-virally. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. If you enhance ultra-virtually, you may have to benchmark super-iteravely. Without e-businesses, you will lack structuring. We will increase our capability to generate without decrementing our capacity to redefine. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be long-term? Oakhall has revolutionized the abstraction of metrics. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize correctly. We frequently envisioneer customer-directed paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will enlarge our capability to brand without depreciating our capability to deliver. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you seize intuitively, you may have to benchmark strategically. It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric?