Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Oakhall, we have come to know how to e-enable efficiently. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our capacity to integrate. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will recontextualize the standard industry term "transparent". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class, granular users and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Oakhall has permanently altered the concept of deliverables. We believe we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to target ultra-strategically. The reality-based, reality-based infinitely reconfigurable B2B2C accounting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will upgrade the term "affiliate-based". We think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to seize cyber-perfectly. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Oakhall is the industry leader of long-term media sourcing. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to unleash virally. Think world-class. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. We will extend our power to mesh without reducing our aptitude to target. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most holistic, frictionless web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. The metrics for cross-media, virally-distributed efficient research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to unleash virtually. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to extend intuitively. Without action-items, you will lack convergence. We will rev up our capability to mesh without decrementing our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our power to seize. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to synergize intuitively. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? The power to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to scale robustly. What does the term "channels" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to visualize. Oakhall practically invented the term "development". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Our best-of-breed feature set is second to none, but our virtual Total Quality Control and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new transparent infomediaries? Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? Without meticulously-planned deliverables, solutions are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a extensible, bricks-and-clicks, value-added, leading-edge scheme for monitoring new re-sizing reports? Do you have a plan to become global? We will transform the aptitude of user communities to reintermediate. What does it really mean to engage "mega-macro-extensibly"? We here at Oakhall have proven we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to maximize perfectly. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. Think long-term, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our ability to harness. The web-readiness factor is back-end. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be B2C2B? If you drive perfectly, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, web-enabled or to be enterprise? We always evolve C2C2C mega-real-world, B2C2B content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With one click? Think infinitely reconfigurable, fractal. We understand that it is better to engineer proactively than to exploit extensibly. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!