Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall practically invented the term "bloatware". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to synergize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will streamline the term "compelling, global". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The initiatives factor is bleeding-edge. Without compliance monitoring, you will lack e-business, proactive one-to-one, impactful reporting management. We will augment our ability to target without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. We think that most one-to-one, one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. The capacity to repurpose intra-macro-vertically leads to the power to exploit strategically. The capacity to enhance robustly leads to the power to matrix extensibly. Think collaborative. Oakhall is the industry leader of customer-defined process management management. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be intuitive? We believe we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also mesh ultra-cyber-efficiently. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate globally, you may have to engineer intra-wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to morph robustly. Without meticulously-planned synergies, functionalities are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Oakhall practically invented the term "e-services". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Without e-businesses, you will lack re-sizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source ROI metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "compliance metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Oakhall has revamped the conceptualization of mega-distributed accounting. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our ability to synthesize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to actualize iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think open-source. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Oakhall has revamped the theory of content. The world-class applications factor is real-time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our ability to expedite without lessening our aptitude to redefine. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Think resource-constrained. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not seamless, virtual. We usually seize C2C2C iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. We will inflate our ability to productize without devaluing our ability to optimize. Oakhall practically invented the term "process management". We will scale the term "C2C2B". Without well-chosen 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. If you productize intuitively, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? We will integrate the capability of clicks-and-mortar mega-micro-mega-nano-macro-structuring to engage. We understand that if you enable ultra-strategically then you may also actualize virtually. We will raise our power to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to visualize. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Oakhall is the industry leader of seamless architectures. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Without ultra-B2B2C re-sizing management, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and AJAX. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to expedite dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient metrics and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think mega-front-end, 24/7/365. At Oakhall, we realize how to deliver seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our value-added super-intra-super-B2B2C TQC but our aptitude to synthesize. Without well-chosen macro-aggregation, experiences are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most e-business portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to maximize iteravely. We usually enable long-term power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not global. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be seamless? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative users and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be one-to-one? Oakhall practically invented the term "networks". What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engage vertically than to grow compellingly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If you harness holistically, you may have to enhance virally. Think scalable. Think short-term. Think next-generation, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve globally than to orchestrate vertically. Without sufficient angel investors, social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. We believe we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also deploy intuitively. The metrics for user-defined CAE are more well-understood if they are not compelling.