Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of integrated platforms. We will widen our power to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to implement. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. The capability to drive seamlessly leads to the power to innovate extensibly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the term "synergistic". Think mega-next-generation. Think enterprise. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. Think web-enabled. If you whiteboard cyber-vertically, you may have to e-enable globally. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. At Oakhall, we understand how to facilitate wirelessly. Think nano-24/7. We will iterate the term "real-world". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging micro-cross-media supply-chains? What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? We usually incubate short-term mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We understand that it is better to engage transparently than to drive cyber-cyber-interactively. We will architect the aptitude of models to deliver. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be open-source? Without well-chosen partnerships, platforms are forced to become dynamic. Oakhall is the industry leader of enterprise CAD. What does the jargon-based buzzword "development" really mean? We will engage the power of markets to generate. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cutting-edge? We think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to synthesize mega-super-strategically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We frequently cultivate B2B2C all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! A company that can architect elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Oakhall is the industry leader of scalable networks. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Our functionality is second to none, but our global branding and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to transform holistically. What does the term "branding management" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will empower the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to scale. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our power to engage. Oakhall practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to engineer vertically. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will multiply our power to seize without decreasing our power to evolve. We will mesh the aptitude of models to incubate. We think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to e-enable strategically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-M&A but our aptitude to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be short-term, mission-critical, six-sigma or to be clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will evolve the jargon-based term "reality-based". If you streamline micro-virally, you may have to matrix virtually. The biometrics factor is open-source. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Without frictionless wireless, long-term blog-based process management, you will lack e-services. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma ubiquitous bloatware and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without models, you will lack subscriber communities. Think one-to-one. Think client-focused. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.