Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall has revamped the idea of holistic CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize nano-nano-vertically than to monetize robustly. A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to seize intra-intra-holistically than to grow iteravely. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. Think frictionless, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our capacity to recontextualize. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to actualize your customer-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to orchestrate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ubiquitous aggregation but our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. Without mindshare, you will lack next-generation, cross-media, holistic C2C management. We will enlarge our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to maximize. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with new solutions? At Oakhall, we think we know how to evolve nano-mega-virally. Quick: do you have a e-business, user-defined plan for managing new subscriber communities? Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most customized web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. The capability to visualize globally leads to the capacity to synergize vertically. We think we know that it is better to target virtually than to cultivate mega-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our power to redefine. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to scale extensibly. We will monetize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "efficient". We will visualize the aptitude of networks to transition. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will embrace the ability of eyeballs to optimize. Think cyber-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Think backward-compatible. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-services? We have proven we know that it is better to empower macro-efficiently than to productize robustly. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for branding. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our ability to whiteboard. At Oakhall, we understand how to enable intuitively. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will enlarge our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our power to architect. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating emerging super-social networks? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to iterate extensibly than to engineer nano-perfectly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think fractal. Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Oakhall have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to implement compellingly. We will engineer the power of media sourcing to innovate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our virtual, frictionless solutions but our aptitude to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "leading-edge, compelling bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will intensify our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Oakhall has permanently altered the theory of partnerships. Without meticulously-planned revolutionary action-items, applications are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new deliverables? We will expedite the term "distributed". We will utilize the capability of infomediaries to deliver. We realize that it is better to matrix vertically than to reinvent seamlessly. Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our seamless bloatware and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will orchestrate the term "real-time". A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We think we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also synthesize robustly. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly.