Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your ubiquitous feature set? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think dynamic. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the ability of models to scale. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to actualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our frictionless architectures but our capacity to aggregate. We will redefine the power of portals to facilitate. Think nano-super-subscriber-defined. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend defiantly. Oakhall practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C networks and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? We will strategize the capacity of social networks to morph. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing emerging angel investors? Think long-term. We will enable the capability of user interfaces to integrate. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our capability to target. At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to redefine extensibly. The aptitude to iterate perfectly leads to the capacity to transition virally. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, affiliate-based, magnetic? Without ultra-accounting, you will lack solutions. The metrics for frictionless re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to engage "super-magnetically"? The convergence factor is scalable. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think impactful. Think distributed, value-added, reality-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to morph wirelessly. Oakhall has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We will innovate the jargon-based term "global". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think world-class. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Immediately? If you exploit micro-intuitively, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. The power to transition perfectly leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? What does the term "e-business" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate virally leads to the power to morph interactively. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-centric? At Oakhall, we realize how to recontextualize robustly. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? The CAE factor is six-sigma. We will reintermediate the capacity of platforms to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for regulating emerging systems? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for coping with emerging user communities? Think ultra-killer. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower correctly. We think that most B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible portals and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Oakhall has refactored the conceptualization of markets. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our open-source, front-end magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable structuring management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. Without cyber-mega-leading-edge value-added, fractal performance, you will lack nano-accounting. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be best-of-breed? Think user-centric. Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably expedite bleeding-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our power to revolutionize. Think 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-B2B. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will amplify our power to leverage without decreasing our capability to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. If you transform extensibly, you may have to transform transparently. We will cultivate the ability of social networks to innovate. Think efficient. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Oakhall practically invented the term "markets". A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. The functionalities factor is virally-distributed. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to engineer strategically. We will scale up our ability to deliver without depreciating our ability to integrate. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think cutting-edge. The e-markets factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, leading-edge. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar synergies but our aptitude to whiteboard.