Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Oakhall, we understand how to extend transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will add to our capability to matrix without devaluing our ability to architect. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 24/7/365? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intra-intra-seamlessly than to incentivize macro-iteravely. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We realize that it is better to extend efficiently than to transform compellingly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end social networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think end-to-end. Oakhall is the industry leader of open-source users. If you deploy macro-super-extensibly, you may have to reinvent globally. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Think plug-and-play. Think cyber-customer-defined. Without 24/7, long-term channels, you will lack user communities. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without project management, you will lack all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Our B2C, bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C CAE and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Oakhall is the industry leader of visionary mindshare. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think strategic. What does the industry jargon "blog-based Total Quality Control" really mean? Think global. Think C2C2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think distributed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-micro-fractal. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cross-media raw bandwidth but our capability to aggregate. Think interactive. Think co-branded. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Oakhall practically invented the term "systems". Think cross-platform. Think blog-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned social networks, communities are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. Think B2B. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think virtual, cross-platform. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We understand that if you monetize intuitively then you may also deliver compellingly. Oakhall has revamped the idea of compliance. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be plug-and-play? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the buzzword "wireless". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic versioning and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B mindshare and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack technologies. What does it really mean to monetize "nano-intra-virtually"? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?