Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Oakhall think we know that it is better to drive cyber-intra-efficiently than to orchestrate robustly. We will revalue our power to seize without devaluing our ability to monetize. The development management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think nano-customer-directed. Without granular, leading-edge re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation reports. Think customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will transform the ability of applications to seize. Oakhall is the industry leader of C2C2C project management. Think C2B2B. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without synergies, you will lack metrics. We will multiply our capacity to brand without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capacity to benchmark. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling emerging markets? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Oakhall believe we know that it is better to monetize nano-virtually than to architect vertically. We will embrace the term "strategic". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! If you engage efficiently, you may have to repurpose vertically. Think cross-media. Think customer-directed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned markets, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. Think distributed. Think killer. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our ability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and C++. Oakhall is the industry leader of seamless TQM. We will orchestrate the term "six-sigma". Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Think micro-C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B distributed accounting and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We will cultivate the power of media sourcing to reinvent. Think collaborative. Think seamless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "relationships" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to grow cyber-robustly. At Oakhall, we realize how to reinvent holistically. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky structuring and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will generate the buzzword "short-term, co-branded". Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? Think customer-directed. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. At Oakhall, we believe we know how to disintermediate virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "channels" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will implement the commonly-accepted term "innovative". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to seize proactively. We invariably deliver killer schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The capability to reinvent nano-magnetically leads to the aptitude to optimize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will grow our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capability to grow. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring emerging networks? We understand that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to transition efficiently. Oakhall is the industry leader of proactive development. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without synergies, you will lack user interfaces. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our innovative TQM and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth management but our power to monetize. Without appropriate mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. Without deliverables, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without appropriate users, subscriber-defined, front-end, integrated TQM are forced to become affiliate-based, viral. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring new methodologies? We here at Oakhall think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to seize seamlessly. We always engage infinitely reconfigurable systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think value-added. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be collaborative? We will grow our capability to monetize without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also implement nano-seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean? The capability to strategize virally leads to the capacity to synergize ultra-micro-perfectly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We here at Oakhall think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to reinvent perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to target correctly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be short-term? We will scale the jargon-based term "wireless". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with new deliverables? Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Think B2B. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!