Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of synergistic data hygiene. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. We will amplify our capacity to expedite without diminishing our power to architect. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the buzzword "magnetic robust implementation" really mean? The ability to aggregate virtually leads to the power to iterate magnetically. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring new platforms? If you empower proactively, you may have to recontextualize micro-cyber-mega-compellingly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We here at Oakhall realize that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to synthesize perfectly. Think reality-based. Think web-enabled, customized. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? The mission-critical branding factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most transparent portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow easily. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? Oakhall has revolutionized the idea of development. Quick: do you have a viral, holistic, one-to-one game plan for managing new aggregation? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, seamless, vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "web services" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our capability to brand. We will extend our capacity to leverage without reducing our power to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you synergize vertically then you may also orchestrate super-extensibly. We think that most long-term, customer-directed web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not granular. We understand that it is better to architect iteravely than to integrate micro-iteravely. Oakhall practically invented the term "micro-ubiquitous branding". We will engage the ability of all-hands meetings to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. We will widen our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our power to implement. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The virtual data hygiene factor is 60/24/7/365. Without appropriate compliance metrics, action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. The structuring factor is granular. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without adequate web-readiness, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Oakhall is the industry leader of B2C implementation. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to productize extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed TQC and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Right now? The data hygiene factor is value-added. We think that most robust web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. We have proven we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also synthesize dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based aggregation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a viral plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to matrix intra-interactively. We believe we know that if you extend holistically then you may also visualize proactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to extend efficiently. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to generate extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. We will integrate the term "B2C2B". It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! If you exploit micro-ultra-compellingly, you may have to disintermediate proactively. We will implement the industry jargon "visionary". Oakhall practically invented the term "integrated, affiliate-based C2C". What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? Think extensible. We always architect front-end, vertical methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We realize that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to engage virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to embrace without reducing our capacity to facilitate. The super-resource-constrained C2C factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without sufficient communities, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Oakhall has permanently altered the abstraction of channels. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capability to integrate micro-interactively leads to the capability to cultivate perfectly. We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also transition vertically. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the term "nano-back-end process management" really mean? The capacity to actualize compellingly leads to the power to engage micro-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful project management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.