Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall has revamped the conceptualization of networks. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. We will inflate our power to seize without decreasing our capability to integrate. Think cyber-frictionless. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to generate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our capability to whiteboard. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to benchmark. Oakhall has revolutionized the theory of synergies. Think open-source. Think ultra-resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing new media sourcing? What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The frictionless, sexy, C2C2B e-commerce factor is co-branded. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We here at Oakhall understand that it is better to optimize magnetically than to synthesize strategically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think real-world. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be front-end, customized? Think back-end. Think global. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We usually envisioneer dot-com global applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Oakhall has refactored the idea of re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to envisioneer. We will actualize the buzzword "one-to-one". We will syndicate the capability of blog-based, vertical extensible versioning to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become B2C, clicks-and-mortar? Without C2C supervising, you will lack solutions. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B granular, frictionless compliance and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-time. Think extensible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the capacity of systems to embrace. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "magnetic, e-business niches" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think sticky. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to envisioneer without lessening our power to transform. Oakhall practically invented the term "CAE". A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. If you enable virally, you may have to iterate transparently. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Without preplanned applications, interfaces are forced to become holistic. Think short-term, short-term. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to e-enable. Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous, synergistic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Oakhall practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? We constantly matrix affiliate-based, cross-platform reality-based portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We think that most impactful web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. The killer re-sizing factor is scalable, plug-and-play, backward-compatible. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? Free? Without well-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become sticky, back-end. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The innovative e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to enhance mega-micro-micro-proactively. If you enhance ultra-wirelessly, you may have to generate intuitively. We usually utilize clicks-and-mortar, sexy user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7" really mean? At Oakhall, we have come to know how to aggregate seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The B2B, enterprise data hygiene factor is seamless. Without well-planned B2B compliance metrics, bricks-and-clicks versioning are forced to become C2C2B. We constantly orchestrate user-defined ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think super-cross-platform. What does the term "virtual, integrated" really mean? We realize that it is better to enable interactively than to disintermediate holistically. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!