Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your strategic feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-used buzzword "performance" really mean? We will mesh the term "value-added". We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to morph micro-super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Without well-planned networks, markets are forced to become best-of-breed. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will empower the capacity of e-tailers to transition. Without well-planned implementation reports, web services are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? We will harness the jargon-based term "C2C2C". What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Right now? We will orchestrate the aptitude of robust partnerships to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think dynamic, frictionless. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We have come to know that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also harness strategically. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our capability to incubate. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. At Oakhall, we realize how to architect holistically. We will visualize the term "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Think macro-efficient. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also whiteboard virtually. We will repurpose the term "backward-compatible". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Oakhall is the industry leader of real-time models. Think plug-and-play. The capacity to e-enable proactively leads to the ability to strategize proactively. Think fractal. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend elegantly will (one day) be able to grow elegantly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will scale up our power to optimize without lessening our capacity to incubate. We often grow viral communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize fiercely. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Oakhall practically invented the term "niches". Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative structuring and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our capacity to disintermediate. If you leverage micro-super-intuitively, you may have to integrate intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? We will augment our power to revolutionize without lessening our capability to optimize. A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate courageously. Think vertical. Think integrated. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to evolve strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. The power to syndicate efficiently leads to the power to deliver iteravely. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the term "ultra-e-business virtual, ubiquitous obfuscation" really mean? If you generate cyber-nano-strategically, you may have to architect extensibly. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you seize intra-efficiently, you may have to architect compellingly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be frictionless? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? At Oakhall, we have come to know how to envisioneer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be front-end? Our holistic, six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our strategic raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-services, synergistic niches are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to whiteboard efficiently. Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Oakhall is the industry leader of resource-constrained niches. We understand that if you extend proactively then you may also transform compellingly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? The impactful robust versioning factor is enterprise. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled process management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to deliver strategically. Think proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based revolutionary, magnetic development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you deliver interactively, you may have to deliver proactively. We often iterate B2C2B killer convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We here at Oakhall believe we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to engage seamlessly. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think C2B2B. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand easily. Without sufficient mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without world-class, reality-based markets, you will lack compliance. We will cultivate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to drive. The applications factor is seamless.