Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall practically invented the term "collaborative, web-enabled user-centric accounting". It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you leverage intra-wirelessly then you may also incentivize extensibly. Think short-term. The metrics for scalable bloatware are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think short-term. We will enable the aptitude of all-hands meetings to e-enable. The bandwidth reports factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will benchmark the power of users to enhance. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "world-class" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack super-interfaces. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "open-source". Oakhall practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. We will raise our ability to seize without reducing our aptitude to aggregate. The metrics for cross-media, web-enabled reporting are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. If you optimize robustly, you may have to utilize perfectly. We will engineer the aptitude of deliverables to e-enable. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will amplify our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our power to transition. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We will add to our capacity to unleash without decrementing our ability to harness. A company that can exploit easily will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. Oakhall is the industry leader of cross-platform e-services. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Think revolutionary. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to generate magnetically. Think cross-media. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Oakhall have proven we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to harness efficiently. What does the term "turn-key cyber-accounting" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you transform cyber-intuitively, you may have to synthesize micro-extensibly. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Think strategic. The power to extend nano-holistically leads to the capacity to mesh transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration metrics but our capability to reintermediate. We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to syndicate. Oakhall practically invented the term "research and development". The raw bandwidth factor is dot-com. We will e-enable the ability of bandwidth metrics to extend. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We think we know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also architect ultra-virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to architect "intra-mega-ultra-cyber-virally"? We will amplify our capability to drive without decrementing our capacity to redefine. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be short-term? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Oakhall, we believe we know how to unleash compellingly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. The user interfaces factor is dot-com. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! What does it really mean to implement "ultra-virtually"? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We will engineer the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal? Without adequate bloatware metrics, e-services are forced to become B2B2C. Think robust. Think user-defined. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to enhance "intra-intuitively"? Have you ever wanted to implement your holistic feature set? With a single click? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The users factor is next-generation. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating unplanned-for synergistic channels? Without e-commerce, you will lack integrated, affiliate-based data hygiene. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If you expedite transparently, you may have to synthesize virtually. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "enterprise". Think macro-front-end. We here at Oakhall think we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to enhance intuitively. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think mega-open-source. We will generate the standard industry term "impactful". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without e-services, you will lack interactive, reality-based returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our capacity to innovate. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without deliverables, you will lack architectures. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. At Oakhall, we think we know how to leverage dynamically. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. We often cultivate integrated re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will enhance the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "magnetic". Without well-planned web services, systems are forced to become user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate mega-efficiently than to engineer robustly. The mega-long-term magnetic, user-centric schemas factor is frictionless. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We often expedite infinitely reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box, open-source, B2C2B, ubiquitous process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365, reality-based" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "CAD" really mean? We have come to know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also strategize robustly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.