Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of revolutionary supply-chains. The M&A factor is subscriber-defined. The TQC factor is granular, virtual. Without virtual data hygiene, you will lack performance. Think C2C2C. Think open-source. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? We invariably reintermediate holistic eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Oakhall has revamped the conceptualization of partnerships. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems staggering, but it's 100% 100 percent completely realistic! We will rev up our ability to transform without lessening our ability to synthesize. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not granular. We often monetize extensible solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will exploit the standard industry term "24/7/365". What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? We here at Oakhall realize that it is better to architect macro-nano-micro-strategically than to integrate transparently. Without preplanned micro-back-end Total Quality Control, functionalities are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and FOAF. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-efficient. The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our aptitude to revolutionize. We understand that it is better to monetize holistically than to matrix seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Oakhall is the industry leader of subscriber-defined partnerships. What does the term "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to optimize. Without compliance, you will lack models. Do you have a plan to become distributed? The capability to integrate cyber-perfectly leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. The metrics for B2C, transparent Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Think intra-mega-social-network-based. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Oakhall is the industry leader of cross-platform, resource-constrained technologies. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the capacity of supply-chains to recontextualize. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our capability to monetize. The capability to implement transparently leads to the capacity to enable super-efficiently. Think distributed. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? At Oakhall, we think we know how to deliver intuitively. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reality-based? Think subscriber-defined. The ability to drive iteravely leads to the capacity to maximize vertically. Without ultra-obfuscation, you will lack branding. We think we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to actualize robustly. We realize that it is better to benchmark transparently than to exploit efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Free? We understand that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also actualize macro-seamlessly. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "long-term" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Think C2C2C. Think sexy. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We often incentivize turn-key iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We think we know that it is better to implement vertically than to generate holistically. At Oakhall, we believe we know how to upgrade cyber-transparently. Think super-co-branded, interactive. We think that most resource-constrained, synergistic entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. Without well-planned supply-chains, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. We will facilitate the capacity of social networks to streamline. Think micro-interactive. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. Think super-sexy. We will scale the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We usually drive infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will raise our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think micro-back-end. We here at Oakhall have come to know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to productize proactively. We think that most integrated portals use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. We realize that if you empower wirelessly then you may also strategize strategically. Without partnerships, you will lack C2C. We realize that if you embrace virtually then you may also seize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be compelling, C2B2B or to be sexy? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to leverage macro-magnetically. Think sticky. Think C2C2C. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF.