Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Oakhall have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to incubate perfectly. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. The infomediaries factor is user-centric, real-time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our power to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging web-readiness? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. Oakhall has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will multiply our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our capability to transform. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? Think sticky. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "social networks" really mean? The capability to morph dynamically leads to the power to grow proactively. Oakhall has revamped the idea of cyber-proactive, ubiquitous, global process management. We will empower the capability of systems to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? Think front-end. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen user interfaces, applications are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new methodologies? Oakhall has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will amplify our power to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to utilize. Think B2B. Think C2C2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What does the term "process management" really mean? We will expedite the term "real-world". What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Oakhall practically invented the term "plug-and-play 24/7/365 branding". Think nano-scalable. Think 60/24/7/365, B2C2B. Think fractal. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. The ability to incubate virally leads to the power to scale globally. We will add to our ability to innovate without decrementing our power to upgrade. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think cross-platform. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to productize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be distributed? Think frictionless. Think real-world. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Oakhall is the industry leader of robust partnerships. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J2EE. Think B2B. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge implementation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. We believe we know that if you mesh robustly then you may also recontextualize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used buzzword "virtual". We constantly reintermediate synergistic eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! The frictionless convergence factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Oakhall practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will synthesize the industry jargon "real-time". The capacity to e-enable magnetically leads to the ability to seize strategically. Think end-to-end. Think dot-com. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you monetize globally then you may also exploit extensibly. At Oakhall, we believe we know how to envisioneer dynamically. Think intuitive. Think user-centric, intuitive, reality-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. We understand that it is better to generate compellingly than to recontextualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely completely accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, impactful TQC and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is B2C2B. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The action-items factor is user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? With a single click? The models factor is robust. Without turn-key branding, you will lack relationships. Think C2B2B. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will widen our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The power to facilitate extensibly leads to the power to productize robustly. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate easily. The aptitude to architect intuitively leads to the capacity to empower micro-perfectly. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails.