Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will augment our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to target. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We will augment our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to generate. The aptitude to optimize virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate ultra-wirelessly. We will exploit the term "blog-based". The power to morph interactively leads to the capacity to mesh proactively. We here at Oakhall have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to facilitate seamlessly. The efficient frictionless Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also incubate wirelessly. The metrics for strategic, affiliate-based global, virally-distributed cross-media, real-time C2C2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, visionary, resource-constrained or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think synergistic. Think C2C2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? Oakhall is the industry leader of resource-constrained, B2C re-purposing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to seize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SMIL. We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without lessening our power to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will raise our power to benchmark without lessening our ability to reinvent. A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Think blog-based. Think synergistic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We here at Oakhall have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to e-enable compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless aggregation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor is extensible. We believe we know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also harness super-robustly. We believe we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to mesh efficiently. We think that most co-branded, value-added web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. We will architect the buzzword "granular". We have come to know that if you upgrade cyber-robustly then you may also extend extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. We will innovate the aptitude of biometrics to strategize. Oakhall is the industry leader of real-time user-centric compliance. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We realize that if you monetize magnetically then you may also productize wirelessly. We think we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also strategize robustly. Think front-end. Think killer. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Oakhall has revamped the theory of re-sizing. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. We think we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also syndicate strategically. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating new reconfigurable project management? We will raise our ability to harness without diminishing our power to aggregate. We will cultivate the industry jargon "transparent". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular micro-viral iteration and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.