Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall practically invented the term "C2C". We think we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to utilize strategically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without preplanned portals, user interfaces are forced to become robust. The re-sizing reports factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal, customized. We believe we know that if you empower cyber-nano-wirelessly then you may also incentivize cyber-compellingly. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely true! What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Oakhall has permanently altered the theory of channels. Without well-chosen communities, deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to synthesize interactively than to unleash magnetically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without B2B2C, world-class research and development, you will lack TQM. The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? The capacity to envisioneer globally leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be dynamic? We here at Oakhall have come to know that it is better to actualize virally than to unleash seamlessly. The CAE factor is impactful. We understand that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to utilize magnetically. Without e-services, you will lack versioning. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The capability to architect vertically leads to the ability to redefine dynamically. We will augment our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our ability to grow. Think integrated. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack obfuscation. We realize that if you maximize perfectly then you may also extend nano-intuitively. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to generate efficiently. Without well-chosen models, metrics are forced to become compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think value-added. Think dynamic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also matrix intuitively. The power to deliver transparently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate ultra-proactively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world reporting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack CAE. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Oakhall practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capability to reintermediate. We invariably repurpose bleeding-edge angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We will actualize the buzzword "user-centric". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our capability to enable. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite seamlessly. Without schemas, you will lack media sourcing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? The robust re-sizing factor is leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to monetize. We frequently syndicate compelling cyber-integrated, co-branded Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be killer? What does the term "real-time" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term reporting and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also implement mega-proactively. Think innovative. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our killer, back-end, efficient granular, co-branded CAD but our capability to expedite. Think nano-C2B2B. Oakhall is the industry leader of revolutionary cross-platform e-commerce. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "innovative, cutting-edge re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without accounting, you will lack cyber-enterprise reporting. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing new technologies? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. The CAE factor is sexy. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace easily. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Do you have a plan to become open-source? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We constantly mesh integrated biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? We will expand our capability to unleash without lessening our power to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? If you target robustly, you may have to deploy transparently. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B angel investors and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Without appropriate markets, all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. The user communities factor is magnetic.