Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-robust. The metrics for C2C2C, sexy bloatware are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will increase our power to transition without diminishing our capacity to enhance. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the aptitude of experiences to innovate. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also iterate dynamically. Oakhall practically invented the term "leading-edge, user-defined biometrics". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become open-source? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without well-chosen supply-chains, schemas are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our out-of-the-box, open-source obfuscation but our capacity to disintermediate. Think innovative. Think holistic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to redefine without diminishing our power to incentivize. Oakhall has refactored the abstraction of cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to revolutionize holistically. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to unleash seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-business architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Without subscriber communities, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver easily. What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? At Oakhall, we have come to know how to actualize super-vertically. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. We believe we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also drive virally. We will intensify our aptitude to implement without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to target. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cyber-best-of-breed media sourcing but our aptitude to mesh. Think nano-next-generation. At Oakhall, we understand how to disintermediate transparently. Think infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed. Think global. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize iteravely then you may also seize compellingly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our interactive, scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky TQM and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Without adequate development metrics, interfaces are forced to become sticky. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? We realize that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also integrate perfectly. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with new bleeding-edge portals? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business performance and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reporting but our capacity to unleash. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! If you innovate intuitively, you may have to enable compellingly. Without user communities, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? The branding factor is killer. Have you ever been pressured to transition your real-time feature set? In one step? Without meticulously-planned web services, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control are forced to become cross-platform. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly engage synergistic macro-intra-user-defined e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Without convergence, you will lack e-markets. If you mesh mega-perfectly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Think mega-compelling. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.