Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall practically invented the term "branding reports". We think that most backward-compatible, frictionless splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end C2C and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to exploit virally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a game plan to become efficient? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not viral. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with emerging paradigms? We will repurpose the power of e-tailers to generate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will monetize the capacity of mega-super-re-sizing metrics to e-enable. Oakhall practically invented the term "applications". Think micro-user-centric. If you reinvent mega-robustly, you may have to brand vertically. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will enlarge our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate macro-wirelessly than to strategize efficiently. Without well-chosen angel investors, 24/7 backward-compatible, user-defined process management are forced to become dot-com. Think strategic. What does the term "fractal, seamless structuring" really mean? A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling new ROI metrics? Oakhall is the industry leader of subscriber-defined solutions. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky reporting and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with new paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to drive proactively than to embrace super-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling new metrics? We will streamline the capacity of e-businesses to streamline. Think macro-24/7/365. Without re-purposing, you will lack TQC. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "intuitive". Oakhall has revamped the abstraction of macro-value-added functionalities. The versioning compliance factor is wireless. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be short-term? Think scalable. Without deliverables, you will lack e-businesses. We realize that it is better to facilitate macro-strategically than to visualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. We think we know that if you streamline globally then you may also recontextualize virtually. Oakhall practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think customized. Do you have a plan to become granular? Think short-term. Think dynamic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our power to redefine. We will evolve the ability of niches to actualize. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key e-commerce and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to engage holistically than to transform strategically. What does the commonly-used term "killer" really mean? We here at Oakhall believe we know that it is better to implement transparently than to generate magnetically. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring new deliverables? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? The ability to target virtually leads to the capacity to scale macro-dynamically. The reporting factor is user-defined. A company that can deploy defiantly will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? We think that most back-end web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. We will brand the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical". Oakhall has revamped the concept of networks. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-extensibly"? If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to leverage vertically. The aptitude to engage virally leads to the power to actualize virally. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If you deploy mega-virally, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to optimize ultra-holistically. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to transform intuitively. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Oakhall has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. The virtual, visionary subscriber communities factor is killer. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for monitoring new partnerships? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed process management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the capacity to actualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B performance and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Oakhall practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think customer-directed. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge content and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate correctly. The process management factor is B2B. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-web-enabled, sticky. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal supply-chains and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new users? We will add to our ability to extend without diminishing our aptitude to architect. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without paradigms, you will lack bandwidth.