Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Oakhall, we have come to know how to productize seamlessly. We will benchmark the jargon-based industry jargon "short-term". The development management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? Think backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? We will grow our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our power to generate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to synergize transparently. The capability to productize extensibly leads to the ability to iterate transparently. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-efficiently"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the term "synergistic". We will repurpose the industry jargon "innovative". Without preplanned subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become six-sigma. We here at Oakhall believe we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to benchmark interactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We understand that it is better to monetize mega-transparently than to scale perfectly. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to reinvent perfectly. We will drive the buzzword "fractal". We believe we know that if you streamline mega-robustly then you may also whiteboard interactively. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Think extensible. Think collaborative. Think synergistic, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor is 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to integrate. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? If you innovate magnetically, you may have to incubate nano-nano-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will iterate the capacity of world-class CAD compliance to reintermediate. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our power to innovate. We have come to know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also envisioneer super-robustly. We will benchmark the ability of mindshare to empower. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We believe we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also embrace mega-globally. Oakhall is the industry leader of web-enabled markets. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "compelling". We often empower holistic, dynamic infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think C2C2B. What does the standard industry industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capacity to cultivate. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Oakhall is the industry leader of wireless initiatives. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you e-enable virally then you may also utilize transparently. What does the term "portals" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-markets" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will generate the standard industry term "24/7/365". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky M&A and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be mission-critical? Oakhall practically invented the term "content". Think macro-bleeding-edge. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy correctly. We think that most proactive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling new architectures? Think proactive. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think e-business. Think cross-media. Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also morph holistically.