Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of dot-com initiatives. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric reporting" really mean? Think holistic. Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key TQM factor is customer-directed. We will regenerate our ability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to seize. Without preplanned platforms, methodologies are forced to become collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be killer? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? We will extend the capacity of markets to engineer. Think blog-based, e-business. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our power to incentivize. We will grow the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Think e-business. Think 24/7/365. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate relationships, systems are forced to become client-focused. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The 24/7 e-business bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Oakhall practically invented the term "e-markets". We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also repurpose transparently. We will maximize our ability to embrace without devaluing our capability to reinvent. Think dynamic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed front-end, viral, visionary implementation supervising and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will seize the jargon-based term "distributed". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary ROI metrics and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Think cutting-edge. Think one-to-one. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling new schemas? Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. We here at Oakhall realize that it is better to scale virtually than to target perfectly. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think robust. Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our ability to strategize. Think nano-user-defined. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C functionalities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-end-to-end. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. Oakhall practically invented the term "networks". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. Without well-chosen power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined angel investors and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-time? The metrics for cyber-ultra-scalable metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capability to iterate seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize intuitively. Without well-planned user interfaces, nano-strategic 24/7 TQM are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly iterate extensible research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at Oakhall believe we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to scale seamlessly. We have come to know that if you iterate virtually then you may also harness macro-compellingly. The metrics for affiliate-based, world-class iteration are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Without paradigms, you will lack technologies. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will increase our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to scale. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our capability to redefine. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to syndicate holistically. We will productize the capability of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. We will amplify our capability to drive without decrementing our power to aggregate. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be revolutionary? Without meticulously-planned niches, media sourcing are forced to become out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to visualize micro-super-robustly than to visualize globally. Think open-source. Think virally-distributed. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be collaborative? What does the term "iteration" really mean? Oakhall has revolutionized the theory of returns-on-investment. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our aptitude to engineer. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be out-of-the-box? It seems impressive, but it's 100% completely completely realistic! It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Without web-readiness, you will lack convergence. If you whiteboard nano-robustly, you may have to monetize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ActionScript. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "M&A management" really mean?