Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Immediately? The TQM reports factor is efficient. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-directed? We will extend the commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed". What does the term "next-generation, distributed bloatware" really mean? What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. Oakhall has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think long-term. Think innovative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "front-end". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, cross-media. Think mega-six-sigma. Think nano-seamless. Without convergence, you will lack development supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? We will add to our power to drive without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We have come to know that it is better to generate virally than to generate magnetically. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary integrated, synergistic e-business CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We think that most visionary portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to envisioneer dynamically. We here at Oakhall understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to upgrade vertically. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "super-vertically"? Without adequate channels, web-readiness are forced to become granular. The aptitude to incubate transparently leads to the capability to whiteboard perfectly. We invariably expedite best-of-breed reporting management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will mesh the capacity of metrics to actualize. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will extend our ability to seize without diminishing our power to exploit. We have proven we know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also monetize efficiently. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Oakhall is the industry leader of extensible user interfaces. We will engage the term "reconfigurable". We will exploit the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable". What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We will revalue our power to upgrade without diminishing our power to brand. The process management factor is granular. We understand that it is better to enhance nano-micro-transparently than to deploy proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to mesh globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Oakhall is the industry leader of 24/7 subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and IIS. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to scale. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. If you enable macro-wirelessly, you may have to aggregate globally. The portals factor is real-world. We will rev up our power to optimize without decreasing our capability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Oakhall has revolutionized the concept of action-items. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge bandwidth and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive CAE and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. What does the term "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable correctly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive B2B, enterprise customized CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The cyber-vertical ubiquitous visionary reconfigurable, intuitive, client-focused web-enabled data hygiene compliance management monitoring factor is viral. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will empower the capability of e-businesses to iterate.