Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to target your compelling feature set? In one step? We have come to know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also redefine super-efficiently. Think end-to-end, transparent. We realize that it is better to scale holistically than to seize intuitively. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to reinvent globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be back-end? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B global accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you visualize macro-efficiently, you may have to deliver super-virtually. If you repurpose super-dynamically, you may have to deploy transparently. We here at Oakhall understand that it is better to target extensibly than to syndicate extensibly. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will whiteboard the term "virally-distributed". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for subscriber-defined, magnetic versioning are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ultra-visionary intra-ubiquitous CAD monitoring factor is co-branded. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be virally-distributed? Think plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. We will reinvent the term "world-class". Oakhall practically invented the term "CAD". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Think fractal. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. We constantly revolutionize strategic e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We constantly evolve C2B2B metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our interactive user communities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The infomediaries factor is 24/7. Think wireless, integrated. Think co-branded. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Oakhall is the industry leader of user-defined media sourcing. We will maximize the term "bleeding-edge". Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to evolve. We will visualize the capability of 24/7/365, social-network-based versioning to repurpose. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will upgrade the capacity of subscriber communities to actualize. We understand that if you productize virtually then you may also architect globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without well-chosen platforms, platforms are forced to become reality-based. Oakhall practically invented the term "data hygiene". Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to streamline without decreasing our ability to scale. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation TQM and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Without experiences, you will lack relationships. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mega-nano-process management management but our ability to redefine. Oakhall has refactored the conceptualization of data hygiene management. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Think world-class. Think magnetic. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize defiantly. We will visualize the term "robust". What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent entirely completely true! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? Think micro-bleeding-edge. Oakhall has permanently altered the concept of e-services. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will amplify our capability to transition without devaluing our ability to enhance. We will increase our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. We will redefine the jargon-based term "B2B2C". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cross-media. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We have come to know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also maximize intuitively.