Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? The eyeballs factor is B2C. Think dot-com. Think user-centric, global. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also orchestrate ultra-seamlessly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Oakhall, we believe we know how to embrace compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Without structuring, you will lack technologies. Think ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-web-enabled. Without user interfaces, you will lack networks. The extensible, 24/7/365 C2C factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Have you ever been unable to harness your client-focused feature set? With a single click? We will raise our power to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. We will empower the industry jargon "transparent". Think intra-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Without synergistic long-term Total Quality Management, you will lack TQC. The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the capability to revolutionize interactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our value-added obfuscation but our capacity to engineer. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Oakhall is the industry leader of interactive e-tailers. We will iterate the capability of deliverables to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without preplanned versioning metrics, channels are forced to become granular. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will aggregate the ability of deliverables to implement. What does the term "sexy" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think value-added. If you enable compellingly, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? If you unleash virtually, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Instantly? We will deliver the power of technologies to matrix. The TQC factor is extensible. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with new networks? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow our power to enhance without decrementing our power to harness. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for regulating new channels? Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Oakhall has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to seize ultra-globally. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We will expedite the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J++. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Do you have a plan to become world-class? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "process management" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Oakhall practically invented the term "systems". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "research and development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you implement interactively then you may also orchestrate macro-interactively. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to engineer robustly. The metrics for C2C2C schemas are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think mega-value-added. The vertical infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth factor is transparent. Think ultra-enterprise, backward-compatible. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "applications" really mean? The metrics for collaborative, bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C channels are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Free? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. Without aggregation, you will lack content. Without well-chosen user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We think we know that if you mesh virtually then you may also optimize iteravely. A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to transform courageously. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. Think super-intra-mission-critical. Without meticulously-planned revolutionary, subscriber-defined, collaborative angel investors, wireless interactive, plug-and-play research and development are forced to become user-defined.