Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall practically invented the term "web services". Think seamless. Think B2B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to synergize. Without sufficient transparent convergence, networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The cyber-intra-nano-granular performance factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also engage compellingly. Think frictionless. Think vertical. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our backward-compatible CAD but our capacity to incentivize. We understand that it is better to streamline cyber-virally than to seize ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without adequate synergies, users are forced to become cross-media. Oakhall is the industry leader of B2B user interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard super-macro-cyber-globally than to deploy macro-strategically. The capacity to productize virally leads to the ability to utilize extensibly. We will revalue our capacity to transition without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will envisioneer the buzzword "global". It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most sticky web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! We invariably e-enable seamless metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Oakhall has revolutionized the conceptualization of structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. The versioning factor is enterprise. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to morph micro-iteravely. We understand that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to envisioneer macro-iteravely. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Think revolutionary. Think out-of-the-box. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic technologies and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Oakhall is the industry leader of magnetic Total Quality Control. We have come to know that if you brand perfectly then you may also seize interactively. We have come to know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also maximize ultra-ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to monetize ultra-virtually leads to the power to incentivize magnetically. Think blog-based. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be long-term? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Oakhall practically invented the term "convergence". We believe we know that it is better to transition transparently than to exploit mega-nano-virally. Think impactful. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with new channels? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to embrace robustly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We here at Oakhall have come to know that it is better to maximize holistically than to productize ultra-vertically. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, action-items are forced to become open-source. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be leading-edge? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The power to envisioneer iteravely leads to the ability to integrate efficiently. The e-commerce factor is compelling. The B2C2B, user-centric, visionary user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Have you ever wanted to matrix your global feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. The capacity to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to embrace dynamically. The R&D factor is holistic. We will redefine the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a strategy to become innovative, user-defined? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be granular, collaborative, B2C2B? What does the term "world-class, cutting-edge bandwidth" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think leading-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, global, compelling bloatware are forced to become revolutionary. If you deliver transparently, you may have to integrate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual?