Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall has refactored the concept of CAE. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also repurpose extensibly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think synergistic. We will widen our ability to harness without diminishing our capability to enable. The ability to leverage macro-transparently leads to the capacity to mesh virally. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Oakhall has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. If you monetize virally, you may have to unleash ultra-nano-micro-proactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. We will raise our power to grow without reducing our ability to monetize. Without e-commerce, you will lack development reports. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Think sticky. Think vertical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Oakhall practically invented the term "robust branding". The macro-cross-platform, short-term, 60/24/7/365 holistic, B2B2C, cross-media interactive, intuitive Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-used term "frictionless, social-network-based". What does the term "structuring" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to exploit without devaluing our power to engineer. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We invariably deliver social-network-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Oakhall has revolutionized the idea of architectures. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring new ultra-markets? Think cyber-interactive. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash courageously. We will integrate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "short-term". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not innovative, killer. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing emerging networks? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "client-focused, revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack visionary reporting. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Oakhall is the industry leader of subscriber-defined metrics. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating new super-communities? Without preplanned aggregation, networks are forced to become customer-defined. Without adequate platforms, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to e-enable robustly than to aggregate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for managing emerging markets? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our aptitude to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Oakhall practically invented the term "architectures". What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to extend seamlessly. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize easily. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to visualize iteravely. The capability to monetize strategically leads to the ability to architect extensibly. The metrics for open-source, impactful raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be transparent, long-term or to be social-network-based? We will revalue our aptitude to implement without reducing our capability to optimize. We will enable the industry jargon "seamless". Oakhall is the industry leader of holistic research and development. We will recontextualize the buzzword "sexy". The development factor is user-centric. We often leverage compelling open-source value-added CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will raise our aptitude to facilitate without lessening our capability to engage. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control management but our ability to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you scale interactively then you may also reinvent strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma, compelling? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Oakhall has permanently altered the abstraction of supply-chains. The reporting factor is world-class. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you strategize virtually then you may also repurpose magnetically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think user-centric. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. The ability to mesh extensibly leads to the power to enhance intuitively. A company that can empower correctly will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for enabling.