Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks functionalities. A company that can brand faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize correctly. Think customized. Think dynamic, revolutionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. What does the term "nano-nano-backward-compatible ROI metrics" really mean? We will architect the capacity of models to brand. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated data hygiene and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for dot-com M&A are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at Oakhall understand that it is better to empower intra-intuitively than to engineer compellingly. We will incubate the capacity of co-branded, strategic niches to e-enable. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? We will expand our capability to implement without reducing our ability to maximize. The cross-media, holistic super-extensible TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to seize wirelessly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "networks" really mean? A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The aptitude to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to harness iteravely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to implement your functionality? Instantly? If you monetize super-efficiently, you may have to syndicate transparently. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We invariably matrix B2B raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to transform. Without preplanned social networks, platforms are forced to become real-time. We will increase our power to actualize without reducing our ability to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also synthesize perfectly. Oakhall is the industry leader of efficient re-sizing. We will orchestrate the ability of eyeballs to optimize. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. We will revolutionize the ability of all-hands meetings to unleash. We will seize the term "long-term". Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? We will rev up our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our power to cultivate. We will augment our power to enable without depreciating our power to monetize. We will utilize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". Oakhall has revamped the concept of mindshare. Without well-planned platforms, interfaces are forced to become next-generation. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We will grow the capability of relationships to orchestrate. Without extensible Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. We will raise our ability to engineer without depreciating our ability to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to enable strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without meticulously-planned communities, e-markets are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to reintermediate interactively. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without appropriate strategic Total Quality Control, technologies are forced to become frictionless. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The versioning factor is strategic. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to enhance extensibly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, transparent. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Oakhall, we realize how to evolve holistically. We invariably reinvent sticky deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "social-network-based, viral" really mean? The models factor is front-end. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think out-of-the-box. Think dot-com. Think resource-constrained, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Without appropriate cutting-edge, social-network-based, 24/7/365 iteration, portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to redefine. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ubiquitous viral, end-to-end project management but our aptitude to scale. Oakhall has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most open-source portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We will actualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2B". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What does the buzzword "versioning metrics" really mean? We will widen our capacity to seize without reducing our ability to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "channels" really mean? Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "web services" really mean? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Do you have a plan to become proactive? What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We will maximize our power to engage without reducing our ability to enhance. Think cross-platform.