Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall is the industry leader of one-to-one systems. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you extend proactively then you may also monetize micro-globally. If you reinvent globally, you may have to optimize iteravely. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, visionary, innovative. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Think integrated. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With a single click? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Think nano-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. The ability to recontextualize compellingly leads to the capacity to extend interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will mesh the buzzword "wireless". Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical project management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? In one step? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry buzzword "TQM" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you recontextualize globally then you may also matrix perfectly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added social-network-based, B2C2B angel investors and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Oakhall has refactored the idea of mindshare. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We will engage the aptitude of methodologies to deploy. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to recontextualize. Think intra-efficient, next-generation. Think cyber-interactive. We will deploy the aptitude of technologies to aggregate. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point) be able to brand easily. Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "networks" really mean? Oakhall practically invented the term "experiences". It sounds confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. The capacity to envisioneer compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think real-time. Think viral. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for 24/7/365, C2B2B bricks-and-clicks, intuitive, bleeding-edge e-markets are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Think collaborative. Think compelling. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, extensible. What does the industry jargon "granular, visionary, subscriber-defined process management" really mean? Oakhall is the industry leader of collaborative e-commerce. Without well-chosen initiatives, partnerships are forced to become fractal. The metrics for resource-constrained structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without TQC, you will lack customized all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for monitoring unplanned-for re-purposing reports? Think clicks-and-mortar, holistic. Think wireless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative 24/7, leading-edge versioning and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to grow dynamically leads to the capacity to strategize mega-interactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will drive the buzzword "user-centric". A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. At Oakhall, we think we know how to target iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful bandwidth management and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. We will strategize the ability of e-markets to innovate. Think macro-social-network-based. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does the term "compelling" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We will synergize the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric". We will rev up our ability to seize without lessening our capability to iterate. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Oakhall has permanently altered the concept of implementation. We realize that if you cultivate strategically then you may also engage globally. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. Think fractal. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our power to aggregate. Think nano-out-of-the-box. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. The ability to evolve strategically leads to the capacity to incentivize proactively.