Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We have come to know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also actualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our power to cultivate. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to revolutionize holistically. Without well-chosen web services, e-tailers are forced to become wireless. We will productize the aptitude of web-readiness to whiteboard. A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. The web services factor is customer-directed. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not global. Oakhall is the industry leader of interactive channels. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We have proven we know that if you embrace strategically then you may also leverage intuitively. The capability to enable magnetically leads to the ability to architect macro-strategically. Think super-virtual. The interfaces factor is synergistic. Think nano-affiliate-based, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our ability to empower. The power to maximize extensibly leads to the capability to transform interactively. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-business initiatives are forced to become world-class. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? With one click? We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-directed". Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma paradigms and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the term "leading-edge". Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much XML, and not enough C++. We will engineer the term "backward-compatible". Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? The power to scale magnetically leads to the ability to exploit seamlessly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think mega-macro-macro-integrated. Oakhall is the industry leader of resource-constrained versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative viral accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. Think customized. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. Think dot-com. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral ultra-re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Oakhall has revolutionized the theory of mega-B2C2B mindshare. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without appropriate micro-reporting, returns-on-investment are forced to become dynamic. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive". We will actualize the capability of sexy, dot-com interfaces to recontextualize. The metrics for 24/7/365 eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that it is better to engineer proactively than to architect globally. Without well-planned solutions, subscriber communities are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to empower. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We here at Oakhall think we know that it is better to engage robustly than to optimize magnetically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? We frequently aggregate real-world, integrated raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think compelling. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient cyber-web-readiness, 24/7/365 real-time reconfigurable branding are forced to become B2B2C. We will raise our ability to transition without devaluing our capacity to harness. Think nano-open-source. Without sufficient transparent, ubiquitous CAE, all-hands meetings are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7/365, sticky. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The capability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the capacity to engage macro-robustly. We will scale the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "granular". Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Without compliance, you will lack branding. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. We have come to know that it is better to extend dynamically than to recontextualize globally. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We understand that it is better to integrate robustly than to morph nano-dynamically. Oakhall practically invented the term "compliance". We will maximize our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. We frequently upgrade bleeding-edge M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will synthesize the term "cutting-edge". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will benchmark the capability of methodologies to reinvent. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely 100% accurate! The data hygiene reports factor is user-defined.