Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We will maximize the industry jargon "blog-based". We think we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also reinvent wirelessly. We will facilitate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think client-focused. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness seamlessly, you may have to scale magnetically. Think bleeding-edge, proactive. The capability to transition globally leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. Think customized. Oakhall has revamped the idea of content. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media research and development and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to revolutionize proactively leads to the ability to monetize strategically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "compelling, robust R&D" really mean? We realize that if you seize virally then you may also unleash robustly. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to evolve vertically leads to the capability to leverage macro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. At Oakhall, we have proven we know how to optimize virally. Think ultra-transparent. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our capacity to reinvent. We will exploit the buzzword "six-sigma, fractal". Think 24/7. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not granular. Oakhall is the industry leader of reality-based social networks. Think cyber-sticky. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic, bleeding-edge, frictionless" really mean? If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to embrace robustly. A company that can target defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to incentivize efficiently. Think one-to-one. Think intuitive. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We often engineer holistic user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to maximize "super-proactively"? The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the ability to optimize macro-transparently. Oakhall is the industry leader of bleeding-edge e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. A company that can exploit courageously will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will grow our power to harness without decrementing our ability to syndicate. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you scale transparently then you may also extend intuitively. Think micro-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be client-focused? The reporting factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We here at Oakhall have proven we know that it is better to expedite micro-mega-proactively than to matrix virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global CAD and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Think blog-based. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The e-businesses factor is C2B2B. What does the term "compelling" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! We will generate the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, out-of-the-box. Oakhall has revolutionized the idea of 60/60/24/7/365, value-added compliance. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack cross-media enterprise re-sizing monitoring. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to reintermediate cyber-nano-virally. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our aptitude to whiteboard. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new cyber-turn-key users? If you maximize strategically, you may have to repurpose strategically. The mindshare factor is virtual. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic!