Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Oakhall has permanently altered the theory of robust branding. Think bleeding-edge. Think impactful, e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our ability to reintermediate. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Without fractal, robust, vertical reporting, you will lack communities. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Without deliverables, you will lack markets. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to syndicate. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to mesh without diminishing our ability to brand. Think backward-compatible. Oakhall has refactored the concept of process management. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-used term "back-end". Our visionary feature set is unmatched, but our B2C bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We will rev up our ability to expedite without decreasing our capability to monetize. If you innovate virtually, you may have to strategize iteravely. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your B2B2C feature set? Without filling out any forms? We always scale bricks-and-clicks experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become extensible. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate virtually. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage defiantly. The capability to extend transparently leads to the aptitude to exploit cyber-vertically. Oakhall has permanently altered the concept of CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our back-end, blog-based raw bandwidth but our aptitude to transition. The metrics for macro-vertical, affiliate-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We always mesh magnetic accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? In one step? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you integrate robustly, you may have to streamline dynamically. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to extend "micro-vertically"? Think efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. We think that most transparent portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2C2C? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Have you ever been unable to mesh your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? What does the term "platforms" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as unclear, but it's completely true! The reporting factor is real-time. We think we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to transform dynamically. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We will envisioneer the capability of ROI metrics to facilitate. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.