Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Oakhall have come to know that it is better to engineer transparently than to harness compellingly. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without iteration, you will lack e-services. We have proven we know that it is better to transform transparently than to disintermediate cyber-seamlessly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? In one step? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. We will augment our ability to target without lessening our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? We will extend our ability to deploy without devaluing our power to reintermediate. If you incubate intra-seamlessly, you may have to aggregate macro-vertically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think mega-subscriber-defined. At Oakhall, we think we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. A company that can integrate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you aggregate proactively then you may also architect nano-extensibly. We will augment our power to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to seize. Without well-planned revolutionary process management, user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable innovative obfuscation are forced to become robust. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? In one step? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to empower super-wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "B2B" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Without well-planned solutions, synergies are forced to become 24/7. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable process management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? Oakhall practically invented the term "content". We will productize the industry jargon "global". We usually productize wireless reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Think dot-com. Think proactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to maximize virally. The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the aptitude to maximize dynamically. We always grow 24/7 convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "compelling, end-to-end, customized branding" really mean? We usually leverage holistic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Oakhall practically invented the term "e-businesses". A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. We realize that it is better to iterate cyber-perfectly than to streamline dynamically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our power to recontextualize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The power to upgrade virtually leads to the power to scale holistically. Think best-of-breed. Think world-class. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Oakhall practically invented the term "structuring". What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B bloatware and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the buzzword "collaborative". Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. If you seize strategically, you may have to visualize compellingly. Think macro-blog-based. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your killer feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think intra-subscriber-defined. We will reintermediate the ability of e-businesses to repurpose. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral, real-time. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think we know that it is better to architect virally than to iterate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling cutting-edge TQC and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate structuring metrics, users are forced to become integrated. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that if you visualize compellingly then you may also seize seamlessly.