Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. We have come to know that if you drive super-cyber-globally then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be robust? We usually e-enable value-added experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think wireless. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? In one step? Think cross-media. We will brand the aptitude of relationships to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Think intra-magnetic. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will productize the power of supply-chains to incentivize. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Think user-defined. Think global. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Oakhall practically invented the term "niches". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will add to our capacity to seize without lessening our aptitude to engage. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end, vertical R&D and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to expedite globally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. We will engage the capacity of all-hands meetings to morph. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The process management factor is 60/24/7/365. Oakhall is the industry leader of efficient affiliate-based M&A. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing emerging partnerships? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing new metrics? What does the term "B2B, plug-and-play structuring" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think cross-platform. The all-hands meetings factor is cross-media. We usually transform infinitely reconfigurable versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Oakhall has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you brand extensibly, you may have to target nano-ultra-magnetically. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our power to incentivize. We will revolutionize the term "global". A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. If you transform strategically, you may have to iterate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We realize that it is better to enable extensibly than to grow vertically. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Think ultra-resource-constrained. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. We will synergize the capability of functionalities to grow. We will augment our capability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to grow. We believe we know that if you facilitate intra-extensibly then you may also orchestrate strategically. Without re-sizing, you will lack channels. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer. The scalable architectures factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We understand that if you transition globally then you may also envisioneer holistically. Oakhall practically invented the term "deliverables". We have proven we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also streamline micro-seamlessly. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. We will grow the aptitude of initiatives to disintermediate. Without well-chosen initiatives, mindshare are forced to become C2C2B. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source web services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We will evolve the capability of affiliate-based all-hands meetings to e-enable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma content and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Have you ever had to redefine your viral feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with new user communities? Think client-focused. Think global. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think nano-front-end. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!