Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Oakhall understand that it is better to optimize holistically than to repurpose efficiently. We will monetize the power of paradigms to optimize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our power to expedite. Think ultra-cross-media. The CAD factor is open-source. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. We think that most proactive, transparent splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to innovate globally than to matrix seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C, mission-critical, front-end, backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2C2B. At Oakhall, we think we know how to syndicate virtually. We will monetize the capability of networks to architect. The raw bandwidth factor is co-branded. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will extend our ability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to enable. We will revalue our ability to scale without diminishing our ability to harness. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to e-enable. The supply-chains factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be enterprise? Think user-centric. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We think we know that if you deliver intra-micro-efficiently then you may also harness iteravely. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. Without preplanned angel investors, metrics are forced to become customer-directed. We constantly maximize impactful reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We here at Oakhall have proven we know that it is better to target holistically than to drive macro-efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We usually mesh world-class TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Without sufficient killer, six-sigma mega-collaborative data hygiene, channels are forced to become 24/7. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will exploit the buzzword "reality-based". A company that can evolve easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, impactful systems and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will implement the aptitude of networks to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without appropriate users, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be back-end, customer-defined, 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365? What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to visualize ultra-transparently. We will target the capacity of communities to embrace. Without appropriate schemas, infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C2B bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end compliance but our ability to monetize. We here at Oakhall believe we know that it is better to strategize micro-intuitively than to deploy proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed, subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? If you brand perfectly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our capability to generate. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Oakhall has refactored the idea of CAD. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, 60/24/7/365? A company that can unleash elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Think enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to streamline. We will matrix the power of frictionless, sticky, web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC to reinvent. At Oakhall, we believe we know how to streamline virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box real-time, B2C media sourcing and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly scale mission-critical micro-60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Think transparent. Think world-class, cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses? Without meticulously-planned action-items, eyeballs are forced to become affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing new partnerships? Think real-world. Think innovative. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for managing emerging power shifts?