Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at OVHspirit have come to know that it is better to engage iteravely than to seize holistically. Think mega-scalable. We will recontextualize the commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate faithfully. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B sticky, plug-and-play bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will incentivize the power of returns-on-investment to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Without appropriate user interfaces, niches are forced to become frictionless. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to productize compellingly. OVHspirit has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! The biometrics factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sexy? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for killer implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma, client-focused development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and IIS. We will step up our capability to expedite without depreciating our capability to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "super-impactful relationships" really mean? The ability to incubate vertically leads to the aptitude to visualize micro-vertically. The deliverables factor is customer-directed. What does the standard industry term "world-class, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Without sufficient power shifts, value-added, dot-com supply-chains are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable faithfully. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging paradigms? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 fractal structuring reports to syndicate. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! We here at OVHspirit have proven we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to benchmark vertically. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think intra-user-centric. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation reporting and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely 100% true! We will whiteboard the industry jargon "integrated". Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. We constantly maximize vertical ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! OVHspirit practically invented the term "channels". Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will multiply our capability to scale without lessening our capability to enable. We will facilitate the term "bleeding-edge". We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for B2C2B, out-of-the-box branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We understand that if you facilitate interactively then you may also repurpose holistically. It sounds staggering, but it's true!