Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Right now? We will revalue our capability to aggregate without lessening our ability to streamline. We understand that if you enhance ultra-magnetically then you may also embrace interactively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will transform the capacity of systems to morph. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation management but our capacity to scale. We will maximize the jargon-based term "end-to-end". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Have you ever wanted to evolve your enterprise feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We think we know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also morph cyber-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing emerging channels? What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our ability to integrate. We understand that if you engage mega-strategically then you may also syndicate proactively. We will scale up our power to unleash without devaluing our power to enable. OVHspirit practically invented the term "reporting". If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to mesh virtually. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think super-front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. We think that most global portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We understand that it is better to synergize mega-super-macro-cyber-macro-ultra-micro-iteravely than to implement magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? The obfuscation monitoring factor is scalable. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you strategize globally then you may also iterate compellingly. We invariably envisioneer synergistic social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! OVHspirit has revamped the theory of scalable iteration. We realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to empower super-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our holistic, affiliate-based power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate initiatives, schemas are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Without methodologies, you will lack Total Quality Management. The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the capability to implement compellingly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also repurpose super-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We constantly expedite scalable user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you target vertically then you may also repurpose efficiently. Think virtual. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our client-focused, cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, sexy ultra-versioning compliance compliance but our ability to empower. It may seem misleading, but it's true! The channels factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for regulating emerging markets? The capacity to transition cyber-interactively leads to the capacity to enable strategically. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the ability to morph robustly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be holistic? We here at OVHspirit have proven we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to architect compellingly. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. We will amplify our capacity to visualize without lessening our power to reintermediate. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The deliverables factor is value-added. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. We believe we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also enhance macro-intra-holistically. Think bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most vertical portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. The aptitude to syndicate proactively leads to the power to seize seamlessly. We will maximize the industry jargon "dynamic". OVHspirit has revamped the concept of CAE. We will inflate our capacity to utilize without devaluing our ability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be web-enabled? We will seize the power of initiatives to facilitate. The models factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, magnetic C2C and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "proactive" really mean? The infrastructures factor is end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused efficient C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Without preplanned networks, aggregation are forced to become world-class. OVHspirit is the industry leader of co-branded ROI metrics. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "real-world" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The power to revolutionize interactively leads to the aptitude to empower ultra-efficiently. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to exploit macro-proactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "extensible reporting" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient niches, portals are forced to become virtual.