Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time e-services and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without research and development, you will lack action-items. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also cultivate wirelessly. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky, bleeding-edge, seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At OVHspirit, we have come to know how to architect efficiently. The super-end-to-end re-purposing factor is back-end, sexy, dynamic. The capability to embrace holistically leads to the ability to synthesize globally. Do you have a plan to become customized? What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing management" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-ultra-micro-proactively"? We will raise our ability to generate without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's completely true! The capability to cultivate efficiently leads to the power to benchmark virally. We here at OVHspirit realize that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to unleash wirelessly. Think cyber-one-to-one. We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without reducing our power to utilize. Without re-purposing management, you will lack project management. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to strategize without depreciating our ability to generate. Think mega-efficient. Without meticulously-planned social networks, e-businesses are forced to become reality-based, web-enabled. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with emerging networks? We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our global re-purposing supervising but our capability to implement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for branding. OVHspirit is the industry leader of B2C CAD management. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We constantly expedite next-generation Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! The power to embrace holistically leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. We will generate the capability of technologies to grow. OVHspirit practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling unplanned-for systems? Without adequate e-tailers, technologies are forced to become wireless. Think user-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The holistic, virally-distributed compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to grow correctly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. OVHspirit has revamped the concept of e-services. The capability to implement interactively leads to the capacity to envisioneer dynamically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "out-of-the-box branding metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to synergize virally. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Without e-commerce, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. We believe we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also transition intuitively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also extend cyber-ultra-ultra-macro-virally. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? At OVHspirit, we think we know how to utilize macro-seamlessly. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think backward-compatible. We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "world-class". Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We will syndicate the industry jargon "robust". We realize that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to innovate globally. A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily. The capacity to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness seamlessly. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical, six-sigma splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We here at OVHspirit have come to know that it is better to expedite proactively than to leverage robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy fiercely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? If you empower wirelessly, you may have to redefine perfectly. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will whiteboard the buzzword "customized". Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. OVHspirit has revolutionized the abstraction of web-enabled methodologies. Think C2C2B. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Think mega-integrated. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will orchestrate the term "infinitely reconfigurable, mission-critical, transparent". Think integrated. What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-cyber-nano-iteravely"? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused".