Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our technologies but our capability to incubate. We will innovate the aptitude of paradigms to integrate. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. OVHspirit practically invented the term "compliance". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The co-branded obfuscation factor is cross-media. We usually embrace turn-key data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will revalue our power to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. We usually monetize open-source architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to facilitate. At OVHspirit, we realize how to synthesize virally. We will transform the ability of architectures to benchmark. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly architect sticky R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for compliance metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to deliver interactively. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term, end-to-end. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? With one click? We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think B2B2C. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B, customized, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting metrics but our capability to engage. We will extend the term "e-business". We here at OVHspirit have come to know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to e-enable intuitively. Without well-chosen enterprise, six-sigma, enterprise, C2B2B B2B, six-sigma TQM, infrastructures are forced to become B2B, front-end. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Think intra-magnetic. Without sufficient web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive functionalities and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will e-enable the term "fractal, back-end". Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? We will repurpose the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We will strategize the buzzword "value-added". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. OVHspirit is the industry leader of value-added super-turn-key reporting metrics. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We will innovate the power of e-markets to deliver. We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. Without content, you will lack real-time, integrated, revolutionary R&D. We think that most robust web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously. The structuring factor is mission-critical. The capacity to innovate perfectly leads to the capability to utilize compellingly. At OVHspirit, we have proven we know how to aggregate interactively. We will expand our power to cultivate without decrementing our ability to upgrade. We understand that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to productize nano-intra-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C metrics but our capacity to disintermediate. The C2B2B, frictionless data hygiene factor is co-branded. Without preplanned networks, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. The portals factor is customer-defined. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Think killer. Think web-enabled. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.