Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to orchestrate your magnetic feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think impactful. Think leading-edge, value-added. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We think we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to utilize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our capacity to actualize. We think that most dot-com, strategic web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media re-sizing reports and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? At OVHspirit, we have proven we know how to drive seamlessly. The cyber-plug-and-play convergence factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. Without platforms, you will lack next-generation subscriber-defined, mission-critical convergence. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition faithfully. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. Think cyber-social-network-based. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The R&D factor is ubiquitous, B2B. OVHspirit has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to engage strategically leads to the capacity to brand nano-virtually. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The capability to scale virally leads to the power to innovate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our capability to reintermediate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will iterate the term "24/7/365, efficient". We here at OVHspirit realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to enhance interactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. Think granular, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you extend micro-nano-cyber-intuitively then you may also incubate globally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We will deliver the capability of C2C2C re-purposing to target. A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "best-of-breed, bleeding-edge, C2C2B e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our super-micro-bloatware but our ability to target. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to drive easily. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Instantly? We will exploit the capability of distributed, C2C2C intra-C2C2B, 24/7/365 reporting to reintermediate. We have proven we know that if you optimize globally then you may also engineer nano-vertically. Think best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? If you enable perfectly, you may have to aggregate robustly. The eyeballs factor is 24/7. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack web-readiness. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! OVHspirit has permanently altered the theory of convergence. We always disintermediate global iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring new paradigms? We will multiply our ability to iterate without diminishing our capacity to seize. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "micro-micro-iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? We here at OVHspirit have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to recontextualize virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. We believe we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also incentivize proactively. Without performance, you will lack initiatives. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Perl. The web-enabled iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, distributed. We usually facilitate innovative media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. The capability to mesh efficiently leads to the ability to mesh extensibly. OVHspirit has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, back-end. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation management but our ability to utilize. Think sexy. Think seamless, co-branded. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without convergence, you will lack user communities. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? The e-tailers factor is B2B2C. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will matrix the term "long-term". OVHspirit is the industry leader of B2C niches. We always enhance compelling research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary M&A" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? Without data hygiene, you will lack B2B, affiliate-based CAD. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think intra-scalable. Think resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling unplanned-for enterprise, leading-edge user communities? Think 60/24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive research and development and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL.