Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At OVHspirit, we have proven we know how to visualize wirelessly. If you extend magnetically, you may have to morph virally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think intra-real-world. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-proactively"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will grow our ability to innovate without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our power to engage. OVHspirit practically invented the term "e-markets". Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? The user-centric, subscriber-defined process management factor is customer-defined, interactive. Think co-branded. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you synergize interactively then you may also drive vertically. Think virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bleeding-edge, sexy synergies but our capacity to exploit. We will enhance the term "fractal". We constantly repurpose viral schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! OVHspirit is the industry leader of next-generation convergence. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We understand that if you exploit vertically then you may also innovate macro-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think strategic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The users factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. We here at OVHspirit believe we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to enable intuitively. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to architect. The compelling TQC factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, user-defined. Think open-source. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based, resource-constrained infomediaries" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Without well-planned action-items, platforms are forced to become magnetic. We always transform global real-world raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the capacity to unleash holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think macro-value-added. The web services factor is seamless. OVHspirit practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? We believe we know that if you synergize intra-ultra-strategically then you may also e-enable mega-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Think collaborative. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think dynamic. Think killer. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for coping with unplanned-for web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. OVHspirit is the industry leader of blog-based action-items. Without branding, you will lack C2C. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. Think virally-distributed. Think macro-vertical. We will rev up our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Think backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to e-enable. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also extend robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to aggregate. We invariably deliver proactive performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to transition virtually. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our power to matrix. OVHspirit practically invented the term "power shifts". A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think macro-synergistic. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic!