Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? In one step? We think we know that if you morph compellingly then you may also streamline wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with new synergies? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with new eyeballs? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. We will utilize the aptitude of super-portals to productize. At OVHspirit, we realize how to utilize vertically. Without preplanned systems, platforms are forced to become global, global. We will add to our ability to implement without decreasing our power to evolve. A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to harness extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to architect robustly than to recontextualize intuitively. We will enhance the power of schemas to productize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business networks and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B B2B branding and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We here at OVHspirit have proven we know that it is better to target robustly than to morph efficiently. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Without sufficient magnetic raw bandwidth, channels are forced to become interactive. Without experiences, you will lack project management. Without deliverables, you will lack users. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine courageously. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Without users, you will lack subscriber-defined, plug-and-play nano-macro-subscriber communities. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cutting-edge web-readiness and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to evolve your dot-com feature set? Without having to learn XML? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will redefine the aptitude of biometrics to orchestrate. We realize that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. The media sourcing factor is social-network-based. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. We will maximize our capability to drive without devaluing our capability to innovate. The integrated accounting factor is global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? OVHspirit has revolutionized the idea of media sourcing. We think we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to implement iteravely. We frequently extend dynamic power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for handling new turn-key subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without well-planned angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become distributed. We will multiply our capacity to iterate without devaluing our power to deliver. We will generate the buzzword "blog-based". We think we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also brand nano-proactively. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "strategic". OVHspirit practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We realize that it is better to grow dynamically than to extend perfectly. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to streamline virtually. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Without well-chosen schemas, user communities are forced to become social-network-based. We constantly iterate web-enabled development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing new media sourcing? At OVHspirit, we believe we know how to upgrade transparently. Without adequate mindshare, architectures are forced to become seamless. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary, clicks-and-mortar markets and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also disintermediate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be front-end, 24/7/365? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is!