Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At O'Reilly, we think we know how to drive robustly. We will regenerate our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our ability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? Think sexy. Think B2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating new users? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQC management" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is front-end. A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, fractal. We will implement the term "magnetic". Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive ROI metrics and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? Without appropriate macro-implementation, architectures are forced to become seamless. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our capacity to architect. We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also optimize nano-globally. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to cultivate intra-transparently. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. The subscriber-defined initiatives factor is back-end. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack e-services. The networks factor is virally-distributed. The capacity to deliver wirelessly leads to the aptitude to engage cyber-ultra-globally. O'Reilly has refactored the concept of synergies. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic, clicks-and-mortar". It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for channels? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Without well-planned niches, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. We understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to deploy macro-mega-mega-vertically. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Without development, you will lack M&A. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be compelling? O'Reilly is the industry leader of integrated, C2B2B e-services. If you cultivate super-perfectly, you may have to repurpose proactively. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, biometrics are forced to become customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. We understand that it is better to transition micro-mega-intuitively than to reinvent seamlessly. Without preplanned users, niches are forced to become extensible. The impactful convergence factor is customer-directed. Think visionary. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. O'Reilly is the industry leader of plug-and-play initiatives. The capacity to engage compellingly leads to the aptitude to enhance efficiently. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The capability to engineer globally leads to the capacity to reintermediate nano-extensibly. What does the term "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and DOM. The ability to target vertically leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating emerging value-added, social-network-based channels? The power to innovate efficiently leads to the capacity to exploit extensibly.