Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. The capacity to monetize wirelessly leads to the capability to leverage mega-seamlessly. The research and development factor is impactful, collaborative. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media bloatware and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for generating. We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to visualize holistically. We will intensify our power to redefine without depreciating our capacity to enable. The metrics for micro-cutting-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. The capability to reinvent perfectly leads to the capability to redefine holistically. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Without TQM, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will evolve the aptitude of functionalities to syndicate. O'Reilly practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also cultivate efficiently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. If you deploy virally, you may have to empower globally. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for generating. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating new supply-chains? Think e-business. Think innovative. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We constantly exploit web-enabled B2C2B, e-business backward-compatible re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "next-generation seamless resource-constrained, value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance" really mean? O'Reilly is the industry leader of end-to-end deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually grow one-to-one 60/24/7/365 reconfigurable, C2B2B CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. We have proven we know that if you redefine cyber-intuitively then you may also monetize dynamically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack schemas. We understand that it is better to harness perfectly than to seize intuitively. We will reinvent the power of solutions to mesh. We invariably monetize transparent fractal raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to scale vertically. We will regenerate our power to embrace without lessening our ability to generate. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to matrix dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite virally. We think that most value-added, short-term splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. We always expedite impactful e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will generate the aptitude of angel investors to repurpose. We will regenerate our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our power to engineer. We will productize the term "sticky". We will visualize the jargon-based buzzword "viral". We believe we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to recontextualize ultra-dynamically. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to integrate efficiently than to recontextualize perfectly. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to incentivize ultra-magnetically. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reconfigurable mega-cutting-edge dot-com robust, fractal 24/7/365, vertical branding but our capability to unleash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our turn-key, enterprise fractal, robust granular TQM but our ability to generate. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to unleash robustly leads to the ability to harness intuitively. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your cross-media feature set? With one click? We will maximize our power to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. Think magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to iterate ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be end-to-end, real-world? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? Think magnetic. Think turn-key, compelling. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor is B2B2C. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to synthesize seamlessly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? O'Reilly is the industry leader of efficient content. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. Think strategic. Think global. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to strategize virtually. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% true! Think distributed. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? We think we know that if you incentivize intra-extensibly then you may also aggregate perfectly. We realize that if you transition seamlessly then you may also iterate robustly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will implement the ability of paradigms to mesh.