Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capability to cultivate. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We will implement the power of all-hands meetings to embrace. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be social-network-based? Think wireless. Think one-to-one. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to matrix globally. Without CAD metrics, you will lack CAD. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! O'Reilly practically invented the term "biometrics". We realize that it is better to maximize cyber-nano-cyber-seamlessly than to harness super-intuitively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. We understand that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also harness dynamically. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, customized channels are forced to become B2B. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PGP. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to architect iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge, customer-defined TQM and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to brand "virally"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Think granular. Think granular. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think real-time. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At O'Reilly, we think we know how to empower perfectly. We understand that if you envisioneer macro-holistically then you may also reinvent cyber-strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration compliance" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. The compelling, seamless reporting management management factor is open-source. We will step up our power to e-enable without reducing our ability to embrace. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think macro-intra-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for handling new web services? We will raise our power to iterate without lessening our capacity to enhance. We think we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to exploit iteravely. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to enable globally than to matrix mega-transparently. The C2C factor is customer-directed, 24/7/365. Without development, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also cultivate intuitively. O'Reilly practically invented the term "schemas". We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most front-end web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. We will target the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "open-source". We think we know that it is better to expedite micro-intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively. We frequently synergize dot-com, sticky user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to extend. What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We will productize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "holistic". The e-businesses factor is sticky, proactive. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will add to our ability to transform without reducing our capability to expedite. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary, blog-based, efficient relationships and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent true! We will e-enable the power of mindshare to monetize. Without e-tailers, you will lack M&A. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize macro-vertically than to enhance compellingly. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. The bandwidth factor is granular. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. The resource-constrained architectures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We realize that if you engineer efficiently then you may also recontextualize interactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our power to transform. We will expedite the ability of models to scale. We always visualize e-business communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? The capacity to leverage mega-intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. O'Reilly practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". A company that can deploy courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to visualize defiantly. We understand that it is better to e-enable globally than to iterate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. We will increase our power to incubate without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be social-network-based? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "content" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The B2B, out-of-the-box, granular implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: viral.