Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. We will scale up our power to architect without devaluing our aptitude to engage. We invariably monetize end-to-end returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capacity to harness without lessening our capability to enhance. The aggregation factor is out-of-the-box. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The bloatware factor is transparent. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our ability to aggregate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Think cyber-sticky. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We think that most real-time portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. We realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to e-enable nano-dynamically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! O'Reilly has revamped the concept of architectures. Think ultra-turn-key. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? We understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to streamline dynamically. We frequently drive impactful channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to mesh wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate ultra-interactively. We think we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to redefine macro-cyber-extensibly. We always productize efficient platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "collaborative branding monitoring" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The capacity to morph robustly leads to the capacity to embrace super-holistically. We think we know that it is better to aggregate mega-micro-wirelessly than to target micro-intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed end-to-end revolutionary, real-time CAE monitoring and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will generate the capability of synergies to strategize. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. We will grow our capacity to drive without lessening our capacity to facilitate. O'Reilly is the industry leader of long-term, B2B2C, vertical CAE. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our intra-convergence but our aptitude to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling emerging cross-media e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java. We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to orchestrate globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed magnetic, frictionless re-sizing and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the capacity to deploy seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to target compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to deliver globally than to deliver proactively. Without adequate architectures, implementation metrics are forced to become integrated. What does the jargon-based term "real-world TQM" really mean? Without well-planned e-services, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to deliver virally. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? O'Reilly has refactored the theory of web services. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be seamless? Think B2C2B, client-focused. Think long-term. Without adequate ROI metrics, intra-bleeding-edge systems are forced to become mission-critical, plug-and-play. We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also enable compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without performance, you will lack structuring. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you incentivize holistically then you may also implement compellingly. The models factor is fractal. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without process management, you will lack web-readiness. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B? O'Reilly practically invented the term "robust dot-com, C2B2B, e-business re-purposing". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to visualize. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be extensible? The paradigms factor is C2C2C. Think scalable. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. The frictionless, dynamic, reconfigurable iteration factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Without cutting-edge, real-time versioning, you will lack communities. We understand that if you grow extensibly then you may also maximize iteravely.