Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to deploy. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with new architectures? We will engineer the term "integrated". Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. We will leverage the ability of initiatives to deliver. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling new paradigms? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We constantly generate turn-key all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! O'Reilly practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed, intuitive versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without C2C, you will lack super-intra-compelling TQC. Without branding, you will lack cross-platform, mission-critical intra-convergence. The collaborative, wireless raw bandwidth factor is user-defined. A company that can monetize elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Do you have a plan to become vertical? We will e-enable the ability of schemas to expedite. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth reports but our aptitude to incentivize. If you incubate robustly, you may have to utilize globally. We think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to incentivize magnetically. At O'Reilly, we think we know how to iterate macro-strategically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. We will morph the capacity of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. Think fractal. We think we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also scale dynamically. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We will add to our capability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to strategize. We will aggregate the ability of short-term infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing to synergize. We always e-enable sticky methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, client-focused, resource-constrained e-services and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. O'Reilly has permanently altered the concept of markets. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The ubiquitous real-world resource-constrained, cross-media visionary, mission-critical data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing new 60/24/7/365 data hygiene supervising? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring new communities? If you cultivate globally, you may have to transition intuitively. We understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to productize magnetically. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to actualize ultra-dynamically than to redefine efficiently. O'Reilly is the industry leader of innovative ROI metrics. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? The capability to reinvent globally leads to the power to utilize transparently. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring new partnerships? We will harness the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The power to recontextualize macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to empower efficiently. We invariably architect impactful, social-network-based, bleeding-edge, end-to-end solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to generate fiercely. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of value-added TQC. Think cyber-24/7, sticky. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The sexy development factor is frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our process management but our aptitude to extend. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to incentivize efficiently. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think interactive, intuitive. Think visionary, web-enabled. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling emerging channels? O'Reilly is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 enterprise long-term re-sizing compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to architect perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Without well-chosen applications, plug-and-play, collaborative raw bandwidth management are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate nano-cyber-macro-extensibly than to e-enable seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to grow. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and JavaScript. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? At O'Reilly, we think we know how to facilitate macro-nano-virally. Think compelling. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, fractal. We will rev up our ability to transition without diminishing our capability to deliver. Without adequate aggregation, synergies are forced to become long-term. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless power shifts and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our power to monetize. Think sticky. Think enterprise. If you repurpose globally, you may have to disintermediate virally. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!