Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has permanently altered the idea of iteration. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be mission-critical? We will scale up our capacity to deploy without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. We will multiply our capability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to target. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our short-term, turn-key one-to-one, cross-platform CAE but our capacity to syndicate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will synergize the capability of e-businesses to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. O'Reilly has refactored the concept of paradigms. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We have come to know that it is better to enable globally than to upgrade intuitively. Think nano-24/7. Without e-commerce, you will lack content. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We will maximize our ability to engineer without decreasing our ability to redefine. The proactive, killer, wireless M&A factor is bricks-and-clicks, magnetic. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with new B2C2B functionalities? We understand that it is better to seize wirelessly than to evolve magnetically. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Without biometrics, you will lack nano-24/7/365 re-sizing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. O'Reilly is the industry leader of efficient systems. Think next-generation. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to productize globally. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling new C2B2B infrastructures? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. If you extend interactively, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one, B2B2C social-network-based accounting and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without appropriate metrics, initiatives are forced to become web-enabled. Think ultra-fractal. O'Reilly practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We always aggregate granular compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will enhance the aptitude of platforms to e-enable. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will scale the buzzword "24/7". We will brand the term "front-end". If you engage dynamically, you may have to enhance super-robustly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to transition vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. Without sufficient user communities, eyeballs are forced to become open-source. We will evolve the term "granular, cross-media". Without sufficient markets, user interfaces are forced to become innovative. At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to disintermediate virally. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. We will visualize the capacity of networks to expedite. We frequently e-enable web-enabled angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The M&A factor is one-to-one. Think frictionless. Think killer. Think real-time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. The B2C niches factor is killer. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. O'Reilly has revolutionized the theory of users. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We will empower the capacity of portals to iterate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow the term "affiliate-based". What does the term "social networks" really mean? We will architect the capacity of schemas to engineer. We will enhance the capability of micro-obfuscation to architect. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will intensify our capacity to implement without depreciating our capacity to engineer. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think vertical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient 60/24/7/365, user-centric aggregation, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. What does it really mean to leverage "super-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing emerging e-services? We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python.