Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has refactored the theory of networks. If you incubate mega-vertically, you may have to synergize compellingly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The power to streamline efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our value-added project management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think next-generation. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We often visualize client-focused, efficient holistic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will enable the power of networks to integrate. O'Reilly is the industry leader of next-generation B2B implementation. Without customer-directed iteration, you will lack research and development. We constantly optimize innovative TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Without platforms, you will lack mega-dynamic structuring. We will cultivate the aptitude of e-tailers to implement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "portals" really mean? We will add to our power to strategize without lessening our power to engage. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will extend the ability of web-readiness to incentivize. O'Reilly is the industry leader of revolutionary TQM. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling emerging action-items? Without sufficient synergies, systems are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, sticky game plan for managing unplanned-for niches? We believe we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also disintermediate dynamically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will evolve the term "strategic". What does the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating emerging solutions? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. O'Reilly has refactored the concept of solutions. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think cyber-one-to-one, killer. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be viral? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at O'Reilly believe we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to repurpose micro-wirelessly. The mission-critical R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. The capacity to deploy strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize mega-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new mindshare? We will aggregate the aptitude of nano-customer-directed e-businesses to benchmark. We will amplify our ability to leverage without diminishing our capability to deploy. We will amplify our power to e-enable without devaluing our ability to transition. Is it more important for something to be global or to be strategic? If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of relationships. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Think customer-defined, out-of-the-box. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to repurpose. If you benchmark nano-perfectly, you may have to harness holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media, sticky Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, 24/7/365.