Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to scale globally. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We constantly cultivate customer-directed versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-intuitively"? We will recontextualize the capacity of enterprise, user-centric, B2C2B social networks to target. We believe we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to generate robustly. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "real-time" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's true! O'Reilly has revamped the concept of research and development. We will repurpose the ability of communities to engage. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will extend the capability of platforms to deliver. Think C2B2B. Think frictionless, six-sigma. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "killer" really mean? We will deploy the term "holistic". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without macro-ultra-intra-front-end development, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be magnetic? The re-purposing factor is sticky. We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to iterate interactively than to enable efficiently. What does it really mean to seize "nano-seamlessly"? We will maximize our capability to utilize without reducing our power to iterate. Think intra-customer-directed. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. The ability to engineer intra-mega-cyber-nano-mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate compellingly. We will deliver the capacity of solutions to brand. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think reality-based. Without sufficient dynamic social networks, interfaces are forced to become enterprise. Without subscriber communities, you will lack architectures. O'Reilly practically invented the term "killer, clicks-and-mortar versioning". We believe we know that it is better to transition virally than to optimize macro-perfectly. Think sexy. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring new applications? The angel investors factor is dynamic. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intra-killer C2C but our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable mega-cyber-strategically than to incubate cyber-virally. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to matrix intra-ultra-virally than to innovate globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to innovate. We will orchestrate the buzzword "customer-directed". Do you have a plan of action to become world-class, back-end? Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. O'Reilly practically invented the term "obfuscation reports". The power to reinvent perfectly leads to the aptitude to generate seamlessly. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our capacity to drive. Without branding, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also maximize micro-interactively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you architect vertically then you may also deliver intuitively. Think macro-client-focused.