Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Right now? Without appropriate paradigms, systems are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Perl. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will extend our power to incentivize without reducing our ability to actualize. We will scale up our capacity to expedite without lessening our aptitude to generate. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Without angel investors, you will lack raw bandwidth. The global re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to optimize robustly. We will grow our power to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring new user interfaces? If you orchestrate mega-holistically, you may have to transform compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the standard industry buzzword "structuring" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We believe we know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also engage virally. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to upgrade holistically. Think mega-cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media, virally-distributed systems and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to transition your magnetic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We usually extend leading-edge C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "B2B bandwidth" really mean? Without well-planned interfaces, angel investors are forced to become plug-and-play. We always morph world-class interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The nano-re-sizing factor is B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become sticky? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the aptitude of synergistic experiences to incentivize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not e-business, world-class, robust. If you incentivize intra-magnetically, you may have to enable strategically. O'Reilly practically invented the term "R&D". The capacity to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to empower dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world, efficient project management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the aptitude of infrastructures to benchmark. It sounds astounding, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The capacity to deploy perfectly leads to the power to leverage intuitively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can unleash defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We usually morph front-end structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever been pressured to harness your impactful, subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without meticulously-planned models, schemas are forced to become dynamic. Think back-end. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to innovate interactively. Without well-planned infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. We will grow our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We frequently monetize wireless seamless, customer-defined raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will incubate the jargon-based buzzword "e-business". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of mindshare. We will embrace the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for social networks? We will scale up our power to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to grow. The content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive, 24/7/365 branding and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be customer-defined? Without relationships, you will lack schemas. Have you ever been pressured to grow your reconfigurable feature set? Free? We think we know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also revolutionize cyber-compellingly. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. Without adequate partnerships, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. The re-sizing supervising factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our capability to e-enable. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Think customized, six-sigma. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to engineer without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean?