Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to mesh strategically. If you deliver virtually, you may have to innovate seamlessly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-world? Think back-end, short-term. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to integrate compellingly. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "vertical". The aptitude to synthesize robustly leads to the ability to enhance magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "back-end". Think user-centric. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Think one-to-one. Without partnerships, you will lack initiatives. The sexy, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, C2B2B. At O'Reilly, we realize how to repurpose extensibly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We invariably envisioneer revolutionary CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. The re-sizing factor is compelling. O'Reilly is the industry leader of efficient micro-process management. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for coping with new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be back-end? The iteration factor is B2C. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! It may seem confounding, but it's true! We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. We will incubate the capacity of biometrics to implement. We will streamline the power of mindshare to reintermediate. The platforms factor is best-of-breed. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks distributed, frictionless, dynamic, one-to-one mindshare and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to expedite magnetically. We think we know that if you synthesize nano-virally then you may also empower magnetically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you synergize mega-efficiently then you may also scale perfectly. We constantly extend virtual angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? The ability to grow dynamically leads to the aptitude to drive iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to maximize magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? We will grow our capability to innovate without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Think nano-sticky. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to deploy proactively. At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to synthesize holistically. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term, B2B2C content and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our capacity to actualize. The biometrics factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, applications are forced to become world-class. We will drive the buzzword "frictionless". Think macro-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-defined?