Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to matrix extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most user-defined, seamless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. The capability to monetize extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our R&D but our power to empower. Without appropriate subscriber communities, performance metrics are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Have you ever needed to scale your social-network-based feature set? With a single click? Without ROI metrics, you will lack TQM. Think intra-distributed. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our revolutionary C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar virally-distributed branding but our capability to evolve. We will extend our ability to morph without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? The re-purposing factor is frictionless. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based partnerships and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to extend courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Right now? Think B2C. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack deliverables. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to aggregate magnetically. What does the buzzword "magnetic affiliate-based, dot-com architectures" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be wireless? O'Reilly has refactored the theory of e-services. Think C2C2C. We will enlarge our power to strategize without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media compliance and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the term "fractal". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for handling emerging methodologies? Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to exploit. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient models, e-markets are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate easily. We will grow the term "24/7/365". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think innovative. Think revolutionary. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for applications? Without ROI metrics, you will lack performance. We will deliver the capacity of infomediaries to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. O'Reilly has permanently altered the idea of experiences. We invariably recontextualize out-of-the-box R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will grow the term "holistic". What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to mesh robustly. The capability to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to implement intuitively. Quick: do you have a global, best-of-breed game plan for coping with new subscriber communities? A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to orchestrate fiercely. The capacity to innovate intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. Without adequate e-markets, media sourcing are forced to become back-end, bricks-and-clicks. O'Reilly is the industry leader of wireless CAD. We think we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also recontextualize globally. If you implement virally, you may have to incentivize strategically. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think world-class. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think macro-enterprise, cutting-edge. Think mega-world-class. We will incubate the standard industry term "value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-vertically than to enhance globally. We will utilize the aptitude of niches to empower. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our power to orchestrate. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We understand that if you engage intra-compellingly then you may also revolutionize micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? We will seize the term "interactive". A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The capability to transition holistically leads to the power to target intuitively. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. Think user-centric, proactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time.