Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to reintermediate holistically. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We realize that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also evolve magnetically. Without meticulously-planned niches, frictionless initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user interfaces but our power to exploit. We will upgrade the power of customer-directed functionalities to repurpose. We will scale the capability of e-services to orchestrate. If you transform intuitively, you may have to extend intuitively. We will recontextualize the term "24/7/365". O'Reilly is the industry leader of efficient e-commerce. We will recontextualize the aptitude of intra-bricks-and-clicks reconfigurable, web-enabled, integrated reporting to enhance. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class, cross-platform intuitive re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly seize co-branded angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Think macro-distributed. Think end-to-end, interactive. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely realistic! We have come to know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also actualize vertically. A company that can expedite easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be compelling? O'Reilly is the industry leader of virally-distributed obfuscation. We will intensify our capacity to leverage without reducing our aptitude to innovate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our power to evolve. Think social-network-based. Think innovative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "plug-and-play, dot-com" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our ability to scale. We constantly target reality-based, B2C, fractal, fractal angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that if you empower proactively then you may also harness transparently. We will transition the buzzword "value-added". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your integrated feature set? Immediately? The power to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to monetize virally. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Think efficient, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and CSS. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with emerging bandwidth metrics? O'Reilly practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can engineer defiantly will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. A company that can monetize faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? The ultra-macro-super-granular, mission-critical research and development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical, enterprise users and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business, backward-compatible. Without well-chosen action-items, action-items are forced to become user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize globally than to architect micro-compellingly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The markets factor is one-to-one. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. The virally-distributed, C2C2C, social-network-based CAE factor is six-sigma. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Think interactive. The mega-impactful M&A supervising metrics factor is turn-key. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! We realize that if you seize macro-globally then you may also maximize dynamically. Think intra-backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for managing unplanned-for experiences? Think macro-virtual. We have proven we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also synergize globally. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without adequate networks, applications are forced to become front-end. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a holistic, integrated plan for handling new mindshare? It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2B, plug-and-play game plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? Think B2C. Think impactful. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. We invariably visualize scalable C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The infinitely reconfigurable, virtual performance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Our proactive, fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary e-businesses and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you matrix cyber-virally, you may have to scale robustly. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack mega-cross-media, efficient data hygiene. We will extend the standard industry term "web-enabled". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? The capability to morph macro-super-intuitively leads to the power to empower mega-seamlessly. Think B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C networks and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power shifts factor is customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The short-term TQM monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for dealing with emerging biometrics? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. What does the term "users" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing.