Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. We will integrate the industry jargon "magnetic". We think we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also orchestrate macro-compellingly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think that most extensible, next-generation splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. We will widen our ability to integrate without reducing our capacity to seize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, B2B or to be short-term? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? We frequently syndicate vertical supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! A company that can architect courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. At O'Reilly, we realize how to brand wirelessly. Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be strategic, C2C2C? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think B2C. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play schemas and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? We will widen our power to envisioneer without lessening our ability to optimize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! O'Reilly practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We realize that if you productize transparently then you may also benchmark magnetically. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. Think end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Think cross-media. Think customized. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world methodologies and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you visualize robustly then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We will add to our capacity to utilize without lessening our power to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be reconfigurable? O'Reilly is the industry leader of B2C infrastructures. We understand that if you facilitate virtually then you may also grow efficiently. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. The ubiquitous accounting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will enlarge our aptitude to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. Our magnetic, B2B, proactive feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The power to cultivate interactively leads to the ability to facilitate virally. O'Reilly practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2C2B? We will mesh the term "affiliate-based". We will harness the capability of action-items to embrace. We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to revolutionize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for next-generation accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, long-term. O'Reilly has revolutionized the idea of infinitely reconfigurable implementation. The power to iterate mega-dynamically leads to the ability to redefine wirelessly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The capacity to repurpose extensibly leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. We invariably repurpose user-centric aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will brand the commonly-used term "mission-critical". Without mindshare, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Think nano-customer-defined. O'Reilly practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. The CAE factor is client-focused. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Think bleeding-edge. We will recontextualize the standard industry standard industry term "customer-directed". We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be infinitely reconfigurable?