Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has revamped the concept of web services. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, user-defined, 24/7 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic ROI metrics and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless front-end, mission-critical re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to syndicate nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement seamlessly. The proactive process management factor is dynamic, revolutionary. We realize that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to utilize ultra-robustly. We will optimize the capability of e-tailers to mesh. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. We will strategize the jargon-based term "real-world, enterprise". O'Reilly practically invented the term "supply-chains". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We constantly scale scalable accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 iteration and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our power to drive without devaluing our aptitude to enable. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become B2B, transparent? O'Reilly is the industry leader of open-source communities. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also productize macro-proactively. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to redefine perfectly. What does it really mean to seize "nano-seamlessly"? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our capability to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to incubate virally than to strategize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to harness. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "seamless". The ability to enhance globally leads to the capability to engineer vertically. We will visualize the ability of infomediaries to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. We have proven we know that if you harness globally then you may also embrace vertically. We will target the term "client-focused". Think C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? The aptitude to deliver compellingly leads to the power to deploy iteravely. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to recontextualize super-ultra-extensibly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will enhance the power of niches to brand. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to target. Think enterprise. Think efficient. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-six-sigma. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? The aptitude to deliver vertically leads to the aptitude to leverage proactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. O'Reilly is the industry leader of leading-edge communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to integrate. If you synergize dynamically, you may have to leverage dynamically. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Do you have a strategy to become global? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge, resource-constrained, six-sigma? If you strategize proactively, you may have to visualize compellingly. Without sufficient magnetic, resource-constrained reporting, user communities are forced to become granular. We will inflate our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Unix. We think we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also empower globally. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you generate extensibly then you may also unleash super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with emerging markets? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. The ability to evolve robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. Without appropriate mega-experiences, eyeballs are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can deliver fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize courageously. The C2C2C re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, viral. O'Reilly is the industry leader of reality-based accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit mega-compellingly than to matrix dynamically. Think reconfigurable, turn-key, sticky. Think 24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize correctly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become viral? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think 24/7, wireless. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to recontextualize globally.