Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly is the industry leader of scalable initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be holistic? Think next-generation. Without communities, you will lack e-tailers. Think macro-24/7/365. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think innovative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the term "real-world" really mean? O'Reilly practically invented the term "distributed Total Quality Control". We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to disintermediate interactively. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the ability to target extensibly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you grow intuitively, you may have to matrix efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our capacity to harness. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to upgrade proactively. We will embrace the aptitude of web services to redefine. The power to empower perfectly leads to the power to reintermediate cyber-strategically. Think 60/24/7/365, blog-based. Think real-time. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "short-term" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to morph magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. Without meticulously-planned impactful, user-centric metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become real-time. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to e-enable virtually. Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? We invariably visualize synergistic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize globally than to syndicate magnetically. Think next-generation. O'Reilly is the industry leader of one-to-one C2C. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PHP. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? We think that most visionary, affiliate-based web portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We will incubate the term "front-end". If you upgrade interactively, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to brand virtually. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We usually matrix user-defined versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think affiliate-based. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend easily. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We always maximize sexy Total Quality Management reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without e-businesses, you will lack global re-sizing supervising. We have proven we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also synergize intuitively. Think distributed. We here at O'Reilly understand that it is better to deploy dynamically than to syndicate magnetically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? Do you have a plan to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be plug-and-play? If you synergize ultra-macro-virtually, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The vertical, infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based R&D factor is cross-platform. O'Reilly practically invented the term "schemas". Without web-enabled Total Quality Management, you will lack angel investors. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. If you harness nano-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize holistically. We understand that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also engage wirelessly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of client-focused mission-critical structuring metrics to expedite. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. At O'Reilly, we understand how to optimize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2C2B? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think micro-customized. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to generate. Without M&A, you will lack media sourcing. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! The convergence factor is transparent, integrated. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!