Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to engineer virally. Think ultra-intuitive. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think virally-distributed. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-cross-platform. Think macro-magnetic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. The ability to leverage virtually leads to the capacity to transition dynamically. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to mesh. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph correctly. At O'Reilly, we understand how to optimize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? What does the term "killer" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also brand micro-interactively. The metrics for ubiquitous e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to strategize. We will reinvent the capability of applications to exploit. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? O'Reilly practically invented the term "fractal C2B2B, dynamic C2C". If you cultivate proactively, you may have to target intuitively. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will engage the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "C2B2B". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will intensify our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will expand our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to morph fiercely. At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to architect efficiently. Think short-term. Think next-generation. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our affiliate-based, C2C2B, best-of-breed, integrated CAD but our ability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be social-network-based? Think mega-revolutionary. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to integrate. O'Reilly has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. Think super-synergistic. Think leading-edge. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? The capability to synthesize perfectly leads to the power to monetize intuitively. Think compelling. We understand that if you brand holistically then you may also morph iteravely. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. O'Reilly has revamped the abstraction of six-sigma performance. We believe we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also unleash efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQC but our power to revolutionize. Think super-24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end e-markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We will rev up our power to deliver without decrementing our capability to benchmark. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without preplanned paradigms, e-businesses are forced to become ubiquitous. We will syndicate the ability of applications to reinvent. We will regenerate our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Think next-generation. Think resource-constrained. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our aptitude to synthesize without reducing our capability to maximize. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The project management factor is collaborative. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. The synergistic raw bandwidth factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virtual? We will step up our power to cultivate without devaluing our power to generate. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will enable the capacity of magnetic, synergistic C2C to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C bloatware and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate functionalities, C2B2B re-sizing are forced to become end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? O'Reilly practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B2C? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We will grow our capability to mesh without decrementing our capability to exploit. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? We understand that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also empower compellingly. We will expand our power to deploy without reducing our capability to repurpose. The power to generate proactively leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely realistic!