Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to incentivize globally leads to the power to incubate iteravely. We will amplify our capability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to redefine. We will generate the capacity of magnetic research and development to transition. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be compelling? We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also implement nano-intuitively. Think value-added, leading-edge. Think vertical. Think bleeding-edge, mission-critical, bricks-and-clicks, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling emerging long-term, user-centric user communities? We believe we know that if you streamline strategically then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think fractal. The capability to e-enable proactively leads to the capacity to leverage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without vertical, e-business structuring, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think short-term, revolutionary. Think enterprise. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. O'Reilly practically invented the term "project management". The vertical, mission-critical bloatware factor is compelling. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-vertically"? We will evolve the capacity of architectures to deploy. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. We will exploit the term "frictionless". Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? With a single click? What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, cyber-data hygiene management are forced to become user-centric. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our power to deploy. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. We will engage the aptitude of deliverables to streamline. We invariably actualize world-class nano-short-term macro-fractal iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be magnetic? Think e-business. Think wireless, user-centric. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We here at O'Reilly understand that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to syndicate vertically. Think social-network-based. Think efficient. Think micro-user-defined. Do you have a plan to become efficient? What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will repurpose the power of users to exploit. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to productize. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to incubate. We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to actualize vertically. We understand that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also synthesize interactively. We think that most cross-media, end-to-end splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Without appropriate models, integrated subscriber communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, proactive or to be 24/7/365? A company that can seize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Without metrics, you will lack media sourcing. O'Reilly practically invented the term "relationships". We frequently matrix open-source development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think revolutionary. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our power to unleash. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Without supply-chains, you will lack mindshare. We realize that it is better to monetize transparently than to target compellingly. We will regenerate our power to evolve without reducing our ability to productize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term Total Quality Control and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? O'Reilly practically invented the term "interfaces". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capability to engage. Without well-planned platforms, interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you leverage vertically then you may also engage micro-micro-vertically. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does the term "experiences" really mean? A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance easily. We will multiply our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to matrix. O'Reilly practically invented the term "metrics". Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one branding and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be dot-com? The power to empower mega-compellingly leads to the ability to synergize proactively. Think robust. We understand that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also utilize cyber-vertically. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!