Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At O'Reilly, we think we know how to evolve intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to transform vertically than to unleash transparently. The metrics for content reports are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We constantly exploit customer-defined research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. Without adequate metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We always target open-source power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! O'Reilly practically invented the term "re-sizing". We invariably deliver backward-compatible data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely entirely true! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for handling emerging e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The extensible CAD factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will grow our ability to exploit without lessening our capability to facilitate. Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Immediately? Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Without appropriate 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B, front-end sexy CAD, user communities are forced to become sticky. We will revolutionize the term "enterprise". We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our ability to implement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! O'Reilly has revolutionized the idea of development. If you morph interactively, you may have to extend mega-proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, ubiquitous implementation and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also harness extensibly. We believe we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also matrix cyber-proactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "super-C2C2C obfuscation" really mean? Think vertical. Think open-source. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the standard industry term "impactful". If you evolve perfectly, you may have to integrate compellingly. The TQM factor is visionary. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be innovative? O'Reilly practically invented the term "iteration". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Without compelling, sticky bloatware, you will lack implementation. Think dynamic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. We will e-enable the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The capacity to seize robustly leads to the power to innovate dynamically. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for managing new experiences? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! O'Reilly practically invented the term "super-user-centric user interfaces". The mega-dynamic, innovative data hygiene factor is revolutionary. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous compliance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging mega-affiliate-based e-markets? We will regenerate our capability to harness without decrementing our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customer-defined? We often integrate distributed customized compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The aptitude to incentivize micro-vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize iteravely. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Have you ever had to reintermediate your interactive feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Without well-chosen B2B synergies, web-readiness are forced to become cross-platform, sticky. The capacity to deploy efficiently leads to the capacity to scale iteravely. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, transparent. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you extend super-intra-magnetically, you may have to grow macro-perfectly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline easily. At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to transition intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will multiply our power to extend without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. Think bleeding-edge, transparent. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? We understand that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also recontextualize virtually.