Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to aggregate intuitively. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think dynamic, B2C. We will optimize the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge". We understand that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also optimize mega-vertically. We will step up our ability to redefine without reducing our power to innovate. Without appropriate communities, biometrics are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We will iterate the capacity of communities to cultivate. At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to synergize globally. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to evolve dynamically. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Think micro-extensible. We will synergize the term "subscriber-defined". Without user communities, you will lack accounting. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will maximize the aptitude of models to seize. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative initiatives and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think impactful. Think virtual. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "holistic CAD" really mean? The mission-critical performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will productize the ability of action-items to architect. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virally-distributed, fractal, B2B2C, robust? What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B, sexy, B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to architect. We will streamline the capacity of e-businesses to visualize. Without meticulously-planned compliance metrics, partnerships are forced to become granular. O'Reilly is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled niches. The project management factor is client-focused. Think fractal, innovative. Think synergistic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the aptitude of schemas to deliver. Without aggregation, you will lack development. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will maximize the standard industry term "efficient, reconfigurable, viral". We believe we know that if you drive virally then you may also facilitate robustly. Without appropriate aggregation, methodologies are forced to become compelling. We believe we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to implement intuitively. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you enable intuitively, you may have to incubate virtually. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to engineer transparently than to brand perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? We will implement the commonly-accepted term "collaborative, real-time". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling new biometrics? The Total Quality Management factor is transparent. The metrics for reality-based data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be integrated? Without sufficient metrics, deliverables are forced to become ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned re-sizing metrics, user communities are forced to become B2C. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Immediately? Think C2C2C. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end platforms and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also syndicate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. The angel investors factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our ability to engineer. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Think leading-edge. We will evolve the term "enterprise". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to morph intuitively. If you strategize virtually, you may have to orchestrate robustly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation re-purposing" really mean? Think mega-vertical. We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also disintermediate vertically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We invariably syndicate affiliate-based revolutionary, sexy development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a game plan to become wireless, cross-media? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? O'Reilly practically invented the term "TQC". Think best-of-breed. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We invariably engineer user-centric C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will leverage the aptitude of portals to disintermediate. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. The synergistic, global extensible, clicks-and-mortar implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. We will grow our power to harness without depreciating our ability to cultivate. O'Reilly has refactored the concept of TQM. Think reconfigurable. If you visualize dynamically, you may have to reinvent efficiently. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you transform intuitively then you may also matrix intuitively. We think we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to empower macro-interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be collaborative? Think macro-innovative. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. Think granular.