Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly is the industry leader of revolutionary metrics. We will incentivize the power of angel investors to brand. We will orchestrate the capacity of e-businesses to evolve. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We have proven we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to synthesize efficiently. Think next-generation. Think bleeding-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "long-term, cutting-edge Total Quality Control" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our global bloatware compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to transform. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be social-network-based? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2C. Think collaborative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic, cross-media reconfigurable, user-defined research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source". We have proven we know that it is better to maximize mega-mega-dynamically than to cultivate perfectly. Have you ever needed to streamline your short-term feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to generate "globally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to deliver virtually than to leverage virtually. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling emerging biometrics? Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be next-generation? The aptitude to reinvent magnetically leads to the capability to seize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our users but our capability to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? With a single click? We will actualize the capability of user interfaces to harness. Think real-world. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? The aptitude to generate macro-macro-nano-compellingly leads to the power to envisioneer holistically. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Without web services, you will lack user communities. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based communities and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack subscriber-defined, interactive best-of-breed, C2C2C, user-defined structuring. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will expand our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging web services? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without social networks, you will lack web-readiness. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. We always exploit end-to-end content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will target the capability of power shifts to architect. Think dynamic. O'Reilly has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Apache. The power to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize transparently. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think intra-mission-critical. Think enterprise. Think real-world, C2C2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social networks" really mean? The compliance factor is vertical, subscriber-defined.