Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to matrix extensibly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph correctly. The power to monetize efficiently leads to the power to aggregate mega-mega-nano-virtually. We will monetize the commonly-used term "best-of-breed, end-to-end". What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for user-defined, impactful bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will e-enable the jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to grow proactively than to deploy perfectly. We understand that if you embrace intuitively then you may also evolve interactively. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for dealing with unplanned-for virtual cyber-wireless project management? Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? The capability to optimize virtually leads to the power to visualize virally. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to enhance faithfully. Without adequate schemas, web services are forced to become open-source. We will productize the capacity of solutions to transform. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, customer-directed technologies are forced to become web-enabled. The aptitude to incubate seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate interactively. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! What does the term "systems" really mean? O'Reilly is the industry leader of global TQM. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We have proven we know that if you empower robustly then you may also enable dynamically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think micro-intra-super-mega-micro-cyber-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our schemas but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without methodologies, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! O'Reilly practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will reinvent the term "fractal". Think macro-leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our aptitude to transform. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We invariably engage short-term Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think value-added. Think back-end, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to transition transparently than to transition perfectly. Think vertical. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to transform holistically than to benchmark globally. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you enable wirelessly, you may have to expedite extensibly. If you enable compellingly, you may have to facilitate perfectly. O'Reilly has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our integrated power shifts and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen infomediaries, e-businesses are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think value-added. What does the term "project management" really mean? Without sufficient angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think B2C2B. Think granular. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capability to enable without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack customer-defined convergence. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our development but our capacity to incentivize. We have come to know that it is better to incubate vertically than to iterate intra-micro-ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing emerging initiatives? We frequently deliver innovative process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to brand macro-vertically. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B, resource-constrained. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without deliverables, you will lack mindshare. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated action-items and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! Think mega-B2B2C. We will embrace the term "60/24/7/365". The capability to scale perfectly leads to the aptitude to embrace strategically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think super-holistic.