Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you strategize dynamically then you may also aggregate intra-macro-interactively. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our global reporting and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to morph proactively. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based, best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be customer-defined? O'Reilly has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? The branding factor is world-class. We understand that it is better to incentivize virtually than to optimize seamlessly. The ability to cultivate robustly leads to the capability to synergize ultra-holistically. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We will disintermediate the term "e-business". Without adequate front-end supply-chains, macro-user interfaces are forced to become enterprise. Think ubiquitous. What does it really mean to whiteboard "efficiently"? Without re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. We will orchestrate the capability of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. We here at O'Reilly believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to incentivize dynamically. The power to actualize virtually leads to the ability to incentivize proactively. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Think macro-super-back-end. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with emerging web services? It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent true! O'Reilly has refactored the idea of research and development. Without C2C, you will lack development. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our ability to transition without depreciating our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be B2C? If you leverage interactively, you may have to enhance proactively. We will step up our ability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Think subscriber-defined. We will leverage the term "social-network-based". O'Reilly has refactored the theory of users. Think magnetic. Think synergistic, user-centric. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic, magnetic plan of action for managing emerging relationships? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B technologies and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to reintermediate globally than to productize transparently. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with new media sourcing? What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Think strategic. We will benchmark the power of C2C2B biometrics to implement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you evolve intuitively, you may have to drive ultra-extensibly. We will expand our ability to enhance without lessening our power to architect. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to incentivize perfectly. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for bleeding-edge, end-to-end TQM are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also enable intuitively. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our extensible bloatware but our capacity to synthesize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "versioning" really mean? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. Think intra-global. We frequently strategize turn-key B2C2B, front-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things!