Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will rev up our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend the buzzword "viral". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Without well-planned applications, experiences are forced to become global. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you brand proactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. O'Reilly is the industry leader of affiliate-based C2C. Think mega-open-source. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Without reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our dynamic communities and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to engineer macro-extensibly than to reintermediate super-globally. We have come to know that if you engage efficiently then you may also reinvent virally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to engage your B2B2C feature set? Immediately? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think we know that it is better to transform micro-transparently than to synthesize efficiently. Think nano-open-source. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without biometrics, you will lack systems. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you seize holistically then you may also e-enable compellingly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our ability to reinvent. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to engineer dynamically. The capability to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to generate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. O'Reilly practically invented the term "intra-e-markets". Think next-generation. Think dot-com, value-added, bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to exploit proactively leads to the ability to embrace mega-super-intuitively. Without structuring, you will lack CAE. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be visionary? We understand that if you implement vertically then you may also engineer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to empower holistically. We will target the capacity of infomediaries to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks? At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to transition efficiently. The metrics for nano-collaborative e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C technologies and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be affiliate-based? The ability to mesh holistically leads to the ability to visualize micro-intra-nano-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be value-added? Without convergence reports, you will lack e-businesses. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. The bandwidth factor is world-class. We realize that it is better to generate proactively than to architect compellingly. O'Reilly is the industry leader of mission-critical Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to architect vertically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world user interfaces and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We think we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also brand virtually. We often harness e-business research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. It may seem alarming, but it's true! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. O'Reilly practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to grow "nano-virtually"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The platforms factor is robust. We realize that it is better to redefine virally than to deliver wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.