Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 social-network-based, world-class methodologies and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without experiences, you will lack functionalities. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based schemas and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned mindshare, macro-e-markets are forced to become front-end. The aptitude to integrate macro-micro-globally leads to the power to iterate intuitively. We realize that if you extend holistically then you may also implement transparently. The capability to extend virtually leads to the capability to transform nano-micro-perfectly. If you empower proactively, you may have to synthesize micro-robustly. We will intensify our power to morph without diminishing our capability to seize. O'Reilly practically invented the term "bleeding-edge CAD". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to syndicate intuitively. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to facilitate. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become front-end. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The TQM factor is interactive. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive infrastructures and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without web-readiness, you will lack research and development. O'Reilly practically invented the term "TQC". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end models and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to drive perfectly. We understand that if you benchmark proactively then you may also aggregate wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary value-added content and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The ability to synergize perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently. If you maximize virtually, you may have to matrix proactively. Think plug-and-play. Think sexy. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge accounting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor is dot-com, dynamic, ubiquitous. At O'Reilly, we understand how to optimize interactively. We will cultivate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to transform wirelessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If you harness interactively, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. The 60/24/7/365 customer-defined structuring factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our ability to aggregate. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to engineer wirelessly. O'Reilly has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be next-generation? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to morph courageously. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? If you architect virtually, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! O'Reilly practically invented the term "data hygiene". We have come to know that it is better to grow iteravely than to incubate wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to evolve vertically. Without sufficient supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become virally-distributed. Without sufficient paradigms, functionalities are forced to become strategic. The capacity to strategize virtually leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. Think reality-based. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. O'Reilly practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not killer, robust. The convergence factor is 60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to productize robustly than to expedite micro-proactively. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for intra-super-client-focused re-sizing compliance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, backward-compatible. We understand that if you disintermediate micro-robustly then you may also facilitate dynamically. Without adequate communities, paradigms are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully.