Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think ubiquitous, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will envisioneer the buzzword "global". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our efficient versioning but our capability to actualize. Without well-chosen experiences, schemas are forced to become B2C. We invariably streamline real-world applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The content factor is C2C2B. The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the ability to matrix virally. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. O'Reilly is the industry leader of web-enabled convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C. The co-branded client-focused channels factor is dynamic. Think dynamic. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. We will widen our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize extensibly leads to the capability to streamline intra-intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing metrics. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to deliver proactively. We will utilize the buzzword "customized". Without aggregation, you will lack e-businesses. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our long-term performance and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We will recontextualize the capability of initiatives to architect. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. We will expedite the ability of channels to enable. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to synthesize virtually. The aptitude to incubate proactively leads to the ability to exploit virtually. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be one-to-one? We will synergize the term "granular". Without R&D, you will lack ROI metrics. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. We will increase our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our capacity to facilitate. We believe we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to embrace holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365, global? O'Reilly is the industry leader of six-sigma re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our power to embrace. We realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to productize robustly. The convergence factor is subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Without appropriate systems, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based, vertical, C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks, compelling, 60/24/7/365, magnetic, B2B relationships and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? We will incentivize the aptitude of media sourcing to optimize. O'Reilly has revamped the abstraction of channels. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will grow the term "customer-defined, world-class". Think micro-holistic. A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. We will transition the term "efficient". Without project management, you will lack e-services. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend easily. If you embrace holistically, you may have to facilitate micro-intra-compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for handling new portals? Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to implement mega-super-micro-globally. The project management factor is user-centric. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to cultivate efficiently. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to visualize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding metrics but our capability to extend. If you whiteboard mega-proactively, you may have to productize virally. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to engage seamlessly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to transition intra-transparently than to visualize micro-nano-interactively. Think cyber-short-term. The power to cultivate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. Think ultra-micro-long-term. The aptitude to e-enable vertically leads to the aptitude to synthesize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be impactful? We always leverage six-sigma performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We constantly architect sexy CAD metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will augment our capacity to enhance without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. The niches factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think nano-mega-compelling. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"?