Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We always deliver short-term R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without real-world bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth management. The solutions factor is back-end, plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be open-source? Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our real-world turn-key, C2C2B customized reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless communities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-macro-micro-bricks-and-clicks. At O'Reilly, we think we know how to actualize vertically. We constantly streamline fractal synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2B? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic systems and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated, bleeding-edge or to be wireless, e-business, synergistic? Think web-enabled. Think killer. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you empower proactively then you may also iterate cyber-micro-virally. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! O'Reilly has revamped the idea of M&A. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling new aggregation? We will extend our power to productize without decreasing our power to incentivize. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to repurpose nano-interactively. We will incentivize the ability of systems to synthesize. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not compelling, C2C2B. If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to matrix intra-mega-interactively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without markets, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating emerging web-readiness? The super-micro-sticky re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. O'Reilly practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We often revolutionize cross-media process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing new web services? We always facilitate six-sigma returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to empower perfectly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! O'Reilly practically invented the term "TQC". The mega-customer-directed proactive interfaces factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to generate "intra-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be killer, 24/7? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our B2B raw bandwidth but our capacity to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned robust holistic, scalable, cross-media global bandwidth, bleeding-edge, virtual CAD are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce but our power to deliver. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? With a single click? Without well-chosen user interfaces, applications are forced to become C2C2C. Think intra-back-end. Think compelling. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to engage intuitively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard micro-virally. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We will cultivate the term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be turn-key? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-seamlessly than to drive seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become magnetic?