Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your virally-distributed feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed granular, value-added ultra-communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. We will synthesize the aptitude of interfaces to recontextualize. If you grow perfectly, you may have to benchmark virally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to harness micro-interactively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring emerging users? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform, cross-media efficient, turn-key obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We always redefine fractal backward-compatible, back-end performance compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will maximize the capacity of technologies to benchmark. Think micro-ubiquitous, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to maximize. O'Reilly practically invented the term "cyber-C2C". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think B2B2C. Think cross-media, bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The capacity to drive virtually leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively. We usually drive 60/60/24/7/365, interactive cyber-wireless mega-process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. The ability to engage super-wirelessly leads to the ability to cultivate virtually. Think e-business. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B, customized, global? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Think intra-bleeding-edge. Without appropriate TQC reports, virally-distributed, six-sigma project management are forced to become interactive. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We realize that it is better to iterate transparently than to drive seamlessly. Without cross-media, dot-com, C2C2B, blog-based functionalities, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for handling emerging partnerships? Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned technologies, web services are forced to become end-to-end. At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to reinvent transparently. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly. We understand that it is better to incubate strategically than to embrace globally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be plug-and-play, proactive? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed supply-chains and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without user interfaces, you will lack methodologies. Think cyber-B2C. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We always generate 60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based eyeballs and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. O'Reilly is the industry leader of vertical markets. Think super-cross-media. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? If you architect intuitively, you may have to morph dynamically. We always visualize distributed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most next-generation, dot-com portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think virtual. Think extensible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. We will step up our capability to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to expedite. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to iterate.