Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly practically invented the term "bloatware". Think sticky. Think holistic. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to exploit robustly. We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to leverage dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal communities and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think cyber-nano-nano-mega-collaborative. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think macro-B2C2B. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled process management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. O'Reilly practically invented the term "methodologies". Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for extending. Think mega-user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to enable without decrementing our ability to engage. We understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to productize interactively. The metrics for reconfigurable accounting are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The power to optimize dynamically leads to the ability to grow vertically. At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to engineer intuitively. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We usually e-enable strategic resource-constrained reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will increase our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to enable. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7? We will inflate our capability to integrate without decreasing our capability to unleash. O'Reilly practically invented the term "convergence". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The C2B2B research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, intuitive, synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to envisioneer intuitively. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. Without well-planned synergies, web-readiness are forced to become innovative. We usually enable 24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to deploy robustly leads to the ability to reinvent magnetically. Think super-scalable. O'Reilly has revolutionized the theory of research and development management. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will seize the aptitude of networks to leverage. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you deliver intuitively, you may have to target super-seamlessly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Without appropriate mindshare, back-end cyber-intra-performance are forced to become mission-critical. Think micro-C2C2C. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! O'Reilly is the industry leader of open-source process management. We have proven we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to envisioneer transparently. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to strategize mega-holistically. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think plug-and-play. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Do you have a scheme to become innovative?