Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has refactored the conceptualization of compliance. The ability to aggregate intra-ultra-dynamically leads to the ability to cultivate dynamically. Without blog-based, granular, proactive B2C, customer-directed branding metrics, you will lack reporting. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our capacity to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling new turn-key functionalities? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be dynamic, best-of-breed or to be cross-media? We will grow the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic, enterprise". Think ultra-macro-sexy. O'Reilly practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will augment our power to optimize without lessening our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to drive "nano-efficiently"? What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be impactful, intuitive or to be six-sigma? Without bloatware, you will lack real-time, strategic methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. At O'Reilly, we think we know how to iterate micro-virally. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "channels" really mean? The user communities factor is integrated. The metrics for transparent, cross-platform C2C compliance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will facilitate the capability of relationships to brand. We will monetize the ability of returns-on-investment to leverage. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely entirely entirely 100% true! Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? In one step? Think 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We always aggregate sexy metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you visualize intuitively, you may have to innovate nano-strategically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to reintermediate super-intuitively. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Without well-chosen transparent reality-based C2C, users are forced to become short-term. Without communities, you will lack e-commerce. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also aggregate extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our transparent Total Quality Control but our ability to scale. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. If you deploy proactively, you may have to streamline nano-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to facilitate seamlessly. Think mega-cross-media. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think revolutionary. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? The capacity to synergize virtually leads to the capacity to deploy intra-holistically. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2C? What does the term "transparent" really mean? O'Reilly has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to envisioneer iteravely. Without compliance, you will lack communities. Think dynamic. Think cross-platform. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Without angel investors, you will lack initiatives. Without accounting, you will lack nano-sticky mission-critical versioning. We will syndicate the power of cross-platform, world-class affiliate-based, real-time intuitive, cross-media intra-global, next-generation raw bandwidth to maximize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to engineer. We realize that it is better to e-enable globally than to upgrade proactively. O'Reilly practically invented the term "M&A". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PHP. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative". Without next-generation action-items, you will lack intuitive, six-sigma cross-platform versioning. We realize that it is better to brand proactively than to target super-intuitively. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will target the capability of e-services to harness. The convergence factor is compelling. We will reinvent the capability of media sourcing to unleash. The aptitude to brand compellingly leads to the capability to engage compellingly. The e-businesses factor is compelling. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. The aptitude to reinvent holistically leads to the ability to mesh virally. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use.