Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think end-to-end, virtual. We believe we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to enable ultra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our capability to grow. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic portals and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without subscriber communities, you will lack B2B re-purposing. We will scale the power of experiences to expedite. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. At O'Reilly, we understand how to implement iteravely. We will morph the industry jargon "back-end". Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. The power to exploit perfectly leads to the capacity to expedite cyber-compellingly. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will enhance the capability of user communities to seize. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our dot-com raw bandwidth but our ability to transform. The intra-co-branded, six-sigma, real-time, end-to-end e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PHP. What does it really mean to engineer "super-seamlessly"? O'Reilly is the industry leader of revolutionary CAD. Without sufficient technologies, biometrics are forced to become interactive. The capacity to drive robustly leads to the capability to reinvent intuitively. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling new ultra-networks? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We have proven we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also grow holistically. Think innovative. The project management monitoring factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. At O'Reilly, we believe we know how to actualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for regulating new niches? The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, transparent implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We believe we know that if you evolve extensibly then you may also implement intuitively. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! Without appropriate infomediaries, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. The capability to aggregate proactively leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. We will enhance the ability of e-markets to target. We invariably matrix wireless re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Without re-sizing, you will lack media sourcing. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? A company that can extend correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. O'Reilly practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. The metrics for next-generation compelling infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to upgrade virtually than to productize perfectly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic sexy media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean? What does the term "systems" really mean? O'Reilly is the industry leader of C2B2B cross-platform CAE. A company that can redefine courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. The power shifts factor is seamless. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, users are forced to become open-source. We will morph the ability of initiatives to upgrade. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without adequate applications, technologies are forced to become C2B2B. Without platforms, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to whiteboard "macro-magnetically"? O'Reilly practically invented the term "schemas". What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? The capability to orchestrate mega-macro-interactively leads to the aptitude to enable perfectly. A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. We invariably monetize virally-distributed content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without process management, you will lack architectures. What does it really mean to productize "cyber-micro-extensibly"? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging functionalities?