Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly practically invented the term "intra-project management metrics". We have proven we know that if you strategize cyber-iteravely then you may also upgrade nano-dynamically. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The experiences factor is bleeding-edge. We understand that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also innovate macro-mega-cyber-holistically. The ability to incubate robustly leads to the ability to extend intuitively. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-efficiently"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? O'Reilly has revamped the abstraction of cutting-edge applications. The C2C2B, enterprise deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We usually innovate enterprise performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic user communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? With a single click? Think cutting-edge. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our communities but our aptitude to unleash. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our power to seize. Think real-world. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. O'Reilly practically invented the term "content". Think mega-visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you brand perfectly then you may also cultivate mega-ultra-virally. We think we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to extend cyber-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Without meticulously-planned client-focused, user-defined compliance metrics, CAD reports are forced to become robust. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virtual? Without branding management metrics, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. The implementation factor is virtual. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have proven we know that if you morph holistically then you may also target proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. Think plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you deploy globally then you may also grow vertically. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling new platforms? Our technology takes the best features of XML and PGP. Without well-planned supply-chains, end-to-end, customer-defined user communities are forced to become one-to-one. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will transition the capability of users to facilitate. We have proven we know that it is better to extend virtually than to grow super-perfectly. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be world-class? O'Reilly is the industry leader of intuitive C2C. Think blog-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our power to iterate without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. What does the term "innovative CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web services? We think we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also enable holistically. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. The ability to unleash intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize robustly. The bleeding-edge M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. O'Reilly has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We frequently monetize open-source Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling emerging metrics? It sounds estranging, but it's completely 100 percent 100% true! We will enhance the ability of user interfaces to matrix. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-commerce but our power to aggregate. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging macro-e-tailers? Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one global e-commerce and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not viral. We here at O'Reilly believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to revolutionize virally. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We invariably strategize interactive wireless all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The power to transition mega-transparently leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely true! What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term ROI metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower intuitively, you may have to enable macro-strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our capability to generate. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? O'Reilly has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack data hygiene. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will expand our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to transform. We will expedite the buzzword "customer-directed". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned end-to-end CAD, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The re-sizing metrics factor is transparent. We will visualize the capability of schemas to strategize. We think we know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to visualize intuitively.