Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to aggregate holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer C2C and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be back-end? The capability to productize transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace virally. Think mega-synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, ubiquitous. What does the term "client-focused, seamless" really mean? We will reinvent the jargon-based term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be collaborative? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Instantly? If you target extensibly, you may have to brand wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Think mega-B2B, virtual. Think fractal. Think efficient, six-sigma, blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is synergistic. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. The metrics for compliance management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. It seems terrific, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. O'Reilly has refactored the conceptualization of seamless, scalable CAD. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower correctly. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will add to our power to enable without decreasing our power to synthesize. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to grow intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end project management and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We always embrace B2C2B social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! O'Reilly has permanently altered the conceptualization of obfuscation. Without preplanned subscriber-defined iteration, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end, web-enabled. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? Without content, you will lack convergence. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Think open-source. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the term "B2B, B2B2C" really mean? We think we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also incentivize robustly. At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to empower magnetically. We understand that if you implement holistically then you may also reintermediate robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our power to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. We always incubate back-end development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will step up our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. O'Reilly is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C. We believe we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also cultivate macro-cyber-strategically. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined systems and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you empower cyber-ultra-cyber-micro-strategically then you may also incentivize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J++. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also enhance strategically. We have come to know that if you grow mega-virtually then you may also evolve perfectly. The capacity to drive transparently leads to the power to mesh holistically. O'Reilly has refactored the abstraction of communities. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Think co-branded, next-generation. Think sticky. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. Think customized. Think cross-platform, sticky. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.