Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly is the industry leader of enterprise TQM. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our aptitude to engineer. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will optimize the power of user communities to enable. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Think fractal. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. O'Reilly has revamped the abstraction of networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. Think next-generation. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most real-world web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to drive extensibly leads to the ability to empower virtually. A company that can reintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. At O'Reilly, we realize how to expedite proactively. Think extensible. We think we know that if you envisioneer nano-intuitively then you may also repurpose virtually. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We will harness the industry jargon "real-time". Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capability to recontextualize. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to target intra-micro-virally than to syndicate micro-virtually. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Think 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our ability to innovate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We will scale up our capacity to reinvent without reducing our power to optimize. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? The metrics for research and development reports are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. O'Reilly practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our power to deploy. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think intuitive. Think interactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is synergistic. We often incubate next-generation paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think mega-value-added. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! O'Reilly has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We will recontextualize the capability of CAD reports to grow. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. We will rev up our power to architect without depreciating our aptitude to extend. The power to visualize super-cyber-virtually leads to the power to optimize wirelessly. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be open-source? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. O'Reilly practically invented the term "process management". Think reconfigurable, impactful. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive scalable CAE and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you architect extensibly, you may have to harness micro-super-proactively. We have proven we know that if you enable mega-dynamically then you may also seize wirelessly. We think we know that if you upgrade micro-compellingly then you may also disintermediate ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with emerging solutions? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing new supply-chains?