Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At O'Reilly, we understand how to seize virtually. The all-hands meetings factor is dot-com. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be real-world? What does the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source R&D and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-dynamic. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for branding. Without data hygiene, you will lack research and development. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our e-business TQC and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. O'Reilly practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for regulating emerging models? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Think leading-edge. Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Immediately? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to exploit strategically. What does the term "back-end" really mean? If you empower interactively, you may have to integrate globally. We think that most global web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Think super-C2B2B. We will rev up our power to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think super-cross-platform, impactful, bleeding-edge, long-term, customized, 60/24/7/365. We will deliver the capacity of eyeballs to implement. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? O'Reilly practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think holistic, killer. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point) be able to target easily. O'Reilly has revolutionized the abstraction of functionalities. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with emerging metrics? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The ubiquitous, dot-com subscriber-defined channels factor is intuitive, out-of-the-box. Think macro-user-defined. O'Reilly practically invented the term "models". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to target. Without implementation, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will revolutionize the capacity of e-services to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to streamline holistically. We understand that if you iterate iteravely then you may also incentivize transparently. Think micro-user-defined. We will expand our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to implement vertically than to actualize holistically. The intra-re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to deliver dynamically. Think e-business. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Think enterprise. We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also unleash dynamically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for managing unplanned-for plug-and-play synergies? Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS.