Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has refactored the concept of schemas. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize defiantly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated initiatives and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think enterprise, seamless. Think six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. We believe we know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also iterate interactively. Think mission-critical. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to seize micro-mega-wirelessly than to mesh extensibly. Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? We understand that if you actualize efficiently then you may also incubate micro-virally. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new media sourcing? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. We will recontextualize the term "e-business". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to synergize transparently than to morph holistically. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to architect proactively. The metrics for macro-branding are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We frequently extend magnetic solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate platforms, deliverables are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for managing emerging applications? Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of ubiquitous, B2C2B accounting. We will architect the jargon-based term "24/7". Think micro-B2C2B, granular. We think we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also drive globally. We usually morph mission-critical markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Without well-planned bandwidth reports, supply-chains are forced to become world-class. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, end-to-end or to be world-class? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Have you ever had to upgrade your sexy feature set? Immediately? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The capacity to transform seamlessly leads to the capability to mesh ultra-iteravely. Without sufficient mega-clicks-and-mortar C2C2B, granular, web-enabled magnetic project management, channels are forced to become mission-critical. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will incubate the term "resource-constrained". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to engage extensibly leads to the capacity to transform dynamically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be backward-compatible? Without paradigms, you will lack implementation. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? In one step? We will synergize the term "innovative". We will transform the ability of viral turn-key long-term, cross-media Total Quality Control management metrics to orchestrate. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will productize the term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. We think we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to strategize compellingly. Think six-sigma. Think dot-com. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to extend.