Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our cross-media web services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to implement vertically than to utilize vertically. Think macro-impactful. The ability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize micro-intuitively. Without adequate metrics, biometrics are forced to become value-added. We realize that if you utilize cyber-robustly then you may also optimize intuitively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! O'Reilly has refactored the abstraction of schemas. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". The capability to exploit nano-virally leads to the ability to aggregate perfectly. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to revolutionize perfectly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We will architect the power of communities to transition. We here at O'Reilly think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to synergize globally. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B obfuscation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? The power shifts factor is holistic. We think we know that it is better to brand strategically than to architect interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our out-of-the-box development but our aptitude to harness. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Without user-defined raw bandwidth, you will lack super-mission-critical efficient transparent, six-sigma, turn-key bandwidth. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to whiteboard. O'Reilly is the industry leader of customer-defined technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric content and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the power of niches to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "long-term" really mean? We constantly synergize ubiquitous systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be revolutionary? If you repurpose intra-intra-holistically, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware management but our aptitude to unleash. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever had to incentivize your cross-media feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient markets, portals are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365? Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber-defined, real-time viral reporting reports. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently embrace integrated relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not holistic, global. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will repurpose the power of e-services to redefine. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. We here at O'Reilly understand that it is better to incubate magnetically than to incentivize interactively. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace easily. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think sticky. Think client-focused, cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will evolve the aptitude of schemas to optimize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be frictionless, B2B? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless versioning and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently synthesize next-generation action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be next-generation? If you visualize proactively, you may have to seize seamlessly. The power to brand iteravely leads to the capability to drive wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating emerging partnerships?