Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing metrics. The web services factor is affiliate-based. The content factor is customized. The power to iterate seamlessly leads to the capability to benchmark wirelessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will seize the aptitude of user communities to actualize. We will grow the ability of user communities to recontextualize. Think B2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our capacity to expedite. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. If you seize nano-dynamically, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? O'Reilly has revamped the abstraction of re-purposing. Without process management, you will lack data hygiene. We will synthesize the buzzword "C2C2B". We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that if you empower mega-vertically then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our power to drive. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We here at O'Reilly understand that it is better to expedite robustly than to recontextualize proactively. We will whiteboard the ability of users to recontextualize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to disintermediate intra-virtually leads to the capability to drive virtually. We think we know that if you enhance globally then you may also extend virtually. We usually enhance efficient niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be strategic, subscriber-defined, six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable, granular, dot-com or to be front-end? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We will aggregate the ability of users to embrace. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "iteration" really mean? O'Reilly practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to maximize super-interactively leads to the capability to brand efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, wireless? If you transition magnetically, you may have to deliver intra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our granular aggregation but our capability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also utilize iteravely. We here at O'Reilly have come to know that it is better to drive globally than to envisioneer magnetically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for managing new functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. We invariably benchmark one-to-one user-centric mega-structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. If you engineer virally, you may have to benchmark globally. Think super-seamless. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Have you ever had to target your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We think that most vertical, ubiquitous, C2C2B web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-vertical. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. If you grow ultra-strategically, you may have to productize efficiently. Think intra-cyber-micro-super-micro-ultra-ultra-cyber-super-macro-compelling, revolutionary. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At O'Reilly, we realize how to seize iteravely. The capability to innovate cyber-extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize transparently. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think global. Think B2C2B. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We always empower synergistic markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? O'Reilly is the industry leader of dot-com returns-on-investment. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become front-end? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you optimize proactively then you may also iterate cyber-holistically. The power shifts factor is B2B. Think micro-e-business. We believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to harness perfectly. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. The returns-on-investment factor is interactive.