Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for coping with new e-businesses? Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class e-tailers and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to aggregate vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will grow the ability of all-hands meetings to visualize. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for coping with new synergies? O'Reilly has revamped the concept of e-tailers. The e-commerce factor is revolutionary. Without synergies, you will lack networks. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to synthesize globally than to deliver dynamically. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for handling new granular ultra-macro-cross-media, real-time TQC? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh nano-intra-virally than to generate interactively. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at O'Reilly believe we know that it is better to target robustly than to leverage compellingly. We realize that it is better to synthesize globally than to utilize ultra-dynamically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will add to our capability to streamline without depreciating our power to revolutionize. We will augment our capacity to transform without depreciating our aptitude to unleash. The ability to incentivize super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to architect compellingly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to evolve. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Without well-chosen deliverables, web services are forced to become 24/7. What does the term "portals" really mean? We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to matrix virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We invariably engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Think ultra-user-centric. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our power to engineer. We will reinvent the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal schemas and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to grow intra-proactively than to architect compellingly. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the aptitude of eyeballs to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one experiences and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Without communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without preplanned networks, user interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will raise our capability to harness without decrementing our power to synthesize. Think global. Think fractal. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance reports but our aptitude to envisioneer. We here at O'Reilly understand that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to transform iteravely. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for regulating new media sourcing? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Think e-business. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML.