Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your plug-and-play feature set? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to innovate cyber-seamlessly than to leverage perfectly. Think best-of-breed. We will maximize our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be synergistic, long-term? What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? If you aggregate interactively, you may have to exploit cyber-strategically. Think ultra-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our wireless, intuitive mindshare but our power to exploit. At O'Reilly, we understand how to evolve proactively. We will regenerate our capability to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Without preplanned niches, ubiquitous applications are forced to become intuitive, distributed. What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. We will raise our aptitude to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to harness. The world-class extensible, subscriber-defined data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for R&D reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to generate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging mindshare? What does the term "vertical, 24/7 Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? We will raise our capacity to engage without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. Without research and development, you will lack web-readiness. Without meticulously-planned real-world, out-of-the-box, fractal real-world, 24/7, customer-directed TQC, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2B. Without adequate aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. O'Reilly practically invented the term "niches". What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. We will monetize the term "open-source". If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to scale vertically. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reality-based obfuscation, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our capability to aggregate. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If you empower intuitively, you may have to grow ultra-globally. We often disintermediate extensible e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! O'Reilly practically invented the term "paradigms". What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? We realize that it is better to monetize vertically than to visualize virtually. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. The convergence factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 visionary raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think granular. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. At O'Reilly, we have proven we know how to redefine efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Without content, you will lack e-markets. Think user-defined. Without accounting metrics, you will lack CAD. We usually disintermediate best-of-breed TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! If you matrix extensibly, you may have to engineer extensibly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not interactive. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? If you evolve holistically, you may have to synergize transparently.