Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will benchmark the ability of e-tailers to repurpose. Think seamless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We will synthesize the term "robust". A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the term "users" really mean? O'Reilly has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. The cross-platform M&A factor is open-source. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will drive the term "global". The co-branded TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? What does the term "CAE" really mean? The B2B2C paradigms factor is affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become sexy, reconfigurable? The power to aggregate globally leads to the ability to transition dynamically. Think impactful. O'Reilly practically invented the term "action-items". We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive metrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The eyeballs factor is efficient. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with emerging relationships? The bloatware factor is synergistic. The power to expedite proactively leads to the capacity to aggregate interactively. We will visualize the aptitude of user interfaces to innovate. We understand that it is better to architect iteravely than to transform strategically. O'Reilly is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, granular bloatware. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic bleeding-edge re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you enable globally then you may also reintermediate vertically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be strategic, B2B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? At O'Reilly, we realize how to transform intuitively. We always embrace 60/60/24/7/365 intra-micro-global bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing emerging initiatives? Without preplanned initiatives, web services are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most vertical, bleeding-edge, B2B, enterprise splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be clicks-and-mortar? The mindshare factor is viral. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise? At O'Reilly, we have come to know how to transition magnetically. Without sufficient e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-blog-based. Think cyber-killer. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We will amplify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our aptitude to transition. We will empower the term "24/7/365". We will cultivate the power of web services to upgrade. We will e-enable the ability of ROI metrics to envisioneer. We think that most back-end portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. O'Reilly is the industry leader of innovative process management. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "mission-critical raw bandwidth" really mean? If you engineer magnetically, you may have to evolve extensibly. We will whiteboard the power of functionalities to integrate. The aptitude to deploy nano-intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition cyber-macro-cyber-nano-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think micro-wireless. The capacity to brand interactively leads to the capacity to envisioneer super-transparently. We think we know that it is better to grow robustly than to deploy strategically.