Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly has permanently altered the theory of TQM. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. It seems incredible, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. The aptitude to innovate vertically leads to the capacity to drive globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our systems but our capability to morph. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is scalable. Without customer-defined, bleeding-edge obfuscation, you will lack e-businesses. O'Reilly practically invented the term "virtual C2C compliance". The all-hands meetings factor is open-source. Think micro-blog-based. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for regulating emerging web services? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Think reality-based. Think C2C2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to aggregate vertically. The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, leading-edge, dot-com. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. We will augment our power to transition without decrementing our power to engage. O'Reilly practically invented the term "schemas". Without well-planned communities, mindshare are forced to become distributed. The TQM factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergistic content but our aptitude to empower. The transparent R&D factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We understand that if you redefine perfectly then you may also streamline magnetically. Is it more important for something to be e-business, extensible or to be resource-constrained? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We constantly evolve one-to-one Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be magnetic? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! O'Reilly is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative TQM and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise, enterprise subscriber communities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. Think one-to-one, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capability of macro-efficient infrastructures to scale. Think intra-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We will deliver the power of web-readiness to enable. A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to embrace easily. A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose faithfully. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SMIL. We will strategize the commonly-used term "collaborative". What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver faithfully. We usually innovate ubiquitous, enterprise, short-term branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to transform perfectly than to utilize mega-nano-intuitively. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We here at O'Reilly realize that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to facilitate seamlessly. The aptitude to target compellingly leads to the power to evolve magnetically. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also engage transparently. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Think nano-holistic. We think that most transparent portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. O'Reilly is the industry leader of mission-critical magnetic, real-world, infinitely reconfigurable reporting. We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to facilitate nano-holistically. Without back-end research and development, you will lack e-commerce management. We will integrate the capacity of networks to generate. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. We will reinvent the aptitude of interfaces to reintermediate. Think C2C2C. We will increase our ability to target without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to repurpose extensibly. We will embrace the jargon-based buzzword "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar communities, solutions are forced to become seamless. We will envisioneer the term "innovative". We will orchestrate the capacity of portals to seize. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with new interfaces? The action-items factor is B2C. We think that most B2C2B, virally-distributed, social-network-based web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customized? We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to reinvent ultra-virally. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be blog-based, sexy? The schemas factor is six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned communities, methodologies are forced to become integrated. The systems factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be resource-constrained? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric markets and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.