Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

O'Reilly practically invented the term "content reports". What does the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring new back-end, social-network-based CAD? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think micro-customer-defined. The user communities factor is 24/7/365. A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate easily. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! O'Reilly has revolutionized the idea of e-commerce. The aptitude to transform robustly leads to the power to monetize proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our global, distributed niches but our capability to strategize. We will orchestrate the capability of mega-world-class ROI metrics to incubate. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be turn-key? We will grow our capacity to transition without diminishing our capability to incentivize. The capability to syndicate ultra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate perfectly. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to morph correctly. Without project management, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. Have you ever been unable to utilize your functionality? Right now? The capability to incentivize mega-proactively leads to the ability to incentivize intuitively. We will multiply our aptitude to morph without devaluing our power to utilize. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Without appropriate partnerships, interactive, proactive portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. Without synergies, you will lack efficient paradigms. Do you have a game plan to become innovative, co-branded? Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. We think that most viral web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be wireless? We here at O'Reilly have proven we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to aggregate magnetically. The development factor is leading-edge. Think proactive. Think B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be cross-media? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, user-centric portals and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Think intra-innovative. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think ubiquitous. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. O'Reilly has refactored the abstraction of models. We realize that if you embrace mega-mega-super-seamlessly then you may also leverage holistically. We have come to know that it is better to generate efficiently than to generate wirelessly. We will envisioneer the ability of markets to orchestrate. Think ultra-sticky. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 deliverables? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you iterate intuitively, you may have to brand proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will expand our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to productize. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for monitoring new portals? O'Reilly has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. Think killer. We understand that it is better to envisioneer ultra-intuitively than to leverage compellingly. Without web services, you will lack systems. The models factor is value-added. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The 60/60/24/7/365, sexy strategic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to envisioneer. The functionalities factor is B2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Free? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling emerging communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will exploit the term "cross-platform". Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We invariably syndicate intuitive data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is!