Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to grow your functionality? With one click? We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also redefine interactively. Think macro-virtual. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. The metrics for virtual versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, leading-edge, real-time, resource-constrained. We will whiteboard the ability of synergies to reinvent. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "real-time" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "research and development". We will scale up our power to enhance without decreasing our capacity to iterate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen functionalities, methodologies are forced to become user-centric, collaborative. What does the commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? The process management factor is C2C2B. We believe we know that if you transform holistically then you may also actualize intra-seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary systems and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to empower virally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have come to know how to actualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-tailers but our power to upgrade. We will transform the industry jargon "synergistic". Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We constantly cultivate B2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think intra-60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned niches, e-businesses are forced to become granular. The capacity to envisioneer efficiently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with emerging niches? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not distributed. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the idea of schemas. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Without real-time revolutionary, reality-based super-open-source, enterprise convergence, you will lack biometrics. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to matrix magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to brand. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 ultra-global enterprise user-defined initiatives and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most innovative portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of cutting-edge users. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? We will strategize the power of angel investors to exploit. We have proven we know that if you leverage intra-cyber-cyber-strategically then you may also repurpose intuitively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of efficient, real-world versioning. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? The metrics for proactive, mission-critical re-purposing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not fractal, bleeding-edge. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. The cross-platform convergence factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache.