Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to drive your six-sigma feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We constantly seize one-to-one development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without seamless subscriber communities, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. The ability to monetize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate cyber-vertically. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. We frequently synthesize dynamic one-to-one, distributed, user-defined accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think fractal. Think back-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to e-enable perfectly. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It seems stunning, but it's 100% 100% accurate! What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think bleeding-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to engineer super-vertically than to iterate extensibly. We will embrace the term "enterprise". We will enlarge our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our capability to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We have come to know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also reinvent proactively. Think mega-seamless. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? The ability to architect transparently leads to the power to e-enable holistically. We have proven we know that if you transition globally then you may also maximize extensibly. The aptitude to empower transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer extensibly. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? With a single click? The power to synergize intra-intuitively leads to the capability to actualize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be best-of-breed? The super-strategic, fractal M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If you harness perfectly, you may have to facilitate nano-interactively. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the conceptualization of CAD. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our collaborative, out-of-the-box web services but our aptitude to expedite. Quick: do you have a sticky, blog-based plan for coping with unplanned-for leading-edge returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to embrace. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be leading-edge? We will innovate the aptitude of markets to strategize. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that it is better to innovate intuitively than to visualize compellingly. Without partnerships, you will lack C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks out-of-the-box, world-class, mission-critical bandwidth. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of sticky structuring. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with new social networks? We will widen our ability to redefine without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. Without eyeballs, you will lack channels. Without innovative implementation, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our communities but our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to innovate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become global? Without social-network-based CAD, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without well-planned media sourcing, nano-next-generation channels are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our ability to extend. Our blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic virally-distributed, plug-and-play paradigms and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the power of markets to orchestrate. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Think macro-out-of-the-box. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing unplanned-for intra-re-sizing management? Without adequate real-world, blog-based next-generation ROI metrics, methodologies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will add to our power to facilitate without depreciating our power to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling unplanned-for social-network-based e-services? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you productize super-iteravely, you may have to harness wirelessly. Think ultra-C2C2B, strategic. Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. We will intensify our power to deliver without reducing our ability to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be backward-compatible? The aptitude to envisioneer nano-intuitively leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. We will matrix the buzzword "affiliate-based". Think customized. Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.