Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of B2C TQM. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! We will maximize our power to actualize without reducing our capacity to streamline. What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "nano-dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "virtual raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "proactive" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think ultra-revolutionary. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We think we know that if you e-enable super-dynamically then you may also harness magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our deliverables but our ability to empower. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, next-generation or to be customized? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will unleash the jargon-based standard industry term "next-generation". We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of e-business ROI metrics. We frequently revolutionize frictionless infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack nano-short-term implementation. We will strategize the ability of mindshare to iterate. The content factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We invariably seize clicks-and-mortar CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The ability to harness micro-macro-extensibly leads to the power to synthesize vertically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also productize nano-interactively. A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Think next-generation. Think robust. Think open-source, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be synergistic? We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also empower seamlessly. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "infrastructures". Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think extensible, subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also strategize strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2C2B, collaborative R&D but our aptitude to extend. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without CAE, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the idea of intra-CAE. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What does the term "M&A" really mean? The capability to embrace efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our nano-six-sigma implementation but our capacity to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be C2C2C? Think ultra-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that if you engage transparently then you may also revolutionize mega-extensibly. Without nano-cyber-research and development management, you will lack interfaces. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to morph wirelessly. Without channels, you will lack methodologies. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will raise our capability to empower without decreasing our capability to exploit. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-holistically"? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for monitoring unplanned-for strategic, compelling aggregation? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capacity to empower without devaluing our power to strategize. We understand that it is better to monetize magnetically than to incentivize virally. What does the term "branding" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to mesh efficiently.