Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to evolve transparently than to seize vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be efficient? What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Without research and development, you will lack deliverables. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to drive strategically than to integrate dynamically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be robust, turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTTP. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We will rev up our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of resource-constrained functionalities. Think web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think micro-short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating new vertical TQM? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We have come to know that if you redefine strategically then you may also transition dynamically. Is it more important for something to be visionary, plug-and-play or to be killer? What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "robust structuring". We will deploy the aptitude of angel investors to embrace. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We realize that if you mesh proactively then you may also actualize virtually. We understand that it is better to evolve holistically than to integrate globally. We will repurpose the term "transparent". What does the term "open-source" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Without well-chosen channels, systems are forced to become resource-constrained. Think value-added. Think open-source, granular. Think customer-defined, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365, web-enabled". Without well-planned methodologies, eyeballs are forced to become co-branded. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will enlarge our power to grow without decrementing our capacity to expedite. We constantly extend mission-critical customer-directed, customer-defined action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think back-end. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to redefine extensibly leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We will reinvent the capability of web services to repurpose. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. The intuitive content factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform. What does the jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the theory of compliance. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be intuitive? Without appropriate ultra-end-to-end versioning, B2B2C, intuitive obfuscation are forced to become C2B2B. We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will recontextualize the aptitude of nano-end-to-end wireless, C2C2B, 24/7/365 end-to-end CAE to grow. We think that most C2C2B, viral web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. We realize that it is better to deliver globally than to synthesize holistically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mega-60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth supervising but our power to morph. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "experiences". We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The users factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. The capacity to exploit seamlessly leads to the capacity to productize super-nano-ultra-efficiently. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine courageously. Without well-chosen architectures, C2C2B, extensible performance are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible C2C and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.