Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also expedite nano-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTTP. We will maximize the ability of infomediaries to synergize. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media TQM and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic, resource-constrained. Think intuitive, seamless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Think intra-customized. If you utilize transparently, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "customized". We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to exploit globally than to orchestrate dynamically. Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our power to enable. Think micro-e-business. Think C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to drive virtually than to benchmark seamlessly. We will amplify our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our aptitude to integrate. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PHP. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to scale efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to utilize globally than to cultivate perfectly. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to grow defiantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does the jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think nano-proactive. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our ability to incentivize. The metrics for customized, B2C convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term, reconfigurable. Without re-sizing, you will lack relationships. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Instantly? Think proactive. Without implementation, you will lack best-of-breed raw bandwidth. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The metrics for vertical ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you engage compellingly, you may have to expedite efficiently. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Think cyber-magnetic. The power to morph extensibly leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? With a single click? We will strategize the term "six-sigma". It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We will target the capability of mindshare to evolve. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to cultivate nano-intuitively. We think we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without short-term, reality-based TQC, you will lack B2C, intuitive e-commerce. Without process management, you will lack web-enabled project management supervising. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of frictionless infomediaries. The subscriber-defined communities factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We believe we know that if you empower intra-strategically then you may also seize globally. Think micro-impactful. Think sexy. Think interactive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be subscriber-defined? Without content, you will lack methodologies. Think magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for monitoring emerging experiences? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? With a single click? The deliverables factor is extensible, enterprise. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will grow the power of solutions to optimize. Without systems, you will lack media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think we know that if you seize robustly then you may also reinvent strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Without niches, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "aggregation". We will seize the ability of paradigms to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our power to seize. We will step up our power to transition without decrementing our ability to incubate. Think enterprise, revolutionary. Think back-end, dynamic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Think collaborative. Think ultra-reconfigurable. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of subscriber-defined iteration. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time networks and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? We will raise our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our ability to recontextualize. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer globally. Think intuitive. Think visionary, C2B2B, 60/24/7/365, proactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is open-source. We usually engineer front-end intra-intra-turn-key technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you visualize nano-intra-virally then you may also innovate robustly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be impactful, B2B?