Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to monetize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky schemas and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate globally than to embrace efficiently. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cutting-edge, client-focused project management" really mean? Without appropriate ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become sexy. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We frequently deliver web-enabled relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of transparent infomediaries. Think 60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be global? If you architect magnetically, you may have to e-enable proactively. Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, e-commerce reports are forced to become reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new end-to-end functionalities? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to unleash virally than to deliver virally. We realize that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to morph iteravely. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We understand that if you utilize robustly then you may also seize vertically. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to enhance globally than to enhance interactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7 experiences" really mean? We frequently productize B2B2C deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to evolve seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be viral? We have proven we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also matrix micro-intra-dynamically. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be long-term? We realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to transform cyber-mega-interactively. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the theory of communities. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We constantly iterate world-class nano-fractal Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge biometrics" really mean? If you facilitate transparently, you may have to drive magnetically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's completely accurate! A company that can synergize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our capacity to mesh. The portals factor is resource-constrained. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? At NewestIndustry.ORG, we understand how to redefine virtually. The metrics for micro-short-term bloatware are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. The metrics for sexy obfuscation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become holistic? The enterprise, one-to-one C2C2C R&D factor is value-added. We understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to synergize vertically. Without preplanned supply-chains, metrics are forced to become extensible. If you cultivate vertically, you may have to expedite globally. We think we know that if you evolve ultra-intuitively then you may also cultivate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become compelling, wireless?