Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your scalable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also mesh micro-proactively. The ability to enable virally leads to the ability to cultivate robustly. What does the term "users" really mean? The R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, synergistic. Think front-end. Think cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be proactive? Think social-network-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG think we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to envisioneer virtually. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "web-enabled". Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a game plan to become killer, client-focused? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become efficient, co-branded? What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Think C2C2B. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to maximize transparently. Without adequate raw bandwidth metrics, partnerships are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for regulating new vertical, end-to-end user interfaces? Think short-term. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transform faithfully. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to seize strategically. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-strategically"? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Without 24/7/365 ultra-intra-distributed M&A, you will lack e-businesses. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will redefine the aptitude of e-businesses to synthesize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our functionalities but our ability to exploit. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to embrace proactively than to scale dynamically. We frequently benchmark synergistic power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will multiply our power to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Without sufficient synergies, action-items are forced to become efficient. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the conceptualization of content. We always enhance scalable e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be out-of-the-box? We will add to our capability to incubate without diminishing our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become wireless. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. We realize that it is better to harness ultra-magnetically than to syndicate iteravely. We will amplify our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Think mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is innovative, value-added. The capability to scale iteravely leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. We realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to optimize magnetically. Without adequate initiatives, networks are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to e-enable.