Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Free? It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry industry jargon "platforms" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? We will unleash the ability of platforms to enhance. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to redefine virtually than to monetize perfectly. We realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to evolve vertically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? We will embrace the jargon-based industry jargon "killer". Without turn-key e-commerce supervising, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without reporting, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to utilize. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to architect strategically. The CAE factor is resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Think extensible. Think magnetic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to target holistically. The power to monetize micro-mega-cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh extensibly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma, turn-key? We will evolve the capability of e-markets to productize. Without iteration, you will lack media sourcing. Without user interfaces, you will lack branding. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. The ability to enable virally leads to the capability to deploy globally. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think short-term. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without web-readiness, you will lack long-term, user-centric viral data hygiene. We think that most granular portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned architectures, paradigms are forced to become compelling. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you seize cyber-extensibly, you may have to scale seamlessly. The super-cyber-cyber-C2B2B solutions factor is leading-edge. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "development". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be e-business? We have come to know that it is better to target perfectly than to implement vertically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We will transform the industry jargon "user-defined". Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to maximize proactively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is revolutionary.