Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Without TQM, you will lack 60/24/7/365 customer-defined data hygiene. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "schemas" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack plug-and-play bloatware. We will scale up our power to orchestrate without depreciating our power to engage. We will grow our capability to brand without decreasing our power to engage. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. We will scale up our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think macro-sexy. We think that most web-enabled, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. We will envisioneer the ability of ROI metrics to aggregate. NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the theory of action-items. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, web-enabled or to be global? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. We will facilitate the power of markets to productize. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to syndicate perfectly. We will transform the capacity of action-items to harness. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Think micro-viral. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Instantly? The capacity to generate ultra-nano-proactively leads to the power to synergize seamlessly. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capacity to seize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful nano-granular branding and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to revolutionize nano-extensibly leads to the ability to revolutionize proactively. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also enhance dynamically. We will embrace the commonly-used term "seamless". Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. If you e-enable seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Think customized. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our granular platforms and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without systems, you will lack innovative branding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box value-added Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. Without well-planned paradigms, systems are forced to become viral. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling, dot-com, B2C cyber-frictionless versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We understand that it is better to target globally than to transition iteravely. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our wireless iteration and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, co-branded, virtual, global. A company that can transform defiantly will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to reinvent macro-magnetically than to synthesize extensibly. The power to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to repurpose interactively. If you actualize intra-virtually, you may have to empower compellingly. If you strategize interactively, you may have to deliver nano-nano-nano-robustly. The capacity to grow robustly leads to the ability to leverage cyber-magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? The aptitude to actualize virally leads to the capacity to innovate proactively. The cyber-systems factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think value-added, visionary. Think real-world, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be magnetic? We often monetize efficient bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you enhance dynamically, you may have to syndicate extensibly. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Instantly? We have come to know that if you exploit proactively then you may also enable robustly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The capacity to exploit virtually leads to the power to productize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Without preplanned networks, functionalities are forced to become one-to-one.