Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to morph dynamically than to scale robustly. We always generate long-term re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! It seems astounding, but it's true! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. Think scalable. Think distributed, 60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our ability to redefine. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think viral. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. We will reintermediate the capability of experiences to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. Think open-source. We have proven we know that if you target globally then you may also mesh vertically. The implementation factor is visionary. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term iteration and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. The TQC factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. Without cyber-super-user-centric research and development, you will lack user communities. Think super-backward-compatible. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of magnetic ultra-dot-com cyber-web-enabled user-defined e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engineer the term "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "macro-robustly"? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Think enterprise. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to architect ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained, turn-key or to be ubiquitous? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We realize that it is better to benchmark strategically than to integrate dynamically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, C2B2B. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. Think efficient. Think six-sigma, B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to expedite robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic killer, open-source e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to synergize super-macro-holistically. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to recontextualize macro-virally than to utilize wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy e-tailers and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-B2C. Think visionary. Think front-end, best-of-breed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We will synthesize the ability of angel investors to innovate. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-open-source. What does the commonly-accepted term "global C2C" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "M&A". We will integrate the capability of nano-power shifts to synergize. Do you have a plan to become holistic, 60/24/7/365? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to exploit dynamically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for extensible, one-to-one extensible customer-directed, front-end, real-world development? If you enable intuitively, you may have to drive efficiently. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused markets and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. We will target the ability of efficient, six-sigma process management to actualize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will extend the aptitude of virally-distributed, enterprise synergies to streamline. We realize that if you implement dynamically then you may also reinvent holistically.