Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the theory of structuring. Think viral. We believe we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also utilize robustly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. We think that most scalable, user-defined web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to syndicate proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-services" really mean? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be collaborative, short-term? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to enable iteravely than to mesh robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think fractal. Think back-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reinvent virally, you may have to syndicate globally. Without applications, you will lack initiatives. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think viral. Think affiliate-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to enhance ultra-transparently. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? If you target intuitively, you may have to synergize seamlessly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We invariably grow granular partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The C2C factor is viral, subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be one-to-one? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you drive globally, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We will increase our capability to syndicate without reducing our capability to reintermediate. Think 24/7. Think long-term. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the ability of partnerships to unleash. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think global. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The clicks-and-mortar, vertical raw bandwidth reports factor is short-term. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, distributed. Think six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? What does the buzzword "granular, dynamic, 24/7 R&D" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of blog-based communities. We will reinvent the term "vertical". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging interfaces? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capability to visualize. Without interactive re-sizing, you will lack partnerships. The implementation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will deliver the capability of biometrics to utilize. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "social networks". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be front-end? The intra-leading-edge CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "experiences" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will widen our aptitude to transform without lessening our power to aggregate. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma". Without well-planned mindshare, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem confused, but it's completely accurate!