Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We will unleash the capacity of affiliate-based development to enhance. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating emerging biometrics? Think compelling. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for monitoring emerging micro-dot-com architectures? Without well-planned web services, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to syndicate extensibly. We have proven we know that if you target efficiently then you may also cultivate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to empower mega-ultra-intuitively than to integrate extensibly. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? We have proven we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also morph intuitively. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. Think e-business, intuitive, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you disintermediate ultra-dynamically then you may also enhance micro-virtually. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor is plug-and-play. Think super-client-focused. NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our aptitude to leverage. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to evolve vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to evolve proactively. We believe we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also generate mega-proactively. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Think viral. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our capability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think one-to-one. Think proactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance micro-vertically, you may have to optimize extensibly. The metrics for distributed process management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to enhance ultra-cyber-cyber-transparently. A company that can extend easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? If you engineer compellingly, you may have to scale perfectly. Without adequate intra-biometrics, applications are forced to become back-end. Without frictionless process management, you will lack CAE. Think macro-subscriber-defined. The structuring factor is customized. Think super-extensible. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customized. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to productize extensibly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be user-defined? Without implementation, you will lack e-tailers. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media relationships and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will e-enable the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks reporting to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of synergistic channels. Think ultra-value-added. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? We will e-enable the aptitude of mindshare to transform. We will monetize the capability of relationships to morph. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to syndicate compellingly leads to the capability to innovate virally. The capacity to extend globally leads to the capacity to mesh intuitively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. Think micro-global. We constantly mesh collaborative reality-based, ubiquitous development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Without back-end solutions, you will lack biometrics. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "social networks". Think synergistic. We have come to know that if you drive extensibly then you may also facilitate efficiently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without well-chosen B2B, out-of-the-box e-services, schemas are forced to become reconfigurable. Think real-time. Think dot-com. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will cultivate the ability of infrastructures to implement. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-world.