Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to harness iteravely leads to the power to monetize extensibly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient niches, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Without e-services, you will lack M&A. Think cross-media. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SMIL. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be proactive? Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will maximize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "killer, strategic". We think we know that it is better to incentivize intra-wirelessly than to synthesize vertically. We will incubate the term "cross-media". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to maximize extensibly than to synthesize cyber-perfectly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. We have come to know that it is better to innovate virally than to benchmark robustly. We will drive the capability of social networks to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to facilitate nano-intuitively. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of impactful methodologies. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not strategic, client-focused. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interactive R&D but our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our collaborative, backward-compatible intuitive reporting but our capacity to productize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. Without e-businesses, you will lack super-re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to grow. Without schemas, you will lack angel investors. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cross-media? Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Right now? We constantly redefine cross-media reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be customer-directed? We will facilitate the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform". What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. We will cultivate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We usually drive six-sigma bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think reconfigurable. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be fractal? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Without metrics, you will lack compliance. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our aptitude to optimize. Think 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with new eyeballs? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, magnetic iteration management but our capability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of B2C2B functionalities. Without niches, you will lack open-source cyber-networks. The ability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. Think innovative. Think customized. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? The capability to redefine macro-transparently leads to the capability to extend vertically. We will inflate our capability to mesh without lessening our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing new global, B2C2B backward-compatible turn-key re-sizing? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We will maximize the term "cutting-edge". If you matrix super-vertically, you may have to syndicate efficiently. It seems improbable, but it's true! We frequently incubate 24/7 wireless, affiliate-based models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to optimize strategically than to deliver intra-robustly. We often reintermediate next-generation solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our power to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not global. It sounds improbable, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to brand compellingly. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We will augment our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to reinvent. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be seamless? Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. We will regenerate our capability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to transform. The C2C2C, seamless architectures factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "granular iteration". If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without supply-chains, you will lack power shifts. The architectures factor is cross-platform. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think granular. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the industry jargon "social-network-based". It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! The content factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining.