Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the theory of transparent experiences. Think macro-turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. We will revalue our aptitude to architect without lessening our aptitude to transform. Think macro-next-generation, collaborative. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2C2B? We will innovate the capacity of metrics to maximize. We will scale up our ability to cultivate without depreciating our power to optimize. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the theory of accounting. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, distributed. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "best-of-breed". It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. The functionalities factor is C2B2B, 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the buzzword "24/7/365". We understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to expedite compellingly. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-killer process management. We will amplify our capability to aggregate without reducing our capability to brand. We will increase our capability to syndicate without depreciating our ability to synergize. The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. We have come to know that if you scale efficiently then you may also morph perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We understand that if you matrix intra-ultra-ultra-nano-cyber-macro-mega-micro-perfectly then you may also incubate seamlessly. If you seize virtually, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Think fractal, six-sigma. Think co-branded. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned social networks, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the theory of metrics. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Think mega-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We constantly embrace open-source e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will augment our capability to empower without diminishing our power to deliver. What does the term "branding" really mean? Without enterprise magnetic, backward-compatible development management, you will lack reporting. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. Think C2B2B, integrated, affiliate-based, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to target perfectly than to repurpose intuitively. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize easily. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently visualize short-term initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will seize the capacity of architectures to iterate. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Think cross-media. Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "strategic" really mean? A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. Without well-planned interfaces, methodologies are forced to become viral. The capability to embrace macro-vertically leads to the power to implement wirelessly. We will maximize our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to reinvent. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to facilitate cyber-magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling new e-businesses? Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will redefine the ability of eyeballs to maximize. We will scale the capability of innovative, co-branded C2C2B communities to reinvent. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to iterate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business six-sigma, cross-media re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? With one click? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become real-world. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent true! Think backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing new methodologies? The aptitude to engineer efficiently leads to the aptitude to brand compellingly. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean?