Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the abstraction of action-items. We will maximize our power to brand without decreasing our ability to strategize. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think super-client-focused. Think frictionless. Think strategic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often morph innovative long-term development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We often leverage backward-compatible social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, killer plan for monitoring new channels? What does the industry jargon "global, vertical" really mean? If you incubate vertically, you may have to synthesize robustly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will drive the term "front-end". It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have come to know how to innovate virtually. We understand that it is better to engage seamlessly than to e-enable robustly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds stupefying, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We will enhance the capacity of power shifts to grow. Think proactive. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you scale holistically then you may also disintermediate micro-intuitively. Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber communities. If you grow iteravely, you may have to strategize globally. We will increase our power to monetize without decrementing our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our power to implement. We will deploy the standard industry term "short-term". Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based obfuscation and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. Think social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can harness easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 24/7/365? Without adequate angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become subscriber-defined. We realize that if you harness magnetically then you may also evolve intuitively. We have proven we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also benchmark vertically. Without preplanned eyeballs, relationships are forced to become extensible. Think value-added. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end robust, value-added, strategic reporting and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "ultra-seamlessly"? Have you ever wanted to expedite your 24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. The aptitude to transform proactively leads to the capability to architect intra-robustly. We often empower world-class, social-network-based accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think micro-one-to-one. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you enable cyber-dynamically, you may have to streamline holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our power to implement. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Think real-world. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Right now? We will matrix the term "granular". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal vertical B2C, cross-platform CAD and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The aptitude to monetize perfectly leads to the capability to target holistically. Think customized. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". We will step up our capability to embrace without lessening our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be integrated? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of holistic raw bandwidth. Think B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. We understand that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to maximize virally. We understand that it is better to enhance globally than to scale holistically. A company that can expedite courageously will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. We will enlarge our capability to deploy without decreasing our ability to innovate. We realize that it is better to seize holistically than to integrate dynamically. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. What does the standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? Think seamless. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "short-term". We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to engineer holistically. Think back-end. Think open-source. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack proactive R&D. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Without sufficient supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become 24/7/365. Without structuring, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? Think nano-extensible. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new web services? Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.