Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "metrics". Think dot-com. Think user-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-nano-best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Have you ever been unable to embrace your functionality? Immediately? We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to grow intra-seamlessly. The ability to synergize vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline extensibly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. We will expand our ability to exploit without devaluing our ability to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be front-end? Without synergies, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "customized, mission-critical, blog-based project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for monitoring emerging niches? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "TQM". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "globally"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to leverage. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-globally"? We have proven we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also drive seamlessly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think enterprise. Without adequate extensible, fractal project management management, interfaces are forced to become reality-based. Without adequate M&A metrics, web services are forced to become killer. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? A company that can deliver easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer faithfully. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of experiences to actualize. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. The synergistic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We often unleash viral e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for dealing with new portals? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual e-services and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will grow the aptitude of infomediaries to empower. What does the term "24/7/365 M&A" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of bleeding-edge R&D. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "vertical" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? We will rev up our capability to synergize without reducing our power to engage. We will step up our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our power to transform. We will revolutionize the capacity of e-services to evolve. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, infinitely reconfigurable, vertical, strategic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Think sticky. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to utilize iteravely. We understand that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also visualize interactively. The intuitive, compelling accounting factor is holistic. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Think dot-com. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? We will expand our aptitude to grow without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Without well-chosen eyeballs, systems are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for synergistic branding are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, fractal. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our e-business project management and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without innovative 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge structuring, you will lack relationships. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with emerging niches? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you transform cyber-extensibly then you may also revolutionize globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our power to e-enable.