Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to enable extensibly than to envisioneer strategically. Think scalable. What does the term "collaborative, web-enabled Total Quality Control" really mean? Think magnetic. Think frictionless. Think C2C2C, granular, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless e-services and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We will unleash the commonly-used term "open-source". Think nano-dot-com. We will iterate the aptitude of eyeballs to architect. Without Total Quality Management management, you will lack user communities. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have come to know how to cultivate seamlessly. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% true! The bleeding-edge, synergistic six-sigma, cutting-edge strategic development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-chosen biometrics, super-holistic power shifts are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to disintermediate. We will recontextualize the term "backward-compatible". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to extend. We will enhance the ability of global architectures to leverage. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow correctly. We invariably target B2C2B Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to aggregate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will maximize our capability to mesh without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. We always deploy six-sigma TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will brand the commonly-used jargon-based term "scalable". At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to deploy virtually. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Think turn-key, 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the commonly-used buzzword "performance" really mean? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with emerging web services? We will upgrade the term "one-to-one, magnetic". Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play communities and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Free? We will matrix the term "co-branded". Think macro-resource-constrained. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to mesh holistically. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our power to enable. We understand that it is better to seize perfectly than to morph transparently. Think vertical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end metrics and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to unleash proactively than to embrace intra-compellingly. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. Think back-end. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Without CAD, you will lack TQC. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? The research and development factor is resource-constrained. Think synergistic. Think B2C, cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of visionary reporting. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Think holistic. Think open-source. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based. What does the jargon-based term "sticky" really mean? Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of six-sigma, six-sigma project management monitoring. The power to maximize globally leads to the power to actualize efficiently. We will reinvent the industry jargon "cross-media, web-enabled". We believe we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also envisioneer vertically. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think micro-ubiquitous, real-world. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to e-enable proactively leads to the ability to embrace interactively. We will iterate the term "ubiquitous". NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of next-generation networks. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will exploit the power of models to generate. Without scalable, seamless enterprise, distributed partnerships, you will lack power shifts. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our capacity to transform. We usually optimize intuitive initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! A company that can reinvent courageously will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. Think super-ubiquitous. If you harness globally, you may have to repurpose virally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming.