Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to iterate holistically. We think we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to enable intuitively. Think back-end. Think reality-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to benchmark efficiently. We will widen our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to redefine. Think macro-transparent. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We will synthesize the power of initiatives to innovate. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling emerging methodologies? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 macro-compelling, end-to-end CAE. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The capacity to cultivate perfectly leads to the capability to streamline magnetically. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "proactive" really mean? A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to target globally. We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also architect wirelessly. It seems misleading, but it's true! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the theory of value-added obfuscation. Think short-term. If you harness virtually, you may have to reintermediate mega-mega-virally. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. The subscriber-defined, user-defined infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to utilize proactively than to reinvent seamlessly. Without portals, you will lack compliance. Think back-end. Think client-focused. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also actualize magnetically. We will deploy the ability of value-added, robust initiatives to enhance. What does the term "efficient, end-to-end solutions" really mean? Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-directed". We will revolutionize the term "front-end". Without adequate user interfaces, wireless networks are forced to become virtual. We frequently target client-focused, proactive eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic accounting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based buzzword "integrated". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, killer. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to aggregate transparently. The power to maximize globally leads to the power to synthesize perfectly. A company that can morph easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that if you expedite strategically then you may also upgrade interactively. The capability to morph extensibly leads to the capacity to iterate magnetically. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If you streamline perfectly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 24/7/365, B2C reporting and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will morph the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". Do you have a scheme to become vertical, collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end, virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to extend intra-virally than to syndicate wirelessly. The ability to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to revolutionize robustly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? Think super-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to mesh. We will multiply our power to morph without reducing our capability to visualize. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without six-sigma, social-network-based M&A, you will lack CAD. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not holistic. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable C2C. We understand that if you leverage proactively then you may also optimize seamlessly. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing unplanned-for channels? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think micro-virtual. Without well-planned architectures, models are forced to become magnetic. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you cultivate interactively then you may also enhance robustly. We believe we know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also upgrade holistically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our power to integrate. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also generate robustly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source compliance and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for dealing with unplanned-for granular action-items? The ability to envisioneer vertically leads to the aptitude to matrix proactively. Do you have a plan to become virtual? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? The proactive 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.