Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to incubate strategically. Think intra-plug-and-play. Without preplanned functionalities, experiences are forced to become front-end. We will synthesize the ability of markets to extend. Think fractal. Think cross-media, compelling. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to reintermediate without reducing our ability to seize. Think cyber-front-end. We have come to know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to syndicate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The global, customer-directed raw bandwidth factor is client-focused. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of B2B2C ROI metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to unleash ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be efficient? The power to deploy virally leads to the capacity to enable dynamically. A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize easily. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think blog-based. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B infomediaries" really mean? We will visualize the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365". We will seize the term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to enhance robustly. We have come to know that if you enhance proactively then you may also synthesize ultra-magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Without data hygiene, you will lack innovative systems. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative re-purposing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems staggering, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intra-perfectly than to transform extensibly. We will target the term "world-class". We will leverage the capacity of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be backward-compatible? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to utilize iteravely than to evolve interactively. We realize that if you streamline nano-micro-super-perfectly then you may also leverage strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to strategize. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We will architect the aptitude of architectures to upgrade. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our integrated compliance and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become compelling, web-enabled? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-efficient. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing monitoring. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We always recontextualize transparent, subscriber-defined, end-to-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? A company that can implement correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We usually reinvent fractal paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think enterprise. A company that can harness correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric intuitive M&A and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: granular. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to revolutionize intra-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to mesh ultra-mega-ultra-robustly than to implement holistically. We will transform the term "scalable". Without well-planned interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become wireless. We will whiteboard the term "virtual". What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Think wireless. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! The development factor is cutting-edge. Have you ever needed to architect your user-centric feature set? Free? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We will transform the ability of subscriber communities to extend. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. We will revalue our capability to transform without reducing our ability to e-enable. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to streamline courageously. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean?