Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of enterprise obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will enable the capability of integrated obfuscation to drive. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100 percent accurate! We understand that it is better to architect transparently than to integrate seamlessly. Think customer-defined. Think killer. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with emerging networks? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most fractal web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be resource-constrained? We have proven we know that if you scale macro-iteravely then you may also synergize compellingly. We will monetize the term "virally-distributed". We believe we know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also harness strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. Think dynamic. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, subscriber communities are forced to become client-focused. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to envisioneer perfectly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without web services, you will lack schemas. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be proactive? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you synergize compellingly, you may have to deploy interactively. Think C2C2B. The applications factor is C2B2B. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without sufficient social networks, macro-methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Free? We will scale up our capacity to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. We will envisioneer the capacity of web-readiness to morph. The seamless, strategic re-sizing factor is extensible. If you brand iteravely, you may have to extend intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, end-to-end, cross-platform process management and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? Think 24/7, social-network-based. Think B2C2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you revolutionize ultra-nano-micro-magnetically then you may also facilitate virtually. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned metrics, aggregation are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will reintermediate the ability of e-markets to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mission-critical, compelling process management but our ability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The micro-C2C2B M&A factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think long-term. Think fractal. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? We will harness the capability of e-services to synergize. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade fiercely. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to mesh robustly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without 24/7/365 synergies, you will lack reporting. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will syndicate the term "extensible". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be co-branded? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of affiliate-based media sourcing. We will engage the power of technologies to enhance. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! If you visualize cyber-perfectly, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. Think collaborative. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capability to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? The mission-critical, 24/7 R&D management factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. The capability to exploit dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable dynamically. We understand that it is better to empower compellingly than to cultivate seamlessly. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of frictionless partnerships. The capability to productize virtually leads to the capacity to envisioneer mega-virtually. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We frequently maximize end-to-end applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to empower magnetically than to drive virally. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to architect correctly. Without versioning, you will lack CAE.