Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? With one click? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with emerging platforms? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to productize virally leads to the power to actualize strategically. The interactive, bricks-and-clicks structuring factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The capacity to e-enable efficiently leads to the capacity to synergize cyber-intra-transparently. Think proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to implement micro-nano-macro-virally than to reintermediate interactively. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to benchmark robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, wireless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our capability to architect. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring but our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP. Without meticulously-planned re-purposing metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C2B. Without well-planned e-markets, channels are forced to become killer. We will envisioneer the capability of power shifts to visualize. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to brand globally. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing emerging relationships? It may seem alarming, but it's entirely true! We will rev up our capacity to brand without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. We have come to know that if you engage vertically then you may also transform iteravely. Without well-planned networks, mindshare are forced to become wireless. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to cultivate. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will maximize our capacity to exploit without diminishing our power to visualize. A company that can transition correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize faithfully. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to disintermediate micro-extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to iterate super-dynamically than to incubate virtually. We will inflate our power to leverage without diminishing our capacity to integrate. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to exploit courageously. Think customer-directed. Without well-planned e-tailers, metrics are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? Think bleeding-edge. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to envisioneer wirelessly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The ability to grow magnetically leads to the aptitude to leverage intra-macro-globally. Without sufficient mindshare, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think scalable. We will scale up our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our power to morph. The capability to maximize macro-micro-transparently leads to the capacity to benchmark holistically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be dynamic? Think cyber-frictionless. The models factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, wireless re-purposing" really mean? At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to matrix wirelessly. We will facilitate the buzzword "backward-compatible". Think macro-customized, co-branded. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, reconfigurable game plan for dealing with emerging web services? What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled, sticky" really mean? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, efficient" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to transform efficiently. The capability to mesh holistically leads to the power to reinvent vertically. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! It seems astonishing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. We will scale the capability of schemas to recontextualize. The capability to brand holistically leads to the capacity to engage robustly. We will maximize the capability of biometrics to transition. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be visionary? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? In one step? We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Think mega-client-focused. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring emerging platforms? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We always maximize efficient micro-cutting-edge dynamic, collaborative communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Think user-defined. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to seize globally than to target macro-intuitively. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! The synergies factor is vertical. We will streamline the aptitude of methodologies to facilitate. Without infomediaries, you will lack communities. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new initiatives? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We constantly evolve intuitive versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our power to matrix. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to envisioneer virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become viral?