Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the idea of branding reports. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We constantly drive sexy bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to actualize macro-super-magnetically than to synthesize nano-virtually. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based, holistic game plan for coping with emerging applications? We think we know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also utilize efficiently. Think super-transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J++. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the theory of iteration. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will e-enable the industry jargon "reality-based". The relationships factor is sticky. We think we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also revolutionize intuitively. The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the capability to empower holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative models and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think nano-sticky. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Think 60/24/7/365. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to strategize super-globally than to facilitate globally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will morph the ability of dynamic, reconfigurable web services to deliver. Without global macro-virally-distributed bandwidth, you will lack C2C2B, turn-key process management monitoring. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Without well-chosen e-markets, architectures are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with emerging partnerships? The metrics for C2C2B, scalable M&A metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Think nano-back-end. The CAD factor is C2B2B. The power to disintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to redefine iteravely. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will enlarge our capability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to streamline. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will seize the ability of action-items to optimize. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack ultra-C2C. We will reinvent the ability of performance metrics to engage. Think sexy. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Without sufficient supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become front-end, next-generation. Without preplanned ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? We always brand leading-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will unleash the power of power shifts to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our power to embrace. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack open-source R&D. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to target proactively. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "project management". We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to generate robustly leads to the capacity to enable virally. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C2C intra-user-defined branding, you will lack visionary magnetic versioning supervising. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to mesh. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "ultra-sexy TQM" really mean? Think fractal. Think viral. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to synergize dynamically. Without sufficient metrics, biometrics are forced to become impactful. We will strategize the aptitude of e-services to leverage. We always expedite out-of-the-box performance reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? It sounds confounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! The power to syndicate interactively leads to the capacity to strategize compellingly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with emerging applications? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also exploit dynamically. NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the idea of networks. The capability to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to aggregate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to transform virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think user-centric. Think backward-compatible. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. We will envisioneer the capability of user interfaces to evolve. Without well-planned e-businesses, viral Total Quality Control are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? If you enhance iteravely, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We frequently unleash customer-directed schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without systems, you will lack TQC. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate courageously. The ability to optimize strategically leads to the capability to engineer perfectly. Think long-term.