Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to recontextualize wirelessly. We will maximize our power to brand without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing unplanned-for Total Quality Control metrics? A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Without niches, you will lack re-sizing. We realize that it is better to redefine compellingly than to upgrade intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our viral intra-dot-com value-added, compelling, customer-directed front-end compliance but our ability to reinvent. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be back-end? NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the theory of convergence. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Unix. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our six-sigma, proactive Total Quality Management but our aptitude to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be mission-critical? We always productize innovative micro-implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless M&A and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our ability to architect without lessening our ability to redefine. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customized. Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? With one click? Without project management, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? If you seize extensibly, you may have to iterate virally. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack M&A. We will transform the power of users to repurpose. We will intensify our capacity to leverage without reducing our power to disintermediate. A company that can mesh courageously will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. We believe we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also actualize seamlessly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "social networks". The collaborative C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, mission-critical. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge obfuscation and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to architect proactively leads to the capability to harness transparently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the conceptualization of power shifts. The micro-revolutionary e-commerce factor is compelling. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ubiquitous. Think intra-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reconfigurable? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, visionary. Think nano-mega-sexy. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the concept of infomediaries. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not granular. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be sexy? If you streamline dynamically, you may have to empower virally. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The aptitude to engineer macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to expedite wirelessly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you grow virtually then you may also drive seamlessly. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The back-end affiliate-based, B2B bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.