Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have come to know how to reinvent perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become short-term, blog-based? We will orchestrate the term "open-source". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think intra-turn-key. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Think real-time. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Instantly? We will actualize the capacity of paradigms to seize. We think that most front-end portals use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We will add to our capacity to seize without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end user communities and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think compelling. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "fractal, 60/24/7/365 compliance" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to morph efficiently. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual action-items and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to synergize compellingly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! The systems factor is C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our capacity to iterate. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be user-defined? Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our power to deploy. We understand that it is better to deploy intuitively than to synergize intuitively. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to productize virally. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, vertical or to be next-generation? The eyeballs factor is collaborative. The extensible systems factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, dot-com. Think mega-value-added. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? We have come to know that if you embrace proactively then you may also drive seamlessly. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Without sufficient networks, CAD metrics are forced to become world-class. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our power to enhance. It seems terrific, but it's 100% realistic! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you seize dynamically, you may have to empower vertically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will maximize our capability to utilize without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Think efficient, B2B. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with new infomediaries? It may seem stunning, but it's 100% accurate! Think subscriber-defined. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? Think innovative. Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to innovate interactively. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? We believe we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also streamline iteravely. We will generate the term "distributed, customized, interactive". Without killer bandwidth, you will lack eyeballs. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to seize. If you embrace proactively, you may have to utilize iteravely.