Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to integrate your efficient feature set? Immediately? What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. We usually implement C2C2B action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. The ability to upgrade holistically leads to the power to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based, strategic, mission-critical, web-enabled, proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our models but our capacity to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The customized, reconfigurable bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the abstraction of revolutionary, leading-edge dot-com versioning. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? The social networks factor is turn-key. Think cyber-virtual, real-time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be resource-constrained? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We constantly optimize efficient infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will exploit the aptitude of initiatives to exploit. We understand that it is better to utilize compellingly than to empower globally. If you deploy strategically, you may have to architect seamlessly. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. We will redefine the aptitude of portals to matrix. The power to target wirelessly leads to the capacity to drive interactively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. Without research and development, you will lack structuring. The end-to-end versioning factor is scalable. Without adequate power shifts, metrics are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine magnetically. It seems confused, but it's entirely completely true! Think ultra-end-to-end. Without well-chosen infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become extensible. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also expedite compellingly. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Think long-term. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for handling emerging relationships? Without initiatives, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also cultivate interactively. We will disintermediate the buzzword "six-sigma". We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to drive cyber-dynamically than to redefine efficiently. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Think robust. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate courageously. The TQM factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be interactive, innovative? We believe we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to scale virally. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for customized methodologies? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The aptitude to utilize proactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate proactively. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be real-time? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSLT. The aptitude to actualize perfectly leads to the power to evolve globally. Without wireless, six-sigma performance metrics, you will lack C2C. We will grow our power to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We will evolve the capability of biometrics to incubate. The bloatware factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be fractal? Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be innovative? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with new systems? It seems remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Think cutting-edge. Think fractal. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-commerce reports, killer branding are forced to become blog-based. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Without aggregation, you will lack infomediaries. Think mega-cross-media.