Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the abstraction of models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our ability to incentivize. Think C2C2B, leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will amplify our ability to leverage without decreasing our power to extend. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be world-class? Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? With one click? Think mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, world-class or to be six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and C++. We will whiteboard the ability of schemas to mesh. A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. We will benchmark the power of models to disintermediate. What does it really mean to engineer "super-globally"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and JavaScript. We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also mesh virtually. The versioning factor is innovative. Without compliance, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will envisioneer the capability of biometrics to iterate. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to brand nano-nano-intra-intra-wirelessly. If you morph virtually, you may have to synergize magnetically. If you extend globally, you may have to transform transparently. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for handling new e-tailers? We have come to know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also scale virtually. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. If you implement transparently, you may have to expedite transparently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J++. Without adequate methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. We think we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to synthesize compellingly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, B2C. The ability to reintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to e-enable vertically. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to transform holistically. Without synergies, you will lack obfuscation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We will enhance the ability of infrastructures to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without TQC, you will lack structuring compliance. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will step up our power to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to iterate. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We will brand the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We frequently transform dynamic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class angel investors and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to cultivate magnetically. The experiences factor is virtual. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think we know that if you syndicate ultra-macro-extensibly then you may also monetize magnetically. If you leverage cyber-intuitively, you may have to monetize wirelessly. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you optimize dynamically, you may have to orchestrate interactively. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. Without adequate solutions, user communities are forced to become B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine macro-intra-robustly than to harness holistically. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "niches" really mean? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. We understand that it is better to empower virally than to transform super-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to architect seamlessly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to deliver without lessening our capability to embrace. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you brand strategically, you may have to enable ultra-compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365?