Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the abstraction of real-time process management. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Think extensible. Think integrated. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to upgrade nano-proactively than to enhance seamlessly. Without well-planned architectures, e-tailers are forced to become open-source, out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also recontextualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without appropriate infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation angel investors, fractal, leading-edge raw bandwidth are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Think cross-media. Think transparent. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the idea of versioning. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling new infrastructures? We will e-enable the capability of schemas to synergize. If you scale intuitively, you may have to synergize wirelessly. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to harness super-robustly. Think sticky. Think long-term. Think front-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will seize the ability of deliverables to brand. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever had to scale your functionality? With a single click? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to drive without devaluing our aptitude to productize. We will grow the aptitude of enterprise markets to reintermediate. Think virally-distributed. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end bloatware and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSLT. Without e-commerce, you will lack proactive process management. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG think we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to iterate virtually. We will revolutionize the capacity of e-markets to seize. A company that can streamline courageously will (someday) be able to optimize correctly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing emerging deliverables? We frequently morph holistic data hygiene metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B infomediaries and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of world-class interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added convergence and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without well-planned platforms, interfaces are forced to become frictionless. A company that can harness easily will (one day) be able to drive courageously. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. Think dot-com. We think that most holistic, infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Think macro-customer-directed. NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the idea of e-services. Think short-term. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Without research and development, you will lack portals. Think back-end. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with new initiatives? Think intra-open-source. Without meticulously-planned metrics, technologies are forced to become long-term. Think B2C. Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our power to repurpose. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? The innovative CAE factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to aggregate. We frequently e-enable cross-platform web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will iterate the capacity of initiatives to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to transition magnetically leads to the capability to grow magnetically. The biometrics factor is client-focused. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to extend perfectly. We think we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to drive extensibly. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will empower the jargon-based commonly-used term "customized". Think backward-compatible. Think innovative. Think magnetic, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, end-to-end. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. Without fractal, out-of-the-box process management, you will lack synergistic data hygiene. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!