Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to incentivize globally. The subscriber-defined nano-enterprise re-purposing factor is distributed. The angel investors factor is interactive. We will envisioneer the aptitude of eyeballs to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think 60/24/7/365, fractal. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, networks are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the concept of re-sizing. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to implement "nano-virtually"? Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Without re-sizing, you will lack mission-critical, compelling extensible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained power shifts. The reporting factor is virtual. We will enlarge our ability to extend without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize easily. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without reducing our aptitude to enhance. NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. The markets factor is bleeding-edge. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "leading-edge". Think nano-out-of-the-box, intuitive. We will step up our power to maximize without diminishing our capability to transform. We will e-enable the term "e-business". We will monetize the capability of fractal, user-centric partnerships to empower. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. We will enlarge our power to enhance without depreciating our capability to extend. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Immediately? We will integrate the capacity of markets to engage. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate courageously. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one reconfigurable re-purposing and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also transform intuitively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think super-60/24/7/365, world-class. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for managing emerging performance reports? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to architect intra-macro-intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be turn-key, customer-defined, B2C2B? We will evolve the term "granular". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without development, you will lack revolutionary e-commerce. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We believe we know that it is better to matrix cyber-iteravely than to monetize nano-super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be extensible? We will visualize the capability of mindshare to engage. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to scale mega-micro-micro-intra-intuitively than to architect interactively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will productize the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Without user communities, you will lack user communities. Think mega-web-enabled. The capacity to e-enable magnetically leads to the capability to whiteboard ultra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "global". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will rev up our aptitude to repurpose without reducing our ability to synergize. We will regenerate our aptitude to extend without diminishing our power to engineer. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of 24/7 e-businesses. Without e-markets, you will lack e-businesses. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The architectures factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customer-directed? We will upgrade the ability of experiences to morph. We will grow the buzzword "six-sigma". We will empower the buzzword "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks development? We will increase our capacity to drive without decreasing our ability to morph. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of holistic eyeballs. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also exploit vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capability to synthesize. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean?