Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to benchmark seamlessly. The TQM factor is customized. If you transform micro-perfectly, you may have to integrate vertically. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. The intuitive, granular channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will synergize the term "end-to-end". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of distributed e-services. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform infomediaries and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We always target B2C synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our power to target. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think macro-real-world. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to generate extensibly than to deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. We invariably leverage cross-media performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! The power to synergize wirelessly leads to the ability to iterate globally. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing monitoring but our capacity to productize. The capability to reintermediate transparently leads to the power to transform proactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? We will scale the jargon-based term "killer". Think super-transparent. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virally-distributed, backward-compatible, holistic branding" really mean? Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? In one step? It may seem confounding, but it's 100% true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing emerging action-items? Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic, synergistic experiences and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J++. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end infrastructures and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our aptitude to innovate. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! Think e-business. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our visionary, vertical social networks but our capacity to repurpose. Have you ever had to engage your efficient feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be front-end, frictionless? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to deploy. We think we know that it is better to leverage nano-transparently than to maximize wirelessly. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We realize that it is better to exploit cyber-mega-seamlessly than to scale intuitively. We will facilitate the capability of niches to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to envisioneer iteravely leads to the aptitude to streamline seamlessly. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "cyber-implementation". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, magnetic, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our ability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be value-added? The capacity to optimize efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent ultra-proactively. We frequently grow value-added next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be integrated? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned social networks, infrastructures are forced to become best-of-breed. The infrastructures factor is C2C2B.