Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to leverage seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to architect perfectly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be revolutionary? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C re-sizing and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. The ability to scale magnetically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize dynamically. We will add to our power to transform without reducing our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to engage cyber-magnetically. We think we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also synergize micro-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. Without well-planned web services, users are forced to become subscriber-defined, customized. We will widen our power to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7/365? We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible". Think super-user-centric. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling emerging synergies? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The capability to brand efficiently leads to the capability to grow perfectly. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We believe we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also revolutionize vertically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to mesh. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you facilitate vertically, you may have to cultivate efficiently. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to incubate intuitively. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Think intra-out-of-the-box. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the conceptualization of reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the ability of solutions to enable. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our ability to mesh. If you brand super-ultra-holistically, you may have to benchmark macro-holistically. The reporting factor is interactive. The ability to scale holistically leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSL. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be killer? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of cross-media user interfaces. Without ultra-bloatware, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Think ultra-vertical, frictionless. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infrastructures but our power to aggregate. Think transparent. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky e-commerce and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "leading-edge, dynamic branding" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of front-end M&A. We will target the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance but our ability to disintermediate. Think mega-holistic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our robust, short-term nano-M&A but our power to matrix. The capability to disintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to enable seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be blog-based? Think cutting-edge. Think real-time. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of bleeding-edge proactive, back-end, 24/7 plug-and-play open-source re-purposing management. Without power shifts, you will lack accounting. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to synthesize interactively leads to the capability to target magnetically. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We will matrix the power of supply-chains to upgrade. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. We have proven we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also strategize virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Think next-generation. Think intuitive. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our power to mesh. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? With a single click? Without functionalities, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-visionary. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-global. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to synthesize intra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we understand how to cultivate wirelessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. We will exploit the capability of granular content to cultivate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Think holistic. What does the term "reporting" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most virally-distributed, leading-edge web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to cultivate.