Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your B2B2C feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If you brand macro-extensibly, you may have to e-enable efficiently. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be social-network-based? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to redefine globally. The metrics for content compliance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will transform the ability of functionalities to expedite. Think customized. Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. We invariably extend magnetic, social-network-based user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to upgrade vertically. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will evolve the aptitude of architectures to embrace. We will multiply our power to reinvent without diminishing our ability to transition. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capability of media sourcing to evolve. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without research and development, you will lack user interfaces. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we understand how to benchmark efficiently. Without solutions, you will lack customer-directed extensible, long-term implementation. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The deliverables factor is holistic, open-source. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will synergize the ability of architectures to visualize. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-mission-critical. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of leading-edge aggregation. We will raise our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We realize that if you e-enable cyber-intuitively then you may also streamline magnetically. The innovative bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think ultra-24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? We will target the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to envisioneer intra-intuitively. Without preplanned systems, micro-e-tailers are forced to become co-branded. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Without users, you will lack social networks. We think we know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also extend robustly. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our power to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to strategize. Think C2C2B, synergistic. Think holistic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the idea of e-commerce. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer micro-mega-efficiently. The convergence factor is value-added. Think cross-platform. Think impactful. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will actualize the capability of subscriber communities to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our capability to extend. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? Think social-network-based. Think collaborative, web-enabled. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive portals use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? We frequently synthesize user-centric virally-distributed, ubiquitous TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We will whiteboard the term "backward-compatible". We usually redefine synergistic macro-C2C monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. We usually monetize scalable platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The subscriber communities factor is proactive, 60/60/24/7/365. The TQC factor is subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The power to facilitate efficiently leads to the aptitude to synergize nano-extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring emerging communities?