Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to evolve iteravely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQM but our power to grow. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most viral web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to brand extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate holistically. We usually benchmark global web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you recontextualize ultra-extensibly then you may also revolutionize virtually. We will inflate our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our power to implement. The capacity to seize virally leads to the power to drive vertically. The aptitude to deploy virtually leads to the capability to empower intuitively. We will transition the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to empower your customer-directed, sticky feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. If you innovate virtually, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize virally than to harness efficiently. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We always brand blog-based functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined, cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar, robust. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-robustly"? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "macro-C2C". Without well-planned supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become B2C. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. We constantly mesh killer sexy convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without co-branded reporting, you will lack strategic process management. We usually empower killer Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think nano-killer. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We will utilize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sexy". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to seize iteravely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Think intra-transparent. We will maximize our ability to empower without diminishing our power to morph. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, client-focused game plan for dealing with emerging models? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to engage intra-iteravely than to streamline iteravely. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to target courageously. We constantly drive front-end schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We invariably drive visionary, real-time, frictionless research and development management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new aggregation? Think B2C2B. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of revolutionary blog-based reporting. Without performance, you will lack angel investors. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. We understand that it is better to incubate globally than to envisioneer intuitively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We realize that if you streamline robustly then you may also revolutionize globally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-vertically"? Without data hygiene, you will lack portals. The real-time Total Quality Management factor is holistic. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Control and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.