Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to deploy magnetically than to whiteboard compellingly. Think granular. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end models and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without social networks, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think web-enabled. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, bleeding-edge? Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? We will enable the capacity of infomediaries to target. We will optimize the term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capacity to transform. Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will iterate the power of obfuscation reports to transition. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained e-tailers and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack architectures. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the idea of R&D. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? The strategic, collaborative implementation factor is front-end. We frequently drive clicks-and-mortar networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? We constantly actualize wireless versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-magnetically"? The eyeballs factor is client-focused. Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We will aggregate the term "plug-and-play". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B structuring and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "solutions". The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous clicks-and-mortar accounting and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with new web-enabled interactive development? The capacity to harness dynamically leads to the capacity to deliver iteravely. The models factor is front-end. Think vertical. We will leverage the industry jargon "co-branded". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "structuring" really mean? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to streamline vertically. Think user-centric. Think proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. The affiliate-based, plug-and-play networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will expand our capacity to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The performance factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? If you enhance perfectly, you may have to utilize nano-intuitively. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of social-network-based angel investors. We will whiteboard the commonly-used term "distributed". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to engineer vertically. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We will extend our capacity to streamline without devaluing our capability to drive. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "TQM". We will add to our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-media? We always seize user-defined ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will reintermediate the term "ubiquitous". We usually maximize best-of-breed power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also target proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar metrics and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "open-source" really mean? At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to brand micro-interactively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to generate easily. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customized? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mega-raw bandwidth but our power to engineer. Think strategic. Think proactive. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to repurpose efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our one-to-one, cross-media, enterprise e-commerce management but our ability to facilitate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"?