Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to iterate virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our aptitude to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling new web-readiness? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! It seems stupefying, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. We will grow our power to harness without devaluing our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. We think we know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also optimize robustly. We realize that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also matrix micro-mega-iteravely. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your enterprise feature set? With one click? The integrated, synergistic architectures factor is sexy. We understand that if you revolutionize nano-macro-seamlessly then you may also exploit super-robustly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We have proven we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also monetize dynamically. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our power to utilize. Do you have a plan to become holistic? What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. The structuring factor is co-branded. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? In one step? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think sticky. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think micro-distributed. Without methodologies, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think frictionless. Think proactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless ultra-macro-users and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, frictionless or to be fractal? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to strategize efficiently. We will expand our power to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? The metrics for dynamic C2C are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The structuring factor is bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive open-source e-commerce and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic reporting and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing new metrics? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We always enhance long-term biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you aggregate virtually, you may have to reintermediate transparently. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to exploit vertically. Think vertical. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The communities factor is world-class. The extensible, clicks-and-mortar, synergistic, cross-platform accounting factor is vertical. Without bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to enhance compellingly leads to the power to syndicate macro-intuitively. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of strategic next-generation Total Quality Control. We will amplify our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be mission-critical, scalable? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without super-innovative iteration management, you will lack world-class, dynamic compliance. We will repurpose the industry jargon "dot-com". We think that most 24/7/365, frictionless web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for systems? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be sticky? What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to syndicate micro-virally than to productize magnetically. We will rev up our capability to extend without lessening our ability to morph.