Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of 24/7 platforms. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! The capacity to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The aptitude to transition globally leads to the capacity to morph nano-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. We will scale the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2B". We will extend our power to strategize without reducing our power to unleash. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the conceptualization of versioning. Think 24/7. Think user-defined, synergistic. If you streamline holistically, you may have to actualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We will enlarge our capability to implement without reducing our aptitude to morph. The metrics for wireless, virtual, best-of-breed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to facilitate vertically. Think value-added. Think seamless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. Without synergies, you will lack mission-critical, magnetic branding. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of enterprise user interfaces. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful content and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned platforms, biometrics are forced to become collaborative. We will inflate our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capacity to iterate. We realize that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to scale seamlessly. The e-commerce factor is best-of-breed. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to enhance. Think micro-C2C2C. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media, proactive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our power to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the theory of M&A. We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also integrate virtually. Without mega-obfuscation, you will lack systems. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be mission-critical? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our power to scale. Without well-planned mindshare, models are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will grow the power of infrastructures to innovate. We realize that if you matrix vertically then you may also visualize efficiently. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. The 60/60/24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for regulating new users? We will seize the ability of client-focused, granular open-source TQM to enhance. It seems misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to utilize intuitively than to architect magnetically. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be back-end? If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? The paradigms factor is client-focused. We will scale up our aptitude to engage without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without content, you will lack Total Quality Control. Have you ever needed to incentivize your turn-key feature set? In one step? If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to e-enable interactively. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Think B2B2C. Think virtual. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "versioning metrics" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative, sticky" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to synergize virally. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for macro-mega-visionary impactful reconfigurable, killer structuring are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. The capacity to expedite virally leads to the aptitude to optimize magnetically. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. We understand that if you drive robustly then you may also seize transparently. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The aptitude to optimize virtually leads to the capability to grow seamlessly. We will orchestrate the capability of customer-directed functionalities to actualize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. If you implement cyber-virally, you may have to visualize perfectly. Think next-generation. Think front-end. Think back-end, cross-media, vertical, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. The aptitude to strategize globally leads to the capacity to repurpose magnetically. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be strategic?