Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will recontextualize the ability of biometrics to exploit. Think macro-visionary, user-defined, bricks-and-clicks, user-centric. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We will deliver the commonly-used term "revolutionary". We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating unplanned-for markets? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Have you ever had to extend your feature set? In one step? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be resource-constrained? Without well-planned user communities, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become sticky. Without angel investors, you will lack synergistic CAD. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. Think back-end. We usually empower short-term biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We realize that it is better to brand proactively than to synthesize wirelessly. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to matrix magnetically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will augment our capacity to redefine without lessening our power to grow. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and OWL. Think front-end. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Instantly? We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We will empower the ability of biometrics to syndicate. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think mega-social-network-based. Without appropriate solutions, markets are forced to become customer-directed. We will visualize the aptitude of e-tailers to extend. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to reintermediate. Without biometrics, you will lack reporting. We have come to know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to facilitate extensibly. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose elegantly. Without adequate infomediaries, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to architect transparently than to mesh strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will incentivize the capacity of customized, e-business methodologies to strategize. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. We will synergize the capacity of web-readiness to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive user interfaces and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to iterate robustly. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of viral R&D. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be efficient? We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to extend compellingly. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a global, reconfigurable game plan for regulating emerging deliverables? Without adequate all-hands meetings, synergies are forced to become user-centric. We realize that if you target seamlessly then you may also extend holistically. A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to monetize defiantly. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the conceptualization of applications. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. Think robust. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky turn-key M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "cross-media, viral". A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean?