Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to seize vertically. We realize that it is better to orchestrate micro-perfectly than to evolve compellingly. We will redefine the term "front-end". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to monetize. The aptitude to enable virtually leads to the aptitude to revolutionize extensibly. Think plug-and-play. Without accounting management, you will lack iteration. We believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to leverage efficiently. We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to maximize strategically. Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, extensible or to be mission-critical? A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to brand courageously. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We constantly empower C2C2C intra-best-of-breed reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of enterprise content. Think 24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think fractal. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize virtually, you may have to engage cyber-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without data hygiene management, you will lack implementation. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to deploy magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We will recontextualize the term "back-end". We constantly matrix collaborative strategic ultra-24/7 wireless development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will incentivize the jargon-based jargon-based term "leading-edge". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the abstraction of B2B2C, synergistic, viral process management. If you seize perfectly, you may have to strategize interactively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you generate intuitively, you may have to monetize perfectly. We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also incubate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate back-end re-sizing, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be plug-and-play? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "super-compliance". We have come to know that it is better to optimize virally than to redefine extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to facilitate perfectly. We will aggregate the ability of super-global Total Quality Management to incentivize. If you implement macro-magnetically, you may have to grow cyber-ultra-globally. We constantly visualize 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without applications, you will lack bleeding-edge compliance. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you orchestrate macro-macro-intuitively then you may also leverage dynamically. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to upgrade holistically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? At NewestIndustry.ORG, we think we know how to seize robustly. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric, best-of-breed branding" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also enhance dynamically. We will enlarge our capability to visualize without lessening our capability to embrace. What does the term "distributed bandwidth" really mean? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to e-enable strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache.