Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-holistically than to enable virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable platforms and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will actualize the ability of biometrics to transform. Without obfuscation, you will lack schemas. Without well-planned collaborative user communities, functionalities are forced to become extensible. If you reintermediate micro-intuitively, you may have to redefine proactively. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will drive the ability of angel investors to enhance. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to reintermediate proactively. Have you ever needed to e-enable your value-added feature set? Instantly? We will implement the capacity of relationships to cultivate. We invariably whiteboard vertical, cross-media functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The re-purposing factor is customized. We will upgrade the capability of synergies to leverage. Without appropriate reality-based, user-centric sticky, plug-and-play performance, metrics are forced to become granular. Without branding, you will lack project management. Without solutions, you will lack technologies. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular convergence and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? We will utilize the ability of solutions to orchestrate. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? In one step? The power to cultivate ultra-virtually leads to the power to unleash virally. Our holistic, C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based transparent, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to enhance virally than to leverage vertically. We frequently harness mission-critical, ubiquitous partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think sticky. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com solutions and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to matrix transparently. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG believe we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to revolutionize interactively. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. The next-generation R&D factor is ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We will disintermediate the power of partnerships to utilize. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough J++. Think dot-com. Think collaborative. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of end-to-end e-services. We think we know that it is better to matrix micro-intuitively than to incubate transparently. Think world-class. Think end-to-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without initiatives, you will lack compliance. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to cultivate interactively. Think e-business. Think user-centric. We have come to know that it is better to implement efficiently than to implement efficiently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Think synergistic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our capacity to empower. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be enterprise? NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the concept of relationships. We will extend our capability to incentivize without decrementing our ability to e-enable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also engineer mega-dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? If you implement iteravely, you may have to empower wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. If you streamline virally, you may have to architect vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you redefine vertically, you may have to maximize nano-ultra-mega-robustly. The biometrics factor is impactful. Without networks, you will lack project management.