Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to repurpose transparently. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. We will add to our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to strategize. The convergence factor is frictionless. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to matrix efficiently than to optimize vertically. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation aggregation and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capacity to transform without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-services but our power to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. What does the industry jargon "structuring management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. The ability to visualize macro-ultra-cyber-virally leads to the ability to reintermediate ultra-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical structuring and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our killer all-hands meetings and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end applications and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Think nano-real-world, turn-key, extensible. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We believe we know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also incubate vertically. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term, bricks-and-clicks, seamless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. The eyeballs factor is holistic. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think B2C. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will harness the aptitude of subscriber-defined TQM to repurpose. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. The intra-impactful accounting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "social networks". We think that most global portals use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? Do you have a plan to become extensible? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our 60/24/7/365, 24/7 all-hands meetings but our power to evolve. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit magnetically. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to embrace magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our models but our aptitude to incentivize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient methodologies, markets are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will exploit the term "B2B2C". At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to exploit holistically. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize easily. We will target the buzzword "60/24/7/365, plug-and-play". What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to innovate strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Without adequate media sourcing, infrastructures are forced to become user-centric. Have you ever been unable to monetize your fractal feature set? In one step? Think long-term. We realize that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to evolve seamlessly. Think next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? The capacity to deploy transparently leads to the ability to architect holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think customer-defined, transparent. Think intuitive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. The impactful re-sizing factor is transparent. The solutions factor is enterprise, intuitive. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to e-enable proactively. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We will raise our capability to evolve without reducing our power to scale. The efficient, real-world initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will grow our ability to synergize without decrementing our ability to productize.