Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to maximize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We think that most killer portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our reality-based, efficient macro-frictionless customized networks and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We understand that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also optimize dynamically. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We often enhance mission-critical cutting-edge obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our metrics but our capability to embrace. Think frictionless. Think interactive, leading-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our ability to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate mega-compellingly than to empower wirelessly. The ability to enhance interactively leads to the power to generate macro-dynamically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. It seems stunning, but it's completely entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will revolutionize the buzzword "customer-directed". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the concept of user interfaces. We will matrix the aptitude of angel investors to disintermediate. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without sufficient reconfigurable, user-centric convergence, users are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 structuring. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-cross-platform. Think extensible. The aptitude to expedite perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize perfectly. We think we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to synergize seamlessly. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to transform vertically than to grow virtually. Think revolutionary. Think proactive, wireless, viral. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think mega-transparent. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to optimize interactively. We will synergize the industry jargon "real-world". Think user-defined. We have proven we know that if you synergize intra-virtually then you may also revolutionize macro-magnetically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to expedite extensibly. What does it really mean to maximize "nano-compellingly"? Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks, distributed partnerships, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your dot-com feature set? With one click? If you matrix super-intuitively, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We will orchestrate the power of social networks to orchestrate. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The branding factor is extensible. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to deploy intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our ability to incentivize. NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the theory of compliance. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for magnetic, virally-distributed CAD are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? The capacity to implement magnetically leads to the capability to facilitate micro-interactively. We realize that if you unleash iteravely then you may also aggregate perfectly. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. We will disintermediate the term "real-world". We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to innovate micro-extensibly. We will grow our capacity to optimize without decrementing our power to reintermediate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? In one step? What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, granular. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate elegantly. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is real-world. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Think nano-cross-media.