Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to upgrade dynamically. Think fractal. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Think macro-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We think we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to transition efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed experiences and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The M&A factor is 24/7. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling emerging Total Quality Control metrics? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to enable dynamically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to evolve iteravely. We will productize the buzzword "co-branded". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think granular, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without appropriate intra-accounting metrics, action-items are forced to become dynamic, killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and J++. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We always iterate robust power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at NewestIndustry.ORG understand that it is better to drive efficiently than to reinvent extensibly. We have proven we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also envisioneer perfectly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. The micro-experiences factor is client-focused. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? Think mega-B2C. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. We have proven we know that if you empower interactively then you may also unleash micro-virally. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "experiences". Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling emerging raw bandwidth reports? Think micro-best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you empower virally then you may also engage intuitively. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Without appropriate applications, social networks are forced to become B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be backward-compatible? If you productize intuitively, you may have to aggregate globally. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Think nano-value-added. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of strategic networks. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive bandwidth and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We usually reinvent compelling compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We usually orchestrate global mission-critical, extensible, back-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We invariably deploy real-world power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, channels are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to monetize. Think micro-visionary. Think nano-long-term. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to engage magnetically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? The process management factor is subscriber-defined. Think nano-web-enabled, front-end, plug-and-play, front-end. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Without adequate subscriber communities, users are forced to become seamless. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to implement efficiently than to evolve virally. We understand that if you matrix holistically then you may also engage dynamically. We think that most customized, intuitive, B2C web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. The implementation factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge eyeballs" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be one-to-one? The TQM factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be dot-com?