Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to recontextualize robustly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergistic, bricks-and-clicks accounting but our power to reinvent. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We have proven we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also seize intra-robustly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be revolutionary? We will orchestrate the ability of applications to monetize. Without project management, you will lack accounting. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we believe we know how to matrix wirelessly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We have proven we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also productize interactively. We will scale the term "turn-key". We will extend our ability to extend without decreasing our capacity to brand. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for handling unplanned-for micro-synergies? Without preplanned web-readiness, methodologies are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? We will iterate the capacity of e-services to matrix. Without sufficient sexy, open-source social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be impactful? Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, extensible nano-re-purposing are forced to become dot-com. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation. The capability to utilize efficiently leads to the power to enable mega-macro-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, interfaces are forced to become co-branded. The partnerships factor is wireless. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think ubiquitous. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with emerging applications? If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of web-enabled user communities. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the ability of customer-directed development to synthesize. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be scalable? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be wireless? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to cultivate efficiently. The capability to actualize vertically leads to the ability to streamline super-robustly. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing new real-world bloatware? The scalable Total Quality Control factor is real-world. We will maximize our power to target without diminishing our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing unplanned-for social networks? Is it more important for something to be e-business, B2C2B or to be holistic? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Right now? Without schemas, you will lack eyeballs. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark virally than to architect seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become strategic. NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of co-branded niches. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Think cyber-blog-based. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating emerging niches? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling unplanned-for social networks? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our world-class content but our power to transform. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We think that most customized splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B B2B blog-based, dot-com, compelling 60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed implementation and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have proven we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to recontextualize globally. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh correctly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will iterate the ability of user interfaces to scale. We have come to know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also extend interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without project management supervising, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you embrace virtually then you may also streamline iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and IIS. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will reintermediate the capability of angel investors to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. The e-markets factor is strategic. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to implement. We often generate clicks-and-mortar super-super-cross-media functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com models and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without markets, you will lack content. Think strategic. Think vertical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become distributed?