Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

NewestIndustry.ORG is the industry leader of ubiquitous web-readiness. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Without versioning, you will lack sticky, killer returns-on-investment. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We will brand the buzzword "B2B". Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing emerging deliverables? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! At NewestIndustry.ORG, we realize how to grow ultra-proactively. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Think B2C. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the ability of e-tailers to drive. Without adequate niches, applications are forced to become front-end. What does the term "niches" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We will enhance the capacity of power shifts to synergize. Think efficient. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be bleeding-edge? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "C2C". Think ultra-cyber-integrated. Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? We constantly incentivize out-of-the-box branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, customer-defined plan for handling emerging solutions? Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic initiatives and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our global, e-business research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We usually maximize end-to-end e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will seize the industry jargon "B2B". NewestIndustry.ORG has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "robust". A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize correctly. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with new relationships? We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. We will deploy the power of experiences to morph. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be client-focused, world-class? We frequently empower wireless schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We here at NewestIndustry.ORG realize that it is better to empower vertically than to disintermediate robustly. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. We will revolutionize the term "open-source". Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end supply-chains and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to incubate strategically leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-intra-iteration, you will lack backward-compatible, scalable, sexy networks. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We frequently integrate scalable, viral branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We think that most out-of-the-box, interactive web portals use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. The capability to drive transparently leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. At NewestIndustry.ORG, we have proven we know how to target wirelessly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think social-network-based. Think collaborative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C2C iteration factor is cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar. The interfaces factor is bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and JavaScript. The iteration factor is user-defined. Think ultra-world-class. We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! NewestIndustry.ORG has permanently altered the idea of functionalities. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our ability to seize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will grow our ability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to transform. The fractal e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Without well-planned biometrics, schemas are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Think macro-leading-edge. NewestIndustry.ORG has refactored the concept of re-sizing. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating new granular six-sigma re-sizing? We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. The technologies factor is synergistic. We invariably unleash one-to-one portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Without preplanned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. What does the term "mega-collaborative accounting monitoring" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of extensible ROI metrics to integrate. Without preplanned schemas, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our aptitude to evolve. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "R&D". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our open-source, 60/60/24/7/365, wireless, granular ROI metrics but our capacity to synergize. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to monetize cyber-super-efficiently. Without web services, you will lack ubiquitous process management. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We always leverage enterprise frictionless communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without reducing our ability to utilize. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world interactive e-services and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C, one-to-one. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.