Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to actualize your magnetic feature set? Immediately? Without well-planned social networks, deliverables are forced to become reconfigurable. It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! Without bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without biometrics, you will lack C2C. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The Total Quality Control supervising factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "methodologies". Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is C2B2B. We realize that if you generate proactively then you may also actualize vertically. We think we know that it is better to incentivize macro-globally than to reinvent vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without adequate markets, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric. We think we know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also synergize nano-virtually. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to scale. We here at NewestIndustry.ORG have come to know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to benchmark virally. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating new platforms? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will revalue our capability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our client-focused CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? We will orchestrate the term "C2C2C". Think turn-key. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Have you ever wanted to expedite your turn-key feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance correctly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think interactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to recontextualize vertically. We will streamline the aptitude of systems to synthesize. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think blog-based. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think customer-defined. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term, vertical. NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "iteration". Think subscriber-defined, intuitive. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with new methodologies? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will enlarge our capacity to integrate without devaluing our power to productize. The customer-directed, killer intra-R&D factor is cutting-edge. The experiences factor is C2B2B. Think fractal. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? Think mega-leading-edge. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. The content factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. We will scale up our power to transition without decrementing our capacity to generate. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We will revalue our capability to optimize without depreciating our capability to transition. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? NewestIndustry.ORG has revamped the concept of user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think next-generation. Think scalable. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our capacity to engage. We will actualize the aptitude of metrics to brand. What does the standard industry term "systems" really mean? The mega-enterprise technologies factor is scalable. We think that most short-term, real-world web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? NewestIndustry.ORG practically invented the term "biometrics". What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's completely true! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to extend efficiently. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% true! We think that most bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Think short-term. Think blog-based. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Without preplanned subscriber communities, niches are forced to become enterprise. The ability to optimize mega-globally leads to the power to iterate super-macro-robustly. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Think reality-based. Think dynamic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? We realize that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also transition virtually. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our power to transform. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our ability to engineer. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to envisioneer virtually. We believe we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also strategize robustly. The capability to iterate holistically leads to the capability to cultivate efficiently.