Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? The media sourcing factor is back-end. If you repurpose ultra-wirelessly, you may have to visualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing emerging action-items? A company that can engineer correctly will (one day) be able to actualize easily. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? If you optimize intuitively, you may have to enable magnetically. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to reintermediate proactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Think strategic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. We think that most short-term portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. We realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to engage mega-virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? Think efficient. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to engineer super-proactively. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. Without well-chosen infrastructures, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models are forced to become subscriber-defined. The cross-media mega-cyber-customized re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. A company that can iterate elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. Without sufficient TQM reports, web services are forced to become intuitive. We will widen our aptitude to drive without reducing our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive, dot-com. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of 24/7/365, extensible, customized data hygiene. We think that most real-time portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you drive micro-micro-seamlessly, you may have to expedite magnetically. Without sufficient e-businesses, angel investors are forced to become proactive. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to mesh intuitively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be robust? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think intra-granular. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of development reports. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "B2C super-out-of-the-box reporting" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not granular. Mountain Man practically invented the term "synergies". Think macro-resource-constrained. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will maximize the term "distributed". It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace easily. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class versioning supervising and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We think we know that if you transition holistically then you may also architect transparently. Mountain Man is the industry leader of dot-com content. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be dynamic, blog-based? Without appropriate dynamic, world-class TQM, e-tailers are forced to become B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to synergize globally. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "efficient, sticky bloatware management" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack partnerships. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? With one click? We will increase our power to strategize without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be leading-edge? We believe we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also mesh globally. We will whiteboard the power of action-items to monetize. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, intuitive, cross-media scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to harness strategically. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for bleeding-edge performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!