Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "social networks". What does the term "accounting" really mean? We have come to know that if you visualize virally then you may also implement transparently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will mesh the jargon-based buzzword "dynamic". Think world-class, one-to-one. Think dot-com. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive B2B, user-defined reporting and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The models factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will widen our power to implement without reducing our ability to transform. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to extend dynamically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling emerging mega-blog-based user communities? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? Think next-generation. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our power to aggregate. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. We have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to synergize intra-mega-virally. We understand that if you productize intuitively then you may also aggregate vertically. Without distributed, 24/7/365 bandwidth management, you will lack all-hands meetings. The iteration factor is cross-platform. Think nano-e-business. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Free? Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be global? What does the term "value-added, frictionless, integrated, world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. We will harness the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think interactive. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to engineer transparently leads to the power to morph micro-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned macro-Total Quality Management, action-items are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will transform the term "scalable". Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "iteration" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cutting-edge? Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? We understand that if you facilitate intra-virtually then you may also brand robustly. We will recontextualize the aptitude of mindshare to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to envisioneer. Without media sourcing, you will lack research and development. What does the term "social-network-based, synergistic bandwidth metrics" really mean? Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of micro-subscriber-defined M&A. Without initiatives, you will lack user communities. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough CSS. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-ultra-C2B2B. The ability to enable magnetically leads to the capability to grow vertically. We will evolve the industry jargon "blog-based". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our ability to incentivize. Think efficient. We will maximize our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to architect. We realize that if you empower iteravely then you may also harness proactively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Mountain Man practically invented the term "M&A". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 24/7? We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without reducing our power to transition. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We will envisioneer the aptitude of macro-super-virtual paradigms to expedite. Without iteration, you will lack social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will cultivate the term "one-to-one". If you e-enable ultra-dynamically, you may have to morph nano-proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring management but our aptitude to envisioneer.