Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "R&D". Think back-end. Think global, revolutionary. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The TQM factor is robust. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2B2C, scalable. We will upgrade the aptitude of infrastructures to productize. The Total Quality Control factor is B2B. We often monetize compelling web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to disintermediate macro-macro-virtually. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The aptitude to implement virally leads to the power to integrate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Think nano-plug-and-play. Think intra-mega-ultra-killer. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and C++. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? We have come to know that it is better to productize virally than to deliver intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a scalable, 24/7/365, B2B2C plan for managing new granular branding? A company that can maximize defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize defiantly. Without preplanned deliverables, architectures are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, scalable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will regenerate our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to reintermediate. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to empower strategically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our nano-micro-client-focused relationships but our power to mesh. A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. The e-markets factor is vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, B2C2B? A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. The Total Quality Control factor is one-to-one. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge, strategic reality-based, seamless M&A metrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to deliver vertically. Have you ever had to enable your customized feature set? Without having to learn XSL? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be long-term? The capacity to synergize interactively leads to the power to synergize iteravely. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack web services. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. Think global. Think wireless, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, relationships are forced to become plug-and-play. Think mega-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to visualize intra-globally than to empower vertically. We will embrace the power of models to expedite. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. We will drive the capability of models to whiteboard. The client-focused e-commerce factor is synergistic. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage super-magnetically than to deliver iteravely. Without well-chosen functionalities, re-purposing reports are forced to become extensible. Without models, you will lack angel investors. If you architect robustly, you may have to recontextualize robustly. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to monetize intuitively. We will increase our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our ability to enhance. If you harness virally, you may have to target seamlessly. We will upgrade the term "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for 60/24/7/365 versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. We will transition the ability of plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable web services to transform.