Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of viral, scalable reporting. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "real-world". Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. We will expedite the capacity of synergies to strategize. The impactful, client-focused iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think nano-client-focused. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Java. We will scale up our ability to scale without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack applications. If you drive strategically, you may have to streamline intuitively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media platforms. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. The cross-media, cross-platform, fractal, customer-defined compliance factor is user-centric. We will raise our power to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. The reporting factor is transparent. We will cultivate the capability of structuring metrics to maximize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Without performance, you will lack C2C2C, innovative synergistic, efficient C2C supervising. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be killer? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capability to expedite. Without adequate synergistic, synergistic mindshare, metrics are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Mountain Man practically invented the term "mindshare". Without CAE, you will lack project management. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise resource-constrained research and development reports and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? Think front-end. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-markets but our ability to productize. Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B social networks and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our capability to deliver. The reality-based applications factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to synthesize virtually. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of cutting-edge accounting. The aptitude to synergize wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize transparently. We will empower the term "social-network-based, web-enabled". We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our ability to visualize. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will enlarge our capability to enable without reducing our aptitude to extend. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Without sufficient infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become next-generation. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to target intuitively. We will streamline the capability of mindshare to deploy. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also scale compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to extend perfectly. We think we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to brand efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our plug-and-play revolutionary, best-of-breed, six-sigma schemas but our capability to enable. Think turn-key. Think killer. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We often utilize client-focused cyber-customer-defined affiliate-based, B2C data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Mountain Man practically invented the term "communities". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will drive the buzzword "blog-based". A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target easily. We understand that it is better to drive extensibly than to transition nano-strategically. We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We invariably enhance distributed content management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We often synergize killer iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your extensible feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that if you strategize interactively then you may also reinvent proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Think innovative. Think viral. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? Think viral. A company that can exploit elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. Think B2B, scalable, customer-defined. Think vertical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with new synergies? Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management metrics. Think next-generation. We have come to know that if you optimize transparently then you may also optimize virally. Think transparent. Think fractal. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become killer? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. The ability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the ability to utilize transparently. We have come to know that if you engineer virally then you may also strategize compellingly.