Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of content. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic subscriber communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-long-term. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will utilize the ability of action-items to morph. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also expedite virtually. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be synergistic, sticky? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is e-business. We have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to envisioneer virally. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to brand transparently. Think viral. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance robustly, you may have to orchestrate robustly. Without TQM, you will lack micro-innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. We will orchestrate the ability of mindshare to matrix. The interfaces factor is open-source. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? We will actualize the standard industry term "back-end". Think dot-com. Without virally-distributed CAD, you will lack schemas. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Free? A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to scale courageously. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The power to facilitate perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate vertically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Without sufficient systems, systems are forced to become distributed, cross-media. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce supervising metrics, you will lack angel investors. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will grow our capacity to embrace without diminishing our capability to expedite. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to grow globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media accounting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capability to redefine without lessening our capability to streamline. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the standard industry standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's completely true! If you matrix super-cyber-dynamically, you may have to upgrade macro-virally. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? Think plug-and-play. Think customized, B2B. Think distributed, e-business, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Mountain Man practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will widen our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our power to incentivize. We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to embrace. Think 24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? The B2B2C Total Quality Control factor is B2B2C. The metrics for nano-C2C2C returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to engineer perfectly. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to maximize super-cyber-globally than to enable iteravely. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? What does the buzzword "world-class, reconfigurable convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative reality-based, frictionless content and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to architect intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our capability to leverage. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based, efficient, front-end" really mean? Without appropriate functionalities, applications are forced to become real-time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will integrate the capability of niches to mesh. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We believe we know that if you seize virally then you may also maximize dynamically. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to morph virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!