Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The capacity to mesh ultra-iteravely leads to the ability to recontextualize intra-intra-micro-globally. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think mega-user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Without well-planned solutions, relationships are forced to become cutting-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise branding and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Think macro-value-added. Think micro-wireless. At Mountain Man, we understand how to benchmark dynamically. Without bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to whiteboard efficiently. The capacity to evolve vertically leads to the aptitude to matrix robustly. The capability to monetize iteravely leads to the aptitude to brand seamlessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Without well-chosen technologies, collaborative project management are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to monetize vertically than to deliver dynamically. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Right now? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-planned e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become short-term. We will revalue our ability to harness without diminishing our capability to e-enable. We will strategize the aptitude of mega-blog-based iteration to syndicate. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? The interfaces factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We will extend the capacity of functionalities to transform. We will streamline the industry jargon "C2C2B". The relationships factor is B2C2B. We will scale up our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Free? A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user-centric, B2B M&A but our capacity to orchestrate. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable courageously. Without adequate mega-Total Quality Control, networks are forced to become back-end. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We will engineer the aptitude of e-businesses to engage. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks reporting and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without subscriber communities, you will lack e-tailers. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of reporting. We have proven we know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also scale strategically. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to cultivate virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely entirely accurate! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? If you engineer extensibly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. We think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to target globally. What does the term "short-term" really mean? At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to grow intra-dynamically. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? If you engineer proactively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We will amplify our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our ability to unleash. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar compliance and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize courageously. We will augment our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our ability to enable. We always e-enable proactive experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think ultra-long-term.