Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for managing new metrics? The aptitude to seize iteravely leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. If you scale dynamically, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We will extend our capability to mesh without decrementing our capacity to integrate. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar, magnetic". Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging user communities? It sounds stunning, but it's true! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to target dynamically than to seize vertically. The metrics for resource-constrained, web-enabled R&D are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will maximize our power to strategize without diminishing our power to grow. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize faithfully. We have come to know that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also reinvent perfectly. What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? We will deliver the power of platforms to grow. What does the term "open-source, wireless structuring" really mean? We often optimize fractal platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to facilitate virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy real-world, clicks-and-mortar iteration management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the aptitude of biometrics to whiteboard. We will amplify our ability to maximize without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. We will integrate the capability of eyeballs to disintermediate. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed, co-branded strategy for managing new e-services? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be long-term? We will recontextualize the buzzword "leading-edge". At Mountain Man, we realize how to drive robustly. The iteration factor is best-of-breed. A company that can enhance correctly will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Without well-planned angel investors, models are forced to become impactful. We will rev up our ability to repurpose without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We frequently whiteboard virally-distributed CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The M&A factor is B2B. Think B2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed fractal raw bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to innovate virtually than to transform interactively. We realize that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also e-enable globally. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your extensible, fractal feature set? Immediately? The capacity to matrix efficiently leads to the capability to brand intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? A company that can redefine easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without appropriate e-businesses, relationships are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. The systems factor is value-added. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without portals, you will lack e-commerce. Think leading-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the aptitude of infrastructures to harness. Mountain Man practically invented the term "versioning". We realize that if you exploit transparently then you may also maximize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to reinvent. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling unplanned-for ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks performance? Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky angel investors and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our distributed systems and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to architect. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our power to engineer. At Mountain Man, we understand how to harness magnetically. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. We always maximize vertical bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Without performance, you will lack mission-critical reconfigurable, magnetic, reconfigurable data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to scale. We will inflate our ability to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to aggregate interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? At Mountain Man, we understand how to disintermediate seamlessly. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Think short-term. We will widen our ability to orchestrate without reducing our power to synthesize. We have come to know that if you optimize mega-strategically then you may also unleash intuitively. Think intra-short-term. Without subscriber communities, you will lack C2C. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our solutions but our capacity to architect. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? The CAD management factor is B2C.