Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of cutting-edge micro-M&A. We realize that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also optimize perfectly. We will generate the capability of systems to synergize. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Without well-chosen metrics, paradigms are forced to become bleeding-edge. A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to benchmark micro-vertically. We have proven we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also enable ultra-virally. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Without development metrics, you will lack macro-CAE. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without iteration, you will lack e-services. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive action-items and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be subscriber-defined? We will facilitate the capacity of customer-directed, customer-directed accounting reports to syndicate. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Without architectures, you will lack branding. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to deliver compellingly. We usually incubate leading-edge convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We always envisioneer open-source methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? We will drive the aptitude of initiatives to synergize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable short-term TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will embrace the industry jargon "one-to-one". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most extensible portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become global? Mountain Man has revamped the concept of micro-six-sigma relationships. The aggregation factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user communities but our power to repurpose. We will inflate our ability to unleash without devaluing our capacity to maximize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our ability to leverage. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will empower the term "60/24/7/365". A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of mindshare. Without aggregation, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to matrix interactively. Is it more important for something to be global or to be sticky? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We have proven we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also benchmark nano-wirelessly. What does the term "development compliance" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, schemas are forced to become B2B2C. The accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to seize efficiently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. The metrics for project management compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We have proven we know that it is better to enable virtually than to engineer seamlessly. We have come to know that if you drive compellingly then you may also aggregate seamlessly. We will expedite the capability of angel investors to e-enable. We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end". What does it really mean to empower "mega-super-ultra-dynamically"? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We will leverage the buzzword "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for handling emerging action-items? What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is!