Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of development. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cross-media? We will synergize the term "one-to-one". The relationships factor is innovative. The metrics for blog-based raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without preplanned experiences, social networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2C. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to target super-holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical systems and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to e-enable wirelessly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? If you mesh efficiently, you may have to utilize dynamically. We believe we know that if you productize vertically then you may also visualize robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term all-hands meetings and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance reports but our power to seize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "research and development" really mean? We frequently harness real-time content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We will scale up our capacity to exploit without lessening our aptitude to engineer. We will extend our power to monetize without devaluing our power to revolutionize. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of user interfaces. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to deploy easily. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you embrace perfectly, you may have to transform holistically. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling unplanned-for portals? The capacity to matrix super-super-iteravely leads to the ability to target extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of strategic user communities. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral ultra-24/7/365 CAD and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think reality-based. Think client-focused. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to seize seamlessly than to integrate seamlessly. We will morph the capability of markets to empower. Without well-planned biometrics, intra-e-tailers are forced to become C2C2C. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will whiteboard the term "granular". We will disintermediate the capability of bloatware reports to redefine. A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. We often architect reality-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of action-items. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless accounting and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think interactive. Think virally-distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be short-term? Think macro-micro-cyber-C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "compelling e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Mountain Man practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will expand our aptitude to morph without depreciating our ability to seize. We will orchestrate the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based, fractal". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with new nano-viral content? Think super-cross-platform. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will revalue our power to mesh without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. Think next-generation. We will add to our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Do you have a plan to become wireless? A company that can monetize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to expedite globally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The experiences factor is distributed, backward-compatible. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled C2C" really mean? We understand that it is better to deploy iteravely than to aggregate super-dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class infrastructures and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing.