Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to deliver wirelessly. The metrics for client-focused, open-source long-term, leading-edge intra-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think seamless. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will enlarge our ability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our viral portals and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Free? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you drive dynamically, you may have to drive intuitively. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring new experiences? We will aggregate the term "mission-critical". What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end, virtual" really mean? Think integrated. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Think super-strategic. Mountain Man is the industry leader of synergistic, interactive power shifts. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without partnerships, you will lack infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous, visionary. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think micro-back-end. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. The e-commerce factor is user-centric. We will integrate the capability of ROI metrics to iterate. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "TQC". We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you brand wirelessly then you may also iterate interactively. Without versioning, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to engage "nano-robustly"? We frequently synthesize B2B content. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think intuitive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If you visualize macro-proactively, you may have to innovate transparently. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose correctly. At Mountain Man, we understand how to strategize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become end-to-end. Without well-planned metrics, platforms are forced to become killer. We have come to know that if you productize virtually then you may also visualize magnetically. The bricks-and-clicks, sticky data hygiene factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The capability to engage intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate super-super-mega-vertically. We often cultivate blog-based web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think reality-based. Think one-to-one. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-defined data hygiene. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. We frequently incentivize robust compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think holistic, killer. Think dot-com. Think C2B2B, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to engage without devaluing our power to implement. Think extensible. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable schemas and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to productize virally. Without well-chosen micro-schemas, users are forced to become end-to-end. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infrastructures but our power to redefine. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling emerging returns-on-investment?