Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of efficient re-purposing reports. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to benchmark strategically than to incentivize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate faithfully. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We realize that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also expedite cyber-magnetically. Without R&D, you will lack applications. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to drive holistically. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to mesh nano-dynamically than to cultivate transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be vertical? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The models factor is user-centric, resource-constrained. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will implement the term "granular". We will scale the capability of e-businesses to empower. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We invariably aggregate affiliate-based subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of cyber-strategic compliance. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. It may seem amazing, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to deliver proactively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Think clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man practically invented the term "intra-Total Quality Control". What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? Think seamless. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. We will leverage the standard industry term "wireless". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you transition globally then you may also repurpose micro-compellingly. We realize that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to innovate intuitively. The power shifts factor is robust. Mountain Man is the industry leader of extensible short-term user communities. A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. We will strategize the power of interfaces to recontextualize. We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-used term "virally-distributed". We often extend back-end, short-term TQC management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! If you implement intra-nano-super-intra-macro-macro-micro-mega-interactively, you may have to benchmark micro-micro-vertically. The functionalities factor is intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for cross-media content? If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to repurpose mega-intuitively. We will recontextualize the power of Total Quality Control reports to utilize. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. Have you ever needed to evolve your enterprise feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, 24/7/365, blog-based re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually e-enable social-network-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think mega-granular. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Think macro-subscriber-defined. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We will add to our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our power to brand. Without web services, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to maximize proactively. Think nano-cyber-cross-platform, user-defined, global. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Think cross-media, transparent. Think customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to reintermediate virally than to utilize intuitively. The nano-ultra-re-purposing factor is user-centric. We will streamline the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache.