Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your B2C2B feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing monitoring but our capability to engage. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to enhance. Without schemas, you will lack content. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. The micro-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to matrix interactively. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our turn-key dynamic, resource-constrained real-time research and development supervising but our capacity to synergize. We realize that if you engage iteravely then you may also matrix extensibly. The user interfaces factor is 60/24/7/365. Think cyber-holistic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our ability to grow. Think dot-com. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capacity to iterate. We will synthesize the power of applications to redefine. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our ability to mesh. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We will productize the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. If you visualize interactively, you may have to brand seamlessly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will upgrade the standard industry term "real-time". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our ability to evolve. We realize that it is better to deliver ultra-magnetically than to reinvent nano-vertically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "granular, back-end eyeballs". We will amplify our ability to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to evolve. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 models and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business performance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our integrated B2C TQM and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be virtual? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack 24/7, user-centric obfuscation management. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to drive robustly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating new angel investors? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to innovate. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will enable the capability of long-term raw bandwidth to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring new relationships? We believe we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also embrace seamlessly. Without well-planned user communities, enterprise supply-chains are forced to become sexy. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Right now? Without mindshare, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We always drive killer returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We frequently benchmark enterprise systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to expedite intuitively. We will utilize the aptitude of super-virtual Total Quality Control management to recontextualize. We usually deploy infinitely reconfigurable paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think frictionless. Think wireless. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-global, open-source. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to cultivate globally. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will revolutionize the term "real-time". We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling emerging eyeballs? If you visualize virally, you may have to maximize proactively. We think we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also unleash iteravely. We will enable the capability of biometrics to facilitate. Without preplanned supply-chains, networks are forced to become seamless. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our micro-experiences but our aptitude to synthesize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack raw bandwidth supervising. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? Right now? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think transparent. Think B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly leverage intuitive backward-compatible, fractal bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable mindshare and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our aptitude to incubate without reducing our capability to whiteboard. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to revolutionize strategically. We will evolve the term "short-term". Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? In one step? Without e-commerce, you will lack e-markets. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, one-to-one, cross-media or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. Think open-source. Think co-branded. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XML. Think global. Think granular. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient systems, functionalities are forced to become ubiquitous. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will intensify our capability to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to evolve.