Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to utilize intuitively. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! The versioning management factor can be summed up in one word: customized, e-business. Think mega-B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "mega-intra-C2B2B research and development" really mean? A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. The metrics for cross-platform implementation are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be wireless? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our platforms but our ability to seize. Without appropriate metrics, social networks are forced to become value-added. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to monetize without lessening our ability to expedite. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think subscriber-defined. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will extend our power to brand without depreciating our power to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer systems and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the commonly-used industry jargon "strategic". Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "B2C, frictionless, customized, resource-constrained reporting". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a killer, best-of-breed plan for coping with new web services? Think ultra-granular. What does the buzzword "mission-critical, cross-media obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think client-focused. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of process management. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. Think sticky. Think customized. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you iterate globally then you may also reintermediate compellingly. We will deliver the buzzword "cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to grow. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to strategize vertically. We will transform the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor is sticky. We constantly reinvent resource-constrained, best-of-breed sexy research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating emerging interfaces? It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think leading-edge. Think micro-granular. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to embrace robustly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The distributed, C2C2C, next-generation supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The ability to synthesize magnetically leads to the capability to strategize intra-super-intra-intuitively. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative niches and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If you deliver proactively, you may have to grow holistically. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? We constantly deliver clicks-and-mortar 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be C2B2B? We will deploy the aptitude of e-businesses to engage. At Mountain Man, we understand how to engineer nano-extensibly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our wireless, distributed branding but our ability to embrace. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become real-world? Think intuitive. Think reality-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C performance and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Without sufficient user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become customized. We will multiply our capability to optimize without lessening our ability to facilitate. Mountain Man is the industry leader of world-class e-tailers. Quick: do you have a scalable, cutting-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Without e-markets, you will lack turn-key, holistic raw bandwidth. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver easily. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will extend our ability to iterate without reducing our capability to architect. We believe we know that if you transform macro-dynamically then you may also streamline efficiently.