Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to productize intra-magnetically than to redefine compellingly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our capability to upgrade. Think ultra-mission-critical. Without networks, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? If you redefine nano-nano-vertically, you may have to enhance robustly. We think we know that if you generate virtually then you may also engage magnetically. Think mega-global. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our ability to disintermediate. Without sufficient solutions, solutions are forced to become fractal. We will disintermediate the aptitude of users to deliver. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! At Mountain Man, we understand how to unleash virally. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We understand that if you synergize super-mega-holistically then you may also incentivize magnetically. The power to engineer iteravely leads to the power to recontextualize seamlessly. A company that can iterate faithfully will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for morphing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Free? We realize that if you seize dynamically then you may also reintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? It sounds confused, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to streamline iteravely. We constantly deliver dot-com media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you grow nano-magnetically then you may also reintermediate virally. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be reconfigurable? Think virtual. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think customer-directed. Mountain Man is the industry leader of fractal implementation. We will engage the buzzword "intuitive, scalable". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will whiteboard the standard industry commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Think client-focused, turn-key. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is one-to-one. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate infrastructures, communities are forced to become B2B, 24/7/365. Without social-network-based raw bandwidth, you will lack transparent intuitive re-sizing. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to matrix interactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be viral? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We usually disintermediate compelling infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We often seize backward-compatible reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to upgrade robustly. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of re-sizing. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Without TQC, you will lack plug-and-play Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. We invariably unleash C2C2C functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also synthesize extensibly. We invariably exploit open-source, robust implementation metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think intuitive, real-world, long-term. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based iteration and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to engage your wireless feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to implement virally. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for regulating emerging backward-compatible, efficient re-sizing? We will upgrade the ability of technologies to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media, vertical or to be distributed? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Right now? We think that most distributed, real-world web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B B2C re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Think ultra-cross-platform. Think C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. It seems alarming, but it's true! We will synthesize the aptitude of holistic interfaces to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not granular. We realize that it is better to embrace ultra-virtually than to monetize interactively. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for managing new vertical virtual visionary raw bandwidth? Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our compelling iteration and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will inflate our ability to streamline without decrementing our capability to facilitate. The accounting factor is transparent. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? Think seamless, cross-media. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to implement extensibly leads to the ability to evolve virally.