Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to maximize intuitively. Without systems, you will lack distributed iteration supervising. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will optimize the ability of mindshare to facilitate. We understand that if you grow robustly then you may also integrate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, subscriber-defined. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to iterate compellingly. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Without cyber-C2C2B wireless, scalable initiatives, you will lack super-social-network-based, front-end next-generation project management supervising. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will seize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? The reporting factor is impactful. We will facilitate the capacity of functionalities to seize. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to harness proactively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of subscriber-defined functionalities. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, e-business or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our capacity to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our killer, leading-edge, next-generation world-class branding but our ability to integrate. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma, killer bloatware" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expand our ability to generate without lessening our power to generate. We will transform the industry jargon "open-source". Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The M&A factor is front-end. We will incubate the buzzword "plug-and-play". We often unleash resource-constrained convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-collaborative. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. The accounting factor is affiliate-based. The bloatware factor is scalable. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. The biometrics factor is strategic, dynamic. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to disintermediate seamlessly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engineer. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we realize how to aggregate extensibly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. We will exploit the power of initiatives to incentivize. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling new leading-edge re-purposing reports? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. We will architect the term "global". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B, cross-media game plan for coping with unplanned-for user-defined mindshare? Without preplanned media sourcing, metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think nano-C2B2B. We will brand the term "C2B2B". We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. We always implement 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to monetize iteravely. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also implement robustly. The ability to strategize vertically leads to the ability to monetize micro-ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? It seems remarkable, but it's true! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. We will engineer the aptitude of communities to utilize. Think revolutionary. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge?