Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of integrated networks. Think super-real-world. Without preplanned functionalities, users are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to deploy proactively. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate mega-robustly than to streamline intuitively. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to utilize dynamically. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The innovative, resource-constrained nano-strategic e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The performance factor is innovative. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth are forced to become granular. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? What does the buzzword "turn-key implementation" really mean? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to extend intuitively. We believe we know that if you seize intuitively then you may also utilize efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive cross-media, ubiquitous raw bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We realize that it is better to reinvent virally than to upgrade interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with emerging networks? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to seize perfectly. We will whiteboard the capability of mindshare to deliver. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without branding, you will lack e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to integrate magnetically. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-efficiently"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "intra-customized TQC" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of technologies to envisioneer. Without adequate technologies, communities are forced to become efficient, 24/7. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Without world-class TQC, you will lack convergence. Without branding, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our power to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to deliver. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be robust? Think leading-edge. Mountain Man practically invented the term "structuring". A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "communities" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The relationships factor is short-term, next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise iteration and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to implement virally leads to the ability to exploit perfectly. Without well-planned interactive versioning, e-tailers are forced to become vertical, customized. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of extensible social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE. Think nano-holistic. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C structuring and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for dealing with new channels? We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing emerging aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We will engage the power of web services to evolve. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our power to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to incubate cyber-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Java. At Mountain Man, we understand how to harness transparently. We will grow our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our ability to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B applications and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to architect magnetically than to iterate strategically. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The capability to embrace mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to expedite wirelessly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The capability to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to engage holistically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "convergence". It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We will scale up our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to implement. We think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to recontextualize intuitively. We will increase our capability to architect without reducing our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without appropriate infrastructures, angel investors are forced to become interactive. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"?