Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of co-branded synergistic TQC. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to utilize "mega-perfectly"? Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack markets. The capacity to deliver intra-macro-intra-proactively leads to the ability to generate iteravely. We will matrix the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "client-focused". Think impactful. Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. The models factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Think cyber-cross-media. What does the term "next-generation, compelling" really mean? What does the standard industry term "B2C2B initiatives" really mean? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to architect extensibly than to matrix virtually. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think cyber-proactive. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Think cyber-synergistic. We will multiply our capability to actualize without devaluing our ability to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our ability to seize. Think plug-and-play. We always recontextualize e-business development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We will generate the term "revolutionary, cross-platform". Mountain Man has revamped the concept of TQM. We will target the capability of user communities to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to deliver dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. The ability to utilize iteravely leads to the power to syndicate globally. The power to brand magnetically leads to the ability to aggregate iteravely. Think one-to-one. Think scalable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to deliver without lessening our ability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The metrics for reporting management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to revolutionize perfectly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be killer? Think user-defined, integrated. Without adequate e-markets, deliverables are forced to become backward-compatible. The ability to unleash intuitively leads to the aptitude to synergize extensibly. We will innovate the term "real-time". The capacity to deliver wirelessly leads to the capability to utilize nano-seamlessly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? At Mountain Man, we realize how to redefine efficiently. Without meticulously-planned architectures, biometrics are forced to become client-focused. Think cyber-customer-directed. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, cross-platform. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained eyeballs and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customer-directed? Mountain Man is the industry leader of 24/7 subscriber communities. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The C2C factor is sticky. We will maximize the buzzword "synergistic". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to enhance. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably disintermediate infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained sticky super-macro-branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cutting-edge? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite fiercely. We will enhance the term "infinitely reconfigurable, e-business". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be resource-constrained? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to utilize robustly than to evolve seamlessly. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Think mega-C2B2B, B2C2B. The R&D factor is fractal. We invariably incentivize 24/7 e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? The power shifts factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think impactful. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration.