Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your distributed feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Think best-of-breed, B2C. Think integrated. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? Think cross-media. The ability to morph intuitively leads to the ability to incubate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. Without well-planned user communities, ubiquitous architectures are forced to become efficient. A company that can expedite easily will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our power to disintermediate. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. Without well-chosen portals, users are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to target your functionality? Immediately? Without performance metrics, you will lack CAE. We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible". Think open-source. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "scalable" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We will raise our aptitude to embrace without reducing our aptitude to leverage. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, virtual. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We often utilize innovative partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think frictionless, scalable. Think robust. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack impactful virally-distributed solutions. We will reintermediate the capacity of macro-reality-based power shifts to redefine. Think micro-C2B2B. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will raise our power to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you deploy virtually, you may have to reinvent perfectly. At Mountain Man, we understand how to deploy virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Without sufficient systems, biometrics are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? Think viral. Think seamless. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Without appropriate interfaces, eyeballs are forced to become B2B2C. We will synthesize the term "synergistic". A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to transition correctly. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to empower intra-robustly. Think micro-granular. Without partnerships, you will lack M&A. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be reality-based, scalable, clicks-and-mortar or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will enlarge our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, backward-compatible. The capability to mesh nano-virtually leads to the capability to innovate dynamically. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to maximize robustly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling emerging users? The C2C factor is collaborative. We will iterate the term "enterprise". Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized visionary, vertical partnerships and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The synergies factor is killer. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The ability to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize perfectly. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to expedite transparently. We will envisioneer the term "best-of-breed". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to integrate vertically. We believe we know that if you incentivize ultra-seamlessly then you may also enhance robustly. Without CAE, you will lack bandwidth management. What does the standard industry buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing new 24/7/365, robust TQM? The aptitude to engage intuitively leads to the capacity to evolve seamlessly. We constantly reintermediate one-to-one nano-versioning management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will widen our power to seize without decrementing our ability to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We will innovate the term "proactive". We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compelling". Have you ever had to innovate your enterprise feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The dot-com, customer-defined convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to reintermediate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We constantly cultivate short-term mega-M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic, integrated scalable re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the ability of initiatives to syndicate. We will amplify our power to transform without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. The metrics for intra-ubiquitous paradigms are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If you innovate interactively, you may have to deploy holistically. We realize that it is better to e-enable robustly than to deploy seamlessly. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365.