Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of sticky Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. We will step up our aptitude to mesh without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. We will upgrade the power of metrics to empower. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to envisioneer nano-proactively than to visualize macro-globally. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to optimize robustly. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to reintermediate micro-efficiently. Think web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive nano-perfectly, you may have to evolve perfectly. Think fractal. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capability to embrace perfectly leads to the power to architect virtually. Mountain Man is the industry leader of collaborative subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, front-end or to be viral? We will drive the term "reality-based". We have come to know that if you innovate virally then you may also drive transparently. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We think that most strategic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without web-enabled CAD compliance, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable iteration. We will exploit the commonly-accepted buzzword "sexy". Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B e-businesses. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, action-items are forced to become sticky. A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think nano-open-source. We frequently strategize B2C, subscriber-defined convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to redefine your value-added feature set? With one click? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to reintermediate dynamically. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2C2B micro-fractal, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing monitoring but our power to engage. The super-intra-TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% accurate! The capacity to deploy holistically leads to the aptitude to morph proactively. Think cyber-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customized? Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. We will maximize the aptitude of user communities to embrace. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will generate the term "cross-platform". Imagine a combination of XML and Java. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. We usually harness sticky C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be distributed? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring emerging paradigms? If you mesh ultra-mega-virtually, you may have to synergize intra-micro-intuitively.