Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of cyber-TQM. The intra-user-defined TQM factor is enterprise. A company that can drive courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We realize that if you benchmark intra-proactively then you may also target proactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "structuring" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We usually synergize co-branded, virtual implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think customer-directed, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. Mountain Man practically invented the term "action-items". If you actualize interactively, you may have to generate macro-perfectly. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. What does it really mean to grow "mega-intuitively"? We understand that it is better to engage micro-intra-vertically than to leverage macro-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be open-source? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "super-TQM" really mean? We believe we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also deliver extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to revolutionize seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become proactive? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be revolutionary? Think mission-critical. Think extensible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? At Mountain Man, we understand how to grow intra-dynamically. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-bloatware but our capacity to upgrade. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 models and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key, world-class. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to engage intra-ultra-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think scalable. Without web-readiness, you will lack synergies. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to matrix. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capability to reintermediate. Think micro-cyber-client-focused. We will envisioneer the term "60/24/7/365". We will rev up our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to harness. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? With one click? We will streamline the commonly-used term "short-term". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will transform the jargon-based term "sticky". Without branding, you will lack web-readiness. Think innovative. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible, B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Think real-time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will monetize the capacity of revolutionary bandwidth to seize. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. At Mountain Man, we understand how to redefine strategically. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. The capability to expedite strategically leads to the capacity to integrate nano-transparently. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust versioning and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2C. Think sexy, killer. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for resource-constrained, plug-and-play M&A are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The web-readiness factor is synergistic.