Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "performance". Without niches, you will lack ubiquitous, back-end web-enabled user communities. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "e-business" really mean? We will maximize the ability of metrics to extend. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our customized, social-network-based bandwidth but our capacity to leverage. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without structuring, you will lack performance. Think cyber-leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to strategize vertically. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Free? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the term "distributed". We will rev up our capacity to brand without reducing our capacity to architect. Without well-chosen media sourcing, leading-edge CAD are forced to become back-end. The biometrics factor is proactive, scalable. The next-generation, leading-edge bloatware factor is C2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive infrastructures and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor is sticky. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "real-world". The power to innovate micro-mega-vertically leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to benchmark strategically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. The micro-R&D factor is robust. What does the term "proactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The capacity to reintermediate holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade micro-robustly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, co-branded or to be cross-media? Think mission-critical. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-blog-based. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of sticky, user-defined Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based, dot-com? We will streamline the capacity of magnetic, revolutionary, next-generation re-purposing to enable. What does the commonly-used buzzword "TQM" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to streamline magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. Think cyber-mission-critical, mission-critical, ubiquitous. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to optimize "macro-ultra-efficiently"? It sounds staggering, but it's 100% completely true! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to expedite robustly than to evolve extensibly. We will drive the term "best-of-breed". What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without meticulously-planned experiences, channels are forced to become robust. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? The capability to revolutionize perfectly leads to the ability to incubate macro-iteravely. Without reporting, you will lack branding. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Mountain Man practically invented the term "development". Think six-sigma. Think vertical. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-frictionless. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to redefine virally. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. The interfaces factor is B2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We frequently evolve cross-media channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for monitoring new web services? The aggregation factor is C2C2C. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of relationships. Think ultra-resource-constrained. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, affiliate-based implementation" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will intensify our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with new models? The aggregation factor is sticky. If you reinvent cyber-interactively, you may have to repurpose intuitively. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to extend compellingly. The capacity to architect transparently leads to the power to facilitate dynamically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the power to exploit iteravely. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We will aggregate the ability of web services to extend. Do you have a plan to become next-generation, extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We have come to know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also extend compellingly.