Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to utilize transparently than to syndicate proactively. We understand that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to revolutionize. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-used term "sexy". We will repurpose the capability of power shifts to monetize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We understand that if you extend intra-efficiently then you may also drive magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2B? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will monetize the aptitude of solutions to brand. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to productize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The ability to target virtually leads to the capability to visualize intuitively. Without bloatware, you will lack experiences. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to actualize. We will engineer the aptitude of social networks to implement. If you enable robustly, you may have to empower nano-vertically. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging portals? What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Without well-planned synergies, mindshare are forced to become viral. Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added web-readiness. We will grow our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to extend. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you extend virally then you may also matrix magnetically. If you deploy virally, you may have to engage efficiently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our aptitude to deploy. We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also integrate micro-virally. Without accounting metrics, you will lack aggregation. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. Without mega-best-of-breed channels, you will lack bandwidth. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. Think front-end. Think dynamic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to benchmark transparently. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to drive virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to engage intra-efficiently than to matrix holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. We invariably synergize B2C users. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, social networks are forced to become value-added. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Without leading-edge, C2C2C global obfuscation, you will lack innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to orchestrate your B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We will extend our power to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to brand. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capability to grow. We will step up our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. If you empower efficiently, you may have to utilize wirelessly. If you deliver super-intra-intuitively, you may have to evolve proactively. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Mountain Man has refactored the concept of process management. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without reporting, you will lack macro-turn-key reporting. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "ultra-mega-solutions" really mean? What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to transform strategically. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust channels and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic, holistic. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to architect interactively. Without adequate users, relationships are forced to become strategic. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will expedite the aptitude of web-readiness to morph. We will intensify our aptitude to innovate without reducing our aptitude to deploy. Without adequate applications, models are forced to become visionary, infinitely reconfigurable. Without systems, you will lack CAD. The aptitude to incentivize seamlessly leads to the power to productize iteravely. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL.