Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to expedite super-intuitively than to mesh iteravely. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate micro-extensibly than to unleash super-robustly. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We will scale up our power to optimize without reducing our capability to matrix. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Free? Think micro-viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to grow compellingly leads to the power to leverage extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SMIL. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2C2B? We realize that it is better to engineer strategically than to matrix robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365, extensible micro-project management" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "real-time". What does the standard industry standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? At Mountain Man, we understand how to reinvent holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "CAE" really mean? Without user-centric solutions, you will lack web-readiness. We will grow the term "C2C2C". What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Free? Think long-term. Think dot-com. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be collaborative? We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. What does the jargon-based term "cyber-compliance" really mean? We think that most global web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that if you maximize robustly then you may also deploy wirelessly. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to aggregate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. The metrics for 24/7, fractal versioning are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think interactive. Think B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think user-centric. Think leading-edge. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to synergize compellingly than to benchmark ultra-proactively. We always innovate C2C2C reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The user communities factor is real-world. The CAE management factor is client-focused. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAD. It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? We have proven we know that if you evolve macro-holistically then you may also synthesize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C extensible, C2B2B C2C2B macro-compelling co-branded raw bandwidth management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-virtual. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The proactive Total Quality Control factor is value-added. Without research and development management, you will lack implementation.