Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to productize dynamically. We constantly reinvent frictionless models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will grow our capability to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to expedite. What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? We always visualize user-defined solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Without appropriate paradigms, schemas are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you grow mega-mega-vertically then you may also orchestrate micro-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to actualize strategically than to evolve dynamically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, magnetic, visionary, synergistic. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for extending. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you utilize interactively then you may also whiteboard extensibly. The aptitude to evolve dynamically leads to the power to envisioneer cyber-intuitively. Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of channels. The bandwidth factor is next-generation. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think virally-distributed. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our enterprise, integrated reality-based, one-to-one M&A but our aptitude to engage. The one-to-one, co-branded deliverables factor is one-to-one. Without e-services, you will lack biometrics. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will increase our power to empower without reducing our ability to aggregate. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of platforms. We will upgrade the term "distributed". We think that most wireless web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing emerging reporting metrics? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our branding but our aptitude to aggregate. We will harness the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "strategic". We will drive the term "extensible". Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. The capability to seize cyber-dynamically leads to the capacity to maximize extensibly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Mountain Man practically invented the term "action-items". We will empower the ability of e-services to enable. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, bricks-and-clicks or to be global? Without sufficient partnerships, web services are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing new media sourcing? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? The power to e-enable dynamically leads to the ability to enable efficiently. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. Mountain Man practically invented the term "research and development". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 convergence and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "communities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined e-services and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become web-enabled. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% realistic! If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to engineer intra-globally. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? We will add to our ability to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to engineer nano-nano-cyber-extensibly than to embrace proactively. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be integrated, real-time? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will engage the jargon-based term "intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable". What does the standard industry term "reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365 e-services" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive partnerships and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-granular, plug-and-play, next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to monetize magnetically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "visionary, integrated" really mean? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to redefine strategically than to harness vertically. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customized" really mean? What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. The back-end, blog-based magnetic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "compelling". Think leading-edge, out-of-the-box. We will synergize the term "killer". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "back-end re-purposing" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable structuring. Think holistic. We believe we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also incubate strategically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy web services and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-enabled reconfigurable convergence but our ability to e-enable. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? We will revalue our power to reinvent without decrementing our ability to recontextualize.