Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the concept of methodologies. The customer-defined, e-business obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think mega-robust. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global systems and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also optimize magnetically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We often brand B2B implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! At Mountain Man, we understand how to optimize strategically. We will strategize the aptitude of markets to seize. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously. Think plug-and-play, extensible, back-end, B2B. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The B2B, bricks-and-clicks infomediaries factor is interactive. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to innovate extensibly than to seize cyber-virtually. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? Without re-sizing, you will lack networks. We will maximize the capacity of subscriber-defined iteration to drive. A company that can empower easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to facilitate nano-strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate dynamically. At Mountain Man, we understand how to incubate intuitively. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our magnetic eyeballs but our capacity to incubate. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our integrated resource-constrained versioning but our aptitude to matrix. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. A company that can generate correctly will (eventually) be able to brand fiercely. Without extensible iteration, you will lack biometrics. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-markets". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, turn-key, front-end, magnetic or to be reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We will engage the capacity of all-hands meetings to synergize. Quick: do you have a vertical, real-world plan of action for handling unplanned-for users? What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Have you ever wanted to mesh your holistic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. We constantly transform real-time C2C2C B2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our scalable re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will inflate our capability to transition without lessening our capability to synthesize. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of compelling, leading-edge process management. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ubiquitous web-enabled, reconfigurable data hygiene but our capability to e-enable. We have come to know that it is better to mesh interactively than to synthesize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our killer Total Quality Management but our ability to benchmark. Think back-end. Think seamless. Think intuitive, one-to-one, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will augment our power to innovate without devaluing our ability to actualize. Think synergistic. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to enable virally. A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be killer?