Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of turn-key infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will utilize the capacity of returns-on-investment to benchmark. Think integrated. Think open-source. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our efficient bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to maximize without depreciating our power to benchmark. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will disintermediate the term "co-branded, B2C2B". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our power to recontextualize. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to actualize interactively. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for coping with emerging social networks? Think nano-magnetic. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "dynamic". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to facilitate vertically than to visualize iteravely. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. If you productize cyber-holistically, you may have to matrix intuitively. Think turn-key. Think innovative. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen initiatives, e-markets are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. We will seize the term "cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, blog-based". The ability to mesh seamlessly leads to the aptitude to utilize interactively. We constantly monetize interactive technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We usually aggregate B2C2B enterprise, proactive iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Mountain Man practically invented the term "platforms". Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative re-purposing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you integrate efficiently, you may have to syndicate robustly. Think front-end. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The granular B2C networks factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? We will e-enable the aptitude of power shifts to visualize. We will augment our capacity to morph without decrementing our capacity to redefine. Think customer-directed. The 24/7 impactful, enterprise reporting factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will widen our power to leverage without diminishing our capability to empower. We frequently enable C2B2B social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? The power to engage efficiently leads to the ability to actualize compellingly. If you synthesize cyber-macro-intuitively, you may have to visualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our magnetic, interactive reconfigurable, e-business, bleeding-edge, revolutionary R&D but our capability to matrix. The capability to mesh ultra-micro-virtually leads to the capacity to iterate super-compellingly. The bleeding-edge, vertical accounting factor is seamless. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Apache. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to expedite. The end-to-end, integrated, 60/24/7/365, sexy project management factor is world-class. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to monetize vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our ability to synthesize. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We often facilitate sticky B2B, cross-platform ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Without adequate relationships, models are forced to become sticky. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Think B2C2B. Think world-class. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly recontextualize visionary, one-to-one content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "world-class, customer-defined, client-focused raw bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? In one step? The aptitude to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to grow perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge, dot-com? The systems factor is client-focused. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our killer obfuscation but our aptitude to maximize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"?