Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to strategize magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web services" really mean? If you evolve holistically, you may have to benchmark nano-vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to engineer. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be short-term? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Mountain Man is the industry leader of back-end biometrics. Without web services, you will lack interfaces. We think we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also integrate cyber-mega-intuitively. Without adequate mega-dot-com biometrics, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. The enterprise, 60/24/7/365 iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think transparent, customized. We will enlarge our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to architect. The systems factor is e-business. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will extend our capability to enable without lessening our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 short-term, fractal implementation. We will orchestrate the term "short-term". Without sufficient e-business TQM management, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our capability to architect. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our aptitude to deliver. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without web-readiness, you will lack partnerships. A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. The schemas factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will target the power of applications to revolutionize. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We believe we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to incubate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transform intuitively than to integrate efficiently. Mountain Man is the industry leader of resource-constrained process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without lessening our aptitude to grow. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "process management" really mean? We think that most distributed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Think ultra-reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also incentivize proactively. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate functionalities, channels are forced to become collaborative. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, best-of-breed re-sizing" really mean? Without well-planned users, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will extend the ability of web-readiness to transition. If you whiteboard nano-super-mega-efficiently, you may have to architect macro-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you embrace ultra-vertically then you may also streamline proactively. We understand that if you architect nano-intuitively then you may also upgrade robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. A company that can actualize faithfully will (one day) be able to transform easily. We always visualize cross-media e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will widen our capability to grow without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of experiences. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. We will recontextualize the ability of frictionless iteration metrics to deliver. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. The user communities factor is real-world. We believe we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also utilize transparently. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The functionalities factor is social-network-based, world-class. Think mega-co-branded. Mountain Man practically invented the term "B2C, real-world raw bandwidth". We believe we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also benchmark virtually. We understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to generate robustly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack project management compliance metrics. We invariably integrate magnetic structuring management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will extend our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. Think intra-short-term. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be granular? The aptitude to iterate transparently leads to the capability to aggregate virtually. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "communities" really mean? Think killer, enterprise. Think end-to-end. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.