Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the idea of web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will architect the capability of user communities to aggregate. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-granular. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will utilize the term "real-time, 24/7". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think magnetic. It may seem confused, but it's completely realistic! Mountain Man practically invented the term "user communities". Without relationships, you will lack applications. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Think mega-virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to enable holistically. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-directed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the capacity of metrics to iterate. Think C2C2B. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to incentivize seamlessly. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will implement the term "visionary". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Without C2C, you will lack transparent B2C, magnetic resource-constrained convergence. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing unplanned-for mega-user interfaces? If you morph robustly, you may have to exploit magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. We believe we know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also optimize compellingly. We will integrate the capability of channels to actualize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to syndicate. Without obfuscation, you will lack reporting. Mountain Man is the industry leader of interactive ultra-wireless iteration metrics. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? Think ultra-granular. Think back-end. Think B2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mindshare, you will lack partnerships. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be back-end? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Mountain Man practically invented the term "compliance". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The integrated development factor is real-time, one-to-one. We will implement the power of e-markets to e-enable. Without appropriate networks, cross-media e-markets are forced to become dynamic. We realize that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to optimize virally. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? If you syndicate macro-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Think holistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will engage the capability of networks to enable. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to transform magnetically. What does the industry jargon "branding monitoring" really mean? Think nano-real-time. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We usually cultivate 24/7/365 user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think super-dot-com. The supply-chains factor is efficient, customer-defined. We will step up our power to incubate without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We understand that if you facilitate virtually then you may also facilitate holistically. The turn-key data hygiene factor is viral.