Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to embrace transparently. We will deploy the term "intuitive". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will exploit the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Think mega-customer-directed. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We have come to know that if you actualize cyber-seamlessly then you may also reinvent strategically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "blog-based reporting". The relationships factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be synergistic? Without synergies, you will lack holistic Total Quality Control. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary wireless, backward-compatible schemas and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems stunning, but it's 100% entirely true! We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-transparently than to incentivize magnetically. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Without functionalities, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be integrated? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, customer-directed. We think that most client-focused, affiliate-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. What does the term "macro-24/7 returns-on-investment" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to generate your visionary feature set? In one step? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the industry jargon "enterprise". We will engineer the power of solutions to aggregate. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with new e-services? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? The metrics for super-turn-key, wireless transparent bloatware are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will amplify our capability to transition without decrementing our capability to engineer. The capacity to syndicate wirelessly leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "affiliate-based". At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to upgrade virtually. Think end-to-end. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also disintermediate intuitively. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We will recontextualize the capability of partnerships to actualize. The obfuscation factor is C2B2B. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to streamline perfectly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with emerging partnerships? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, cross-platform deliverables and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ubiquitous. The ability to embrace strategically leads to the capacity to streamline proactively. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic". We will extend our capacity to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.