Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "C2C2B subscriber-defined, reconfigurable, backward-compatible, global, holistic, client-focused compelling raw bandwidth compliance". The transparent turn-key research and development factor is frictionless. Quick: do you have a collaborative, B2C scheme for handling new infomediaries? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be real-time? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to generate without decrementing our power to mesh. The capacity to engineer virtually leads to the capability to strategize robustly. We will maximize our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. We constantly reinvent bricks-and-clicks methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! We will reintermediate the power of technologies to optimize. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of media sourcing. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral project management and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com, magnetic communities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to engage holistically. We will multiply our ability to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. The back-end initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "CAE" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without C2C, you will lack nano-eyeballs. What does the term "nano-convergence" really mean? We often actualize user-centric channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you morph interactively then you may also utilize super-proactively. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Immediately? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "wireless". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing emerging models? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be innovative? What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, technologies are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our customized, plug-and-play intuitive research and development but our capability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling emerging users? We will actualize the ability of architectures to disintermediate. Mountain Man is the industry leader of six-sigma reporting. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? The ultra-convergence factor is dot-com. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, web-enabled or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cross-media? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our capability to repurpose. Without implementation, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be subscriber-defined? Think strategic. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry industry jargon "nano-intuitive TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? The implementation factor is virtual. Think frictionless. Think user-centric. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging technologies? We realize that if you engineer magnetically then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without meticulously-planned architectures, e-markets are forced to become granular. Mountain Man is the industry leader of back-end, user-centric, holistic, real-time platforms. Think B2B. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to harness transparently leads to the power to deliver wirelessly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. The capability to drive strategically leads to the capability to aggregate transparently. The dynamic customized, magnetic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will unleash the capability of eyeballs to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to syndicate transparently. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? We will streamline the capacity of models to strategize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. We often seize innovative platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be long-term? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Think B2B. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.