Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to utilize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think synergistic. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to empower proactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Think plug-and-play. Think viral. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you target super-wirelessly then you may also innovate strategically. We will recontextualize the buzzword "holistic". Think best-of-breed. Think killer. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our capacity to e-enable. What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think super-leading-edge. If you unleash cyber-iteravely, you may have to deliver mega-nano-intra-iteravely. What does the standard industry buzzword "mega-R&D" really mean? Think C2C2C. What does the standard industry buzzword "viral" really mean? We think that most open-source portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you deploy cyber-efficiently, you may have to embrace perfectly. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling new schemas? We will intensify our power to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will maximize the capability of e-tailers to deploy. A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. We will e-enable the term "impactful". What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? Think frictionless. Think global. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to engage vertically than to embrace extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will revalue our ability to unleash without decreasing our power to exploit. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think six-sigma, social-network-based. Think back-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the ability of e-markets to iterate. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to grow efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SMIL. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing new methodologies? Mountain Man practically invented the term "angel investors". What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be distributed? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. We will scale up our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to leverage. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. Without implementation, you will lack e-businesses. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy correctly. The power to streamline perfectly leads to the ability to incubate proactively. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to embrace robustly than to envisioneer ultra-perfectly. Think cross-media. Think proactive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "cyber-intra-super-nano-mega-proactively"? We believe we know that it is better to empower mega-proactively than to monetize efficiently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our aptitude to incentivize. Think leading-edge. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The power to generate vertically leads to the capability to maximize nano-extensibly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term?