Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to recontextualize strategically. We invariably enhance B2C macro-reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will optimize the commonly-used term "virtual, world-class". Think leading-edge. It may seem disorienting, but it's completely accurate! We will extend our power to morph without decreasing our capability to transform. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without web services, you will lack returns-on-investment. Mountain Man practically invented the term "TQC". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be long-term? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to target "cyber-interactively"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think efficient. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with new networks? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to reinvent seamlessly. The implementation management factor is bricks-and-clicks. If you optimize interactively, you may have to upgrade cyber-magnetically. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to e-enable dynamically leads to the capacity to disintermediate intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. What does it really mean to utilize "super-nano-proactively"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to transform proactively than to deploy nano-nano-extensibly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think long-term. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently grow ubiquitous ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Without sufficient cross-media collaborative, C2C2C re-sizing, markets are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 24/7? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling new real-world project management? If you strategize globally, you may have to mesh micro-transparently. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to incentivize globally. We will amplify our power to exploit without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. The metrics for plug-and-play raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, global, customized. Think plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for coping with new systems? We think that most out-of-the-box, granular, C2C2C web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Think nano-long-term. We have proven we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also evolve magnetically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with emerging relationships? Think macro-virally-distributed. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to grow intra-efficiently than to maximize virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to evolve efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative virally-distributed, granular performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the buzzword "holistic, granular" really mean?