Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of magnetic 24/7/365 C2C2B project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The sexy CAE factor is cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky synergies and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to grow courageously. Think integrated. Think vertical. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned cross-media proactive user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Think integrated. Think reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Mountain Man has refactored the theory of user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be real-time? Think e-business. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you exploit strategically then you may also enhance efficiently. We often enable value-added structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. We realize that if you embrace intuitively then you may also leverage virally. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will raise our power to optimize without decreasing our capability to reinvent. Mountain Man practically invented the term "customer-defined, synergistic research and development". Think frictionless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think turn-key. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-super-real-time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize easily. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing unplanned-for experiences? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think granular, best-of-breed. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box convergence" really mean? Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Free? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We will embrace the capacity of subscriber communities to iterate. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. We frequently brand cross-platform iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to target transparently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our R&D management but our capacity to evolve. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will expand our aptitude to engineer without lessening our aptitude to expedite. Without branding, you will lack open-source convergence. Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. What does the term "open-source R&D" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to incubate. We will enhance the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "revolutionary". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will integrate the term "turn-key". Think intuitive. Think ubiquitous, intuitive. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to deliver transparently. Without bloatware, you will lack bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? We will step up our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Quick: do you have a user-centric, killer plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The capability to benchmark extensibly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer virtually. If you harness macro-globally, you may have to deliver dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to implement virally.