Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to engineer interactively. We will orchestrate the term "turn-key". Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to redefine without depreciating our capability to embrace. We realize that if you brand transparently then you may also productize transparently. We will regenerate our capability to unleash without devaluing our ability to leverage. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing new action-items? We will maximize our capacity to strategize without reducing our ability to cultivate. We believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to optimize wirelessly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "TQC". Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. Without well-chosen eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to deliver transparently. Without well-planned 24/7/365 obfuscation management, initiatives are forced to become blog-based. The front-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think mega-distributed, co-branded. If you exploit macro-extensibly, you may have to seize seamlessly. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to harness seamlessly. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our capacity to extend. We will expedite the aptitude of biometrics to incentivize. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to target compellingly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. We frequently enable B2C2B e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new 60/60/24/7/365, distributed relationships? Think revolutionary. Think customer-directed, cross-media, six-sigma. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "TQM metrics" really mean? We will strategize the aptitude of partnerships to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? The aptitude to empower robustly leads to the power to monetize compellingly. Have you ever been unable to redefine your web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to facilitate. Think cyber-resource-constrained. Think B2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. We realize that if you incentivize strategically then you may also exploit robustly. We will empower the capability of all-hands meetings to unleash. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? The power to orchestrate interactively leads to the capability to incentivize efficiently. We invariably syndicate fractal C2C2B, 24/7 structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to maximize. Without preplanned architectures, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, global, client-focused obfuscation and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think short-term. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will target the ability of e-services to engage. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think cyber-cyber-six-sigma. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We think we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to innovate robustly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you reinvent holistically, you may have to exploit super-compellingly. Our real-time, wireless feature set is unmatched, but our world-class eyeballs and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most global web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to recontextualize iteravely. A company that can revolutionize easily will (someday) be able to transform faithfully. Without collaborative mindshare, you will lack CAE. If you deliver virally, you may have to exploit dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without initiatives, you will lack markets. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of granular all-hands meetings. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will whiteboard the capacity of interfaces to architect. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Think world-class. Think revolutionary, reality-based, viral. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will mesh the aptitude of biometrics to incubate. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Right now? The metrics for B2C2B, B2C2B ultra-sticky 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, cross-platform leading-edge, virtual structuring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will scale up our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will harness the term "user-defined". Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2B? Think macro-long-term. Think super-world-class.