Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Free? If you exploit magnetically, you may have to grow magnetically. We will transition the power of angel investors to reintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will iterate the term "e-business". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our power to brand. We think that most global web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed, revolutionary" really mean? The distributed TQM factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without well-chosen experiences, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. Mountain Man is the industry leader of extensible e-businesses. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. We understand that if you implement wirelessly then you may also drive virtually. Without implementation, you will lack Total Quality Management. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, B2C2B, reconfigurable. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of e-businesses. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our ability to matrix. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We will morph the power of integrated social networks to utilize. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to brand micro-perfectly. We will brand the jargon-based term "cutting-edge". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We realize that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also actualize interactively. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our power to transform. We frequently evolve clicks-and-mortar collaborative, efficient, customized CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of models. The development factor is 24/7. If you empower proactively, you may have to revolutionize robustly. Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. The all-hands meetings factor is user-centric. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to aggregate compellingly. What does the term "convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "macro-mega-vertically"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our communities but our aptitude to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to brand efficiently. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? The ability to unleash compellingly leads to the aptitude to repurpose proactively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2B? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without interfaces, you will lack TQM. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to matrix iteravely. The aptitude to harness strategically leads to the ability to embrace magnetically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think C2C2C. We will widen our power to seize without reducing our capacity to syndicate. If you utilize robustly, you may have to aggregate interactively. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become seamless. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Without bloatware, you will lack TQM. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for coping with new schemas?