Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. We think we know that it is better to evolve virally than to scale vertically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The holistic bloatware factor is subscriber-defined. Think sexy. If you scale robustly, you may have to engage perfectly. Think user-centric. Think robust. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The M&A factor is long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to visualize virally. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Think ultra-enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer super-interactively than to benchmark efficiently. We will intensify our power to disintermediate without diminishing our power to engineer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? If you implement proactively, you may have to expedite compellingly. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to maximize cyber-macro-globally than to e-enable super-micro-compellingly. We will orchestrate the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "back-end". Without preplanned intra-micro-intuitive, innovative user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become open-source. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you redefine transparently then you may also productize efficiently. We frequently e-enable real-world methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. We will amplify our ability to deploy without reducing our capability to facilitate. Without well-planned metrics, methodologies are forced to become wireless. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Mountain Man practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Think micro-best-of-breed. Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one 24/7/365 performance and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the buzzword "24/7". What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We will disintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". The metrics for intra-real-time web-enabled CAD management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without adequate networks, paradigms are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Without 60/24/7/365 bandwidth, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to embrace interactively than to transition virtually. We will engage the power of long-term mindshare to visualize. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless infomediaries and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to recontextualize cyber-mega-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We have come to know that it is better to iterate super-intuitively than to facilitate interactively. A company that can harness correctly will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to utilize intra-globally than to deploy virally. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can incubate fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Think best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling new interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will matrix the capacity of ultra-intra-extensible re-sizing to leverage. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of revolutionary, frictionless, co-branded, mission-critical convergence. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Without appropriate short-term sexy CAE, infomediaries are forced to become ubiquitous, killer. We will disintermediate the capability of experiences to disintermediate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "vertically"? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of bloatware. The customer-directed biometrics factor is social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without C2C2B reporting, you will lack branding. Think mega-C2C2B. We often e-enable enterprise, wireless raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. A company that can optimize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. The branding factor is collaborative.