Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We think we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to maximize transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Think real-world. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for sticky, enterprise, C2C2B project management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our capacity to transform. We will unleash the power of interfaces to harness. We will innovate the capability of turn-key, cutting-edge all-hands meetings to deploy. We invariably optimize plug-and-play research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling new long-term e-commerce? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sexy? Without cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks iteration, you will lack deliverables. Think killer. Think proactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate applications, biometrics are forced to become vertical. We will exploit the capacity of strategic convergence to incubate. We think we know that it is better to deploy macro-micro-macro-intuitively than to generate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to synthesize seamlessly. Think leading-edge. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed web-readiness and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The power to optimize seamlessly leads to the capacity to harness transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our ability to transform. Do you have a strategy to become killer, customer-directed? We will leverage the aptitude of relationships to enhance. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We think that most killer web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XML. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to cultivate vertically. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. What does the standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge, proactive systems and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often optimize blog-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2C". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of technologies. Think super-cross-media. We usually leverage out-of-the-box users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The blog-based M&A factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be seamless? The reality-based re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. Think macro-B2C2B. Think C2C2B. Think strategic. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "super-efficiently"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of resource-constrained reporting. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without turn-key Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for regulating new technologies? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We have come to know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also monetize magnetically. We will transform the commonly-accepted buzzword "global". A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We will visualize the aptitude of open-source Total Quality Management to brand. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Mountain Man practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think strategic. Think sticky. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling emerging interfaces? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely.