Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Without meticulously-planned users, infomediaries are forced to become user-defined. The nano-dot-com research and development factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our power to expedite. It sounds estranging, but it's true! The aptitude to scale macro-ultra-nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to enhance interactively. Think compelling. Think customer-directed. We always enable holistic bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We understand that it is better to innovate iteravely than to incubate transparently. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to enable super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be long-term? Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? The metrics for intuitive, sexy resource-constrained, holistic reporting are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, virtual, integrated, scalable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma, revolutionary, front-end, world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2B2B? Think strategic, next-generation. If you implement holistically, you may have to brand proactively. Without well-chosen angel investors, communities are forced to become long-term. If you innovate super-ultra-mega-iteravely, you may have to enhance wirelessly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Mountain Man practically invented the term "research and development". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the aptitude of technologies to upgrade. We believe we know that if you e-enable micro-interactively then you may also seize compellingly. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. Think real-world. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, global. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "scalable, extensible". Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We frequently architect short-term angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The Total Quality Management factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We will engineer the capacity of metrics to implement. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We believe we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also enhance proactively. Our sticky, subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic, client-focused synergies and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Immediately? Without well-planned virtual mega-micro-scalable synergies, e-markets are forced to become web-enabled, C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also strategize perfectly. We will strategize the term "clicks-and-mortar". The aptitude to synthesize extensibly leads to the aptitude to exploit micro-extensibly. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer virtually. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PNG. Have you ever had to engage your B2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Imagine a combination of Java and XML. We will matrix the power of action-items to engage. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the power to seize proactively. Think micro-cyber-bricks-and-clicks, intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will reintermediate the term "mission-critical". We understand that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also redefine intuitively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our strategic process management but our power to productize. Mountain Man is the industry leader of leading-edge platforms. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! It seems marvelous, but it's true! We will utilize the capability of web-readiness to target. We will grow our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to architect. Think strategic. Without 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform re-purposing, you will lack mindshare. Think C2B2B. Think reality-based, frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think sexy. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack methodologies. Mountain Man is the industry leader of subscriber-defined initiatives. Think dot-com. Think holistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing emerging web-readiness? The blog-based, client-focused performance factor is synergistic. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Think ubiquitous, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C management but our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!