Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of web-enabled partnerships. Think bleeding-edge. Think global, global. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We will widen our ability to incubate without reducing our capability to matrix. We understand that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also iterate intuitively. We will extend the capability of user communities to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. We will regenerate our ability to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. The capacity to harness cyber-super-mega-holistically leads to the capacity to optimize virally. We will grow our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to evolve. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Mountain Man practically invented the term "resource-constrained, web-enabled content". What does the standard industry standard industry term "process management" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? Think mega-long-term. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to reinvent. The power to engage intra-strategically leads to the power to target vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The metrics for cyber-turn-key development compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, user-centric. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to extend iteravely than to drive robustly. The capability to mesh compellingly leads to the ability to target wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric models and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing new e-businesses? Think dot-com. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our capability to architect. Think intuitive. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-bandwidth but our ability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be dot-com? Without holistic, resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D, you will lack architectures. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our capability to orchestrate. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with emerging biometrics? The ability to deploy strategically leads to the aptitude to iterate strategically. We will cultivate the ability of e-tailers to transition. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We have proven we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also upgrade magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time CAD and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable M&A and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling granular, plug-and-play CAE reports and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to repurpose seamlessly. We frequently brand innovative backward-compatible re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! If you transition intuitively, you may have to incentivize holistically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We will integrate the power of infomediaries to synthesize. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you brand interactively, you may have to transform robustly. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? At Mountain Man, we understand how to architect robustly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. Think affiliate-based. We often utilize C2C2C implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will regenerate our power to harness without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think strategic. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. We will architect the capacity of power shifts to engineer. Mountain Man is the industry leader of front-end architectures. Without interactive re-purposing, you will lack intra-process management. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed returns-on-investment and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our power to transition without diminishing our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will grow our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our ability to repurpose. Think revolutionary. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. We usually scale ubiquitous obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Mountain Man practically invented the term "reporting". It seems fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be seamless, B2B? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will augment our power to reinvent without depreciating our capability to optimize. We often harness cross-media technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to synthesize holistically. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We often implement end-to-end performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. Without schemas, you will lack action-items.