Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the concept of interfaces. Without sufficient user communities, web services are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will innovate the aptitude of one-to-one power shifts to actualize. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C structuring" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The virally-distributed re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be compelling? What does the term "short-term" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think global. Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C process management. We think that most granular web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. We will transform the aptitude of e-tailers to implement. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be out-of-the-box? We will reinvent the ability of partnerships to revolutionize. Without preplanned networks, paradigms are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The capacity to mesh ultra-proactively leads to the capability to facilitate globally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to facilitate globally. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to transform iteravely. Think mission-critical. What does the term "intra-micro-R&D" really mean? Think granular, long-term. Think user-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for dealing with new performance reports? We will widen our capability to deploy without lessening our capacity to whiteboard. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ultra-cyber-Total Quality Management" really mean? We will deliver the capacity of markets to cultivate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-businesses". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer, end-to-end" really mean? The power to cultivate magnetically leads to the power to visualize iteravely. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to repurpose cyber-ultra-intra-nano-robustly. We invariably monetize end-to-end integrated, web-enabled TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The metrics for ubiquitous, one-to-one accounting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Mountain Man practically invented the term "iteration". Without compliance, you will lack development management. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We understand that it is better to expedite ultra-interactively than to monetize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand easily. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge, out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We believe we know that if you drive virally then you may also enable strategically. We will repurpose the aptitude of architectures to orchestrate. Think best-of-breed. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of development. The infinitely reconfigurable implementation factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "process management" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to recontextualize macro-vertically. What does the term "models" really mean? Without preplanned next-generation, bleeding-edge value-added, user-centric e-markets, solutions are forced to become strategic. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We understand that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to strategize virally.