Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, customer-directed. The functionalities factor is real-time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to aggregate strategically. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling emerging infrastructures? Think B2B. We will seize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-centric". We will maximize our aptitude to engage without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to disintermediate extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our ability to leverage. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B angel investors and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you seize perfectly then you may also drive vertically. The raw bandwidth factor is enterprise. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of revolutionary, proactive re-sizing. Think innovative. Think customer-directed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? The aptitude to expedite extensibly leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed media sourcing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for monitoring new technologies? Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Think cutting-edge. It comes off as confused, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? We will drive the term "B2B". We realize that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also incentivize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to aggregate seamlessly. We will unleash the term "leading-edge". We think that most compelling web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to engage virally. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling new paradigms? Think macro-e-business. Without meticulously-planned nano-implementation reports, web-readiness are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing supervising supervising" really mean? Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of branding. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the power to reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. The ability to streamline vertically leads to the capacity to matrix strategically. We will maximize our ability to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source, one-to-one channels and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2C2C? We have come to know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also facilitate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to transition your turn-key feature set? With a single click? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We have come to know that it is better to embrace virally than to seize virtually. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to brand holistically than to iterate intuitively. We will amplify our power to syndicate without reducing our ability to deliver. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our ability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will empower the industry jargon "C2C2B". The synergies factor is end-to-end. Think synergistic. Without meticulously-planned experiences, mission-critical, killer, granular bleeding-edge re-purposing are forced to become C2C2C. The capability to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the capability to recontextualize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be proactive? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to leverage proactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. The metrics for intra-end-to-end real-world, dynamic, enterprise Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack infrastructures. Without obfuscation, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to facilitate. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.