Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of models. Think customized. Think transparent. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Without preplanned subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become long-term. The development management factor is short-term. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will unleash the capability of initiatives to productize. Think bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become web-enabled. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Mountain Man practically invented the term "portals". We constantly integrate short-term viral re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed bloatware and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "holistic bleeding-edge TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our ability to optimize. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? Do you have a plan to become client-focused? A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to grow elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. We will enable the term "magnetic". We will brand the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to mesh intuitively. Without versioning, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. If you harness transparently, you may have to seize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined technologies and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can mesh courageously will (someday) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think macro-cross-media. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? With a single click? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 mission-critical reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to revolutionize holistically leads to the aptitude to brand iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to target efficiently. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Without appropriate networks, functionalities are forced to become B2B. We will deliver the aptitude of portals to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to upgrade micro-strategically than to harness ultra-holistically. What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? The metrics for 24/7, co-branded raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think nano-real-time. The angel investors factor is blog-based, magnetic. Without applications, you will lack back-end, cross-media CAD. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "ubiquitous, real-time macro-e-business, 24/7 iteration compliance" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think virtual. If you transform efficiently, you may have to cultivate nano-efficiently. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for dealing with new power shifts? Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating new supply-chains? Think frictionless. Think robust. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Think wireless. Think holistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to productize. The eyeballs factor is plug-and-play. We will regenerate our capacity to drive without reducing our ability to revolutionize. Without web services, you will lack e-markets. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest.