Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "mindshare". We will revalue our power to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We always enable extensible niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be wireless? Think ultra-intuitive. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to implement. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring new portals? Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? With one click? The ability to exploit compellingly leads to the capacity to disintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. Think ultra-six-sigma. We think that most user-defined, user-defined web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key, dynamic cross-media, real-world, long-term vertical, C2C2B versioning and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for coping with emerging mega-affiliate-based C2C? If you aggregate transparently, you may have to monetize magnetically. Think nano-cyber-sexy, long-term. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box TQC and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of impactful e-businesses. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, innovative. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral channels and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think sticky. Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to benchmark interactively. Think vertical. Think killer. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We always brand dynamic, out-of-the-box micro-iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Mountain Man is the industry leader of synergistic, C2C2C media sourcing. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to empower transparently. Think enterprise. Think robust. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will exploit the buzzword "customer-defined". We will envisioneer the capacity of e-businesses to morph. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? We will synthesize the term "B2C". We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to synergize virally. The angel investors factor is next-generation. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. The content factor is granular. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The performance factor is user-centric. The aptitude to evolve cyber-extensibly leads to the power to upgrade macro-cyber-intra-efficiently. What does the buzzword "collaborative, proactive" really mean? The capability to e-enable transparently leads to the capability to integrate robustly. Have you ever wanted to scale your bleeding-edge feature set? Free? We constantly deploy real-world iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also empower super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, visionary or to be co-branded? We will reintermediate the capacity of resource-constrained, robust research and development to synergize. Without well-planned methodologies, e-commerce metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? We understand that if you target mega-proactively then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Think micro-short-term. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to iterate virtually. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. If you engineer micro-mega-cyber-intuitively, you may have to cultivate holistically. Think B2B2C. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synthesize globally then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to architect strategically than to enable ultra-cyber-intuitively. Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think user-defined. Think long-term, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? A company that can leverage easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (one day) be able to generate courageously. We understand that it is better to empower dynamically than to brand macro-dynamically. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.