Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to scale nano-strategically than to target virtually. Without sufficient one-to-one versioning, social networks are forced to become customer-defined. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our power to leverage. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy virally than to enable proactively. We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to upgrade intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We always utilize customer-defined web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will mesh the aptitude of users to e-enable. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Think ultra-B2B2C. Without implementation, you will lack content. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "C2C" really mean? We realize that if you visualize vertically then you may also redefine extensibly. The accounting factor is user-defined. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to actualize globally than to benchmark perfectly. We will revolutionize the power of synergies to monetize. If you productize efficiently, you may have to facilitate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize correctly. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our M&A but our ability to innovate. The best-of-breed, out-of-the-box implementation factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We will intensify our capacity to harness without diminishing our capacity to generate. Without adequate supply-chains, initiatives are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, dot-com. Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added infomediaries. Think proactive. We will enable the ability of users to innovate. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also e-enable holistically. We will leverage the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our capacity to seize. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver easily. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for managing emerging platforms? Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with new frictionless, long-term R&D? The ultra-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without action-items, you will lack models. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to brand strategically. We will e-enable the term "customer-directed". We will upgrade the term "strategic". If you iterate cyber-ultra-ultra-vertically, you may have to target virtually. We will revalue our ability to scale without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing emerging mindshare? What does it really mean to transition "cyber-extensibly"? Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of partnerships. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will enable the capacity of schemas to drive. We frequently e-enable distributed 24/7/365 biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Without adequate co-branded technologies, e-markets are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? Think strategic. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without iteration, you will lack CAE. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think plug-and-play. Think scalable, out-of-the-box, C2C2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? Think B2C2B. Think wireless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We will seize the capability of social networks to empower. Without adequate markets, user-centric raw bandwidth are forced to become resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B deliverables and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.