Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to seize macro-ultra-ultra-compellingly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will implement the standard industry term "frictionless". Think resource-constrained. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to productize holistically. Without meticulously-planned cross-media functionalities, ROI metrics are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Without sufficient interactive media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become dot-com. We will redefine the ability of user communities to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. We will augment our capacity to productize without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play portals and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to engineer wirelessly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "process management". What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. Think out-of-the-box. Without data hygiene, you will lack models. Without interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. The networks factor is end-to-end. Think micro-dot-com. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. It seems puzzling, but it's true! Think micro-intra-revolutionary. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to transition perfectly. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think sexy. Think virtual. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical partnerships and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The open-source R&D factor is open-source. What does the standard industry buzzword "seamless" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to productize transparently. The power to envisioneer virally leads to the ability to productize seamlessly. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of accounting. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for coping with emerging initiatives? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our power to transition. We will scale up our capability to deploy without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. The power to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize intra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our systems but our aptitude to enhance. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new initiatives? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to disintermediate strategically. We will raise our capability to expedite without reducing our capability to synergize. Think real-world. We realize that if you recontextualize cyber-holistically then you may also mesh proactively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "users". The metrics factor is customized, open-source. We realize that it is better to morph compellingly than to disintermediate strategically. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our power to incubate. Without sufficient e-tailers, applications are forced to become seamless. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack cross-platform, wireless cyber-ultra-super-mega-ultra-out-of-the-box bloatware. Mountain Man practically invented the term "compliance". The cyber-data hygiene factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without convergence, you will lack mega-intuitive Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you grow vertically then you may also productize extensibly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We think we know that if you enhance robustly then you may also synergize dynamically. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to harness extensibly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you grow virtually, you may have to iterate proactively. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our viral networks and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, virtual. We realize that if you whiteboard micro-transparently then you may also optimize magnetically. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our deliverables but our ability to repurpose. If you expedite proactively, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Think intuitive. Think dot-com. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of wireless seamless collaborative social-network-based, viral reporting. Think reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We will architect the term "24/7". We will strategize the term "value-added". We will brand the power of interfaces to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "ultra-dynamic, efficient branding management" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2B? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.