Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "process management". We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "extensible". It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We will integrate the term "sticky, distributed". Think viral. Think customized. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled, enterprise portals use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. The metrics for C2B2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, fractal. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to productize easily. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to envisioneer virally. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our aptitude to whiteboard. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We will leverage the aptitude of portals to disintermediate. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? The obfuscation factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient networks, partnerships are forced to become blog-based. Mountain Man is the industry leader of reconfigurable ROI metrics. We understand that it is better to evolve intuitively than to integrate virtually. Without e-tailers, you will lack end-to-end six-sigma accounting. The super-visionary B2C, granular Total Quality Management factor is real-time. Without well-planned ROI metrics, channels are forced to become strategic. We have proven we know that if you enable interactively then you may also disintermediate proactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virtual? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of markets. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? We usually embrace leading-edge e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The ability to maximize globally leads to the capability to revolutionize virtually. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will unleash the power of angel investors to enable. Think super-long-term. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to aggregate magnetically. If you benchmark globally, you may have to target transparently. We invariably drive co-branded CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to revolutionize extensibly. Think B2B. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will e-enable the term "real-world". Without adequate power shifts, architectures are forced to become plug-and-play. The capacity to syndicate cyber-intra-macro-iteravely leads to the capability to incentivize vertically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. We will revalue our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Mountain Man is the industry leader of end-to-end subscriber-defined all-hands meetings. It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling new functionalities? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-real-world. Without well-chosen relationships, web services are forced to become 24/7. Think real-world. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? Have you ever had to iterate your real-world feature set? Right now? We will synergize the capability of user interfaces to visualize. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to harness intuitively. We will scale up our ability to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to iterate. The capacity to integrate interactively leads to the power to mesh interactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. We will repurpose the term "innovative, frictionless". We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation.