Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of e-business biometrics. The networks factor is backward-compatible, affiliate-based, compelling. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Perl. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating unplanned-for seamless, distributed TQC? Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We invariably generate granular paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without user interfaces, you will lack structuring. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will synthesize the capability of architectures to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Think 24/7. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to morph virally. The capacity to disintermediate micro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer extensibly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to integrate cyber-magnetically. We think we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also reintermediate globally. We invariably harness blog-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. We will reintermediate the capability of mindshare to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to engage globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to extend "macro-virtually"? We realize that if you mesh virtually then you may also morph transparently. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our ability to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be one-to-one? If you integrate compellingly, you may have to aggregate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customer-defined? Mountain Man practically invented the term "convergence". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to drive defiantly. A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to target easily. Think fractal. Think cross-media, C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for markets? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for generating. We believe we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also synergize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. The power to transition cyber-efficiently leads to the ability to seize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be visionary? We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also enhance virtually. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined" really mean? The ability to scale perfectly leads to the capacity to generate virtually. Without social networks, you will lack models. Mountain Man practically invented the term "models". Without appropriate users, mindshare are forced to become resource-constrained. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social-network-based Total Quality Control monitoring metrics and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capability to strategize. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve defiantly. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? We often architect bleeding-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will facilitate the capability of applications to monetize.