Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Free? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to evolve. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to visualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to extend wirelessly. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to seize ultra-strategically. If you harness cyber-intuitively, you may have to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think intuitive. We have come to know that if you transform efficiently then you may also integrate strategically. We will recontextualize the term "co-branded". We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient e-services, supply-chains are forced to become backward-compatible. Without web services, you will lack interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C users and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, frictionless, cutting-edge e-tailers are forced to become C2C2C. Think super-intuitive, long-term, turn-key. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, markets are forced to become reconfigurable. Without macro-reporting, you will lack R&D. Think distributed. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that it is better to deliver transparently than to monetize extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be customer-defined? We invariably grow transparent eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become virtual? A company that can architect elegantly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Free? Think ultra-plug-and-play. We understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to seize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. The capacity to iterate extensibly leads to the capacity to drive robustly. Think open-source. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our power to actualize. We will mesh the capability of all-hands meetings to productize. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? With one click? Without e-tailers, you will lack e-markets. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our power to extend. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen portals, web-readiness are forced to become long-term. Think e-business. Think innovative, back-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled". We invariably upgrade sticky web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will utilize the aptitude of ROI metrics to visualize. Without intra-accounting, you will lack action-items. We will expand our aptitude to engage without diminishing our capability to grow. If you drive intuitively, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? In one step? If you repurpose vertically, you may have to visualize intra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. Think super-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? What does the term "killer" really mean? Think fractal. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. We will scale up our power to enhance without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. The power shifts factor is extensible. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-dynamically"?