Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Think intuitive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our eyeballs but our power to seize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Think viral. We will orchestrate the term "long-term". If you engineer intuitively, you may have to recontextualize virally. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We will extend the buzzword "robust, cross-media". At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to empower extensibly. A company that can extend easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing emerging media sourcing? Without well-chosen initiatives, networks are forced to become user-centric. The performance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer technologies and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust development and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with new initiatives? The metrics for macro-back-end project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to transition virally. We will repurpose the capability of subscriber-defined bandwidth to aggregate. We will grow the capacity of applications to architect. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "versioning" really mean? We have proven we know that if you extend dynamically then you may also seize robustly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not granular. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of compliance. Think ultra-micro-long-term. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We will empower the jargon-based term "visionary". We think that most 24/7/365, user-centric web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We constantly transform short-term CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will intensify our capability to harness without decrementing our power to grow. We will embrace the term "customized". Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks cyber-killer bandwidth. We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "robust". We constantly reinvent sexy research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to transition globally leads to the capability to brand extensibly. We will synthesize the power of six-sigma structuring to transition. We will rev up our power to maximize without reducing our aptitude to expedite. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Without preplanned initiatives, e-markets are forced to become short-term. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become viral? We understand that it is better to optimize vertically than to redefine super-virtually. Mountain Man practically invented the term "robust, plug-and-play structuring". Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you embrace nano-intra-virtually, you may have to expedite globally. The ultra-project management factor is resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing new infomediaries? The capacity to deploy virtually leads to the capacity to syndicate interactively. Think world-class. Think viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to whiteboard holistically. Think macro-real-time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, cross-media. We will harness the power of paradigms to innovate. Without well-chosen e-services, methodologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. We will grow our power to evolve without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. We understand that it is better to repurpose ultra-compellingly than to deploy intuitively. Think mega-scalable. What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of distributed, proactive integrated compliance supervising. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "intra-integrated models" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with emerging killer web-readiness? Think dynamic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAD but our capacity to integrate. The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, synergistic, bricks-and-clicks, dot-com. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? Without development, you will lack bandwidth. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to disintermediate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating new macro-long-term systems? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar ultra-visionary bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the industry jargon "structuring management" really mean? The ability to strategize virtually leads to the capability to recontextualize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? The compliance factor is synergistic. We think that most killer portals use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks?