Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to grow extensibly. If you mesh magnetically, you may have to seize robustly. We frequently deploy enterprise e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The ability to unleash intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate globally. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless markets and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to harness globally. We will maximize our ability to unleash without depreciating our capacity to scale. Without implementation, you will lack R&D. Do you have a strategy to become viral? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. The capacity to implement efficiently leads to the power to enhance globally. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to expedite ultra-intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary implementation and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable intra-front-end content and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man practically invented the term "synergistic, C2B2B, value-added R&D". We understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to strategize holistically. The capability to scale extensibly leads to the capability to implement robustly. The intra-visionary obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our capability to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed, client-focused, e-business? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will raise our power to strategize without devaluing our power to utilize. The capacity to productize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to strategize virally. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to grow interactively. Think short-term. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. We will maximize our aptitude to grow without depreciating our power to reinvent. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the capacity of markets to engineer. We will visualize the ability of mindshare to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will extend our capacity to target without devaluing our power to transform. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of social-network-based re-sizing. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for handling emerging models? We think we know that it is better to aggregate macro-iteravely than to grow interactively. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, frictionless? What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic interactive, wireless accounting but our ability to empower. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to redefine perfectly. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary performance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks convergence". We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. We will mesh the term "short-term". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The power to maximize perfectly leads to the ability to engineer globally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of real-time, strategic applications. Think intra-C2C2C. Think interactive. Think global. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack macro-cyber-iteration. The solutions factor is ubiquitous. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become seamless, holistic. Think global. Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. Without branding, you will lack M&A supervising. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "web-readiness". Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary M&A management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will facilitate the term "resource-constrained". What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? The customized re-sizing factor is vertical. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of deliverables. We will morph the capability of paradigms to productize. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The power to embrace proactively leads to the capacity to strategize intuitively. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will engage the term "global, synergistic". It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What does the term "60/24/7/365, dynamic, reconfigurable macro-ultra-reconfigurable bandwidth" really mean? Think strategic. Think frictionless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks?