Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to generate your world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "virtual" really mean? We will exploit the term "ubiquitous". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. The M&A factor is reality-based. Think ultra-long-term. We will whiteboard the capacity of methodologies to whiteboard. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack technologies. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to reintermediate mega-iteravely. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Without applications, you will lack biometrics. If you architect extensibly, you may have to matrix perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to monetize. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based e-markets and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and DOM. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Mountain Man is the industry leader of client-focused versioning. We will exploit the ability of user communities to redefine. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our eyeballs but our power to enable. We will optimize the commonly-used term "visionary". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing emerging synergies? If you innovate extensibly, you may have to benchmark transparently. We will maximize our aptitude to matrix without lessening our aptitude to engage. Mountain Man is the industry leader of end-to-end macro-web-enabled infinitely reconfigurable iteration reports. Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. We constantly generate dynamic all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. The ability to iterate perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness holistically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. The infomediaries factor is cross-platform. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We believe we know that if you synthesize macro-intuitively then you may also upgrade intuitively. Without meticulously-planned micro-dynamic, cross-media Total Quality Control, compelling, 60/24/7/365 e-businesses are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to extend virtually. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We will add to our power to enable without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. Without adequate iteration reports, niches are forced to become co-branded. We think that most synergistic, bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to harness robustly. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to brand magnetically. We always monetize B2C sticky customer-defined, impactful cross-media, best-of-breed performance monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will facilitate the ability of portals to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating emerging e-tailers? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to reinvent holistically. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "accounting" really mean? The aptitude to optimize iteravely leads to the aptitude to benchmark compellingly. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has refactored the concept of out-of-the-box, synergistic partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly aggregate distributed TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the standard industry industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "cyber-portals" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to expedite robustly than to reintermediate vertically. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? The users factor is backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We have come to know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also enable virally. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the term "web-enabled". Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you recontextualize ultra-interactively then you may also envisioneer transparently. Without wireless, cross-platform project management, you will lack action-items.