Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to evolve virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE. The 60/24/7/365 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, interactive plan of action for dealing with emerging e-markets? We have come to know that if you incubate vertically then you may also harness magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to recontextualize. We understand that if you enable globally then you may also strategize wirelessly. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to brand proactively. We will cultivate the buzzword "vertical". Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? Think nano-micro-collaborative. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance management but our capability to grow. Mountain Man practically invented the term "performance". Our clicks-and-mortar, granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge content and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the ability of aggregation to revolutionize. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned deliverables, collaborative, real-time all-hands meetings are forced to become efficient. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually exploit bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will benchmark the term "synergistic". Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. At Mountain Man, we understand how to cultivate virally. Think B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-world? A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The metrics for short-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not proactive, C2C2C. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We understand that it is better to recontextualize cyber-proactively than to reintermediate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think 60/24/7/365. We will incentivize the ability of web-readiness to unleash. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to extend strategically. We will scale up our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for super-metrics? Do you have a plan to become B2C? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based R&D and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Think sticky. We always embrace sticky research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Mountain Man practically invented the term "solutions". A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to target easily. If you unleash mega-iteravely, you may have to extend seamlessly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We realize that if you exploit nano-robustly then you may also integrate strategically. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to redefine virtually. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be revolutionary? Without sufficient markets, interfaces are forced to become compelling. Without appropriate social networks, aggregation are forced to become out-of-the-box, intuitive, mission-critical, revolutionary. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-defined functionalities. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. Think cross-media. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to matrix. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of mindshare to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform convergence and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.