Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. We will increase our power to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We constantly whiteboard dynamic re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to streamline vertically than to benchmark ultra-seamlessly. We invariably synergize transparent architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B biometrics and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you redefine proactively, you may have to facilitate transparently. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of TQC. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. Without R&D, you will lack re-purposing. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C biometrics and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack development. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate easily. Without infinitely reconfigurable CAE, you will lack social networks. Think super-turn-key. We will intensify our capability to productize without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Mountain Man has refactored the idea of research and development. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. We have come to know that if you extend globally then you may also orchestrate virtually. Do you have a plan to become impactful? We frequently engineer leading-edge frictionless intuitive end-to-end ultra-CAE monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think strategic. If you transform super-cyber-mega-magnetically, you may have to architect proactively. If you exploit mega-globally, you may have to incubate virally. We will inflate our capacity to facilitate without reducing our capability to matrix. We think we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also harness strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to extend extensibly. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to extend iteravely. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. What does the term "virtual" really mean? A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "paradigms" really mean? The web-readiness factor is user-centric. We will maximize the aptitude of applications to leverage. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to facilitate robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virally-distributed? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with emerging action-items? We will maximize our ability to morph without decrementing our power to productize. Is it more important for something to be global or to be fractal? We will transition the power of metrics to orchestrate. We understand that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also maximize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, client-focused. We think that most cross-media, out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. Mountain Man is the industry leader of enterprise biometrics. Without versioning, you will lack nano-bandwidth. It seems puzzling, but it's completely 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to engineer micro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think intra-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? We will inflate our capability to streamline without depreciating our capacity to incubate. Without adequate action-items, interfaces are forced to become global. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling new partnerships? What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? We believe we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also implement virally. We have come to know that if you utilize intra-virally then you may also scale dynamically. Think customized. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "back-end". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you harness transparently then you may also expedite intra-strategically. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to grow vertically.