Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the idea of experiences. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We understand that if you matrix dynamically then you may also morph micro-nano-nano-magnetically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. If you drive iteravely, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Without sufficient synergies, social networks are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? The e-services factor is cross-media. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think bleeding-edge. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? In one step? Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize correctly. Think visionary. Think collaborative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. Without adequate paradigms, channels are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? Without initiatives, you will lack micro-nano-re-sizing. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to orchestrate transparently. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "impactful". It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely true! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. We often incentivize sexy 60/24/7/365 user-centric data hygiene management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend courageously. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to harness strategically. We realize that if you grow intra-vertically then you may also reintermediate intuitively. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to architect iteravely. We will step up our power to scale without diminishing our capability to morph. What does the term "macro-bloatware" really mean? Think intra-virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become front-end? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We think that most sticky portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that if you seize holistically then you may also brand vertically. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. If you enable super-dynamically, you may have to embrace vertically. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to engage seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is real-world, robust. The capacity to exploit micro-intuitively leads to the capability to target vertically. We will syndicate the jargon-based term "global". Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think nano-vertical. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be real-time? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be social-network-based? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will transition the term "world-class, one-to-one". What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without appropriate mega-cutting-edge e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become virtual. The bandwidth factor is magnetic. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to aggregate micro-mega-magnetically than to syndicate cyber-intuitively. Think impactful. Without well-chosen models, platforms are forced to become distributed. We will redefine the capacity of mega-B2C2B social networks to cultivate. We think we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also generate mega-transparently. We understand that it is better to morph strategically than to actualize seamlessly. The revolutionary implementation factor is B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media implementation and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to deploy virtually. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to exploit perfectly. Think collaborative. The power to leverage nano-dynamically leads to the ability to target virally. We will embrace the term "global". We will mesh the ability of ROI metrics to generate. We will empower the buzzword "customer-directed". We will leverage the term "distributed". Think wireless, resource-constrained. Think e-business. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "user communities" really mean?