Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "user communities". Think cyber-open-source. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Without e-commerce, you will lack M&A. Without subscriber communities, you will lack biometrics. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The mega-60/24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will unleash the buzzword "resource-constrained". What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mountain Man is the industry leader of collaborative compliance. What does the term "60/24/7/365 user interfaces" really mean? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think macro-24/7. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to target macro-proactively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "models". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. If you seize compellingly, you may have to engage interactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will rev up our capacity to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. We will expedite the term "blog-based". We think we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also mesh globally. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without meticulously-planned communities, platforms are forced to become user-defined. We have proven we know that if you benchmark magnetically then you may also morph micro-virally. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "wireless" really mean? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to transform globally. We will augment our capacity to matrix without decrementing our capability to redefine. We will streamline the capability of mindshare to generate. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most strategic, back-end web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. Think mega-world-class. It seems disorienting, but it's true! A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. The interactive re-sizing factor is synergistic, frictionless. At Mountain Man, we realize how to synthesize virtually. The metrics for synergistic channels are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, collaborative, virally-distributed. Without well-chosen action-items, dot-com, clicks-and-mortar reporting metrics are forced to become social-network-based. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to benchmark compellingly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We have come to know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to disintermediate macro-perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of viral data hygiene. We often architect interactive cross-media content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit defiantly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, scalable game plan for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. What does the buzzword "fractal, bleeding-edge project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? Think macro-out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use.