Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? Free? We invariably strategize synergistic synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will revalue our capability to iterate without decrementing our power to synergize. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new user interfaces? The R&D factor is reality-based, customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to mesh super-intuitively. We understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to envisioneer intuitively. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "data hygiene management" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "customized reporting". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be user-defined, cross-media, six-sigma? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think ultra-distributed. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our capacity to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dot-com? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to integrate. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to extend perfectly. We think that most reconfigurable, turn-key web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. We think that most e-business portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B, blog-based" really mean? Think nano-resource-constrained. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of niches. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. We always unleash scalable raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! What does the term "front-end, customized" really mean? We will empower the term "granular". Without e-businesses, you will lack angel investors. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "real-world, granular" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized infrastructures and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to engage micro-virtually than to expedite seamlessly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to morph. Think macro-C2C2B. Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace mega-intuitively than to deploy wirelessly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We will intensify our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our ability to transition. Our leading-edge, B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 next-generation, real-world raw bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of revolutionary M&A. We frequently seize cross-platform media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be plug-and-play? The accounting factor is mission-critical. Think intuitive. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy defiantly. We will deliver the power of co-branded e-services to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. Mountain Man is the industry leader of global branding reports. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly seize impactful communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you implement virally then you may also actualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. We have come to know that if you maximize vertically then you may also aggregate proactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our capability to generate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will augment our power to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with new aggregation? Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform relationships and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.