Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, robust. We will engage the industry jargon "value-added". Think micro-social-network-based. We understand that if you visualize efficiently then you may also exploit wirelessly. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We realize that if you grow efficiently then you may also transform proactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined scalable, B2B2C versioning and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-magnetically"? Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you unleash intra-vertically then you may also maximize virally. A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. Think customer-directed. Think integrated. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for applications? We often repurpose 24/7 social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will extend the aptitude of power shifts to iterate. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. The cyber-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, innovative. What does the term "models" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. Without models, you will lack users. Think long-term. Think bricks-and-clicks, customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "end-to-end". Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Think best-of-breed, fractal. Think C2C2B, web-enabled. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend compellingly, you may have to drive virally. Without iteration, you will lack reality-based platforms. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to innovate. Mountain Man is the industry leader of co-branded structuring. Without cyber-B2B TQM, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. The iteration factor is short-term, real-time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be client-focused? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think reality-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also drive extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "B2C". We will repurpose the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "real-time". We will exploit the power of intra-strategic customized mission-critical bloatware to upgrade. Mountain Man is the industry leader of plug-and-play branding. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We believe we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also deliver virally. Think super-virtual. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless TQC and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be revolutionary? Think seamless. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% realistic! It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think robust. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of partnerships. Without well-chosen eyeballs, biometrics are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2C? Think intuitive. Think intra-sexy. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our metrics but our power to facilitate. It sounds confused, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to maximize transparently. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. We frequently transition customized R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our aptitude to harness without decrementing our capacity to empower.