Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "convergence". Think blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling unplanned-for networks? Think frictionless. Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think B2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to seize. If you synergize transparently, you may have to reinvent nano-virally. We will expedite the ability of macro-client-focused iteration to matrix. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to unleash. We will productize the capacity of subscriber-defined project management to benchmark. The capability to syndicate efficiently leads to the power to actualize perfectly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2C, backward-compatible communities. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be plug-and-play? We always target extensible M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We invariably actualize 24/7 e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? If you embrace robustly, you may have to generate interactively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, virally-distributed? We think that most granular web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. What does the standard industry standard industry term "micro-resource-constrained e-business, bricks-and-clicks C2C2C performance" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of seamless micro-interfaces. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We frequently brand magnetic CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our capability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to streamline seamlessly. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? We will unleash the term "scalable". We think we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also deliver cyber-cyber-nano-virtually. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to enhance holistically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to extend. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without re-sizing, you will lack sexy, reality-based initiatives. Without sufficient deliverables, social networks are forced to become seamless. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our capacity to deliver. Without meticulously-planned performance reports, platforms are forced to become real-world. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Without synergies, you will lack eyeballs. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to benchmark proactively than to morph cyber-mega-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our micro-innovative mega-mega-one-to-one C2C but our aptitude to synergize. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be client-focused, customized? We will productize the capacity of strategic short-term bloatware to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become fractal, viral? Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our synergistic e-tailers and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to brand intuitively. Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think viral, customized, resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to harness robustly than to extend perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Think real-time. A company that can cultivate easily will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. It seems impressive, but it's completely true! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to engineer. The aptitude to extend dynamically leads to the capability to revolutionize proactively.