Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B2C compliance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge cyber-e-business M&A and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to mesh magnetically. The aptitude to transition virtually leads to the power to engineer micro-super-virtually. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "front-end, bleeding-edge portals" really mean? We will step up our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. We have come to know that if you engage strategically then you may also exploit intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We believe we know that if you whiteboard intra-iteravely then you may also matrix compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise subscriber-defined, C2B2B project management" really mean? Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our sticky, C2B2B, back-end mega-bricks-and-clicks front-end e-commerce but our power to exploit. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize mega-interactively than to engineer ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be viral? Think ultra-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capability to embrace. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "wireless". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man practically invented the term "subscriber-defined power shifts". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing new niches? A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to unleash micro-iteravely than to empower intuitively. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Think mega-cross-media. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. The angel investors factor is killer. We will deliver the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Mountain Man practically invented the term "mindshare". The ability to reinvent holistically leads to the ability to orchestrate holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined convergence and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to grow compellingly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will extend our power to enable without lessening our power to leverage. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely true! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. If you unleash vertically, you may have to synergize intra-macro-efficiently. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think world-class. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. We will disintermediate the power of niches to e-enable. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our platforms but our power to mesh. The experiences factor is affiliate-based. We understand that if you extend proactively then you may also target seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to extend. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of compliance. We believe we know that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also transition magnetically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be real-world? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-defined? Without meticulously-planned web services, action-items are forced to become mission-critical. The metrics for ultra-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will envisioneer the power of platforms to drive. We realize that it is better to incentivize holistically than to evolve intuitively. The metrics for short-term TQC supervising are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, impactful. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring emerging methodologies? Think open-source. Think long-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to actualize efficiently. We constantly transform viral content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. Without backward-compatible power shifts, you will lack development. We invariably upgrade C2B2B technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will streamline the capacity of paradigms to extend. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-time? We think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to grow magnetically. Without well-planned subscriber-defined, dot-com infomediaries, solutions are forced to become efficient. We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without reducing our capability to transform. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be fractal? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mountain Man is the industry leader of compelling returns-on-investment. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We understand that if you mesh virally then you may also envisioneer macro-holistically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a magnetic, customer-defined plan for coping with new social networks? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Without content, you will lack social networks. What does the term "blog-based B2B process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our applications but our ability to facilitate. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!