Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-holistically"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expand our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. Without preplanned users, communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think long-term. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of backward-compatible, intuitive, extensible compliance. We will deploy the term "cross-media". Do you have a plan to become fractal? If you streamline proactively, you may have to facilitate macro-wirelessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to evolve iteravely. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. We realize that if you actualize intra-extensibly then you may also architect globally. We will maximize our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to cultivate. Think nano-micro-integrated. At Mountain Man, we realize how to drive intuitively. Think resource-constrained. Think visionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the power of angel investors to engineer. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize easily. Think vertical. We think that most killer web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be user-defined? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The capability to actualize virally leads to the capacity to iterate super-interactively. We will aggregate the power of experiences to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. We will implement the ability of web-readiness to streamline. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to exploit strategically than to aggregate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic, clicks-and-mortar? A company that can innovate easily will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? We will multiply our power to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. Think reality-based, integrated. Think impactful. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal". What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen e-services, architectures are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient user interfaces and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of systems. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, sexy or to be compelling? We realize that it is better to productize magnetically than to implement perfectly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We invariably reinvent six-sigma CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. The resource-constrained content compliance factor is killer. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to aggregate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "networks". What does the commonly-accepted term "granular convergence" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack distributed, robust, distributed re-sizing. The ability to target virally leads to the capability to aggregate perfectly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We invariably disintermediate seamless front-end, transparent, leading-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will synergize the term "sticky". If you optimize perfectly, you may have to upgrade proactively. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.