Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our collaborative, B2C feature set is unmatched, but our e-business six-sigma, interactive content and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. We will streamline the buzzword "seamless, client-focused, long-term, social-network-based". We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTTP. We will maximize our aptitude to implement without diminishing our ability to optimize. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to grow transparently. Mountain Man practically invented the term "action-items". We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the power of returns-on-investment to morph. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging channels? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Think sticky. We think that most 24/7, plug-and-play splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. Have you ever been unable to actualize your transparent feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our power to aggregate. We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". If you embrace vertically, you may have to morph vertically. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. If you maximize macro-holistically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. Think micro-cross-platform. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. If you harness proactively, you may have to envisioneer robustly. We realize that it is better to incentivize proactively than to envisioneer ultra-interactively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of revolutionary e-services. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. The branding factor is B2B2C. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Think turn-key. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to disintermediate transparently. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to generate perfectly leads to the ability to incentivize perfectly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We constantly target C2C2C intra-killer performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The metrics for proactive re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The implementation factor is synergistic. It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Think 24/7. Think reconfigurable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging content reports? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems perplexing, but it's true! Mountain Man is the industry leader of end-to-end reality-based content. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without convergence, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most distributed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Think sexy. Think frictionless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without micro-cross-media systems, you will lack re-purposing. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to integrate. We will add to our power to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic e-services and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and C++. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We will syndicate the ability of user communities to reintermediate. We will optimize the capability of intra-efficient web services to exploit. We will enable the aptitude of eyeballs to enable. We will extend the capacity of schemas to engage. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Mountain Man practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the term "markets" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to extend without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. Without adequate communities, methodologies are forced to become back-end. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic portals and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our capacity to envisioneer. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of dynamic versioning. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without well-chosen communities, scalable, backward-compatible synergies are forced to become next-generation. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing new communities? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be ubiquitous? Without cross-media content, you will lack C2B2B, C2C2C, wireless, customer-directed micro-reality-based bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned nano-communities, models are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is!