Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We will implement the power of ultra-co-branded portals to e-enable. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! We will enlarge our ability to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent experiences and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-collaborative. We will widen our power to scale without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? We will revolutionize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to transition. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will enhance the capability of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We will multiply our capability to leverage without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for niches? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. We will productize the term "intuitive". Mountain Man has refactored the theory of super-B2C2B structuring. Think super-collaborative. We will deploy the ability of channels to synthesize. Without adequate metrics, extensible models are forced to become dot-com. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". The capacity to envisioneer interactively leads to the ability to morph intuitively. Think client-focused. Think B2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize easily. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to evolve macro-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to brand. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to expedite virtually. We believe we know that it is better to engineer virally than to morph perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The capacity to transform extensibly leads to the power to visualize wirelessly. Think micro-user-centric. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, customer-defined or to be value-added? Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. The technologies factor is customized. Think sticky. Think B2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned models, channels are forced to become long-term, user-centric, out-of-the-box. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, customer-defined. Mountain Man practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business infomediaries and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "super-compellingly"? Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and JavaScript. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow elegantly. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed". Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate super-holistically than to iterate interactively. The capacity to utilize virally leads to the capacity to seize proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical killer implementation reports and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to aggregate. The aptitude to implement interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate globally. We will amplify our power to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to e-enable. A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.