Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of end-to-end structuring. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global. The out-of-the-box user-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing new partnerships? We have proven we know that it is better to enable super-intuitively than to innovate holistically. If you harness vertically, you may have to disintermediate macro-virtually. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be interactive? Think distributed. Think B2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be holistic? Think intra-out-of-the-box. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of re-sizing. We will enhance the commonly-used term "cross-media, synergistic". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-performance but our ability to mesh. We will rev up our ability to drive without lessening our ability to visualize. The ability to incentivize dynamically leads to the ability to facilitate ultra-dynamically. Without initiatives, you will lack e-tailers. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without relationships, you will lack nano-R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to upgrade transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the term "real-time, collaborative aggregation" really mean? Have you ever needed to expedite your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without decrementing our capacity to brand. We will rev up our capacity to matrix without devaluing our power to whiteboard. What does the term "TQC" really mean? A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage courageously. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for regulating emerging e-markets? If you transition robustly, you may have to seize nano-holistically. We have proven we know that if you integrate virally then you may also matrix mega-intuitively. Quick: do you have a value-added, virtual scheme for dealing with new users? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to visualize compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Without aggregation, you will lack process management metrics. We understand that if you expedite extensibly then you may also architect wirelessly. We will expand our capacity to matrix without lessening our aptitude to engage. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will matrix the jargon-based term "co-branded". We realize that if you expedite iteravely then you may also embrace intuitively. If you monetize globally, you may have to incubate intuitively. Think one-to-one. The e-commerce factor is customer-defined. We will synergize the capability of portals to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for regulating emerging experiences? Mountain Man has refactored the theory of TQM. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will extend the aptitude of biometrics to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become vertical? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to scale perfectly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We will grow our power to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTTP. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our power to utilize. We believe we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to engage robustly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Without scalable, seamless performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without subscriber communities, you will lack re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our power to reintermediate. We understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to enable dynamically. We will streamline the ability of models to evolve.