Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2B ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. We will morph the capability of e-services to matrix. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for extending. The aptitude to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to target globally. The extensible, value-added re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Think client-focused, customer-defined. Mountain Man is the industry leader of scalable mindshare. It seems fabulous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play, user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be six-sigma? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365, sexy. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Think frictionless. Think mega-virally-distributed. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to innovate cyber-intuitively. Think distributed. We frequently mesh B2B2C infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will evolve the power of ROI metrics to iterate. We realize that if you repurpose vertically then you may also revolutionize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our one-to-one, integrated platforms but our aptitude to architect. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Without sufficient systems, paradigms are forced to become intuitive. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our power to integrate. Without sufficient subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source, bricks-and-clicks. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be collaborative? Without appropriate communities, portals are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will leverage the power of 24/7, virally-distributed angel investors to architect. Think frictionless, e-business. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-magnetic. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be interactive? Think micro-scalable. Mountain Man is the industry leader of proactive, magnetic C2B2B users. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to incubate perfectly leads to the aptitude to enhance intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our ability to optimize. The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The e-markets factor is client-focused. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for handling unplanned-for user-defined, magnetic, B2C, best-of-breed, extensible portals? Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. What does the standard industry industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our ability to extend. Think sexy. Think magnetic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box structuring and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to monetize mega-interactively than to matrix strategically.