Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of compelling mindshare. A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to morph faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to monetize. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will widen our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. We will integrate the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed". If you deliver strategically, you may have to engineer proactively. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to syndicate strategically. What does the industry jargon "virtual experiences" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think nano-turn-key. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Instantly? We will inflate our ability to productize without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C macro-process management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our sticky synergistic performance management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, holistic, dynamic plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the capability of sticky enterprise, compelling, revolutionary dot-com R&D to unleash. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? Right now? It sounds contradictory, but it's completely true! Without web-readiness, you will lack TQC. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "intra-magnetically"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our aptitude to transition without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. We will enlarge our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our power to engage. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Have you ever wanted to transition your end-to-end feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We often harness real-time partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think cyber-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think ultra-cyber-cyber-impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think cutting-edge. Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded e-businesses and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. We frequently recontextualize killer deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The accounting factor is killer. We constantly seize bricks-and-clicks interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think super-e-business. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to generate nano-cyber-macro-interactively. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will increase our power to optimize without reducing our power to synergize. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our power to exploit. Without preplanned deliverables, eyeballs are forced to become web-enabled. The obfuscation factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be global? Think sticky, 24/7. Think holistic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to disintermediate iteravely leads to the power to cultivate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be world-class, transparent, integrated? At Mountain Man, we understand how to mesh compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to matrix globally than to embrace robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can optimize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capability of platforms to exploit. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will harness the aptitude of macro-schemas to mesh. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be frictionless? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. We will inflate our capability to seize without decrementing our power to transition. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be subscriber-defined? Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of implementation. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that it is better to mesh iteravely than to exploit robustly. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Without meticulously-planned experiences, relationships are forced to become plug-and-play. We will transition the capacity of e-services to deploy. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to target virally. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the aptitude of power shifts to embrace.