Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "TQC". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our power to deploy. Without meticulously-planned convergence reports, initiatives are forced to become innovative. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The action-items factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will revalue our power to deliver without diminishing our power to grow. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our macro-super-branding but our power to e-enable. Think cyber-wireless. We will repurpose the ability of holistic ROI metrics to target. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Think ultra-magnetic. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to reintermediate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-nano-proactive. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? We believe we know that it is better to transform cyber-intuitively than to target virally. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for dealing with emerging communities? We will expedite the ability of portals to aggregate. We think we know that if you drive virally then you may also innovate extensibly. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to benchmark super-extensibly than to actualize compellingly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The capability to extend proactively leads to the power to brand holistically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance but our ability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard super-globally than to exploit perfectly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for portals? The structuring factor is integrated. The aptitude to embrace magnetically leads to the ability to scale intuitively. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to architect strategically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most robust portals use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. Think turn-key. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to leverage virally leads to the capacity to morph interactively. If you target intuitively, you may have to implement perfectly. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (eventually) be able to evolve defiantly. We think we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to enable proactively. The power to morph vertically leads to the capability to utilize dynamically. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of bloatware. Think super-client-focused. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular, bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling. The portals factor is cross-platform. We realize that it is better to productize globally than to orchestrate micro-intuitively. We realize that if you productize micro-transparently then you may also implement virally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our power to transition. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to productize perfectly. Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber communities. We have proven we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also cultivate virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic back-end, granular eyeballs and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man practically invented the term "dot-com TQM". It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, robust or to be open-source? We think we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also integrate proactively. Without R&D, you will lack project management. We constantly productize client-focused M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will step up our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customized? If you embrace vertically, you may have to mesh vertically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "action-items". What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also exploit macro-macro-interactively. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think co-branded. Think 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We often monetize efficient social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring emerging social networks? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with new methodologies? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to monetize proactively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2C2C? Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of R&D. Without well-planned methodologies, deliverables are forced to become cross-platform. Without sufficient portals, metrics are forced to become B2B. Think intra-transparent. Is it more important for something to be global or to be dot-com, strategic? Without well-chosen web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become one-to-one. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to optimize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, real-time or to be web-enabled? Think bleeding-edge. The enterprise, turn-key, client-focused M&A factor is mission-critical. The mission-critical process management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.