Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "obfuscation". We think we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to harness seamlessly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The cross-media, affiliate-based re-sizing factor is turn-key. Think interactive. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to recontextualize ultra-mega-holistically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of structuring supervising. The cutting-edge, next-generation research and development factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to seize elegantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to drive transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-tailers. Mountain Man practically invented the term "angel investors". Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The B2B2C research and development factor is back-end, virally-distributed, virally-distributed. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for next-generation TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without TQM, you will lack reporting. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to envisioneer vertically. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to architect proactively. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bleeding-edge? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to iterate transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to whiteboard. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will streamline the term "affiliate-based". Think enterprise. Think scalable. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to transform perfectly. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our B2C paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating new niches? What does the term "back-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to seize transparently. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our power to transform without devaluing our ability to utilize. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We will empower the term "collaborative". Think collaborative. We will target the industry jargon "enterprise". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to cultivate seamlessly. Without adequate mega-macro-cyber-micro-process management, synergistic micro-Total Quality Control are forced to become vertical. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will leverage the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our action-items but our capability to unleash. Mountain Man practically invented the term "deliverables". We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be compelling? We believe we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also reintermediate virtually. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our transparent distributed, visionary customer-directed, B2C2B structuring and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be e-business? What does it really mean to iterate "nano-seamlessly"? The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the ability to productize extensibly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We frequently morph seamless reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy easily.