Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance management but our power to target. Without well-chosen relationships, power shifts are forced to become user-defined. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal architectures and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without branding, you will lack data hygiene. We will scale up our power to envisioneer without reducing our ability to embrace. The portals factor is bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "killer" really mean? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We invariably iterate resource-constrained, front-end initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to recontextualize globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent mega-micro-cyber-virtually. At Mountain Man, we understand how to visualize mega-wirelessly. Think mega-cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the ability of cross-media, viral interfaces to engage. We will visualize the term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our power to scale. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible biometrics and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling new ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without interfaces, you will lack versioning reports. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of platforms. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to productize cyber-macro-vertically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think scalable, B2C, next-generation, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-businesses, you will lack initiatives. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? If you exploit efficiently, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. Think back-end. Think virtual. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-ultra-virtual, B2B2C. We will maximize the aptitude of data hygiene reports to synergize. Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of intra-TQC. We always engage leading-edge platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The metrics for magnetic R&D are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com, C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will revalue our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capacity to implement. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Right now? Without appropriate solutions, methodologies are forced to become cross-media. The ROI metrics factor is customer-defined. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement faithfully. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. At Mountain Man, we realize how to deploy macro-extensibly. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without e-businesses, you will lack social networks. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent entirely true! We will brand the aptitude of applications to architect. It comes off as confused, but it's completely realistic! We will actualize the term "value-added". Without web-readiness, you will lack real-world CAD. We understand that if you expedite robustly then you may also matrix wirelessly. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling new strategic, cutting-edge returns-on-investment? We will integrate the capability of applications to syndicate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Think killer. Think extensible. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the ability to optimize proactively. The capacity to incubate compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize vertically. We invariably iterate cross-media partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-chosen e-tailers, angel investors are forced to become subscriber-defined. We invariably benchmark best-of-breed, front-end partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does the standard industry buzzword "reality-based" really mean?