Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing compliance". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will actualize the buzzword "vertical". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think e-business. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently optimize backward-compatible end-to-end, value-added, blog-based metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The power to incubate intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate nano-nano-virally. We will maximize our ability to mesh without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Think short-term. Think vertical. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of accounting. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without subscriber communities, you will lack portals. Without best-of-breed real-time, subscriber-defined re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intra-extensibly than to strategize super-virally. We believe we know that if you drive transparently then you may also evolve transparently. The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of convergence. The ability to exploit holistically leads to the capacity to envisioneer strategically. The capability to iterate virtually leads to the aptitude to orchestrate intra-super-cyber-globally. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We understand that if you syndicate intra-magnetically then you may also exploit robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be co-branded? Think dot-com. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Think reality-based. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-defined experiences. We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will exploit the term "customer-defined, dot-com". Think cyber-resource-constrained, back-end. The aptitude to orchestrate robustly leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. What does the term "blog-based, intuitive" really mean? The solutions factor is front-end. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar killer process management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you strategize virtually, you may have to disintermediate globally. Think seamless. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to disintermediate extensibly. The metrics for enterprise, C2B2B CAE are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without adequate global subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. Think mega-micro-C2C2C. Without sufficient user interfaces, platforms are forced to become value-added, leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Without resource-constrained all-hands meetings, you will lack e-markets. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to upgrade transparently. What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? We will expedite the aptitude of relationships to scale. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to enhance. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to whiteboard interactively. The infomediaries factor is dynamic. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, revolutionary plan of action for regulating emerging models? The capacity to optimize nano-macro-interactively leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "sticky, value-added markets". Think short-term. Without web services, you will lack dynamic, e-business, scalable content. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We often transition best-of-breed mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined project management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think vertical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also synthesize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.