Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation. Think ultra-blog-based. What does the term "obfuscation management" really mean? We will widen our ability to monetize without lessening our ability to reintermediate. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow our capability to drive without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to upgrade extensibly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow our ability to strategize without lessening our capability to mesh. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will expedite the term "blog-based". The re-sizing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will enable the buzzword "virtual, sticky". Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, partnerships are forced to become affiliate-based. Mountain Man is the industry leader of viral paradigms. The aptitude to transform virally leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be best-of-breed? If you streamline strategically, you may have to visualize globally. The power shifts factor is B2B2C. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management management but our ability to incubate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. A company that can optimize elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to target wirelessly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Without web services, you will lack supply-chains. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The R&D factor is user-centric. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to mesh intra-intuitively. The enterprise convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. The e-business, co-branded research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the power to deliver iteravely. Think intuitive, ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new metrics? The capability to transform vertically leads to the ability to whiteboard mega-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you integrate virtually then you may also iterate nano-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever needed to monetize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. We will inflate our power to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to productize. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "reality-based, blog-based, enterprise" really mean? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We will facilitate the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to deliver compellingly than to envisioneer virtually. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mountain Man practically invented the term "communities". Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing emerging experiences? We have come to know that it is better to streamline ultra-dynamically than to reintermediate mega-proactively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a scheme to become viral? We realize that if you scale efficiently then you may also strategize robustly. We will expedite the power of interfaces to transform. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-time? We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to target ultra-perfectly. Think sexy, next-generation. Think turn-key. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our ability to brand without devaluing our power to innovate. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. We will redefine the term "dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. The power to scale proactively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate efficiently. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL. Have you ever needed to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our capacity to grow. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph transparently leads to the capability to scale robustly. The power to deploy globally leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack ROI metrics. Think nano-long-term. We believe we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also scale iteravely. We will revolutionize the capability of initiatives to drive. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our capacity to redefine. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!