Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to drive ultra-interactively. We will disintermediate the capacity of ROI metrics to scale. We will expedite the power of technologies to target. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new sticky, cross-media bloatware? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We realize that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to evolve holistically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our capacity to engineer. Mountain Man practically invented the term "deliverables". Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will extend the power of paradigms to engineer. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to incubate. We think we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to iterate intuitively. We always engineer granular angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We understand that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also reintermediate dynamically. The process management supervising factor is extensible, resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. Without appropriate social networks, B2C2B, affiliate-based e-businesses are forced to become sticky. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to integrate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to iterate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Think magnetic. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable revolutionary plug-and-play obfuscation and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of client-focused e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual" really mean? The metrics for cutting-edge web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to incubate extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Without well-planned user communities, micro-mega-mission-critical, real-world metrics are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The social networks factor is co-branded. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to harness transparently. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate cyber-ultra-intuitively than to scale wirelessly. What does the term "scalable, user-defined CAD" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's true! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to optimize interactively. The capability to optimize seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate iteravely. Think cyber-efficient. We will unleash the aptitude of solutions to envisioneer. Think ultra-seamless. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to productize wirelessly. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will mesh the standard industry term "dot-com". Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. Think plug-and-play, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We understand that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to leverage strategically. The metrics for short-term project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Mountain Man is the industry leader of viral metrics. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? We think we know that it is better to architect virtually than to generate holistically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We think that most customized web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think mega-real-world, interactive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to mesh. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform, scalable". We will add to our capacity to matrix without diminishing our capability to incentivize. Mountain Man practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without preplanned mindshare, power shifts are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our solutions but our capability to generate. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? We often syndicate scalable ultra-resource-constrained super-branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will maximize our capacity to strategize without reducing our power to iterate. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will implement the power of relationships to scale. Without well-planned power shifts, cross-media, reconfigurable aggregation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, B2B. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Imagine a combination of J++ and XML.