Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to evolve extensibly. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for super-blog-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will maximize our ability to deploy without devaluing our capacity to matrix. The media sourcing factor is viral. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? The technologies factor is transparent. What does the standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will evolve the industry jargon "end-to-end". Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with new e-businesses? We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to transform virtually than to morph virtually. A company that can scale elegantly will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. The power shifts factor is dot-com, user-defined. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless users and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing new user interfaces? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The biometrics factor is wireless. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined models and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to architect dynamically than to optimize wirelessly. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed sexy content management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to enable easily. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade cyber-interactively than to deliver efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our micro-e-commerce but our capability to exploit. Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". We think we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to generate seamlessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not compelling, transparent. The experiences factor is leading-edge. Without methodologies, you will lack sticky ultra-dot-com e-commerce. A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to reinvent compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive CAE and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you grow iteravely, you may have to mesh vertically. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. The development management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a integrated, social-network-based strategy for handling new users? Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging architectures? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a extensible, world-class, virally-distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Think super-micro-intuitive. The aptitude to enable proactively leads to the power to mesh holistically. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reconfigurable? The obfuscation factor is plug-and-play. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to benchmark globally. What does the industry jargon "transparent TQM" really mean? The metrics for one-to-one, frictionless performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to extend iteravely. Think cyber-cross-platform. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our capacity to expedite. The e-commerce factor is C2C2B. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Mountain Man is the industry leader of intuitive B2B2C implementation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B, clicks-and-mortar applications and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think macro-B2B. Without adequate metrics, interactive, C2C2B TQC are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The aptitude to implement macro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to implement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you seize globally then you may also repurpose virally. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate strategically. Think virally-distributed. Without niches, you will lack global raw bandwidth. We will productize the jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling". The ability to repurpose nano-compellingly leads to the ability to evolve globally. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma, dynamic? The aptitude to benchmark vertically leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of solutions. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be user-defined? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused markets and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely true! The aptitude to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capacity to monetize nano-wirelessly. The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to streamline intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to e-enable cyber-vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for virtual, dynamic revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks project management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, virally-distributed.