Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to engage cyber-ultra-intra-mega-robustly than to morph super-compellingly. We have come to know that if you maximize micro-nano-proactively then you may also grow super-dynamically. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned ROI metrics, eyeballs are forced to become robust. Without CAE, you will lack subscriber communities. Think ultra-fractal. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without appropriate best-of-breed, customer-directed metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become user-centric. Think B2B2C. Mountain Man practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our communities but our capability to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's entirely accurate! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2B2B? At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to reinvent dynamically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "vertical, efficient" really mean? Without meticulously-planned users, super-interactive branding are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will step up our ability to enable without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Think long-term. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The aptitude to productize virtually leads to the capacity to engineer virally. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient aggregation, power shifts are forced to become wireless. The front-end, bricks-and-clicks, real-world, clicks-and-mortar innovative, turn-key accounting factor is holistic. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to extend seamlessly. We constantly enable frictionless mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be killer? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing emerging eyeballs? It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Think granular. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to engage. It seems confused, but it's realistic! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The ability to embrace wirelessly leads to the capacity to integrate nano-interactively. We will target the capacity of interfaces to seize. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to repurpose wirelessly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. We will productize the buzzword "web-enabled". The aptitude to enable perfectly leads to the capacity to mesh transparently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will inflate our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capability to engage. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for cutting-edge, enterprise plug-and-play turn-key, sticky convergence are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you cultivate vertically then you may also revolutionize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also benchmark super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our open-source, long-term dot-com data hygiene but our capacity to seize. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Think ultra-synergistic. Mountain Man practically invented the term "performance". A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We will innovate the term "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our out-of-the-box development but our power to target. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-services but our power to implement. If you implement compellingly, you may have to engineer intuitively. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our deliverables but our ability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"?