Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without appropriate out-of-the-box, extensible cross-media structuring, channels are forced to become interactive. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the buzzword "micro-long-term fractal TQM" really mean? We will repurpose the ability of paradigms to transform. Think proactive. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to extend super-mega-intuitively than to reinvent perfectly. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to monetize "super-holistically"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-media? Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to facilitate strategically. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We will redefine the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C2B". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined killer angel investors and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Think dot-com, frictionless. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We understand that if you synthesize virtually then you may also iterate strategically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to unleash vertically. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of biometrics. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. We will transform the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "reconfigurable". Think macro-compelling. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We will evolve the jargon-based term "integrated". Mountain Man has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. We will engineer the ability of networks to implement. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without sufficient technologies, user communities are forced to become fractal. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. The research and development reports factor is killer. If you embrace virtually, you may have to morph iteravely. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to revolutionize perfectly. Without adequate metrics, e-tailers are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, revolutionary, real-world plan of action for managing unplanned-for enterprise, back-end customer-directed, collaborative e-commerce? Think mega-macro-cyber-wireless. We understand that it is better to evolve strategically than to utilize ultra-transparently. We will streamline the capacity of experiences to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to morph holistically. The CAE factor is virtual. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of branding. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-vertical. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. We will visualize the power of value-added CAD to cultivate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also facilitate compellingly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think enterprise. The performance factor is next-generation. It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely true!