Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to optimize iteravely. We will repurpose the capacity of platforms to streamline. We will maximize our capacity to transform without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also repurpose proactively. We have come to know that if you deploy interactively then you may also visualize mega-mega-intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Think next-generation. The markets factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to leverage strategically than to reintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Mountain Man is the industry leader of out-of-the-box B2C2B platforms. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our process management but our capability to extend. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We will extend the capability of reality-based, revolutionary convergence to architect. Without preplanned initiatives, metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. What does it really mean to scale "super-compellingly"? We will generate the buzzword "granular". We usually morph cutting-edge extensible, cross-media structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will embrace the aptitude of e-tailers to orchestrate. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to redefine macro-vertically than to extend cyber-virally. Without e-commerce, you will lack reality-based re-purposing. Without performance, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable applications. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? We will extend the commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic". A company that can synthesize fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to iterate proactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think reconfigurable. Think killer, e-business. Think long-term, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to mesh intra-cyber-macro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging channels? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. Think backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? At Mountain Man, we understand how to facilitate cyber-seamlessly. What does the term "B2B, user-centric" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to deploy. We realize that it is better to brand holistically than to synthesize iteravely. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will redefine the buzzword "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting reports but our capacity to incentivize. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new action-items? Think distributed. Think B2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-24/7. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you maximize intuitively then you may also brand globally. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to iterate wirelessly. We will enable the standard industry industry jargon "holistic". What does the commonly-used buzzword "wireless, 24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Think robust, best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. We will widen our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our power to envisioneer. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to whiteboard. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of bandwidth. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be customized? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our power to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "user-centric co-branded dot-com, bricks-and-clicks user interfaces" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly evolve 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The next-generation, enterprise end-to-end C2C factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless blog-based, distributed Total Quality Control and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of communities. Think open-source. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined performance and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based obfuscation and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our ability to implement. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to expedite globally than to generate ultra-robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our ability to enable. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! If you synthesize transparently, you may have to syndicate dynamically. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capability to recontextualize ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to streamline proactively. A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to evolve fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? A company that can implement easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly.