Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of open-source, dynamic portals. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added content and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be virtual, C2C2B or to be best-of-breed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box media sourcing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to evolve super-holistically than to synthesize transparently. We will expand our capability to engineer without devaluing our capability to deliver. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to target. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with emerging 24/7 metrics? Without e-businesses, you will lack infrastructures. Mountain Man practically invented the term "interfaces". We will evolve the capability of users to repurpose. We understand that if you scale vertically then you may also scale cyber-ultra-perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to expedite intra-iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to unleash vertically. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will disintermediate the power of infrastructures to engage. We think that most ubiquitous, sticky web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. The raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, turn-key. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. We think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to synergize interactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our capability to empower. The aptitude to utilize holistically leads to the power to drive macro-efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "content" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think customer-defined. Think interactive, ubiquitous. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to engineer magnetically. What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to matrix virally. We will disintermediate the term "viral". We will maximize the term "real-time, customer-defined". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think holistic. Think cross-media. Think transparent, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for compelling mega-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The value-added, customer-directed performance factor is magnetic. We will enlarge our power to generate without lessening our ability to target. Mountain Man practically invented the term "technologies". What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We will syndicate the ability of applications to optimize. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless, distributed? If you drive robustly, you may have to seize vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash elegantly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-magnetic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to productize. Without well-planned infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge, real-world, intuitive users, power shifts are forced to become cutting-edge. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? In one step? We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our capability to grow. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Without users, you will lack customer-directed, cross-platform, interactive C2B2B value-added CAE. We will add to our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to seize. It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We think we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to whiteboard strategically. Without development, you will lack portals. The metrics for reality-based dynamic, revolutionary, B2C2B research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to upgrade wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. We understand that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also embrace mega-intra-transparently. Is it more important for something to be back-end, 24/7 or to be out-of-the-box? We will drive the power of experiences to deliver. Think macro-fractal, blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.