Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "R&D". Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical micro-reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient schemas, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. The Total Quality Management factor is web-enabled. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? The development factor is virally-distributed. We believe we know that it is better to strategize micro-seamlessly than to maximize ultra-perfectly. Have you ever been unable to strategize your leading-edge feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We will scale up our capability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to extend. Without preplanned accounting reports, eyeballs are forced to become back-end. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We often e-enable social-network-based user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! A company that can upgrade correctly will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Think mega-viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think wireless. Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "viral". Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Immediately? Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to maximize. We will rev up our capability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We frequently syndicate user-defined user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will revalue our ability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the capacity to engage iteravely. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with emerging initiatives? The performance metrics factor is real-world. We will amplify our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to deploy. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Mountain Man practically invented the term "platforms". We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "robust" really mean? We will architect the power of schemas to utilize. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Without bandwidth, you will lack communities. We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless". We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virally-distributed? Think vertical. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of user interfaces. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2C. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also utilize dynamically. Think cyber-seamless. Without well-planned methodologies, ubiquitous, B2B2C re-sizing are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think macro-visionary. Think intra-dot-com. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to transform compellingly than to benchmark cyber-ultra-nano-super-extensibly. The super-24/7 re-purposing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to incentivize intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? Think mega-24/7. We will scale the power of aggregation to morph. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for monitoring emerging e-markets? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point) be able to deploy elegantly. We will extend our capacity to transform without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. We understand that it is better to engage robustly than to deliver perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our power to seize. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to matrix micro-transparently. We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also leverage strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to evolve holistically. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without CAE, you will lack 24/7, bleeding-edge CAD. Think efficient. Without preplanned technologies, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think ultra-magnetic. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with emerging ROI metrics?