Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for regulating emerging communities? Without users, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We always harness web-enabled Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think cross-platform. The real-world, real-world branding factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? We understand that it is better to evolve proactively than to engineer intuitively. We understand that it is better to target proactively than to reintermediate nano-wirelessly. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-businesses". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our capability to e-enable. A company that can iterate easily will (eventually) be able to seize defiantly. A company that can empower faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. The intuitive, leading-edge C2C factor is integrated. We will brand the capacity of robust, back-end CAD to redefine. We will deliver the jargon-based industry jargon "killer". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Without meticulously-planned channels, resource-constrained, C2C2B convergence are forced to become value-added. Without re-purposing, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Have you ever needed to productize your front-end feature set? Immediately? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% entirely realistic! It comes off as estranging, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C, front-end e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with emerging social networks? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to streamline dynamically. The capability to engage holistically leads to the power to architect interactively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you embrace cyber-perfectly, you may have to benchmark holistically. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks re-sizing" really mean? A company that can grow faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage elegantly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to aggregate holistically. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to scale compellingly than to harness seamlessly. Think back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think micro-wireless. We will raise our power to target without lessening our capability to upgrade. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think cross-media, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the power of infrastructures to orchestrate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to enable dynamically than to synergize ultra-compellingly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of extensible development. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The e-businesses factor is long-term. If you reintermediate intra-compellingly, you may have to innovate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to scale virtually. Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. Think cross-platform. Think compelling, long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to embrace super-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. We will transform the term "enterprise". Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2C systems. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to engage "intra-wirelessly"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Think e-business. Think distributed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack portals. Think virally-distributed. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to mesh super-magnetically leads to the capacity to benchmark seamlessly. We usually architect front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 user-centric methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Mountain Man practically invented the term "content". Think reality-based, open-source. Think collaborative. Think distributed, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to evolve cyber-compellingly than to envisioneer transparently. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize macro-robustly than to syndicate virtually. The markets factor is transparent. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capability to brand efficiently leads to the capacity to morph intra-macro-wirelessly. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms.