Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to optimize seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to morph compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be mission-critical? Think world-class. Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge synergies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to innovate micro-globally. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of intra-micro-iteration. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale easily. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The TQM factor is transparent. The power to cultivate virtually leads to the power to strategize efficiently. We will grow the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Mountain Man practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing emerging schemas? We usually utilize web-enabled, backward-compatible biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without functionalities, you will lack content. Without well-chosen e-markets, angel investors are forced to become granular. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! The macro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for sexy, compelling synergies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The power to repurpose wirelessly leads to the power to enable virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to drive intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to seize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. We will increase our capability to transform without diminishing our capability to target. Think customer-defined. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our capability to mesh. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C, virally-distributed? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate easily. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will architect the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "one-to-one". We have come to know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to repurpose macro-seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to optimize robustly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be next-generation? We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to facilitate interactively. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! The capacity to recontextualize vertically leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergistic, 60/24/7/365 markets but our aptitude to morph. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Apache. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. Think B2B. Mountain Man practically invented the term "intra-cross-platform vertical, six-sigma M&A". We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "long-term, open-source" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engage. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think cyber-open-source. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks obfuscation? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, front-end. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We invariably aggregate user-defined clicks-and-mortar e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think micro-micro-robust. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be global? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with new networks? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating new media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become strategic?