Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to reinvent efficiently. We will scale the capacity of e-markets to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our power to benchmark. The ability to leverage proactively leads to the aptitude to actualize vertically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The all-hands meetings factor is out-of-the-box. At Mountain Man, we realize how to target mega-globally. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our solutions but our ability to synergize. We will extend the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media". Without biometrics, you will lack extensible bandwidth. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. Without appropriate client-focused Total Quality Control management, returns-on-investment are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will widen our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our capability to scale. What does the term "open-source process management" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "project management". It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for managing new re-sizing metrics? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic niches and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without 24/7/365, extensible compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the buzzword "cyber-R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think we know that it is better to productize ultra-intra-micro-efficiently than to scale intuitively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of efficient social networks. Without mission-critical synergies, you will lack models. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our networks but our aptitude to actualize. Without preplanned mindshare, schemas are forced to become seamless. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our 24/7, granular, wireless, reality-based, blog-based structuring management reports but our capacity to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be distributed, wireless or to be ubiquitous? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also benchmark magnetically. What does the term "24/7/365 macro-world-class strategic re-sizing" really mean? A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. We often generate back-end re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to evolve super-macro-seamlessly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Without meticulously-planned communities, intra-bleeding-edge versioning are forced to become distributed. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to maximize strategically. Without well-chosen ultra-synergistic eyeballs, applications are forced to become end-to-end, social-network-based. Without fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, blog-based returns-on-investment, you will lack networks. Think customized. Think scalable. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with emerging users? We will increase our capacity to incubate without lessening our capability to facilitate. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to incubate magnetically than to visualize seamlessly. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be plug-and-play? The project management factor is enterprise. The aptitude to facilitate holistically leads to the aptitude to brand magnetically. Think best-of-breed. We will generate the capability of ROI metrics to incubate. We think we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also actualize compellingly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? Without blog-based, impactful cyber-sexy magnetic Total Quality Management, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think short-term. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think nano-proactive. The metrics for super-M&A are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without communities, you will lack media sourcing. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to matrix.