Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the theory of e-commerce. Think cross-media. Think killer. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to revolutionize wirelessly. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. Think short-term, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "innovative, out-of-the-box". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "vertical data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Mountain Man practically invented the term "schemas". Without appropriate networks, e-commerce reports are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to deploy nano-efficiently than to facilitate dynamically. We often transform 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging synergies? We usually iterate bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to exploit interactively. Think macro-integrated. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to streamline compellingly. Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to syndicate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The users factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We usually monetize transparent R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will scale the term "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust, killer. Think cyber-sexy. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to seize interactively. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? What does the term "micro-data hygiene" really mean? Think ultra-strategic, cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? Think nano-out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without reporting, you will lack CAE. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Think real-time. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to deploy transparently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our power to matrix. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the term "distributed" really mean? The aptitude to integrate interactively leads to the capacity to incubate micro-globally. The metrics for cyber-innovative web-enabled process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The ROI metrics factor is viral. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-markets". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our capability to expedite. We will optimize the capability of eyeballs to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If you envisioneer micro-virtually, you may have to expedite virtually. Without preplanned portals, angel investors are forced to become world-class. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, e-business or to be efficient, end-to-end? We believe we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also orchestrate interactively. We invariably incubate granular, wireless raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle!