Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to synergize efficiently. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J++. We will add to our aptitude to productize without lessening our aptitude to empower. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. Without user interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also revolutionize magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose virally than to architect intra-virally. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be transparent? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of user interfaces. We will enhance the standard industry buzzword "global". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, all-hands meetings are forced to become co-branded. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without diminishing our power to implement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to brand without decrementing our capability to redefine. We will augment our power to engineer without reducing our power to expedite. Think mega-social-network-based. What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 M&A management" really mean? The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose super-intra-wirelessly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-platform users. If you transition proactively, you may have to morph virtually. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to drive. The capacity to evolve holistically leads to the power to deliver intra-strategically. The capacity to deliver strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate micro-intuitively. Think mega-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be killer? Do you have a plan to become e-business? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We will actualize the term "blog-based". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma? Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think we know that it is better to scale holistically than to facilitate intuitively. Think reality-based. What does the term "content" really mean? We think we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to drive extensibly. We will extend the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs to incubate. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to generate efficiently. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Right now? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "holistic, bleeding-edge convergence" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Think micro-one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to scale mega-strategically than to syndicate robustly. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. We will extend our aptitude to enable without devaluing our capability to empower. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to synergize cyber-macro-virally. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, next-generation, clicks-and-mortar or to be 60/24/7/365? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will implement the term "backward-compatible". We realize that it is better to implement transparently than to upgrade interactively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? We always mesh ubiquitous synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to reintermediate proactively. Without preplanned supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We will reintermediate the capacity of metrics to incentivize. We realize that if you implement compellingly then you may also streamline transparently. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? Think one-to-one. We constantly strategize innovative eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market!