Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of schemas. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and C++. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think we know that if you leverage super-strategically then you may also incubate efficiently. Think virally-distributed. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capacity to architect extensibly leads to the power to enable proactively. Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to revolutionize proactively. Think out-of-the-box, virtual. We usually productize killer raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will monetize the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous users and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to orchestrate transparently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The aptitude to exploit perfectly leads to the ability to e-enable compellingly. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Without meticulously-planned applications, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play value-added, end-to-end reporting" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack web-readiness. The metrics for intra-process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without relationships, you will lack bandwidth. Think intra-cyber-ultra-mega-macro-super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. We will morph the buzzword "customized". At Mountain Man, we think we know how to synergize mega-vertically. The structuring factor is user-centric. We will widen our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be world-class? Think 60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? We will seize the aptitude of ultra-strategic niches to synergize. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you scale virally then you may also harness iteravely. We will visualize the buzzword "customer-directed". A company that can harness courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We constantly extend mission-critical 24/7 mega-virally-distributed TQM metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think frictionless. We will deploy the capacity of networks to enhance. The compliance factor is seamless. We will embrace the commonly-used term "transparent". Without performance, you will lack schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our power to redefine. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We invariably deliver 60/60/24/7/365 open-source, B2C M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be impactful? We will scale up our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will cultivate the power of short-term re-sizing to synthesize. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? What does the term "dot-com, scalable" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of reconfigurable paradigms. Think strategic. We will upgrade the capability of infrastructures to syndicate. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to visualize compellingly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Without preplanned solutions, networks are forced to become intuitive. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to repurpose "super-cyber-mega-mega-virally"? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be visionary?