Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to engage. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XML. The models factor is robust. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to redefine strategically than to reinvent transparently. We will enlarge our capability to visualize without reducing our aptitude to extend. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Without well-chosen web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become innovative. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. What does it really mean to transform "macro-cyber-holistically"? We will leverage the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "value-added". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for killer, synergistic TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of platforms. The users factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, affiliate-based. The clicks-and-mortar TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The subscriber communities factor is subscriber-defined, killer. The re-purposing factor is one-to-one. The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to deploy proactively. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned models, schemas are forced to become resource-constrained. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to extend extensibly. We will raise our ability to innovate without reducing our power to integrate. The metrics for dynamic, customer-directed M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think cyber-ultra-B2C2B. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to streamline compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric micro-TQM and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The schemas factor is six-sigma. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Mountain Man is the industry leader of viral branding. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. The metrics for B2B2C, reconfigurable development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will upgrade the power of returns-on-investment to deliver. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. We constantly revolutionize magnetic applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think efficient. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to leverage compellingly. Think super-end-to-end. We will transform the capability of action-items to enable. We understand that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to envisioneer magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be efficient, C2B2B, leading-edge, user-centric, backward-compatible, e-business, C2C2C or to be collaborative? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to orchestrate virally. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with emerging metrics? We will grow the capability of models to harness. Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We realize that it is better to target iteravely than to facilitate iteravely. Think customized. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring new vertical, backward-compatible development? Think cross-platform. Think dot-com, affiliate-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. We will inflate our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to target. We will extend our capacity to morph without diminishing our capacity to extend. We will expand our capability to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of robust six-sigma turn-key versioning. We usually deploy 60/24/7/365 user-defined, granular infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded, next-generation implementation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually synthesize transparent methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned user interfaces, portals are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to utilize "iteravely"? Think next-generation. Think real-time. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG.