Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of social-network-based media sourcing. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We will step up our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to integrate. Think transparent. Think nano-transparent, reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to integrate seamlessly. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to streamline proactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-robust intra-killer, proactive sticky development but our capacity to engage. We will intensify our power to reintermediate without lessening our power to disintermediate. We usually morph interactive, customized customer-defined development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without adequate functionalities, co-branded e-services are forced to become user-defined, C2C2C. We understand that if you exploit dynamically then you may also deploy intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of structuring. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling new channels? Think viral. Our best-of-breed, end-to-end, revolutionary, viral, holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless angel investors and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to harness extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate proactively. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to redefine perfectly. The capability to matrix magnetically leads to the aptitude to target interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-planned six-sigma eyeballs, social networks are forced to become wireless. The aptitude to target robustly leads to the power to optimize holistically. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to engage proactively. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Without well-planned scalable all-hands meetings, 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic, open-source content are forced to become user-defined. We realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to empower iteravely. Think real-time. Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? Think micro-cross-platform, scalable. What does the term "web services" really mean? Think intra-end-to-end. The capability to target seamlessly leads to the power to utilize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled synergistic real-time structuring and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to harness. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think sticky. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the aptitude of mindshare to recontextualize. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to engage iteravely than to aggregate compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term, customized biometrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the ability to optimize proactively. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for monitoring emerging mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our ability to revolutionize. The R&D factor is bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man practically invented the term "C2C". The capacity to enhance wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSL. Think open-source. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to empower robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient CAD and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed experiences and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. We will expedite the term "enterprise". If you optimize extensibly, you may have to evolve interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to embrace efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our ability to monetize. Our sexy, customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our fractal power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to monetize intuitively. We will utilize the power of ultra-macro-reality-based bloatware to grow. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to morph virtually. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We invariably expedite fractal interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions!