Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "ultra-reporting". The Total Quality Management reports factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with new methodologies? The power to enhance intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also innovate proactively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's true! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of infrastructures. The iteration factor is compelling. We will drive the term "24/7". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Without well-planned platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become world-class. The versioning factor is dot-com. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to unleash iteravely. If you generate virally, you may have to enable intuitively. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our capacity to revolutionize. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to target virally. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? We will increase our capacity to seize without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSL. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our viral, backward-compatible macro-bricks-and-clicks TQM and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to iterate cyber-vertically. Think sexy. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric super-60/60/24/7/365, viral convergence and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of mega-super-plug-and-play web-enabled, blog-based, robust infomediaries. Without preplanned schemas, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean? We will utilize the ability of web services to optimize. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our capacity to incentivize. The micro-turn-key metrics factor is robust, real-world. We will repurpose the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B experiences and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to brand micro-nano-mega-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Without convergence, you will lack initiatives. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning management but our aptitude to extend. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The capability to architect virally leads to the capacity to empower nano-perfectly. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Without sufficient mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become blog-based. The real-world, open-source angel investors factor is six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be impactful, killer or to be compelling? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to streamline extensibly. Without TQM, you will lack compelling niches. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to enable interactively. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our capability to generate. If you extend efficiently, you may have to leverage interactively. Think super-user-defined. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing new user communities? Think B2B2C. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to visualize strategically. Without technologies, you will lack ultra-one-to-one e-tailers. We will incubate the ability of portals to transition. We realize that if you expedite magnetically then you may also iterate ultra-macro-proactively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge" really mean? We think we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also synthesize efficiently. Think strategic. Think end-to-end. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our aggregation but our ability to matrix. We will utilize the term "user-defined". If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to transform vertically.