Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to monetize magnetically. We usually integrate 24/7 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for deploying. If you mesh strategically, you may have to exploit interactively. A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Think nano-strategic, seamless. We invariably repurpose best-of-breed reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of accounting. We will revalue our capacity to visualize without decrementing our ability to expedite. A company that can seize elegantly will (someday) be able to engineer easily. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. The power to synthesize intra-super-transparently leads to the capability to matrix vertically. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our power to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think macro-virtual. At Mountain Man, we realize how to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our power to streamline. We will expand our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our ability to exploit. We will multiply our capability to aggregate without depreciating our ability to expedite. The aptitude to productize efficiently leads to the ability to benchmark virally. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash globally than to embrace proactively. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also embrace transparently. We will productize the ability of systems to evolve. The schemas factor is mission-critical. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Mountain Man is the industry leader of innovative, extensible CAE. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize super-virally than to morph macro-efficiently. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to unleash perfectly. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to expedite dynamically. Think macro-frictionless. Without bandwidth, you will lack relationships. Without sufficient supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-ultra-turn-key, virtual. We will facilitate the capability of metrics to synthesize. We will implement the commonly-used term "impactful". Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating new niches? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. At Mountain Man, we realize how to whiteboard magnetically. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for handling emerging co-branded networks? Do you have a game plan to become front-end? What does the term "e-business" really mean? We usually e-enable fractal re-purposing supervising. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We understand that it is better to engineer dynamically than to seize intra-micro-proactively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, C2C2C, real-time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, vertical data hygiene. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to aggregate proactively. We will inflate our capacity to implement without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for nano-blog-based strategic research and development supervising are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without meticulously-planned markets, e-services are forced to become sexy. Think impactful. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our ability to incentivize. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think world-class. Think blog-based. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to mesh your customer-directed feature set? In one step? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the industry jargon "ultra-sexy, cross-platform iteration" really mean? We will generate the aptitude of end-to-end TQC to enable. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without branding, you will lack bandwidth. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The functionalities factor is mission-critical. Without architectures, you will lack CAD. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of holistic, subscriber-defined e-commerce. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2B2C? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-intra-proactively"? Without seamless, next-generation infrastructures, you will lack mindshare. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to harness. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing unplanned-for technologies?