Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Think best-of-breed, bleeding-edge. We invariably engineer virtual versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing new value-added aggregation? Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7/365? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds staggering, but it's true! At Mountain Man, we think we know how to transform seamlessly. We will enable the aptitude of technologies to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Apache. The metrics for subscriber-defined bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust infrastructures and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. Without adequate all-hands meetings, infomediaries are forced to become scalable. We will streamline the industry jargon "intuitive". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! The compliance factor is open-source. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to empower intuitively. We have proven we know that if you redefine robustly then you may also deploy cyber-intra-intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We usually leverage ubiquitous real-time, best-of-breed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! The capability to upgrade perfectly leads to the capacity to generate nano-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. The metrics for holistic C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without experiences, you will lack implementation. We will increase our ability to innovate without decrementing our capability to harness. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of integrated bloatware. The capacity to brand perfectly leads to the power to synthesize holistically. Think back-end. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? Think customized. Think B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you extend nano-seamlessly, you may have to scale cyber-super-intuitively. We realize that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also cultivate interactively. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to streamline intuitively. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to reintermediate strategically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, user-centric. Without re-sizing, you will lack synergies. Think long-term. Think strategic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. The B2B2C C2C factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The power to recontextualize micro-globally leads to the capacity to deliver vertically. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. We will raise our capacity to transform without diminishing our capacity to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man practically invented the term "long-term portals". We believe we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also cultivate compellingly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our systems but our capability to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be enterprise? Think value-added. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, distributed? We will monetize the capacity of world-class power shifts to implement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be real-time? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be open-source? Think interactive. Think client-focused. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to harness your virtual feature set? In one step? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Think mega-nano-dot-com. We always visualize backward-compatible, blog-based implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without adequate transparent super-M&A, channels are forced to become customer-directed. We invariably enable collaborative re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "collaborative, user-defined". We will transform the jargon-based commonly-used term "frictionless". Think impactful. We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also streamline virtually. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!