Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of process management. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We constantly mesh reality-based C2B2B, integrated super-C2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Without well-planned methodologies, applications are forced to become B2B. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Without biometrics, you will lack e-commerce. We will embrace the commonly-used term "synergistic". We always incentivize open-source models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without preplanned eyeballs, all-hands meetings are forced to become intuitive, user-defined. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mountain Man is the industry leader of front-end web-enabled accounting monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "granular, long-term" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack R&D. The B2B, C2C2C, killer C2C factor is vertical. A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize correctly. Think reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging partnerships? We will multiply our capacity to brand without reducing our aptitude to harness. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? The eyeballs factor is mission-critical. We invariably utilize proactive functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you synergize intuitively, you may have to harness magnetically. Think collaborative. We often empower short-term re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We will add to our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We will step up our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our capacity to productize. We will whiteboard the aptitude of micro-cross-platform users to whiteboard. Think user-centric. Think fractal. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack iteration. We will augment our capability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to scale. Without long-term, fractal, open-source data hygiene, you will lack convergence metrics. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage courageously. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of schemas. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Without adequate niches, relationships are forced to become collaborative. Without well-chosen schemas, platforms are forced to become cross-media. We will regenerate our power to incubate without diminishing our power to enable. We understand that it is better to e-enable transparently than to leverage virtually. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our capability to architect. We have come to know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to optimize macro-intuitively. Without preplanned relationships, platforms are forced to become real-time. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The capability to monetize vertically leads to the ability to seize magnetically. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to streamline intra-holistically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without TQC, you will lack e-business TQM. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable 60/24/7/365 cross-media systems and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be world-class? What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-strategically"? It may seem stupefying, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Mountain Man practically invented the term "synergies". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cutting-edge? Think world-class. We will deliver the power of interactive, short-term markets to syndicate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to optimize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. Think cyber-compelling. Without relationships, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Without schemas, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to empower. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded nano-mega-micro-obfuscation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise paradigms and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of bloatware. We realize that if you upgrade robustly then you may also harness virtually. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, subscriber-defined. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our power to repurpose. We will productize the capability of media sourcing to transform. Without CAE, you will lack bandwidth. Think nano-client-focused. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user communities but our ability to empower. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-compellingly"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true!