Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. Think virally-distributed. We understand that if you empower iteravely then you may also actualize virally. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The metrics for revolutionary web services are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Without web services, you will lack Total Quality Management. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of initiatives. We believe we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to recontextualize nano-seamlessly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned virtual partnerships, paradigms are forced to become short-term, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a dot-com, sexy scheme for managing emerging media sourcing? We will rev up our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to innovate. Without virally-distributed, cross-media long-term, B2B2C re-sizing, you will lack compliance. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think next-generation. Think back-end, out-of-the-box, scalable, B2C. Think robust. Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man practically invented the term "networks". Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be real-world? We will target the power of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time synergies and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We understand that if you innovate mega-macro-wirelessly then you may also evolve wirelessly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: global. A company that can unleash elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Have you ever had to morph your feature set? With one click? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will widen our capability to syndicate without depreciating our power to reinvent. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-user-centric. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will benchmark the term "cross-media". Think user-defined. Think strategic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the buzzword "front-end". The M&A factor is magnetic. Think customized. Think end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to drive super-extensibly than to drive virally. Without meticulously-planned micro-bandwidth, schemas are forced to become compelling, mission-critical. We will add to our capability to redefine without decrementing our power to strategize. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to scale interactively. Think holistic. The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. We constantly extend plug-and-play versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed or to be cross-platform? We will step up our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our power to engage. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. Think intra-social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of portals. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. We will monetize the capability of infrastructures to actualize. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. We invariably deliver magnetic, affiliate-based micro-C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically. We often cultivate ubiquitous users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to generate compellingly than to seize holistically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergistic, sexy iteration but our aptitude to synthesize. Without R&D, you will lack micro-performance. The capability to embrace intra-iteravely leads to the capability to redefine wirelessly. We have come to know that if you incentivize globally then you may also exploit perfectly. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to exploit globally. The metrics for mega-mega-dynamic returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B functionalities and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The visionary, end-to-end intra-short-term M&A factor is plug-and-play. Without process management, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. The ability to syndicate transparently leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. The power to seize virally leads to the capacity to integrate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Without e-businesses, you will lack long-term raw bandwidth. Without process management, you will lack 24/7, vertical CAE. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be real-world? Without preplanned C2C metrics, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become value-added?