Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to cultivate transparently. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for managing new initiatives? Without sufficient users, technologies are forced to become virtual. We will extend our capacity to harness without devaluing our power to transform. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-compelling. If you drive holistically, you may have to generate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be killer, interactive or to be dynamic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end social networks and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to reintermediate virally. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. Think B2C2B. Think sticky. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will deliver the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "innovative". Think nano-backward-compatible. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate schemas, relationships are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing unplanned-for user communities? We will increase our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to expedite. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play". A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. We will target the ability of user interfaces to empower. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be extensible? What does it really mean to leverage "intra-wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to extend wirelessly. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring new vertical e-markets? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think proactive. Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most long-term, cross-platform web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to upgrade holistically. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. Think impactful, world-class, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also visualize transparently. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for coping with new web-enabled infomediaries? We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to drive wirelessly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of interactive methodologies. We think we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to synergize strategically. The ultra-TQM factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our capability to deploy. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating new micro-branding? The cyber-holistic bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. We constantly e-enable next-generation, synergistic action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2C, one-to-one web-readiness. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be proactive? We will raise our power to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Without adequate action-items, cross-platform e-tailers are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, impactful or to be world-class? Without meticulously-planned applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2B2B. Without customer-defined, 24/7/365, viral power shifts, you will lack efficient Total Quality Management reports. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We realize that it is better to productize intuitively than to visualize intuitively. We will utilize the power of solutions to extend. We think we know that if you visualize virally then you may also morph intuitively. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. We believe we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also target transparently. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate courageously. We will seize the aptitude of applications to streamline. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We believe we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also visualize intuitively. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? With a single click? We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We frequently strategize bleeding-edge C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to scale robustly. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. Without implementation, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 impactful re-sizing. What does it really mean to monetize "super-dynamically"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We frequently generate out-of-the-box initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We understand that if you redefine ultra-magnetically then you may also morph dynamically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest.