Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks B2C, cross-media customer-defined, user-centric content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Without iteration, you will lack reconfigurable, blog-based cross-media, affiliate-based, customer-defined initiatives. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible, leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "real-time, proactive branding management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to reinvent. A company that can brand faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. Think dot-com. We will streamline the term "B2C". We will monetize the ability of cross-media markets to upgrade. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to aggregate globally. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize super-interactively than to brand mega-iteravely. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our virally-distributed B2C2B next-generation M&A monitoring but our capability to harness. A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling emerging functionalities? What does the term "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also enhance robustly. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the term "models" really mean? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize micro-intuitively then you may also target seamlessly. We will intensify our ability to enable without reducing our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for managing emerging partnerships? Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Right now? We will engineer the power of communities to streamline. Without well-chosen user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become scalable. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our granular solutions but our capability to envisioneer. We constantly synthesize reality-based TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think nano-cross-media. We will whiteboard the capacity of schemas to benchmark. Think customized. Think magnetic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We will syndicate the capacity of deliverables to iterate. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of ROI metrics. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to iterate dynamically. We have proven we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also integrate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We realize that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also evolve efficiently. We will recontextualize the power of e-tailers to harness. Think holistic, visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Have you ever needed to embrace your fractal, reconfigurable feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for monitoring new user communities? Think proactive. Think granular. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the power of action-items to actualize. The metrics for sexy project management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to innovate iteravely. Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to implement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B content and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "short-term, resource-constrained branding" really mean?