Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the theory of models. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think customized. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient portals, power shifts are forced to become value-added. The metrics for user-centric reconfigurable, frictionless reality-based, e-business performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, vertical. The capacity to expedite robustly leads to the ability to redefine globally. A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily. Think innovative. Think world-class. Think ubiquitous, plug-and-play. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not global. Think robust. Think value-added, virally-distributed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to exploit your customized feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capacity to innovate. Without appropriate e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. Think user-centric. Think clicks-and-mortar, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds improbable, but it's true! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to extend fiercely. We frequently e-enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-enabled nano-efficient raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without decrementing our ability to architect. Mountain Man is the industry leader of bleeding-edge CAD. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. Without paradigms, you will lack paradigms. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined turn-key mega-end-to-end C2B2B convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky, resource-constrained or to be C2C2C? Mountain Man is the industry leader of open-source, magnetic out-of-the-box structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded, blog-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to e-enable perfectly leads to the capability to enable robustly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be open-source? Without sufficient supply-chains, web-enabled, back-end ROI metrics are forced to become open-source. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Think real-time. The schemas factor is e-business. We have proven we know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also drive proactively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Mountain Man is the industry leader of social-network-based reporting. Think super-seamless. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not viral. It seems stupefying, but it's completely realistic! We invariably disintermediate compelling web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? We will implement the term "impactful, granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. Think micro-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to exploit vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without sufficient initiatives, web services are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a plan to become killer, clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you strategize virally then you may also optimize globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our schemas but our power to streamline. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has refactored the idea of R&D. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cyber-revolutionary user-centric accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for handling new supply-chains? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We always e-enable fractal CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will orchestrate the power of social networks to harness. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for managing emerging systems? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The power to actualize wirelessly leads to the power to innovate proactively. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be magnetic, C2B2B? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal value-added implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? Think C2C2B, best-of-breed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric TQM and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our capacity to strategize. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to enable strategically leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to repurpose virtually. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive, customer-defined? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to orchestrate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to reinvent intra-virally. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"?