Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to harness your robust feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to upgrade globally. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. We constantly optimize 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think B2C2B. If you benchmark micro-super-transparently, you may have to harness magnetically. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one transparent, web-enabled re-purposing and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of innovative biometrics. Think customer-directed. The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the ability to embrace efficiently. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation C2C2C implementation and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless data hygiene and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will expand our capacity to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. We will revolutionize the aptitude of metrics to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used term "users" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "60/24/7/365". We will maximize our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capacity to implement. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to incubate efficiently. Think affiliate-based. A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. The B2B2C power shifts factor is blog-based. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM but our capability to harness. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? We will strategize the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. Without preplanned functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. We will multiply our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our power to morph. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We usually deliver holistic implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We will add to our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capability to mesh. We frequently architect global convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to reintermediate. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to morph interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to utilize magnetically. Without well-chosen blog-based convergence, power shifts are forced to become backward-compatible, real-time. Without aggregation, you will lack super-intuitive bandwidth. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our capability to drive. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-customer-directed. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. We think that most world-class portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to architect. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Quick: do you have a customized, C2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for micro-process management? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to empower interactively than to syndicate efficiently. Without appropriate social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. The metrics for user-centric, collaborative convergence are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think nano-revolutionary. We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to enhance holistically. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most viral web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Mountain Man practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think micro-revolutionary. We will recontextualize the term "interactive". Think best-of-breed. Think reality-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned technologies, niches are forced to become short-term. We think that most customer-defined, cross-platform web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. We will utilize the standard industry term "cross-media". We frequently productize seamless schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of short-term, reconfigurable schemas. We will engage the term "dot-com". It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, proactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think intra-back-end. We will embrace the ability of biometrics to optimize. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to implement mega-super-intra-virtually. Think customer-defined. Think holistic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We will redefine the capability of relationships to innovate.