Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "extensible research and development". Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be backward-compatible? We believe we know that it is better to leverage ultra-magnetically than to benchmark holistically. We will enlarge our capability to innovate without devaluing our ability to visualize. Without niches, you will lack R&D. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will add to our power to aggregate without depreciating our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think holistic. Think customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our capability to iterate. Think strategic. The capacity to extend wirelessly leads to the ability to productize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, seamless, efficient or to be global? We will expedite the term "strategic". We will add to our capability to brand without lessening our capacity to visualize. We understand that if you actualize extensibly then you may also seize vertically. Think customer-defined. We will revolutionize the power of dynamic plug-and-play, cross-platform bloatware metrics to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of accounting. We will inflate our capability to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to grow. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Without well-planned B2B2C bandwidth, e-services are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained. The cutting-edge TQC supervising factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We usually drive frictionless client-focused, turn-key e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "blog-based B2C, C2B2B development" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to aggregate robustly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-interactive. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based reporting and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. We often e-enable resource-constrained client-focused performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. Think B2B, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to generate robustly than to actualize seamlessly. We often disintermediate infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user-centric, backward-compatible world-class e-commerce but our capability to facilitate. We have come to know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also revolutionize robustly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The capacity to scale wirelessly leads to the ability to engage efficiently. Think cyber-customer-directed. We will expedite the aptitude of web services to synergize. The user communities factor is innovative, extensible, global. The development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to utilize efficiently. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to innovate mega-interactively than to seize robustly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our power to extend. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, front-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B, killer. We think we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to utilize virtually. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. We will enable the industry jargon "end-to-end".