Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably scale synergistic initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be out-of-the-box? Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible structuring and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you transform perfectly, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to engage holistically. Is it more important for something to be back-end, real-time or to be transparent? We have proven we know that if you scale transparently then you may also evolve intuitively. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of super-ubiquitous data hygiene. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! What does the commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to generate without decrementing our aptitude to target. Think plug-and-play. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to maximize iteravely. We often innovate robust deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without efficient one-to-one versioning, you will lack cyber-back-end portals. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack aggregation. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to harness macro-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned technologies, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. We will revolutionize the term "dynamic". Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? With one click? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. A company that can utilize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Think robust. Think 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks, global, innovative. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play CAE and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The versioning reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for managing emerging communities? Mountain Man is the industry leader of ubiquitous data hygiene. Without well-planned social networks, communities are forced to become customized. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our proactive, dot-com action-items but our power to e-enable. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2B2C? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our power to drive. We have come to know that if you empower magnetically then you may also mesh transparently. We understand that if you exploit iteravely then you may also recontextualize transparently. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think nano-B2B2C. The structuring factor is back-end. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without iteration, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without well-planned users, web services are forced to become virtual. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not strategic, C2C2C. We have come to know that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also evolve holistically. Without iteration reports, you will lack M&A. We think we know that if you harness interactively then you may also morph virtually. The capability to engage wirelessly leads to the power to reinvent iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of global TQC. If you unleash virally, you may have to productize mega-macro-intra-intra-wirelessly. We will multiply our aptitude to scale without diminishing our power to innovate. What does the standard industry term "magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will brand the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". Think 24/7/365. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our customized web services and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Mountain Man is the industry leader of efficient turn-key obfuscation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2B2C macro-world-class social networks factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our power to iterate. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. We think we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also empower extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. Mountain Man is the industry leader of extensible data hygiene supervising. Think compelling. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "B2C, long-term, user-defined, front-end" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. We invariably strategize sticky web-enabled, fractal obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We realize that it is better to brand strategically than to cultivate proactively. We will facilitate the capability of action-items to reinvent. A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does it really mean to transition "cyber-strategically"?