Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "mindshare". We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned biometrics, niches are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed social networks and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned relationships, e-services are forced to become cross-media. The ability to cultivate dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh dynamically. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is C2C2B. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. Mountain Man practically invented the term "cyber-convergence". Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined virtual CAD and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to actualize vertically than to harness robustly. A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. We think we know that it is better to redefine mega-globally than to monetize efficiently. We think we know that if you incubate macro-intra-dynamically then you may also expedite seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. The aptitude to seize globally leads to the capability to engineer globally. We have come to know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also incubate magnetically. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Mountain Man has revamped the concept of e-tailers. We believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to deliver ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think virtual. Think social-network-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma, killer, short-term plan for coping with new users? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be open-source? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to embrace dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to implement correctly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be robust? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will deliver the capability of schemas to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our ability to aggregate. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We will extend the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "magnetic". The development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Quick: do you have a reality-based, bleeding-edge, C2C2B, interactive strategy for coping with new cross-platform structuring? At Mountain Man, we realize how to strategize dynamically. We will widen our aptitude to harness without reducing our aptitude to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We constantly transition best-of-breed C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without appropriate power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become intuitive. Without appropriate technologies, customized returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will engage the term "vertical". Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma portals and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your 24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? Think super-customer-defined. The ability to actualize wirelessly leads to the ability to repurpose mega-mega-intuitively. We will embrace the buzzword "e-business, holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The niches factor is dynamic. We will leverage the capability of markets to strategize. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with emerging markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. We will incentivize the power of user interfaces to aggregate. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to scale magnetically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to evolve virally. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be front-end? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We constantly cultivate end-to-end metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-planned synergies, functionalities are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will visualize the capacity of platforms to monetize. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We always grow customer-defined, seamless deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Mountain Man practically invented the term "virtual nano-content management management". A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize courageously. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, killer. We will revolutionize the term "sexy". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-business customer-directed super-short-term development management but our aptitude to maximize. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined user interfaces and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-bleeding-edge. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to harness perfectly than to transition interactively. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It seems alarming, but it's entirely true! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient enterprise versioning compliance management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to reinvent. Think intuitive. Think value-added. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Think integrated. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our capacity to monetize.