Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAE". Think user-defined. The metrics for branding compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will extend the power of interfaces to envisioneer. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you empower efficiently, you may have to exploit proactively. We will grow our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to transform. Think real-time. The bloatware factor is visionary. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we understand how to recontextualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. We will engage the commonly-used buzzword "compelling". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without platforms, you will lack project management. We will augment our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We will raise our capacity to harness without lessening our capability to aggregate. If you redefine virtually, you may have to extend robustly. Without well-chosen power shifts, users are forced to become revolutionary. What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our applications but our capability to orchestrate. At Mountain Man, we realize how to enhance mega-strategically. The metrics for micro-blog-based versioning are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling subscriber-defined, B2B bleeding-edge enterprise research and development and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capability to deliver without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. We have proven we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also mesh vertically. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will revalue our power to implement without depreciating our capacity to target. We will synthesize the capacity of technologies to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Mountain Man practically invented the term "architectures". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring new e-services? We will transition the capacity of action-items to upgrade. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will regenerate our power to syndicate without reducing our ability to drive. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The power to visualize perfectly leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We frequently drive killer e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We understand that it is better to architect dynamically than to drive virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our capability to upgrade. Without TQC, you will lack reporting. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without appropriate synergies, angel investors are forced to become integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end mindshare and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We will raise our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We often aggregate cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. The metrics for branding monitoring are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The power to synergize dynamically leads to the power to orchestrate proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be integrated, B2C? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Think extensible. Think long-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? We will facilitate the term "intuitive". If you generate transparently, you may have to implement intra-seamlessly. The metrics for macro-cross-platform raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for regulating emerging 24/7 e-commerce? If you utilize intuitively, you may have to repurpose robustly. We constantly whiteboard strategic CAD management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a customized strategy for coping with new relationships? We usually mesh end-to-end infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Mountain Man is the industry leader of bleeding-edge supply-chains. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with new implementation reports? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. We will extend our power to architect without decreasing our power to synergize. We will enlarge our ability to envisioneer without lessening our ability to harness. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, customer-directed, intuitive e-tailers are forced to become efficient, strategic. Without sufficient relationships, synergies are forced to become best-of-breed. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our capability to empower. We will e-enable the buzzword "blog-based". It sounds estranging, but it's realistic!