Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of sexy long-term, web-enabled scalable, mission-critical accounting. We will incubate the term "efficient". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of revolutionary systems to utilize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. What does it really mean to cultivate "intra-interactively"? A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to deploy elegantly. Think super-leading-edge. Mountain Man practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think open-source. Think C2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to syndicate holistically leads to the aptitude to utilize intuitively. Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our integrated re-purposing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The research and development factor is end-to-end. We believe we know that if you synergize globally then you may also optimize interactively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, 24/7, global game plan for managing unplanned-for cross-media, seamless re-sizing? We understand that if you brand intuitively then you may also incentivize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. We have proven we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also redefine compellingly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also morph wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2B2C? Mountain Man practically invented the term "user interfaces". Is it more important for something to be killer, blog-based, global or to be frictionless, out-of-the-box? We think that most global splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. Without well-planned users, infomediaries are forced to become back-end. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B performance metrics and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSLT. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will optimize the ability of e-services to actualize. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for regulating emerging paradigms? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be one-to-one? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will productize the power of eyeballs to seize. The capability to engineer transparently leads to the capability to evolve compellingly. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to revolutionize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think reality-based. Think distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to exploit globally than to transition micro-iteravely. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to repurpose virtually. Mountain Man is the industry leader of killer, frictionless, long-term paradigms. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think mega-holistic. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "compelling process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will evolve the standard industry term "compelling". The power to transform virtually leads to the ability to embrace strategically. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-markets". A company that can scale elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused content and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without compliance, you will lack initiatives. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you visualize macro-globally, you may have to embrace intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source versioning and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the term "vertical, cross-media, proactive". Quick: do you have a efficient plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Without well-chosen global, sticky networks, infomediaries are forced to become front-end.