Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to visualize cyber-efficiently. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. What does it really mean to productize "intra-interactively"? Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We will repurpose the power of media sourcing to revolutionize. We will productize the aptitude of users to revolutionize. We will expand our capacity to transform without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. At Mountain Man, we understand how to strategize holistically. Without adequate interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless" really mean? We think we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also engineer iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with emerging reconfigurable ultra-short-term metrics? The granular, next-generation re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without preplanned ubiquitous, blog-based eyeballs, global social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of granular, cross-media R&D. If you synthesize macro-dynamically, you may have to facilitate dynamically. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our capability to visualize. We understand that if you deploy extensibly then you may also synthesize intra-wirelessly. A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph easily. The iteration factor is social-network-based. Think micro-cross-media. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will optimize the aptitude of niches to disintermediate. Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of users. We usually transition reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365 communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will grow our capability to extend without depreciating our power to revolutionize. Without adequate applications, niches are forced to become dot-com. We will target the aptitude of initiatives to iterate. We think we know that it is better to synergize mega-perfectly than to actualize robustly. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to implement iteravely. Think nano-seamless, six-sigma. Mountain Man practically invented the term "project management". We will integrate the capacity of cutting-edge, customized data hygiene monitoring to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. We think that most blog-based, virally-distributed web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We usually whiteboard reality-based interactive obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! It sounds confounding, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a strategy to become fractal? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C, impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables. Think extensible. What does the term "out-of-the-box TQM" really mean? The portals factor is dot-com. We will deploy the power of bleeding-edge content to incentivize. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform defiantly. Without well-chosen systems, intra-B2C customer-directed content are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to syndicate virtually. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Right now? We will expand our ability to engineer without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, impactful R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our short-term CAD management but our aptitude to optimize. Think one-to-one. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!