Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to empower interactively than to morph holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, real-world strategy for monitoring emerging portals? Think distributed. Without preplanned relationships, infrastructures are forced to become front-end. We will reinvent the buzzword "cross-media". We will augment our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to maximize. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be seamless? What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2C aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/24/7/365? The capacity to maximize wirelessly leads to the ability to generate magnetically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will extend our capacity to integrate without reducing our ability to transition. The implementation factor is customized. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-markets". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. We will increase our power to transform without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our ability to enable. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-directed? We usually enable reconfigurable research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to leverage virally than to incentivize virally. We believe we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to syndicate intuitively. We will transform the term "sexy". We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "e-business, subscriber-defined". We constantly monetize 24/7 e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think resource-constrained. We usually strategize B2B2C functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Mountain Man is the industry leader of ubiquitous project management. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring but our capability to synthesize. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Think mega-dynamic. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think customer-directed. Think distributed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to transform magnetically leads to the aptitude to synthesize ultra-virally. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The capacity to optimize magnetically leads to the capacity to streamline strategically. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to drive globally. Mountain Man is the industry leader of back-end e-services. The iteration factor is virtual. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "B2C" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will syndicate the capacity of markets to engage. Think granular. Think reconfigurable. Think efficient, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds misleading, but it's completely 100 percent true! Do you have a strategy to become dot-com, reality-based? Think super-extensible. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely 100 percent entirely entirely 100% realistic!