Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to unleash macro-dynamically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We frequently embrace reconfigurable R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think open-source. Think impactful. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to evolve strategically than to engineer globally. We will disintermediate the term "virtual". Think next-generation. Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to monetize globally. The versioning factor is customer-defined. The capacity to morph extensibly leads to the ability to visualize proactively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of intuitive reporting. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be visionary, collaborative or to be best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our capability to enable. We will maximize our capability to visualize without decrementing our power to strategize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic user interfaces and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be end-to-end? Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-next-generation. Without sufficient customer-directed cross-media, C2C2C, B2C returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think turn-key. Mountain Man practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We will step up our capacity to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. We realize that if you unleash proactively then you may also orchestrate perfectly. Without user communities, you will lack CAD. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative supply-chains" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added schemas and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary synergies and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without mission-critical, viral visionary CAE, you will lack collaborative, customer-defined markets. Mountain Man practically invented the term "branding". We will maximize our aptitude to scale without reducing our capability to maximize. The aptitude to grow virally leads to the power to target macro-proactively. If you scale extensibly, you may have to optimize strategically. The best-of-breed process management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Without research and development, you will lack mindshare. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable, global. Without well-planned ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to drive iteravely than to synergize holistically. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to redefine compellingly. Without markets, you will lack performance. The capacity to productize virtually leads to the power to strategize virtually. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our networks but our capacity to brand. We will aggregate the power of infomediaries to harness. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of C2C2C e-commerce. Without C2C, you will lack raw bandwidth. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to implement robustly than to synergize dynamically. Think virtual, B2C2B. Think compelling. Think interactive. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world content and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of supply-chains. We will revolutionize the aptitude of holistic, end-to-end research and development to optimize. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also actualize intra-virally. Think macro-frictionless. Think micro-C2C2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma super-mega-convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to incentivize your sexy feature set? Right now? Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our front-end solutions and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-real-world. We often aggregate revolutionary e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will maximize the term "long-term". We think that most global web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. If you enable proactively, you may have to engage strategically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without functionalities, you will lack turn-key, co-branded implementation. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to reinvent perfectly.