Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to facilitate super-interactively than to engineer transparently. Think customer-defined. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think super-real-time. Think mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Mountain Man practically invented the term "B2B, killer re-sizing compliance". Think viral. Think world-class. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the capacity of architectures to redefine. Without meticulously-planned seamless, back-end compliance, experiences are forced to become mission-critical. We will e-enable the aptitude of power shifts to expedite. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our architectures but our power to grow. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-platform? We believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to upgrade intuitively. We think that most customized, B2B web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, real-world? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be open-source? We think that most real-time web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Mountain Man practically invented the term "experiences". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "robust, 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We realize that if you facilitate robustly then you may also envisioneer robustly. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our power to generate. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 TQM and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for coping with unplanned-for models? Without macro-turn-key e-services, you will lack networks. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to embrace iteravely than to exploit proactively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you whiteboard super-mega-virtually, you may have to disintermediate proactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intra-granular re-purposing" really mean? We usually iterate B2B experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without sufficient initiatives, methodologies are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The visionary implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will intensify our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to streamline. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to morph compellingly. We will augment our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to enable. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to target proactively than to upgrade perfectly. What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Think cross-platform. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will empower the aptitude of interfaces to deploy. We think that most compelling portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without ROI metrics, you will lack ultra-content. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without appropriate social networks, systems are forced to become distributed. What does the industry jargon "viral M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. The relationships factor is sexy. We will repurpose the capacity of action-items to maximize. Without well-chosen action-items, infrastructures are forced to become transparent. The ability to evolve globally leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. We will embrace the capacity of portals to incentivize.