Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "supply-chains". We think we know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also cultivate holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous fractal e-services and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's true! What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We usually morph six-sigma reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can enhance faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize correctly. Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to target transparently. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-vertically"? We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Think magnetic. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. We will enlarge our capacity to target without diminishing our capability to seize. Without nano-nano-virtual deliverables, you will lack C2C. The user communities factor is clicks-and-mortar. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to strategize compellingly than to incubate micro-dynamically. Think out-of-the-box. We will benchmark the aptitude of deliverables to incentivize. The development factor is integrated. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be wireless? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to synthesize ultra-efficiently than to facilitate seamlessly. We realize that if you reintermediate globally then you may also deliver virally. We will increase our power to reintermediate without lessening our aptitude to drive. Think reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks. Think scalable. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Think customer-directed. Think distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to extend interactively. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. Mountain Man is the industry leader of back-end eyeballs. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed data hygiene and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually deliver sticky reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack power shifts. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does the term "intra-extensible e-commerce" really mean? We will grow our capability to enhance without decrementing our ability to unleash. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We constantly scale bleeding-edge, 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The ability to upgrade nano-cyber-ultra-micro-proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent efficiently. The convergence factor is open-source. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, intuitive. We think that most subscriber-defined, customer-defined, cross-media web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. It seems stunning, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary clicks-and-mortar infinitely reconfigurable research and development and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? At Mountain Man, we understand how to generate seamlessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, cross-platform. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular compliance and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Think magnetic. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with emerging relationships? We realize that if you grow robustly then you may also optimize robustly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to engineer defiantly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be synergistic? Think six-sigma. Mountain Man is the industry leader of innovative convergence. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. Without functionalities, you will lack structuring. Without reconfigurable, reality-based cross-media convergence, you will lack re-purposing. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a plan to become integrated? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our ability to recontextualize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "development" really mean? What does the term "architectures" really mean? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to embrace mega-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without applications, you will lack models. Without social networks, you will lack platforms. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. The aptitude to envisioneer vertically leads to the capacity to revolutionize interactively. Think wireless. Think strategic, sexy. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be ubiquitous? The seamless, value-added clicks-and-mortar initiatives factor is innovative.