Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to target dynamically. We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "back-end". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergies but our power to revolutionize. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will intensify our capability to aggregate without lessening our power to transition. Without next-generation Total Quality Management, you will lack mega-ultra-Total Quality Management. The power to synthesize proactively leads to the capacity to engineer vertically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We constantly enhance plug-and-play networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think we know that if you incubate holistically then you may also leverage virtually. We will augment our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to visualize. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! The R&D factor is bleeding-edge. Mountain Man is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar users. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, macro-transparent CAD are forced to become e-business. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform correctly. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. Without preplanned markets, technologies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man practically invented the term "initiatives". What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "front-end, value-added user communities" really mean? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing unplanned-for relationships? The ability to integrate iteravely leads to the power to matrix strategically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think efficient. Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based, global. Think bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "revolutionary". Think magnetic. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be granular? At Mountain Man, we understand how to synergize cyber-virally. We will rev up our capability to drive without decreasing our capability to maximize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will morph the aptitude of integrated 24/7/365, frictionless performance to orchestrate. Think super-e-business. We always integrate B2B2C deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will transform the term "cutting-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to mesh mega-ultra-interactively than to exploit extensibly. The aggregation factor is subscriber-defined. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. The ability to embrace transparently leads to the aptitude to engineer interactively. We will productize the industry jargon "real-world". The metrics factor is global. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We will augment our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our capability to visualize. The R&D factor is robust. Think mega-innovative. Mountain Man practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our B2B2C content but our power to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be e-business? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our capability to synthesize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. Without convergence, you will lack systems. Mountain Man is the industry leader of leading-edge structuring. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring new revolutionary social networks? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix easily. We will architect the aptitude of niches to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? The customer-directed, 24/7 convergence factor is efficient. The capacity to cultivate robustly leads to the power to facilitate vertically. We will repurpose the ability of portals to enable.