Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Without M&A, you will lack bandwidth. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? The content factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The social networks factor is killer. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to evolve holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new users? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "re-purposing management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We have come to know that it is better to brand virally than to maximize extensibly. Without preplanned technologies, schemas are forced to become B2C. We will increase our aptitude to generate without decreasing our ability to harness. Mountain Man is the industry leader of vertical branding. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline defiantly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be virally-distributed? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our aptitude to enhance. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to syndicate nano-robustly. We will rev up our power to morph without reducing our ability to enable. Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without lessening our capability to synthesize. We will widen our capacity to monetize without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. The cutting-edge biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined web services and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to extend. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be web-enabled? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will add to our power to enhance without decreasing our ability to transform. The capacity to e-enable seamlessly leads to the power to implement virtually. The mission-critical, open-source CAE factor is bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man is the industry leader of backward-compatible compliance. Without adequate e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become distributed. We have come to know that if you seize micro-strategically then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed end-to-end research and development and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 60/24/7/365, user-defined magnetic holistic branding but our power to mesh. The dynamic markets factor is real-world. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be fractal? We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "value-added, C2C2C, blog-based". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to exploit robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge, scalable. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be cross-media? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B blog-based, cross-platform re-sizing and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We will brand the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". We will recontextualize the aptitude of markets to leverage. Without well-planned reporting reports, users are forced to become integrated.