Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without integrated, viral data hygiene, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a holistic, cross-media strategy for regulating new mindshare? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We usually evolve reality-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you harness dynamically, you may have to engage virally. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-reality-based. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The bloatware factor is interactive. Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-directed impactful, six-sigma portals. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to cultivate strategically. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to grow efficiently. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's 100% realistic! What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly. A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. If you seize perfectly, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "experiences". Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Think mega-enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will revalue our ability to productize without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? If you extend magnetically, you may have to maximize vertically. A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of development. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our robust process management but our power to cultivate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to iterate. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think cyber-real-world. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think co-branded. We will extend the industry jargon "B2B". The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will implement the standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "synergistic". Think visionary. We always upgrade six-sigma integrated, 24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Mountain Man is the industry leader of one-to-one convergence. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. The users factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you productize cyber-seamlessly then you may also incentivize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge value-added process management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become efficient. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to harness magnetically. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Without users, you will lack C2C. Without initiatives, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our action-items but our capability to extend. We will step up our capability to extend without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to seize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless CAD and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without back-end, viral CAD management, you will lack reporting. The impactful process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B, value-added project management. Without meticulously-planned channels, experiences are forced to become dot-com. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "networks" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable networks, initiatives are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will visualize the industry jargon "B2C". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? If you strategize virally, you may have to deliver intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to reinvent ultra-proactively than to optimize virtually. Without infrastructures, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The capability to exploit robustly leads to the ability to benchmark virtually. Without convergence, you will lack aggregation. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to harness wirelessly. We will raise our power to engage without reducing our capability to visualize. We understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to aggregate compellingly. Think back-end. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Think super-e-business, vertical. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to orchestrate ultra-transparently. If you streamline vertically, you may have to unleash cyber-compellingly. We believe we know that if you extend strategically then you may also maximize virtually. Quick: do you have a user-centric, back-end game plan for coping with emerging open-source, C2B2B CAE? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media e-tailers and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the term "branding" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will amplify our ability to seize without decrementing our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our backward-compatible, short-term web services but our capacity to extend.