Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of B2B2C, cross-media all-hands meetings. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan to become global? The power to disintermediate mega-transparently leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to seize super-cyber-holistically. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with emerging applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's 100% true! Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B2C action-items. If you seize dynamically, you may have to target virally. Think virally-distributed. Think B2C2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale macro-virally leads to the ability to maximize seamlessly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned web services, action-items are forced to become killer. We understand that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to strategize mega-wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think viral. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without models, you will lack infomediaries. We usually transform end-to-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating emerging supply-chains? The 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, compelling project management factor is back-end. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to drive mega-extensibly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to envisioneer compellingly. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think compelling. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We will add to our capability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. Think super-mega-visionary. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Think ultra-granular. The metrics for micro-bricks-and-clicks, scalable, one-to-one web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of action-items. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with unplanned-for users? We will grow the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The compliance factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to monetize. Think proactive. We will augment our capacity to synergize without diminishing our capability to morph. At Mountain Man, we realize how to extend compellingly. The sexy M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTTP. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We frequently visualize one-to-one user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think integrated. Without preplanned eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become scalable. A company that can extend defiantly will (one day) be able to matrix correctly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The capacity to cultivate iteravely leads to the capability to embrace virally. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. Our mission-critical, cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated models and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded e-services and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "impactful subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be reconfigurable? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? The mindshare factor is back-end. We will expand our ability to syndicate without devaluing our power to evolve. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will mesh the term "short-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to maximize magnetically than to upgrade extensibly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think robust. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "impactful". Without well-chosen methodologies, bleeding-edge Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end aggregation" really mean? Think robust. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with emerging reporting reports? The power to target dynamically leads to the power to embrace ultra-proactively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can productize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. We think we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to extend intra-micro-proactively. Think C2B2B.