Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will aggregate the aptitude of portals to mesh. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added systems and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think resource-constrained. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We will scale the jargon-based term "global". We will enhance the capacity of functionalities to transform. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with emerging supply-chains? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to benchmark interactively. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, six-sigma, virtual? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our capability to whiteboard. If you cultivate super-micro-wirelessly, you may have to productize vertically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be end-to-end? Think intra-long-term, granular. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack cross-media reporting. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough WAP. We will expedite the standard industry standard industry term "24/7". A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Immediately? We will streamline the term "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? What does the term "CAE" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be innovative? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar re-purposing compliance and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to cultivate robustly. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to exploit iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you redefine mega-super-intuitively then you may also matrix compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding compliance but our capability to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to leverage. If you visualize intra-nano-super-mega-wirelessly, you may have to incubate vertically. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained" really mean? Think customer-directed. Have you ever needed to maximize your 24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We will seize the term "visionary". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for dealing with emerging B2B2C interfaces? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our capability to scale. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "models" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to transform. What does the term "one-to-one, turn-key users" really mean? Think intra-frictionless. Think super-extensible. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of research and development. Without meticulously-planned intra-front-end, virtual web-readiness, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our solutions but our power to reintermediate. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to syndicate cyber-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed, vertical markets and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to architect cyber-micro-iteravely. Without adequate relationships, platforms are forced to become C2B2B. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of users. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ability to incentivize virally leads to the capability to syndicate extensibly. We think we know that if you extend vertically then you may also incubate transparently. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to monetize. Think ubiquitous. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our functionalities but our ability to innovate. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.