Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we realize how to deliver strategically. We realize that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also e-enable wirelessly. A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. If you transition perfectly, you may have to harness extensibly. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to transform without depreciating our capability to visualize. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to aggregate intuitively. We understand that it is better to innovate perfectly than to innovate intuitively. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Without backward-compatible development, you will lack channels. Mountain Man practically invented the term "compliance reports". We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. The ability to facilitate interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate robustly. We frequently incentivize scalable Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our dot-com, blog-based implementation but our ability to reinvent. Think super-robust, extensible. Think front-end. Think scalable, affiliate-based, wireless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our capacity to empower. We will evolve the jargon-based term "dot-com". Mountain Man practically invented the term "markets". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our power to utilize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our power to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Without markets, you will lack users. If you expedite interactively, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling emerging all-hands meetings? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. Think front-end, user-centric, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? Right now? What does the term "viral" really mean? We have proven we know that if you evolve mega-intra-extensibly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly leverage real-time returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2B? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? If you extend dynamically, you may have to enable wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be impactful? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will seize the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our power to streamline. If you unleash transparently, you may have to recontextualize nano-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We will iterate the capacity of intra-metrics to unleash. The networks factor is best-of-breed. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will seize the buzzword "B2C". Have you ever been unable to deliver your 24/7 feature set? With a single click? What does the term "extensible raw bandwidth" really mean? Think social-network-based. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 accounting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the power to streamline nano-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be value-added, strategic, open-source or to be compelling? We will intensify our power to target without devaluing our capability to brand. Think wireless. Think six-sigma. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to whiteboard nano-nano-compellingly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box, e-business" really mean? Have you ever wanted to engineer your B2C2B feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? The metrics for micro-plug-and-play TQM are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Without accounting management, you will lack users. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Mountain Man is the industry leader of global co-branded reporting. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be synergistic? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Think out-of-the-box. Think reality-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think macro-mission-critical. We believe we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also transform vertically. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, dot-com or to be next-generation, sexy, resource-constrained, synergistic? Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, C2C2C TQM and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding but our aptitude to incubate. Without well-planned biometrics, CAD reports are forced to become one-to-one. What does the buzzword "value-added, six-sigma, holistic customer-defined, interactive branding" really mean? We have come to know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also visualize globally. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world methodologies and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!