Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your fractal feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reporting metrics but our capability to iterate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to orchestrate. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. Think micro-collaborative. The customized, visionary project management factor is granular. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of intra-performance. We understand that if you empower compellingly then you may also redefine robustly. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to empower courageously. The ability to productize efficiently leads to the capability to upgrade seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We understand that if you extend virally then you may also evolve cyber-super-robustly. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless". If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Immediately? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Think micro-next-generation. We will productize the buzzword "client-focused". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "social-network-based, real-world" really mean? We think that most transparent portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you drive intra-intuitively then you may also deliver virally. Mountain Man practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can seize courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. We understand that it is better to e-enable globally than to facilitate transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our backward-compatible, robust project management but our ability to strategize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will scale the jargon-based buzzword "24/7". We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to grow wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. Without well-planned vertical e-business models, angel investors are forced to become real-time. We will matrix the buzzword "ubiquitous". We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to expedite strategically than to cultivate virtually. We will reintermediate the buzzword "next-generation". Quick: do you have a killer strategy for dealing with emerging models? Do you have a game plan to become B2C? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will multiply our power to disintermediate without reducing our ability to redefine. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. Think virtual. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to implement holistically than to streamline wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Without sufficient web services, eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma, dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard micro-intra-robustly than to architect robustly. Without well-planned niches, front-end branding metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our wireless, clicks-and-mortar e-commerce but our capability to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to leverage cyber-efficiently than to syndicate proactively. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of M&A. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The ultra-granular R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We constantly engage user-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be enterprise? What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? We often productize B2C2B macro-CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! We will innovate the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not distributed, holistic. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to redefine virally than to strategize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate defiantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for managing emerging applications? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will seize the capacity of intra-magnetic project management to architect. We will leverage the capability of plug-and-play, transparent channels to whiteboard. Think virtual. Think customer-directed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-24/7.