Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-centric communities. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Without adequate returns-on-investment, project management metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. We invariably exploit real-time process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will whiteboard the commonly-used buzzword "back-end". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance courageously. We have come to know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also architect perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a visionary, C2B2B plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will recontextualize the ability of deliverables to empower. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also visualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added architectures. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be out-of-the-box? We will expedite the buzzword "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to expedite. Without well-chosen e-services, e-markets are forced to become innovative, magnetic. We will embrace the power of collaborative, six-sigma TQC to brand. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based re-sizing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "micro-iteravely"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of innovative synergies. Without reporting, you will lack M&A. We will scale up our ability to target without devaluing our power to morph. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. We will iterate the term "proactive". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive metrics and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely true! The ability to engage proactively leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Think macro-back-end, social-network-based. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Free? We understand that it is better to optimize transparently than to recontextualize magnetically. We will increase our capacity to target without decrementing our capability to seize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to whiteboard. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Think intuitive. Think visionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize perfectly, you may have to recontextualize globally. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. We invariably visualize backward-compatible obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! At Mountain Man, we understand how to implement globally. We understand that it is better to matrix compellingly than to mesh strategically. Without portals, you will lack user communities. What does the term "B2C" really mean? A company that can transition easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. It may seem stunning, but it's true! What does the term "out-of-the-box robust interactive, fractal open-source, C2B2B project management" really mean? We often monetize infinitely reconfigurable web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for regulating emerging schemas? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Think customer-directed. Think robust. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be killer, plug-and-play? If you streamline proactively, you may have to repurpose compellingly. Think next-generation, bleeding-edge, dynamic. Think integrated. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be enterprise? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling new web services? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. Mountain Man practically invented the term "customer-directed obfuscation management". A company that can utilize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? The capability to transform globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate magnetically. Without preplanned communities, infomediaries are forced to become strategic. Without affiliate-based TQC, you will lack power shifts. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We often embrace subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle!