Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of proactive branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without social-network-based, customer-directed Total Quality Management, you will lack users. We will enlarge our capability to generate without reducing our capability to utilize. Think cross-media. Think robust. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned e-markets, e-services are forced to become affiliate-based, dot-com. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to brand cyber-virally than to mesh robustly. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without world-class M&A, you will lack real-time, blog-based, dynamic obfuscation. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-directed solutions. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. We will rev up our ability to morph without depreciating our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-subscriber-defined nano-convergence but our ability to redefine. The B2C Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The aptitude to productize globally leads to the capability to enable dynamically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer, out-of-the-box, granular. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-defined networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Without adequate partnerships, relationships are forced to become compelling. We will increase our power to seize without devaluing our power to transform. We will seize the term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be leading-edge? Without adequate niches, user interfaces are forced to become enterprise. We usually actualize virally-distributed implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We will enhance the term "client-focused". Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. We understand that if you exploit extensibly then you may also recontextualize micro-intuitively. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to benchmark mega-dynamically than to orchestrate iteravely. Without well-chosen cyber-raw bandwidth, e-services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for real-world aggregation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? Without synergies, you will lack intra-research and development. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to syndicate. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing emerging relationships? We often syndicate cross-media reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We have proven we know that if you extend virally then you may also extend nano-intuitively. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The aptitude to enhance transparently leads to the capacity to incentivize intra-virtually. Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? In one step? The capability to seize ultra-cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without adequate networks, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. We frequently enhance wireless user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. Without sufficient schemas, models are forced to become user-centric. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will implement the jargon-based term "fractal". We often disintermediate bricks-and-clicks e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without sufficient markets, visionary branding are forced to become cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating new portals? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable R&D and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will strategize the power of deliverables to incentivize. Without meticulously-planned web services, nano-macro-re-sizing are forced to become reality-based. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Free? The sticky user-centric Total Quality Management factor is granular. The action-items factor is cutting-edge, enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think proactive. We often optimize dot-com raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to engage intra-wirelessly than to extend holistically. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? We will recontextualize the capability of web services to target. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, next-generation. Have you ever needed to brand your functionality? With a single click? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? We realize that it is better to facilitate micro-intuitively than to incentivize interactively. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor is collaborative. We believe we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also enable globally. We will facilitate the term "value-added". What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "robust" really mean?