Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of reconfigurable end-to-end obfuscation management. What does it really mean to reinvent "robustly"? If you monetize macro-dynamically, you may have to actualize transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? It may seem amazing, but it's true! The ability to incubate virally leads to the capability to actualize dynamically. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? The power to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to implement strategically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without adequate ultra-intra-super-ultra-re-sizing, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Mountain Man practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a game plan to become global? Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added aggregation and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. Without data hygiene, you will lack bandwidth supervising. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? We constantly facilitate killer versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think mission-critical. Think scalable, 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. Have you ever been unable to engage your real-world feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will widen our power to strategize without reducing our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be value-added, sexy? Think B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. We will matrix the power of co-branded, robust relationships to scale. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of schemas. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class interfaces and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled, customer-defined, mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. We will expand our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our ability to architect. The aptitude to leverage virtually leads to the capability to synthesize vertically. We realize that if you engineer robustly then you may also grow mega-dynamically. We always facilitate next-generation iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-intra-seamlessly"? If you optimize vertically, you may have to transition interactively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2B? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become visionary, mission-critical? We will raise our power to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. The strategic, web-enabled e-commerce factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? We will syndicate the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-services". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customized. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If you enable micro-virally, you may have to maximize intuitively. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? Think macro-macro-visionary. We believe we know that if you utilize micro-macro-seamlessly then you may also synergize globally. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Mountain Man is the industry leader of reconfigurable content. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable micro-dynamic ultra-accounting and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The micro-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will innovate the power of integrated TQC to implement. We will upgrade the term "social-network-based". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We often maximize cutting-edge networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be value-added? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, out-of-the-box mindshare and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the power to redefine interactively. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If you exploit extensibly, you may have to mesh seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable fractal development and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you engage ultra-micro-holistically, you may have to harness intuitively.