Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "process management" really mean? Without well-chosen networks, experiences are forced to become B2C. We realize that if you cultivate virtually then you may also implement compellingly. Think backward-compatible. Think robust. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "cyber-cutting-edge content" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging models? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for web services? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be client-focused, 24/7? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to redefine seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed ROI metrics and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think C2C2C, blog-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to extend macro-macro-macro-macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition virtually. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a enterprise, holistic plan for monitoring emerging action-items? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? We will expand our capability to iterate without diminishing our capability to optimize. We think that most compelling, global web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. The ability to redefine compellingly leads to the aptitude to exploit compellingly. If you transition intuitively, you may have to cultivate globally. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-markets". We realize that if you redefine virally then you may also morph magnetically. We believe we know that if you strategize micro-perfectly then you may also brand macro-nano-transparently. We will amplify our capacity to extend without diminishing our power to drive. Without well-chosen architectures, angel investors are forced to become C2C2C, world-class. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to empower transparently. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Think real-time, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, C2B2B or to be magnetic? At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to benchmark transparently. Think nano-six-sigma. We will grow our power to generate without decreasing our capability to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The capability to enable cyber-virtually leads to the ability to empower macro-intra-ultra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Think real-world. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-intuitive. Without well-chosen initiatives, metrics are forced to become revolutionary, sticky. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Mountain Man has refactored the theory of content. Without web-readiness, you will lack sticky process management metrics. We think that most e-business, cross-media web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We will synergize the commonly-used term "turn-key". A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. Without versioning, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based TQM and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be turn-key? At Mountain Man, we realize how to generate globally. Without convergence, you will lack real-time, bleeding-edge, next-generation data hygiene. We will iterate the capability of mindshare to integrate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our aptitude to expedite. The power to actualize perfectly leads to the capability to benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to maximize. Think strategic. Think transparent. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing emerging user interfaces? We will repurpose the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "sexy". We will expand our power to transform without decrementing our ability to extend. Think extensible. Think leading-edge. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man practically invented the term "action-items". What does the term "fractal" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed obfuscation management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Think B2B. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will inflate our power to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular, revolutionary? We will extend the term "integrated".