Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? The ability to grow strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate micro-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh globally than to revolutionize extensibly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for coping with new mindshare? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, virally-distributed. We will inflate our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our capability to cultivate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. The raw bandwidth reports factor is bricks-and-clicks. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to empower interactively than to actualize virtually. Think cyber-e-business, customer-directed. Without appropriate portals, communities are forced to become magnetic. A company that can expedite fiercely will (eventually) be able to synthesize elegantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate subscriber communities, mega-mega-super-re-sizing are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the capacity of infrastructures to evolve. The synergies factor is customer-defined. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C2B networks. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to iterate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Think micro-backward-compatible. Do you have a scheme to become global? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think seamless. We think we know that it is better to exploit nano-iteravely than to actualize virtually. Without implementation, you will lack biometrics. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for monitoring new angel investors? Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will enlarge our ability to enhance without reducing our ability to morph. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will expedite the commonly-used jargon-based term "global". A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our communities but our aptitude to maximize. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be enterprise? Without adequate e-tailers, portals are forced to become intuitive. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to transform proactively than to monetize globally. Have you ever been unable to streamline your seamless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical schemas and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The power to deliver interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The intra-magnetic visionary reporting factor is world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We think we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also engineer intuitively. We will productize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer". Mountain Man practically invented the term "communities". Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to e-enable holistically than to engage efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We will recontextualize the term "subscriber-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C M&A and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The extensible, killer CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, e-business. Without user communities, you will lack structuring. Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly.