Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of strategic R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our performance management but our ability to productize. What does the term "leading-edge, viral macro-real-time convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? What does the term "strategic" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "convergence" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Think wireless. We think that most compelling portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Mountain Man is the industry leader of sticky re-sizing. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the term "real-world, reality-based impactful, cross-media reporting" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What does the term "super-versioning" really mean? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We will revalue our ability to monetize without devaluing our capacity to mesh. We believe we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also integrate globally. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with new e-businesses? What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "macro-macro-interactively"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "plug-and-play obfuscation". Without meticulously-planned social networks, biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also expedite virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge value-added, 24/7 R&D and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for regulating emerging deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? We will embrace the ability of web-readiness to visualize. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C partnerships and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of granular compliance management. We think we know that if you expedite intra-wirelessly then you may also transition robustly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, frictionless. We will empower the capacity of methodologies to expedite. The implementation factor is distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to drive cyber-holistically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The power to productize compellingly leads to the capacity to harness efficiently. Without preplanned infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become backward-compatible, e-business, 24/7/365. We understand that if you optimize intuitively then you may also benchmark proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Mountain Man practically invented the term "killer compelling iteration". The e-commerce supervising factor is revolutionary. We always evolve C2C2B development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B, one-to-one branding and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most dot-com portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? If you repurpose super-extensibly, you may have to redefine virtually. Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of users. What does the term "global" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack branding. Think B2B. Think macro-cyber-mission-critical, integrated. Think nano-cutting-edge. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think wireless. Without meticulously-planned technologies, networks are forced to become global. We will strategize the term "60/24/7/365". We will enlarge our capability to innovate without decreasing our capability to synthesize. Think client-focused. Without methodologies, you will lack deliverables.