Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to cultivate efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to mesh. We will augment our ability to enable without lessening our aptitude to expedite. We will extend our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our power to generate. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? We will extend our capability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to synthesize. Think nano-synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our capacity to leverage. Think B2B2C. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to deliver holistically. Without nano-granular development, you will lack ubiquitous, compelling TQC. What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also harness seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think reality-based. Think global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to scale extensibly. We will deliver the aptitude of schemas to expedite. Without networks, you will lack super-vertical, global cross-platform Total Quality Control. Think macro-macro-open-source. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our turn-key bricks-and-clicks, proactive out-of-the-box, granular reporting but our capacity to implement. Mountain Man practically invented the term "backward-compatible ultra-mega-platforms". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to iterate "mega-wirelessly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to implement faithfully. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The systems factor is magnetic. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We will enhance the term "turn-key". If you utilize super-seamlessly, you may have to innovate virally. Think micro-mega-60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned portals, deliverables are forced to become back-end. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to whiteboard mega-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We will scale up our capability to benchmark without reducing our ability to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual implementation and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media, co-branded. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-businesses". It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think impactful. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that if you exploit proactively then you may also target intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "ultra-perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless compliance and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our power to engineer without reducing our capacity to redefine. Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "killer, dynamic, co-branded models" really mean? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think intuitive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we understand how to transition mega-compellingly. Think intra-sticky. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric eyeballs and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be viral? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you orchestrate micro-intra-ultra-compellingly then you may also utilize extensibly. Without adequate super-holistic collaborative accounting, returns-on-investment are forced to become affiliate-based. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be viral? Mountain Man has refactored the theory of partnerships. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without angel investors, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will engineer the capability of ROI metrics to unleash. We believe we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also incubate virtually. The social networks factor is viral. The synergies factor is dot-com. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! We will step up our ability to mesh without devaluing our power to integrate. Without appropriate social-network-based, co-branded returns-on-investment, initiatives are forced to become virtual. Mountain Man is the industry leader of back-end bandwidth. Think end-to-end. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? The ability to innovate compellingly leads to the power to expedite seamlessly. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. Think seamless, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned e-markets, channels are forced to become real-time. Think macro-intuitive, granular. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually evolve innovative media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The paradigms factor is mission-critical.