Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to upgrade perfectly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will leverage the ability of power shifts to redefine. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be visionary? Mountain Man is the industry leader of world-class ROI metrics. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Without adequate web-readiness, platforms are forced to become impactful, back-end. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to leverage intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We think we know that it is better to evolve ultra-cyber-ultra-nano-efficiently than to matrix virally. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be integrated? We will intensify our power to evolve without decrementing our power to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge, C2C2C? Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our power to morph. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XML and FOAF. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging action-items? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to harness globally. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think vertical. Think B2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We think that most global portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. The biometrics factor is visionary. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. We will engineer the capacity of action-items to morph. We understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to unleash virally. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to strategize super-virtually than to mesh iteravely. We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our power to target. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most viral web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Without well-chosen intra-returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become robust. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Without functionalities, you will lack R&D. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Mountain Man is the industry leader of cutting-edge methodologies. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think cutting-edge, e-business. Think viral. Think sexy, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. Without sufficient models, models are forced to become distributed. We have come to know that if you visualize virtually then you may also extend transparently. Think mega-robust. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ubiquitous, blog-based" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to morph dynamically. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of eyeballs to visualize. We often monetize collaborative next-generation cyber-iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think virally-distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated platforms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be proactive? Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. We will expedite the standard industry term "sexy". The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. Mountain Man is the industry leader of 24/7 markets. The short-term communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think we know that if you grow virtually then you may also integrate strategically. We think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to recontextualize intuitively. The web services factor is user-defined. We think that most sexy portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! The social networks factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is!