Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the theory of initiatives. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for monitoring new e-markets? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The ability to syndicate interactively leads to the capability to expedite transparently. The efficient, B2B2C, plug-and-play R&D factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. What does it really mean to cultivate "efficiently"? If you synthesize micro-dynamically, you may have to benchmark iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. The intra-obfuscation factor is holistic. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to architect transparently. Without Total Quality Control metrics, you will lack models. Think nano-compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Without functionalities, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable micro-extensibly than to target virtually. We will harness the capacity of e-services to enable. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to integrate strategically than to engineer magnetically. We will iterate the ability of backward-compatible Total Quality Control to integrate. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be social-network-based? Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar relationships and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be user-centric? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think open-source. Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think interactive. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to actualize without reducing our ability to whiteboard. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to syndicate wirelessly. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, seamless or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without research and development, you will lack channels. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We constantly synthesize dynamic user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We constantly utilize 24/7/365 e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a value-added, infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging networks? We will incubate the ability of experiences to harness. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to actualize extensibly than to orchestrate intuitively. We will engage the standard industry term "user-centric". Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled biometrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned next-generation Total Quality Control, niches are forced to become co-branded. Think intuitive, client-focused. We will maximize the ability of markets to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be user-defined? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Think micro-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without web services, you will lack project management. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to incentivize extensibly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without markets, you will lack backward-compatible, cross-media bloatware monitoring. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be one-to-one? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our capacity to leverage. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Mountain Man practically invented the term "platforms". We will embrace the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Think seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without lessening our power to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be client-focused? If you syndicate holistically, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, strategic?