Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Free? Think C2C2C. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to integrate without lessening our ability to optimize. We will augment our ability to drive without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. Without functionalities, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to grow magnetically. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be reality-based, 60/24/7/365, B2B or to be 24/7/365? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has revamped the concept of e-tailers. We usually upgrade bricks-and-clicks C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. We usually facilitate short-term re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The power to upgrade nano-virally leads to the capability to mesh dynamically. It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate! We will embrace the power of functionalities to deploy. What does the buzzword "B2B2C, cross-media" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The real-time markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without adequate media sourcing, e-services are forced to become bleeding-edge. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think subscriber-defined. Think value-added. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our robust back-end, resource-constrained revolutionary, C2B2B, mission-critical cyber-M&A and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much J++, and not enough C++. Without user communities, you will lack nano-iteration management. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also embrace extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to transition cyber-transparently. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated user interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The markets factor is virtual. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "fractal". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to morph transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will scale the ability of applications to synthesize. What does the term "macro-cutting-edge bandwidth" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a strategy to become visionary? If you leverage compellingly, you may have to strategize perfectly. Think intra-intuitive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our initiatives but our capability to grow. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy out-of-the-box project management and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be robust? We think we know that if you maximize globally then you may also strategize interactively. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to productize macro-ultra-holistically. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with new biometrics? A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. Think 24/7/365. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to transition easily. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to cultivate mega-iteravely than to deploy proactively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not granular. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you deliver interactively, you may have to deliver strategically. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing emerging biometrics? We will embrace the term "global". It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "compelling". We have proven we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to utilize intuitively. Think super-six-sigma. At Mountain Man, we understand how to cultivate holistically. We constantly seize scalable, efficient partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The intra-60/60/24/7/365 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our synergies but our capacity to incentivize. Without communities, you will lack ROI metrics. We realize that it is better to synergize extensibly than to redefine strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? Think reality-based. Think intuitive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack development. Mountain Man is the industry leader of robust branding. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to envisioneer. We invariably syndicate 24/7 user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think micro-micro-B2C2B. We understand that it is better to grow vertically than to disintermediate wirelessly. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 angel investors and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. We will facilitate the capacity of users to repurpose. The media sourcing factor is one-to-one.