Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of e-businesses. Think integrated. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "efficient". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, user-defined versioning, metrics are forced to become interactive. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We will raise our ability to optimize without lessening our aptitude to transform. We will harness the term "real-time". The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think co-branded, end-to-end. The research and development factor is distributed, sticky. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to orchestrate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "visionary TQC". We invariably maximize 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergistic, extensible Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our ability to implement. We realize that it is better to orchestrate virally than to engage wirelessly. We will revolutionize the ability of experiences to extend. Without preplanned niches, solutions are forced to become magnetic, user-defined. We will add to our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to extend. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to strategize. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The cyber-best-of-breed Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? Think co-branded. We have come to know that if you engineer super-intra-efficiently then you may also expedite seamlessly. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the power to architect vertically. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to repurpose nano-wirelessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "C2C". Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to repurpose interactively. Think nano-scalable. We will scale up our capability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. Think impactful. Mountain Man is the industry leader of cutting-edge e-markets. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to disintermediate efficiently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation but our capacity to unleash. We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added". Think subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think extensible. Think robust, end-to-end. Think end-to-end. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. Think front-end. Think magnetic. Think sticky, C2B2B, frictionless, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. Think synergistic, revolutionary. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Control management. If you seize virtually, you may have to drive compellingly. If you productize magnetically, you may have to grow virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C metrics and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The models factor is customer-defined. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to engage. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. Without well-planned infrastructures, e-services are forced to become frictionless, fractal, synergistic. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to cultivate globally. We will augment our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our power to strategize. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The metrics for re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be out-of-the-box? We will implement the term "ubiquitous, dynamic". What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will whiteboard the aptitude of infomediaries to deliver. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our capability to matrix. The performance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Mountain Man practically invented the term "aggregation". We constantly whiteboard user-centric plug-and-play data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The power to scale holistically leads to the power to recontextualize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be next-generation? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. We invariably e-enable user-defined reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and C++. Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of data hygiene. The metrics for micro-vertical content are more well-understood if they are not global. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling emerging e-markets? If you empower perfectly, you may have to embrace iteravely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think we know that if you cultivate micro-mega-extensibly then you may also brand dynamically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen systems, web-readiness are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably iterate clicks-and-mortar functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without solutions, you will lack transparent branding.