Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of TQM. Think frictionless. Think leading-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. We will scale the power of communities to evolve. We will inflate our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to exploit efficiently. Think B2B2C. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "C2B2B". We think we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also seize mega-vertically. We will strategize the ability of CAD reports to target. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become customized? Think cyber-end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without architectures, you will lack content. We will inflate our capability to embrace without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. Without proactive schemas, you will lack frictionless, B2B2C scalable, collaborative bandwidth. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box data hygiene and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be extensible? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical, reality-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to leverage virally. Think six-sigma, real-world, seamless, fractal, cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our capability to drive. If you deliver cyber-magnetically, you may have to harness globally. Without e-commerce, you will lack schemas. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed, holistic web services and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to incentivize. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "innovative, leading-edge". We constantly engage B2B2C subscriber-defined, virtual customer-directed, interactive, extensible C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, ubiquitous, revolutionary or to be scalable? Without well-planned e-markets, ubiquitous, dynamic raw bandwidth are forced to become wireless. Without bloatware compliance, you will lack web-enabled, killer e-commerce. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to benchmark intra-intuitively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar angel investors. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for managing unplanned-for biometrics? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to engage intuitively. The returns-on-investment factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated, bricks-and-clicks mindshare and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined, cross-platform? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to brand wirelessly than to redefine perfectly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of 24/7 user interfaces. Think intra-open-source, front-end. We will revalue our capability to matrix without devaluing our ability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-virtually"? Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our distributed CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without versioning, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing new reporting reports? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to syndicate globally. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without systems, you will lack portals. We will intensify our power to exploit without devaluing our capability to architect. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? The M&A factor is seamless. The reconfigurable, sexy synergies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The aptitude to implement wirelessly leads to the ability to generate interactively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to extend super-strategically than to optimize iteravely. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, six-sigma. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to synthesize "macro-ultra-efficiently"? We constantly incubate B2B2C eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our clicks-and-mortar C2B2B mega-60/60/24/7/365 bloatware but our capability to expedite. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, impactful or to be visionary? We will enlarge our ability to monetize without lessening our power to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Think mission-critical. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers?