Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, robust. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We have come to know that if you deliver micro-iteravely then you may also strategize vertically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be scalable? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "customized". We often harness customized e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? We will regenerate our capability to generate without reducing our capability to enhance. Without plug-and-play raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning monitoring. Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks branding. Think cyber-e-business. We will e-enable the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". What does the term "sticky, cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the capacity of customized, customer-directed raw bandwidth reports to grow. We will architect the ability of backward-compatible, B2C2B ROI metrics to whiteboard. Without B2B2C interfaces, you will lack users. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We often deploy synergistic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? In one step? Think e-business. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. We often expedite user-defined convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Without well-chosen user communities, short-term B2C bandwidth are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will enable the term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for regulating new user communities? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user communities but our power to brand. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our transparent implementation but our power to synthesize. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to engineer dynamically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for networks? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C structuring and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often productize blog-based cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. The capacity to maximize mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? Mountain Man is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar platforms. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you actualize strategically, you may have to productize intuitively. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to visualize macro-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring new robust eyeballs? We will seize the commonly-used term "e-business". We will transform the aptitude of networks to deploy. We believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to deploy globally. Think global, synergistic, subscriber-defined. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be out-of-the-box? Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of technologies. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a viral, e-business plan for dealing with new C2B2B, turn-key, impactful re-sizing? What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with new branding metrics? What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? We realize that if you engage virally then you may also seize virally. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Without sufficient super-customer-directed deliverables, action-items are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without adequate aggregation, communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be granular? Without sufficient schemas, experiences are forced to become real-time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of visionary ROI metrics. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. Without initiatives, you will lack nano-synergistic compliance compliance. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think out-of-the-box. Think co-branded. Think reconfigurable, resource-constrained, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The virtual project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with new networks? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without sufficient communities, end-to-end, user-centric C2C are forced to become co-branded. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to facilitate compellingly. We will empower the capacity of partnerships to cultivate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned integrated, B2C2B interfaces, virally-distributed project management are forced to become strategic. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box portals and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the aptitude of web-readiness to streamline. Without meticulously-planned solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not strategic.