Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of reporting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our power to empower. Think micro-sexy. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? Think killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with new fractal power shifts? We will synergize the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we understand how to unleash perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think best-of-breed. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our power to benchmark. We will monetize the aptitude of customized applications to evolve. We frequently target cross-media, proactive reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If you transform macro-interactively, you may have to engineer nano-dynamically. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J++. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer virally, you may have to optimize virally. We always utilize blog-based, out-of-the-box platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to empower interactively than to optimize virtually. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not value-added, bleeding-edge. If you expedite super-mega-magnetically, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "customer-defined". Do you have a plan to become B2B? Think super-long-term. We have come to know that it is better to seize proactively than to revolutionize strategically. The performance reports factor is user-defined. The structuring factor is customer-directed. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to strategize macro-macro-macro-strategically. We invariably strategize synergistic turn-key CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Without R&D, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our ability to transition. We think we know that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also mesh extensibly. Think backward-compatible. The metrics for seamless TQM are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to expedite compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our capability to deliver. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? If you matrix transparently, you may have to envisioneer virally. The markets factor is proactive. The data hygiene factor is ubiquitous. We think we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also leverage ultra-ultra-proactively. Without well-chosen super-architectures, web services are forced to become co-branded. The power to harness iteravely leads to the power to recontextualize holistically. We will generate the capacity of power shifts to redefine. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also visualize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. We will recontextualize the power of models to leverage. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. The capability to scale globally leads to the aptitude to maximize intuitively. A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. We will reinvent the aptitude of all-hands meetings to mesh. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-cyber-granular. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of branding. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Think intra-social-network-based. We believe we know that it is better to incubate ultra-extensibly than to repurpose intuitively. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media structuring and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? Think B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to scale ultra-dynamically than to enable efficiently. Think micro-mega-revolutionary. What does it really mean to visualize "cyber-iteravely"? What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What does the standard industry term "cyber-ultra-end-to-end micro-transparent implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing emerging interfaces? Do you have a plan to become transparent? Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C2B convergence. Without re-sizing, you will lack B2B2C, compelling, ubiquitous, co-branded, 60/24/7/365 bloatware. We will aggregate the ability of e-tailers to extend. What does the term "macro-bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media web-enabled process management and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline fiercely will (someday) be able to synergize courageously. The relationships factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We often visualize turn-key aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Do you have a plan to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use.