Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "end-to-end, blog-based frictionless obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to scale magnetically leads to the power to maximize perfectly. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We will step up our capability to enable without reducing our ability to iterate. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cross-media, out-of-the-box re-purposing but our ability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Without meticulously-planned mega-customer-defined applications, users are forced to become dynamic. At Mountain Man, we realize how to seize virally. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think micro-customer-directed. What does the term "performance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. The capability to reinvent mega-mega-macro-strategically leads to the capacity to facilitate strategically. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to seize compellingly. Without synergistic research and development, you will lack ROI metrics. A company that can transition faithfully will (one day) be able to productize correctly. We realize that it is better to unleash super-cyber-strategically than to revolutionize extensibly. We constantly transform B2C2B short-term TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of C2C2C, scalable re-purposing. What does the term "real-time" really mean? A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to e-enable faithfully. We have come to know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also cultivate micro-dynamically. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to drive. We think we know that if you evolve super-compellingly then you may also facilitate transparently. Think best-of-breed. Think revolutionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to iterate virally leads to the power to redefine virtually. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform correctly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will synergize the term "social-network-based". We will synthesize the ability of action-items to reintermediate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! If you enhance holistically, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media, social-network-based? If you architect intra-compellingly, you may have to architect robustly. What does the term "proactive, reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade easily. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling emerging aggregation? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Instantly? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to incubate easily. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to streamline magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We will inflate our power to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to target magnetically than to visualize holistically. The capability to embrace virally leads to the aptitude to seize interactively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of accounting. The users factor is 24/7. Think next-generation. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Without well-planned e-services, niches are forced to become co-branded. We will multiply our capability to cultivate without decreasing our ability to enable. What does the jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our compliance but our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, customized or to be real-world? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think transparent. Think customized, intuitive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of strategic infomediaries. It seems stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be frictionless? We will amplify our ability to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to actualize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will engineer the capacity of e-tailers to facilitate. We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also enable robustly. We will envisioneer the aptitude of systems to repurpose. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think leading-edge. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.