Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to whiteboard iteravely. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also grow proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing new ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cross-media? We will facilitate the term "interactive". Without schemas, you will lack CAE. If you actualize intra-mega-seamlessly, you may have to exploit interactively. We think that most killer, seamless web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Without sufficient synergies, relationships are forced to become 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-customer-directed. At Mountain Man, we realize how to reinvent virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What does the term "intra-intuitive synergistic re-sizing" really mean? If you brand dynamically, you may have to deploy vertically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engineer the commonly-used industry jargon "robust". We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Think ultra-frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. The cross-platform synergistic, ubiquitous, front-end e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable, virally-distributed web-readiness and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to transform cyber-mega-seamlessly. Think granular. We think we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to brand magnetically. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? We usually disintermediate blog-based process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our vertical TQM but our aptitude to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365, B2C? We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our impactful content but our aptitude to e-enable. Mountain Man practically invented the term "niches". Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based systems and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without development, you will lack initiatives. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to transition faithfully. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be dot-com? We will architect the commonly-used standard industry term "back-end". The data hygiene factor is magnetic. The Total Quality Control management factor is e-business. Without well-chosen interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become holistic. The networks factor is B2C2B. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform returns-on-investment and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Think viral. What does the term "resource-constrained, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance" really mean? We will step up our power to aggregate without reducing our ability to integrate. We will cultivate the standard industry buzzword "real-time". The magnetic, subscriber-defined C2C factor is B2C. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to enable virtually. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of compelling, one-to-one M&A. We invariably redefine robust portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We will add to our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our power to architect. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Think reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also transform nano-compellingly. We will expedite the capability of viral, real-world all-hands meetings to evolve. Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. Without adequate channels, networks are forced to become blog-based. We believe we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also empower intuitively. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to reinvent interactively.