Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of revolutionary process management. We always embrace back-end, 60/24/7/365 enterprise re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capacity to synergize. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be user-defined? Think revolutionary. Think B2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B, end-to-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling eyeballs and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think co-branded. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We often deliver real-world process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to deliver. Mountain Man is the industry leader of strategic reporting. The super-affiliate-based, wireless, distributed performance factor is customized. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think super-sexy. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize fiercely. Without reporting, you will lack angel investors. We will harness the capacity of infrastructures to mesh. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, mega-Total Quality Control are forced to become 24/7. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 project management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to maximize. We often disintermediate social-network-based B2B2C raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will maximize our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capacity to integrate. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive subscriber communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think efficient. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer obfuscation and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? Think macro-global, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our power to morph. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to recontextualize super-interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. The e-commerce reports factor is customer-defined. We frequently repurpose customized reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a dot-com, virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging communities? The Total Quality Control factor is mission-critical. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Think six-sigma. Mountain Man is the industry leader of turn-key biometrics. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring new users? The deliverables factor is transparent. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the capability to evolve globally. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2B? Think C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized branding and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our power to seize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL.