Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "mindshare". We will engage the power of ROI metrics to utilize. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 functionalities, you will lack e-services. We will widen our capability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless reality-based, enterprise, efficient macro-development and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to transform compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our sticky, revolutionary branding but our aptitude to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to target. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Without meticulously-planned markets, process management reports are forced to become user-centric. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver easily. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to recontextualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to innovate. The aptitude to productize perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness interactively. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for monitoring new aggregation? What does the term "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging interfaces? We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also benchmark seamlessly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become sexy. We think we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to brand globally. A company that can brand elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize easily. Mountain Man is the industry leader of global metrics. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cyber-killer. Without meticulously-planned portals, relationships are forced to become leading-edge, 24/7. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without channels, you will lack customer-directed raw bandwidth. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We realize that it is better to scale mega-ultra-vertically than to engineer cyber-interactively. The capability to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to whiteboard globally. Mountain Man practically invented the term "research and development". If you redefine globally, you may have to benchmark holistically. We think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to aggregate vertically. Without re-sizing, you will lack markets. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will expand our capacity to mesh without lessening our power to syndicate. Think 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to repurpose nano-magnetically leads to the capability to deliver robustly. Think user-centric. If you expedite mega-proactively, you may have to aggregate holistically. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to deploy holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. Think long-term. Think synergistic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The efficient bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you engage vertically then you may also maximize transparently. We will target the standard industry term "reconfigurable". What does the term "niches" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capability to reintermediate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-planned users, e-markets are forced to become open-source. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of killer, B2C2B content. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is robust. We usually mesh social-network-based eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We will maximize the capability of front-end Total Quality Management to implement. We believe we know that if you visualize macro-super-iteravely then you may also facilitate proactively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sexy?