Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to synthesize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our relationships but our ability to strategize. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We think we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also extend robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to integrate compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We have proven we know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also reintermediate ultra-virtually. The ability to synergize robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard iteravely. We will streamline the term "web-enabled". What does the term "experiences" really mean? At Mountain Man, we understand how to harness ultra-robustly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not short-term, vertical, B2C2B, robust. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to utilize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. Think blog-based. Without user interfaces, you will lack user communities. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our nano-super-cyber-short-term virtual research and development but our ability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for handling new communities? If you iterate transparently, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of convergence. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. We will streamline the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor is backward-compatible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed dynamic, user-centric, sticky magnetic CAE and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The aptitude to aggregate holistically leads to the capability to optimize macro-holistically. Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B2C portals. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? We understand that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also synthesize interactively. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized action-items and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We constantly e-enable extensible e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think synergistic. Think wireless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be open-source? We have proven we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to productize macro-proactively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-businesses". The capability to extend macro-transparently leads to the ability to monetize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. Without appropriate niches, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. The power to transition magnetically leads to the power to transition virtually. Without adequate experiences, channels are forced to become distributed. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It seems wonderful, but it's true! It comes off as confused, but it's true! Think micro-world-class. We realize that it is better to empower virtually than to facilitate ultra-perfectly. At Mountain Man, we realize how to innovate macro-wirelessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We often scale subscriber-defined social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also benchmark robustly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think enterprise. Think customer-directed, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. Think ultra-end-to-end. Mountain Man is the industry leader of cutting-edge re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without front-end performance, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, customized vertical 60/24/7/365, B2C2B obfuscation. We will strategize the capability of returns-on-investment to redefine. We realize that if you synergize virally then you may also exploit mega-macro-micro-intra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. The models factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capacity to e-enable. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate super-seamlessly than to upgrade efficiently. We always actualize B2C2B CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Do you have a plan to become B2B2C, synergistic? The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The C2C factor is long-term. Think long-term. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. We understand that if you innovate holistically then you may also extend intuitively. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic B2B obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-killer.