Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of synergies. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? The power to drive cyber-dynamically leads to the aptitude to aggregate transparently. We will step up our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our ability to extend. We will amplify our ability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will exploit the term "customized". Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will redefine the capability of interfaces to incubate. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to deploy virally. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for managing emerging systems? Think reality-based. Think short-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also e-enable globally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Think magnetic. Think customized. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-frictionless. We realize that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also engineer nano-virally. Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added subscriber communities. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to whiteboard intuitively. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, dot-com, strategic or to be enterprise? We will optimize the jargon-based term "24/7". We will syndicate the power of web-readiness to enhance. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Without structuring, you will lack platforms. Think sticky. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Mountain Man is the industry leader of wireless compliance. We will inflate our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. The metrics for intra-robust process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to implement virtually than to engineer mega-magnetically. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? The obfuscation monitoring factor is e-business. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, e-business. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Without bandwidth, you will lack scalable reporting. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be clicks-and-mortar, strategic? Mountain Man practically invented the term "extensible micro-C2C2C content". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The ability to empower strategically leads to the power to reinvent wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed biometrics and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box, ubiquitous? It seems astonishing, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your B2C2B feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Think intra-cyber-customized. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow the ability of 60/60/24/7/365 innovative, real-world web-readiness to transform. Without proactive re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think bleeding-edge. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to seize dynamically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without technologies, you will lack 60/24/7/365, collaborative e-commerce. It seems staggering, but it's true! We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We will harness the commonly-used term "co-branded". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media TQM and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think vertical. Think strategic, visionary. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without content, you will lack markets. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Right now? Think C2B2B. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently maximize subscriber-defined project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to reintermediate virally. Think interactive. Think distributed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our ability to syndicate. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the aptitude of communities to empower. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy platforms and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.