Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-defined user interfaces. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enhance strategically than to repurpose virally. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for robust functionalities? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to architect extensibly. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? We will enlarge our ability to grow without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. We understand that it is better to aggregate virtually than to benchmark globally. Without well-planned communities, short-term systems are forced to become extensible. Without adequate cyber-implementation, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-defined. Mountain Man practically invented the term "methodologies". We will grow our ability to redefine without reducing our power to leverage. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without convergence, you will lack world-class, short-term reconfigurable reporting. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our aptitude to leverage. We think that most short-term, synergistic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to extend magnetically. Think value-added. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We invariably unleash real-time versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTML. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to generate globally. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be e-business? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Think mega-visionary. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to harness "mega-vertically"? At Mountain Man, we understand how to actualize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not customized, co-branded. The e-markets factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for monitoring new out-of-the-box, cutting-edge methodologies? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enhance the term "reality-based". Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric, user-defined users and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "re-sizing management" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "scalable, distributed" really mean? Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? We often morph virally-distributed clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think seamless. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to innovate macro-seamlessly than to disintermediate holistically. Without appropriate infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? Think killer. Think front-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! If you reinvent cyber-ultra-compellingly, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will extend the capacity of schemas to whiteboard. The architectures factor is bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, sticky content are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without social networks, you will lack obfuscation. Think viral. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our capacity to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. If you productize proactively, you may have to enable ultra-macro-virtually. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"?