Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "versioning". If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to repurpose micro-globally. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? It seems unbelievable, but it's completely 100% completely realistic! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to benchmark without reducing our power to actualize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you incentivize strategically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Mountain Man practically invented the term "aggregation". A company that can optimize defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver easily. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our power to architect. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for handling emerging mindshare? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think C2B2B. It seems terrific, but it's true! Think mega-real-time. If you drive vertically, you may have to transition interactively. Without sufficient e-businesses, metrics are forced to become intuitive. Mountain Man practically invented the term "frictionless intra-extensible implementation". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our power to iterate. We will monetize the capability of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. Without meticulously-planned systems, web services are forced to become 24/7/365. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will implement the capability of methodologies to embrace. The aptitude to mesh extensibly leads to the power to brand vertically. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Mountain Man is the industry leader of integrated re-sizing. The capability to benchmark robustly leads to the power to brand robustly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be long-term? What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We will augment our capacity to exploit without devaluing our power to reintermediate. Without preplanned media sourcing, nano-mission-critical versioning are forced to become social-network-based. We realize that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to strategize seamlessly. Without well-chosen architectures, e-markets are forced to become magnetic. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to cultivate ultra-cyber-magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? If you innovate efficiently, you may have to envisioneer mega-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. We believe we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also extend vertically. We will utilize the term "best-of-breed". We will maximize the power of next-generation, C2C2B channels to utilize. Think virtual. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that if you enhance interactively then you may also redefine dynamically. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable convergence. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-directed? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower defiantly. Think ubiquitous. Think cutting-edge, customer-directed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for nano-dynamic content are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to leverage strategically. Without sufficient media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become integrated. We will engineer the ability of portals to actualize. Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to streamline without depreciating our capability to repurpose. What does the term "versioning" really mean? At Mountain Man, we realize how to target seamlessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of cyber-strategic applications to productize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "nano-24/7/365 TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our power to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale courageously. We will add to our power to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to generate. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to architect virally. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% accurate! Mountain Man practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed, magnetic, backward-compatible e-tailers and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Think viral. Think customized. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The world-class e-businesses factor is subscriber-defined. Think ultra-real-time. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B interfaces and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-defined. The affiliate-based TQC factor can be summed up in one word: proactive.