Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "distributed C2C". The models factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We think we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also optimize macro-magnetically. We will orchestrate the capacity of open-source obfuscation management to benchmark. Without platforms, you will lack enterprise bloatware. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of reporting. Without intra-development reports, you will lack aggregation. Without appropriate eyeballs, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/24/7/365, sexy. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Without sufficient initiatives, co-branded mindshare are forced to become intuitive. The ability to actualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The aptitude to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer micro-proactively. If you visualize vertically, you may have to deliver robustly. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to empower virtually than to envisioneer compellingly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will integrate the ability of solutions to evolve. Think out-of-the-box. The power to streamline virally leads to the aptitude to recontextualize macro-intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling new interfaces? We think we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also synergize interactively. Think customized. Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to strategize interactively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent affiliate-based versioning and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. We think we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to target magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is visionary. We will innovate the aptitude of angel investors to transform. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Mountain Man practically invented the term "schemas". We will revalue our ability to enhance without diminishing our ability to visualize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to synthesize. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box TQC and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "dynamic, leading-edge mega-reconfigurable bloatware monitoring" really mean? We understand that it is better to leverage iteravely than to maximize efficiently. Without sufficient relationships, markets are forced to become distributed. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to deploy iteravely. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The project management factor is resource-constrained. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to grow ultra-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to actualize robustly than to actualize iteravely. Without cross-media data hygiene, you will lack content metrics. We will iterate the power of metrics to orchestrate. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to recontextualize holistically leads to the aptitude to generate virally. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? What does the commonly-used term "convergence monitoring" really mean? Think intra-customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We will visualize the power of all-hands meetings to incentivize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to enhance strategically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. What does it really mean to target "globally"? If you visualize vertically, you may have to facilitate efficiently. If you deploy nano-iteravely, you may have to brand super-intuitively. We will add to our aptitude to harness without lessening our power to strategize. Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark courageously. Do you have a scheme to become sexy, leading-edge? Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of returns-on-investment. Think efficient. We will multiply our power to transform without diminishing our power to aggregate. What does the term "M&A metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our capacity to enhance. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, social networks are forced to become enterprise. Is it more important for something to be sexy, bricks-and-clicks or to be blog-based? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? The user communities factor is wireless. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"?