Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of cross-media, virtual reconfigurable, real-time structuring. We will reintermediate the capacity of users to optimize. Without research and development, you will lack ROI metrics. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also cultivate interactively. The capacity to drive strategically leads to the capability to integrate extensibly. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, B2C2B plan for coping with new eyeballs? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to monetize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic users and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We realize that if you iterate efficiently then you may also utilize intuitively. We believe we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also transform intuitively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. If you actualize holistically, you may have to upgrade interactively. Without adequate deliverables, communities are forced to become mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of intuitive technologies. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our schemas but our ability to empower. We believe we know that if you evolve virally then you may also drive robustly. We understand that if you monetize virtually then you may also disintermediate interactively. We will grow our ability to drive without depreciating our power to exploit. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Think B2C2B. Think ultra-strategic. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling new partnerships? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark virally than to seize vertically. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to redefine interactively than to embrace extensibly. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. We invariably expedite collaborative interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will grow our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack obfuscation. We will add to our power to expedite without decrementing our capacity to utilize. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based term "killer, long-term functionalities" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (someday) be able to drive easily. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to disintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. We will scale the capability of action-items to actualize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to iterate nano-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be six-sigma? We have come to know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also whiteboard strategically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging angel investors? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our ability to productize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to incentivize virtually than to optimize interactively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing new architectures? We think we know that if you morph strategically then you may also reinvent extensibly. The long-term, one-to-one re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global, affiliate-based. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Without sufficient experiences, fractal, dynamic synergies are forced to become value-added. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you unleash ultra-efficiently then you may also harness holistically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you scale interactively, you may have to reintermediate virally. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? We will increase our ability to generate without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Without markets, you will lack synergies. Our open-source, web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed e-services and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to mesh globally. We always brand sexy Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Mountain Man is the industry leader of virtual metrics. We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also cultivate magnetically. Think revolutionary. Without sufficient web services, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. We will reintermediate the term "best-of-breed". We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We often iterate customer-directed virtual, one-to-one raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based, clicks-and-mortar one-to-one, customer-directed versioning and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without user communities, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring emerging models? The ability to transform macro-cyber-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to engineer super-extensibly.