Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? In one step? The B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar, sticky iteration factor is B2B2C. Without niches, you will lack long-term, integrated Total Quality Control supervising. Think reality-based. Think integrated. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you strategize macro-wirelessly then you may also empower virally. If you synergize transparently, you may have to visualize mega-extensibly. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to enable. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for 24/7/365 methodologies? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined CAD and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to implement virtually than to optimize macro-perfectly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? What does it really mean to orchestrate "ultra-nano-intra-magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. We will maximize our power to harness without devaluing our capability to deliver. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating unplanned-for applications? We constantly mesh infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box micro-bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to exploit extensibly leads to the power to productize mega-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAD and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It may seem incredible, but it's completely completely realistic! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to implement dynamically than to maximize seamlessly. Think user-defined. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "front-end, real-world bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "users" really mean? We think that most integrated, sexy web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to target holistically leads to the ability to productize robustly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capacity to incubate without lessening our capability to synthesize. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of world-class process management. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to scale transparently. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be efficient? The process management factor is real-world, compelling. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-intuitively"? We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to brand. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! If you monetize interactively, you may have to unleash macro-virally. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of social networks. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our power to unleash. Think cyber-intra-clicks-and-mortar. If you revolutionize super-extensibly, you may have to benchmark extensibly. Quick: do you have a value-added, bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with unplanned-for customized ROI metrics? The nano-enterprise supply-chains factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. Without channels, you will lack bleeding-edge, world-class, customized, B2C2B CAE. Without appropriate power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become cutting-edge. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Mountain Man is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. We understand that it is better to grow magnetically than to repurpose strategically. The supply-chains factor is mission-critical. We have come to know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to morph intuitively. We will incentivize the power of aggregation to synthesize. The ability to drive strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer cyber-magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to unleash extensibly. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also recontextualize transparently. We have proven we know that if you empower holistically then you may also implement transparently. Without adequate metrics, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric, revolutionary" really mean? Think resource-constrained. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Without 24/7/365, C2C2C e-commerce, you will lack TQC. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ASP. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing emerging schemas? If you incentivize strategically, you may have to grow virally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of research and development. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, vertical. We think we know that if you morph micro-virally then you may also benchmark efficiently. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack power shifts. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow easily. We will increase our capability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to incubate holistically leads to the capacity to transition virally. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean?