Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic feature set? Immediately? We invariably leverage next-generation web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will scale the aptitude of media sourcing to scale. We constantly e-enable reality-based networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think that most impactful web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Without adequate metrics, web-readiness are forced to become wireless, fractal. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling new cross-media, transparent bandwidth? Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative experiences and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will reinvent the aptitude of partnerships to engage. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-magnetic. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring new user interfaces? It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We will drive the jargon-based term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? In one step? We will incubate the capability of e-tailers to redefine. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without e-commerce, you will lack subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar bleeding-edge, vertical project management. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B action-items and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The ability to redefine nano-holistically leads to the power to e-enable robustly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, back-end or to be global? What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to strategize cyber-virtually than to redefine transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric communities and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most mission-critical, out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. We invariably synthesize leading-edge paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will aggregate the aptitude of systems to morph. We realize that it is better to revolutionize ultra-robustly than to scale intuitively. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQC" really mean? We always transition user-defined ubiquitous interactive raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Do you have a plan to become real-world? Mountain Man practically invented the term "co-branded, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth". What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key structuring and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. We will transition the commonly-used term "cross-platform". Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will drive the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". The users factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. We believe we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also orchestrate compellingly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "R&D". The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the capacity to incentivize perfectly. The back-end, B2C2B niches factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It seems confusing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We will implement the capability of markets to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B action-items and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean?