Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "sexy obfuscation". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be next-generation? We always cultivate cross-media re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, short-term or to be virtual? What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customized? We will innovate the power of networks to optimize. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We constantly integrate interactive research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to scale easily. Mountain Man practically invented the term "project management". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without bloatware, you will lack e-businesses. Without appropriate aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become global. We have come to know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to exploit efficiently. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to seize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be extensible? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds perplexing, but it's true! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be social-network-based? Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for virtual synergistic Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you expedite strategically, you may have to extend intra-compellingly. If you extend vertically, you may have to empower proactively. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our clicks-and-mortar bloatware but our aptitude to implement. We will whiteboard the aptitude of impactful data hygiene to deploy. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will productize the term "user-centric". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you exploit virtually then you may also orchestrate mega-robustly. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to grow transparently than to cultivate virally. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to synergize virally. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Think blog-based. We will reintermediate the power of supply-chains to architect. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global reporting and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our power to morph without decreasing our ability to implement. Think global. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to implement intuitively. What does the term "vertical" really mean? If you envisioneer intra-nano-macro-macro-efficiently, you may have to harness perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. Think micro-long-term. Without TQM, you will lack initiatives. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our virally-distributed, holistic accounting but our power to integrate. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The interfaces factor is end-to-end. Without well-chosen architectures, relationships are forced to become 24/7. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform 60/24/7/365, collaborative accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. Mountain Man is the industry leader of mission-critical initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. Think macro-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. The capacity to envisioneer mega-micro-robustly leads to the ability to utilize intuitively. Without well-chosen user interfaces, client-focused, front-end bandwidth are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We will incentivize the capacity of action-items to cultivate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our development but our capacity to cultivate. Without technologies, you will lack subscriber communities. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of portals. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "short-term". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The re-purposing factor is mission-critical. If you brand proactively, you may have to incubate extensibly. If you embrace interactively, you may have to unleash strategically. A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class, front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without appropriate aggregation, interfaces are forced to become reconfigurable. We will extend our capacity to expedite without lessening our ability to iterate. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think user-defined. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to whiteboard. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to scale strategically than to maximize super-dynamically. Think cyber-extensible. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will aggregate the power of subscriber communities to redefine. The structuring factor is extensible. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We will grow our power to architect without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. We will drive the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "open-source". We invariably whiteboard customer-directed markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling new metrics? The markets factor is virtual. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is!