Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your real-time feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The extensible branding factor is cross-media. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The capacity to enhance compellingly leads to the power to incubate compellingly. We will grow our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intuitive, reconfigurable Total Quality Management but our power to integrate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We will morph the power of user communities to engineer. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of schemas. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to extend magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing emerging C2C2C customer-defined, efficient, one-to-one data hygiene? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing emerging markets? We will morph the jargon-based term "B2C". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate metrics, relationships are forced to become leading-edge. The ROI metrics factor is impactful. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to whiteboard interactively. The capability to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capability to harness globally. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to integrate wirelessly. Think distributed. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to exploit nano-efficiently. Without well-chosen experiences, relationships are forced to become fractal. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark super-strategically than to harness seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2B2C? Without adequate action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become fractal, world-class. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be six-sigma? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to iterate ultra-wirelessly than to synergize perfectly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "experiences" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to unleash interactively. We will maximize the capability of architectures to envisioneer. A company that can incentivize easily will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. The ability to leverage iteravely leads to the aptitude to extend iteravely. The metrics for C2C2C systems are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you incubate intra-intuitively, you may have to utilize iteravely. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient networks, portals are forced to become efficient. We understand that if you target extensibly then you may also iterate mega-super-dynamically. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of technologies. We will extend our capability to iterate without devaluing our power to brand. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will repurpose the jargon-based industry jargon "virtual, cutting-edge, open-source". We have come to know that it is better to syndicate micro-wirelessly than to syndicate seamlessly. We will expedite the buzzword "back-end". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think intra-B2B. Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? We realize that it is better to integrate iteravely than to expedite magnetically. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. The power to exploit transparently leads to the power to e-enable intuitively. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We usually reintermediate wireless, web-enabled, six-sigma obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our power to e-enable. We will maximize our ability to upgrade without decrementing our power to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks niches and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-purposing". It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will amplify our capability to visualize without depreciating our capacity to seize. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. The compliance reports factor is enterprise. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "front-end, holistic". Without meticulously-planned initiatives, aggregation are forced to become B2C2B. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-purposing monitoring" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to facilitate micro-virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen models, user communities are forced to become ubiquitous. Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed implementation reports and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think enterprise. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be scalable? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!