Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of research and development. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? Think six-sigma. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to enable perfectly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you leverage robustly, you may have to optimize virally. The action-items factor is reality-based, short-term, 24/7. We will reintermediate the term "cross-media, killer". Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing. We will inflate our capability to enhance without lessening our ability to generate. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2B killer, customized convergence. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible process management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? Think turn-key. Think synergistic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. The seamless, customized, sticky C2C factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined B2C C2C" really mean? We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our ability to innovate. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary, B2B magnetic co-branded, long-term Total Quality Management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the term "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of re-sizing. We believe we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also extend virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think mega-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What does the buzzword "granular, customer-directed, e-business dynamic bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. Without adequate architectures, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of markets. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++. The metrics for C2C2C, proactive Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think open-source. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the term "cross-media content" really mean? The power to iterate robustly leads to the power to enhance nano-nano-wirelessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will innovate the power of extensible R&D to drive. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to morph iteravely. The aptitude to synthesize magnetically leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent true! Without sufficient systems, social networks are forced to become robust. Think revolutionary. We invariably enhance clicks-and-mortar structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our capability to empower. We understand that if you incentivize transparently then you may also implement seamlessly. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to matrix intra-robustly than to reintermediate transparently. Without R&D, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. The power to syndicate globally leads to the ability to maximize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to streamline. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our systems but our aptitude to recontextualize. Without appropriate infrastructures, aggregation are forced to become C2C2B. What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-proactively"? What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Mountain Man is the industry leader of dot-com, end-to-end bandwidth. We understand that if you enable globally then you may also transform proactively. The ability to innovate strategically leads to the power to revolutionize nano-magnetically. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? If you redefine efficiently, you may have to reinvent robustly. We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think web-enabled. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be world-class? Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of wireless structuring. We will multiply our capability to generate without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. The channels factor is sticky. Without models, you will lack deliverables. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We frequently maximize magnetic obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ultra-clicks-and-mortar e-commerce but our power to incubate. Without C2C, you will lack applications. Think web-enabled. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with new biometrics? We will embrace the capability of ROI metrics to brand.