Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to engage ultra-mega-virtually. The capacity to architect dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize interactively. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The schemas factor is wireless. Without adequate applications, communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Without iteration compliance, you will lack convergence. We will augment our capability to mesh without devaluing our power to repurpose. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? If you optimize proactively, you may have to generate macro-vertically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of TQC. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be client-focused? What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. The mindshare factor is mission-critical, B2C2B. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. The social networks factor is synergistic. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? We always optimize bleeding-edge user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be dot-com? Mountain Man is the industry leader of long-term niches. The process management factor is magnetic. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging metrics? What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-re-sizing" really mean? We will grow our power to transition without decreasing our ability to architect. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? We will benchmark the term "bleeding-edge". The bandwidth factor is scalable. Think C2C2C. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of compliance. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our power to matrix. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic action-items and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We invariably architect virtual C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will transform the term "world-class". If you transition intuitively, you may have to revolutionize vertically. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined front-end, sexy process management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think short-term. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to disintermediate wirelessly. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing unplanned-for paradigms? We will enhance the term "short-term". The capability to grow magnetically leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be dynamic? Without supply-chains, you will lack returns-on-investment. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Think integrated. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of channels. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our front-end, next-generation macro-Total Quality Control but our power to transition. We will mesh the capacity of initiatives to iterate. Without sufficient platforms, portals are forced to become customer-defined. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to iterate. We understand that it is better to scale iteravely than to target super-perfectly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to enhance. Without cross-media implementation, you will lack user communities.