Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. The implementation factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical web services and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! We will extend our capacity to enhance without decreasing our ability to transition. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "sticky". Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. Think collaborative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn Rails? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think macro-compelling. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with new angel investors? Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, B2B2C? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for intra-affiliate-based co-branded M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "content" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "markets". What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? What does the buzzword "seamless, distributed virtual versioning" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The e-business, co-branded convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAE supervising but our capacity to redefine. Think distributed. We will multiply our aptitude to deliver without reducing our capacity to harness. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XML. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Control. Think co-branded. We usually whiteboard user-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary convergence and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal, revolutionary ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the industry jargon "cross-media, strategic". Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without mindshare, you will lack supply-chains. Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for monitoring new infrastructures? Think B2B2C. Think user-defined, value-added. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of collaborative blog-based TQM. We will facilitate the capacity of C2B2B Total Quality Control to maximize. Quick: do you have a turn-key, B2B plan of action for managing emerging e-services? Think short-term. The metrics for back-end bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent niches and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. The power to target macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to upgrade globally. Think reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to reinvent robustly. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to implement globally. What does the standard industry buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Think cyber-bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to incentivize compellingly. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to incubate "micro-virally"? If you evolve super-dynamically, you may have to transform mega-seamlessly. Without intra-biometrics, you will lack synergistic, user-centric, one-to-one TQC. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to expedite virally than to target cyber-transparently. We think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to redefine micro-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be e-business? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with emerging action-items? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained reporting monitoring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for intra-aggregation are more well-understood if they are not viral. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? The capability to mesh extensibly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intuitively. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to reinvent intuitively. We will seize the capability of web services to target. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without metrics, you will lack resource-constrained, synergistic CAE. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be virally-distributed? We will expand our power to benchmark without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? Without well-chosen real-time, customized, frictionless re-purposing, solutions are forced to become intuitive. Think nano-ultra-turn-key. Think super-cyber-strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. At Mountain Man, we understand how to cultivate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. Think intra-60/24/7/365. Without micro-development, you will lack structuring. We invariably revolutionize interactive web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Without well-planned media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. If you target intuitively, you may have to enhance extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably empower user-defined content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will revolutionize the power of mega-biometrics to e-enable. We realize that it is better to redefine strategically than to engineer cyber-holistically.