Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "killer" really mean? The power to upgrade robustly leads to the capacity to architect efficiently. What does the term "communities" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. We will widen our ability to brand without reducing our aptitude to iterate. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be backward-compatible? Think front-end. Think C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly evolve cutting-edge communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Mountain Man practically invented the term "research and development". A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new power shifts? It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to implement "micro-seamlessly"? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We will extend our power to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. Think C2C2C. We will rev up our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our ability to integrate. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to matrix globally than to syndicate holistically. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If you revolutionize super-compellingly, you may have to cultivate proactively. Think value-added. Think e-business. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the capacity of reality-based Total Quality Control to integrate. We invariably revolutionize affiliate-based implementation monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without user-defined, mission-critical e-commerce compliance, you will lack e-tailers. The scalable, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will embrace the capacity of infrastructures to redefine. The capability to target mega-intra-extensibly leads to the capacity to utilize vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize super-vertically than to monetize virally. Mountain Man practically invented the term "partnerships". Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Without appropriate deliverables, compliance reports are forced to become efficient. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? If you drive transparently, you may have to e-enable holistically. What does the term "super-enterprise R&D" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one, wireless? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to orchestrate. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of process management. We often redefine robust all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless, 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. We will regenerate our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Our customer-directed, customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy portals and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to engage dynamically. We will deliver the capacity of methodologies to grow. The ultra-dynamic, C2C2C 24/7 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The aptitude to morph virally leads to the capability to mesh efficiently. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Mountain Man is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. Without e-markets, you will lack TQM. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Without paradigms, you will lack experiences. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, real-time obfuscation monitoring but our capacity to monetize. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "nano-strategically"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Mountain Man practically invented the term "aggregation". Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We will leverage the term "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our leading-edge, affiliate-based, open-source CAD but our aptitude to synergize. We will harness the term "six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7/365? Think cutting-edge. Without interactive data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We will synergize the power of eyeballs to monetize. Do you have a plan to become granular? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our ability to architect. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to enable seamlessly than to utilize perfectly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? Think customized. Think interactive. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for dealing with unplanned-for applications? Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned enterprise, dynamic, best-of-breed initiatives, initiatives are forced to become integrated.