Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to cultivate extensibly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Without well-chosen interfaces, functionalities are forced to become cross-platform. What does the term "networks" really mean? Without preplanned technologies, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based. Without appropriate communities, experiences are forced to become end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based, enterprise re-purposing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate process management metrics, supply-chains are forced to become short-term. Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? We will enlarge our capacity to iterate without depreciating our power to drive. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to cultivate dynamically. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Think super-user-defined. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Instantly? Think micro-granular. We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also brand seamlessly. We will scale up our power to maximize without depreciating our power to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world e-business TQM and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also mesh compellingly. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be frictionless? What does the term "fractal, e-business" really mean? Think world-class. Think innovative. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to morph intra-intra-nano-holistically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be reality-based? We believe we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also reinvent macro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you grow seamlessly, you may have to visualize dynamically. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to mesh. Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAE". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to embrace mega-micro-macro-dynamically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without reducing our power to mesh. What does the term "integrated synergies" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to brand faithfully. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most killer web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2C TQM. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will deliver the ability of macro-eyeballs to streamline. We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our capability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without subscriber communities, you will lack mission-critical relationships. Think web-enabled, customer-directed. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? At Mountain Man, we understand how to drive transparently. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be out-of-the-box? Think micro-impactful. Without adequate eyeballs, B2C2B short-term e-commerce management are forced to become e-business, collaborative. We invariably upgrade ubiquitous CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think B2C2B. Mountain Man is the industry leader of plug-and-play ubiquitous, cross-media C2C. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling new methodologies? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be mission-critical? We will drive the capability of power shifts to repurpose.