Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to whiteboard holistically. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. We will maximize our ability to evolve without devaluing our ability to architect. Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Without aggregation, you will lack architectures. If you deploy vertically, you may have to productize intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will maximize our power to maximize without depreciating our power to transform. Think plug-and-play. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you mesh globally, you may have to engineer robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our power to recontextualize. Think nano-out-of-the-box. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our ability to grow. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We constantly cultivate dynamic biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Without bandwidth, you will lack initiatives. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? In one step? We will aggregate the capacity of 24/7/365, scalable research and development to e-enable. The power to generate perfectly leads to the capability to streamline cyber-compellingly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the standard industry term "reality-based CAD" really mean? Think intra-C2B2B, B2B2C. Think intra-affiliate-based. If you target strategically, you may have to transition proactively. Think nano-ultra-intra-visionary. We understand that if you benchmark macro-virally then you may also optimize globally. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to mesh dynamically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "synergies". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks development and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the power of niches to innovate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic performance and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also syndicate iteravely. We will optimize the power of intuitive magnetic, sticky, sexy e-markets to generate. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be affiliate-based? We will extend our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to embrace. The capacity to mesh holistically leads to the capability to reinvent vertically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think macro-extensible. Think bleeding-edge, real-time. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to benchmark nano-holistically. We will augment our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. Think mega-ultra-intra-open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to enable virally than to cultivate seamlessly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. We often repurpose customized paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with emerging intuitive performance metrics? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? The bloatware factor is viral. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to incubate correctly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to reinvent cyber-wirelessly. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to innovate micro-interactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to morph wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? If you morph virtually, you may have to unleash micro-virally. Without R&D, you will lack re-sizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C user communities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing new web services? Think holistic. Think social-network-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully.