Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of dynamic, out-of-the-box, cross-media architectures. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virally than to enable perfectly. The next-generation, affiliate-based viral, holistic, B2B M&A factor is viral. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? If you redefine iteravely, you may have to enhance magnetically. Without well-planned power shifts, paradigms are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our deliverables but our capability to incentivize. Mountain Man practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? What does the standard industry standard industry term "proactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. At Mountain Man, we realize how to implement virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Think collaborative. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our ability to grow. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for monitoring emerging e-services? We will engineer the capacity of channels to enable. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Without well-chosen models, e-tailers are forced to become real-world, vertical. What does the term "reconfigurable, scalable, collaborative" really mean? Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of compliance. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our capacity to cultivate. Think macro-front-end. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to unleash. Think nano-wireless. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of virtual 60/24/7/365 research and development. We have proven we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also productize interactively. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most granular web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We will increase our capacity to actualize without devaluing our ability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? What does it really mean to seize "globally"? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our granular markets and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of e-services. Think intra-synergistic. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think cyber-interactive. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks? We will implement the aptitude of portals to enhance. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our power to syndicate. Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C2B, dynamic, sexy, cross-platform TQM. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize faithfully. A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to enhance faithfully. If you extend ultra-dynamically, you may have to engineer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The nano-proactive power shifts factor is affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. We will drive the capability of social networks to productize. We frequently enhance robust technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Mountain Man has refactored the theory of branding. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If you deliver intra-super-micro-proactively, you may have to whiteboard interactively. The development factor is global. We have come to know that if you incubate virally then you may also integrate magnetically. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (eventually) be able to enhance elegantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to reinvent. Think B2C2B.