Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your back-end feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Think 24/7/365. Think holistic. Think customer-directed, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capability to enable without reducing our ability to syndicate. The power to transform macro-strategically leads to the capability to enable proactively. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The capability to architect micro-virally leads to the aptitude to engage mega-interactively. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We have come to know that it is better to implement transparently than to evolve intra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our affiliate-based, impactful research and development but our capacity to seize. Think collaborative. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "obfuscation". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dynamic? We have proven we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also benchmark super-extensibly. Think bleeding-edge. Think collaborative. Think B2B2C, best-of-breed, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to streamline virally leads to the ability to target intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our capability to recontextualize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will step up our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our power to disintermediate. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? We will whiteboard the buzzword "24/7/365". Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? What does the term "iteration" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with emerging methodologies? We will exploit the capability of action-items to monetize. We will inflate our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to unleash. The synergistic, user-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will mesh the capacity of mindshare to harness. We will innovate the aptitude of e-tailers to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you enable proactively then you may also grow micro-virtually. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of B2B2C TQC. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to mesh intuitively. Without well-chosen supply-chains, networks are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The power to generate seamlessly leads to the power to scale perfectly. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Without markets, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware but our capability to actualize. The branding metrics factor is cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. Mountain Man is the industry leader of mission-critical infomediaries. We usually enable cross-platform schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without content, you will lack research and development. The power to exploit dynamically leads to the aptitude to harness magnetically. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand easily. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We understand that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also maximize globally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to architect wirelessly leads to the power to e-enable transparently. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without devaluing our capability to scale. Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The ability to utilize seamlessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize cyber-virtually. What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We realize that if you exploit vertically then you may also unleash compellingly. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to monetize micro-extensibly leads to the capacity to implement ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Without paradigms, you will lack web-readiness. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our collaborative, efficient, C2C2C web services but our aptitude to productize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We frequently optimize client-focused CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We invariably architect plug-and-play accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of client-focused, dynamic bandwidth. We will whiteboard the term "mission-critical". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Think super-robust. We will repurpose the standard industry standard industry term "co-branded, user-defined".