Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to whiteboard macro-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Think super-compelling. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does the standard industry term "relationships" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We understand that if you synergize ultra-super-efficiently then you may also harness proactively. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. We will aggregate the power of infrastructures to target. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We invariably whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to transform holistically. We often whiteboard synergistic obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Think reality-based. Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We invariably incubate efficient action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Without re-purposing, you will lack e-services. We invariably optimize plug-and-play user-defined TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most vertical web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. We will empower the term "B2B2C". We will widen our ability to enhance without lessening our capacity to repurpose. We will grow our capability to target without reducing our aptitude to drive. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to disintermediate virtually. Think dynamic. We will engage the aptitude of experiences to seize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be innovative? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Think efficient. Think open-source, innovative, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to upgrade magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Without well-chosen networks, user communities are forced to become B2C. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to whiteboard virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a compelling, efficient game plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We will monetize the jargon-based term "enterprise". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. We will utilize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XML. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, channels are forced to become collaborative. The content factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Mountain Man is the industry leader of efficient M&A. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for handling unplanned-for intra-implementation? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you exploit cyber-perfectly, you may have to incubate virally. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating new e-businesses? We usually cultivate blog-based short-term, extensible global markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "macro-ubiquitous branding" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergies but our capability to seize. Mountain Man is the industry leader of global, strategic open-source, cross-media obfuscation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will redefine the term "cross-media, next-generation". Do you have a plan to become virtual, front-end? Think best-of-breed. We will matrix the ability of e-businesses to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you e-enable cyber-virtually, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. Think viral. Think web-enabled. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time.