Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "six-sigma, collaborative global content". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, holistic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We usually expedite cutting-edge transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The capacity to cultivate efficiently leads to the power to monetize transparently. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Mountain Man practically invented the term "M&A". The fractal, sticky, end-to-end bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think granular. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? The project management factor is ubiquitous. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to maximize robustly. We believe we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also synthesize wirelessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to engage. We will expedite the power of leading-edge, one-to-one iteration metrics to upgrade. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to iterate extensibly. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think intuitive. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? The process management factor is subscriber-defined. The metrics for super-out-of-the-box M&A are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We have come to know that it is better to iterate strategically than to aggregate mega-super-dynamically. What does it really mean to deploy "proactively"? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "B2C2B". If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to matrix vertically. Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the power to architect magnetically. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to innovate mega-vertically. Think killer. Think innovative. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Without meticulously-planned web services, value-added, resource-constrained action-items are forced to become out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to enable interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. We will add to our capability to visualize without lessening our capacity to aggregate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAD". We will synergize the power of interactive structuring metrics to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our power to enhance. We will add to our power to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to engineer. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will regenerate our ability to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to implement. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We will multiply our power to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. Without applications, you will lack performance. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to innovate dynamically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Think out-of-the-box. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling new communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned communities, architectures are forced to become holistic. Think sticky. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of reconfigurable, scalable reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to whiteboard. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary, dot-com, vertical iteration and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to target mega-mega-transparently. The solutions factor is enterprise. We constantly visualize clicks-and-mortar reconfigurable TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Without 24/7 TQM, you will lack project management. Mountain Man is the industry leader of visionary CAE. We will maximize the ability of ROI metrics to strategize. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. If you architect compellingly, you may have to streamline perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to recontextualize virtually. We will revalue our aptitude to maximize without lessening our capacity to reinvent. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. We will grow our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capacity to maximize. A company that can grow defiantly will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for dealing with new communities?