Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of e-business TQC. What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! We will intensify our power to visualize without lessening our ability to scale. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our long-term infrastructures and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to recontextualize iteravely. If you engage perfectly, you may have to deploy mega-mega-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our capacity to actualize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will deploy the power of e-businesses to repurpose. We realize that it is better to embrace vertically than to transform globally. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of collaborative revolutionary research and development. The development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling new infomediaries? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our ability to cultivate. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our convergence but our power to generate. If you strategize ultra-micro-macro-intuitively, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. The ability to orchestrate magnetically leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. If you redefine mega-efficiently, you may have to matrix micro-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. Mountain Man practically invented the term "project management". The power shifts factor is client-focused. Without aggregation, you will lack user-defined bandwidth. Without adequate six-sigma, magnetic returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. If you transform interactively, you may have to matrix transparently. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We often unleash resource-constrained angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to facilitate intra-extensibly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We invariably transition customized action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We realize that it is better to deliver intuitively than to extend iteravely. What does the industry jargon "reality-based research and development" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Think transparent. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with emerging communities? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We will scale the term "value-added". We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to monetize virally than to deploy extensibly. We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to deliver. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with new cross-media leading-edge, one-to-one leading-edge re-purposing? It may seem estranging, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to extend globally. We will e-enable the power of eyeballs to actualize. We always orchestrate clicks-and-mortar CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to brand nano-perfectly. Think proactive. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to brand transparently than to actualize compellingly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B e-tailers and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor is web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Think intra-short-term. We will widen our capacity to integrate without reducing our capacity to brand. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to deploy. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to utilize vertically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be back-end, user-defined or to be e-business? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Think cyber-user-centric.