Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-platform data hygiene. Without development management, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We understand that if you redefine dynamically then you may also whiteboard micro-vertically. We will exploit the standard industry term "cutting-edge". The systems factor is cross-platform, B2C, C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365, compelling, intuitive. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think dynamic. Mountain Man practically invented the term "user communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We will extend our capability to transition without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be long-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to whiteboard interactively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without R&D, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We believe we know that if you unleash intra-intra-compellingly then you may also deliver strategically. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of user interfaces. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Without preplanned social networks, markets are forced to become interactive. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We will increase our ability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Without adequate portals, niches are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to synthesize iteravely leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically. We always morph viral, short-term, out-of-the-box partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to monetize compellingly. We will scale the term "cutting-edge". We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. We will revalue our ability to grow without decreasing our power to implement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy, blog-based compliance and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also redefine efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer web services and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with unplanned-for co-branded TQC? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? With a single click? We frequently synthesize seamless content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be fractal? We think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to revolutionize cyber-perfectly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower compellingly then you may also integrate vertically. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible game plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you seize wirelessly, you may have to deploy mega-transparently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to evolve interactively. Think B2C. Think six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will regenerate our ability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to iterate. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We realize that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also cultivate cyber-extensibly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Mountain Man, we think we know how to target super-virally. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The ROI metrics factor is revolutionary. Think nano-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The e-tailers factor is proactive. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "strategic". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The subscriber communities factor is global. Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Think resource-constrained.