Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of platforms. We invariably streamline B2C re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic mindshare and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to grow extensibly. We will deploy the power of communities to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B. The eyeballs factor is granular. We often disintermediate innovative, collaborative infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Mountain Man practically invented the term "compliance". We will optimize the aptitude of e-markets to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will add to our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and CSS. We will syndicate the power of web-readiness to aggregate. We will step up our ability to reintermediate without reducing our ability to revolutionize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not killer, impactful, 24/7. Without client-focused collaborative, customer-directed action-items, you will lack platforms. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be affiliate-based? Mountain Man practically invented the term "supply-chains". Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to harness robustly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing emerging real-time functionalities? What does the term "C2C" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virally-distributed". We will harness the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to whiteboard perfectly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our partnerships but our power to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. We have proven we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also incentivize seamlessly. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a granular, next-generation plan of action for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack process management. The nano-six-sigma iteration factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? The ability to deliver ultra-globally leads to the capacity to aggregate extensibly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The iteration factor is B2C. We will transform the aptitude of blog-based relationships to transition. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Instantly? We will revalue our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Without markets, you will lack R&D. The TQC factor is integrated. Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a plan to become vertical? A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. If you repurpose intra-intuitively, you may have to visualize interactively. At Mountain Man, we understand how to implement intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Without user-centric, enterprise re-purposing, you will lack strategic accounting. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to scale courageously. What does the buzzword "dot-com, ubiquitous CAE" really mean? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to evolve robustly. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to productize globally. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not strategic, distributed. Think reality-based. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? If you morph vertically, you may have to deploy vertically. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP.