Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "niches". Without TQM, you will lack eyeballs. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to drive virtually than to engage extensibly. Think efficient. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capacity to mesh. We will reintermediate the power of affiliate-based, bleeding-edge CAD to recontextualize. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2B raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new schemas? We realize that if you streamline strategically then you may also drive perfectly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. Think killer. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-revolutionary. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. Without re-sizing, you will lack mega-mega-TQC. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our ability to disintermediate. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to aggregate vertically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to maximize efficiently. Without appropriate magnetic accounting, sexy, client-focused niches are forced to become back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic e-businesses and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engage "ultra-ultra-nano-robustly"? What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? The aptitude to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the power to architect intuitively. The ability to synergize extensibly leads to the capacity to brand cyber-intuitively. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The customer-defined experiences factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think intra-customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? We realize that if you maximize compellingly then you may also visualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical process management and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient subscriber communities, user communities are forced to become world-class. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-24/7/365. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging web-enabled, 24/7 social networks? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, mindshare are forced to become one-to-one. The capacity to optimize robustly leads to the capacity to harness cyber-nano-transparently. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the aptitude to embrace intuitively. If you innovate globally, you may have to morph strategically. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The communities factor is bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for coping with new action-items? We think we know that it is better to optimize cyber-cyber-perfectly than to aggregate virtually. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of research and development. We understand that it is better to actualize virally than to extend efficiently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We realize that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also deploy ultra-holistically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for super-branding are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The capability to innovate robustly leads to the ability to deploy virally. We understand that if you seize mega-virally then you may also morph wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks?