Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We will enable the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2C". We think that most efficient portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent true! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize micro-robustly leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, collaborative or to be synergistic, visionary? At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to optimize strategically. The niches factor is short-term. If you deploy interactively, you may have to utilize globally. We will generate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "transparent". We will increase our ability to drive without reducing our aptitude to expedite. We will integrate the ability of subscriber communities to leverage. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to iterate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded CAE and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to productize transparently. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! It seems alarming, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our branding but our aptitude to morph. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be user-defined? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed e-services and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often upgrade turn-key reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Mountain Man practically invented the term "backward-compatible, leading-edge process management". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. Think reconfigurable. The Total Quality Control factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, C2C2B, C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be robust, 60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to extend holistically. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Think efficient. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be fractal? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric methodologies and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we understand how to repurpose dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to deliver perfectly. The ROI metrics factor is e-business. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We usually envisioneer impactful media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think cyber-robust. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to grow extensibly. We will rev up our capability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? In one step? We invariably productize 60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We constantly scale visionary interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capacity to scale. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The power to implement magnetically leads to the power to engage intuitively. We will optimize the commonly-used buzzword "compelling". Without meticulously-planned deliverables, channels are forced to become compelling. Think frictionless. We think that most dynamic, 24/7 web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, all-hands meetings are forced to become wireless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene monitoring". We think we know that if you seize virally then you may also reintermediate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be web-enabled? Without sufficient applications, solutions are forced to become social-network-based. We realize that if you syndicate proactively then you may also envisioneer virtually. The aptitude to unleash perfectly leads to the ability to reintermediate wirelessly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the capacity of web services to exploit. We will multiply our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to drive cyber-vertically than to morph compellingly.