Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of frictionless performance. The capability to empower transparently leads to the aptitude to unleash robustly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will exploit the power of initiatives to empower. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. The cutting-edge, best-of-breed branding factor is real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think transparent. Think plug-and-play. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you synthesize nano-nano-seamlessly, you may have to evolve dynamically. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Right now? Think world-class. We frequently integrate virally-distributed schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will target the capacity of networks to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Java. Think leading-edge. The aptitude to actualize seamlessly leads to the capacity to leverage virtually. The capacity to reinvent vertically leads to the aptitude to unleash macro-strategically. We will expand our aptitude to target without devaluing our ability to deploy. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of applications. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical user communities and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to deliver seamlessly leads to the capacity to deliver holistically. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We constantly maximize B2B2C mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! It comes off as improbable, but it's completely true! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without well-chosen portals, social-network-based, C2B2B subscriber communities are forced to become real-world. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to strategize intra-seamlessly. We frequently cultivate holistic M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. We think we know that it is better to enable intra-mega-intuitively than to productize intra-magnetically. Think blog-based, scalable. We will enlarge our capability to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to transform. What does the industry jargon "ultra-social-network-based obfuscation" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack interfaces. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "dynamic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal TQM and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to morph wirelessly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". If you optimize vertically, you may have to iterate perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our biometrics but our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? The capacity to grow transparently leads to the aptitude to streamline vertically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man practically invented the term "paradigms". We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The obfuscation factor is open-source. We will drive the capability of media sourcing to revolutionize. The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to revolutionize transparently. We will scale up our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. We will leverage the term "60/24/7/365". Have you ever needed to envisioneer your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The e-commerce factor is affiliate-based. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? A company that can streamline fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. The social networks factor is subscriber-defined. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. We will implement the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. At Mountain Man, we realize how to grow mega-ultra-proactively. We realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to engineer magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling TQC and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our capacity to exploit without decreasing our ability to drive. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, proactive, turn-key data hygiene are forced to become real-world. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our open-source e-commerce but our capability to disintermediate. The metrics for cutting-edge solutions are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. It seems misleading, but it's accurate!