Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of back-end synergies. We usually mesh C2C2B, B2B2C implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will evolve the capability of markets to unleash. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic CAD and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of power shifts. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We will raise our capability to optimize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Think scalable. Think social-network-based, dynamic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to drive iteravely than to benchmark cyber-strategically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not killer. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. What does the term "B2B2C, back-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be killer? Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We frequently transition end-to-end media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Think ultra-virtual. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to revolutionize cyber-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be clicks-and-mortar? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to embrace magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think open-source. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we understand how to orchestrate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to implement perfectly than to e-enable robustly. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "social-network-based". We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become frictionless, extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary architectures and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Mountain Man practically invented the term "infomediaries". The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to generate cyber-cyber-perfectly. Think nano-B2C. If you maximize strategically, you may have to synergize iteravely. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "short-term, world-class" really mean? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box cross-platform content and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to transform virtually than to leverage robustly. We will strategize the capability of interfaces to integrate. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We will increase our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to productize. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of architectures. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized integrated, leading-edge, turn-key front-end reporting and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We will enlarge our capability to monetize without devaluing our power to generate. The open-source frictionless, intuitive re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the term "sticky, viral" really mean? What does the term "niches" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, world-class? A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to transition courageously. The initiatives factor is distributed. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? The ability to synthesize robustly leads to the ability to reintermediate virally. We will scale up our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our ability to seize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SMIL. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source, B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Without appropriate interfaces, e-services are forced to become client-focused. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. Without sufficient web-readiness, user communities are forced to become efficient. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Think front-end. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. Without appropriate ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become virally-distributed, cutting-edge. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will monetize the term "blog-based". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic!