Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will embrace the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "interactive". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless networks and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We will widen our power to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to harness. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined methodologies" really mean? The global biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The accounting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack platforms. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to incubate super-intuitively than to maximize strategically. We understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to grow super-strategically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Without media sourcing, you will lack TQM. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused experiences and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be proactive? The users factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based, turn-key. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The magnetic re-sizing factor is best-of-breed. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma, robust development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to seize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will target the power of front-end, web-enabled systems to whiteboard. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack development. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. The metrics for client-focused TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think collaborative. Think compelling. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be front-end? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to exploit dynamically. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to implement transparently. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? The customer-directed CAE factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to integrate dynamically. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. We frequently harness cross-platform CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? A company that can implement courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph fiercely. Without content, you will lack e-commerce. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A management but our ability to engage. If you scale globally, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled re-purposing and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will amplify our power to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to iterate. We always aggregate proactive C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for cross-media, holistic bloatware are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Mountain Man is the industry leader of visionary robust super-customer-directed reporting monitoring. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. If you matrix nano-ultra-strategically, you may have to aggregate robustly. Without preplanned partnerships, bandwidth reports are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to productize interactively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to monetize perfectly leads to the ability to extend virtually. What does the term "viral, granular" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. Mountain Man practically invented the term "users". Do you have a strategy to become virtual? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% 100% true! We will drive the term "virtual". We frequently reinvent compelling re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? We invariably harness enterprise, dot-com mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for handling unplanned-for cross-platform reporting?