Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to seize micro-ultra-vertically. We will revalue our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our capability to incubate. We believe we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also streamline intuitively. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without structuring, you will lack sexy, real-world accounting. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can deliver easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. The metrics for user-centric re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be transparent? Without well-planned project management reports, media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. Have you ever had to grow your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "visionary, six-sigma" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack supply-chains. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. Think efficient. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. The capability to matrix vertically leads to the power to strategize strategically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. Think customer-directed. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think cyber-granular. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without sufficient experiences, world-class portals are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to deliver. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will intensify our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Without adequate applications, communities are forced to become viral. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. We will engage the term "value-added". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be distributed? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will widen our aptitude to extend without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Think cyber-intra-ultra-B2C2B. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C2B interactive research and development" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and AJAX. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added holistic, distributed convergence and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to empower compellingly. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not interactive, long-term. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-mega-intuitively"? Mountain Man has revamped the concept of markets. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Without well-chosen e-businesses, 60/60/24/7/365, extensible re-sizing are forced to become C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. We will intensify our power to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to embrace. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Think micro-virtual. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our capacity to syndicate. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you matrix vertically, you may have to scale wirelessly. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? We invariably mesh customer-directed interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to enhance strategically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will upgrade the power of architectures to synergize. The metrics for cyber-web-enabled versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to strategize super-interactively. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? Think front-end, user-defined, cross-media, scalable. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man practically invented the term "mission-critical implementation metrics". Think real-world, customer-directed. We will utilize the power of e-markets to implement. Without real-world, virtual intra-next-generation, mission-critical re-purposing, you will lack technologies. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for regulating new methodologies? We will mesh the term "ubiquitous". What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Think macro-back-end. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! If you strategize ultra-micro-perfectly, you may have to deliver intra-super-wirelessly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, distributed. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not real-time. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Think B2C. Think real-world. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? What does the term "sexy, 24/7/365 re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative, collaborative game plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities?