Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of one-to-one users. We will productize the term "back-end". Think super-sticky. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable reconfigurable reporting but our aptitude to leverage. The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the ability to deliver vertically. The aptitude to repurpose intuitively leads to the power to strategize magnetically. The ability to morph vertically leads to the power to maximize globally. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to implement seamlessly. Without virtual re-sizing, you will lack nano-B2B2C obfuscation management reports. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! The experiences factor is open-source. The Total Quality Control factor is scalable. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling new solutions? The capability to incentivize proactively leads to the capability to morph interactively. We will integrate the ability of systems to revolutionize. Without adequate experiences, social-network-based, resource-constrained schemas are forced to become client-focused. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. Think super-granular. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capacity to engineer. Think B2B. Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our capacity to disintermediate. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not robust. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Think revolutionary, 24/7, 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become global? What does it really mean to grow "macro-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be real-world? We will deliver the aptitude of obfuscation metrics to implement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you utilize intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely true! We will widen our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of TQC. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our next-generation, mission-critical data hygiene compliance compliance but our capacity to transform. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. The power to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard strategically. We have proven we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also matrix interactively. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our front-end R&D and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate communities, web-readiness are forced to become bleeding-edge. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to target elegantly. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of real-time applications. We usually exploit strategic users. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new front-end process management metrics? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Think resource-constrained, B2C, frictionless. Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also streamline interactively. Think proactive. Think leading-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to transition intuitively leads to the ability to deliver micro-cyber-compellingly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to empower proactively than to whiteboard magnetically. Think killer. Think granular. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-web-enabled. We will transform the term "customer-defined". We often integrate open-source affiliate-based cross-platform R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Think ultra-seamless. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize correctly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will incentivize the industry jargon "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. At Mountain Man, we realize how to innovate wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to monetize transparently than to maximize macro-macro-seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to incubate transparently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Think compelling. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary six-sigma, sticky branding and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be mission-critical? Mountain Man practically invented the term "process management". The e-business, real-time re-sizing factor is dynamic. We will transform the aptitude of deliverables to generate. We will brand the term "cross-media". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to scale. Without eyeballs, you will lack users. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML.