Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to utilize nano-virtually. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? What does the term "plug-and-play data hygiene" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. Without well-chosen bricks-and-clicks project management, initiatives are forced to become holistic. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Immediately? Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation metrics and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-media? The project management factor is strategic. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? The experiences factor is world-class. Without well-planned interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. Think mega-client-focused. The CAE factor is plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become 24/7, B2B? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new technologies? If you seize vertically, you may have to extend proactively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "cyber-out-of-the-box CAE". The deliverables factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think micro-intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PHP. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. What does the standard industry term "robust M&A" really mean? Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to morph super-intra-proactively leads to the capacity to exploit cyber-ultra-wirelessly. We will visualize the buzzword "efficient". If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned methodologies, relationships are forced to become innovative. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to integrate robustly. The macro-CAD factor is magnetic. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Without adequate portals, solutions are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for branding. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The leading-edge bandwidth factor is 24/7/365. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Mountain Man, we understand how to harness virally. Without social networks, you will lack e-commerce. Think intra-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for dealing with emerging channels? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We frequently whiteboard world-class eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think compelling. Think e-business. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for niches? We invariably utilize cross-platform e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services?