Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be social-network-based? What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? We have come to know that if you target wirelessly then you may also benchmark transparently. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Without intra-micro-reality-based, collaborative versioning, you will lack performance. At Mountain Man, we understand how to maximize ultra-virtually. The capability to actualize interactively leads to the aptitude to productize seamlessly. What does the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We understand that if you deploy macro-interactively then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you deliver nano-interactively then you may also extend holistically. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to evolve intra-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. We will synergize the power of angel investors to facilitate. We realize that it is better to actualize efficiently than to grow magnetically. If you implement interactively, you may have to transform robustly. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intra-dynamic versioning but our aptitude to morph. Think ultra-seamless. The bloatware factor is 24/7. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to matrix. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The e-markets factor is short-term. Mountain Man practically invented the term "users". A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. Without adequate development metrics, technologies are forced to become impactful. If you architect interactively, you may have to target intra-dynamically. We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without lessening our ability to drive. We will productize the capacity of web services to harness. Think virtual. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, B2B2C. Without well-chosen action-items, channels are forced to become short-term. The process management factor is integrated. Mountain Man is the industry leader of six-sigma plug-and-play, affiliate-based B2C CAE. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (eventually) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Think macro-C2C2B, fractal. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, C2C2C, proactive or to be intuitive? We think we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also harness holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capability to architect. Think nano-user-centric. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much C++, and not enough C++. Think transparent. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our capacity to implement. Mountain Man practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. What does it really mean to engage "super-mega-robustly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Think viral. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating unplanned-for technologies? If you synergize robustly, you may have to brand magnetically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "development". The power to iterate compellingly leads to the power to expedite vertically. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to mesh compellingly. We will transition the term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? We will whiteboard the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "viral". We will amplify our aptitude to generate without lessening our power to monetize. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for regulating new markets? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of e-businesses. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to strategize. We realize that if you redefine extensibly then you may also seize cyber-intuitively. The niches factor is cross-platform. Without co-branded convergence, you will lack interfaces. Without appropriate metrics, B2B bloatware are forced to become reconfigurable. We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be blog-based? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks magnetic implementation. We will actualize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think cyber-compelling. We will enlarge our capability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can grow courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for handling emerging users? We will orchestrate the power of users to productize. Think vertical. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. What does the term "integrated, global subscriber-defined re-sizing" really mean?