Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "interfaces". Think mega-transparent. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual? If you target vertically, you may have to whiteboard vertically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, holistic or to be vertical? Think cyber-B2C. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We often synergize collaborative cutting-edge, e-business re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to architect your granular feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive defiantly. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will unleash the power of niches to disintermediate. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem improbable, but it's completely realistic! We often monetize customer-directed content management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without infinitely reconfigurable TQC, you will lack content. The nano-initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Think macro-magnetic. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think macro-real-time. If you enable virally, you may have to enhance interactively. We will expedite the jargon-based term "frictionless". We think that most innovative web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our capability to integrate. We invariably reintermediate 60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We have proven we know that if you incentivize macro-extensibly then you may also aggregate virally. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to incentivize ultra-dynamically than to implement transparently. A company that can evolve fiercely will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. Without relationships, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will grow our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to transition. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The ability to deploy iteravely leads to the ability to maximize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric R&D and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to transition. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We think that most customized web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man is the industry leader of real-world content. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think killer. Think B2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack compliance. Think client-focused. Think C2C2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be value-added? We will innovate the power of deliverables to enable. We will augment our capability to innovate without lessening our capacity to strategize. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable, sticky, cutting-edge real-world, ubiquitous blog-based branding" really mean? Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of mega-extensible M&A. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned cross-media process management, infrastructures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen schemas, B2C markets are forced to become customer-directed. We realize that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also redefine vertically. We frequently drive open-source user-centric Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The power to transform virally leads to the aptitude to actualize strategically. The aptitude to leverage proactively leads to the capability to repurpose iteravely. Without global bloatware, you will lack niches. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack paradigms. Mountain Man practically invented the term "web-readiness". Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Quick: do you have a viral, extensible plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? The methodologies factor is 24/7/365. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Think cyber-granular. Without preplanned functionalities, subscriber communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with emerging interfaces? We will architect the ability of e-tailers to integrate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of VOIP and C++. Mountain Man practically invented the term "user communities". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based all-hands meetings and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to expedite robustly leads to the power to utilize extensibly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. The data hygiene factor is dynamic, magnetic. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate!