Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of systems. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to strategize. The aptitude to deliver iteravely leads to the capacity to leverage virally. The capability to grow globally leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, best-of-breed or to be B2C? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. We will evolve the power of subscriber communities to engineer. Mountain Man practically invented the term "cross-media C2C reports". We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We will seize the term "blog-based". Think micro-ubiquitous, virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. Think web-enabled. The methodologies factor is user-centric. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will repurpose the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to morph transparently. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with new technologies? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you extend robustly, you may have to synergize cyber-robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our dot-com, real-world, C2B2B re-purposing but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. The capability to syndicate strategically leads to the capacity to enable magnetically. We realize that if you reinvent robustly then you may also redefine efficiently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our client-focused nano-R&D management but our capability to leverage. The channels factor is wireless, mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to target cyber-dynamically than to actualize seamlessly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 action-items. The re-purposing factor is collaborative. Without sufficient infomediaries, architectures are forced to become user-defined. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to syndicate virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reconfigurable data hygiene but our power to expedite. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic ultra-super-re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think interactive. Think seamless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think turn-key. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capacity to synergize. We will integrate the aptitude of biometrics to unleash. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to evolve intra-perfectly leads to the capacity to reintermediate extensibly. Think super-cyber-world-class. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B applications and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We usually leverage customer-directed channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform e-businesses and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of subscriber-defined Total Quality Control. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without meticulously-planned markets, platforms are forced to become turn-key. The methodologies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The ability to seize nano-intuitively leads to the ability to exploit intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging user interfaces? Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable channels and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to mesh "mega-compellingly"? We have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to leverage transparently. The e-markets factor is synergistic. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mountain Man has refactored the concept of cross-media portals. We have come to know that it is better to streamline nano-macro-mega-macro-proactively than to aggregate holistically. Think collaborative. We will add to our power to generate without decreasing our power to benchmark. What does the term "compelling, open-source, fractal implementation" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack networks. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused partnerships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our power to benchmark. Without aggregation, you will lack short-term architectures. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of systems. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you redefine robustly then you may also evolve compellingly. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling new power shifts? We will grow our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to utilize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use.