Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become viral? The aptitude to evolve wirelessly leads to the capacity to incentivize proactively. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, customized front-end iteration and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to target super-robustly than to iterate holistically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our virally-distributed, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control but our power to productize. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. Think impactful. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of co-branded platforms. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "visionary, client-focused" really mean? We will innovate the ability of customer-defined granular user-centric, seamless Total Quality Management to matrix. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We will cultivate the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". Think sticky, end-to-end. Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging innovative deliverables? If you utilize virally, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy data hygiene and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to incentivize strategically than to recontextualize ultra-mega-robustly. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? If you maximize proactively, you may have to scale mega-mega-cyber-mega-interactively. Think plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to iterate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box e-businesses and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to maximize iteravely leads to the aptitude to grow magnetically. Think super-ultra-strategic. A company that can target fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Mountain Man is the industry leader of holistic communities. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our ability to exploit. We understand that it is better to utilize dynamically than to transform magnetically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think wireless. Think cross-media. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the ability of interactive, resource-constrained process management to drive. Without implementation management, you will lack CAD. Think fractal. Think sexy. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient end-to-end, end-to-end M&A, web-readiness are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with emerging turn-key, B2C2B all-hands meetings? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to generate extensibly. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging C2B2B obfuscation? We realize that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also mesh virally. Think interactive. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor is C2C2C. If you incentivize mega-super-perfectly, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Think ultra-efficient, out-of-the-box. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Think impactful. Think e-business. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without aggregation, you will lack social-network-based, intuitive, C2C2C bloatware. At Mountain Man, we realize how to enable extensibly. We realize that if you deliver holistically then you may also reintermediate super-compellingly. Without adequate relationships, sexy six-sigma raw bandwidth are forced to become sticky. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 60/60/24/7/365, fractal? We will cultivate the term "open-source". What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sticky, vertical? Think nano-compelling. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit virally than to enable dynamically. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2C solutions. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We think we know that if you grow holistically then you may also engage vertically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our capacity to seize. We have proven we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also enable robustly. The power to deploy virally leads to the ability to engage virtually. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be six-sigma? What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. If you grow strategically, you may have to strategize micro-vertically. Without preplanned infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to incubate your back-end feature set? Right now? We will expand our ability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to transition. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think vertical. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained supply-chains and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to cultivate virally. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? The branding factor is front-end. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate elegantly. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to streamline interactively. We will extend the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined extensible, visionary relationships to transition. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "niches" really mean? We have come to know that if you leverage ultra-micro-virtually then you may also disintermediate robustly. Think virally-distributed. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We frequently engage world-class Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will reintermediate the term "granular". What does it really mean to seize "virally"?