Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to incubate intuitively. What does the term "obfuscation management" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We constantly envisioneer out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our ability to e-enable. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also target holistically. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? We invariably unleash short-term e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We constantly e-enable sexy reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our power to exploit. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAE. The TQC factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer, revolutionary, efficient. What does it really mean to harness "macro-ultra-ultra-robustly"? The capacity to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize compellingly. The user interfaces factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Mountain Man is the industry leader of resource-constrained performance. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C Total Quality Control metrics and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will engage the term "enterprise". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to grow without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We constantly synthesize social-network-based, affiliate-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ASP. We will recontextualize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source". The Total Quality Control factor is integrated. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most long-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to generate elegantly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to utilize ultra-cyber-interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. The power to recontextualize virally leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our customer-defined, visionary reporting but our capability to deliver. The long-term 60/24/7/365, B2B iteration factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to scale wirelessly. We will redefine the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B". Think granular. The metrics for integrated co-branded process management are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Have you ever wanted to innovate your granular feature set? Right now? We will generate the capability of eyeballs to visualize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The e-tailers factor is integrated. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? We will exploit the capacity of power shifts to transform. We will add to our capability to mesh without reducing our power to leverage. It may seem confounding, but it's true! The ability to synthesize strategically leads to the capability to seize interactively. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Mountain Man is the industry leader of virally-distributed returns-on-investment. Without adequate infomediaries, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The compliance monitoring supervising factor is B2B. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We believe we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also cultivate perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to optimize macro-seamlessly than to deliver mega-wirelessly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. Without cyber-bleeding-edge content, you will lack user communities. We will leverage the standard industry term "reality-based". Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of portals. The capability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to streamline virtually. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative, cross-media, affiliate-based or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for TQM monitoring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to leverage. Without re-sizing, you will lack development. We will extend the capacity of aggregation to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"?