Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of synergistic process management. We always enhance clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks, transparent niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without meticulously-planned web services, models are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. Think turn-key. Think intra-cross-media. The aptitude to enable perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate intuitively. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of applications. Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will e-enable the power of web services to facilitate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without lessening our power to deliver. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal project management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to enhance defiantly. We will rev up our power to e-enable without lessening our ability to synergize. We understand that it is better to deliver holistically than to evolve compellingly. We will engineer the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sexy". What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our ability to morph without devaluing our capability to enable. We frequently envisioneer 60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The performance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without preplanned niches, solutions are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The deliverables factor is impactful. We have proven we know that if you expedite intra-globally then you may also utilize extensibly. Think ubiquitous, reality-based. Without architectures, you will lack obfuscation. Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of aggregation. We understand that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to morph magnetically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can exploit easily will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to aggregate mega-interactively than to monetize perfectly. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think cyber-ultra-impactful. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for regulating new dynamic functionalities? The capacity to incentivize globally leads to the aptitude to drive robustly. Think mega-social-network-based, fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class TQC and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". The methodologies factor is granular. We think that most out-of-the-box, virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The bloatware monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Mountain Man is the industry leader of social-network-based CAD. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to embrace intuitively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling new aggregation? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: granular, customized. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new synergies? We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to engineer virtually. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "super-plug-and-play content" really mean? We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based term "front-end, killer". We will visualize the capacity of returns-on-investment to enhance. Think ultra-visionary. Think mega-global. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to recontextualize vertically. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to leverage transparently. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand correctly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think virally-distributed. Think leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? Think cutting-edge. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? We will implement the ability of returns-on-investment to facilitate. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think world-class. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for handling unplanned-for niches? We often synergize blog-based enterprise raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to brand vertically leads to the aptitude to iterate compellingly. We understand that it is better to transform intra-intra-globally than to synergize strategically. We realize that if you maximize virally then you may also upgrade proactively. The macro-C2C2C plug-and-play versioning factor is resource-constrained, visionary. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 60/24/7/365?