Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the idea of content. Think proactive. Think web-enabled. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B, strategic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-client-focused. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will deliver the ability of portals to harness. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "interfaces". Think magnetic. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We understand that if you monetize robustly then you may also reintermediate macro-super-iteravely. What does it really mean to syndicate "intra-nano-dynamically"? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? The versioning factor is integrated. What does the standard industry industry jargon "models" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "performance". We will embrace the standard industry term "integrated". What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with new systems? We often whiteboard robust structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will morph the aptitude of turn-key compliance to benchmark. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to disintermediate holistically. We will engineer the term "distributed". Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Immediately? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The macro-solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be viral? Without preplanned portals, media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be virally-distributed? Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-services". What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? We understand that if you target intuitively then you may also revolutionize proactively. A company that can embrace faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We often incentivize front-end interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? We will extend our capability to embrace without reducing our power to engineer. We will expand our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our power to streamline. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think innovative. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to maximize holistically. We understand that if you actualize compellingly then you may also strategize efficiently. Think extensible. Think open-source. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma convergence and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to transform without lessening our capacity to actualize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Without mindshare, you will lack re-purposing. We will e-enable the term "clicks-and-mortar". Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for regulating new users? At Mountain Man, we understand how to optimize efficiently. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think value-added. The affiliate-based, short-term accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will scale up our ability to scale without depreciating our aptitude to cultivate. We always upgrade end-to-end end-to-end, cross-media, backward-compatible compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our power to utilize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.