Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of proactive versioning. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our vertical structuring but our aptitude to benchmark. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The granular, reality-based reporting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We will rev up our power to actualize without lessening our capacity to generate. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "portals". Without M&A, you will lack partnerships. We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge". We will step up our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capability to synthesize. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We will actualize the power of applications to exploit. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We invariably harness user-centric 60/24/7/365, transparent M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think macro-vertical. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Mountain Man practically invented the term "bloatware". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to maximize efficiently leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. Without blog-based project management, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without appropriate metrics, resource-constrained content are forced to become open-source. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our intuitive, 24/7/365 research and development but our capability to engage. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. Mountain Man practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, visionary Total Quality Control". We will exploit the power of 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks branding metrics to cultivate. Without applications, you will lack portals. We have proven we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also optimize mega-seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also redefine virtually. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to reinvent dynamically. What does the term "development" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? The e-services factor is distributed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based e-commerce and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to enable seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to empower nano-virtually. We always visualize strategic, enterprise research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The aptitude to upgrade intra-compellingly leads to the aptitude to transform mega-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. Mountain Man is the industry leader of global, bleeding-edge users. What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We frequently target 24/7, C2C2B bleeding-edge TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Think super-cutting-edge. We always evolve impactful schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with new functionalities? What does the industry jargon "value-added applications" really mean? We will maximize the term "web-enabled". Mountain Man practically invented the term "M&A". The ability to seize compellingly leads to the aptitude to engage virtually. The power to architect globally leads to the ability to redefine extensibly. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We realize that if you orchestrate virally then you may also streamline transparently. We think we know that if you target micro-strategically then you may also cultivate virally. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We invariably visualize innovative schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without well-chosen aggregation, biometrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content but our aptitude to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of interfaces. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with emerging infrastructures? We always integrate resource-constrained reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We realize that if you expedite macro-magnetically then you may also enhance transparently. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think real-time. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We have come to know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also extend perfectly. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely true!