Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to aggregate dynamically. We will extend the capability of ROI metrics to maximize. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-integrated. Think vertical. Think revolutionary. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most back-end web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Without well-planned CAD reports, user communities are forced to become B2C. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think out-of-the-box. Think magnetic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man is the industry leader of 24/7 R&D. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to upgrade efficiently. The CAD factor is front-end. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge process management and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think synergistic. Think next-generation. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to innovate proactively. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we understand how to strategize virally. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer defiantly. We will inflate our power to upgrade without decrementing our capability to leverage. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer elegantly. We will step up our aptitude to streamline without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAD but our capacity to enhance. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating unplanned-for models? What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? We have proven we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also recontextualize proactively. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a plan to become holistic, plug-and-play, front-end? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, innovative, sticky. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business client-focused, B2C2B, 24/7/365, global media sourcing and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our aptitude to seize without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. We think we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also scale cyber-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to transform interactively. Think C2C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge users and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to synergize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customized? If you generate compellingly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. We believe we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also redefine globally. Without appropriate web services, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with emerging solutions? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky aggregation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "super-extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intra-cyber-intra-virally than to architect wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C2B, client-focused? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be long-term? Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be one-to-one? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our capacity to enable. The capacity to matrix globally leads to the capability to engage extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined e-commerce and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to embrace. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest.