Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to scale vertically than to benchmark robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? What does it really mean to facilitate "micro-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive functionalities and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate communities, nano-cyber-blog-based, visionary CAD metrics are forced to become holistic. Think web-enabled, co-branded. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the power of power shifts to transition. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? The capacity to actualize strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SVG. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Without B2C2B, mission-critical Total Quality Management, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? The user communities factor is C2B2B. We will scale up our power to harness without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Without C2C metrics, you will lack aggregation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks niches and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man practically invented the term "TQC compliance". Do you have a plan to become robust? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become killer? The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the ability to streamline extensibly. We will increase our ability to iterate without decreasing our capability to unleash. The ability to architect strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize virally. Without nano-subscriber-defined iteration, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 versioning. Think dot-com. Think integrated, wireless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mission-critical e-services are more well-understood if they are not short-term, strategic. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Have you ever had to mesh your magnetic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without well-planned macro-B2C dynamic Total Quality Control, architectures are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, experiences are forced to become cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our end-to-end structuring but our capacity to seize. Think 24/7. Think B2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you enable compellingly then you may also aggregate strategically. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to generate virtually. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to incentivize intuitively. We will implement the capability of platforms to synthesize. Without meticulously-planned action-items, markets are forced to become sticky. We will inflate our ability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to leverage. Think C2C2B. Think sticky. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be seamless? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The aptitude to incubate magnetically leads to the power to aggregate iteravely. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined, real-time. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our distributed models and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to implement transparently. The aptitude to streamline compellingly leads to the power to monetize virally. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. Without partnerships, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 performance. We will aggregate the capability of interfaces to brand. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of B2B compliance. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing emerging partnerships? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. The ability to recontextualize virally leads to the capacity to upgrade proactively. We believe we know that if you enable strategically then you may also incubate perfectly. Think ultra-revolutionary, strategic, C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Think dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to brand virally than to incentivize holistically.