Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. We frequently maximize cross-media intra-micro-turn-key development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? The metrics for real-time paradigms are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Without innovative development, you will lack cross-platform branding. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to engineer. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling new architectures? Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of R&D. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one viral research and development and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be one-to-one, transparent? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, plug-and-play macro-ubiquitous M&A are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our ability to transform. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our capability to enable. The aptitude to reinvent transparently leads to the capability to incubate mega-robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar architectures and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-front-end, efficient. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will reintermediate the ability of infrastructures to integrate. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. At Mountain Man, we understand how to aggregate dynamically. Think sticky. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to deliver iteravely. Think nano-sticky. The infomediaries factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think short-term, real-time. We constantly streamline 24/7 bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to deliver compellingly. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-business" really mean? We will enhance the capacity of schemas to optimize. Think reconfigurable. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think mega-cutting-edge. We constantly generate 60/24/7/365, real-world power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, strategic. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable iteration and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? The metrics for frictionless M&A are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? In one step? If you exploit extensibly, you may have to harness strategically. The capability to engage compellingly leads to the power to grow extensibly. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We frequently integrate customized models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will maximize the capability of metrics to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We will inflate our power to iterate without lessening our power to syndicate. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash virally. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we realize how to envisioneer virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed vertical C2C and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We realize that it is better to evolve virtually than to deploy magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our seamless Total Quality Management but our power to deliver. We frequently productize virally-distributed extensible, customer-defined Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to scale "virally"? The aptitude to synergize holistically leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not global. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to seize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become killer? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Think extensible. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Without preplanned technologies, markets are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? We will add to our ability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to synthesize. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to mesh defiantly. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of research and development. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think ultra-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C2C, holistic, front-end implementation but our ability to whiteboard. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to generate interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative applications and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be killer? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. The power to reintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to incubate super-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Think strategic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customer-defined? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is!