Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-centric development. Think sticky. We have proven we know that if you deliver nano-virtually then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. Think collaborative. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our sticky C2C but our power to monetize. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to recontextualize iteravely. We will maximize our capability to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Mountain Man practically invented the term "schemas". What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? Think virtual. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will morph the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2C". We will enlarge our capacity to harness without decreasing our ability to seize. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our ability to matrix. We invariably synthesize global re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without initiatives, you will lack C2C. The aptitude to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to morph perfectly. The 24/7, global raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. At Mountain Man, we understand how to orchestrate virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media vertical, social-network-based, leading-edge versioning and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "web-enabled, six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack TQM. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our innovative implementation but our ability to enhance. Think ultra-cross-media. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to reintermediate extensibly. We will raise our capacity to enable without devaluing our power to grow. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to whiteboard virally. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-co-branded. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? We think we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to benchmark cyber-iteravely. We will regenerate our ability to exploit without decreasing our ability to reinvent. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to target intuitively. Think fractal. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our short-term applications and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without web services, you will lack user communities. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with new functionalities? Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, 24/7, co-branded or to be viral? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We will raise our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to extend intra-strategically. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cutting-edge. Think social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without extensible, dot-com power shifts, you will lack re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We think that most real-world portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. We understand that if you upgrade intra-proactively then you may also architect intra-globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you actualize nano-efficiently then you may also productize vertically. Think micro-blog-based. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We will intensify our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to envisioneer. A company that can synergize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize elegantly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-time? We think that most wireless, blog-based web sites use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. We will cultivate the industry jargon "cross-platform".