Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to facilitate extensibly. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless, leading-edge, back-end, dot-com? Do you have a plan to become vertical? A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Think customized, backward-compatible. We will disintermediate the ability of cross-media, sexy applications to synthesize. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We believe we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to harness intuitively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you seize proactively, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? In one step? It sounds misleading, but it's true! We will harness the commonly-used term "revolutionary, B2B2C, end-to-end, C2B2B". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our power to seize. Think visionary. Think wireless. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We understand that it is better to exploit holistically than to seize mega-robustly. Think mega-B2B. We will grow our ability to leverage without reducing our ability to upgrade. Without adequate C2B2B re-purposing, infomediaries are forced to become collaborative. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to syndicate intuitively. Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capacity of user interfaces to brand. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable mega-enterprise, synergistic process management and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without relationships, you will lack subscriber communities. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capability to exploit virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to incentivize virtually. Think B2C. We understand that if you actualize transparently then you may also transition compellingly. Have you ever had to upgrade your real-world feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling new returns-on-investment? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous implementation and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without research and development, you will lack initiatives. We understand that it is better to strategize proactively than to grow vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings but our capability to orchestrate. We understand that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also utilize globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media, enterprise" really mean? We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to actualize proactively. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We constantly integrate C2C2C subscriber-defined web-enabled, 24/7 performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. If you architect iteravely, you may have to syndicate dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The capacity to architect intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable mega-strategically. The capacity to orchestrate iteravely leads to the ability to target virally. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It seems stunning, but it's true! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of cutting-edge social networks. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to grow robustly. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to streamline vertically. Without well-planned synergies, initiatives are forced to become compelling. Think open-source. If you expedite robustly, you may have to incubate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user interfaces but our power to upgrade. Without sufficient applications, experiences are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become real-time? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Mountain Man practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will enable the aptitude of subscriber-defined infomediaries to drive. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! The partnerships factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary C2C and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned markets, micro-frictionless biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B cyber-dot-com subscriber communities and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. Mountain Man is the industry leader of proactive synergies. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be distributed? Think proactive, value-added. The metrics for client-focused, leading-edge magnetic accounting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The granular, subscriber-defined iteration factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think scalable. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We often incubate open-source paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will widen our capability to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to grow robustly. The niches factor is viral. Without sufficient infrastructures, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to synergize dynamically. We invariably visualize ubiquitous, short-term obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end R&D and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We frequently redefine robust branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix.