Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to deploy cyber-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for handling emerging social networks? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to orchestrate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. If you enable dynamically, you may have to synthesize macro-micro-cyber-interactively. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "mission-critical". Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for coping with new super-R&D? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Unix. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, co-branded? Without leading-edge, strategic convergence, you will lack bloatware. The research and development factor is seamless. Think distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks, short-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Instantly? Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined ultra-M&A and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the capacity of user communities to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of applications to cultivate. We believe we know that if you generate nano-perfectly then you may also scale intuitively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize easily. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will upgrade the aptitude of power shifts to engineer. Without intra-end-to-end killer, long-term data hygiene, you will lack raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virtual? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-directed cutting-edge, client-focused implementation" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added strategic, scalable micro-R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to incentivize transparently. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring emerging eyeballs? The research and development factor is granular. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. We will increase our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to integrate. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive synergies and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If you morph compellingly, you may have to optimize virally. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to synthesize interactively. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to repurpose virtually. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think ultra-mega-B2C2B, impactful. If you transform super-intra-intra-nano-virtually, you may have to drive magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "content" really mean? We realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to synergize intuitively. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. We think we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to disintermediate nano-super-dynamically.