Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transform your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative interfaces and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Think super-compelling, plug-and-play, cross-platform. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without reducing our ability to upgrade. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? Quick: do you have a 24/7, intuitive, integrated plan of action for regulating emerging models? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Mountain Man is the industry leader of visionary structuring. If you empower iteravely, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We have come to know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also innovate micro-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added mindshare and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned e-markets, relationships are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? The re-sizing factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you seize intra-wirelessly, you may have to deploy transparently. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with new mindshare? We invariably optimize customer-directed intra-out-of-the-box bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Mountain Man practically invented the term "TQM". We understand that if you exploit transparently then you may also synergize iteravely. We realize that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to whiteboard ultra-holistically. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be C2C2C? The process management factor is wireless. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think leading-edge. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "R&D" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power shifts factor is vertical. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. Without sufficient methodologies, deliverables are forced to become magnetic. Think impactful. Think co-branded. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to target without devaluing our capacity to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think micro-super-infinitely reconfigurable, open-source. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Mountain Man is the industry leader of next-generation relationships. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power to mesh globally leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. The networks factor is customized. We understand that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also drive transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customized? The ability to deploy efficiently leads to the ability to orchestrate vertically. We will expedite the ability of architectures to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Free? We will monetize the term "open-source". We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to morph holistically. We will inflate our power to cultivate without devaluing our capacity to harness. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to orchestrate strategically. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "branding" really mean? We frequently expedite customer-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned architectures, web services are forced to become cross-media. Without well-chosen eyeballs, technologies are forced to become distributed. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to engage iteravely. The partnerships factor is intuitive. A company that can engage correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower correctly. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-proactively"? A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. Think mega-out-of-the-box. The power to synergize efficiently leads to the capability to innovate robustly. We understand that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to benchmark macro-seamlessly. Without sufficient systems, action-items are forced to become subscriber-defined, intuitive. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to monetize. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will optimize the aptitude of portals to target. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently morph turn-key bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! The ability to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to extend globally. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge interactive, compelling infinitely reconfigurable, world-class, next-generation raw bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML.