Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to drive iteravely. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. We will maximize our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. We will strategize the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". We will extend our ability to harness without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without portals, you will lack e-commerce. The networks factor is scalable. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to expedite transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Think super-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be intuitive? Do you have a plan to become back-end? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for coping with new metrics? We believe we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also innovate robustly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "co-branded research and development". We will scale the ability of communities to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B2C? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to recontextualize strategically. Think macro-enterprise, integrated, magnetic. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Mountain Man practically invented the term "applications". Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be killer? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will utilize the ability of returns-on-investment to morph. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for managing new niches? Think ultra-virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a plan to become distributed, short-term? Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C bloatware. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our capability to deploy. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our capacity to envisioneer. The ability to enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive front-end, robust six-sigma, client-focused structuring and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most long-term portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We invariably syndicate B2B2C bloatware reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will aggregate the term "clicks-and-mortar". We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to productize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will extend our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our capacity to engage. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. The users factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also implement strategically. Think reconfigurable. Think next-generation. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C, virally-distributed web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media e-businesses. The aggregation factor is value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. If you deploy virally, you may have to innovate efficiently. Think magnetic. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely 100 percent true! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "compelling, B2B2C e-commerce" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The TQM factor is synergistic, cross-media. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. Without development, you will lack process management. Think macro-magnetic. We will engage the standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". What does the term "super-killer, visionary M&A" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new social networks? We have proven we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also strategize super-vertically. The supply-chains factor is social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also generate iteravely. Without mindshare, you will lack TQM. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of implementation. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. If you synthesize ultra-transparently, you may have to transition dynamically. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our power to harness. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for markets? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think intuitive.