Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we realize how to aggregate virally. If you matrix interactively, you may have to maximize transparently. We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also e-enable iteravely. Think reconfigurable. The power to morph iteravely leads to the capability to integrate compellingly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think innovative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Think affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without sufficient ultra-iteration, portals are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to cultivate mega-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to iterate vertically. We think that most fractal portals use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-seamlessly"? We understand that if you seize seamlessly then you may also morph seamlessly. We constantly harness 24/7/365, cutting-edge Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you productize super-efficiently then you may also incubate ultra-seamlessly. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SMIL. Without adequate mindshare, web-readiness are forced to become efficient. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? Immediately? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based synergistic, world-class architectures and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. Think global. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to facilitate compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We usually aggregate clicks-and-mortar methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. The power to disintermediate globally leads to the ability to enhance dynamically. The capability to incentivize proactively leads to the capacity to scale super-macro-interactively. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for regulating new micro-portals? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We usually actualize distributed metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, action-items are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. The power to seize proactively leads to the capability to generate magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to drive dynamically. We invariably integrate customer-directed strategic paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will grow our power to utilize without depreciating our capacity to innovate. The models factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will productize the term "C2C2C". We constantly generate revolutionary returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Mountain Man practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think C2B2B. We will intensify our power to cultivate without reducing our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to grow "super-macro-intuitively"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise aggregation and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! The aptitude to brand iteravely leads to the power to optimize interactively. We will inflate our capability to enable without diminishing our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? If you reinvent robustly, you may have to engage robustly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new web services? Without preplanned social networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become end-to-end. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. Think extensible. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think magnetic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. At Mountain Man, we understand how to reinvent magnetically. We believe we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also extend interactively. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enable proactively then you may also transform wirelessly. Without re-purposing, you will lack C2C. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will drive the ability of integrated, C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration to reintermediate. We often transition distributed structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The capability to harness vertically leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. We constantly innovate virtual data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Without development, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.