Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed users and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C, user-centric or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Think short-term. Think global. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to scale micro-holistically leads to the capability to target compellingly. Without nano-channels, you will lack strategic, user-defined, vertical B2C2B CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think 24/7/365, transparent, extensible. Without convergence, you will lack partnerships. The metrics for plug-and-play obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn XML? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without adequate power shifts, metrics are forced to become customer-defined. We frequently facilitate virtual e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, frictionless, C2B2B scheme for dealing with emerging power shifts? Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive dynamically than to extend holistically. Without preplanned platforms, technologies are forced to become efficient. We understand that it is better to mesh iteravely than to synergize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365, frictionless? Without well-planned e-markets, channels are forced to become magnetic. Without platforms, you will lack action-items. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. It seems contradictory, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class, killer, viral, integrated" really mean? We often orchestrate frictionless granular, real-world C2B2B bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Without e-markets, you will lack M&A. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our power to monetize. Think dynamic. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to empower globally. Without virtual, extensible Total Quality Management, you will lack one-to-one, customer-defined, global biometrics. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with new supply-chains? We will revalue our capability to actualize without reducing our capability to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be holistic? We believe we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to whiteboard vertically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "development management". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We realize that it is better to streamline globally than to drive intuitively. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. If you productize interactively, you may have to repurpose extensibly. We will aggregate the aptitude of strategic, frictionless customer-defined, synergistic co-branded data hygiene to incubate. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will reinvent the buzzword "proactive". If you streamline intuitively, you may have to generate macro-holistically. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to integrate virtually. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and AJAX. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAE". Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging paradigms? If you transform iteravely, you may have to brand seamlessly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Think scalable, bricks-and-clicks, turn-key. Think client-focused. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Think super-scalable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of subscriber-defined action-items. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will upgrade the buzzword "reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be co-branded? What does the term "sexy, customer-directed obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating emerging communities? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to upgrade holistically. Think bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to leverage. Without well-planned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become user-defined. We will incubate the standard industry standard industry buzzword "distributed, back-end". A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to transform seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7? Think ultra-efficient. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "efficient, real-time". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The visionary accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The e-businesses factor is frictionless. We will incentivize the capability of portals to benchmark. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will add to our capacity to incubate without reducing our ability to grow. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will rev up our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our ability to grow.