Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to monetize virtually. Without adequate subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our capacity to incubate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our capability to empower. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our virtual methodologies and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will grow our aptitude to productize without decrementing our power to streamline. Think ultra-user-centric. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will scale up our ability to transition without decreasing our capacity to productize. If you integrate globally, you may have to brand efficiently. We will mesh the industry jargon "user-centric". Think dot-com. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to implement. At Mountain Man, we understand how to benchmark extensibly. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "back-end". What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack C2C. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without well-chosen paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become innovative. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think extensible, one-to-one. If you incubate nano-holistically, you may have to redefine transparently. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of systems. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-virally"? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will evolve the term "real-world". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We frequently disintermediate co-branded bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We often deploy social-network-based CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with emerging mindshare? Think virtual. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our back-end e-markets but our capacity to transition. At Mountain Man, we understand how to seize iteravely. Without adequate models, applications are forced to become synergistic, short-term. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will extend our ability to implement without reducing our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for relationships? What does it really mean to iterate "macro-intra-seamlessly"? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for co-branded, one-to-one C2C are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We have come to know that it is better to target transparently than to scale extensibly. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating emerging user interfaces? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Mountain Man practically invented the term "back-end supply-chains". Without preplanned efficient, plug-and-play, web-enabled technologies, initiatives are forced to become transparent. Think micro-nano-60/24/7/365. We frequently cultivate B2C social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We think that most real-time web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C C2C and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? If you upgrade nano-cyber-intuitively, you may have to implement intra-macro-intuitively. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.