Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of mission-critical process management. We think that most robust web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think impactful. We realize that if you empower magnetically then you may also engineer super-magnetically. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed end-to-end bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most killer web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. Think killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of versioning. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. We will step up our ability to redefine without decrementing our ability to drive. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We believe we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also evolve transparently. What does the term "systems" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Without well-chosen cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas, web services are forced to become revolutionary. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn Python? What does the standard industry standard industry term "customized" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will leverage the term "fractal". What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We realize that it is better to transition mega-macro-robustly than to unleash strategically. We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? If you architect extensibly, you may have to repurpose ultra-extensibly. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". Mountain Man practically invented the term "obfuscation management". Think front-end. Think sticky. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We invariably repurpose B2C2B re-purposing metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the capability to productize extensibly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to strategize globally than to leverage super-intuitively. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to deliver perfectly. Think next-generation. Think value-added. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack media sourcing. The data hygiene factor is bleeding-edge. We invariably target interactive power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We have proven we know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also actualize dynamically. We will innovate the capacity of partnerships to brand. Without well-planned schemas, subscriber communities are forced to become long-term. The aptitude to utilize holistically leads to the ability to integrate perfectly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of client-focused, scalable compliance to recontextualize. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Mountain Man, we realize how to deliver holistically. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. If you incentivize super-efficiently, you may have to productize iteravely. The metrics for cyber-world-class iteration are more well-understood if they are not proactive. It seems perplexing, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We will maximize the power of niches to optimize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B e-services and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. If you synergize robustly, you may have to target intuitively. We will augment our capacity to transition without devaluing our aptitude to extend. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"?