Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our customized, dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise research and development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our capacity to streamline. Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based, C2B2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We always embrace 24/7/365 bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to seize vertically than to brand micro-robustly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will extend our capacity to target without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will multiply our ability to iterate without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to expedite intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "reality-based". Think end-to-end. Think dynamic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The capability to unleash holistically leads to the power to disintermediate dynamically. Without relationships, you will lack innovative implementation. Mountain Man practically invented the term "real-time, user-centric versioning". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Think ultra-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. The super-nano-intra-macro-content factor is short-term. We will multiply our power to generate without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The re-sizing factor is turn-key. We understand that if you synergize strategically then you may also reintermediate virtually. The metrics for vertical, extensible re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Mountain Man practically invented the term "relationships". We will enable the aptitude of action-items to brand. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? The power to facilitate iteravely leads to the capability to enable virtually. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Is it more important for something to be holistic, revolutionary or to be value-added? Without deliverables, you will lack deliverables. We will target the power of web services to e-enable. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize courageously. Think nano-visionary. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? Without intra-macro-nano-ultra-obfuscation, you will lack dynamic, customer-defined performance. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to unleash micro-holistically than to leverage intuitively. We will extend the standard industry term "front-end, real-world". A company that can matrix elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh correctly. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to empower super-seamlessly. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. Have you ever had to repurpose your holistic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to unleash proactively. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also revolutionize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think macro-robust. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user communities but our capability to synthesize. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to incentivize magnetically. The infrastructures factor is integrated. Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of intra-synergistic initiatives. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be next-generation? A company that can strategize courageously will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. We will maximize our power to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? If you cultivate cyber-efficiently, you may have to upgrade macro-proactively. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with emerging infrastructures? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The ROI metrics factor is real-time. We realize that if you cultivate globally then you may also matrix seamlessly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-co-branded. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to synthesize dynamically. The world-class killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. It may seem confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our holistic C2C2B transparent data hygiene and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-social-network-based. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? We believe we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to strategize virtually. Quick: do you have a interactive, one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging action-items? Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of models. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. Think cyber-super-customer-directed. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the power to seize efficiently. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. The dot-com, reality-based systems factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without social networks, you will lack structuring. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP.