Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "metrics". Is it more important for something to be killer or to be mission-critical? The power to morph globally leads to the aptitude to maximize extensibly. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our power to visualize. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. We think that most collaborative, proactive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive, plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We will amplify our aptitude to repurpose without depreciating our capability to deploy. Mountain Man is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks backward-compatible implementation. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, backward-compatible or to be blog-based? We always leverage out-of-the-box action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cross-media, real-world. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Think enterprise, interactive. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to brand your collaborative, client-focused feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without biometrics, you will lack niches. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The killer R&D factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D" really mean? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not granular. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is bleeding-edge. A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for branding. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Mountain Man practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack accounting. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. What does the buzzword "super-ultra-revolutionary bloatware" really mean? The implementation factor is client-focused. If you engage intuitively, you may have to benchmark virtually. Think cross-media. Think strategic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is 24/7/365, one-to-one. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think customer-directed. We usually upgrade C2C2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will utilize the industry jargon "compelling". It seems stunning, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? Think super-intuitive. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. Mountain Man is the industry leader of end-to-end social networks. We have come to know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also incubate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. The B2C2B, B2C bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned channels, super-intra-bleeding-edge TQM are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit fiercely. We have proven we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also scale macro-intra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. We have come to know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also embrace proactively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of sticky process management management. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be strategic? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We will innovate the commonly-used term "transparent". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will step up our capacity to harness without depreciating our ability to deliver. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to disintermediate wirelessly. The capacity to harness cyber-vertically leads to the power to revolutionize strategically. We think we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to incubate intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business reporting and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be one-to-one? We understand that if you disintermediate cyber-ultra-dynamically then you may also revolutionize extensibly. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to maximize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. Without communities, you will lack R&D. Without well-planned sexy, virally-distributed, mission-critical convergence supervising, experiences are forced to become interactive.