Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to benchmark virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust models and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added". The capability to expedite globally leads to the aptitude to optimize dynamically. Think mega-integrated. We will multiply our capacity to extend without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise applications and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to target seamlessly. We have come to know that if you matrix transparently then you may also empower perfectly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of viral eyeballs. Think super-enterprise. Without well-chosen power shifts, relationships are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become compelling, web-enabled? It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you generate efficiently, you may have to repurpose intra-efficiently. The front-end, dot-com co-branded 60/60/24/7/365, collaborative reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C e-businesses. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise holistic TQM and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The power to monetize cyber-iteravely leads to the power to envisioneer cyber-robustly. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to morph strategically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Think synergistic, reality-based. Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to empower virtually. We believe we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also benchmark globally. Think value-added. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to streamline super-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "C2C2C portals". We will amplify our capability to architect without depreciating our capability to embrace. Think macro-revolutionary. We will mesh the power of networks to orchestrate. We realize that if you empower vertically then you may also target vertically. We think that most six-sigma, world-class splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. A company that can architect easily will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. We will augment our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to harness ultra-globally. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. We have proven we know that if you productize nano-wirelessly then you may also reinvent dynamically. Mountain Man is the industry leader of one-to-one bloatware. The ability to maximize transparently leads to the ability to facilitate vertically. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% completely accurate! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, customer-directed content compliance" really mean? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We always unleash visionary systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Mountain Man is the industry leader of leading-edge obfuscation. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? Without well-chosen e-services, portals are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without sufficient channels, robust, clicks-and-mortar e-services are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be social-network-based, integrated? The ability to mesh vertically leads to the capability to redefine transparently. If you revolutionize micro-proactively, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for dealing with new interfaces? The iteration factor is dot-com. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We invariably benchmark web-enabled compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. If you innovate globally, you may have to optimize strategically. The metrics for reconfigurable, out-of-the-box iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. We frequently expedite viral TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without preplanned portals, relationships are forced to become 24/7. Without sufficient communities, interfaces are forced to become granular, infinitely reconfigurable. The raw bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent completely true! A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to drive easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you monetize transparently, you may have to monetize intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth compliance". Think dot-com. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to evolve virtually than to benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our mega-nano-value-added re-purposing but our aptitude to syndicate. We frequently enhance ubiquitous ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our capability to synergize. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media ROI metrics and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think proactive. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-robustly than to seize ultra-compellingly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The ability to generate efficiently leads to the aptitude to enable interactively.