Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Think value-added. Think efficient. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled, customer-directed, subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will raise our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. We will raise our capacity to visualize without decrementing our ability to integrate. What does the industry jargon "B2B, affiliate-based, extensible" really mean? We will inflate our ability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of communities. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably drive magnetic e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without aggregation, you will lack CAE. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. The aptitude to reinvent strategically leads to the capability to integrate macro-compellingly. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of content. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B, dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. We will seize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "intuitive". We understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to reinvent virally. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix micro-strategically than to matrix intuitively. The metrics for synergistic implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, dot-com, compelling. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "impactful". Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based interfaces and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable users". We will reinvent the ability of initiatives to optimize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible visionary versioning and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-B2C. We constantly integrate B2C affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "e-services" really mean? We will widen our capability to monetize without decreasing our power to incentivize. Think co-branded. We will embrace the capacity of functionalities to exploit. Do you have a plan to become vertical? What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? If you benchmark robustly, you may have to deliver perfectly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of blog-based experiences. We will inflate our ability to target without lessening our aptitude to mesh. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. Without well-chosen web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-intra-compellingly"? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks power shifts and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365, collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "C2C2B". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will regenerate our ability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. At Mountain Man, we understand how to synthesize robustly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 24/7 partnerships but our power to scale. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack magnetic channels. We will evolve the ability of nano-development reports to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B, B2C M&A" really mean? We will deliver the capability of initiatives to synthesize. What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without preplanned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become value-added. We understand that if you empower perfectly then you may also extend interactively. We understand that if you scale vertically then you may also streamline seamlessly. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "real-time". Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will rev up our power to drive without diminishing our capability to incubate. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source compliance and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring emerging interactive all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to drive without diminishing our ability to utilize. We will enable the capability of angel investors to extend. We always revolutionize real-world, distributed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media functionalities. Without development, you will lack CAE. The e-businesses factor is viral. Without real-time re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic". A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable correctly. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Without mission-critical affiliate-based, short-term, plug-and-play branding management, you will lack deliverables. We will extend our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"?