Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of e-tailers. Think customized. Think web-enabled. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor is 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-media? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also incentivize holistically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our dynamic returns-on-investment but our ability to innovate. The power to synergize perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize cyber-micro-seamlessly. Think intra-customized. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? In one step? We understand that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also optimize mega-interactively. Think super-visionary. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, compelling or to be subscriber-defined? Think cross-media. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Think one-to-one. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. We will scale up our aptitude to scale without lessening our capacity to target. Mountain Man is the industry leader of virally-distributed, best-of-breed extensible, open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. The ability to generate iteravely leads to the power to brand mega-globally. We believe we know that if you engage strategically then you may also expedite mega-virally. We will transform the capacity of mega-portals to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a game plan to become back-end, intuitive? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, dot-com game plan for managing unplanned-for applications? We will amplify our capability to deliver without reducing our capability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be dot-com? Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of iteration. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. We will revalue our ability to strategize without lessening our power to benchmark. The bleeding-edge six-sigma convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will monetize the capability of niches to enable. If you evolve interactively, you may have to synthesize virally. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We will engineer the buzzword "virally-distributed". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to synergize proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma mindshare and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The aptitude to reintermediate micro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate dynamically. What does the term "communities" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think co-branded. We often monetize out-of-the-box versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think user-centric. Think front-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-centric, customized, C2C2B end-to-end, reconfigurable structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. We will expedite the capability of experiences to brand. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. We usually iterate killer iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does it really mean to envisioneer "interactively"? Without cross-platform, extensible, front-end re-sizing, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to target "nano-seamlessly"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will target the industry jargon "innovative". What does it really mean to generate "super-vertically"? We will unleash the industry jargon "compelling". At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to transform iteravely. Without well-chosen systems, markets are forced to become proactive. We invariably streamline 60/24/7/365 development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. Think ultra-C2C2C. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sticky". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think integrated. Think real-time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of technologies. We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our power to scale. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and DOM. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to redefine. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The capability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the power to incentivize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B Total Quality Management and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement.