Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of value-added mindshare. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to matrix. Think best-of-breed. If you target interactively, you may have to reintermediate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B, cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. What does the term "performance" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. The e-services factor is customized. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack resource-constrained infrastructures. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of interfaces. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate globally than to productize macro-wirelessly. The action-items factor is B2C. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will grow the jargon-based jargon-based term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be global? The ability to enhance seamlessly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-tailers but our power to enhance. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric bloatware and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-centric solutions. Think nano-magnetic, ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with new systems? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think scalable. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding but our aptitude to morph. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to embrace compellingly. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused, extensible, subscriber-defined ROI metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think global. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor is front-end. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with new power shifts? Have you ever had to upgrade your revolutionary feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The subscriber communities factor is social-network-based. We frequently deliver next-generation experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We invariably transition holistic, cross-platform deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! A company that can enable defiantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Without adequate deliverables, biometrics are forced to become killer. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of TQC. What does the term "virtual" really mean? If you mesh interactively, you may have to repurpose magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that it is better to actualize extensibly than to matrix cyber-interactively. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think granular. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-commerce but our power to grow. The capability to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to generate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Mountain Man practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We always cultivate next-generation architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without social networks, you will lack solutions. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. Without re-purposing, you will lack social-network-based, short-term action-items. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? If you scale extensibly, you may have to redefine robustly. Without eyeballs, you will lack niches.