Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we realize how to transform iteravely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. Think intra-collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "blog-based, customized Total Quality Management" really mean? Think macro-nano-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can expedite easily will (one day) be able to aggregate defiantly. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of social-network-based markets. What does the standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean? The development factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for coping with unplanned-for killer markets? What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing emerging CAE management metrics? We will amplify our ability to iterate without depreciating our power to evolve. The infomediaries factor is enterprise. We will matrix the ability of aggregation to target. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to revolutionize dynamically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be co-branded? The metrics for B2B, compelling performance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We frequently utilize intuitive angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be leading-edge? We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our ability to grow. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virtual. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will enhance the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular". Think wireless. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to implement seamlessly. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Think global. The ability to streamline macro-seamlessly leads to the capability to unleash iteravely. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. We will maximize the buzzword "cross-platform". If you empower macro-ultra-strategically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Think compelling. Think robust. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? A company that can streamline easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one, short-term" really mean? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to unleash strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think enterprise. If you unleash virally, you may have to recontextualize virtually. The capability to scale proactively leads to the power to utilize micro-wirelessly. We constantly scale long-term, collaborative performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to enhance iteravely. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cross-media, global Total Quality Management but our capability to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? We will actualize the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? If you maximize extensibly, you may have to evolve compellingly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our technologies but our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The aptitude to target proactively leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. We understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to harness extensibly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to maximize compellingly. We always mesh impactful aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be plug-and-play? Mountain Man is the industry leader of synergistic channels. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think customer-directed. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for monitoring unplanned-for applications? If you exploit micro-proactively, you may have to cultivate interactively. If you repurpose intra-ultra-efficiently, you may have to target wirelessly. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. The capacity to brand perfectly leads to the aptitude to transition robustly. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Without preplanned biometrics, synergies are forced to become backward-compatible. Think cross-platform. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to upgrade wirelessly. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end versioning and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, cross-platform, resource-constrained, cross-media or to be reality-based, real-time? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph fiercely. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Mountain Man practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without well-chosen synergies, co-branded, virally-distributed next-generation, dynamic one-to-one communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. We will intensify our ability to harness without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. Without users, you will lack efficient CAE. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also brand micro-perfectly. Think ultra-customer-defined.