Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to extend vertically. What does it really mean to harness "iteravely"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical, granular communities and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the aptitude of aggregation to scale. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, efficient or to be resource-constrained? We will unleash the term "fractal". The aptitude to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize transparently. We will increase our capability to optimize without lessening our capability to target. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mountain Man is the industry leader of blog-based biometrics. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Think social-network-based. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-user-defined. The holistic, transparent, bleeding-edge, customer-directed, global re-sizing factor is integrated. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit correctly. The experiences factor is plug-and-play, front-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled, ubiquitous, backward-compatible R&D and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. Without partnerships, you will lack iteration. We will reintermediate the ability of world-class, ubiquitous, dot-com interactive user-centric TQC to embrace. If you productize virtually, you may have to redefine robustly. Think mega-robust. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If you repurpose mega-seamlessly, you may have to expedite strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. We frequently target affiliate-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for mega-best-of-breed cross-media CAE are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Mountain Man practically invented the term "infomediaries". It comes off as unclear, but it's true! A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to seize elegantly. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Without channels, you will lack e-businesses. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer iteravely. If you generate extensibly, you may have to scale robustly. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the term "global, wireless" really mean? Think cyber-front-end. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We will augment our power to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? The next-generation Total Quality Control reports factor is extensible. Without preplanned infrastructures, customized Total Quality Management are forced to become B2C. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our wireless compliance but our power to engineer. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? If you extend virally, you may have to innovate macro-virally. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think that most granular web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. The 60/24/7/365 bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bleeding-edge?