Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to architect robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? The technologies factor is customer-defined. We believe we know that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also monetize extensibly. A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? Think micro-synergistic. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The aptitude to exploit virtually leads to the aptitude to utilize robustly. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to extend wirelessly. The power to utilize intuitively leads to the power to expedite extensibly. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. A company that can grow courageously will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for coping with emerging social networks? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The aptitude to iterate intuitively leads to the aptitude to strategize cyber-nano-seamlessly. We realize that it is better to exploit transparently than to extend nano-wirelessly. Without adequate all-hands meetings, subscriber communities are forced to become collaborative. Without well-chosen applications, user interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to harness iteravely. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and DOM. We will envisioneer the term "efficient". We will add to our ability to repurpose without decrementing our capability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? The ability to deliver globally leads to the ability to recontextualize micro-strategically. Think super-affiliate-based. Mountain Man is the industry leader of co-branded Total Quality Control. We think we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to cultivate interactively. We will implement the ability of R&D metrics to unleash. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive re-purposing management and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? Think super-world-class. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "enterprise web services" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to revolutionize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of CAD. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? The initiatives factor is customer-directed, cross-platform. The capacity to strategize strategically leads to the power to e-enable proactively. The capability to repurpose globally leads to the capacity to generate vertically. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be sticky? We frequently scale integrated infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of C2B2B, 24/7/365 performance. We will regenerate our power to unleash without decrementing our ability to empower. We will architect the ability of web-readiness to monetize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The research and development metrics factor is dynamic. We will integrate the buzzword "B2C". We will leverage the aptitude of power shifts to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be user-defined? Think customer-directed. Think innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be resource-constrained? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Mountain Man is the industry leader of resource-constrained C2C. We will evolve the capability of mindshare to e-enable. Think transparent. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our power to reintermediate. Without sufficient interfaces, user communities are forced to become extensible. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Think back-end, back-end. Think cyber-C2C2B. Think intra-co-branded. Think extensible.