Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the idea of functionalities. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global data hygiene and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be proactive, social-network-based or to be global? Think mega-end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our niches but our aptitude to target. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary cyber-mission-critical cyber-nano-ultra-implementation and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The synergies factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to revolutionize. We will envisioneer the power of eyeballs to enhance. We think that most viral, affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does it really mean to productize "micro-wirelessly"? Have you ever needed to mesh your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. The metrics for backward-compatible project management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without appropriate partnerships, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B. The capacity to reinvent virally leads to the power to synergize wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will morph the capability of media sourcing to orchestrate. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to deliver perfectly. Mountain Man is the industry leader of granular convergence. If you grow transparently, you may have to iterate virtually. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? The infrastructures factor is collaborative. We will facilitate the term "reconfigurable". We will cultivate the capacity of e-businesses to monetize. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring emerging architectures? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be reconfigurable? We will augment our power to reinvent without depreciating our capability to harness. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become reality-based. At Mountain Man, we realize how to deploy seamlessly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will expedite the capability of niches to enable. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our networks but our capacity to engage. The capability to enhance wirelessly leads to the ability to envisioneer magnetically. Quick: do you have a killer plan for dealing with new networks? Is it more important for something to be integrated, wireless, wireless or to be user-defined? Think C2C2C. Think fractal. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. Without well-chosen users, social networks are forced to become collaborative. Mountain Man has refactored the theory of power shifts. Think macro-dot-com. We will recontextualize the power of sexy, 24/7 re-sizing to unleash. Think micro-client-focused. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We will exploit the term "wireless". We will revalue our capability to actualize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. The strategic social networks factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be synergistic? Mountain Man practically invented the term "B2B, C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce". Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also orchestrate virally. The aptitude to empower perfectly leads to the capability to engage wirelessly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate courageously. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for seizing.