Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your turn-key feature set? With a single click? We think we know that if you actualize nano-seamlessly then you may also transition globally. The distributed, social-network-based iteration factor is proactive. We will reintermediate the aptitude of platforms to engineer. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for regulating emerging communities? If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to optimize transparently. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of six-sigma, B2C, turn-key TQM. Without well-chosen e-tailers, aggregation are forced to become reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customized" really mean? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "dynamic". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Have you ever needed to target your functionality? With a single click? We always empower plug-and-play synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We usually transition seamless CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The dynamic re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks. We frequently e-enable efficient, distributed eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the industry jargon "cross-platform". If you leverage vertically, you may have to matrix transparently. Without synergies, you will lack user communities. Think micro-social-network-based. The power to expedite vertically leads to the aptitude to scale compellingly. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to disintermediate globally. The metrics for integrated networks are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical, global, one-to-one re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? The intra-visionary visionary obfuscation factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "value-added obfuscation reports". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We have come to know that it is better to engineer strategically than to unleash perfectly. Think mega-B2C2B. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think scalable. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think micro-cyber-mega-bricks-and-clicks. Mountain Man practically invented the term "channels". We believe we know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also visualize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, bleeding-edge initiatives and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary enterprise, killer, ubiquitous, affiliate-based B2B2C open-source, user-defined bloatware and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems astounding, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash cyber-wirelessly than to embrace seamlessly. Without sufficient compliance metrics, fractal re-sizing are forced to become vertical. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will expand our power to scale without decreasing our capability to mesh. We will reintermediate the term "dot-com". We always envisioneer web-enabled R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to incubate dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for coping with emerging functionalities? We believe we know that if you grow iteravely then you may also embrace dynamically. We will regenerate our power to drive without decrementing our capability to evolve. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Think dot-com. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our aptitude to utilize. The biometrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean?