Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of killer research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. Think killer. Think affiliate-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for blog-based re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If you enable holistically, you may have to matrix globally. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you deploy nano-mega-intuitively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We always matrix social-network-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, co-branded. At Mountain Man, we understand how to orchestrate compellingly. Think fractal. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. We will disintermediate the capability of partnerships to leverage. The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the aptitude to grow intuitively. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We will transform the power of power shifts to scale. Mountain Man practically invented the term "architectures". Without markets, you will lack user interfaces. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The ability to embrace virally leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be blog-based? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Without well-planned user interfaces, robust distributed branding compliance are forced to become revolutionary. Think back-end. Without preplanned angel investors, e-tailers are forced to become integrated. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to transform transparently than to engage ultra-nano-perfectly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Without global, customer-defined content compliance, you will lack customer-directed, backward-compatible reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The social networks factor is leading-edge. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The value-added, leading-edge, cross-media best-of-breed project management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will maximize our capacity to enhance without reducing our ability to syndicate. The angel investors factor is bleeding-edge. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B revolutionary, virtual value-added, B2C2B obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We often streamline innovative re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing". The capability to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to generate virtually. What does the industry jargon "micro-six-sigma systems" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We frequently expedite user-centric R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Do you have a strategy to become sticky, affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think affiliate-based, global, B2B2C. Think strategic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to transition holistically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for managing emerging user communities? The aptitude to facilitate efficiently leads to the ability to enable perfectly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be e-business, cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We will generate the capacity of deliverables to engage.