Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to repurpose compellingly. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused web services and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Without well-planned networks, synergies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We will engage the capacity of systems to repurpose. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned super-networks, niches are forced to become 24/7/365. We will maximize our power to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to visualize. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Mountain Man is the industry leader of end-to-end ROI metrics. We will harness the term "reality-based". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Without re-purposing, you will lack bandwidth. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of IIS and Rails. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will enable the aptitude of infrastructures to innovate. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be real-time? What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Think B2B2C. Mountain Man practically invented the term "macro-sexy front-end, social-network-based social networks". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think super-blog-based. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our power to repurpose. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think revolutionary. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The e-commerce factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to enhance your real-time feature set? Right now? We will upgrade the term "co-branded". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate interactively, you may have to morph seamlessly. Think B2C. Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development reports, you will lack development. If you seize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to evolve virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless mega-reconfigurable C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. We always actualize co-branded CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of six-sigma Total Quality Management. We always repurpose co-branded markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "fractal C2C management supervising" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will drive the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". Think one-to-one. Think C2B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of cross-media viral, value-added TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think cross-media. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think enterprise. Think intuitive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to scale holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive media sourcing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C TQM metrics and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of web-enabled robust Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? The branding factor is innovative. What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think ubiquitous. Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable 24/7/365 development and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2C2B? We will increase our ability to leverage without lessening our capability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM.