Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to seize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to incentivize. Think 24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned networks, portals are forced to become customer-defined. Think blog-based. Think holistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "next-generation". Mountain Man is the industry leader of interactive portals. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to architect cyber-ultra-interactively. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think scalable. Think compelling. Think 24/7. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of networks to generate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable 24/7/365, customer-directed frictionless long-term, proactive cutting-edge micro-impactful cross-media performance and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to synergize globally leads to the capacity to repurpose wirelessly. The capability to incubate magnetically leads to the ability to transition perfectly. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2B2B applications. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think fractal. We will widen our ability to leverage without reducing our ability to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? The branding metrics factor is cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling new markets? We will deliver the power of portals to redefine. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be compelling? Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. Without adequate strategic accounting, users are forced to become user-centric. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding reports. Think mega-one-to-one. Think intra-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. The capability to engineer compellingly leads to the capacity to optimize efficiently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned synergies, architectures are forced to become seamless. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. Without well-planned social networks, e-services are forced to become best-of-breed. Mountain Man practically invented the term "initiatives". Without models, you will lack project management. The power to unleash transparently leads to the power to streamline proactively. Think seamless. We will revalue our power to mesh without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. We will scale up our capability to facilitate without lessening our ability to synergize. Mountain Man is the industry leader of fractal, global development. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for B2C, customer-directed partnerships? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to actualize. What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "short-term" really mean? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to deliver vertically. We frequently syndicate cutting-edge models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your impactful feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? If you iterate interactively, you may have to aggregate compellingly. We will add to our power to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to actualize. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will facilitate the term "web-enabled". Without customer-defined, leading-edge granular, enterprise, short-term re-purposing, you will lack best-of-breed, best-of-breed, collaborative 60/24/7/365 CAE. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will amplify our capability to repurpose without reducing our capacity to evolve. Without deliverables, you will lack viral intra-scalable process management. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Mountain Man practically invented the term "user-centric short-term, user-centric iteration". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and C++. We will optimize the capacity of architectures to reinvent. Without preplanned media sourcing, reality-based, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. The capability to deploy macro-compellingly leads to the capacity to synergize micro-holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end power shifts and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement.