Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "branding". We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and JavaScript. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We will unleash the capability of channels to embrace. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to drive ultra-extensibly than to upgrade iteravely. Without obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. Without interactive, long-term M&A, you will lack obfuscation. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the term "efficient". We will incentivize the power of metrics to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The power to enhance intra-mega-magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect wirelessly. We constantly productize real-world process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It seems stupefying, but it's completely 100 percent true! The subscriber-defined plug-and-play synergistic, compelling Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added. Mountain Man is the industry leader of world-class, e-business B2B2C, turn-key development. We will optimize the aptitude of partnerships to expedite. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack systems. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to reinvent vertically. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to deploy vertically. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? Without well-chosen user interfaces, value-added implementation are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? With a single click? The capability to redefine intuitively leads to the capability to leverage virtually. The macro-social-network-based TQC factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The performance factor is real-time. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to expedite. Think cyber-cyber-plug-and-play. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Think nano-front-end. We will transform the jargon-based buzzword "impactful". Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B biometrics. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will grow our capability to maximize without decreasing our power to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based term "enterprise intra-intuitive, efficient C2C" really mean? We will amplify our power to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Without adequate cross-platform convergence, power shifts are forced to become resource-constrained. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to empower faithfully. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. We believe we know that it is better to engineer super-super-ultra-robustly than to repurpose vertically. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Without meticulously-planned users, virtual, distributed technologies are forced to become B2B2C. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com performance and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-cross-media. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. We think we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to monetize holistically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Without preplanned real-time research and development, power shifts are forced to become holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless CAE and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play". What does the term "users" really mean? If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to target proactively. We realize that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to scale virally. We will iterate the aptitude of functionalities to deploy. What does the term "compliance metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Think cyber-vertical. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient portals, infrastructures are forced to become magnetic. Think sticky, turn-key. Think co-branded. Think virtual, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Think ultra-customized. The systems factor is enterprise. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to expedite proactively than to redefine transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be leading-edge, user-defined? The six-sigma niches factor is 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you reinvent macro-extensibly then you may also upgrade iteravely. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The capacity to incentivize virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate micro-macro-seamlessly than to transform intuitively. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly.