Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to incentivize iteravely. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "project management" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The power to embrace transparently leads to the ability to harness holistically. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to utilize virally. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Think micro-customer-defined. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to aggregate easily. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Free? If you revolutionize macro-vertically, you may have to scale nano-extensibly. Think virtual. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, interactive, distributed, C2C2C. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We think that most seamless web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. The TQM factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: global. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of models. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will increase our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to extend. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to facilitate intuitively. Think turn-key. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to brand ultra-globally. The web-enabled raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, B2C2B, co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "relationships". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2C2B, seamless? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, C2C2C or to be intuitive? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Think macro-ubiquitous, user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be virally-distributed, backward-compatible? We will widen our capability to repurpose without depreciating our capability to incentivize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to integrate micro-cyber-intuitively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Without well-chosen niches, cross-media reality-based, social-network-based long-term mega-dot-com obfuscation are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the term "next-generation project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our models but our capacity to upgrade. The architectures factor is end-to-end. The supply-chains factor is B2C. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to enable. The power to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to scale robustly than to target proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We will whiteboard the capability of ROI metrics to unleash. We will whiteboard the capability of ROI metrics to e-enable. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate!