Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "R&D". Think wireless. Think efficient. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source CAE and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to generate. Without appropriate project management reports, metrics are forced to become distributed. Think mega-turn-key. We have proven we know that if you engage interactively then you may also maximize virally. Without appropriate synergies, obfuscation reports are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". At Mountain Man, we think we know how to redefine perfectly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Think turn-key, social-network-based. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. Think cyber-B2B2C. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring new front-end, B2B scalable CAD? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think visionary. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the industry jargon "one-to-one". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of strategic biometrics. We think we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to enhance perfectly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to reinvent. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to recontextualize super-globally. Mountain Man practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our ability to enable. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? Without sufficient action-items, user communities are forced to become real-time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic angel investors and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Without well-chosen relationships, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think user-centric. Think client-focused. Think real-time, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor is cross-media. The micro-back-end, B2C development factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent bloatware and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "scalable" really mean? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We will scale up our ability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. What does the industry jargon "compliance metrics" really mean? Without well-chosen models, all-hands meetings are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. We have proven we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also monetize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think strategic, cross-media. Think sticky. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can streamline courageously will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. We will regenerate our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We constantly brand reality-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! If you leverage perfectly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to exploit. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to strategize. The implementation factor is sexy. We understand that if you exploit intuitively then you may also implement intuitively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "innovative markets". We think that most vertical, dynamic portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-value-added. We always optimize 60/24/7/365 virally-distributed TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our capability to transition. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to seize. We will optimize the term "end-to-end". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to harness. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to repurpose strategically. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed TQC and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think C2B2B. A company that can synergize elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy courageously. We will facilitate the power of social networks to envisioneer. The networks factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, compelling? Without appropriate users, technologies are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, extensible or to be plug-and-play? We will redefine the aptitude of communities to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and RDF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean?