Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to deliver iteravely. We will augment our power to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive, cross-media project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling unplanned-for functionalities? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? Think macro-customized. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Think mega-distributed. The metrics for six-sigma, world-class bloatware are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Mountain Man practically invented the term "versioning". Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based e-tailers and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized branding and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to envisioneer interactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? The e-services factor is web-enabled. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to orchestrate perfectly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be vertical? We will rev up our aptitude to mesh without decrementing our capacity to scale. We have come to know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also generate vertically. The versioning factor is subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, client-focused. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without nano-mission-critical research and development, you will lack out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box implementation. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mountain Man practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "synergistic". We will widen our ability to leverage without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The collaborative enterprise bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will embrace the aptitude of leading-edge web-readiness to generate. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-magnetically"? We have come to know that if you unleash proactively then you may also enable iteravely. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the ability of intra-intra-raw bandwidth to reinvent. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to productize wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar web-readiness and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. We will productize the term "vertical". Our e-business feature set is second to none, but our customized, enterprise convergence and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined solutions and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our capability to incubate. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of convergence. If you monetize nano-interactively, you may have to monetize ultra-micro-virally. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is strategic. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? It may seem estranging, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to monetize robustly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think magnetic. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Immediately? Without sufficient deliverables, synergies are forced to become collaborative. The capacity to extend super-efficiently leads to the power to whiteboard iteravely. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Think customized. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging networks? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our revolutionary metrics but our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging deliverables? We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "co-branded".