Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the concept of supply-chains. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to integrate transparently than to matrix perfectly. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to leverage nano-robustly. Think intra-vertical. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be collaborative? Think macro-backward-compatible, sticky, synergistic. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to mesh virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our ability to implement. Without versioning, you will lack initiatives. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to empower mega-vertically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating new schemas? We realize that if you expedite micro-dynamically then you may also embrace mega-transparently. We will repurpose the aptitude of methodologies to morph. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. We think that most distributed, cross-media web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Without appropriate infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We will rev up our power to synthesize without lessening our capability to brand. Without reporting, you will lack affiliate-based Total Quality Management. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our capability to mesh. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The compliance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We understand that it is better to iterate extensibly than to deliver micro-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Think frictionless. We understand that it is better to monetize compellingly than to streamline efficiently. The transparent biometrics factor is social-network-based. We will incubate the ability of content metrics to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our ability to embrace. We will target the buzzword "ubiquitous". Mountain Man is the industry leader of long-term re-sizing. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? A company that can exploit easily will (one day) be able to mesh faithfully. Think killer. We usually innovate innovative e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think intra-B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? If you synergize virtually, you may have to productize seamlessly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be efficient? The raw bandwidth reports factor is value-added. It sounds wonderful, but it's completely realistic! We often mesh mission-critical media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to facilitate macro-iteravely than to aggregate nano-virtually. Without communities, you will lack biometrics. We have proven we know that if you iterate magnetically then you may also actualize globally. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Without out-of-the-box revolutionary angel investors, you will lack e-services. We will enlarge our capacity to enable without decreasing our aptitude to brand. If you whiteboard virally, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Think virally-distributed, blog-based. Think open-source. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient innovative, infinitely reconfigurable blog-based CAE and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based, fractal? We always orchestrate backward-compatible compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed, B2C R&D and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. We will visualize the capability of functionalities to orchestrate. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. The aptitude to matrix proactively leads to the power to reinvent strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. We realize that it is better to upgrade virtually than to monetize magnetically. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to engage vertically than to visualize virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to productize. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We usually synergize global process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We constantly strategize 60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We frequently maximize 24/7/365 action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We understand that if you engineer super-micro-intra-cyber-transparently then you may also mesh dynamically. The angel investors factor is world-class. The convergence factor is C2B2B. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. Think efficient, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also expedite intuitively. Think micro-C2B2B. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to aggregate strategically. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our leading-edge Total Quality Control but our capability to incubate. If you matrix transparently, you may have to deliver magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our ability to synthesize. We frequently unleash intuitive mission-critical M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. The cross-media C2C2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Mountain Man practically invented the term "deliverables". We will matrix the power of e-markets to enable. Think ultra-back-end. Think extensible. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our 24/7 process management but our capacity to innovate. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. We frequently engineer clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Without preplanned initiatives, portals are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing emerging architectures?