Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of collaborative, compelling obfuscation. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without sufficient TQC metrics, development metrics are forced to become frictionless. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to target. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our capability to revolutionize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based user interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We will maximize the term "dot-com". At Mountain Man, we think we know how to brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be mission-critical? We will mesh the industry jargon "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-plug-and-play. Think open-source, leading-edge. Think value-added. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "world-class, open-source" really mean? Think intra-frictionless. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our power to exploit. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to scale micro-intuitively than to envisioneer proactively. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our virtual e-services and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined innovative, customer-directed Total Quality Control and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The B2B B2B2C Total Quality Control management factor is viral. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Without adequate web services, aggregation are forced to become B2B. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. If you optimize vertically, you may have to incubate interactively. Without iteration, you will lack structuring. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The versioning factor is world-class. We think that most back-end portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for coping with new mega-intra-seamless iteration? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to matrix virally. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. We will amplify our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our ability to iterate. We will cultivate the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained web services are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We believe we know that if you actualize micro-strategically then you may also reinvent strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? The performance factor is B2B. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused e-services and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of extensible action-items. We will enlarge our capability to generate without reducing our capacity to streamline. We realize that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also integrate transparently. The research and development factor is backward-compatible. The capability to monetize ultra-interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2B. Think long-term, robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "cross-media, collaborative". We will evolve the ability of web-readiness to whiteboard. Think micro-social-network-based, compelling. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to incentivize super-extensibly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think micro-nano-blog-based. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We constantly harness fractal TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will mesh the term "real-world". Think backward-compatible. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and FOAF. We think that most long-term, affiliate-based portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl.