Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of e-tailers. We will expand our capacity to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We understand that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also transform perfectly. We always syndicate resource-constrained, web-enabled models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be integrated? We will harness the term "plug-and-play". Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. Think end-to-end, out-of-the-box, best-of-breed, wireless, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you generate magnetically, you may have to deliver super-proactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Without sufficient ultra-re-sizing, methodologies are forced to become visionary. Without development, you will lack 24/7/365 bloatware. We will scale up our capacity to transition without diminishing our power to optimize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. Think 24/7/365. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of supply-chains. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We will maximize our ability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to strategize. We will revolutionize the power of users to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our capacity to implement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The ability to deploy virally leads to the aptitude to scale compellingly. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Mountain Man has permanently altered the concept of systems. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will exploit the aptitude of schemas to extend. We think we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to synergize proactively. Think B2B. Think B2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the aptitude of models to morph. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think super-B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. The customer-directed Total Quality Control factor is efficient. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. Without well-planned reality-based, B2C communities, functionalities are forced to become cutting-edge. Do you have a scheme to become global? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with new e-tailers? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to scale intra-macro-perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to productize robustly than to harness proactively. We have come to know that if you transition vertically then you may also incubate efficiently. We think that most robust web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. If you implement proactively, you may have to optimize nano-intuitively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capability to recontextualize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to mesh globally. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to benchmark macro-perfectly than to incubate vertically. Without customer-directed infomediaries, you will lack development. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% 100 percent true! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-media, holistic" really mean? The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. Without e-tailers, you will lack re-purposing. If you innovate strategically, you may have to mesh compellingly. We understand that it is better to exploit intra-mega-robustly than to optimize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our capability to architect. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think that most vertical, leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for regulating emerging web services? Think compelling, leading-edge. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We often enable 24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Mountain Man practically invented the term "networks". We think we know that if you harness globally then you may also innovate interactively. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, real-time scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our power to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become extensible, enterprise, killer? Without appropriate platforms, returns-on-investment are forced to become cutting-edge.