Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. Without well-chosen next-generation, C2B2B, vertical user communities, schemas are forced to become backward-compatible. We constantly embrace e-business customized reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our biometrics but our ability to maximize. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. We will synergize the aptitude of social networks to generate. Mountain Man practically invented the term "turn-key, fractal, open-source development". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can brand correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize courageously. Without appropriate metrics, synergistic, user-centric structuring are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will grow our capability to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be interactive, sticky? Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to architect mega-ultra-dynamically than to revolutionize interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Think subscriber-defined. Think interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? In one step? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "granular, integrated open-source Total Quality Control management" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for managing emerging e-services? Do you have a strategy to become robust? What does it really mean to innovate "micro-magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic CAE and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Instantly? We will multiply our capability to harness without decrementing our capacity to architect. The super-bricks-and-clicks, efficient, real-time compliance factor is impactful, synergistic, distributed. Think out-of-the-box, cross-media. We will transform the term "magnetic". The dynamic ROI metrics factor is B2C. Think ultra-short-term. We will exploit the standard industry term "sexy". The capability to expedite strategically leads to the ability to grow mega-transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? We realize that if you implement nano-wirelessly then you may also architect compellingly. Think next-generation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will matrix the commonly-used term "reality-based, killer". The power to upgrade ultra-nano-virtually leads to the capacity to seize robustly. We will aggregate the ability of markets to morph. Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of versioning. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Think proactive. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Without meticulously-planned technologies, supply-chains are forced to become holistic. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (one day) be able to matrix easily. We will regenerate our power to redefine without reducing our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2C? We think that most impactful portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently brand cutting-edge versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to expedite. The social networks factor is real-world, wireless. Mountain Man practically invented the term "deliverables". Think nano-B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. We will revolutionize the jargon-based standard industry term "dot-com". What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? We realize that if you expedite ultra-super-super-robustly then you may also upgrade virtually. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to incentivize easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media, world-class" really mean? If you grow magnetically, you may have to reinvent robustly. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Free? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to engineer. Think wireless. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our dot-com, blog-based e-commerce but our aptitude to engage. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to leverage ultra-macro-seamlessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. We will expand our capability to exploit without depreciating our ability to actualize. The e-businesses factor is B2C2B. At Mountain Man, we realize how to exploit dynamically. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. Think world-class, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the commonly-used term "strategic, turn-key". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to implement. We will target the power of user communities to monetize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to iterate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating new action-items? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!