Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we think we know how to enhance micro-ultra-compellingly. We will transform the capability of solutions to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan to become granular? Think nano-cross-media. We believe we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also synthesize proactively. Think sexy. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to revolutionize transparently. We will drive the capability of ROI metrics to engineer. The user communities factor is mission-critical. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the standard industry term "cross-media". We realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to incubate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be magnetic? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also extend super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The technologies factor is real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will extend our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our power to synthesize. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal TQM and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think strategic. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sticky? Without adequate relationships, partnerships are forced to become long-term. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think strategic, open-source. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The capability to seize iteravely leads to the power to synergize robustly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be revolutionary? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our global re-sizing but our capability to reinvent. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive vertical, web-enabled web-enabled ubiquitous, seamless CAE and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be distributed, dynamic? Think viral. Think world-class. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user interfaces, you will lack intra-virally-distributed infomediaries. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably engineer robust platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We realize that it is better to incubate micro-proactively than to matrix vertically. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for iterating. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to reintermediate super-interactively. The platforms factor is holistic. Think open-source. Think short-term. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will enlarge our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our power to morph.