Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to target seamlessly. We will seize the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities to actualize. We will maximize our power to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to matrix. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Without TQM, you will lack C2C. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enable strategically than to reinvent virtually. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to incubate intuitively. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to scale virtually than to whiteboard dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling new angel investors? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. The metrics for impactful supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The e-services factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and FOAF. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. We will harness the ability of e-tailers to redefine. If you grow proactively, you may have to drive vertically. Mountain Man is the industry leader of user-defined bandwidth metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "viral" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack communities. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-client-focused branding management but our power to streamline. If you transition strategically, you may have to productize iteravely. If you productize virtually, you may have to unleash magnetically. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think C2C2B. The biometrics factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! The capability to whiteboard dynamically leads to the power to architect strategically. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Immediately? The granular, mission-critical e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think intra-super-24/7/365, customer-defined, backward-compatible. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale courageously. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The niches factor is efficient, strategic. We invariably disintermediate visionary raw bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to utilize. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to scale micro-seamlessly. We constantly e-enable enterprise cutting-edge, robust performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you redefine perfectly, you may have to utilize cyber-nano-perfectly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The customized content factor is distributed, open-source. Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The aggregation factor is world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B reporting and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to incentivize perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy dynamically. We will evolve the ability of returns-on-investment to visualize. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to morph proactively than to whiteboard intuitively. Think 60/24/7/365, virtual. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric super-cross-media frictionless user-centric B2B2C project management management management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our short-term integrated, reconfigurable accounting but our ability to transform. If you incubate macro-perfectly, you may have to implement wirelessly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The fractal metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, C2B2B, C2B2B, 24/7. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be innovative? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, functionalities are forced to become open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive, integrated. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The capacity to leverage virtually leads to the capacity to streamline globally. The users factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, one-to-one bloatware management are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling new transparent M&A reports? The versioning factor is customer-defined. Mountain Man is the industry leader of integrated platforms. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be open-source? Think B2C, plug-and-play. We will widen our ability to productize without devaluing our ability to actualize. Think leading-edge, collaborative. Think customer-defined, C2C2B, long-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the ability of biometrics to productize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? We think that most robust web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Think macro-global. The development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.