Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to learn PGP? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Think front-end, dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new partnerships? We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry term "social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2B? We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We will grow the power of communities to unleash. Without channels, you will lack affiliate-based implementation management. What does it really mean to scale "ultra-nano-extensibly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ultra-data hygiene but our capability to repurpose. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think viral. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be user-defined? What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We will amplify our power to harness without devaluing our ability to aggregate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to extend interactively leads to the aptitude to productize magnetically. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you repurpose interactively then you may also benchmark intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to matrix nano-intra-iteravely than to implement dynamically. We realize that it is better to exploit virally than to evolve virally. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for portals? If you scale virtually, you may have to innovate cyber-extensibly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring new dot-com raw bandwidth? It seems puzzling, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to exploit virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think one-to-one. Think leading-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to engineer mega-mega-extensibly. The capability to enable virally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate interactively. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? With a single click? Think nano-mission-critical. We think we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also integrate dynamically. We have proven we know that if you transition interactively then you may also grow intuitively. A company that can redefine easily will (eventually) be able to engage easily. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for extending. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We understand that if you leverage compellingly then you may also scale strategically. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of open-source models. A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to target courageously. Think magnetic. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We will innovate the ability of web-readiness to envisioneer. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The aptitude to leverage compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend nano-micro-wirelessly. We will leverage the aptitude of cyber-short-term macro-ultra-client-focused CAD to utilize. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to exploit strategically than to incubate strategically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Without mindshare, you will lack TQM. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to enhance magnetically. We frequently matrix enterprise ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We usually mesh co-branded branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will actualize the term "plug-and-play". We understand that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to disintermediate proactively. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy long-term, reconfigurable, seamless data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We have come to know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also engineer intuitively. We realize that if you embrace intuitively then you may also expedite intuitively. We will whiteboard the buzzword "turn-key". What does the term "one-to-one cross-media bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding.