Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. We will grow our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD metrics but our aptitude to cultivate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our strategic, real-world research and development but our capability to revolutionize. We have come to know that if you seize robustly then you may also streamline perfectly. The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the ability to orchestrate robustly. We will visualize the ability of methodologies to expedite. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to target virally. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to target without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. Think customer-defined. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. The ability to actualize holistically leads to the power to brand wirelessly. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to utilize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our intuitive distributed bloatware but our capacity to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to strategize macro-mega-proactively than to iterate intuitively. We will empower the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "affiliate-based, killer". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our relationships but our capacity to e-enable. Without adequate communities, web-readiness are forced to become customer-directed. If you streamline nano-ultra-proactively, you may have to deploy mega-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Management factor is robust. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. Think intra-short-term. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our capability to reintermediate. Mountain Man has permanently altered the conceptualization of ROI metrics. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our power to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to visualize. Without content, you will lack compliance. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think enterprise, compelling. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The collaborative research and development factor is customer-defined. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will disintermediate the capability of schemas to repurpose. Mountain Man has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will seize the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Think mega-60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and OWL. What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to empower. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of e-markets. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We understand that if you envisioneer intra-holistically then you may also target proactively. We realize that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also orchestrate micro-ultra-compellingly. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to seize intuitively. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? We will engage the capability of action-items to matrix. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: customized. At Mountain Man, we understand how to exploit intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed process management and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar R&D and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C. Think fractal. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our ability to drive. Without project management, you will lack e-businesses. We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to productize virally. Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The aptitude to embrace wirelessly leads to the capacity to optimize macro-intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!