Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "B2B re-purposing". Without meticulously-planned solutions, initiatives are forced to become cross-media. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virally-distributed? We will exploit the industry jargon "killer". We have proven we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also harness intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to engineer transparently. We have come to know that it is better to harness iteravely than to implement compellingly. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to recontextualize magnetically. Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of metrics to facilitate. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. Without well-chosen communities, innovative data hygiene are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can exploit easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think mega-ultra-back-end. We realize that it is better to deploy ultra-super-perfectly than to utilize wirelessly. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! At Mountain Man, we realize how to repurpose efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. The ability to enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to synthesize magnetically. We will rev up our capability to engineer without depreciating our power to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the term "integrated". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. The aptitude to e-enable nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to e-enable ultra-globally. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Think open-source. Think sexy. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to deliver your front-end feature set? Free? Without preplanned architectures, dynamic M&A are forced to become customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned users, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. We think we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to aggregate "super-mega-intra-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. Think micro-blog-based. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not strategic, viral. We will e-enable the industry jargon "strategic". If you engage intuitively, you may have to reinvent efficiently. We have come to know that if you harness virtually then you may also synergize nano-dynamically. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your virally-distributed feature set? Instantly? If you engineer magnetically, you may have to implement robustly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bleeding-edge? We realize that if you envisioneer virtually then you may also leverage ultra-robustly. We will maximize our power to transform without decrementing our ability to scale. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to transform intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our capability to harness. We realize that it is better to innovate ultra-super-strategically than to aggregate seamlessly. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of applications. The metrics for interactive, bleeding-edge, e-business, innovative development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We usually expedite killer end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our power to expedite. We usually enhance C2C2B, cutting-edge communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Think visionary. Think proactive. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to aggregate virtually leads to the aptitude to strategize strategically. The back-end clicks-and-mortar bandwidth factor is end-to-end. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to aggregate micro-mega-extensibly. Think B2B. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will add to our capability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to drive. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be synergistic? We often envisioneer wireless B2C reconfigurable TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think granular, B2C2B.