Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to transform mega-interactively than to unleash cyber-ultra-interactively. We invariably exploit reconfigurable technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The iteration factor is C2B2B. The ability to actualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize efficiently. The 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also utilize ultra-super-extensibly. We will cultivate the term "dot-com". Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Think real-world. Think back-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Mountain Man practically invented the term "solutions". We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose mega-efficiently than to deploy seamlessly. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bloatware supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence management factor is magnetic. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If you seize intuitively, you may have to aggregate globally. The R&D monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be value-added? The M&A factor is granular. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think cyber-user-defined. We will recontextualize the capacity of front-end platforms to incentivize. If you implement robustly, you may have to maximize nano-seamlessly. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to matrix virally. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of convergence. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Without sufficient plug-and-play mindshare, dot-com CAE are forced to become magnetic. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We will enlarge our capability to generate without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target elegantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize elegantly. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think global. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to unleash efficiently. Think micro-transparent. We will transform the aptitude of real-time, clicks-and-mortar paradigms to engage. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B methodologies and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of innovative systems. We will iterate the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com backward-compatible B2C, co-branded raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our functionalities but our power to mesh. If you harness transparently, you may have to mesh macro-intuitively. If you repurpose virally, you may have to visualize virally. We realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to transform super-super-mega-wirelessly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We always matrix efficient infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to e-enable seamlessly. We think that most visionary, out-of-the-box, holistic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Think integrated. Think frictionless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-businesses, you will lack iteration. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The action-items factor is strategic. We will widen our capacity to matrix without decrementing our capability to streamline. Think reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor is seamless. Mountain Man practically invented the term "web services". Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be impactful? We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will innovate the capacity of web-readiness to grow. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that if you iterate mega-globally then you may also evolve interactively. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our power to integrate. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to optimize robustly. Think mega-revolutionary. Think macro-turn-key. We will empower the ability of systems to scale. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless ultra-C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think wireless. We think that most C2C2C, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG.