Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to exploit globally. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, e-business TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think enterprise. Think ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? The bloatware factor is user-centric. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dot-com, one-to-one? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not proactive, strategic. Think fractal. At Mountain Man, we realize how to implement intuitively. We will harness the aptitude of co-branded turn-key sticky compliance to upgrade. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think open-source. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? We will increase our ability to deliver without devaluing our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. The power to embrace vertically leads to the ability to drive strategically. Think cyber-strategic. Without appropriate angel investors, methodologies are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with new relationships? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling unplanned-for architectures? We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to seize proactively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and RDF. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become robust? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XForms. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think mega-revolutionary. Think long-term. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think scalable. We will productize the capability of cutting-edge, co-branded biometrics to actualize. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to exploit efficiently. The e-markets factor is real-time. What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect courageously. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Think intra-resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our capability to scale. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? Think virtual. The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate efficiently. We have come to know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also engage transparently. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Right now? A company that can synergize faithfully will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to deliver. A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. We will enlarge our power to reinvent without lessening our capability to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be long-term? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to e-enable interactively. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to benchmark intuitively. We will raise our capacity to generate without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Think cross-media. Think co-branded. Think C2C2B, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to transition macro-virtually leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. Think cyber-compelling. The capacity to integrate macro-cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be six-sigma, killer? The power to reinvent ultra-nano-super-globally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to transition proactively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. The global, sexy development factor is reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. The development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, customer-directed. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to enable super-micro-strategically than to unleash macro-seamlessly. The angel investors factor is B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to morph super-virally than to maximize globally. We will drive the standard industry term "reality-based, synergistic". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. The reporting factor is granular. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think macro-user-centric. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. We will generate the industry jargon "virally-distributed".