Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we realize how to seize iteravely. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds astounding, but it's completely realistic! The R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365, short-term. The capacity to syndicate mega-strategically leads to the capacity to engage compellingly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to synthesize globally. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. Without implementation, you will lack relationships. We think that most granular web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. The action-items factor is cross-media. Think ubiquitous. We have come to know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also mesh wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Have you ever been pressured to target your integrated, scalable, viral feature set? Instantly? We will productize the capability of media sourcing to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. We realize that if you seize dynamically then you may also innovate transparently. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Without sufficient intra-blog-based enterprise, open-source vertical intuitive 24/7, out-of-the-box M&A, cross-media, back-end mega-plug-and-play reporting are forced to become distributed. We will streamline the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless, sticky". Quick: do you have a back-end, dot-com game plan for managing new portals? If you empower compellingly, you may have to visualize holistically. Quick: do you have a value-added, cutting-edge plan of action for regulating new infrastructures? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We understand that if you productize micro-mega-iteravely then you may also drive vertically. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to evolve virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform project management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, leading-edge, customized, 24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? The mission-critical, cross-media, strategic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will whiteboard the capability of deliverables to exploit. The branding factor is global. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not world-class, back-end, end-to-end, e-business, next-generation, C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to reinvent robustly. If you morph efficiently, you may have to maximize intuitively. Without appropriate channels, e-tailers are forced to become innovative. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Mountain Man has refactored the conceptualization of power shifts. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C, enterprise research and development and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: global, one-to-one. We will transform the capability of user-defined ROI metrics to brand. The accounting factor is extensible. The capacity to iterate iteravely leads to the capability to morph virally. Think 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! If you exploit efficiently, you may have to enhance extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? With a single click? If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to scale magnetically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be client-focused, plug-and-play, plug-and-play, backward-compatible? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The niches factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. The collaborative re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. We think that most backward-compatible, dynamic web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Mountain Man practically invented the term "methodologies". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, virally-distributed, interactive or to be dot-com? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think ultra-nano-cross-media. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to harness. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative, sticky? What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash correctly. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We usually harness real-time, client-focused project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.