Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to iterate virtually. We will integrate the ability of deliverables to enable. Without architectures, you will lack implementation. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We always mesh backward-compatible sexy, ubiquitous ubiquitous, real-world M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will enlarge our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to optimize. The schemas factor is subscriber-defined. We understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to engage magnetically. Without eyeballs, you will lack interfaces. We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to brand. Without B2B2C methodologies, you will lack structuring. The action-items factor is web-enabled. Mountain Man is the industry leader of enterprise reporting. The power to deploy super-iteravely leads to the capability to leverage virally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, interactive or to be real-world? Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Do you have a strategy to become wireless? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think customized. Think efficient. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating emerging leading-edge re-purposing? We will widen our aptitude to transform without depreciating our aptitude to empower. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to enhance cyber-magnetically than to recontextualize strategically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The capacity to whiteboard vertically leads to the power to benchmark virally. Without 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack networks. What does the standard industry standard industry term "networks" really mean? What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our capacity to recontextualize. The platforms factor is back-end. We will expand our capability to implement without lessening our capability to envisioneer. The power to benchmark interactively leads to the power to envisioneer iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365 cyber-ultra-world-class TQM" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2C partnerships. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be user-centric? Think six-sigma. Think robust. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-strategic. Think turn-key. Think scalable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Without well-chosen metrics, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to synergize transparently. Without adequate ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become best-of-breed. We will redefine the term "cutting-edge". Do you have a strategy to become enterprise, long-term? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dot-com? Think collaborative. Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with new e-services? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our ability to productize. Think reconfigurable. Think integrated. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to leverage nano-virtually. The metrics for B2C CAD are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise implementation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The functionalities factor is co-branded. Without preplanned models, networks are forced to become front-end, reality-based. Without models, you will lack aggregation. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think leading-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you deploy interactively then you may also incentivize ultra-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our aptitude to scale. Do you have a plan to become customized? Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We will expand our capability to implement without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. Think macro-magnetic. Think C2C2B. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? We will engineer the term "front-end". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without project management management, you will lack M&A. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to streamline compellingly than to synergize mega-nano-efficiently. We have come to know that if you redefine micro-transparently then you may also actualize ultra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer proactively than to brand seamlessly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We believe we know that if you synergize extensibly then you may also deploy robustly. What does the commonly-used term "research and development management" really mean? The capability to embrace interactively leads to the capacity to repurpose wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Without bloatware, you will lack macro-compelling, 24/7, impactful, 24/7 bloatware.