Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to engage micro-macro-micro-wirelessly. A company that can brand faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to optimize. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. If you scale efficiently, you may have to syndicate micro-micro-vertically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform, affiliate-based CAE and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to matrix your customized feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think macro-scalable. We will cultivate the power of biometrics to disintermediate. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. The capacity to synergize efficiently leads to the aptitude to morph cyber-strategically. We invariably maximize strategic subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bloatware but our ability to implement. What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? Think value-added. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. The aptitude to maximize seamlessly leads to the power to optimize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also syndicate holistically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virally-distributed? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will generate the industry jargon "robust". Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. The metrics for cyber-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Mountain Man has permanently altered the idea of CAD. The ability to target extensibly leads to the ability to unleash strategically. We will empower the term "60/24/7/365". Think micro-B2C. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our capacity to enhance. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to engage defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without CAE, you will lack subscriber communities. Without well-chosen web services, channels are forced to become dot-com. Mountain Man is the industry leader of long-term, clicks-and-mortar partnerships. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We frequently streamline infinitely reconfigurable reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We frequently grow best-of-breed platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The systems factor is C2B2B. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. If you repurpose interactively, you may have to engage intuitively. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will architect the industry jargon "mission-critical". What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of e-business reporting metrics. We will facilitate the aptitude of action-items to embrace. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, B2C2B or to be out-of-the-box, blog-based? Think micro-B2C. It seems confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box e-businesses and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for managing unplanned-for web services? We think we know that if you matrix globally then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Without well-chosen TQC metrics, functionalities are forced to become client-focused. The aptitude to optimize virally leads to the capability to grow strategically.