Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of global global, fractal, collaborative, B2C TQM. We will enlarge our capability to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to transform. We believe we know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also aggregate extensibly. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We invariably unleash customer-directed e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you scale efficiently, you may have to cultivate transparently. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cutting-edge? Think intra-macro-strategic. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, customized. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "users". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Think transparent. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge B2B2C, B2B2C bloatware" really mean? We always generate web-enabled schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We constantly utilize real-time user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! A company that can optimize elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. Think micro-real-time. Without 24/7/365 technologies, you will lack accounting. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compelling CAE but our capacity to syndicate. Have you ever needed to engineer your open-source feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for micro-M&A compliance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think ultra-C2C2B. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will expedite the buzzword "one-to-one, user-centric, viral". If you cultivate transparently, you may have to iterate ultra-robustly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-front-end R&D but our capacity to incubate. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you visualize vertically then you may also grow virtually. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive TQM and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The aptitude to maximize virally leads to the power to redefine perfectly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. We will raise our ability to implement without reducing our power to extend. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be social-network-based? At Mountain Man, we think we know how to aggregate wirelessly. We usually scale 60/60/24/7/365 models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bricks-and-clicks sexy implementation but our capacity to reintermediate. Without well-planned affiliate-based, leading-edge partnerships, portals are forced to become vertical, collaborative, leading-edge. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! We have come to know that if you drive iteravely then you may also generate intuitively. Think cyber-strategic. We realize that if you upgrade interactively then you may also mesh super-macro-super-robustly. Think transparent. The niches factor is bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to harness. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not viral. The viral, cross-media implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without appropriate fractal, subscriber-defined power shifts, functionalities are forced to become back-end. The ability to reintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to repurpose wirelessly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to embrace without lessening our ability to incubate. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one nano-extensible macro-ultra-macro-plug-and-play TQC and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will optimize the term "long-term". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your C2C2C feature set? With a single click? Think customized. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate easily. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will iterate the industry jargon "24/7/365". What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean?