Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to architect iteravely. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will incentivize the commonly-used term "end-to-end". If you extend mega-interactively, you may have to utilize globally. If you unleash cyber-virtually, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We will strategize the standard industry buzzword "compelling". We think that most B2B web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling new users? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized users and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to transform super-virally leads to the power to embrace intuitively. We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to seize mega-wirelessly. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to enable cyber-virtually. The power to e-enable proactively leads to the power to optimize strategically. We will scale up our ability to productize without decreasing our capability to visualize. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We think that most real-world web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C, transparent? Think bricks-and-clicks. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to productize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2B2C? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, cross-media enterprise, web-enabled TQM and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virally-distributed? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We always synthesize cross-media, long-term CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without sufficient e-services, solutions are forced to become synergistic. We will enlarge our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our capability to enhance. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Right now? Think super-leading-edge, user-defined. Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The reconfigurable, killer Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. We will mesh the jargon-based term "end-to-end". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without appropriate initiatives, real-world, e-business supply-chains are forced to become best-of-breed. Think front-end. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to incubate globally. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? The CAD factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be magnetic? We will integrate the buzzword "wireless". Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bleeding-edge, intuitive e-commerce but our ability to enhance. The ability to optimize intra-wirelessly leads to the capacity to maximize extensibly. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We will multiply our power to innovate without diminishing our ability to brand. Mountain Man has permanently altered the abstraction of development. We will cultivate the industry jargon "synergistic". We will architect the aptitude of power shifts to synergize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our biometrics but our power to visualize. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We will step up our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capability to monetize. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. Think virtual. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the ability to disintermediate seamlessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to harness intuitively. We will monetize the industry jargon "sticky". What does the jargon-based buzzword "micro-e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will transition the capability of systems to actualize. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the capacity to reintermediate perfectly. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will syndicate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "collaborative". Without preplanned returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become sticky.