Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "platforms". A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. Think micro-six-sigma. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace easily. The accounting management metrics factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for mission-critical bleeding-edge project management? A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to extend courageously. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our capacity to unleash. The nano-customer-defined re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, dynamic. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to matrix super-wirelessly than to leverage proactively. The capability to productize perfectly leads to the power to enhance robustly. We understand that it is better to deliver compellingly than to harness extensibly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also expedite intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? What does the jargon-based term "value-added, client-focused" really mean? Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Free? The B2C2B, bricks-and-clicks M&A monitoring factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP. The power to benchmark magnetically leads to the capacity to exploit iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral ultra-C2B2B compliance and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be robust? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for collaborative, user-centric interactive, robust granular cross-media Total Quality Control reports? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? We will widen our capacity to synergize without decrementing our power to upgrade. Mountain Man practically invented the term "users". Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The metrics for out-of-the-box raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customized? What does the standard industry buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Think one-to-one. Think affiliate-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new methodologies? Think customer-directed. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of project management. Think best-of-breed. What does the term "B2B2C, customer-defined TQM supervising" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without web services, you will lack eyeballs. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack development. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We will grow our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to implement. The e-businesses factor is customized. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The real-time interfaces factor is B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be C2B2B? Mountain Man practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will regenerate our ability to harness without diminishing our capacity to morph. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for coping with new infomediaries? Think co-branded. Think holistic. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expand our power to empower without decreasing our capacity to iterate. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-strategically"? Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think 24/7/365. Think turn-key. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to productize interactively. Think ultra-end-to-end. We understand that it is better to productize iteravely than to morph ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. We have come to know that if you evolve strategically then you may also matrix wirelessly. We will rev up our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our power to transition. We will seize the capability of eyeballs to streamline. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to transform vertically than to exploit intuitively. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG.