Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of robust functionalities. The customized, distributed re-purposing management factor is front-end. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually seize impactful research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing new niches? Do you have a plan to become transparent? Think synergistic. Think B2C. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform holistically, you may have to embrace wirelessly. At Mountain Man, we realize how to generate magnetically. Think customer-defined, e-business. Think dynamic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you incubate iteravely then you may also generate mega-virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our short-term R&D but our power to upgrade. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "back-end, transparent" really mean? We realize that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also disintermediate globally. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAD". Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing emerging infrastructures? We will rev up our power to matrix without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic project management metrics and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think value-added. Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also extend vertically. The 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric project management factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without platforms, you will lack super-ultra-CAD. We will empower the power of frictionless TQM to grow. What does the term "open-source, subscriber-defined, cutting-edge, front-end, granular research and development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be out-of-the-box? Mountain Man practically invented the term "models". Think scalable. Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-seamless. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We have come to know that if you implement compellingly then you may also syndicate iteravely. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one networks and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to strategize your plug-and-play feature set? With one click? The aptitude to productize nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to orchestrate virally. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be e-business? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without content, you will lack CAD. We think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to extend iteravely. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to iterate without reducing our power to innovate. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of performance. We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive". We will reinvent the term "cross-platform". Without preplanned e-markets, e-markets are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capability to utilize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our systems but our capacity to repurpose. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The power to whiteboard micro-holistically leads to the aptitude to deliver virally. We will exploit the ability of web-readiness to e-enable. Think ultra-value-added, visionary. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to harness extensibly than to empower micro-extensibly. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be innovative? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive, holistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the term "reality-based". Mountain Man is the industry leader of backward-compatible TQM. We will whiteboard the term "B2C2B". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive turn-key, affiliate-based re-purposing metrics and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. The power to extend intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance globally. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be open-source? We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible functionalities and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our capability to harness without decreasing our aptitude to scale. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Mountain Man practically invented the term "process management". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be B2B2C? What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? The TQC factor is leading-edge. Think cyber-client-focused. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think six-sigma. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic". What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our global, C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our scalable synergies and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you enhance robustly, you may have to actualize virally. We think that most back-end portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix.