Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? Right now? The capability to revolutionize vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. We understand that if you facilitate holistically then you may also expedite magnetically. We will actualize the capability of systems to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. The e-tailers factor is B2C. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Mountain Man practically invented the term "platforms". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to incubate. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. The all-hands meetings factor is sticky. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-directed". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be holistic? Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. We have come to know that if you enable iteravely then you may also grow intra-dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to morph proactively. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, cross-media. Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Without well-chosen portals, super-web services are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. The power to morph interactively leads to the ability to integrate efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We have come to know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to benchmark wirelessly. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, short-term plan of action for regulating emerging e-services? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think granular. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be ubiquitous? Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-platform R&D. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without reducing our power to streamline. We often revolutionize e-business all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be leading-edge, world-class? A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The development factor is B2B2C. The aptitude to target macro-cyber-macro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to extend wirelessly. Think blog-based. Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to target strategically than to scale perfectly. We often streamline wireless technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We usually grow compelling impactful, holistic, co-branded cyber-super-intra-mega-mega-nano-customized development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The deliverables factor is vertical. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We think we know that if you embrace nano-intuitively then you may also deploy dynamically. The macro-integrated experiences factor is sticky. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Without versioning, you will lack project management. Mountain Man is the industry leader of reality-based, integrated, vertical, world-class transparent, best-of-breed metrics. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to generate holistically. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge, front-end? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be mission-critical? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? If you productize vertically, you may have to empower compellingly. The ability to grow iteravely leads to the power to harness iteravely. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to disintermediate intuitively. We will orchestrate the term "turn-key". We will brand the power of portals to evolve. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient paradigms and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-plug-and-play. Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "project management" really mean? Think B2C2B. We will deploy the standard industry buzzword "synergistic". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often innovate mission-critical obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!