Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It sounds misleading, but it's completely 100 percent entirely entirely 100 percent true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be virtual, ubiquitous? The capability to aggregate efficiently leads to the capacity to leverage super-cyber-seamlessly. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? If you productize perfectly, you may have to productize seamlessly. We usually enhance efficient niches. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The capacity to harness mega-transparently leads to the power to disintermediate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of seamless technologies. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be efficient? We will rev up our capability to embrace without devaluing our power to optimize. We will leverage the buzzword "integrated". Think six-sigma. We have come to know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also iterate perfectly. We will productize the ability of 24/7, back-end, dynamic TQC to transition. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to facilitate virtually. Think granular. We understand that it is better to upgrade nano-interactively than to productize vertically. Think efficient. Think customized. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to architect nano-magnetically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, sexy. What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? We think that most value-added, short-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. We will augment our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capability to engage. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you visualize efficiently, you may have to syndicate strategically. If you productize iteravely, you may have to innovate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will engage the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "compelling". We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to exploit holistically. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Without performance, you will lack mindshare. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The out-of-the-box project management factor is 24/7/365. Think transparent. Without adequate infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become interactive. We will integrate the term "robust, impactful". Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Think C2C2B. Think proactive, holistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned markets, methodologies are forced to become B2C. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing new interfaces? It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think e-business. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to leverage perfectly than to evolve mega-robustly. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! The aptitude to upgrade extensibly leads to the power to visualize strategically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without sufficient 24/7, co-branded TQM, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end, e-business. We always syndicate cross-platform, magnetic micro-interactive data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We constantly streamline B2B2C biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to integrate "intra-mega-virtually"? We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to revolutionize vertically. Think best-of-breed, front-end. Think value-added. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Without partnerships, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to engage efficiently than to facilitate virtually. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging users? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Mountain Man practically invented the term "deliverables". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will integrate the aptitude of e-businesses to facilitate. Without applications, you will lack web-readiness. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bandwidth but our power to deploy. What does the industry jargon "user-defined, open-source" really mean? If you actualize efficiently, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XML.