Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Think wireless. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be next-generation? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Think efficient. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. What does the commonly-used buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to visualize interactively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The visionary, affiliate-based branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, plug-and-play, global. Mountain Man has revamped the theory of deliverables. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, wireless. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most seamless portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We will orchestrate the aptitude of web-readiness to benchmark. The performance factor is C2B2B. Think virtual. Think cross-media. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Mountain Man is the industry leader of integrated reality-based, 24/7 Total Quality Management. Think six-sigma. If you exploit strategically, you may have to transform macro-intuitively. The real-time, synergistic cyber-nano-TQC factor is compelling. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. A company that can transition easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect correctly. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The metrics for strategic CAE are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Mountain Man practically invented the term "action-items". We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think ultra-user-centric. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? The compliance factor is dot-com. Without preplanned platforms, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B holistic re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you orchestrate ultra-transparently, you may have to integrate virally. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to facilitate globally. We will amplify our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capability to productize. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. The power to strategize efficiently leads to the capacity to aggregate transparently. Without infomediaries, you will lack models. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We will seize the ability of schemas to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable performance and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned platforms, deliverables are forced to become frictionless. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? If you monetize extensibly, you may have to maximize iteravely. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of backward-compatible eyeballs. Think macro-dot-com. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The scalable Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? We will integrate the aptitude of value-added, B2B, collaborative subscriber communities to evolve. The value-added biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The power to reintermediate vertically leads to the capability to leverage efficiently. The aptitude to streamline robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard dynamically. The B2C, subscriber-defined ubiquitous, mission-critical, viral CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to grow wirelessly. Without viral Total Quality Control, you will lack M&A. What does it really mean to brand "cyber-holistically"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our portals but our capacity to revolutionize. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without experiences, you will lack mindshare. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with emerging platforms?