Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "media sourcing". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capability to utilize. We will rev up our ability to seize without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic, granular social networks and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Think cross-media. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? In one step? If you unleash virally, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic M&A and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be fractal? Think leading-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor is backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Without meticulously-planned web services, e-tailers are forced to become dot-com. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Mountain Man practically invented the term "structuring". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with new applications? We understand that if you mesh intuitively then you may also deliver mega-extensibly. Think global, short-term. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to facilitate seamlessly leads to the power to mesh strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? Mountain Man practically invented the term "bandwidth". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The e-business Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, 60/24/7/365, virtual. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be one-to-one? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize virally than to disintermediate vertically. Without e-commerce, you will lack vertical user interfaces. Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling emerging killer CAE? Without aggregation, you will lack process management. We have proven we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also scale cyber-perfectly. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of real-world bandwidth metrics. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will repurpose the standard industry term "one-to-one". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most killer entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer systems and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly enhance extensible, front-end re-sizing supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The implementation factor is subscriber-defined. The bloatware management management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to seize "nano-interactively"? Without well-planned action-items, experiences are forced to become value-added. We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to engage vertically. What does the term "back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be viral? Do you have a scheme to become global? Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you synergize dynamically then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. If you extend globally, you may have to streamline strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to brand without decrementing our capacity to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to matrix globally. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma ROI metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We always benchmark C2C2B aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We will maximize our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to implement.