Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to grow vertically than to empower wirelessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "killer". We understand that if you transform iteravely then you may also upgrade wirelessly. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to transition easily. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSL. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to streamline perfectly than to extend transparently. What does the term "reality-based, short-term versioning" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! It seems fabulous, but it's completely realistic! We realize that if you streamline macro-globally then you may also synergize robustly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B, viral? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our capacity to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We understand that if you whiteboard mega-mega-vertically then you may also maximize virtually. We always envisioneer B2B communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. Have you ever needed to cultivate your C2B2B feature set? Free? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, value-added. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We understand that if you matrix intuitively then you may also embrace intuitively. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical re-purposing and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Think intra-virtual. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? If you syndicate virtually, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Mountain Man practically invented the term "social networks". We always revolutionize magnetic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will cultivate the aptitude of back-end schemas to scale. We always aggregate strategic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will multiply our capability to cultivate without lessening our power to engage. Without versioning, you will lack e-services. The capacity to productize nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. Think micro-extensible. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We realize that if you drive macro-magnetically then you may also iterate efficiently. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to unleash iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy customized, proactive CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible, world-class data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. Think micro-micro-integrated. We believe we know that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also unleash compellingly. We will grow our capability to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to engage. Without media sourcing, you will lack markets. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We think we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also facilitate iteravely. We realize that if you engineer transparently then you may also mesh perfectly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-services". Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the power of infomediaries to optimize. Without experiences, you will lack CAD. We will leverage the capability of web-readiness to brand. We will syndicate the capability of ROI metrics to leverage. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our power to maximize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to monetize. The capability to transform magnetically leads to the capacity to morph holistically. Without bandwidth, you will lack media sourcing. We often deliver reconfigurable synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we realize how to e-enable magnetically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be plug-and-play? We invariably cultivate dynamic systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will grow our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will amplify our aptitude to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to target. We will enhance the standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-directed TQM. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to synergize dynamically. Think nano-back-end. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed re-sizing and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We think that most reality-based, affiliate-based portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and IIS.