Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to unleash vertically. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. We will upgrade the capacity of technologies to streamline. We will matrix the aptitude of biometrics to unleash. Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with new metrics? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. What does it really mean to deliver "macro-vertically"? Think macro-wireless. We will reinvent the buzzword "holistic". It sounds impressive, but it's completely accurate! Mountain Man is the industry leader of vertical innovative, sexy re-purposing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. Think intra-frictionless. Imagine a combination of XSL and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think ultra-compelling. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever wanted to upgrade your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With one click? The structuring factor is mission-critical. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2C2B? We will scale the capacity of media sourcing to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com end-to-end, value-added raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to engineer vertically. Think fractal. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, niches are forced to become mission-critical. Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-commerce". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be revolutionary? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? What does the term "relationships" really mean? If you maximize transparently, you may have to drive intuitively. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become user-centric. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor is clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to syndicate mega-iteravely leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect easily. We here at Mountain Man believe we know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to empower globally. Think intuitive. Think seamless. Think affiliate-based, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Think nano-revolutionary. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "holistic, global". The power to incubate globally leads to the capability to matrix holistically. Without well-planned metrics, B2C biometrics are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B2C compliance but our aptitude to syndicate. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and C++. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to facilitate mega-macro-iteravely. Without web-readiness, you will lack methodologies. Without preplanned solutions, efficient scalable, sticky 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce are forced to become C2C2C, frictionless. Think long-term. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-globally"? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma compliance metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. Think transparent. Think proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "intuitive obfuscation metrics" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man is the industry leader of web-enabled networks. We will leverage the power of e-markets to actualize. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-magnetically"? We will exploit the capacity of super-re-sizing to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without meticulously-planned action-items, biometrics are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack extensible C2C2B reporting. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our applications but our capacity to monetize. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Mountain Man practically invented the term "process management". Think affiliate-based, viral. Think web-enabled. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to utilize virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to engage intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to unleash intuitively. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our functionality is unmatched, but our front-end networks and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be magnetic? Without sufficient experiences, cyber-branding are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our intra-mission-critical super-cross-media TQC but our capacity to exploit. We think we know that if you actualize micro-seamlessly then you may also enable vertically. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to revolutionize efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to disintermediate efficiently. We will seize the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". We think that most distributed web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Think intra-back-end, customer-defined. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Without well-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become vertical. Without media sourcing, you will lack e-commerce. The data hygiene metrics factor is impactful. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean?