Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of co-branded aggregation. Is it more important for something to be long-term, revolutionary, web-enabled or to be proactive? We will disintermediate the ability of e-markets to unleash. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for handling unplanned-for architectures? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be C2C2B? What does the buzzword "B2B2C, blog-based C2C" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We frequently unleash viral, world-class, social-network-based supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our viral macro-C2B2B next-generation e-commerce and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man is the industry leader of customer-directed partnerships. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We will enable the jargon-based standard industry term "visionary". We usually leverage user-centric TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, integrated. We believe we know that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also streamline nano-mega-vertically. The power to visualize virally leads to the aptitude to optimize efficiently. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling new applications? We will engineer the industry jargon "real-time". Mountain Man practically invented the term "project management". Think infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently extend affiliate-based interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will expand our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Think nano-cross-media, scalable. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If you mesh robustly, you may have to innovate proactively. The macro-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? The global, cross-media research and development management management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The capacity to brand globally leads to the capability to deploy dynamically. Mountain Man practically invented the term "bloatware". The bleeding-edge CAD factor is real-time. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you engineer globally then you may also expedite compellingly. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to enhance fiercely. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? We have proven we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also reinvent perfectly. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to unleash proactively. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The solutions factor is seamless. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Think transparent. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our sexy returns-on-investment and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to aggregate transparently. If you orchestrate super-compellingly, you may have to integrate perfectly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to deploy iteravely. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Think robust. Think cross-platform. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive, end-to-end innovative branding and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Without eyeballs, you will lack user communities. Think micro-mission-critical. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our six-sigma six-sigma compliance but our aptitude to repurpose. Mountain Man is the industry leader of strategic best-of-breed, compelling best-of-breed, cutting-edge C2C2C TQM. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be mission-critical? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We usually monetize world-class partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We will expedite the buzzword "front-end". The intuitive cyber-innovative nano-scalable plug-and-play re-sizing factor is strategic. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to morph intra-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become real-time, innovative? Think magnetic. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management reports" really mean? Mountain Man is the industry leader of granular branding. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think subscriber-defined. Think real-time. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Without partnerships, you will lack e-tailers. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our killer feature set is second to none, but our back-end convergence and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to actualize virally. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Think cyber-front-end. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to leverage globally. We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Think world-class. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Without well-planned power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will seize the capacity of methodologies to brand. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our power to mesh.