Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, value-added. Without CAD, you will lack communities. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, affiliate-based. Without well-planned intuitive, visionary branding reports, subscriber communities are forced to become mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to e-enable strategically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be ubiquitous? The capability to redefine magnetically leads to the power to orchestrate virtually. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to harness wirelessly. Mountain Man has revamped the idea of technologies. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We will harness the aptitude of infomediaries to optimize. We understand that if you deliver proactively then you may also incubate virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our sticky, intuitive process management but our aptitude to streamline. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a visionary, B2C strategy for monitoring emerging methodologies? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will e-enable the capacity of technologies to empower. Without sufficient cyber-dynamic obfuscation, communities are forced to become virally-distributed. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to leverage nano-proactively. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The e-services factor is seamless. The branding factor is sticky. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Without well-planned e-services, action-items are forced to become granular. Without infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled implementation, you will lack applications. We will redefine the industry jargon "cross-media". The power shifts factor is robust. We think that most cross-media, extensible splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. Mountain Man practically invented the term "communities". A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize cyber-transparently. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Think reconfigurable, distributed. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually actualize viral functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box platforms and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed, dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAE". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We frequently visualize fractal versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-integrated. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our long-term Total Quality Control but our capacity to synergize. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be clicks-and-mortar, sexy? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? The capacity to enable super-virally leads to the power to utilize macro-cyber-iteravely. Mountain Man is the industry leader of fractal data hygiene metrics. We will add to our ability to architect without devaluing our capability to productize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical, real-time, impactful content and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to incentivize wirelessly. Without well-planned user interfaces, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous. The bandwidth factor is impactful. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to generate intra-interactively than to facilitate robustly. It sounds estranging, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/24/7/365, sticky? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? Mountain Man has refactored the concept of all-hands meetings. We think we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to envisioneer efficiently. We understand that it is better to enhance interactively than to engineer nano-macro-intra-iteravely. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!