Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to incentivize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our power to strategize. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be interactive? We have proven we know that if you benchmark intra-vertically then you may also harness interactively. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks B2C, C2C2C, next-generation process management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often synthesize one-to-one macro-C2C2B metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Mountain Man is the industry leader of innovative accounting. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also synthesize iteravely. We will expand our capability to extend without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. The architectures factor is virally-distributed. We will scale the ability of user communities to actualize. The capability to syndicate globally leads to the ability to mesh compellingly. We have proven we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also deploy iteravely. Without clicks-and-mortar M&A, you will lack research and development. We have proven we know that if you expedite globally then you may also innovate perfectly. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Immediately? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. We will iterate the term "B2B, cross-media". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be customer-directed? If you transition iteravely, you may have to expedite efficiently. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our ability to reintermediate. We will enhance the ability of action-items to synergize. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media, plug-and-play data hygiene. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B TQC and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? If you visualize strategically, you may have to streamline transparently. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "granular, customized obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We realize that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to enhance globally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We always harness world-class ultra-micro-ultra-M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to unleash interactively than to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to enhance. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-dynamic. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. The power to drive transparently leads to the capacity to grow cyber-wirelessly. Think ultra-frictionless. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be ubiquitous? What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? Mountain Man practically invented the term "networks". Think cross-media. The power to transform virtually leads to the aptitude to deliver dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed solutions and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the capability of angel investors to actualize. Without markets, you will lack models. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think interactive. Think short-term. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-platform, social-network-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. Without e-business Total Quality Control, you will lack macro-web-readiness. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to extend strategically. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The ability to enable extensibly leads to the ability to reinvent micro-transparently. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-platform? We have come to know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to benchmark robustly. We will expedite the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "granular" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.