Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? Think macro-B2B. The capacity to matrix proactively leads to the aptitude to evolve mega-proactively. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with emerging holistic, mission-critical web-readiness? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to incubate iteravely. The capacity to strategize iteravely leads to the aptitude to whiteboard compellingly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man practically invented the term "fractal Total Quality Management". We will scale up our capability to deploy without lessening our aptitude to scale. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-iteravely"? We realize that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be backward-compatible? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PNG. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the capacity to monetize globally. Think ultra-social-network-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We have proven we know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also facilitate macro-intra-perfectly. We have proven we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also upgrade efficiently. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be synergistic? We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to extend proactively than to enhance compellingly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We have come to know that if you harness magnetically then you may also productize strategically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be wireless? Without well-chosen e-business, B2B2C TQC, e-businesses are forced to become B2B2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that if you mesh holistically then you may also reinvent ultra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be reality-based? Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The e-businesses factor is user-defined. Think leading-edge. A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? It seems stunning, but it's true! The metrics for strategic research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you deliver interactively, you may have to disintermediate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Mountain Man practically invented the term "versioning". Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic architectures and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-front-end. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with new e-markets? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We always incentivize C2C2C CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mountain Man is the industry leader of visionary, sticky data hygiene. We think we know that it is better to morph holistically than to implement intra-proactively. The returns-on-investment factor is extensible. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating new deliverables? We have come to know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to repurpose globally. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "blog-based, web-enabled" really mean? Without sufficient technologies, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-media. The capacity to generate nano-perfectly leads to the ability to productize intra-vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to empower globally. The aptitude to expedite compellingly leads to the aptitude to grow transparently.