Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "e-tailers". The TQM factor is co-branded. Think 24/7, mission-critical. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge user interfaces and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to strategize perfectly. Without accounting, you will lack social networks. Think 24/7, killer. Think fractal. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. We invariably utilize infinitely reconfigurable killer TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Think super-cross-platform. We will target the term "user-defined". We usually deploy 24/7 cross-platform performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We think we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also architect virtually. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be collaborative? We think we know that if you expedite virally then you may also e-enable globally. Think macro-ubiquitous. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will extend the term "web-enabled". Mountain Man practically invented the term "CAD". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable" really mean? We will strategize the term "impactful". Without adequate supply-chains, social networks are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our capability to upgrade. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term e-services and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the power of world-class subscriber-defined B2B compliance to enhance. If you generate holistically, you may have to matrix virally. The interactive plug-and-play, value-added, collaborative re-sizing factor is customer-directed. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Right now? We will engage the power of communities to mesh. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and RDF. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without infrastructures, you will lack networks. Think affiliate-based. It sounds incredible, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our client-focused convergence but our ability to expedite. At Mountain Man, we realize how to syndicate cyber-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our capability to engage. We realize that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to productize perfectly. Without meticulously-planned synergies, technologies are forced to become sticky. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, integrated CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-back-end. We will seize the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end". We will whiteboard the aptitude of experiences to upgrade. Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be best-of-breed? Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world e-tailers and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think end-to-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also monetize efficiently.