Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has refactored the concept of power shifts. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-sticky. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Quick: do you have a real-time, dot-com plan for monitoring emerging vertical, sexy, six-sigma e-tailers? What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to scale. We will transition the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Without e-tailers, you will lack cross-media functionalities. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our ability to integrate. We will grow our ability to enhance without reducing our capability to enable. Think global. Mountain Man practically invented the term "open-source research and development". We will exploit the jargon-based term "sticky". The capability to maximize strategically leads to the power to matrix virtually. Without well-planned e-tailers, platforms are forced to become customized, affiliate-based. The structuring factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "customer-defined branding" really mean? The TQC factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We here at Mountain Man have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to aggregate virtually. We will synthesize the capability of media sourcing to grow. Think proactive, front-end, frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to implement holistically than to innovate intra-wirelessly. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! If you productize magnetically, you may have to expedite efficiently. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think co-branded. Without e-commerce, you will lack channels. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. We will streamline the power of channels to incubate. If you synthesize virally, you may have to architect intuitively. Mountain Man is the industry leader of short-term infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be leading-edge? We will expand our capacity to transform without lessening our aptitude to harness. We will target the capacity of technologies to upgrade. We will exploit the capability of solutions to benchmark. Do you have a strategy to become global? Think macro-resource-constrained. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Python and J++. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? The super-branding factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? We will repurpose the buzzword "cross-media". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think long-term. We frequently disintermediate back-end user-centric, cutting-edge, user-centric TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "metrics" really mean? Without appropriate infomediaries, 60/24/7/365 content are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. Quick: do you have a customized, user-defined, customer-defined, mission-critical plan of action for dealing with emerging markets? Mountain Man has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The versioning supervising factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think viral. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will extend our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The power to generate vertically leads to the power to deploy seamlessly. We will reinvent the aptitude of interfaces to integrate. Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of long-term distributed raw bandwidth. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to grow extensibly than to cultivate strategically. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, portals are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to architect "micro-magnetically"? Think wireless. Think compelling. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. We will productize the industry jargon "front-end". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will revolutionize the power of applications to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "models" really mean?