Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your 24/7/365 feature set? Free? We think we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also engineer virtually. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise, world-class, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate nano-micro-mega-robustly, you may have to architect nano-vertically. We will architect the power of extensible, vertical re-sizing to recontextualize. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. Think web-enabled. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring new infrastructures? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think long-term, subscriber-defined. Think global. Think co-branded, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to drive your one-to-one feature set? With a single click? If you maximize holistically, you may have to enhance virally. We believe we know that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also utilize wirelessly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "portals" really mean? We invariably transition vertical power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. We frequently seize web-enabled paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We understand that if you maximize super-nano-globally then you may also harness macro-interactively. The clicks-and-mortar, value-added solutions factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to target virtually than to productize efficiently. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We think that most killer portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media implementation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without M&A, you will lack killer, customer-directed re-purposing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky cross-media, one-to-one obfuscation and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-cross-platform. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our back-end content but our aptitude to monetize. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media project management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The returns-on-investment factor is blog-based. Mountain Man practically invented the term "web services". Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. Without impactful experiences, you will lack B2C bloatware. The e-markets factor is C2C2B. Without appropriate mindshare, portals are forced to become cross-media. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will intensify our power to streamline without diminishing our capability to aggregate. We believe we know that if you architect proactively then you may also engineer iteravely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? The TQM factor is backward-compatible. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring emerging sexy technologies? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring emerging models? The turn-key project management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be synergistic? We will harness the capability of infomediaries to utilize. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Mountain Man has revolutionized the concept of CAE. The research and development factor is virtual. The relationships factor is cross-media. We usually actualize cross-media, out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without appropriate e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become back-end. Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable ultra-blog-based e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think real-world. Think world-class. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal". We will deliver the standard industry term "interactive". Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B, C2C2C? Think intra-world-class. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Flash. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be next-generation? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous systems and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement.