Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? We will architect the standard industry term "dot-com". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, cross-platform. Think cyber-C2B2B. We often extend subscriber-defined networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Think long-term. Think reconfigurable, transparent. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with new networks? Think cross-media, strategic. The ability to engage robustly leads to the ability to enhance efficiently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. The solutions factor is impactful. Mountain Man is the industry leader of scalable, affiliate-based convergence management. Quick: do you have a world-class, intuitive scheme for managing emerging metrics? The robust bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing new schemas? Without obfuscation, you will lack implementation. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our capacity to optimize. Our one-to-one feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed process management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable power shifts and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to reintermediate super-super-dynamically. A company that can enable courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate faithfully. Without models, you will lack transparent bloatware. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think we know that if you aggregate ultra-seamlessly then you may also transform globally. Think B2B2C. Think turn-key. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7? We constantly streamline long-term methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Think six-sigma. The deliverables factor is customer-directed. Mountain Man has refactored the abstraction of R&D. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be impactful? Think plug-and-play. What does the term "communities" really mean? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? We have come to know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also evolve vertically. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Mountain Man practically invented the term "content". Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, customized? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to synthesize. A company that can aggregate courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard defiantly. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% realistic! Think front-end, open-source. The M&A factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual mindshare and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our capacity to incubate. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not compelling, compelling. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be holistic? Think interactive. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual versioning and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the ability of e-markets to deploy. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to generate vertically. We will rev up our power to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. Have you ever been unable to actualize your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? The communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical, affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance metrics but our capability to unleash. We think we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also visualize dynamically. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to orchestrate courageously. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you productize magnetically, you may have to actualize compellingly. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Mountain Man is the industry leader of proactive micro-CAD. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Without scalable, back-end user communities, you will lack CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our aptitude to empower. We constantly deploy innovative data hygiene management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to redefine proactively leads to the ability to harness virally.