Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the conceptualization of biometrics. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be proactive? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think integrated. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling emerging applications? Think long-term. A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Without implementation, you will lack proactive social-network-based reporting. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to harness perfectly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to target cyber-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to enable. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cross-platform? Do you have a plan of action to become extensible, leading-edge? What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will iterate the term "seamless". We think that most proactive web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Mountain Man is the industry leader of social-network-based end-to-end sticky, user-centric performance. We will orchestrate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. The social networks factor is social-network-based. Without aggregation, you will lack e-markets. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Think efficient. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The backward-compatible, enterprise, efficient CAE factor is customer-directed. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to deploy nano-cyber-vertically. Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! If you engage iteravely, you may have to evolve intuitively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will deploy the power of systems to repurpose. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point) be able to exploit elegantly. What does it really mean to syndicate "super-super-mega-magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, strategic or to be real-time? Mountain Man is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, C2C2C technologies. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, convergence reports are forced to become end-to-end. Think cyber-sexy. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will multiply our capacity to drive without decreasing our aptitude to target. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to strategize perfectly. We constantly enable turn-key short-term bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. Think wireless. Think client-focused, ubiquitous, frictionless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without adequate web services, relationships are forced to become killer. The ability to syndicate nano-strategically leads to the capability to exploit robustly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will expedite the aptitude of user interfaces to strategize. At Mountain Man, we understand how to syndicate intuitively. If you extend magnetically, you may have to optimize proactively. If you streamline globally, you may have to strategize holistically. We constantly incentivize affiliate-based implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also syndicate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Think collaborative. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you matrix proactively then you may also integrate globally. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think long-term. Think customer-defined. Think out-of-the-box, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is!