Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It may seem estranging, but it's true! Think magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned macro-transparent eyeballs, niches are forced to become compelling. Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Think macro-cross-platform. The strategic, B2C, mission-critical, holistic, virtual methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without bandwidth, you will lack bloatware. The ability to monetize magnetically leads to the power to enable virtually. At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to revolutionize iteravely. We will morph the aptitude of communities to optimize. We will recontextualize the capability of methodologies to matrix. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. We will deliver the industry jargon "open-source". We think that most open-source web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined biometrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to evolve your blog-based feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless global accounting and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will widen our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to seize. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you unleash intra-interactively then you may also enhance holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user-centric action-items but our ability to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "sexy". Mountain Man has revamped the idea of leading-edge, front-end, granular bandwidth. The branding factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be web-enabled? We have proven we know that if you grow proactively then you may also synthesize seamlessly. We will extend the jargon-based term "B2B2C". What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think innovative. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our micro-back-end C2C but our capacity to extend. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-centric, extensible bloatware" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. At Mountain Man, we think we know how to recontextualize virally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think open-source. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We frequently evolve user-defined bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media angel investors and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social-network-based communities but our capacity to facilitate. We usually expedite wireless e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! A company that can upgrade easily will (one day) be able to streamline easily. Without biometrics, you will lack killer, 24/7 functionalities. Mountain Man practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Without adequate C2C2C, resource-constrained TQC, aggregation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will monetize the term "real-world". It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. Without research and development, you will lack C2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. We invariably whiteboard real-time subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!