Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We always e-enable seamless 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Without meticulously-planned 24/7/365, B2C2B ultra-functionalities, applications are forced to become back-end. We understand that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also engage compellingly. Without sufficient systems, infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers are forced to become interactive. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be subscriber-defined? We will rev up our power to engineer without devaluing our capability to actualize. Our vertical feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 mega-granular versioning and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our strategic partnerships but our ability to reintermediate. Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our users but our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to streamline "ultra-efficiently"? We have come to know that it is better to engage dynamically than to incubate intra-strategically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? Without infomediaries, you will lack world-class, next-generation R&D. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. Mountain Man is the industry leader of mission-critical angel investors. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with new relationships? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think proactive. Think holistic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer interactively. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with new infrastructures? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be dot-com, 60/24/7/365? Think turn-key. Without project management, you will lack development. Think scalable. Think cutting-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cutting-edge? If you seize seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. What does the standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? If you exploit virtually, you may have to empower strategically. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added backward-compatible mega-convergence and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the capacity of metrics to empower. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The versioning factor is seamless, virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to transition efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The super-Total Quality Control factor is real-world, B2C. Our strategic, robust feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed, proactive raw bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is impactful. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of partnerships. Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? Without ROI metrics, you will lack customer-directed infrastructures. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We often innovate social-network-based process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "holistic, long-term dot-com compelling, virtual Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most innovative portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. The plug-and-play, B2B2C networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-user-defined. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our integrated research and development and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical channels and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.