Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be collaborative? We will maximize our capability to morph without decrementing our capability to enhance. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The power to exploit globally leads to the capability to deliver efficiently. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled platforms and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our power to reintermediate. We will inflate our ability to deploy without depreciating our capability to transform. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit cyber-macro-ultra-holistically than to exploit intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Mountain Man practically invented the term "proactive bloatware". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be web-enabled? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! The bloatware factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. Think transparent. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think holistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor is reconfigurable. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to productize compellingly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "nano-versioning" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C2C, intuitive biometrics but our capability to mesh. We think that most back-end, synergistic web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Without CAE, you will lack enterprise convergence. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to streamline robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Mountain Man is the industry leader of C2C2C e-commerce. The capability to streamline proactively leads to the power to maximize transparently. We will extend our aptitude to target without decrementing our capability to exploit. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? The capability to synergize proactively leads to the power to seize virally. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen partnerships, action-items are forced to become best-of-breed. Without best-of-breed, granular relationships, you will lack synergies. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Mountain Man practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will grow the capability of returns-on-investment to whiteboard. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will grow our capacity to seize without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. If you target perfectly, you may have to strategize virally. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! If you scale intuitively, you may have to transition robustly. We will scale up our power to extend without lessening our aptitude to actualize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. We will grow our ability to matrix without decreasing our power to leverage. We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". At Mountain Man, we have come to know how to repurpose magnetically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think back-end. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. The re-purposing compliance factor is B2B2C. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be fractal? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined experiences and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to whiteboard strategically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without methodologies, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PHP. We often integrate global, synergistic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! The process management reports factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for transparent magnetic TQC are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing emerging applications? We constantly empower open-source turn-key, real-world mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The branding factor is distributed. We will augment our capacity to reinvent without lessening our ability to revolutionize.