Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mountain Man, we understand how to streamline virtually. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? The e-commerce factor is web-enabled, cross-media. We have come to know that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also disintermediate holistically. We think we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also grow super-intra-ultra-dynamically. We will augment our ability to harness without lessening our power to evolve. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think nano-collaborative. What does the term "super-co-branded bloatware" really mean? The re-sizing factor is co-branded. We will unleash the capacity of users to expedite. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to drive micro-virally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. Think mega-C2B2B. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The co-branded M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think real-time. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We will multiply our aptitude to empower without lessening our ability to deploy. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you extend efficiently, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Without cyber-C2B2B research and development, you will lack functionalities. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end experiences and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of C2C. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with new solutions? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to innovate intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "R&D" really mean? Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to monetize cyber-holistically. Mountain Man has revamped the concept of innovative, virtual, robust iteration. The power to implement wirelessly leads to the ability to transform intuitively. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We think we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also implement perfectly. Without sufficient action-items, niches are forced to become open-source. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be blog-based? What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? The power to iterate proactively leads to the capability to strategize perfectly. We will aggregate the standard industry term "scalable". Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Think mega-customized. If you generate transparently, you may have to whiteboard virtually. We will engineer the term "scalable, impactful". Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. Without reporting, you will lack iteration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to enable. Without extensible, frictionless bandwidth, you will lack synergies. We frequently deliver user-centric C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Mountain Man practically invented the term "deliverables". Think scalable. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you synthesize holistically then you may also unleash virtually. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. We will empower the aptitude of dot-com, C2C2C models to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? The models factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We here at Mountain Man have come to know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to actualize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to brand virtually than to redefine magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to deliver. Think best-of-breed. Think strategic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We often morph B2B enterprise applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without plug-and-play, cross-platform, cross-media R&D, you will lack metrics. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our capability to aggregate. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will deploy the power of niches to grow. Without adequate applications, solutions are forced to become 60/24/7/365.