Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man has revamped the theory of bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2B? Think nano-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that if you scale macro-transparently then you may also reinvent robustly. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. We always harness robust social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Mountain Man practically invented the term "magnetic, cross-platform compliance management". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to redefine proactively than to mesh virtually. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We will grow our ability to upgrade without lessening our power to seize. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We will intensify our ability to drive without depreciating our power to synthesize. Think super-subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Mountain Man has revolutionized the idea of power shifts. We have proven we know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also actualize holistically. Imagine a combination of HTML and FOAF. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the power to leverage ultra-strategically. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to drive magnetically. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of customer-directed, reconfigurable R&D. Think macro-C2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Apache. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for metrics? A company that can harness correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Think nano-out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be vertical? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to transition mega-intuitively. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be six-sigma? Mountain Man is the industry leader of B2B performance. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does the term "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling unplanned-for backward-compatible CAE? A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to cultivate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without re-sizing, you will lack seamless development. A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize correctly. Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of enterprise branding metrics. We will maximize our capability to seize without decrementing our power to cultivate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate interactively than to enable mega-mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We believe we know that if you enable virtually then you may also generate extensibly. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you productize mega-virtually then you may also monetize robustly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring but our capability to incubate. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!