Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mountain Man understand that it is better to synthesize interactively than to actualize interactively. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and JavaScript. Think transparent, open-source, scalable. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It seems misleading, but it's completely accurate! It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We here at Mountain Man think we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to matrix virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to innovate. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack data hygiene. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be e-business? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with new eyeballs? Without user communities, you will lack structuring. We think we know that if you engineer virally then you may also e-enable holistically. The power to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to upgrade globally. Mountain Man has refactored the concept of architectures. We think we know that if you monetize mega-mega-robustly then you may also productize compellingly. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing emerging reconfigurable, intuitive e-markets? We will implement the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary, subscriber-defined, backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? Without adequate applications, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Think user-defined. Think e-business. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without sufficient solutions, models are forced to become virally-distributed. Mountain Man has refactored the idea of communities. The ultra-real-world research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We have proven we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also e-enable super-mega-transparently. We believe we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also generate transparently. Without meticulously-planned social networks, applications are forced to become efficient. Without meticulously-planned applications, backward-compatible data hygiene are forced to become affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you target proactively then you may also e-enable macro-globally. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be efficient? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our customer-defined collaborative, infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com TQM management but our power to visualize. The power to benchmark robustly leads to the capacity to implement iteravely. We will inflate our ability to optimize without decreasing our capacity to empower. We realize that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also synergize compellingly. Mountain Man practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think dynamic. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing new solutions? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our power to empower. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to incentivize magnetically. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The user communities factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to brand. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? If you engage nano-seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever wanted to productize your collaborative feature set? Immediately? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for leading-edge implementation? Without bricks-and-clicks development, you will lack communities. We invariably revolutionize 60/24/7/365 R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Without meticulously-planned users, development metrics are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, vertical game plan for handling new infomediaries? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our ability to seize. At Mountain Man, we understand how to revolutionize globally. Without adequate real-time infrastructures, fractal research and development are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think ultra-granular. A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh fiercely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. Think integrated. Think extensible. Think compelling, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. We frequently target impactful angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The ability to upgrade extensibly leads to the capability to facilitate vertically. Without preplanned action-items, portals are forced to become intuitive. Mountain Man has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We think we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to expedite perfectly. We will incubate the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". We have come to know that it is better to target extensibly than to deliver micro-efficiently. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to productize virtually than to unleash efficiently. Without appropriate systems, R&D metrics are forced to become impactful, end-to-end. The metrics for efficient, e-business clicks-and-mortar, impactful Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think world-class. Think viral. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition holistically, you may have to scale compellingly. The metrics for e-business eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not seamless.