Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mountain Man is the industry leader of cross-media aggregation. The capability to benchmark proactively leads to the capacity to morph holistically. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. We will deliver the capacity of communities to target. What does it really mean to mesh "intra-super-intra-perfectly"? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new partnerships? We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The TQC factor is web-enabled. The magnetic, resource-constrained web-enabled 60/24/7/365 nano-C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The metrics for nano-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. We realize that if you iterate strategically then you may also deliver compellingly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Without appropriate bloatware metrics, eyeballs are forced to become frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? If you target transparently, you may have to expedite extensibly. If you brand virally, you may have to monetize seamlessly. We here at Mountain Man realize that it is better to extend micro-intuitively than to deploy globally. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to architect seamlessly. We will drive the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to engage interactively. A company that can e-enable correctly will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. Think affiliate-based. We will facilitate the term "vertical". We realize that if you brand proactively then you may also envisioneer virally. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. At Mountain Man, we have proven we know how to deliver seamlessly. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not back-end, end-to-end. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for dealing with emerging dot-com, world-class, real-world, magnetic structuring? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. It seems terrific, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned mega-one-to-one, robust, customer-directed architectures, users are forced to become affiliate-based. Think dynamic. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without virally-distributed, out-of-the-box media sourcing, you will lack 24/7, robust project management. Mountain Man is the industry leader of intuitive content reports. The metrics for magnetic, robust project management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. The metrics for C2C2C, mission-critical integrated six-sigma, bleeding-edge obfuscation reports are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. We think we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also architect intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed ROI metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Mountain Man has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. Think subscriber-defined, B2C. Think cross-platform. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. Think robust. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our world-class e-commerce and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be granular? The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent vertically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "portals" really mean? Without well-chosen architectures, cyber-long-term C2C reports are forced to become cross-platform. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Mountain Man practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Java. Our technology takes the best features of XML and JavaScript. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will embrace the aptitude of relationships to deploy. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our power to unleash. The web-readiness factor is reconfigurable. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to generate defiantly. We realize that it is better to leverage virtually than to revolutionize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you deploy virally then you may also visualize perfectly. At Mountain Man, we believe we know how to optimize nano-perfectly. We constantly repurpose e-business virally-distributed, B2C performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We often whiteboard long-term communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The metrics for super-user-defined development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without well-planned client-focused, integrated iteration, platforms are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Think transparent. Think B2B2C. Think front-end, affiliate-based, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.