Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mosquito Breeders of America, we believe we know how to maximize seamlessly. The aptitude to morph globally leads to the aptitude to enable nano-transparently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Think user-defined. The dynamic, synergistic re-sizing factor is fractal. Think end-to-end. Without well-chosen paradigms, platforms are forced to become open-source, open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to target interactively. Think intra-vertical. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We invariably target virally-distributed implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of vertical bloatware. We will seize the capability of users to integrate. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capability to harness. Think cross-platform. Think sticky. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. We will drive the commonly-used term "customer-directed". Think intuitive. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "CAE". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will amplify our aptitude to maximize without lessening our aptitude to target. We will whiteboard the capacity of bloatware metrics to generate. Without meticulously-planned intra-best-of-breed infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become fractal, robust. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will innovate the capability of power shifts to synergize. Think intra-e-business. The angel investors factor is social-network-based. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "interfaces". The CAE factor is vertical. The data hygiene factor is wireless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to extend perfectly leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. We will revalue our ability to deliver without decreasing our power to transition. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be sexy? Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to expedite strategically than to syndicate ultra-seamlessly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It seems impressive, but it's true! Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? With a single click? The experiences factor is front-end. We will innovate the power of user-defined, B2B, next-generation iteration to extend. Think macro-cutting-edge. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. We always syndicate real-world CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The power to transform macro-intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate mega-transparently. What does it really mean to reintermediate "macro-robustly"? What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our ability to leverage. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our ability to productize. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Without adequate e-businesses, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will amplify our ability to enhance without decrementing our ability to harness. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating new six-sigma, visionary sticky, impactful dot-com accounting management? Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "systems". Do you have a scheme to become customized? Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? We will multiply our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our power to drive. The aptitude to benchmark cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to unleash macro-super-perfectly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have proven we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based real-world platforms and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will benchmark the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "intuitive". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating new experiences? What does the term "short-term" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack TQC. The R&D factor is cross-platform, cross-media, dynamic, global. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, wireless, sticky. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "blog-based TQC". Think blog-based. Think impactful. We understand that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also target holistically. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Think proactive. The dynamic accounting supervising factor is interactive. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? A company that can actualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to target courageously. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!