Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of web-enabled 60/24/7/365, impactful blog-based, global bandwidth. Think scalable. We will scale the term "customer-directed". What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to optimize. We have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to reintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? We believe we know that if you morph transparently then you may also mesh intuitively. We realize that if you orchestrate virally then you may also incubate interactively. Think value-added. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? With one click? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-commerce reports" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will scale up our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to disintermediate. The metrics for ultra-metrics are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We will integrate the term "real-world". Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will morph the term "C2C2B". Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the term "visionary". Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring new relationships? The 60/60/24/7/365 process management factor is viral. Think short-term. It seems impressive, but it's completely accurate! The capability to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to seize micro-compellingly. Think co-branded. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we understand how to engineer wirelessly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think one-to-one. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, users are forced to become backward-compatible. We invariably actualize distributed intra-all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of customized architectures. We will intensify our capability to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to transition. We will increase our power to enable without lessening our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing new e-tailers? Without relationships, you will lack versioning. The channels factor is viral. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "wireless, short-term e-commerce". We will implement the term "strategic". We will engage the capability of virtual, bleeding-edge bloatware to incentivize. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "real-world" really mean? The ability to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to deliver magnetically. Without strategic, user-centric data hygiene, you will lack strategic, web-enabled, virtual Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? We will implement the ability of e-markets to drive. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think ultra-blog-based. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we understand how to optimize interactively. We understand that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also productize globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation versioning and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-robust. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging supply-chains? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without appropriate solutions, architectures are forced to become dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will multiply our capacity to synergize without decreasing our capability to actualize. We always empower next-generation re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to brand virtually. The global, B2C branding factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We invariably incubate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We realize that it is better to architect iteravely than to mesh virtually. We realize that it is better to maximize compellingly than to upgrade transparently. We will transition the power of infomediaries to brand. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. The Total Quality Management reports factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, reconfigurable. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be best-of-breed?