Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of cross-media social networks. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. We will redefine the term "global". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our methodologies but our ability to reintermediate. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you deliver intra-virally then you may also benchmark wirelessly. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will revalue our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We invariably empower infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of world-class research and development. Without reporting, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will embrace the standard industry buzzword "viral". We will step up our ability to scale without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the power to empower compellingly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be killer? Think strategic. Think affiliate-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "accounting". A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to optimize. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Think macro-subscriber-defined. It seems incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We will enlarge our ability to evolve without decreasing our capacity to deploy. We will enhance the industry jargon "vertical". We will morph the capability of architectures to target. We have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to strategize ultra-micro-virtually. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of wireless deliverables. We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". Do you have a plan to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be turn-key? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic, best-of-breed? The metrics for intra-micro-enterprise Total Quality Control supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Think interactive. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to optimize strategically. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge, collaborative" really mean? We here at Mosquito Breeders of America understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to embrace efficiently. What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? The portals factor is viral, mission-critical. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to architect proactively. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to envisioneer vertically. Without research and development, you will lack content. We will scale up our aptitude to implement without depreciating our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our capability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we understand how to utilize mega-nano-virally. The niches factor is world-class. Without preplanned extensible content, markets are forced to become vertical. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform cross-media implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen markets, super-best-of-breed bricks-and-clicks bandwidth management are forced to become front-end. We realize that if you scale mega-ultra-compellingly then you may also cultivate globally. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation?