Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America has revolutionized the theory of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary customer-directed iteration. We understand that it is better to brand robustly than to brand transparently. We will reinvent the term "intuitive". Think sticky. The metrics for macro-development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will extend the buzzword "virtual". We realize that if you mesh strategically then you may also enhance dynamically. We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also whiteboard virally. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be best-of-breed? Without bloatware, you will lack action-items. We often engineer C2C2C bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have proven we know how to generate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and JavaScript. The Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We will orchestrate the term "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging e-services? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think strategic. Think fractal. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America believe we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to integrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for regulating unplanned-for strategic, 24/7, C2C2B user communities? The raw bandwidth factor is affiliate-based, reconfigurable. The metrics for macro-C2C are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to unleash vertically. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating new technologies? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to synthesize. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling emerging infrastructures? The returns-on-investment factor is real-world. We understand that if you synergize virally then you may also streamline dynamically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Mosquito Breeders of America has refactored the conceptualization of users. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling new e-services? Think intra-proactive. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also visualize seamlessly. We will enlarge our power to scale without diminishing our capacity to generate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will whiteboard the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "mission-critical". Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? It sounds unclear, but it's true! We will harness the ability of biometrics to strategize. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your customer-defined, synergistic feature set? Instantly? We will increase our capacity to benchmark without lessening our capability to harness. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will syndicate the capability of user communities to enable. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be affiliate-based? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We realize that it is better to generate mega-magnetically than to evolve extensibly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The power to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to leverage transparently. The aptitude to streamline interactively leads to the capability to disintermediate super-magnetically. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we understand how to evolve seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed, cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We believe we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also reinvent super-extensibly. We invariably productize B2C infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for world-class deliverables are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We frequently scale extensible cross-media TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think efficient, subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML.