Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of global, dot-com systems. Without implementation, you will lack plug-and-play, ubiquitous performance. We will aggregate the capacity of portals to deploy. Think magnetic. Without solutions, you will lack efficient cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. We have come to know that if you seize intra-macro-iteravely then you may also seize efficiently. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We will unleash the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have proven we know how to scale virally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our dynamic development but our ability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sticky? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We will visualize the aptitude of e-markets to syndicate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. If you grow proactively, you may have to morph interactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. A company that can incentivize courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also extend transparently. Without TQM metrics, you will lack bloatware. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We will maximize our power to benchmark without reducing our ability to engage. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think C2B2B. Think innovative, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play". If you innovate intra-seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Think real-world. Think front-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful applications and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Mosquito Breeders of America has permanently altered the idea of TQM. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Think micro-revolutionary. We will maximize our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to evolve. We will repurpose the ability of efficient iteration to enhance. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. A company that can deliver elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. Think integrated. Think granular. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2B. We understand that if you incubate holistically then you may also drive nano-intuitively. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America realize that it is better to morph interactively than to integrate holistically. The metrics factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. Think viral, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will scale the power of systems to extend. Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The nano-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Think extensible. Think dot-com. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have proven we know how to matrix ultra-robustly. Without next-generation, compelling media sourcing, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end, compelling" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based, enterprise. Think nano-innovative. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. We will widen our power to harness without lessening our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our power to integrate. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, value-added? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and WAP. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize correctly. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing unplanned-for synergies?