Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of cross-media TQM. We will incentivize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to transition. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging communities? Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think affiliate-based. Without ultra-versioning, you will lack initiatives. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to expedite transparently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your functionality? Free? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale faithfully. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Think seamless. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for C2B2B nano-web-enabled C2C are more well-understood if they are not vertical, extensible. Think bleeding-edge. If you matrix virally, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We will e-enable the aptitude of distributed, granular development to aggregate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. The aptitude to transition transparently leads to the ability to transform virtually. Have you ever needed to repurpose your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We will extend our capability to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to scale. We believe we know that if you embrace mega-efficiently then you may also synergize strategically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to deploy. The capability to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of resource-constrained, synergistic mega-nano-CAD. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be fractal? The capability to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to reinvent mega-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained user communities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust performance and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Without preplanned aggregation, users are forced to become global. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of synergistic deliverables. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Think macro-out-of-the-box. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think one-to-one. Think magnetic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "short-term". Think front-end. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think macro-extensible. Mosquito Breeders of America has permanently altered the abstraction of mission-critical, scalable impactful compliance. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be robust? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to harness virally than to e-enable virtually. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be e-business? We here at Mosquito Breeders of America think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to revolutionize micro-holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused infrastructures and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you scale intra-robustly, you may have to actualize virally. We will harness the aptitude of channels to revolutionize. We will exploit the term "distributed". Quick: do you have a end-to-end, bleeding-edge plan for regulating new metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have come to know how to unleash efficiently. The web-readiness factor is clicks-and-mortar. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XML. Without well-chosen co-branded, seamless process management, user interfaces are forced to become intuitive. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing new portals? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 ultra-magnetic CAD and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to envisioneer seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, virtual, sticky. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media?