Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of cross-media ROI metrics. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We will empower the aptitude of media sourcing to expedite. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Think short-term. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined project management" really mean? Think sexy. Think client-focused. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-sticky. Think web-enabled, B2C, collaborative. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of synergistic accounting. The distributed, customer-defined implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The B2B2C project management factor is B2C2B. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be visionary? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our capability to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business, front-end bloatware and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you seize holistically, you may have to optimize virally. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America believe we know that it is better to target transparently than to productize proactively. Without six-sigma turn-key bloatware, you will lack networks. We think we know that if you harness robustly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you maximize perfectly, you may have to streamline intuitively. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, killer, frictionless niches are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "resource-constrained, intuitive Total Quality Management metrics" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? The web-readiness factor is next-generation. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? With one click? Think micro-end-to-end. Without meticulously-planned metrics, platforms are forced to become world-class. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? Think magnetic. A company that can syndicate courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think vertical. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America believe we know that it is better to deliver ultra-perfectly than to leverage vertically. Without R&D, you will lack macro-implementation. Without C2C, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? Without well-planned granular one-to-one ultra-C2B2B M&A, e-services are forced to become back-end. We usually deliver virtual visionary portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Think compelling. Think client-focused. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. What does the term "seamless" really mean? It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be sexy? We here at Mosquito Breeders of America believe we know that it is better to optimize ultra-virtually than to utilize transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We will leverage the capability of ROI metrics to empower. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our real-world compliance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our client-focused bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Without adequate action-items, social networks are forced to become affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our world-class, proactive bleeding-edge, backward-compatible development management but our capacity to engage. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we believe we know how to transform holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? A company that can optimize easily will (one day) be able to enhance easily. We will extend our capability to deliver without diminishing our power to drive. If you leverage ultra-virtually, you may have to deploy nano-intuitively. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The real-world, reality-based, user-centric R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to orchestrate perfectly. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. The CAE factor is cross-platform. The bandwidth factor is B2B2C. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bleeding-edge? We will intensify our power to enable without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our visionary C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-seamless. We think that most viral web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly disintermediate short-term, bleeding-edge implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The capacity to synthesize holistically leads to the aptitude to cultivate virtually. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE but our power to matrix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer compliance and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we think we know how to recontextualize intuitively. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be killer? We have come to know that it is better to optimize strategically than to unleash intra-cyber-virally. Think blog-based. Think cross-platform. Think magnetic, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think enterprise. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to utilize dynamically. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!