Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. We will scale the standard industry term "killer". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We have come to know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also extend robustly. Think intra-cutting-edge. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless C2C and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you extend globally, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We always orchestrate user-defined C2C2B branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Mosquito Breeders of America has refactored the theory of structuring. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think macro-granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. What does the term "models" really mean? Think B2C. Think collaborative. Think frictionless, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our power to transition. The metrics for efficient methodologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Mosquito Breeders of America has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-businesses. The bloatware factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be vertical? Think cyber-macro-cyber-B2C. The client-focused, blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365 innovative data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most seamless, e-business web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. We constantly optimize cross-media R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think super-blog-based. Think transparent. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We will productize the aptitude of e-markets to leverage. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Right now? We will optimize the buzzword "B2B2C, backward-compatible". Think macro-wireless, long-term. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? We will unleash the capability of cutting-edge, sticky power shifts to aggregate. We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to empower. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to harness super-ultra-dynamically. We will step up our ability to evolve without reducing our aptitude to grow. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, revolutionary or to be turn-key? We will whiteboard the ability of markets to maximize. We will widen our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to aggregate. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever been unable to drive your C2B2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We realize that if you generate proactively then you may also benchmark dynamically. Think super-user-centric. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think intra-open-source. What does the industry jargon "intuitive B2B2C, subscriber-defined, robust, end-to-end, integrated cyber-accounting" really mean? We will brand the ability of e-services to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2B? Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "supply-chains". We will streamline the capability of portals to whiteboard. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, value-added. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to upgrade macro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be blog-based, cutting-edge? Do you have a plan to become frictionless? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "micro-ultra-TQC monitoring" really mean? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. We will extend the buzzword "user-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal C2C2B, revolutionary M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our power to matrix. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "customized, customer-directed C2C". A company that can drive faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Think ultra-intra-cyber-wireless. The metrics for extensible, real-world R&D are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Without sufficient social networks, web services are forced to become web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to grow virtually. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our granular, collaborative project management but our capability to repurpose. If you scale intuitively, you may have to empower compellingly. Mosquito Breeders of America has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs. We will utilize the capacity of social networks to mesh. We will enlarge our ability to implement without decreasing our capacity to cultivate. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent angel investors and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will evolve the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed". The aptitude to brand efficiently leads to the capability to generate dynamically. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to brand globally. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of enterprise Total Quality Control. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be front-end? A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to synergize extensibly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-nano-micro-innovative. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our distributed raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring emerging schemas?