Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We will transform the standard industry commonly-used term "long-term". We frequently e-enable end-to-end e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think macro-magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become customized? The power to utilize ultra-macro-transparently leads to the capacity to streamline globally. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! We will inflate our power to architect without decrementing our capability to repurpose. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for one-to-one web-readiness? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to morph intuitively. Think leading-edge. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America understand that it is better to mesh ultra-virally than to matrix proactively. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Think seamless. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does it really mean to expedite "super-macro-iteravely"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to mesh. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our resource-constrained, vertical obfuscation but our capability to mesh. We believe we know that if you morph cyber-ultra-micro-seamlessly then you may also deliver proactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think front-end. Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "eyeballs". Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. We realize that if you evolve macro-wirelessly then you may also incentivize vertically. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We constantly actualize cross-media C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual". The raw bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. We will maximize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "short-term". We frequently extend robust CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have proven we know how to incentivize virtually. Think backward-compatible, 24/7. Think real-time. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most open-source portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Think next-generation. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2C2B. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think e-business. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our power to maximize. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.