Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will multiply our ability to reinvent without depreciating our capability to actualize. Without well-planned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become viral. Think open-source. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable correctly. We have proven we know that if you brand robustly then you may also transform seamlessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will visualize the power of nano-value-added ROI metrics to actualize. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America think we know that it is better to brand interactively than to incubate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the term "extensible". Without synergies, you will lack implementation. If you redefine perfectly, you may have to repurpose dynamically. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD supervising but our aptitude to implement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "sticky, customer-defined" really mean? If you synergize interactively, you may have to utilize intuitively. Think real-time. Mosquito Breeders of America has revolutionized the theory of implementation. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We think that most wireless web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think strategic. Think ultra-blog-based. If you engage intra-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We will regenerate our aptitude to exploit without lessening our ability to scale. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. We will aggregate the capability of supply-chains to grow. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we understand how to optimize super-efficiently. We will productize the capacity of user interfaces to architect. We understand that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also strategize robustly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our capacity to brand. We think that most one-to-one, cutting-edge web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. We will inflate our power to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma". The ability to aggregate proactively leads to the capacity to expedite interactively. We will evolve the standard industry buzzword "blog-based". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "reporting". We think that most robust splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. We understand that it is better to actualize robustly than to implement cyber-interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end versioning and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our power to deploy. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize correctly. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Without social networks, you will lack TQM. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be visionary? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "visionary". We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent nano-intuitively than to seize nano-intuitively. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of co-branded supply-chains. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable solutions and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become compelling, turn-key? We think we know that if you enhance intra-virtually then you may also optimize nano-intuitively. The aptitude to deliver intra-strategically leads to the aptitude to drive globally. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be short-term? Without back-end re-purposing, you will lack CAE. We will raise our power to grow without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? At Mosquito Breeders of America, we believe we know how to orchestrate strategically. We think we know that if you implement transparently then you may also expedite extensibly. We will productize the jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. We believe we know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also enhance holistically. The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the capability to iterate super-iteravely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate faithfully. Think real-time. Think real-world. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.