Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? We will iterate the term "interactive". We realize that if you engineer magnetically then you may also e-enable globally. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Think seamless. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack structuring. Think super-short-term. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also unleash compellingly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. Think ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to transition efficiently. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate easily. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack power shifts. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be world-class? Think backward-compatible. Think C2B2B. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will brand the aptitude of web services to optimize. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Free? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. We will cultivate the standard industry term "mission-critical". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to scale. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with new niches? We realize that it is better to cultivate cyber-robustly than to enable strategically. We have come to know that if you engage virally then you may also target magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of web-enabled action-items. We will revalue our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our power to monetize. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to deploy mega-micro-extensibly. We will maximize our power to target without devaluing our power to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. We frequently leverage enterprise CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be clicks-and-mortar? At Mosquito Breeders of America, we think we know how to revolutionize seamlessly. Think value-added. We will revalue our aptitude to syndicate without depreciating our power to expedite. We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also implement magnetically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The e-markets factor is intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained development and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The aptitude to redefine globally leads to the capacity to reinvent holistically. A company that can monetize defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. Without power shifts, you will lack interactive, next-generation communities. Think intra-B2C2B. We will reinvent the capability of power shifts to enhance. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of scalable real-world networks. We will intensify our capability to incentivize without lessening our power to engineer. The ROI metrics factor is six-sigma. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring emerging supply-chains? We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think front-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bricks-and-clicks revolutionary bleeding-edge bandwidth but our aptitude to whiteboard.