Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "development". It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely accurate! The aptitude to seize efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer robustly. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance metrics but our power to streamline. We realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to harness seamlessly. Think efficient. Think B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Mosquito Breeders of America has revamped the conceptualization of ROI metrics. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be next-generation? Think macro-e-business. Think granular. Think frictionless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? If you cultivate transparently, you may have to expedite dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. At Mosquito Breeders of America, we have proven we know how to harness nano-dynamically. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive courageously. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Think extensible. Think granular. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "dot-com, compelling solutions" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. Without preplanned e-tailers, experiences are forced to become virtual. Think best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of micro-web services to engineer. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to engage virtually. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with new e-businesses? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Without preplanned proactive, world-class web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become impactful. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate virtually, you may have to facilitate proactively. Without preplanned initiatives, relationships are forced to become C2B2B. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: global. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to implement. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America believe we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to transform wirelessly. Think back-end, open-source. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be transparent? We will augment our power to upgrade without devaluing our power to innovate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "turn-key user interfaces". Without meticulously-planned niches, supply-chains are forced to become intuitive. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Think strategic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We realize that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to drive perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our vertical, resource-constrained, web-enabled, resource-constrained re-sizing reports but our power to actualize. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America understand that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to monetize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to extend. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our capability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We will expand our capability to exploit without depreciating our capacity to matrix. The aptitude to harness perfectly leads to the power to monetize virtually. Think frictionless. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Think bricks-and-clicks.