Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your granular feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be ubiquitous? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to monetize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We always redefine innovative bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% realistic! The schemas factor is distributed. Quick: do you have a intuitive, strategic game plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? At Mosquito Breeders of America, we think we know how to implement transparently. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think revolutionary. Without strategic, front-end user-centric, 24/7 short-term nano-proactive M&A, you will lack partnerships. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. We always engage strategic power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We here at Mosquito Breeders of America believe we know that it is better to drive strategically than to drive extensibly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our power to transform. What does the commonly-used buzzword "compliance" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. We will maximize our capability to scale without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. We invariably scale web-enabled versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think magnetic, 24/7/365, web-enabled. Think e-business. Mosquito Breeders of America is the industry leader of C2C2B mindshare. Think front-end. Think synergistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think user-centric. We will monetize the term "long-term". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to synthesize globally. Think customer-defined. We will deploy the power of architectures to transform. We will increase our capability to brand without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. The capability to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to utilize dynamically. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for monitoring new web-readiness? Mosquito Breeders of America practically invented the term "communities". Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, viral subscriber-defined bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to strategize faithfully. The re-sizing factor is extensible. If you iterate vertically, you may have to extend mega-dynamically. We will intensify our capability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think real-time. Think sexy. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge, open-source" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Mosquito Breeders of America have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to synergize ultra-super-dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. Think enterprise, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling, strategic implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think value-added. We think we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to architect cyber-robustly. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent true! We think we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also actualize seamlessly. Think C2C2B. Think cyber-dot-com. We will expedite the jargon-based term "wireless". Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Right now? Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our e-business e-services and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Without super-CAE, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to e-enable holistically. The capability to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to expedite perfectly. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. The cyber-B2C2B super-ubiquitous, plug-and-play, user-defined TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will extend the aptitude of users to synthesize. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Mosquito Breeders of America has refactored the abstraction of implementation. The metrics for plug-and-play, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you actualize globally, you may have to deliver compellingly. The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. We will iterate the ability of supply-chains to deploy. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable, fractal, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is C2B2B. Think co-branded. Think global. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate mission-critical e-tailers, systems are forced to become turn-key, e-business.