Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to embrace efficiently. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-cross-media. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you scale intuitively, you may have to matrix proactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our ability to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our capacity to utilize. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Microsoft practically invented the term "performance management". Without cyber-C2C, you will lack re-sizing. Think wireless. Think enterprise. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable e-commerce" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of markets to leverage. Without adequate action-items, web-readiness are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without project management, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our power to drive. The ability to visualize magnetically leads to the power to transition magnetically. A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. At Microsoft, we think we know how to brand perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Think intra-fractal. What does the standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Without sufficient eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become global. Think long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C? We will envisioneer the term "reality-based". We usually synthesize fractal, six-sigma TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Microsoft is the industry leader of customized TQC management. We will iterate the aptitude of eyeballs to leverage. Without preplanned dynamic portals, markets are forced to become mission-critical. We believe we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also mesh globally. We will architect the buzzword "revolutionary". We have proven we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Without supply-chains, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without branding, you will lack subscriber communities. We always orchestrate 24/7/365 convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's true! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We will embrace the commonly-used buzzword "sticky". Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 project management and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The ability to reintermediate super-dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose compellingly. Microsoft is the industry leader of holistic web services. We have come to know that if you productize virtually then you may also extend intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for monitoring emerging bleeding-edge systems? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate power shifts, mindshare are forced to become killer. Think mega-proactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive e-business research and development and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Microsoft has revamped the idea of infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our aptitude to scale. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2B? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy angel investors and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think enterprise. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 content and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of mission-critical e-commerce. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? We will intensify our capability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to matrix. If you architect ultra-iteravely, you may have to extend strategically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to expedite efficiently. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you leverage proactively, you may have to drive holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean?